#investing insists

[thepoisonroom]

'I flirted with the idea that instead of being trans that I was just a cross-dresser (a quirk, I thought, that could be quietly folded into an otherwise average life) and that my dysphoria was sexual in nature, and sexual only. And if my feelings were only sexual, then, I wondered, perhaps I wasn’t actually trans.

I had read about a book called The Man Who Would Be Queen, by a Northwestern University professor who believed that transwomen who were attracted to women were really confused fetishists, they wanted to be women to satisfy an autogynephilia. And though I first read about this book in the context of its debunkment and disparagement, I thought about the electricity of slipping on those tights, zipping up those boots, and a stream of guilt followed. Maybe this professor was right, and maybe I was only a fetishist. Not trans, just a misguided boy.

About a year later, on the Internet, I come across a transwoman who added a unique message to the crowd refuting this professor. Oh, I wish I remember who this woman was, and I wish even more that I could do better than paraphrase her, but I remember her saying something like this: “Well, of course I feel sexy putting on women’s clothing and having a woman’s body. If you feel comfortable in your body for the first time, won’t that probably mean it’ll be the first time you feel comfortable, too, with delighting in your body as a sexual thing?”'

-Casey Plett, Consciousness

#this quote always moves me almost to tears when i remember it #i'm not a trans woman and i don't share the author's specific experiences with transition #but it really moves me that she frame transition as joyfully giving yourself permission to approach your body #not as something that has to be disciplined and deprived and made small in all these various ways #but as a means for experiencing pleasure and joy and delight and for insisting that our feelings and desires are worth #valuing and exploring and treasuring #i always used to think of prioritizing those things for myself as selfish and irresponsible #but who does it harm to want to experience pleasure in your own body? #it's such a beautifully simple and powerful switch to have flip in your head #and equally why are we forced to deny our own pleasure in transition and anything else related to our bodies in the name of moral rectitude #this is why i get so confused and pissed off when other trans people are fatphobic for example #like why are you so invested in politics of shame and disgust that never had any purpose other than #violently disciplining people as if they've violated moral codes by existing in a body #to say nothing of white people being racist in gay and trans communities #like again this system of violence is foundational to homophobia and transphobia #so why are you acting like it has nothing to do with you #even if you are unmoved by the urgency of other people's suffering which btw you should be moved by #what do you hope to gain by acting a collaborator and handmaiden to those systems #Casey Plett #she really is one of my favorite authors i wish more non-canadians read her #this quote is from a series of columns she did ont transition and every single one is a banger #i love when she talks about the people-pleasing elements of dysphoria and transition denial #she's so sharp about noting how many of us deny our own dysphoria on the grounds that others like and validate our bodies #that's how i always felt during my cis conventionally feminine era #it pleased other people so much and also that reception felt so hollow and joyless to me because i hated it #i get less of that positive feedback but that feels so unimportant next to the joy and pleasure i get to experience #said with the understanding that i'm very privileged in being able to prioritize those things without fear. but it was a switch flip #personal nonsense

[bumblingbabooshka]

Tuvok watching television for a full four hours with his arms crossed, frowning, and Chakotay right beside him watching it with his brows furrowed while leaning against the back of the couch. They are both standing behind the couch which is being fully taken up by Janeway, lying like this:

They are going to watch an entire season of television thusly.

#Chakotay & Janeway were watching and then Tuvok walked in and keeps insisting that he's not invested and going to leave soon #^ He does not leave. Nor does he sit down. #Chakotay walks into the room & Janeway's lying on the bed as pictured above. She's not trying to seduce him - that's #just how she chills. #Tuvok can't sit down while watching television or he'll fall asleep with his arms crossed #st voyager #chakotay/janeway/tuvok #Chakotay #Kathryn Janeway #Tuvok

[samarecharm]

