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solomonish · 3 years

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My Personal Simeon Fall AU Headcanons

These are within the same realm of this fic - and it is intended as a Simeon x MC universe! These HCs will focus on his time in the Devildom rather than why he fell, but maybe that information will come eventually...

*some things regarding this war I keep mentioning may not be entirely clear - still working on that! However, I’ll try not to put out too much contradicting information, hehe!

WARNING: some angst, brief mention/implication of torture. forcibly removed memories.

First Days

He came to the devildom in a blaze, much like the brothers did, hurtling down like a shooting star. At the core, encasing him as his wings charred to soot, was a brilliant light blue, rimmed by a dazzling white and platinum gold. At his impact site, parts of the dirt and stone have crystallized in the same colors. The site is still roped off for investigation.

He fell, acting as a white flag for both sides to signal the end of a war very few people knew was raging. The impact sent the last of his holy energy into the surrounding area, and demons near the sight complained of itching and general irritation for weeks after.

The only people at the site who looked into his eyes when he struggled to get up were you, Diavolo, Barbatos, Lucifer, and Solomon. A few curious Devildom citizens were scattered about, too, but Diavolo's authoritative vibe kept them too far to see anything.

Diavolo and Barbtos kept him in one room in the castle as he adjusted to the sudden demonic energy inside him and learned to contain his wrath. You were allowed to see him, but only if supervised by Barbatos or Diavolo in case Simeon tried to hurt you.

He was despondent most of the time, sitting curled up and stiff in the middle of the bed that looked untouched. He spent days without sleep, simmering with rage. You never found out if he bottled it up or if he destroyed the room but Barbatos put it back together before you appeared.

(You might not ever learn that some of the methods Diavolo and Barbatos used to bring his memories back were...extreme. They had no intentions of torture or pain, but they desperately wanted to get to them if they could. That’s where his anger was used up - as he screamed out in agony, either from the extraction method or the feeling of having lost everything yet not quite grasping what that meant.)

Satan suggested books and sent some of his personal collection that helped him gather himself when he was created. Diavolo and Barbatos tried to jog his memories, both for personal reasons and to get information on the Celestial realm, but that was exactly why they were gone. His memories had been magically extracted, but haste made him forget most everything instead of just sensitive information regarding the realm.

Eventually, he was free to roam the garden and some hallways, and when Diavolo and Barbatos concluded that regaining his memories was impossible, he was housed.

Power & Standing

He was a powerful angel, so he is a powerful demon, yet not quite as powerful as the brothers.

Simeon, for the majority of the war, was fighting on the side of the Celestial Realm, so he's generally disliked among the citizens of the Devildom. Our cast are all weary around him for multiple reasons - aside from Satan, Beel, Solomon, and MC (obviously).

He isn't an official member of any student council or governing body, nor does he really have a final say in anything, but he does frequently act as an advisor of sorts. He tends to work with Barbatos on that front, discussing in the background anything that might need discussed or worked on separate from the brothers.

Simeon is a wrath demon, though the change in his temper is hardly noticeable at first. He resembles Lucifer in how strict he is, mostly when he is in charge of something, and his anger that releases when he isn't listened to mimics Satan's.

If they are near each other and angry about the same thing, Satan and Simeon can actually feed off of the other's anger and boost their power. Satan does NOT need the boost, but you bet he brings chaos and destruction tenfold is he has it. For Simeon, though, it practically puts him on par with some of the brothers, if only for a short while.

Socially, he is generally ignored, and nobody runs away from him if he initiates conversation - but he doesn't. Simeon turns into a bit of a loner, a large chunk of his personality and memories gone and replaced with anger.

He's still learning how to deal with it.

His demon form consists of black deer-like antlers (not small but just small enough to avoid being entirely cumbersome) and long wings with bone-tipped feathers. His wings are almost always folded against his back and hanging low, the dangling feathers reminiscent of his angelic cloak with the golden charms. He does have a little black deer tail but doesn't like it being commented on.

(Don't worry about aerodynamics or which animal he represents, it's a magical universe its fine uwu)

General Information

He lives in modest home on the outskirts of the Devildom, somewhat close to the castle in case there's some type of emergency that needs to be taken care of but not so close he gets a super nice house and causes some social uproar. He has a small yard and a garden he tends to meticulously.

I imagine the house as a sort of townhouse (although not a for real townhouse because its it's own thing), two stories tall. The downstairs has a small living room, kitchen and bathroom while the entire upstairs is an open bedroom/office type deal. It gives off a gothic cottage type of vibe. No idea if this is helpful so maybe one day I'll build it in the sims.

He keeps his house tidy but has many bookshelves filled with equal parts books and knickknacks.

As stated before, he is a wrath demon, and because of his memories being almost entirely erased, he had a similar fall and adjustment period as Satan. Also, as a writer, he has an intrinsic appreciation for books. He and Satan get along the most out of all the brothers - the fact that Lucifer has mixed (mostly negative)(?) feelings about Simeon makes the deal sweeter for Satan.

Beel doesn’t dislike him, and while he doesn’t trust Simeon yet he’s willing to see if Simeon is on their side now considering none of his family got hurt. Solomon still trusts him though, but he does get a little downtrodden when he has memories that Simeon doesn’t.

When angry, Simeon smiles sweetly but his voice turns dead cold. Whereas Satan goes feral and seeks destruction like a bomb, Simeon feels more like a sniper rifle that needs careful aim and precision with just as devastating consequences. Shouting and immediate carnage are rare and only come after a severe transgression.

Otherwise, Simeon allows himself to be more playful than before. He doesn’t exactly have snide remarks, but he is an expert at stating the truth in a way that feels like a blade cutting through your confidence.

In true "flaunt what ya got without really making it seem purposeful" Simeon fashion, he wears button-down shirts that are almost entirely unbuttoned. They are always patterned and funky, and he wears them tucked into black pants. I'm thinking something like this (he also has patterns that are more "groovy" than vacation)

Will also occasionally sport a deep v like this

He still acts just as naive and confused if you bring up how exposed he is to him, so its best just to suffer in silence.

When making a pact with MC, he makes sure the mark covers a scar he left and doesn't remember from the war on your shoulder. It feels like a longer-lasting apology.

He still calls you "little lamb," but instead of smiling gently at you like a loving shepherd, his smiles look like a predator baring his fangs at his prey. In a sweet way. In a hot way.

What Does He Remember?

At first, nothing. Demonic instinct claws at him and he lashes out at everyone and everything.

He is still a nightmare with technology. Nobody knows if this is residual from how he was before, a result of his memories being taken, or just a trick.

Occasionally, he’ll remember an inside joke, but only halfway. You’ll say something you don’t realize is from before, and he’ll laugh, almost like an impulse. But then his laugh trails off and he gets contemplative, wondering what, exactly, was so funny about it.

The brightness of the Celestial Realm is hard to forget. The rainbow framing the palace and vast fields appear in dreams. He never remembers anything ‘important,’ but it’s enough to remind him that he was discarded.

