#it hasn't even been two months

[jsmithcameronx]

J. Smith-Cameron attends the 2024 Writers Guild Awards New York Ceremony on April 14, 2024.

#j. smith cameron #j smith cameron #jsc #dailywomen #dailywomansource #blondessource #agelesswomen #breathtakingqueens #femalestunning #wonderfulwomendaily #* #edit* #actors* #jsc* #awards* #HI HELLO HI #it hasn't even been two months #since her last event #BUT I MISSED HER #I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

[pianokantzart]

#I'm losing my mind HOW DID THIS HAPPEN #when the comic's finished I might just need to go back and fix the little goblin skflaksjf #It hasn't even been that long it's been what... two months maybe? #Good Lord #It was my first time ever drawing Dimentio cAN yOu TeLL!?

[archduke-enver-gortash]

posting on here is like my sisyphean boulder i'm constantly rolling tbh

#god i am trying so hard to just have fun and be myself #but when i do that i'm immediately a strange outsider creep #and since i can't really mask my version of masking is just not talking and then obviously you don’t find any joy in fandom spaces either #i will always be a shitty unlikable freak no matter how much i pretend otherwise. it was obvious from the start that getting involved in #fandom spaces was a fucking mistake. it's always a mistake because you're some laughing stock at best and a horrifying freak at worst #i don't blame people for not liking me i've realised what an awful person i am long ago #but it's always so hard witnessing something like fun social groups from the sidelines knowing you'll never be a part of it #this is why my mental state has been deteriorating so severely in the last few months. that Realisation once again nothing fucking changed #i know it's stupid to get so upset over fandom but it's only a pattern for me #i stopped trying to be friends with people when i was a teenager because it hasn't worked a single time #this attempt at integrating myself into the wotr and bg3 fandom by sharing my shit was just one mistake #gortash/zeke is so different from anybody else’s work and i wish i could find joy in something that it isn’t fucking deranged but i can’t #like yes it’s just fandom bullshit! gortash/zeke is a fucking oc x canon ship! why am i getting so upset over it! #i love writing them. i’ve never been this happy writing anything. and it’s entirely indicative of a common pattern in my life #when i earnestly share parts of myself/things i’m passionate about people get creeped out. and honestly? rightfully so #i would leave the discord servers i’m in because it’s fucking crushing me dude. this is so petty but i’m so jealous of what you people have #but in one i am server owner and i don’t want to just dump that responsibility onto someone else and then dip #and in the other two i’m not sure anyone would even notice that i’m gone but i still worry about being rude #though i’m not entirely sure i didn’t get invited to one of those just so people could laugh at me. idk probably just being paranoid but i #it’s been gnawing at me #ok no if i’m being this vulnerable on tunglr.com i can also say that part of me staying is also still having the hope that i could fit in #one day. logically i know it won’t happen but it’s nice to have hope sometimes #watching you all from through the window having fun like a creep #so yeah. i’ve always felt like this but it’s been rapidly getting worse with my failed attempt at the bg3 fandom #idk just been crying non-stop for the last few hours. went through an entire pack of tissues in an hour it’s very disgusting #they’re all lying around me as i’m typing this like a pillowfort of snot lmao #so yeah. idk. if someone could come over and lobotomise me that’d be nice. orin where are you when we need you most #i never had any friends irl so i foolishly gave this a shot. i’m sorry #also doesn’t help that i can see someone dropping me for people that are easier to be around in irl rn #it just hurts because it’s always like that. someone you are around when you have no other option at best. not even that sometimes

[theres-a-bea]

cw!: CN server spoilers under the cut! view at your own risk!