My younger sister is playing the base p5

#chattin #i walked into the livingroom and saw the opening and nearly screamed #she said its bc she saw me play strikers and got curious #im so shocked; she would NOT have been able to play this game like 4 years ago #shes like. not very good on story heavy games. its too boring for her #but shes been watching a streamer play bg3 #and shes invested in the plot. and shes like huh! these ARE fun and engaging! #and she heard me and my mom talk about my moms dwindling attention span w Stories that arent spoonfed to her #so shes ALSO trying new games #i dunno. just very happy :) i get to see ryuji again! #shes been fun to watch. not to be that person but shes autistic (so am i) and very loud and excitable about plot twists n stuff #shes SO into it. also her first comment on ryuji was ‘thats me! i did the same thing w my suspenders :)’ so she liked him immediately LOL #the grind is also something nice for her bc she gets to watch her stream inbetween battles #i will say; the juggling of social stuff and shopping and fighting is ALOT for her. she left the palace to re up on magic #and she forgot to do ANYTHING; no weapons bought; no acessories or protectors; no items; no hangouts #and when i came back from my room (i noticed she had full magic) i asked if she did all that and she was like. shit. #she has to learn the hard way unfortunately #she is insistent on using all her magic; and so when she gets caught w strong enemies WITHOUT it shes like. uhoh. lunge it is. #shell learn

[foundationsofdecay]

oh no they really have iii's docs on sale right now

#tiny iii on my shoulder insisting i could use it as an office-appropriate shoe so it would be a good investment #the other shoulder has tiny vessel the first telling me to not wear any shoes bc who needs 'em but we are ignoring him on this one

[nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius]

No no I promise I fixate on the Bad Batch for perfectly normal reasons nothing is wrong with my family at all I had a great childhood i swear

#my mother never hit me and then insisted she didn't ten years later whilst loudly condemning anyone who hits their child #i was never emotionally manipulated and gaslit for 21 years of my life and counting #i was never raised solely as an investment to fund my mother #and treated like dirt on her shoe when i didn't want to follow the life she picked out for me #she never admitted to my face i'm an investment #i never had to sit on the stairs listening to my parents screaming at each other #i was never treated like i wasn't there #never unofficially banned from seeing my granddad for years as a kid and never not told the reason why #because my mother got jumpy about me getting just that little bit too close to him #closer than i was to her #never not allowed a phone till i was 18 #never told i wasn't allowed a bank account either #never had to fight to do the degree i wanted rather than something i knew for a fact would kill me #never had my laptop purged at 16 and every one of my private files gone through and deleted by my mother #because i wanted to write stories #never treated like i'd committed a crime for it #the one person in this fucking godforsaken family who was worth staying for never died #never homeschooled as a child and told to lie to anyone who asked that i went to school #just so she could keep me fully trapped under her thumb #nothing ever went wrong with my family #vent

[ilovereadingandstuff]

Just finish season 2 of Free!: Eternal Summer and...there's something on my mind.

Spoilers ahead!

While I can say season 2 in just as magical as season 1 because it develops other themes that hadn't been touched in the previous season like the last year for 3rd years students, the pursuit for a dream and what to do in the future, it also introduces new characters and a more-in-detph of Rin and Haru's pasts...There something that still bothering me since finishing episode 13: Haru and Rin's relationship.

And with this, I'm not gonna lie: I ship them. Like, damn, sorry, but they're the typical 'rivals to lovers' and 'childhood friends' that I like to watch on series...but the thing is that I don't see it in canon.

Rin's whole thing is kinda simple: He chose as a dream to be an olimpic professional swimmer to achieve the dream that his dad never could. He had a past childhood with Sousuke but they separated paths due to their different philosophy. Then he started Elementary or Junior High at Iwatobi, made friends with Makoto, Nagisa and especially with Haruka...then he moved to Australia, quit swimming because of hopelessness, then moved to Iwatobi again and reignited his passion for swimming because of the meaninful friendships he made by it (enphasis on Haru, because even HE HIMSELF make emphasis on that).

