#it might have to do with the changes i'm making to the blog

[softpine]

can i just word vomit for a min...

there was a point in late 2023 where i felt like i overstayed my welcome on simblr and i planned on just wrapping frozen pines up as quickly as possible and moving on. continuing to write when it's clear that the audience for it is dwindling felt so embarrassing that i almost didn't even want to put effort into it anymore, because i was afraid it just looked pathetic (obligatory disclaimer: no one made me feel this way, you're all so lovely, it's just the nature of seeing a community change over 7 years). writing already feels very personal to me and it's becoming increasingly harder for me to put my work out there (again, for reasons unrelated to simblr and entirely related to mental illness 🤙🏻). i know my story is so long that it deters new readers, and so sporadic that it makes old readers drop off with time. this has really been bothering me lately because i don't know what i can do to fix it. i don't think there IS anything i can do.

but. okay. don't make fun of me for saying this. dan and phil returning to youtube kinda changed my mindset? they may be pulling a fraction of the views they got in their peak, but they're happier than they've ever been and they're working on things they actually want to do, not things they think will be particularly popular. seeing that has made me realize that it is possible to keep finding joy in a community that has largely moved on without you. obviously my little blog is nowhere near the same scale, so this feels kind of silly, but i've been thinking about all the things i used to do on simblr that were never fun for me, i mainly did them because i knew they would get notes or because i felt like i had to do it. making cc, lookbooks, sim requests, reshade help (oh my god the reshade help), lot downloads, etc. they DID get notes, but i can't imagine spending my time doing any of that stuff ever again tbh.

on top of that, it makes me sad to scroll through my dash and realize that i don't recognize most of the people i see anymore. i still talk to some wonderful people here who i consider friends and that's invaluable to me (💖), but the broader community aspect is something i no longer feel a part of. and believe me, i know i'm at fault here because it's not like i'm going out of my way to talk to new people or participate in trends like i used to. i don't blame anyone except the passage of time!!

frozen pines, and simblr by extension, played such a gigantic part in my life when i needed it the most. and that's not to say that i don't still care about it, because i absolutely do, but it's a different kind of feeling. i've always promised that i would give frozen pines a satisfying conclusion rather than silently abandoning it someday, and though i do intend to keep that promise, i know it's possible that i might never get there. but i don't want to let my own insecurities get in the way of something i really enjoy doing. writing is an intrinsic piece of me that i'll never quit doing, but sharing my writing on tumblr is something that can't (and shouldn't) last forever. i know that. but i'm going to enjoy it to the fullest while we're all still here together 💞

to anyone who's still reading my silly story after all these years (especially those of you who still check in on my blog even though you're not on simblr anymore): thank you thank you thank you THANK YOUUU. you don't have to change a single thing about what you're doing. this is not me fishing for compliments or putting down an ultimatum, this is just me trying to make sense of my feelings.

but with all this being said, i've decided to quit simblr and start my own exclusive streaming service for $60 a year, i hope you'll all support me as i increase my production value 😌

(just kidding. ily. okay that's all)

#to be 100% clear this is not a goodbye - i'm literally halfway done with the next story post #just sort of an update on the state of my brain #👍🏻 #btw...... sorry to Watcher fans lmaoo you guys really got the short end of the parasocial relationship stick..... </3 #that's not relevant to anything i've said here i've just spent way too much time thinking about how youtube has changed in the past 20 year #because i'm a loser that got really into youtube when i was 11 and never looked back #and then the watcher thing happened. and i was like ohhh if dan and phil did that to me i would have to die about it.

[drivestraight]

good morning val drivestraight I have a question for you... can you sell me on lestappen. I follow you for general attitude swag and don't really follow many max blogs (I actually found your blog after that omega George fic lol) but I feel like you of all people could make the greatest ship primer. mostly I'm not very into it bc I feel like the shared history part of it gets overblown by fandom compared to other ships, and they're friendly enough these days that I can't get hatesex vibes form it + Max comes across as really well adjusted and kind of an homeboy. so I'm like what's the hook? what do you like? what's YOUR platonic perfect idea of lestappen? I want to follow u down this road 

omg what an honor...