The Celestial War hasn’t gone away, not in its entirety. There are certain things like battle strategies that he can’t for the life of him conjure up in his mind, but he remembers the bulk of it. It helps him realize why some of the brothers were/are so aloof towards him - nothing was ever as simple as he thought it once to be. Fighting a losing battle isn’t a choice you make when its for love - its simply the only path available.

(Apologies are so, so hard to dish out when you can’t remember most of your transgressions, though.)

He remembers Luke and will worry himself to inconsolable tears at night just thinking about him. Those thrown away don’t get the privilege of knowing what happens to their friends - and even if he did, Simeon wouldn't be so stupid as to put a target on Luke's back by proving that he was still important to him.

But he can only remember Luke's terrified, teary eyes when he realized Simeon was going to turn on the Celestial Realm in the middle of a war, and how he pleaded with Simeon not to. Luke asked what he would do all by himself, and Simeon hopes to his Father for only one thing - that he figured it out.

This is his sore spot. Nobody is allowed to be privy to these thoughts, not even you. But some days he comes to RAD looking worse for wear and you KNOW something is bothering him. He'll just never tell you what.

#obey me #obey me simeon #obey me shall we date #obey me swd #swd obey me #swd simeon #simeon x reader #simeon fall au #mine #simeon #simeon x mc

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koreanmadeingreece · 5 years

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Let me (go)

Chanyeol headcanon #4

Word count: 7k

Warnings: (none of them are with Chanyeol, he only has consensual sex) Abusive relationship, rape, emotional manipulation, violence.

Summary: It was a horrible experience. It was something you wanted to erase from your memory, something that didn’t let you move. It smothered you. And then you met Chanyeol.

A/N: Hey! This is based off a personal experience (My experience was way less frightening. I’m exaggerating here. But all the emotions are the same.) so I’d appreciate it if you were considerate with my story. I just want to let this go and move on, so I thought I had to post it. Thanks for reading!

You never learned how to say no. Everything happened one night at your friend’s house, where no one would suspect a thing. It was always a huge crush on your side. And he seemed to have feelings towards you as well, or at least that’s what your friend told you. And she was right, because he did.

That night, the others were outside. All of your friends were having fun at the yard, when you decided to approach him. You took him aside for a walk, and he led you inside the house, at a room that no one would visit for the next hour. And that’s where it happened.

You clearly remember the couch you were on. The couch where he quickly came on top of you at the first chance he got, taking his and your clothes off. Was it too fast? You didn’t know, but you followed his lead. He was your friend, after all. You could trust him, right? Soon enough, his hands were touching your entire body, in places you couldn’t imagine being touched. Not yet, at least. Everything was happening too fast.

It hurt. It was your first time, with a man who only thought about how to please himself, tearing you to pieces in the process. You remember your friends shouting your name, as you had been gone for too long. You wanted to leave, but how? You couldn’t speak. So, there you stood, completely naked in front of him, feeling ashamed for letting this happen. You were weak.

It was one of those situations where you knew that you were under his control, no matter what you did. And you couldn’t understand how. Maybe it was the fear that you weren’t normal, maybe that your friends had a love story to tell and you felt ashamed that yours wasn’t quite like that. So you hid it. Well enough for it to stay unnoticed for as long as you needed to. Because it went on and on and on, until you had to stop, until you couldn’t take it anymore, until your body hurt every time anyone touched you. The pain he had caused you to feel every time someone came close to you was something you couldn’t handle.

Two years later, you had your own house. You also had a roommate, a job and you were staying away from home. But you barely had any social life. Sometimes you liked going out with your roommate, but whenever she mentioned that other people would be with her as well, you always found an excuse to turn her down, or leave early.

Because you knew. You knew that you would meet people and that they would want to meet you too. And they would also want to flirt with you, or even just casually get closer to you, but you wouldn’t be able to give anything back. Not after that.

So, you just preferred to stay at home during your free time. You loved to read and sometimes write, so that’s what you always did. You had also cut all contact to most of your friends back home, so that you could be free of guilt. Free of feeling like you owed something to others, just as you felt with him.

Just as you were reading a new book you had bought a few days ago, you heard keys on the door.

“I’m home,” Violet shouted. She was an extremely cheerful person, but her presence was always too vibrant for you to handle. She had to make herself known around the house, which meant that she would either be singing or showing you videos and pictures of her favorite things. But you liked that. As much as you wanted a peaceful life, she was giving you a chance to enjoy something besides books.

“Awesome,” you replied, but your voice didn’t show any enthusiasm at all, almost as if you didn’t realize what you had just said. You were lost in your thoughts, until she decided to burst into your room.

“Okay, I know you’re not doing anything tonight, our exams are over and you’re not feeling sick. You have no excuse. Get dressed, we’re going out. It’s just coffee, don’t worry.”

“Huh?”

“Don’t ask, just come.”

“What are you up to today?” He called. Just like he always did on weekends. He knew that you were overwhelmed with classes on weekdays, and that you couldn’t say no on weekends.

“Nothing, really.” You always told the truth, but, when you really didn’t want to see him, your excuses were limitless. “I just have too many things to study, so I’ll stay at home today.”

“Oh, come on! You can’t even take two hours to see me? Really? I guess I’m not as important as you said I was.” His voice on the other end of the line had this sound that always made you obey.

“I guess I could come over for a couple of hours. But, after that I have to visit my grandma. I told her I’d come by at eight.” The only thing you could do at the time was to set a time limit. You always managed to get yourself out of it by showing him that if you didn’t leave at a specific time, someone would look for you. You needed that kind of insurance, because you knew you couldn’t say no.

“Don’t ask, just come.”

Wearing a simple pair of jeans and a black hoodie, you followed Violet around town. She took you to a quiet coffee shop that, even though it was in the middle of Seoul, seemed to you as if it was far away from the entire world.

As you walked inside the shop, you sat down at a corner table and ordered. Violet liked taking you to places where you would see people, but not too many. She knew exactly what to do to make you relax a bit. She also knew that too many people drowned you. She had seen you have panic attacks, so she always wanted to take you to places where you could see people, but not touch them. And you were grateful.

Everything was pretty peaceful, until you decided to use the bathroom. You washed your hands and enjoyed the calmness you had for a minute and then opened the door, bumping into someone and spilling the coffee that he had in hand.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!”

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it.” He seemed friendly. Not mad at least.

“Come with me, I’ll buy you a new one,” you offered.

“You don’t need to, really. These things happen!” He smiled. He had a really warm smile. Soothing, in a way. “Now that we’ve spoken because of your carelessness, what’s your name? I guess that’s what it’ll take for me to let you off the hook.”

“I’m Y/N.” You smiled. “And, what’s yours? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you somewhere before, but I can’t remember exactly where.”

“I’m Chanyeol. You might know me from the K-Pop group EXO, if that rings a bell.”

“Ah, right. My roommate has shown me a few songs of your group. I guess that’s why I’ve seen you. I don’t really listen to a lot of music and I don’t search for new groups. I prefer silence, to be honest.”

“I see. That’s interesting. It’s not common to see people who enjoy silence.” He paused for a second. “So, are you here with someone?”

You didn’t want to answer. He was a great person, but no. Not that day. You weren’t going to do this. Not in a million years.