I'M SORRY ?!

what the fuck is this

this event feels like a callout bc what the fuck is that scar placement for if not a direct "@ trixie we saw your blog ur ass hasn't been playing so we're giving him the Tommy Arashikage Scar™︎ give us your fucking money and be bound in the chains of capitalism you WHORE"

EXACT FUCKING PLACEMENT TOO this is a direct callout which one of yall works for hyv

fuck you hoyo this is manipulative capitalism I will be waiting when it comes out thank you v much TAKE MY FUCKING MONEY

#tears of themis #zuo ran #artem wing #baek eunhu #sakyo shizuma #I HAVE BEEN CALLED FORTH FROM THE GRAVE ? #they rlly said 'oh you wanna talk shit? talk shit abt THIS you SLUT' #how dare you use my two weaknesses against me #'hmm how do we haunt this one bitch who keeps talking shit about the 2nd anniversary even though she hasn't played in months?' #this post is an apology to my wallet

[pochapal]

blowing a kiss to my mutuals who i have been sorely neglecting. on account of the Horrors.

#:) #i could conveniently lie and say the phd workload has been kicking my ass but that hasn't been happening #i've basically been sitting around trembling like a chihuahua on the verge of throwing up every day for the past like two months. lmao. #don't wanna Mope Post but i am like just barely struggling through to meet my bare minimum obligations rn it is so unsexy for me haha #energy in the negative all the time. so stressed i can barely function. crippled with guilt and fear about literally everything #even my Chronic Distress stomach condition i had as a teenager is rearing its head once again after a whole decade like............ #i'm in the trenches so badly i can't even pretend it's funny #all the time i feel ashamed and lazy over this because i'll write like 1000 words and send one (1) message to someone and clock out #because that tiny amount of stuff is all i can psychologically stomach like @ me be serious.............. #so yes i'm definitely neglecting everything kind of but it's not on purpose and i Am really trying i prommy #it's just hard to consistently do things from within the torment nexus ^_^

[sunnnnyy]

losing my favourite game

"You think that's how a real professional behaves?" His father grabs for his hair but it's too short to get a good grip so he pushes his head to the side instead. "Fucked it up and now spreading your legs is all you're good for."

Jamie presses his lips together. He wants to retort that surely Roy Kent would have fucked him on the pitch if that were true. But Roy didn't. He left without a second glance.

featuring omegaverse, a smidge of James Tartt Sr, and surprisingly little smut

Read on Ao3

Beginning under the cut

Playing at Nelson Road again is weird. When he’d changed in the dressing room for the visiting team, it had truly sunk in. He’s just a guest here. Had always been a guest, hadn’t he? Thrown out as soon as he started feeling too comfortable. And now Lasso with his stupid “I wish him all the best” mind games. As if he really cared. As if any of the team cared. Not one of them greeted him. Maybe that last night had been a dream. Maybe they hadn’t shared a bottle of Mezcal around their burning sacrifices. Maybe he’d never given up the boots and told them about his mum and his dad.

He warms up on the pitch and Roy Kent watches from the bench. Glaring at him. Jamie throws him a kiss.

Energy is buzzing under his skin. He knows he's showing off, pressing for the first goal, for the win. It doesn't fall in the first half.

Roy Kent is on the pitch for the second half.

He wants to ask him what he's doing. Remind him that he won't be able to keep up with them, that he will make a laughing-stock out of his own career. He doesn't. Tries to be glad Richmond is giving them an easy one. And then the referee blows the whistle and he throws himself back into the game.

He sweats through his kit during the first few minutes but he isn't tired. Everything seems to be sharper. The crowd on the stands, the calls from his teammates. The smell of the grass. The glare of the floodlights. Roy's presence, unavoidable in the back of his mind, always letting him know where he is and how fast Jamie could be by his side. He wants to follow the call, ask Roy what he did to him. But then O’Gara passes him the ball and he doesn’t have time. Roy will still be here after the match.

He takes off. No one is between him and the goal. He can already see the shot, knows where he will bury the ball into the net, just a bit further...

His neck prickles.

Thoughts of a weak knee, of going easy. No. He’ll need to prove himself, to show how much he wants Jamie. That he’ll fight for him.

He runs.

Come on, Alpha. Show me.