While, Haru's whole thing is that he had a childhood with Makoto, Nagisa and Rin (by the short time they spend together)...and while the whole first season recides heavely on RinHaru's relationship because of Rin's sorrow...I felt that Rin's presence on Haru's point of view was half-baked. Then, with season 2, I feel like TRULY RInHaru's whole dynamic is based on that rivarly that Rin created and... it's sooo one-sided!! like there is no reciprocity!!

Like, from Rin's perspective, Haru is a truly important person to him, to the point that EVEN Sousuke makes a point of it and spells it out to Haru!! But, from Haru's perspective, I feel like Rin does not make that much of an impact the same way that Haru for Rin has!! Like, the thing that shocks me the most is that, even after going to Australia for 2 days, share a bed, Rin introduced him to his home-stay family (who, by the way, did not hesitated to embarrased Rin on saying that he talked a lot about Haru when he was a kid) and by Rin's efforts, Haru finally discovered what his dream truly was...at that last moments at the final relay, when was Haru's time to show what was that that specifically made him love to be there...Makoto, Nagisa and Rei show up as his friends and team. They are one of the reasons of why Haru swims in the first place...while Rin never make an appareance not even once on that moment.

That scene completely shut me down the idea of Haru's reciprocity of feelings for Rin the way Rin feels for him. Like, after all that, when he finally explains what is his dream, his motives to it...his friends appear at his side except for Rin...for who Haru supposedly said before that he wanted to swim against...for who Haru gets inspired or motivated...who created, in the first place, the situation to Haru to discover his dream!!

Like...maybe it's just me that wanted to RinHaru be more canonical that it truly is...maybe i'm just getting started to the series and I haven't seen the important stuff yet...But either way, if that's how I see it is from the very beggining...what Rin is feeling about Haru, Haru does not share the same for Rin...or at least is not that of a big deal yet.

Also, I may be to delulu and obssess over rivals to lovers, but let's ignore that for a little while.

#rinharu #rin matsuoka #haruka nanase #free! anime #harurin #maybe i'm to insistent over rivals to lovers #but #Rin's side is HUGE #while Haru's side is so...off #I'm losing hope over the reciprocity #EVEN WITHOUT THE SHIPPING OR ROMANCE PART #even as a rivalry #I feel that Rin is more invested that Haru #Haru does not give a damn for that #truly sad for Rin in a way #sharkbait

[livlepretre]

I know it is Klaus and Elena story and i love the theme of FE but Stefan is my baby. Please make him fall out of Elena's love. After everything he has gone through in FE he can't seem to stop loving her. If stelena is not endgame l hope he falls out of her love and get free. It will break my heart if he gets the same treatment in this fic as he got in show. If he doesnt get endgame at least he should live long and happy :) :) :)

I love Stefan too 🖤

#but everyone's path has been set for a long time #absolutely nothing is going to change how the story ends for each character #too much foreshadowing and thematic meaning and character work has already been invested in how I have envisioned each of their arcs #i'm very proud of stefan's arc in fe #i love him #he was a character I did not expect to have such a large role but who INSISTED on it in the narrative #and it's been a gift #I won't spoil anyone's arc #all I have said and will say is that the endgame involves klena in some way #and that elena herself is going to have an ultimately happy ending #fairytale ending #anonymous

[queen-scribbles]

I started Nat in SoR and she is, of course, pretending to be a pirate, but I didn't think to change her outfit til after the first conversation with Quarah. So she was dressed like this when they landed

and I'm greatly enjoying the mental image of Felix dragging her in some shop to get a new outfit bc he's spent more time fighting around pirates than she has and no way are you convincing anyone you're a pirate captain dressed like that, Master Jedi. They don't come out until she's dressed more for blending in. It's surprisingly comfortable.