“Um, I’m here with my roommate, Violet. She’s sitting right there.” You showed him the table.

“Do you mind if I come with you guys for a few minutes? I have some time to spare and I’d like to spend it with you if possible.”

“Sure.” He was too straightforward. But, what would you do? You spilled his coffee after all.

The next five minutes were the worst you could possibly get. Violet couldn’t keep herself from screaming when she realized that the stranger you just brought to your table was Park Chanyeol, which made the entire situation even more embarrassing. But, what happened next was even worse.

“Guys, I’m sorry but I got a text from a friend and he needs me. I have to go,” Violet said and pulled you aside. “Will you be okay? He seems cool. Besides, he has to leave in a few minutes so you won’t even have to think about an excuse.”

“Fine,” you told her and returned to the table.

“So, you know what I do. What about you?” he asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, are you a student? Do you work? What do you like to do?” He always smiled when he spoke to you. It was quite obvious even for you to notice.

“Um, not much. I’m studying to be a translator and I work at home, doing several translations that help me live and also learn more about my subject. And I like to read and write.” You replied almost mechanically. You tried to make this as impersonal as you could.

“Awesome. What do you like to write about?”

“Mostly my thoughts. Nothing special.”

“But they’re your thoughts. They have to be special.”

“Not my thoughts.” You were starting to think that what you were saying was too much. You were about to discuss with a stranger about your life, when you couldn’t come in terms with it yourself. What made you comfortable though was that he was famous. He would probably greet you in a few minutes and you’d never see him again. So, you had nothing to worry about.

“I’m pretty sure that your thoughts are special. But, unfortunately, I have to go.” It was just as you thought, until… “Could you give me your number? I’ll give you mine as well. I’d love to continue this conversation.” Fuck. This wasn’t happening. You weren’t ready for it. Not yet. Not yet.

“I’ll order for you. Two espresso, please.” He refused to let you do things on your own, especially when you were outside. He would order for you, pay for you and constantly have his eyes all over you, not letting you leave his sight for a single minute. And his hands, god, his hands… You could still feel them all over your body. It didn’t matter if you were outside or at home. To him, you were an object he could touch at all times, no restrictions. You were never okay with this. Everything happened by force, as you were against this kind of behavior, at least when you were in public.

This didn’t end with just yourself. If it was just you, it would be better. But no, not him. It wasn’t enough for him to control only you. And you understood that the first time he was about to beat someone up because he glanced at you. Nothing excessive, just a glance. But you were afraid, since he always carried a knife with him. It was only a matter of time before he really used it because of him. So, when he seemed like he wanted to harm someone, you always tried to get his attention. And that was how he first hit you.

“That’s what you get for making strangers look at you. It’s your fault that he asked for your number, not anybody else’s.”

“Hello, Y/N? If you can’t give me your number, it’s fine. I’ll just give you mine and hope you call me, okay?” He smiled. You were starting to enjoy his smile.

“I can’t accept that. It’s not fair if you don’t have my number and I do, so I won’t take it.”

“I know, but I want you to have it. And you must have a reason why you won’t give me yours but you have no reason not to take mine. Just don’t call me if you don’t want to, although I really hope you will.” He looked at you for permission to take your phone and type his number. Then, he got up as soon as he realized what time it was and greeted you.

“I hope I’ll see you again, Y/N.”

You stayed at home for the next few days. You had some work to get done and Violet stayed at her boyfriend’s house for a couple of nights, so you had the place to yourself. The next day you wanted to call a friend from your hometown and, scrolling through your contacts you found his name͘ “Chanyeol” with a smiley face. That’s how he had saved it. What a dork he was…

Two days later and after too much work, you heard the keys on the door. But, instead of her familiar declaration of presence, Violet had something different to say.

“Guess who I meet at the coffee shop today!” she shouted, bursting into your room.

“Uh…”

“Chanyeol! And he was asking about you. He also said that you didn’t give him your number, so I just offered to give it to him. Isn’t it awesome?” She knew pretty well what she had done. You could see it in her face that she did. You didn’t like it at all though.

“What have you done? I didn’t give it to him on purpose! He wasn’t supposed to talk to me again!” And then your phone rang.

“Hey, it’s Chanyeol. I’m sorry for calling, but your friend was quite willing to give me your number.” That voice…

“Hello.” You couldn’t breathe.

“Um, I was wondering when you’re going to get coffee again from that place, so that I could randomly pass by and meet you again, since you won’t call me.” He sounded nervous, which made the conversation more awkward than it already was.

“To be honest, I’ve only been there once. The day we met…”

“Oh.”

“But I guess the coffee there was really nice so I may or may not stop by this afternoon around 6?”

“Are you asking?” He laughed, knowing full well that what was going on was the most childish thing he’d ever done.

“No, I’m thinking. Yup, that’s it. Around 6.” Violet was trying not to laugh too hard by what was going on. That was the only thing you could do though, so she didn’t protest at all.

“Great. I’ll randomly see you at 6.”

“You’re late, baby.” Those were the first words that came out of his mouth when he saw you.

“I’m sorry, the traffic was terrible and the bus got delayed.”

“Let’s say you’re okay this time, but I expect you not to do this again.” He pulled you closer and kissed your cheek. He did that sometimes. Those rare moments of calmness were one reason why you stayed with him. You were actually in love with him, and those random moments were what reminded that feeling to you. But, they weren’t enough to make you stay. What actually held you back was the shame.

Shame, yes. Shame for not feeling the way you were supposed to. Shame, because your first big relationship was painful and abusive. How would you explain that? You didn’t know what to do, and that’s why you stayed with him. You didn’t know what would come next. He gave you a kind of insurance that you wouldn’t be left alone in our world that most people only thought of themselves. Sometimes you have to back down, you thought. But you didn’t know that what you were giving up was already too much. His hands touching you at every chance he could get, that was the worst part. You were never a couple. You were his sex toy that he would occasionally present as his girlfriend only for the eyes of the world. But you didn’t know. So you just stayed, and stayed, and…

No matter how hard Violet tried to tell you what to wear, you wouldn’t get out of your blue jeans and white sweater. You were just going for coffee, nothing more. And that’s when it hit you. Your breath was unstable, as if the air you got wasn’t enough for your body. Your heart was beating too fast, and the world was spinning around you. You couldn’t see. The people on the sidewalk were too close. Too close… You stopped aside, taking your earbuds out of your back pack just to listen to music and distance yourself from your surroundings, when you noticed a familiar face staring at you.

“Hey! Wanna go inside?” That’s right. You were almost at your destination and Chanyeol was coming to find you. Or, he just did. You opened your month to speak but nothing was coming out.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

“Can we walk for a few minutes?” So you ended up walking side by side, in silence, until you were ready to break it.

“I’m sorry. I could explain, but this isn’t a story you tell when you first meet someone.” You sighed. “In fact, this isn’t a story to tell at all.”

“Don’t be sorry. We got to walk together and I’m excited it finally happened, even under the weirdest circumstances.” He chuckled.

“Chanyeol, why did you call me?” You stopped walking and turned around to face him.