this isn't much of a ship primer but mostly about me talking about why i like them if that's okay <3

i agree that we overplay their shared history, but it also provides a really nice backdrop for everything they are now. they've always been in each other's lives but in a peripheral sense. and it's that sort of distanced familiarity that is compelling to me. also the potential for intense physicality despite their inability to communicate like normal people. that's the hook to me: they are in each other's orbit but they never have been close. but then you get to the racing: and when it comes to the racing, they've really given some great battles. and that alone isn't enough. it's like - combined with who they are off the track: childhood rivals turned awkward work friends, the fact that they can race that hard and that they respect one another so much is just. so good. sometimes it feels like they can predict each other's moves. like silverstone/austria 19 (yes, mentioned to hell) and bahrain/saudi 22, the w2w there went crazy. and once again, this with everything else: that they have this one place and this one medium for them to communicate at such a high level, and are just so awkward everything else is very good. lewis and seb who have said in the past that max goes over the limit too much, while charles has always said with max, it's always on the limit and never above. obviously things might change if they ever get into a real title fight against one another, but i think they have such great foundations that it will be compelling no matter what. also they've lowkey like stood the test of time: look at how people characterized them in 2019 and how they characterize them today. they've changed so much and their relationship has changed so much but still, both of them are at two top teams, they have found each other again in f1.

also aesthetically, the red/blue of it all is really nice. and just like. They look good together. yknow

they also like. say crazy things about each other sometimes. "i will remember it all my life" / "i know max very very well" / etc. etc.

my perfect platonic idea of lestappen Is Not one where they're best friends and where max is his number 1 defender - because he is not, as many people would have you believe (everyone clipping moments from cooldown rooms and quotes from interviews are putting it out of context and putting words in max's mouth and twisting things weirdly), and because that's frankly so uncompelling and kind of pathetic to think that charles needs max to praise him/defend him for him to have any worth as a racer etc. etc. i could go on about this for ages but i won't. tldr max doesn't care enough to do that.

IN FIC my favorite lestappen is basically: an awkward lestappen who like each other so much and can't actually communicate it properly in any way that isn't physical. but maybe the physicality and the shared history and the racing can be enough.

#asks #lestapen asks #lestappen

[sanzaibian]

Which writers do you recommend ? What stories did you like?

I follow quite a bit of creators, so it would be quite overwhelming to include all of them ! So I'll only include those I especially like and have things to say about.

I'll of course shoutout @joshslater, he's honestly a bit of an idol to me, since his stories are always so imaginative - and well-written ! In that category I also add @salmonskinrolltf of which I especially like the multi-parters, and how he explores a gimmick very thoroughly, @maletfsstories who always write great stories that hook me up even on kinks I don't have, and @rozza22365 who basically was the one to introduce me to the guilty pleasure of gay to straight by his thrilling prose !

I'll also shoutout the very prolific @papermoon357 (because, let's be honest, who wouldn't !), whose skill really shines in the stories he posts between captions, @fredwkong and @octuscle who both have a similar style of reader-driven posting that brings a ton of varied content, with each their own spin (thinking about it, it might very well be in the continuation of the style of feu collegenerdtojock, whose tumblr has been taken over by pastry for some reason), as well as @coyotes-rules-of-change who always nails down perfectly what I find hot in tf !

And for newer writers, I'll shoutout @occamstfs who does an extremely good job, @tidetfs who seems to have pretty similar interests as me, and @alphajocklover who kinda does have that old tumblr tf community vibe to his stories !

Finally, a few mentions that I don't know how to group, I shoutout @dreamingtf and his stories that very often make me feel good, @idesofrevolution who has a nack of writing immersive stories, and @nonotnolan who writes some really sweet love stories ^^ (and I'll add an honorable mention to Programming Prince, who was banned multiple times from Tumblr, and since quit writing stories, but was very impactful in my introduction to the community ^^)

As for stories, well, you make me dig deeper, the list has already been so long to write ! But here are some of my all-time favorites, of which I link through my likes/main blog (so that if the link perishes, it perishes with that account ^^') :

@fullfriendnerdpurse's trio of alpha car, forced imposter and how to make a douchebag (not the actual title), all are great concepts of which I love to throw myself inside, and I think could all make a thrilling longer story, @rozza22365's Brotherly Changes, that one story that convinced me to follow him, @alphajocklover's Unmoved, which resonates with my personnal experiences a lot, feu tyranitartf's I'm a dumb jock, very hypnotic and thrilling, @anomanlyarchives' text message swap (not the actual title), of which I love the love story, I-don't-remember-whom's Chess Rival, republished by @marcoh1234, a good all classic that just doesn't get old, @erogenousmind's Turing, one of those stories that just scratches my existential horror erotica itch, @0ng0ingw0rk's To Love and to Cherish..., a great love story, @joshslater's Wet Dreams, the story I blame for my diaper fetish, Happy Endings' The Mind Palace (gayspiralstories), honestly my favorite story of all times, I love the concept, love the execution, the sweetness and the corruption. I do an RP on it (or at least did until I took a break), and I think that's the one concept I won't be bored of ^^'

