#isn't exactly forgiveness

[commsroom]

i know it’s a popular idea, but i don’t think i can ever really be on board with the idea of lovelace having some big post-canon revenge tour. like, i can appreciate the catharsis of a good revenge narrative in other contexts, don’t get me wrong, but given the themes of wolf 359 as a show, and particularly the values lovelace expresses in her own character arc, i can’t see it as anything other than a tragic regression into the exact type of person she chose not to become.

“the whole epic rampage of revenge thing? isabel lovelace wouldn't do that. the terrible wretch that you people made isabel lovelace into? oh, she'd do that. but... i’m not going to be that person anymore. i’m going to be isabel lovelace again. even if i never have before.”

twice near the end of s3 hilbert calls lovelace isabel, sees in her some shared experience and reflection of himself and his willingness to do whatever it takes, by any means necessary, but he fails to realize that what he recognizes is the result of trauma inflicted on her largely by him. hilbert is a constant reminder of what lovelace has lost and what’s been done to her, and in some sick way that makes him the last link to her past. they both die, and she comes back, and he doesn’t, and she decides to be isabel lovelace again. i don’t think that’s a coincidence.

wolf 359 as a show seems to believe in the futility of revenge - all of dirty work, “and then what? who pays for this? who owns up for this murder? and for the one after this one?” - and places its faith instead in the power of individuals to break cycles of violence and abuse. and i think that’s relevant to the wording of lovelace’s final lines in the show: “look up some old friends, take apart goddard futuristics brick by brick... maybe go to disneyland? but first, i’m going to take a long vacation, somewhere warm and quiet, where nobody has any idea who i am.”

lovelace feels a sense of duty in dismantling goddard and holding them to account, but it’s a world away from the all-consuming ire and drive for revenge “run and hide” contained. i think that’s where the focus should be. it’s not about hurting the people who hurt her, not anymore. it’s about preventing them from hurting anyone else. it’s a final act of love and closure for the people she couldn’t save, to say: i’m still here. i remember you. i’ll make sure your families know the truth. i’ll make sure they never hurt anyone else, ever again. i can’t bring you back, but your deaths won’t be in vain.

i think it’s important to emphasize that lovelace is NOT a violent person. she doesn’t want to be. she doesn’t enjoy it. whatever she may have been driven to by fear and trauma and desperation, she chooses to be isabel lovelace, and that’s not the person isabel lovelace is. i hope she does help take goddard down. structurally. brick by brick. and then i hope she lives a good, peaceful, happy life, in the memory of all her loved ones who couldn’t. like minkowski in boléro: “so that we never forget how important it is that we're still here.”

#wolf 359 #w359 #isabel lovelace #i hope this doesn't seem confrontational at all it's just. #something that's been on my mind for a long time #i have some other tangential thoughts that i might get into later about. revenge in wolf 359 and how the alternative to that #isn't exactly forgiveness #it's about. healing it's about choosing to end cycles of violence and trauma and saying. i won't let you hurt anyone else #and i won't enact hurt. no matter how much i want to or how much you may deserve it. because taking away the power to do hurt #matters more than retribution #and that does kind of tie in to wolf's overall stance on rehabilitative justice #and it's very human. that someone can be an irredeemable monster to one person and someone else's best friend #obviously to differing degrees of severity but. there's something to it. #i do think jacobi and lovelace could potentially parallel each other in a post-canon scenario but it's because they've both #been in that place of all-consuming desire for retribution and had to step back from it. in their own ways. #and they're kind of the outsiders in a way because they've both lost Their people. lovelace is closer to the others than jacobi by FAR but. #it's not the same. #also re: clones in wolf 359 and how they're on opposite sides of that. experience. #the tiamat logs suggest maybe each clone is a little bit different in subtle ways but i think it's worth considering that maybe #they are identical at the moment of creation and the 'differences' the aspects of them that are amplified are a result of #minute differences in their experiences and ways they're treated from that point forward #but that the potential for all of those things was the same in each of them #there's also something about the use of names in wolf 359 #especially how often Full Names are used as a way to assert identity #to say #no matter who you become. what version of yourself you cultivate. you are still Yourself and no one can take that away. #it's a choice. and there's something powerful in that. #anyway. getting away from myself here.