“I wanted to know you better, so why not? In fact, I’ve been getting too many coffees from that place recently, in case you showed up. Well, that was weird. I shouldn’t have said that.” He looked away and frowned.

“I thought it was sweet. But it’s something you shouldn’t have done, for your own good. I’m not the person you need.” Your eyes started to wander.

“How do you know that?” He smiled.

“I just do.”

“Well, is it okay if I try to find out on my own? I want to take that risk.”

“Be my guest. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Fine.” He sighed. “Now let me buy you that goddamn coffee.”

Your day with Chanyeol was much better than expected. The conversations you had were quite interesting and had a nice flow, even though both of you were extremely nervous. But, this could be it. It was probably going to be a disaster and you knew it. You hadn’t been able to go out with anyone since him. There were people who you liked. And they sometimes liked you back. But, moving on wasn’t an easy thing to do, especially with someone who didn’t have time to spare on nonsense. He didn’t have the time you needed, so it was a one-way road for you. Until…

To Y/N: Hey. I had fun today. What are you doing tomorrow?

To Chanyeol: I have a feeling that if I say nothing, then I’ll definitely have plans.

To Y/N: Exactly. See you around 8pm? I’ll be waiting outside the coffee shop, but we’re not going for coffee this time.

To Chanyeol: Sure.

To Y/N: And don’t think about it too much.

You didn’t send back. You didn’t know how to reply to that. Did he know anything? Had Violet warned him about you, or was he simply that good at reading people? When he had seen you staring at the void in the middle of a busy street in Seoul a few hours earlier, so it shouldn’t have been too hard to understand that something was off, especially since you had that conversation. But, you weren’t going to think about that any longer. You had bigger issues to deal with and one of them was the reason why you kept saying yes to Chanyeol when he wanted to go out with you. The stress was unbearable, your whole body ached when you went there to meet him, yet you still said yes. You used to tell yourself that you wouldn’t be swayed again by a person’s charm, yet here you were, planning dates with him, even though you had no idea of what kind of person he was. And you – especially you – had to be certain about his motives. And that’s how you decided that you would find out what he wanted at your date. No matter what, you’d know by tomorrow night. Until then, you’d attend your classes and finish your work.

The next day, around 6:30pm, you decided to get ready to meet him. You wore a pair of black ripped jeans, a grey shirt and a leather jacket, combined with long silver earrings and some light makeup. You only liked mascara and some lipstick, but nothing too bright. You grabbed your bag and headed towards the coffee shop, where you found him waiting.

“Hello,” you said, making him look towards you and realize that you’ve arrived.

“Hi. I really don’t want to sound cliché or anything, but you look amazing.” He smiled. You had noticed his smile all of the three times you had seen him. It made your day a bit better.

“Let’s say you don’t. So, what are the plans for today?”

“I was hoping you’d let me take you to one of my favorite places to eat.”

“Sure, why not?” He sounded troubled.

“But we have to take my car. It’ll take us around thirty minutes, if that’s okay with you.”

“Get in the car.”

“I can’t. I have to go home. I need to study.” You turned around and started heading towards the opposite direction.

“Don’t lie to me. Just get in the car, or I’ll make you.” He didn’t even wait for you to respond, got out of the car and shut your mouth with his hand. He grabbed your torso with his other hand and put you in the back seat.

“Where are you taking me?” you asked, trying to hold back your tears.

“My house.”

He pulled over and parked the car, leading you inside. You knew how it’d go from there. You’d beg him to let you go home, but he wouldn’t let you. And that’s exactly what happened. He touched your waist, then took your jacket off. Your shirt came next, and your bra followed. Standing right behind you, his hands cupped your breasts and started getting lower, reaching your pants. He unzipped them and pulled them down along with your underwear, then pushed you onto the table and unzipped his. He took his cock out of the restraints of his underwear and, after sliding a condom on it, he wasted no time. He slid it inside you and thrusted until he came. After that, you remember running to the bathroom with your clothes, locking the door and staying there until you were calm enough to leave.

“You should be thankful I’m letting you go.”

“Y/N? Are you with me?” Chanyeol moved his hand in front of your eyes.

“Yeah, sorry. Let’s go.”

“Are you sure? You seem kind of hesitant.”

“No, don’t worry about it. Where is your car?”

The ride was quite interesting. You asked him how it felt like to be an idol and how often do people recognize him on the street. That way, you found out the craziest things a fan can do to an idol. Unbelievable, really. He had no private life at all, you thought. How could he live? Well, those thirty minutes passed in quite a funny and relaxing way, until you reached the place he wanted. It was a small but beautiful restaurant a bit outside of the city that gave off the vibe that you were somewhere else entirely. And, after you ordered, he thought it was the perfect time to ask you about yourself.

“So, what’s your story?” You frowned at the sound of his question. “I mean, how did you end up here?” His willingness to listen to you radiated off his face in a way you’d probably never seen before. But, what would you tell him? That you left your home town and cut off all contact with most of the people you used to know because of a man?

“My story isn’t interesting at all. It’s not worth telling.” You smile at him.

“Every story is worth telling.”

“Then just hear this. I came here to study and leave behind some of the things that tortured me at my home town.”

“That’s a very interesting story. I’m just hoping that someday you’ll trust me enough to tell me the rest.” After listening to his words, the awkwardness was prevented since your food came, but you couldn’t help it. You kept thinking about why he wanted to get to know you, a girl he met outside of a bathroom at a coffee shop.

The rest of the date was lighter. You talked about anything you could think of. The conversation began from the tastiness of the food to the pets you had when you were younger. And it was fun. You had fun. For the first time in a while, you let loose and maybe drank two or three glasses of wine. Not enough to get drunk though.

After you finished eating, you left the restaurant and headed towards the car, but he reached your hand.

“Wait. There’s another place I need to take you before we head home.”

“Well, okay,” you replied.

“It’s a place I used to come when I was little.” He led you to an empty field close to the restaurant, holding your hand.

“It’s beautiful and, quite relaxing I have to admit.”

“Yeah, it is. It’s the place I come until today when I need to think about something,” he admitted and turned around to face you.

“And may I ask what you’re thinking about now?”

“I don’t know how you’ll take this.”

“You can tell me.”

“Um, it’s only been a few days that I’ve known you, but I like you,” he paused, “and I wanted to know what you think of me. I’m not waiting for a heartfelt confession, obviously, I just want to know if there’s a chance you’d like to know me better.”

“You confuse me, Park Chanyeol. You really do. You’re persistent and quite different from the people I usually meet. But I’d love to get to know you a bit more.” You smiled when you felt his hand caressing your cheek, and closed your eyes as his lips united with yours.

But you didn’t know what to do next. You were frozen. There was a moment when you felt completely liberated from your past, yet soon your mind brought you back to reality. You couldn’t breathe and broke the kiss, trying to prevent Chanyeol from realizing what’s wrong. It was impossible. Your entire body was unable to move and you looked as if you were staring at the void.