There's a buch of other stories I love and would love to show off better, but that list is already long enough, so I focused on the most impactful stories ^^'

#ask #q&a

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Happy very belated birthday.. I hope you had much time celebrating by digging for tubers : )

I'M DIGGING FOR TUBERS! AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME!

#fanart #PIO!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! This is truly so so so delightful to look at. #The roundness...the delightful way you have drawn the ears and boots... #I would commit wildlife conservation crimes and pick this beast up in the wild. Consequences be damned that thing can dig for tubers. #(I have not made a tag for posts with my cowboy cat but I think I need to change that). #Now that I'm reading this whole post again I realize how much of it really sets the tone for my blog. #Does the art look funny? Yes. But I still show up to do it! #I can digging for tubers (make art and enjoy it) #Some people might be here enjoying my process ironically but I have to take myself seriously...much to think about. #I can also go admire my real tubers and give them words of affirmation while they hibernate. #Thank you for also giving me a moment to pause and reflect Pio. An incredible doubled pronged gift <3

[2hoothoots]

i was having a chuckle to myself last night about Gristol, and how his plans are basically:

Restore Ford Cruller's memory

Find Maligula

???

Profit

but then... of course they are, right? this is Gristol we're talking about. Fatherland Follies drives home again and again that he's still operating on a child's logic, a warped and reductive version of the world that he never bothered to grow out of. both of his memory vaults center on the images of his childhood, this idealized version of the past that he clings to no matter what. and that's still how he remembers Maligula, too - as this saviour figure, who rushes in to help him when he's in trouble.

[ID: Two slides from Gristol's memory vault, Glory to Grulovia! Left: Gristol clings to Maligula's back as she summons waves to sweep away his assailants. Right: Gristol and Maligula waving from a balcony as the people cheer. Gzar Theodore brandishes a dagger in the background.]

like so much else, Maligula represents a return to this idyllic childhood - to the peace and simplicity of his youth, when he was free from worries and responsibilities. in his mind, he doesn't need to make any further plans - once Maligula's back, everything will go back to normal. Maligula will make everything better.

...is what i thought, but then i remembered this line:

[Screenshot source. ID: Gristol, in Truman's body, bows on his hands and knees in front of the newly-awaked Maligula. The caption reads: "Yes, High Priestess! I am here to correct the mistakes made by my father!"]

and that's kind of interesting, right?

to be clear: this happens directly after Maligula sees Helmut-in-Gristol's-body, and recognises him. her line before this is:

"Little Gzesaravich! Have you come to pay for your father's sins?"

my first thought was that Gristol hadn't expected to still be in Truman's body by the time he managed to find Maligula, and this was him trying to placate her and buy some time until he could explain the situation. but watching the cutscene back, that's clearly not what's happening here. Gristol is answering as himself, and his response of throwing himself to his knees before her is, as far as i can tell, genuine.

so what is going on here?

in Fatherland Follies, there's this line in the ride narration that stuck out to me:

"Why didn't the Gzar help Maligula in her time of need? No one knows, but historians agree - it is Gzar Theodore's biggest failure."

other lines mention Gzar Theodore's "mistake", and it's wording Gristol himself echoes in the screencap above. evidently, he believes that his father abandoned Maligula, leaving her to her fate at the hands of the Psychonauts, and it was that mistake that lead to them being driven out of the country - that mistake which he seeks to correct. maybe he even feels like he has a debt to repay to her for his family turning their backs on her all those years ago.

the 'High Priestess' thing, though - that's kinda weird, and threw me for a loop the first time i played the game. it took me until my second playthrough to connect the dots, and remember how the room in the Lady Luctopus - Gristol's room - was full of Delugionist scribblings and symbols.