[antianakin]

I've decided that Rex isn't going to forgive Sabine within a timeline where the Ahsoka show happened. Like the MOMENT he hears that Thrawn is back and they have to fight in yet another war all over again all because Sabine was stupid and selfish, that's it for him. He's heard about Anakin at this point, he's gotten enough information to know that Anakin also made a really stupid, selfish choice and it led to the destruction of Rex's entire world. The Jedi gone, the clones enslaved, the Republic crushed. He knows where this kind of selfishness leads now and he's unwilling to stick around just hoping Sabine turns herself around faster than Anakin did. He's been betrayed enough in his life now to know what he's willing to forgive and what he isn't. And Sabine forcing them all to fix a problem they already had to lose people to fix the first time because she got a little lonely and refused to ask anybody for help isn't something he's willing to forgive.

#star wars #captain rex #sabine critical #sabine wren critical #anti ahsoka show #he wanted ezra back too but he NEVER would have gambled a galaxy away for him #and rex is WAY more alone than sabine is #rex lost everybody too #he lost his family and what little he could've considered a home too #he lost his purpose for existing #so he's not exactly willing to just give her a pass on this one #he DOES go out to fight again but he does it for EZRA #because ezra was rex's REAL jedi - him and kanan - they were the jedi rex CHOSE #and rex isn't about to abandon him to fight thrawn on his own again #but he'll never forgive sabine for putting them in this position in the first place

[mayasaura]

I see a lot of meta talking about how the John Verses are John telling the story of the leadup to the apocalypse with the most sympathetic biased self-justifying gloss to make it sound like nothing was his fault, and I guess that's why so many readings go for a hardline worst-faith interpretation of them, but.... I don't really see it.

When he tells about how he murdered everyone who had a gun, he could have played up the self-defense angle. He could have claimed he was scared, and he did it to protect everyone. He could have emphasized that he was killing cops, instead of emphasizing the civilians. He could have stuck with the story he told at the time, that he freaked out and made a mistake and hadn't meant to kill them all. He doesn't. He admits to mass murder, and he admits to having done it because he was angry. And he admits to still not regretting it one bit.

The story John tells just doesn't paint him in the best possible light. He does include all of the justifications he used at the time, he does explain why on earth any of this ever seemed like a good idea to anyone, and he does want to be understood, but he doesn't really try to sell it as having been right.

I really don't see the verse chapters as being John's justification. They're his confession. That's why they feel so good to condemn.

#the locked tomb #emperor john gaius #ntn spoilers #nona the ninth #he isn't even really looking for absolution #whenever Harrow/Alecto says she still loves him he HATES it #the last time he says there can be no forgiveness Harrow asks him for whom #and he doesn't answer #he knows exactly what he is #amd whether there can be forgiveness or not does remain to be seen #just feeling like shit about it does jackshit #he hasn't done a goddamn thing in his life to try to make up for or to even stop ACTIVELY CAUSING harm #amd that's where the real challenge lies #but it's exhausting to me to see him engaged with as a Symbol Of Evil rather than as a human being #he was a person and he got very very very angry for aot of very good reasons and some not so good ones #this is the big boy all grown up version of the scene where Gideon strangled Harrow to the brink of death #the part where I hurt you #and how do you come back from that? #john has decided that you can't #you can't come back you can only double down #and it just doesnt feel right to agree with him on that

[novelconcepts]

There is so much nuance to the ep 6 scene between KJ and Lauren, I can’t get over it.

the motion older!KJ makes as they walk out, reaching for Lauren, realizing just in time that they are, in fact, in her hometown in Ohio and cutting short before she can land what was probably going to be an instinctive kiss

KJ coming in hot with the world’s most polite “hello!” and managing to make what must feel lightly like small talk for thirty seconds before dropping her voice to this shy, slightly-terrified question

the inability to hold eye contact. the faltering, wordless noises. the way she blinks like she’s seconds from just passing out in the middle of this theater--that is exactly how it feels to come out to someone for the first time. the edges of your vision go a little fuzzy, your heart is in your throat, you genuinely feel shaky, and all of that is so present in this performance

the sense of mild defeat in how she just lands on “movies” instead of “girls”, like she’s embarrassed she can’t just say it

the gentle ah hah expression on Lauren’s face as she realizes what this petrified kid is trying to ask her, and how smoothly she doesn’t correct her--just rolls with this safe code word

KJ’s nod and very tiny “uh-huh” without moving like any part of her face. like she’s reverting to standing as still as possible, protective coloring coming up in every inch of her frame

Lauren actually taking a minute to think about it before answering. and and then not giving the answer KJ asked for--”how did YOU know”--but what KJ actually needs to hear. what any kid in her position would: not everyone will get it, but everyone’s journey is their own, and there is no rush