Continue on Ao3

#HAPPY FUCK HIM ON THE FIELD FRIDAY #ted lasso #royjamie #words: 9k+ #rating: e #it feels like i have been working ages on this and it hasn't even been two months #but also this continued to grow and grow and grow #one month ago at 6k i thought i was finished lmao #omegaverse #the world needs more omega jamie and i am here to provide #my writing

[onekisstotakewithme]

aaaaand now my mom has covid :)

#my dad told me this morning that two of my uncles tested positive. and now my mom has. #FUCK #when it hasn't been your day your week your month or even your year...

[peko--peko]

omg happy 200 followers!! ;o; thank you for liking and rb my silly posts, every time i see a lil encouraging comment in the tags i shed a tear, y'all deserve a kiss in the forehead ( ੭ ˘ ³˘)੭♡

#💌.txt #i have no idea how this happened #i have more followers here than my main and i find that hilarious #it hasn't even been two months since i started posting here!!

[pearl-kite]

Finally getting my oil changed and high key expecting the guys working on it to have a great story to talk about later because of how embarrassingly long it's been since I got it changed

#kite rambles #it hasn't been driven more than 2500 miles! #mom always told me to pay attention to miles because the three months is always too short! #that probably applies when it's maybe a month #maaaaybe two #not... #god i don't even want to say it #i got my oil changed January 2022 #😱 #i am SO sorry Gwen you deserve so much better #it's probably a solid in there by now isn't it #ugh god

[luchsyy]

is pokemon scarlet/violet really that bad? :( i heard people are already getting refunds

#i wanted to wait a month or two before i buy it because i wanted to see if it's worth it or not #and it hasn't even been a full week.......... #talks

[jsmithcameronx]

J. Smith-Cameron and Zoë Winters at the Opening Night Celebration of Free Shakespeare in the Park's "Hamlet" held at The Delacorte Theater on June 28, 2023 in New York City. 

#j. smith cameron #jsc #agelesswomen #wonderfulwomendaily #femalestunning #and she's wearing gerri's clothes so you know #dailywomen #blondessource #* #edit* #actors* #jsc* #she hasn't been out in two months #and my crush is as strong as ever #even after more than a year #so i just have to #she's just SO DAMN PRETTY #and she's wearing gerri's clothes so #HDJAHFKAHALDHD

[taruruchi]

You guys don't understand THE MATHING ISN'T MATHING

ACE HAS NO R CARDS BUT AZUL HAS TWO. ACE HAS FOUR SRS BUT AZUL HAS ONE. SO. WHY @?)?/?)?%!%?@?# I'm going through the five stages of grief at the same time rn

#Why oh why do I keep track of cards #The grief I've gone through since writing down the beach ones #YOU CANNOT TELL ME “Oh it's bc Ace has less SSRs” #Lilia got two ssrs in the span of two months #Hasn't he gotten like. Four this year in total. #NOW YOU CANNOT LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME #I got reminded of a ts lyric wait. #AND TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME... CAUSE IT RAINS IN YOUR BEDROOM EVERYTHING IS WRONG okay anyway #I was so ready for Azul to get an SR I'm not even kidding I did the math long ago #I legit predicted the ssrs in masquerade #My friends can testify unless they forgot in which case valid #Listen. It's been more than a year #More than a YEAR #ACE'S HASN'T BEEN MORE THAN A YEAR IT WAS THIS YEAR #I need an explanation from the twst devs #So yeah that's it for taru going insane. So sorry for those who read it #☆ taruchi rambles 💬

[dykedivorce]