[Screenshot source. ID: left, the walls of the hidden backroom in Gristol's hotel suite, covered in scrawlings of eyeballs and Maligula's name. Right, the pinboard from the hidden backroom. On its surface are photographs and newspaper clippings connected by pieces of string.]

i mean, look at this stuff! he had a whole conspiracy board and everything!

we learn very little about the Delugionists and their beliefs as a whole during the game, but i think drawing the connection here suggests two important things. one: that Gristol was in deep with this stuff. i don't know how he linked up with them - maybe via old family connections, or just good old-fashioned digging (we know he's skilled at worming his way into peoples' good graces, after all) - but it seems likely that he's begun to internalise their ideas, maybe even warping his own memories of events. and two: the Delugionists themselves are, if you'll pardon the pun, pretty far off the deep end.

like... i understand why PN2 didn't go heavy on the "mass-murderer cult worship" aspect of things, in the end, but man this is such a tantalising glimpse into the wider mythos around Maligula. Gristol is proud and haughty and thinks himself above everyone else; the fact that his first reaction seeing Maligula is to throw himself to the ground at her feet says so much about the way he's come to see her. he's not just trying to bring back Maligula, his childhood bodyguard. he's trying to bring back Maligula, the High Priestess of the deluge, the semi-mythical figure whose supporters believe even death couldn't stop. he doesn't even flinch at the way she confronts him, and maybe it's because he's bought in so completely to this deified figurehead, this idea of Maligula; more a living force of nature than a person. and it all comes back to the same place: an abdication of responsibility, not just to the person who protected him when he was little but to this avatar of floods and destruction. Maligula will make everything better.

i'd write more about my thoughts on the Delugionists but that'd be taking a hard turn into speculation, and this is already kind of long and rambling so i'd better end it here. but what an unexpected and evocative line, right? it's some of the only stuff we have to go off of regarding the Delugionists as a whole, but i think it does such a good job of hinting at the wider story - at teasing another layer to the mythos surrounding Maligula, one whose ripples we see throughout the game but which never quite breaches the surface.

#psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #bored waiting at the airport so you get more psychonauts meta from me #the delugionists have been on my mind recently (because i Might Just have an upcoming au lorepost about them and also cults are fun) #so tossing my thoughts up here because people seemed to like the last few times i did this #and also it's my blog and i like to talk :) #related vent i HATE drafting posts in the tumblr editor because if you hit crtl+z to try and undo a formatting change #it deletes like half the post you just typed out #(yes i did it again while i was writing this. yes i'm still salty. why do i even bother) #what else... this is just becoming a disconnected thoughts dump #but if you've seen my posts you knew what you were signing up for when you hit the button to expand the post tags #there's new art coming hopefully this weekend if i can get it finished! it's more mermaid au designs #i'm two and a half weeks late for mermay but it turns out starting a new job and moving house doesn't leave you with a ton of free time #but that's okay it's never too late for mermaids #omg and artfight's coming up next month too! geez #i gotta make refsheets for the fsau trio because i would LOVE to get art of them #and this year i don't have a thesis to crunch on so i might actually have time to participate #oh and then in august i'm having top surgery! will make a proper announcement post for it at some point #i say 'announcement'. it's just a life update but it's nice to share #i'm super excited about it :) #i might end up blogging the process and recovery but obviously it won't be going here lol. i'd put it on my main #idk if anyone would find it useful but when i first started looking into surgery i had like very little idea about the whole process #and it's only through joining a bunch of online support/discussion groups that i managed to find more info and resources #so hey it might be useful to share? we'll see #our flight doesn't land for another fifty minutes so now i'm just writing in the tags because i'm bored #alright i'll proofread this and then post it when i land and have signal again. peace out yall hope your pride month is going well

[ask-that-weird-dog]

Kris. Kris. Kris. Of the two, do you prefer moss or potassium more?

* (You get the feeling this is about to be a very, very weird day.)

<< PREVIOUS || MASTERPOST ||

#deltarune ask blog #deltarune au #kris deltarune #kris dreemurr #deltarune comic #deltarune monsterswap #ask that weird dog #answered ask #AHA. IT IS DONE AT LAST. #PLOT TWIST. this isn't a standard ask blog! it's a COMIC ask blog! and who is the 'Player?' whoever sends them asks. :) #thank you SO MUCH for sending this because genuinely this was such a wacky way to start things off #this being the very first ask to come in cracked me up because that sure is a way to wake up a dog! LIKE. #this critter's first encounter with an eldritch horror beyond their comprehension is a bizarre question they have NO context for (but we do #sidenote good lord i'm sorry this took so long!! life has been kicking my butt wHEEZE. on the bright side though! #I did learn a lot from tackling this (which was my goal from the start) so the next asks should get done a LOT quicker! #i AM still experimenting a lot with paneling and placement and styles tho so stuff might change a lot over time tbh #(sidenote 2. this makes the ask i got last night SO much funnier. you might have the gift of prophecy ty so much) #my art #my comics