“Y/N, talk to me.” He grabbed your shoulders and locked his eyes with yours. He seemed scared. He had no idea what was wrong and you weren’t in a position to tell him. After that, you didn’t remember much. You knew that he got you into the car and at some point he called Violet, but you don’t know what they talked about. One thing was certain͘ the next day you woke up in your room, by Chanyeol’s voice. He wasn’t in the room. No, he was talking to Violet, who was trying to reassure him that he did nothing wrong. You got out of bed and looked at yourself in the mirror, trying to realize how stupid you were after letting him see that. But, you couldn’t keep him waiting for long. Well, he had probably stayed over at your house or had returned in the morning just to see if you’re okay. So, you headed to the living room.

“Oh my god, Y/N!” you heard Chanyeol almost screaming. You could see his eagerness to come closer, but you could also understand why he was holding back.

“I’m sorry.”

“You shouldn’t be. And, since you’re okay, I won’t ever ask you what happened.”

“I told him it was a panic attack, but I didn’t know if I should say more. That’s your issue, Y/N,” Violet said and left you alone with him.

“You really don’t need to tell me if it makes you that uncomfortable. I just need to know if I can do something for you or if you can’t be near me for some reason. Ah, I don’t even know what I want to know…” He sat on the couch and covered his face with his hands, letting out a sigh, then lifted his face. “Talk to me, Y/N.”

“Before I tell you anything, I need to warn you about something.”

“Tell me.”

“I can tell you my story. But it’s something you probably don’t want to listen. You might not even talk to me after this.”

“I promise you that’s not gonna happen.”

“Well, I hope so. Because what I’m about to tell you isn’t easy to hear.” And that’s how you told him everything. You didn’t keep anything to yourself. And that’s how you saw his face getting darker and darker. As he found out about your past, your ex, your home town and another life he had no idea that was possible, his expression was blank. His eyes almost didn’t blink, his hands covered his mouth, his cold sweat dripping, his breath that was almost inexistent.

“Well, what you need to bear in mind if you still want to know me is that-”

“You’re not over it. And you don’t know if you ever will be.”

“Yeah. But how?”

“Violet warned me, sort of. She didn’t tell me anything. She just said that you’ll need time.”

You sat on the couch next to him and waited for a reaction. His reaction. You wanted him to forget what he had just heard, or at least find a way to make peace with all this information, as it was too much for him. You didn’t want him to carry the weight that you did all this time. You wanted to make him go through this as effortlessly as you could, but soon you realized that this had nothing to do with him. You were the one suffering. You were the one trying to survive, trying to move on. You were the one who had to let go, not him.

“I know this isn’t easy to swallow, but please say something.”

“I…” He lifted his head up and turned to you. “How could you do this to yourself?” He was in a state of disbelief.

“I have no excuse, honestly. I don’t know, until today. What I can say is that I was actually in love with him, at least in the beginning. When I realized that things weren’t as they were supposed to be, it was too late.”

“I see. You should know that I haven’t changed my mind about you. You just need to tell me whenever you’re not comfortable with something.” He stopped talking, but you could see that there was something he wanted to say. “Ah, I want to hold you in my arms so bad now. Well," he smiled, “last night I had a wonderful time. I mean, before that.”

“”I did too, Chanyeol. And please do.” He leaned closer to you, and wrapped his arms around you. Your heartbeat was faster than ever, but soon you got used to his presence and relaxed. That’s how both of you ended up staying on the couch together and watching movies all day, since he didn’t have practice. And Violet “magically” left the house to go to a friend, leaving you two alone under a blanket.

After the first movie ended, you started talking and talking, just like you did last night. He kissed you on the cheek a couple of times and you did on the lips. You were relaxed after spending time with him, which made coming closer to him easier than the last time. And, it didn’t take long to turn into something more. After a while, you found yourself touching his arms and back, wanting to explore this aspect of your relationship slowly. He followed your lead, placing his hands on your hips for start, then on your back and waist. He knew how to handle you now. He was prepared to take things at your pace, making you comfortable enough to gradually open up to him. He seemed as if he was determined to use up all of the patience that he had.

After that day, it became a habit for you two to meet two or three times a week and hug each other. It was something you got used to, gradually, and he always did it when you were expecting it. He had correctly assumed that surprise back hugs were not something you’d enjoy, at least at that point, and he was absolutely willing to keep things at your pace.

That’s how three months passed. You were dating in secret, considering his fans and the press, and he took you to places he knew you wouldn’t be discovered. The last thing he wanted was to get you involved into something that would put you in a difficult position. You also invited him at your place, where you ate dinner together, watched movies and discussed more things than you had time to, before Violet returned or he had to go back to SM. It was also a possibility that you’d end up making out as well, taking slow steps further every time. And he tried to mirror your reactions. If you reached under his shirt to touch his waist, he would slowly take a similar step. That way, you quietly let him know what was okay to do and what not. So, you eventually stopped being as stressed before meeting him.

The same pattern was supposed to go on the next times you met. And that’s what you expected when you invited him over at your house to hang out. It was a tiring day for you, as you had just finished your exams and you were physically and mentally exhausted. And you knew he’d be tired as well, since EXO was working at some new songs at the time and they had a lot of dance practices to do. So, what could be better than a quiet night in, where both of you would probably fall asleep on the couch and Violet would find you the next morning?

But, as Chanyeol arrived, you greeted him with a kiss and led him to the couch, offering him something to drink. That’s when Violet came out of her room, dressed in fancy clothes and holding a backpack.

“Where are you going so hot, V?” you exclaimed.

“Ah, at the party I told you about yesterday.”

“I thought you said you were bored to go.”

“Changed my mind. Well, Yoon Woo actually asked me out, kind of indirectly. So I’m going with him,” She seemed ecstatic. And you were as well for her, until you realized the house would be completely empty for you two for the entire night. You had no reason to be worried though. Nothing was going to happen that night, just like any other night in the past three months.

“So, Y/N,” he said after about an hour that you’d been discussing, “can I take a shower here? I came right after the dance practice and… I kinda assumed you wouldn’t mind…” He gave you that sweet smile you’d never be able to resist to.

“Sure. I see you’ve brought clothes. I have towels on the second drawer in the bathroom, and you can use anything that’s by the bathtub to wash. Then you can go to my room to put your clothes on. I won’t intrude, I promise.”

He smirked and grabbed his back pack, so you reached your phone to distract yourself for a few minutes. After a while, you heard him come out of the bathroom and enter your room. You got up and went down the hallway. You knocked at the door.

“Hey, I forgot to tell you that I have body cream in the first drawer in my room if you need it.”

“Come in, I’m wearing pants.” He answered and you laughed, but as you entered, it wasn’t the fact that he was wearing pants that you noticed. It was the lack of his shirt that caught your attention. “See? I’m wearing pants.”

“I can tell. Well, if you open the first drawer… Ah, let me show you. “You came towards him and took the cream out of the drawer, placing it onto your desk. “I should let you get ready.” You turned towards the door, but before you managed to leave, you felt his hand on your shoulder.

“Y/N, come here.”

“Um…”

“Just trust me and come here.” His voice was so calm, that you had no reason not to go. You came close to him and stood right in front of him, looking down. “Now look into my eyes. I’m going to take your hand and place it onto my chest without clothes covering me this time, okay?”