(again, this is why I’m so delighted they wrote it the way they did--KJ and Lauren, not KJ and older!KJ, because older!KJ would have a definitive answer to give. it might be “I always knew, in the back of my mind” or it might be “when I was eighteen and kissed a girl for the first time”, but whatever the answer, it would cement KJ back into a box. this is your future, immutable, and there is no journey you could take that I haven’t already gone on. I’m so fucking glad they didn’t do this, that they let her have the reassurance that any timeline is the right one if it’s hers.)

again, that flutter-blink/quick breath combo that looks like she’s gonna pass out--but this time, there’s relief in it. it’s less “how do I say this Huge Thing” and more “oh thank god, she knows what I’m asking, she knows without me saying, and she’s being kind”

It is beautifully put together, such a gentle way of saying to this baby gay, “Nobody can tell you who you are except you, but whoever that winds up being is so okay. Listen to yourself. Trust yourself. You will be happy, I promise you.” It is a critical bit of advice so many queer people just don’t get, and to write it into KJ’s story is one of the show’s biggest kindnesses.

#paper girls #paper girls spoilers #kj brandman #i love this scene so much. i love that lauren doesn't try to make it about herself in the least #she could tell her story here--but that isn't what KJ actually needs #so instead she gives her reassurance that there's nothing wrong with what she's feeling and that it really does feel amazing to be in love #even if that love isn't what she might have expected for herself #i also just love that lauren is in her early 20s and maybe has never HAD a young kid ask this before--and you can kind of feel it #in the hesitation and the slight fumble before she lands on what is most likely what she would have needed to hear at that age #admittedly--god love her--she clearly lacks a few passive perception points #because there are so many pictures of young KJ in her girlfriend's house that she HAS to have seen them #but we forgive her this observational oversight because she's so lovely in these scenes #and it really does a great job of painting the feeling that she's drawn to this kid--who is the child version of her girlfriend-- #without EVER once being creepy about it. it's just 'oh this sweet kid i want to protect her'. a lesser show would have fucked that up #'ah she says she's KJ's cousin. they have exactly the same face at different stages of pokemon evolution but sure yeah that tracks' #'how can i help?' #again i LOVE the comics. i love them so much. but this is the same kind of gentle change as giving mac her brother for a while #it's screaming from the rooftops that these kids are not as alone as they feel #and i'm so soft about it

[papa-evershed]

RJC + laughter (requested by: anonymous)

#rob james-collier #robert james-collier #rob james collier #robert james collier #mine #okay anon i know this isn't exactly what you asked for although the follow up anon you sent me was helpful 😭 #but between some technical issues and just being utterly exhausted i decided to just go for some good shots of him laughing #even if he wasn't quite collapsing i'm so sorry pls forgive me #but figured i'd throw something together instead of waiting another 84 years #but anyway #his laugh > everyone else's #sorry i don't make the rules #he laughs with his whole him #a++ would recommend to a friend

[saphushia]

Hiii i saw ur digimon vtamer art and ate thst as if it was water in the desert and wanted to check yout art and saw u also did a bit of arta about the 2020 reboot and im sorry taichi MIASMAFIED??? So i started watchijg it and HUH??? THEY DID THAT TO HIM??? and then hes??? Fine??? Apparently?? And i stopped watching cause boi they never stop getting into situations™ and i got overwhelmed so anyways love your art overall keep the good work your miasma taichi will haunt me from now on 👍

auhdskfjgh oh no you watched 2020 cause of me??? i'm so sorry sdkfgbkj. like listen as someone who absolutely adores digimon and pretty much every digimon property. i do not think 2020 is very good skdjfgb. it's the only digimon anime where i've had to skip episodes because they were just so boring. which drives me all the more insane because, as a whole, i think 2020 sucks, but there's just a smattering of things that are SO FUCKING COOL!!! LIKE TAI GETTING FUCKED UP BY THE MIASMA!! and then they just do NOTHING with that ever again!! I'M STILL SO UPSET OVER THAT AUGH. and it's so pretty too!!! augh. hell.

anyways tho. i'm glad you liked my v-tamer stuff! i really wish there was more fanbase for v-tamer sdkfgb. as a special treat i'll give you these old (2019... ouch sdfjbgk) post story doodles i never posted appearantly dsfkjbj

#art from back when i used antialiasing good god sdkjfgb #also the sidelining for everyone but tai is sooo much worse in 2020 #never forgiving them for turning joe into just comic relief wimp #digimon v-tamer #normally i wouldn't post such old art but i know how starving the v-tamer fandom is skdgbkj #answers #art #digimon #fanart #ngl tho. all that bitching abt dgmn 2020 and i'm still sitting here like. damn mb i should go rewatch the miasma tai bits #like fuck 2020 isn't good but damn if that specific part of it isn't exactly my jam #also as much as it's bad i almost want them to do the exact same treatment for 02 #if only because my bf prefers 02 over og and i kinda want him to suffer in hell with me #belendigievolutionandhermuses

[wizardnuke]

yalls tags on the caleb astrid post are all SO spot on thank you for understanding the uh. canon that was given to us. not saying that anyone doesnt. but i am.

