#in a pinterest board for my OC I had actually saved a snape fanart without realizing that it was snape

[vsilas]

Do I love Severus Snape, the character from the HP series, with all my heart? Yes.

Have some of my artistic endeavors and most of my headcanons featuring him gone completely off the fucking rails to the point where I should just create original characters and stories for all my bs? Also yes.

(But is it not the very point of transformative work to explore things outside of canon in order to engage with its themes on our own terms? Perhaps my feelings about my fan work being an inadequate outlet are actually the tension between my fear of producing wholly original work without any outside demands to constrain me, the false (but hard-to-shake) belief that fandom is infantile and therefore my work here has no actual value, and my discomfort with being a fan of HP despite its many problems.

Will I keep using Severus Snape as my muse because I have found a sense of community in the Snapedom and I just feel like it right now? You betcha.

#okay but in the year before I joined the snapedom I was actually developing an OC #he was a depressed genderqueer professor #he had issues around questions of authority and respectability #sounds like anyone familiar? #at that point I had all but forgotten that snape exists #in a pinterest board for my OC I had actually saved a snape fanart without realizing that it was snape #all I want to say is that I was drawn to snape for a reason #the reason being that I see things in his character that resonate with me #things that I’ve been wanting to create something about for a long time #but creating original work is scary #it’s all uncharted territory #existing characters in fandom are malleable to an extent #and they give stability to an anxious mind #anyway I love canon snape I really do #but I think I’m searching for something else in him too #I don’t think I’m alone in this experience #okay I’ll stop rambling now #late night fandom thoughts #snapedom