“But why-”

“Just listen to me.” He held your hand on his chest, then slowly pulled you closer. He took your other hand as well and led you to embrace him. “It feels warm, right? To touch a person’s skin, especially if it’s a person you can trust… I find it one of the most comfortable things in the entire world. Being touched as well, just like you’re doing right now. Try to come closer to me and just rest your hand on my chest, without boundaries between us.” You did as he said. You could hear his heart racing, his body warm, his hands softly resting around your back covering your entire body.

“It does.”

“Do you want to take off your hoodie? I know you’re wearing another shirt beneath it. I just think it’ll help you have one less barrier.” He removed his hands from your back and placed them at the bottom of your hoodie, starting to slowly take it off. He was giving you enough time to stop him if you felt the need to, but you told yourself you had to try. You were wearing a black tank top underneath your white hoodie, which gave you the safety you needed to remove your top layer. “We’re doing this really slowly, okay?” You nodded. He caressed your cheek with his right hand and you embraced him again, giving him permission to kiss you. Your lips locked, and even if it was for a second, you felt calm. You were so caught up in this feeling of calmness, that you didn’t resist when his hands started lifting your tank top as well, leaving you almost exposed in front of him, with only your bra in his way. “Are you feeling good?” You weren’t in a position to speak, so you nodded and he took your hand, leading you towards your bed. “Will it be easier for you if I take it off first?” He looked down on his pants, so you realized things were getting deeper than you thought. But you wanted it to happen. It was finally time.

“Can you,” you paused, “do it for me please?” you asked and he followed your instructions getting on his knees to unbutton your jeans. He left soft kisses on your stomach and thighs as he lowered them, until he took them off completely. His pants were next. Then, he sat on the bed, pulling you onto his lap, legs spread open. Your kisses were slow and full of emotion, as if what both of you were doing was perfectly led by what you felt. He pulled away from the kiss and looked at you in the eyes.

“I’m taking this off, okay?” His hands were resting on your bra, waiting for your approval. As soon as you gave it to him, he unclasped it, leaving your chest bar before him. Your bodies could fully feel one another now. He lifted you up and placed you on top of the bed, stepping aside to his bag to get a condom. He approached you again, giving you another kiss. “Everything is going to be fine.”

“I trust you,” he heard you say and started taking off your underwear, then his. He rolled the condom on his length and started kissing your jaw, then your neck and collarbones, while his right hand was getting lower. He inserted one finger of you, then another, and used his thumb to work on your clit. “Chanyeol,” you sighed, “I need you.” As soon as he heard that, he slowly inserted his length inside your entrance and began slight movements. Your hands left his neck, and reached down on his muscular back, as your legs were around his hips. He lifted you up, changing your position to sit on top of him on the bed, while holding your hips. You fastened the pace while kissing his neck, making him moan.

“Y/N, you feel so good…”

“Ah, Chanyeol…” You came first and he followed. He pulled away and got up to throw the condom away. He returned to find you lying in bed, waiting for him. You probably rested there in silence for at least thirty minutes, before he decided to talk.

“How are you feeling? Did I push you too far?”

“No, you didn’t, I’m happy it was you who helped me move on.” You smiled, knowing he’d sleep peacefully for the rest of the night.

“Ah, I’m so happy you see it that way. When Violet, helped plan this, I was so nervous that I-”

“Wait a second. Did you just say…?”

“Yeah, oops. Joking aside, you have an amazing friend by your side.”

“I guess I do… But thanks for everything.”

“This is something that I’d happily do again as many times as you needed, Y/N.” You lifted your face to look at his cute smile that made your heart melt ever since you met him, only to realize that you were finally calm. You were starting to get past your fears, and he was there to stay.

#chanyeol #Park Chanyeol #park chanyeol x reader #park chanyeol headcanon #chanyeol smut #chanyeol headcanon #park chanyeol headanon #park chanyeol smut #tw: abuse #tw: abusive relationship #tw: violence #tw: rape #fanfic #fanfiction #fic

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daisychains4 · 5 years

Text

Strings (3/16)

Chapter 3: Aftertaste (Masterlist)

Warnings: None

Note: Italics are song lyrics

AN: This is the Shawn Mendes x reader AU teenage heartbreak story you didn’t know you needed.

Your mum hadn’t just moved you away from Shawn’s neighborhood; she’d dragged you across the country to Edmonton. She deactivated your phone number and deleted all of your social media accounts. She would do everything in her power to keep you and Shawn apart and prevent you from repeating her own mistakes.

You were beside yourself. You were cut off from the love of your life, your friends, your school, all just weeks before the start of your senior year. Your mum was keeping you on lockdown, never letting you out of her sight. She made you go with her to work in her new office where she’d just transferred from Pickering. She stayed home with you every night and weekend.

All you thought about was Shawn, and the look on his face when you saw him for the last time.

Re—rewind Friday night

Never forget it

How you let me go.

No more lies, I'll be fine.

I know where I'm headed;

Probably should've known.

You were angry at your mother, but could only imagine how angry Shawn must have been with you. You’d left him behind without a word or a clue as to where you had gone. You told yourself he would never forgive you, even if you came back home.

And now you're gonna say, "Pretty, please forgive me."

Fool me once, told you twice you're gonna regret it,

Now you're all alone, yeah.

Turns out that no one can replace me.

I'm permanent, you can't erase me.

I'll help you remember me,

One more kiss is all it takes.

I'll leave you with the memory,

And the aftertaste.

The bitter silence that pervaded the (Y/LN) house was suffocating. Both mother and daughter spoke little; your anger spoke volumes.

After two weeks in Edmonton, your mum had finally had enough. She sat across from you at the small kitchen table watching you push your food around on your plate without taking any bites.

“Oh, (Y/N), enough of this. It’s time to move on.”

You glared up at your mother. You didn’t have the energy to yell anymore.

“We did the right thing by coming here. You’ll see—”

“We did the right thing? I didn’t do anything. You dragged me across the country.”

“It’s for your own good, (Y/N). You can’t see this now, but he would’ve ruined your life—”

“No, Mum, you’ve done that. He made life bearable. You make it a living Hell!”

You stormed from the kitchen and burst into your room, slamming the door behind you. You kicked aside the boxes of your things that you hadn’t bothered unpacking and threw yourself onto your bed, sobbing.

Close your eyes, you can't hide,

Try to forget me,

But I'm everywhere.

I'm the smell on your sheets.

You weren't ready

When you left me there.

You cried into your pillow, and swore you could still smell the faint remnants of Shawn’s cologne. You thought about your birthday — how had it only been two weeks ago that you’d been the happiest you’ve ever been?

Before you started dating Shawn, life with your mum was barely tolerable. Shawn was supportive of you where your mum had never been. She only cared about your grades, which you always worked hard on to keep your mum happy. But your passion was dance.

You took her first dance class when you were five, and fell in love immediately. You loved all of it — every style, from ballet to modern to hip hop. You loved the way you felt when you moved, and felt you could express yourself better dancing than you ever could with words.