#queen in space #rhenata tavaari #i bought/unlocked the cybernetic pauldron armor for kazen and discovered it looks really good on her too #tho she insisted on keeping the juhani boots xD #if i felt like ''wasting'' the cartel coins i would've changed her hair just for here too #but i'm not that invested lol #swtor

[supercantaloupe]

american anti intellectualism CURED: tumblr user goes to see a rossini tragedy

#sasha speaks #didn't know there were student priced tickets until after i bought. boo #oh well i still got a discout. even if small #but if i'm going to keep insisting on buying myself the cheap seats in the nosebleeds #i should probably invest in some opera glasses at some point... #view here is good although this isn't a staged show so it's not like i Need it tonight haha #but even still my eyesight even with contacts is not something to brag about lol. i am COMICALLY nearsighted...

[jmrothwell]

The greater polyphantoms polycule + niche themed café au

The truth of the matter was, they all expected a bigger reaction from their loved ones when they announced their plans to open a fantasy tavern style cafe, none of them sure how to react when instead everyone they told simply glanced over all them and slowly relented, “yeah that makes sense.”

“If it wasn’t that it would have been some neon pastel candy shoppe,” Kayla had supplied when Carrie and Flynn had brought up their surprise over lunch, “but that seems too close to Luke’s hated diner job, and this way Carrie can live out that ‘secret dream’ of being a fairy princess.”

And while Carrie would never openly admit Kayla was right, she had to concede that combining all of their unique flair’s for the dramatic and flights of fancy really did make for quite the immersive themed cafe experience.

(Send me an AU and a pairing and I'll write a 3 sentence fic)

#really stretching the limits and definitions of a sentence #julie and the phantoms #The group wanted a cafe they would all happily work in #Not included: Willie realizing that Caleb being his foster dad had a much greater influence on him than he realized #Carrie 100% does go all in with costuming for when she is working #For most of the wait staff (and Luke ) the costuming is really simple bare bones renfaire type stuff #Willie and Reggie both invest in one of those fake dragon puppet arms so kids can meet and pet a baby dragon #Luke insisted on music and discovered the dwarf rock subgenre during this whole process along with some other niche genres that fit #Customers are greeted with a hearty and cheerful 'welcome traveler.'

[funstyle]

These kids dont know how bad it was. The girlies from adventure time canonically suck face now. Back in my day they just had a mysterious tension that alluded to something deeper and more painful, something manifesting in fanart that made you angry and you didn't know why

#i was going to war on the gaia online adventure time forum. i was really emotionally invested in insisting they Werent Gay #and at some point i had to be like well why is the gay thing making me so mad. WELL

[welcometogrouchland]

What if I proposed the analysis that Belos actually has very little internal moral compass and that his veneer of righteousness has always been implied by the writers to be complete fabricated bullshit even before watching and dreaming basically confirms it.

#ramblings of a lunatic #^shes going in drafts untagged bc a) philip stans who insist on the morally misguided angle terrify me in their persistence #and b) i would have to actually rewatch episodes and whatnot #but i think i can build credence to the idea that him and caleb started off not invested in witch hunting for moral righteousness #but numb to it via cultural normalisation and THUS. had an amoral approach to the whole thing #and the only thing either of them as orphan outsiders ever really would've gained from witch hunting would've been careers and recognition #a sense that they're heroes- not in the moral sense but in the narrative sense. that they were protagonists #The Most Important Boys so to speak #the difference being Caleb at some point decided witch hunting was wrong (i.e like hunter did. grew a moral compass) #and philip still navigated the world amorally 400 years later only motivated by a petty grudge and deep buried guilt #the latter of which is nearly irrelevant to anyone who isn't philip bc clearly he priorities that grudge above it #this is just a personal petty opinion #but i honestly don't think the 'delusional and petty' angle is any less complex than the 'moral crusader' angle w/ his character #and it matches the whole 'hes a magic conservative' message way better than his motives being genuine #one day I'll rewatch that scene in WaD and see if Philip fans are onto something and I've been drinking the pond water #or if it's actually congruent with his character like I've since come to see it and like i know many saw it the first time round #anyway this is actually all for me. in drafts you go #edit: hi. it's the ladel of like. 3 weeks after i made this and put it in drafts. it's nearly 1 am rn and- in my delirium- #i have decided to publish it #i doubt it'll do much w/ regards to response bc fandom has been on the quiet side lately (tho that can always change( #plus I made a similar post insinuating the same notion and it got ZERO traction positive or negative #which tells me I'm good to just say shit for the most part (in a good natured way) #anyway. hits post cutely (i am so fucking tired)