[daz4i]

how and why is there discourse about whether or not certain queer identities exist/if people should be allowed(???) to use them. why is "people know their own identity better than you ever could, and they're the only one who get a say on what they are" such a tough concept to grasp

i think if you find yourself offended by the label someone uses (especially if they're a stranger) or think it invalidates your own, it's a good idea to look inside yourself and question why that may be. more often than not, it's a result of insecurity or uncertainty of your own identity (or many other things, but i won't make a whole list here). whatever reason it is, until you resolve it, you shouldn't take it out on people for having an identity you don't understand

many have said it before but it's worth saying over and over. infighting only helps our oppressors. conservatives don't care if you're a cis gay or a xenogender aegosexual aplatonic lesbian, they hate all of us either way. trying to fit in by going for people who are easier targets for them isn't gonna help you, it'll just alienate you from your own community, and you're never gonna please them. the momentary rush you get from hearing you're not like "one of /those/ gay people" is not worth it and is gonna do more harm in the long run, i assure you

also, it is important to me to say this, but having some less than nice kneejerk reaction caused by confusion about an identity you don't understand doesn't mean you're a bad person or anything. as long as you aren't mean to that person, and you take a second to think smth along the lines of "wait a minute, this isn't any of my business" after having said reaction, you're good 👍 a lot of reflexive reactions we have to things are ingrained into us simply by. well. living in a society 🤡 and you're not terrible for having those thoughts. it's your actions that matter, and your second thought (the "wait, why did i just think that?") is more defining of your actual character and morals than your reflex. i know that having thoughts like this, even tho they're unwanted, can very easily make one spiral, so it's important to me that whoever needs to hear this knows this doesn't make you a bad person 🙏 you're good, keep taking actions to be good, accept other people even if you don't understand them, and you're on the right track :)

#i considered adding that last part in the tags but i figured it'll be too long for that 😭 #i noticed i'm posting a lot of rants lately. sorry. but i do wanna make sure no one's actually feeling bad over them #if i complain about something that you do or call it mean and such. that doesn't make you a bad person #you can always work to change and grow 👍 it's not easy but it starts with smaller steps than you'd expect #and now i just switched to a whole other topic from my original point. oops #i do firmly believe that any discourse about someone's identity is dumb as fuck #seeing it in poll blogs always makes me 😐😬 like how is it any business for any of us. why is this up for debate #if a person says they're queer then they are. they don't need to pass some test or go through initiation to be accepted #if they feel comfortable with a certain word that's awesome. why does it matter to *you* which word they use #'they're only using this microlabel to feel special' so? is there anything wrong with that? #'this label contradicts [insert other identity that falls under the same umbrella]' ok. but does that hurt anyone in any way #a lot of identities can even be self contradictory. does it matter tho? does it affect anyone in any way? #'they might realize that label is wrong later' again. what's the harm in that. #i don't blame anyone for these thoughts bc like. this is how cishets view a lot of the even more common labels #so you're basically taught to think this way from day one. that doesn't mean you need to stick to that thought process #you might have these reflexes forever no matter how hard you try. but you'll get quicker about moving on from them #but you do have to try. you do have to realize that other people's identities aren't about you #anyway. this post feels like batting at a hornets nest. really hope i don't get some bad faith readers here lol #(i noticed a lot of places one could apply bad faith but like it's 3:30 am i'm too tired to add this many disclaimer. #so i'm gonna trust you to not jump to conclusions and to approach this in good faith okay? mwah 🖤) #also my whole ramble abt morality (in the tags too) is relevant to. any topic really #i may just make a separate post about it really. .....tomorrow tho.