Your mum hardly took the time to participate in your dance life, but Shawn was always there. He came to your recitals and competitions, and loved driving you to auditions, master classes, and conventions. You had found the biggest supporter in Shawn, and you never felt better dancing than when Shawn was cheering you on from the audience.

And you had left him behind.

And now you're gonna say, "Pretty, please forgive me." Yeah —

Bet it hurts, it gets worse,

You know nobody said it would be fair, oh.

Turns out that no one can replace me.

I'm permanent, you can't erase me.

I'll help you remember me,

One more kiss is all it takes.

I'll leave you with the memory,

And the aftertaste.

You thought back to the torturous drive from Pickering to Edmonton. You had stared out the passenger window while your mum hurled hateful remarks at you, blaming you for uprooting your family. She called you careless, and many worse things. She said that your promiscuity was what got you in this position, and that if you hadn’t been so foolish you could have stayed in Pickering. She accused you of throwing your entire life away for a silly boy who would have left you anyway.

You did your best not to cry — you were losing the love of your life and beginning to believe that it was, in fact, all your fault.

And now there's something in your way

'Cause you threw it all to waste

And you wonder if you could take back what you did that day

And it hurts, 'cause...

Turns out that no one can replace me.

I'm permanent, you can't erase me.

I'll help you remember me,

One more kiss is all it takes.

I'll leave you with the memory,

And the aftertaste.

Two weeks later, you found yourself walking aimlessly through Edmonton. It was the first time your mum had let you out of the house alone since you’d moved. You didn’t know where you were going, you just knew you couldn’t spend another minute suffocating in the tiny house your mum had rented.

After what felt like hours of walking without getting anywhere, a small corner building caught your eye. The building had windows on two sides, and you could see dancers, a young man and woman, inside a studio. You watched them turn and leap across the floor. In your head, you pictured the rise and fall of music you couldn’t hear, slow and soft in quiet movements, reaching a crescendo every time a dancer leapt off the floor. You could feel your muscles hum as you watched the intricate dance unfold.

You didn’t know how long you stood there watching the dancers, but it was long enough to catch the eye of someone inside. You were so lost in your thoughts, you didn’t hear the older Latina woman walk up to stand beside you.

“Can I help you?” the woman asked gently.

You jumped. “I’m so sorry!” you exclaimed. “I was just— the dance. It’s a beautiful piece.”

The woman’s eyebrow arched interestedly. “What do you think it’s about?”

“I think it’s about a love that can’t let go,” you answered thoughtfully.

“What do you mean?”

“Well. You can feel the love between them. The way they move together tells me that they know each other. It looks like they can anticipate each other’s movements. But then, they break apart - something is coming between them. I can see the pain on their faces when she jetés away from him just there. She doesn’t want to go, but something is pulling her away. And you can see that even though you know they won’t work out, somehow you can feel this is really the end for them, and they know it too, but they can’t seem to stay away from each other, not really. Like a magnet is pulling them toward each other - but when they get just close enough to touch again, they can’t. Like when you try to force the north poles of a magnet together. You can feel the attraction between them, but no matter how close they get, they can’t come together,” you gushed breathlessly.

“You see all of that,” the woman asked, surprised. She looked at the dancers critically. “Something’s not working. I can’t quite put my finger on what it is. What do you think?”

You hesitated. Even though the woman had just invited your criticism, you didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

The woman seemed to sense your trepidation. “Don’t worry, I can take it,” she smiled.

“Well… the part in the middle, when they’ve begun separating, their movement is too out of synch. It’s clear they still want to be together, so I wonder if some parallel movement between them might make the transition to the end smoother. And the end, of course, is too abrupt. Just because they’re breaking up, doesn’t mean it’s just over for both of them. Breakups aren’t like that. The pain will follow them, even when the dance is over. That doesn’t translate in the ending.”

The woman turned to you, clearly impressed with your critique. You smiled sheepishly. The woman stuck out her hand. “Tori Nguyen,” she said.

“I’m (Y/N). (Y/N) (Y/LN),” you replied. “It’s nice to meet you. Is this your studio?”

“It is. You must dance. Do you take somewhere around here?”

“I do. Or I guess I did. I just moved here from Pickering, near Toronto. I’m not dancing now.”

Tori studied you. “Can you come by tomorrow? I want to see what you can do.”

“Oh, well,” you stammered. “I don’t know if I can. I can’t pay for—”

Tori put a hand up to stop you. “Just come by. I bet we can work something out.”

“Ok,” you agreed, smiling - a real, genuinely happy smile - for the first time since you saw Shawn. You thought of him again as you turned away from the studio and made your way back home.

Truth is that no one can replace me.

I'm permanent, you can't erase me.

I'll help you remember me,

One more kiss is all it takes.

I'll leave you with the memory,

And the aftertaste.

#shawn mendes #shawn peter raul mendes #shawn mendes army #shawn mendes au #shawn mendes x reader #shawn mendes aftertaste #aftertaste #shawn mendes song fic #shawn mendes songfic #song fic #songfic #multific #shawn mendes multific

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originalsdaily · 6 years

Text

THE ORIGINALS SEASON 5 - ALL THE FACTS AS OF PREMIER DAY 18TH APRIL 2018 - All ship information, TVD character cameos, new characters, flashbacks, how the show will end and other tidbits (also 'accidental’ spoilers the writers didn’t want us to see)

DISCLAIMER:

These are compilation of spoilers issued by the writers and cast themselves through social media, SDCC and text/video interviews, also IMDB listings. Please don’t read if you don’t wish to have spoilers for the upcoming season. The ‘accidental spoilers’ for the season are going to be posted under a cut, so those who want the official spoilers and wish to stay away from the other ones can do so.

Below is a summary of everything we know so far about season five. I’ve sourced where possible, though for some things there is no available source, (such as Danielle Russells instagram live video which isn’t available in it’s entirety, though I watched live and wrote down what she said as it was airing, and a photograph from Carina Mackenzie’s instagram of a draft of 502 which was not screenshotted.) At the time of posting, all tweets are active, though tweets can be removed at any point. This is up to date at time of posting, I’ve scoured and added everything I could find. If I’ve missed something out, please link me and I will add on.

For SDCC 2017 facts, I’ve simply put “SDCC” as the source. Here are links to watch the SDCC panel - (xx)

A compilation of like 97% of the bts photos are here (x)

General Season Info

The Originals season five premiers Wednesday, April 18th at 9:00 p.m and this season is the final season of the show (x) (x) The show was originally due to premier on the 20th April, but got moved from Friday to Wednesday. The show has now been on every single weeknight. (x)

The Tagline of the season is “Family, Always and Forever” (x)

Joseph Morgan, Daniel Gillies and Charles Michael Davis will be directing again. Joseph is to direct episode 3 “Ne Me Quitte Pas,” Charles to direct episode 6 “What, Will, I, Have, Left” and Daniel is to direct episode 10 (SDCC) (x)(x)(x)(x)

Episode titles are as follows (followed by director, writer(s) and synopsis where possible) (x):

5x01 ‘Where You Left Your Heart’ - Directed by Lance Anderson, written by Marguerite MacIntyre (x)(x)

“Desperate to see her father Klaus after seven years, Hope resorts to drastic measures to bring her father back to New Orleans. Hayley attempts to minimize the fallout from Hope's actions, but not before news of what she's done ripples through the city. Meanwhile, Freya's guilt over not being able to reunite her family gets in the way of her happiness with Keelin, while Rebekah struggles with her inability to fully commit to Marcel. Finally, struggling without Elijah by his side, Klaus' murderous rampage throughout Europe leads to an unexpected encounter with Caroline Forbes.”