[scur-vee]

people complaining about catalysts voice being 'annoying' and 'too nasally' and 'awful' when I know for a fuckin fact if she wasn't trans/revealed to be trans so early on the same wouldn't be being said about her

#apex legends #the amount of transphobia ive seen towards her is disgusting and thats just on youtube #if you think a game is going to shit because a fictional character is trans/nonbinary/lgbtqia+ you need to reevaluate your fucking life #ive had so many arguments with people in comments today #including one where they kept insisting catalyst was a man but were incredibly supportive and invested in fusehound #which btw can we talk about that one fusehound voiceline. gross

[iguessitsjustme]

I don’t know who needs to hear this but your faves aren’t dating, they’re performing and that’s okay

#just remembering the discourse from last week #some of y’all buy into the act way too much #if it’s to the point that you are harassing others even if those people are strangers online #you’re too invested #it’s a very nuanced topic with a lot of discussion to be had #but that’s what my thoughts basically boil down too #y’all don’t know these people #you know their personas #you don’t know their life so please stop speaking for them about who they’re dating and whatnot #let them do their performance #enjoy it even #but don’t insist that it’s real cause it’s not #and it’s harmful to the actors and to yourselves to assume it is #anyway I’m going to work but had to get these thoughts out first #I may or may not end up being late we’re about to find out

[maeamian]

I'll scream my little head off about this forever, but any post still mad about the 2016 election fundamentally needs to note that we fucking outright won that one for the email lady except that our allegedly democratic system of government does not award the supreme executive role to the person with the most votes. As much harm as Trump and did and is still doing, the people to blame aren't the marginal voters who didn't like their choices it's the fuckers who built the electoral college and senate, we need serious systemic changes to our voting to undo the damage, which is a lot harder of a fix than yelling at people about how they didn't vote enough when so many of us fucking did but live in a fundamentally undemocratic system that doesn't reward the winner of the vote with the office they were running for.

#If your takeaway was 'some people weren't enthusiastic about an objectively unimpressive candidate' that's fair #But if you then want to insist *that* and not fundamental problems with the system are why it went bad #IDK what to tell you learn more about how American politics works. #The electoral college is a fundamental problem and couldn't even do the one fucking thing people who excused its existence said it'd do #If it were an actual democratic protection they could've defected to the popular vote winner instead of the obviously fascist jackass #But it's obviously not designed as a protection for people who aren't deeply invested in the status quo #Fail country with cringe electoral systems. #Voting is a basic buy-in but like... maybe google disinfranchisment before being sure you're aiming your rage correctly on this one #Most of the states we lost it on engaged in that at margins easily enough to swing the fucking thing #It just rings a lot like Joe Biden's advice to out-organize voter suppression and I don't take kindly to it #I'm not saying don't be mad that election was a fundamental betrayal of the people of this country and should be treated as such #But you can't make it about the voters without acknowledging the system the voters were voting in #At least not if you want me to think of you as a serious person making as serious argument about American politics #But Jareth weren't you all in on Voting these past few months for the CA primaries? #Yes I think voting is good and important and that's why I think that the system should be set up to reflect the results of votes taken #Rather than the one we've got now. #Which does not meaningfully reflect the will of the voters in any way shape or form #Also CA's system is much fairer on the whole

[courtney-deserved-better]

i think if my child self could see my involvement in the td fandom now they would combust from excitement. but also be really confused about why i have so many gay ships

#i fucking loved duncney/gwent/dott/nemma/gidgette as a kid #but i was also really invested in gwourtney and insisted that i shipped them platonically! theyre just really good friends guys! #despite planning out a whole fic where they lived together and raised a child together