[twilightarcade]

menuMoment

#thatthingliveblog #ok so like progress wise we've gotten nothing done #but like? #pretty much the best person on earth #in terms of that other thing that I /alluded/ to I'm trying to get an inventory to work #like a SUPER rudimentary one because I didn't want to work too hard on math. Might edit it later though #i haven't gotten the chance 2 draw much this week... will probably draw 50 things this weekend #I do need to work out how to um. Come up with better names. #this label thing is seriously going 2 be the death of me but I might just have to get a cyoa software..? 2 plot it all out #drafted this on the wrong blog but whatever. Updates have been here anyway #i do NOT like that massive empty space btw. Working on that. #i think we're going to put a prefs button there because? It isn't on the default list for whatever reason #then after this we make ui 4 the rest of it and it looks sooo shiny and pretty and we do nothing with that #i do want to change this 2 have green on the buttons but I forgot and just photoshopped it super quick #tonight's gonna be a late night ill be on later besties #ummm that's good enough i think. Send post

[dailypokemoncrochet]

Tumblr is the best platform because I don't make a concerted effort to specifically gain followers or attention, and yet somehow people still find me amongst the billions of other posts. And SO many of y'all will leave little comments and expressions of affection on my posts or click the "like" button for my little crochets or smile when one of my pokemon comes up on your dash.

#text #i often think that every one on tumblr who would be interested in this project has already found me #but every day someone new finds something of mine and follows #and i read a shitpost that was like 'theres always other posts. literally a billion more' and that made me realize how small this blog is #and really how incredible that anyone's found it #which i might say a lot here im really not sure bc i mostly ramble like this on my personal but idk i wanted to say it here this time #been going Through It and years back on my personal and uhhh apparently i've had the thought #'i will crochet every single pokemon some day' multiple MULTIPLE times over the years even before starting this in 2017 lmao #and today i have hit the 100th of just this year #and it makes 543rd overall #and wow it hits different looking at those old posts when i'd made only an awkward clunky eevee with too big a body and now #idk im emotional so much has changed and so much is the same #and maybe it's dumb but i'm so in awe of myself for having made such progress in this One Thing #this one thing that is so silly and yet so meaningful #like all the shit going on in the world in my world #im still here in this tiny space able to do something i love and being able to share it #the thought is always the same the mood is always different and today i am choosing to make it comforting

[izzy-b-hands]

I really wish blocking someone meant their stuff wouldn’t wind up on your dash at all. Like I understand why it doesn’t, but. still.

Actually, I just need to get better abt checking source urls before I reblog. I try to be mindful, but now and again I Forget and have only myself to blame lmao

#text post #I would love to reblog their art and be supportive in that way at least but tbh #every time I accidentally reblog it I remember checking out their blog and seeing how they talked abt fans that like Izzy and the izcourse #and it's like oh no that's right you hate ppl like me and ur art might be gorg but maybe we just shouldn't interact #they do their thing and I'll be over here doing mine #what really needs to happen is I need to remember to check urls on fandom art to make sure it isn't any of the folks I had to block lmao #but sometimes I get excited bc the art is genuinely lovely and i do like it and think the person is v talented! #and then i forget to check and it's only after scrolling my dash that i see my reblog and the url and go 'oh. fuck. that's right. damnit.' #it's a weird feeling to be like yes I want this person to have fun and make gorgeous art but also it seems #they've made it p clear how they feel abt folks like me and so maybe they would prefer i just fuck off #which i tried to do by blocking!! and yet. here we are #i delete the reblogs whenever this happens so they don't have me in their notes but #i do hope they know their art is lovely and I appreciate their hard work even if we wouldn't otherwise get along with each other #idek why I'm blogging abt this I guess bc I feel like usually it's either or online? like u either hate each other or u don't #but I don't hate the folks who sent shit to me or the folks who condoned it i just wish i had found a way to get along with them instead #as useless a wish as that probably is #and i don't talk abt it a lot but it really bugs the fuck outta me sometimes that we can't just start over and try to interact generally #no messages no trying to be friends just reblog from them if u like and otherwise ignore each other #which has been a thing that's worked fairly okay in other fandoms tho things have happened in others to change how workable it was #but for some reason in this one i feel like im just always walking on eggshells to interact w/anyone bc it feels like everyone is waiting #for someone else to say something they vaguely disagree with and instead of just like. blocking and moving on w/the fandom experience #it turns into a massive mess that even if ur on the fringes of it all you still get pulled into or sent shit and just. #idk it doesn't matter bc ultimately none of this does but dang it the show has been special to me and hits all my special interests #and it's hard to let go and accept that there's no changing how things went and how they are and how this fandom experience for me is often #very fucking lonely even when i'm bursting at the seams to share and to hear from others what they think abt anything and everything w/it #no one is gonna read this tag essay lmao pls scroll on

[abyssembraced]

Okay, so! I have:

Changed the url of the blog (scale-tippers -> abyssembraced)

Changed the colour scheme of the blog (though it's still somewhat subject to change)

Updated the avatar to reflect the new colour scheme (though it's still temporary until I draw a nicer one)

Removed my old promo as my pinned post due to it being outdated (a temporary pinned post with links and stuff will be up in a sec; a new promo will come eventually, probably once I finish writing Rouxls' bio page)

Archived (dropped) Ryunosuke and Robin as muses for the time being.