the monster baru cormorant: i'm drowning 🤕💔💉

the tyrant baru cormorant: ... in pussy!!!😜👉👌💦

#the masquerade #finally finished tyrant after a MONTH god. i could have been done in one weekend idk what took me so long #anyway many many thoughts head very full #mainly im just always thinking about 1. BarHu 2. 'Barhu went to walk among her people one last time.' #that line made me immediately burst into tears and i couldnt even understand why at first #but it's just. god it's so much. #she did it all for taranoke in the end. the source of everything is taranoke and its people being colonized. #the story starts because taranoke has been transformed irrevocably by imperialism #and baru's entire life is a rebellion against that fact #but there is always that fantasy of living hidden on taranoke with her two wives arguing about something #there is always the fantasy of taranoke becoming what it was in her childhood again #it's a refuge in her mind it's a comforting image #and it's probably not even an accurate image because she was in falcresti school so young #it's a mirage but it's still the source of every single one of her sacrifices and choices . it's the thing that shapes her whole existence. #so of course she has to give up the fantasy; the comfort; her last link to her people and her parents. #just like she gave up hu and friends and betrayed everyone and completely lost herself and her ability to trust others #she has to be publicly repudiated by the people she gave it all up for #she has to cut ties to her /culture/; to the place she comes from; to a connection to people who simply understand #and it's not like those ties were not already frayed - she hasn't even talked to another taranoki since the first half of the first book #but it's still. one more cruelty dealt by the empire #the price of her fight against imperialism is unbearable and she bears it again and again #which is why i forgive all of her wrongs. MY poor little meow meow #but also in putting the taranoki in the confidence isn't she creating a connection that the empire cannot reach and cannot break? #something tenuous; invisible to everyone but her and her parents and her aunties and uncles. but it's there like a thread between them. #(it's trim!! the one thing imperialism cannot touch!!) #and the 'barhu' well. it's self explanatory but i'll explain anyway because i'm really just about to cry again #the fact that she physically; literally carries tain hu with her everywhere she goes. #she carries the grief; the guilt; the love; the memories. and she's so full of it all that half of her body is dedicated to holding it. #she made herself a shrine to the lover who sacrificed herself. her own brain altered to recreate hu as if she was still there next to baru. #im sorry how does anyone who's read the masquerade not go fully insane with that thought????

[solarisfortuneia]

dude we're at 98 aaaaaa

#no this is so fast like?? #it took me nearly two months on the last blog and it hasn't even been ten days here #—✨

[v-iv-rusty]

I am going to bake so much shit this week

#misc.txt #for context I'm house sitting for a friend for 2ish weeks and they're letting me stay in the two room guest house they have #WHICH MEANS I can cook and bake and do whatever without being harassed every time I step into the kitchen :) #I just need to go shopping tomorrow #ok but for real this is. so nice?? #I brought my pc #+ my drawing tablet and stuff #it's.....so quiet here?? there's no yelling?? I don't feel tense for the first time in years?? #I feel.....ok. when I'm out of the house and away from the main sources of my stress. my anxiety overall is just so much less intense #and it hasn't even been a full day away yet. it's just. so quiet. #and I can actually cook fuck yeah!! I need to find some good recipies to make so I'm not eating out for 2 weeks bc that's expensive #I'm going to make baklava and possibly a pie but neither of those are meals so. you know what though I do have a soup I want to try making #but like I can!! and nobody's going to get pissed at me for....breathing wrong!! or taking up space!! #I kind of feel like I don't even know what to do with myself when I don't have to constantly force myself to act a certain way #my friend is going to have a Lot of pastries and things waiting for them when they get back. after I go shopping tomorrow. #literally it feels so nice to just be able to........exist #now if I could just find an apartment that isn't $500000 a month rent I could have this all the time

[noxtivagus]

OMG FINALLY AFTER SO LONG, SMTH FINALLY OVERTOOK CYRUS THE SCHOLAR HSJFADSJKL

#🌙.rambles #night in the brume... ffxiv #it's 10 minutes long oh wow how many times have i listened to it then #then there's also the other night in the brume at 9 HAHA #tbf i listen to those two on repeat a lot for hours at night #i only started listening to apocalypse in february damn #i first listened to yonah last year but #it's only this summer that i really started to listen to it #less than three months basically but it's already so high #😭😭 i've listened to a lot of cyrus the scholar in the past two years #it's a song for me that i can easily play on repeat #whether i'm crying or doing homework or just chilling #i really love all the instruments in it so much #anyways ignoring (/lh) the kpop from last year T_T #my top for last 6 months is also pretty interesting #yonah - piano ver. + night in the brume + existence + apocalypse + cyrus the scholar + #piano:night in the brume + neath dark waters + let's get it started + voice of no return + love dive #it hasn't even been a month since iluna debuted tho oh wow