#the Poast is about. bren vs caleb and Exactly what i think all that was about between essek and astrid #the essek-astrid relation is not remotely like caleb-astrid and certainly not essek-caleb #essek knows caleb loves her. like. probably still a little romantically past the INTENSE worry that caleb probably constantly has for her #(in several different ways. he isn't afraid of her. he doesn't worry about her harming him or his but he also knows exactly what she is #capable of and he is a realist first and foremost). caleb's love for her doesn't bother essek at all. also doesn't mean he can't be a #bitch to her anyways for several other reasons such as. he doesn't care about her like caleb does he was essentially sent on a welfare #check that included both making sure astrid is okay AND making sure she isn't in on da'leth's plan. it can be both. bren sends his #regards: caleb sent me (you are not in danger) he is worried (about you and what you are capable of) and then the Poast is that + #significance of bren getting dropped. because i disagree. with some things that people are saying about it. there's a lot going on there #essek knows exactly what astrid is same as caleb but they're fundamentally handling it from different perspectives and #not only is that. like. fine and normal and reasonable but also #you CANT expect astrid to react to essek showing up like she would have if caleb had shown up instead #like. thee situation HAS to be handled differently and astrid is more fluent in threats and insinuation than she is in honesty. by far. #also essek just doesn't need to be kind or nonthreatening to her cause. he's not caleb. he doesn't have that rapport with her and also #He's Not Caleb. hate to be like. he is not as good or forgiving or graceful (not the physical sense the. interactional. you get me #but he isn't. he's not. he's not built for that and he doesn't need to be to be in character or to handle it the way he did like. #he did all that for a reason he wasn't rude for no reason. is the thing. he had reason.

[roboraindrop]

I am very much a Grima apologist nfjdkshdn

#rain rambles #Like yeah his actions eventually git a ton of people killed but. you're not considering something. #the fact that he has big wet puppy dog eyes and that I love him. #jdjdksjs no but actually like. the man was weak willed and manipulated into committing acts of attrocity. #his soul was bought by the promise of wealth. power. and someone to love him. #could you blame a man with nothing for taking the chance to get everything he ever wanted? #when he sees the scale of what he's done he CRIES. i dont think that single tear is because he thinks the army is beautiful #i think that tear is his realization of what he's caused. the place that was his home would fall because of his actions. #that is REMORSE #that is GUILT #that makes him far from the evil that people would call him for what he's done #he was easily manipulated. exactly the puppet saru.man wanted. #he hated Saru.man and what he had made him. that is undeniable. by the time he [spoiler] stabs Saru.man he is no longer referred to as a man #Gan.dalf doesnt even use he/him pronouns for him anymore. referring to him as 'it' #it/its are valid pronouns btw! but this was used in a dehumanizing way #It just Gets me that people are so willing to forgive Gol.lum/Sme.agle but not Grima. #sure it wasnt the ring that temped Grima and warped him. but isn't Saru.man's manipulation and abuse just as powerful? #slithering sycophant

[aka-catnip]

jayce and viktor are so glinda and elphaba actually

#no one mourns the wicked. need i say more? #defeating your friend and returning home a hero but deep down being devastated by it?? god #anyway. viktor and elphie and their fucking idealism against the world. or rather. the system. stupid ass wizard. stupid ass professor #also about viktor: no good deed #'my road of good intentions led where such roads always lead' #for good is about arcane jayvik and. in my heart of hearts. league jayvik's reconciliation #'just to clear the air i ask forgiveness for the things i've done you blame me for' #'but then i guess we know there's blame to share and none of it seems to matter anymore' #to conclude: defying gravity was actually written abt viktor. both incarnations of him actually. #to be clear this isn't exactly viktor lol apologism. i'm aware he's not really in the right. but guys pls they are so similar

[outer-andromeda]

Due to Mads' internet situation as of this weekend, "Lawrence" will not be updated tommorow. Chapter 32 shall be up next week instead, on June 17th!