#ooc #((plus side to making a poll about the url change and not just dming my mutuals directly:)) #((the anonymity and indirectness makes people less pressured to say 'yes' and thus will answer 'no' if they don't want me to change it!)) #((the down side to not talking to people directly:)) #((i do not know who i now need to apologize to for changing my url)) #((and the reason the blog colours are still subject to change are because everything is very ghost-centric right now)) #(( (oh btw tumblr stop trying to correct me on my spelling of ''colours'' i am Right) )) #((''abyssembraced'' is still a lot more fitting for ghost than it is for rouxls even though the new url was supposed to suit both muses)) #((but i chose to go for that name specifically instead of something like ''darkembraced'')) #((so i'm thinking i might change the blog's colours to be black/dark grey and blue/cyan to reference castle town)) #((so that rouxls feels more included given that he's Also a primary muse)) #((also i do still love ryuu and robin but i just. don't have the confidence to write them right now)) #((maybe they'll come back someday! but i'm not gonna promise anything and i wouldn't count on it unless i decide to replay their games)) #((but i don't really like dealing in absolutes so i'm calling them ''archived'' and not dropped)) #((their bios are still available on a separate ''archived muses'' page i just made that can be accessed from the regular muse list))

[thethingything]

wait you guys like perfume too ?? do y'all have a favourite maker - 🪲

oh I only really got into it very recently so I don't know that much about it other than like, really specific stuff about certain compounds because I learnt about them in a different context that led me onto learning about their use in perfume.

in terms of perfumes we like, we normally wear Drakkar Noir which was kind of an impulse purchase because we wanted to start wearing perfume and didn't know what else to get, and I do really like the smell of it, but I think it'd be nice to try some other scents at some point to see which ones we like.

I'd like to learn more about how different scents interact with each other and how perfumes are formulated based on that because I think the science behind it is really cool

#ask #🍬 post #currently zooted #this took forever to answer because I couldn't figure out how to explain what I meant with the stuff that I do know about #but basically I got into this by trying to work out why certain floral and fruity smells reminded me of stinkhorn when combined #(stinkhorns smell of rotting flesh and I know there's a sweet component to that smell #but I wanted to know what specifically was reminding me of it) #so I ended up googling what compounds made up various smells and reading about that #and in the process I stumbled across a blog run by a perfumer that talks about death #and the science behind the smells involved in that as well as what scents are used for different death related customs #so it was kind of one special interest leading into another in a really unexpected way #and then I started looking at like the terminology that's used with the different notes used in perfumes #and how perfumers end up considering things like how the smell changes as different components evaporate over time #and I think that's really cool. like with Drakkar Noir you start of with this citrus-y kind of scent from the top notes #and then those fade pretty quickly and you start to get more of the woodier base notes coming through #and then there's the thing of how because different people have different skin flora and therefore their own scent #a perfume will smell different on different people and you might really like it on one person but not on another #and yeah idk where I'm going with this. I'm very rambly but also can't tell how much of this is making sense #a lot of the science behind perfume and creating the scents reminds me of the science behind making different candy flavours #so I also find that overlap interesting #and that also comes back to the death interest because some esters used as flavourings are also components of decomposition smells #especially kind of fruity ones. I think a couple of them are used for banana and pear flavours and scents. so like pear drops #anyway yeah. that's kind of what I've been rambling to 🦋 about

[hirazuki]

If you hear the scream of metal tearing, that's just me rewiring my muscle memory to accept that the dashboard buttons are now on the left after twelve whole years of them. not being there. X_X

#overbooked myself like crazy this month in terms of work/obligations/etc. #which is why i've been a bit absent lately #(i want to spend what free time i do have on art and writing prompts etc.) #but also blogging might be slower until my brain releases its claws from the Dashboard Of Old #like. i consider myself a pretty adaptable person. thing is the changes i'm adapting to need to be logical for me to be okay with them #it needs to make sense #and. it. doesn't. #(it's also ugly af; aesthetic sensibilities are cryingggg T_T)

