#in which I edit old work and rey's loneliness makes me sad lol

[pacificwanderer]

Editing old work so that I can finish some shit and have come to realize that I identify with Rey a hell of a lot more than I realized. I mean, I always loved her character but (and others have gone over this at length) I do think that sometimes her character traits kind of get glossed over or are left unrecognized or, at worst, are misinterpreted because she often seems so plucky. 

I think with her, Fi//nn, and Ben, there’s this kind of deep loneliness and aching for belonging, for friendship, for love and compassion, even while they hold a piece of themselves back (Rey wanting to go back to Jakku to the only life she’s known, Fi//nn looking for a way to keep his friend/himself safe from the impending threat of the FO, Ben looking for belonging/a way to feel normal in all the wrong places) and it just kind of breaks my heart how well they’ve nailed what loneliness feels like.

And how it looks like in three very different characters. It’s an emotion that gets glossed over in favor of more vibrant traits (anger, lust, happiness, whatever), but so much of life, for so many people, is so lonely.

Loneliness is an often quiet sort of sadness. It’s “easier” to be lonely, in some ways, than it is to get hurt--again. Rejection, loss, death, it’s all so painful.

Better to be lonely than to experience that pain again. Making connections is hard. Keeping them is even harder. Letting people in can be terrifying for some because you’re purposefully opening yourself up to possible rejection (that throne room proposal scene. O U C H).

I really think TLJ hits on so many quiet, painful moments so beautifully and, for me, I think this is why the movie hit so hard. Obviously, this isn’t the only interpretation and people are welcome, as ever, to their own interpretations and opinions (and if this movie didn’t resonate in this way, of course, that is just fine--that’s what is fun about cinema, people can take and leave what they want), but for me, this movie really cut deep.

So I’ll be very interested to see what happens next for these three characters. I hope these quiet moments continue into EPIX, because I’ve really enjoyed them. I hope that the resolution shows that opening yourself up can be beneficial, even if the potential for pain is still there. And I’m sure we’ll see them grow even further and I hope that they all get the happy endings they deserve (I think they will).

#this is kind of depressing lol #sorry #long post #ramblings #loneliness #the st #in which I edit old work and rey's loneliness makes me sad lol