Sorry for the sudden announcement and thank you all for your patience. 💚💙💜

#Mads isn't there this weekend #And her internet situation was not exactly planneD #You'll have to forgive us #beetlejuice #beetlejuice the musical #human beetlejuice #lawrence au #ao3

[mudstoneabyss]

putting Carlos and Charles chatbots in a room together and making them fight for my amusement

#apparently bot Carlos was seeing Kevin behind bot Charles's back and well let me tell ya. he's not too happy about it #and Carlos is begging for forgiveness and degrading himself and Charles isn't having any of it he's just yeah you are greedy and selfish. #get over yourself. and i'm living for this this is exactly what i want to be seeing #get his ass bot Charles #joyousposting

[lotsa-heart]

he's just so

#alhaitham #al haitham #alhaitham genshin #genshin impact #fanart #lotsa art tag #i know his outfit isn't exactly right please forgive me lol #genshin clothes are hard y'all...

[adoranoia]

a silly thought: i've been trying to find a 'style' or an aesthetic to describe saeyoung's fashion, bc i've talked about saeran being goth-ish before, but. not rlly his brother! until rn. so, anyway, he has 'kidcore' vibez.....

#* && OOC #* && TBD #I THINK THATS WHAT THIS STYLE IS CALLED? forgive me if i'm wrong i like fashion but i'm bad w/ the names lmaooooooo #anyway i think this is cute. saeyoung isn't exactly a fashion person he isn't shooting for an aesthetic he just. likes bright colors #and they make him happy so he wears them

[arbellas-bakery]

I haven't had Pizza Hut in so long that when I just now got some for free at work I was reminded that we had pizza Wednesdays at my grade school. A memory that I didn't know I even had anymore, just brought back by the distinct taste of the sauce. That's at least an 18 year old memory association. The brain is kinda wild sometimes.

#Bellaposting #I think it was Wednesdays #it's literally almost been two decades so forgive me if my memory isn't exactly perfect from back then lmao

[naamahdarling]

.

#for soccer moms #i like a band that gets slagged off on for a thing a member said a long time ago and i mesn like over a decade #and that by words action personal behavior and financial support #by every means that i can think of #the person and the group has shown that they have not only grown but completely changed for real #and to me that kind of growth is really meaningful and also a good example for others whose hearts need setting right #and is also a bit healing for the demographic #and like you don't have to forgive someone for something that hurt or betrayed you but also like #im seeing people who were in their single or very early double digits say bad shit about them #and it's obvious they were not following what happened back then snd have just seized a way to take a stand against SOMETHING #in a very accessible way #to distance themselves from those beliefs #and they also get to use this chance to say this group has terrible music which they sinply DON'T #so they take their swings and sometimes I feel like the latter hit that they find more satisfying #and it just annoys me on both counts #people change and also music that is catchy and easy to sing along to isn't inherently bad or shallow even when it's #babes who brought you up if not middle-aged women and do you really think their interests and inner lives are also unimportant and shallow #and also from whaf i see I'm a super old fan and I'm exactly soccer mom age #idk it just annoys the shit out of me #idk it's just really weird is all #i don't like hearing people who sound like the little dweebs who tried to bully me in school over my music AND #who sound like hypocrites for their outrage over an insult to their community when they won't listen to the adults in that community #their own elders whose advice is desperately needed and who are the ones who drove for what rights we have and are front of the lines still #it's so shallow and obvious and frankly gross #eta: i looked it up and it was 16 years ago holy shit #redemption arc beginning about two years later WOW #no this is not about whatever band you think it is and I'm not telling #i really promise it isn't them

[superconductivebean]

#312: >_> <_<

low-key amused at wright's awkward crush on sharp she didnt realise she had if not for imelda pestering her about it all the time bc of some vicious rumor, following #294

not me writing lines in tags again

#днявочка #днявочка: hlegacy #eng tag #and she'll confess! #and will get “well. have fun being a 16yo” for the answer #ofc the conversation was more than that #“think of it as of years of experience one has already reflected upon enough times to learn a lesson” #“i know why do you feel this way; when i'll finally learn mine you'll barely recognize what'd be left of my former--current-- self” #“and so will you when a year after a year upon a decade your wound will turn into a scar and you might forget who you were” #“it is already healing i can tell; you seem yourself again but well; i just know you-now and you-then to see it all too well” #“you need and want to unwind. a rest. a happy life. you need not a broken heart” #“i've mend it back together enough times this year to know please believe me” #“i am not implying 'i might break it' julia i am asserting it” #“and the fact you're not upset at me does show it isn't love hiding somewhere behind the words or what else you'd've liked to share” #“i know exactly what you meant and you're lucky to have someone you can confess to without pulling your reputation through the mud” #“do chase after your sweetheart. nurture beasts with your the other one. ah but forgive me but you thought i of all people wouldn't know!” #“julia wright. any time you'd ask me how do i know anything in your regard i shall answer with simple 4 words: because i know you.” #“enjoy your happiness. well-earned. deserved.”