[glimmeringtwilight]

So i'm not going to do a follower celebration until I finish the halloween pieces for the month (I go on vacation tomorrow, planning to get the bulk of it done on vacation and then I'll post them all a handful of days apart) but gkdkdksk jesus 😭

I didn't even have time to do anything for 600 because 700 snuck up so quick GJDHFKS

I appreciate it sm though 😭 I can't promise anything on a big scale bc I thought I'd have more time for a cyoa type thing before 1k, but I'll try to keep doing polls at least as thanks and so you all get more input on what I work on next

#gt rambles #not writing #also if you're one of the people who goes thru my whole masterlist liking different stuff: ily #it's so cute seeing who people's favorite characters are bc sometimes they just go through a whole character tag (usually dottore) #I plan to eventually have enough content for each character to have a couple of fics from me #it'll be a while though. bear with me i'm slow AKFHJAJC #me at 600: oh i can do something for it later #me at 690: oh. i'll still do something for it later... #why are we going so fast #also to everyone who leaves a comment on my fics: ilysm #i know I don't always reply but you're never annoying me or anything. i'm just scared of you AHAHDJAJFJS #/hj #i mostly just don't like that i didn't make this blog on my main and thus i can't reply from this account #so it still confuses people from time to time #and i don't want to change my main blog url to clear up the confusion bc i have long-standing mutuals on there i also dont wanna confuse #plus i like my main blog's name more than this blog's name tbh #i wanted to change this one's url a while ago but rebranding might be a little too late now that i'm over two years in(after hiatus)

[vrmxlho]

sorta want to use my real name because it's so pretty but that's not safe + i don't want irls to ever find me after they found my twitter

#it's so cute tho #best name #kira is also cute but nothing compares #i might just change my alias cuz i'm a bit sick of this one 😦 #what do y'all think 🤔 #but i'd have to change my url too lmao #ig i'll just make another blog and let it be my alter ego 😱 #(💬) — kira stfu

[foone]

Your posts are in an AI model

and then Tumblr decided to sell them to AI models.

Now, don't get me wrong, tumblr selling out the users to AI companies is bad, yes, they shouldn't do that. It sucks.

but don't lets get this confused: your posts were already in there. Tumblr selling them is about tumblr making some money and about the AI models having more exhaustive post collections. It's not about your posts being in an AI model, vs not being in one. That battle has already been lost.

Can you find your post on google? Then it's almost certainly in an AI model already. Think about it: These AI sites showed up before all the sites were making deals to sell their users' content, right? How do you think they built them in the first place?

They scraped the posts. Just like google and bing and such do when they build their search indexes.

It's a fundamental part of how the open web works: you want your posts on tumblr to be visible to users, right? You want them to be readable?* Like, look how much stuff broke when twitter changed their whole read-while-not-logged-in policy, ruining a bunch of thread links/NSFW links. And if it's visible, it's scrapable. That's what the AI models were built on.

I've done website scraping before (not for AI models, of course. I was doing search engines and website archival), this is just how it works. You hire a few relatively smart CS graduates and tell them "build me a scraper that'll give us a bunch of tumblr posts" and they go off for a month or two and come back with a database of a few billion posts, and you stuff that into your AI model. That's how they got all the deviantart and flickr and twitter and pinterest and so on posts. They didn't pay for them: they just took them.

They only ever pay for this shit because either:

they fucked up in such a way that the site might be able to sue them for taking rather than paying

They can buy them cheaper than they can finish taking them. Maybe they'd need to pay the CS grads for an extra month? well, that might be more expensive than just throwing the site a couple hundred thousand bucks.

ANYWAY: my point is, don't treat this "oh no tumblr is selling our posts to AI" like it's a big thing that might happen and it would be bad to happen. Yes, it's bad, tumblr shouldn't do this, this'll let AI models get continual updates of content for far easier than just scraping them would be, tumblr betrayed user trust, and so on...

but realistically, this is not a black and white matter of "if only tumblr didn't do this, then we'd be safe from AI models!"

Nope. We already lost that battle. I'm sorry, and it does suck, but that's just how it is. The avalanche has already started, it's too late for the pebbles to vote. * I'm assuming here that you don't run a private blog that's set to only followers or something. You'd be safer then, of course, but you're not really my target audience for this rant

#this is not in any way pro-ai #but I don't know how to tag this