5x02 ‘One Wrong Turn On Bourbon’ - Written by Carina Mackenzie (x)(x)

“When a mysterious disappearance brings Klaus back to New Orleans, Hope looks forward to the prospect of seeing her father again. However, when the dark magic that had been keeping them apart begins to manifest in dangerous ways across the city, Vincent turns to Ivy for guidance about what it may mean. Elsewhere, Marcel returns to New Orleans amidst increased tensions between the supernatural factions, while Freya makes a decision about her future with Keelin. Finally, Roman's surprise visit to the Mikaelson compound forces Hope to reveal some dark truths about her family. Josh also appears.”

5x03 'Ne Me Quitte Pas’ (Do not leave me) - Directed by Joseph Morgan (x)(x)

“In the immediate aftermath of having his memory erased by Marcel, Elijah awakens to find himself in the middle of nowhere and without a clue as to who he is. Unable to control his instinctive vampire ways, Elijah encounters Antoinette, a beautiful and free-spirited vampire, who helps him navigate his new life. However, a run-in with Klaus threatens to destroy the peace he's finally found.”

5x04 'Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea’

5x05 'Don’t It Just Break Your Heart’

5x06 ‘What, Will, I, Have, Left” - Written by Marguerite MacIntyre, Directed by Charles Michael Davis (x)

5x07 ‘God’s Gonna Trouble The Water’ - Written by Bianca Sams & Julie Plec (x)(x)

5x08 ‘The Kindness Of Strangers’ - Written by Carina Mackenzie (x)(x)

5x09 ‘We Have Not Long To Live’

5x10 ‘There In The Disappearing Light’ - Written by Jeffery Lieber & Eva McKenna, Directed by Daniel Gillies (x)(x)

5x11 ‘Till The Day I Die’

5x12 ‘The Tale Of Two Wolves’ - Written by Carina Mackenzie (x)

5x13 ‘When the Saints Go Marching In” - Written by Jeffery Lieber & Julie Plec (x)(x)

On returning special guests:

Nate Buzolic, Claire Holt, Danielle Campbell and Sebastian Roche are all also returning for their roles as Kol, Rebekah, Davina and Mikael respectively. (x)(x)(x)

Julie said there’s a chance Cami, Finn or Jackson will appear this season. Soon after posting this, Leah Pipes was on set for one of the final episodes (x) (x)

On the Mikaelson Family:

There are “several” Hope/Elijah scenes and “a few” Rebekah/Hope scenes (Danielle’s insta live)

"This season is about the Mikaelsons trying to find a way to bring the family back together" (x)

Danielle Russell said Hope was 15 (in her insta live) and that eight years have passed, which was originally said during SDCC by Julie also. However, Julie has stated seven years elsewhere (x) (There seems to now be a general consensus 7 years has passed)

Hayley, Klaus and Hope are ‘a family’ (Danielle’s insta live)

More sister bonding for Freya and Rebekah will be in the show. (x)

Klaus’ true ship of the season is the family (x)

We can tell that a lot has changed, but as the siblings have been alive for 1000 years, it’s almost like a blink of an eye for them. (x)

Hope and Klaus have a strained relationship, despite Hayley and Freya trying very hard to keep them all close. Klaus ignored Hope over the years and Hope isn’t thrilled about it. (x) (x)

Nobody at school knows Hope is a Mikaelson. (x)

Riley describes Freya’s first love as her family. (x)

Hayley has found happiness with her new boyfriend Declan (x)

Freya is experiencing peace for the first time in her life though struggling to put herself first, she’s in love and happy, though working to bring her family back together and has also been very active in Hope’s life, working as her mentor and support system, which causes conflict with Klaus. It has also been stated that she is in her late 30′s / early 40′s but has physically aged slowly (SDCC)(x)(x)(x)

During the time jump, Klaus has gone on a murder spree (SDCC)

Hayley and Hope have a typical chaotic mother/daughter relationship and there will be ‘many’ scenes with the two of them together. During the time jump Hayley has helped Hope with school projects, focused on her personal life, and also tried to overcome her heartbreak to be strong for Hope. (SDCC) (x) (x)

Marcel will reflect on his past and how he’s managed the quarter. (x)

We see why Rebekah makes the same mistakes over and over, going deep into who she is. (x)

Klaus hasn’t been in touch in five years (x)

Klaus visits Elijah in Manosque, France and converses with him, though Elijah has no clue who he is (x)

There’s a Freya/Elijah moment in which there’s tears of happiness (x)

Hayley is not in every episode this season. Elijah will also not be in at least one episode. However, Klaus is in all. (x) (x)

We get an episode that is Elijah from start to finish. We get to see where Elijah left off in the s4 finale, and what he’s been doing in the seven years that’s passed. Julie has said she had “Being able to write a narrative for Elijah that allowed him to live an entirely different life and imagining what that life would look like was a lot of fun,” (x) (x)

Hope is aware of the kind of man her father is and what he’s done, and is annoyed he's trying to hide it from her (x)

On new characters:

Minor characters cast for the season include Nicholas Alexander as “Henry Benoit”, Alexis Louder as “Lisina”, Katie Cook as “Poppy”, Malone Thomas as “Colette”, Jamie Thomas King as “August Muller”, Kyle Jackson as “Lookie Loo”, Jason Burkey as “David”, Shiva Kalaiselvan as “Ivy”, Bella Samman & Allison Gobuzzi as “Josie & Lizzie Saltzman” (x)(x)(x)(x)(x)(x)

Several love interests have been cast for main characters. Jaime Murray has been cast as Elijah’s new love interest Antoinette - “a beautiful, “old-school” vampire who meets Elijah shortly after he loses his memories. Her flirtatious, free-spirited nature masks dark secrets about her painful past” - who will appear in episode 3. Torrance Coombs has been cast as Declan - a flirty Irish chef completely ignorant to the supernatural until Hayley introduces him to it - and he’s to be Hayley’s new love interest. He’s been described as her ‘friend with benefits’ and Hayley has been described as ‘the woman he loves’ Jedediah Goodacre has been cast as Roman - “ a charming vampire who takes an interest in Hope after a “mysterious incident” occurs at her school” - Hope’s love interest. Another love interest for Hope includes Landon, portrayed by Aria Shahghasemi - “a thoughtful, compassionate and self-aware kid from the wrong side of the tracks who catches Hope’s attention when she witnesses him being bullied by his affluent classmates,” & “desperate to escape his broken home and the small southern town in which it stands. Despite being human, Landon apparently has a shady past, and investigating it could lead him into the dangerous world of the supernatural.” - who will appear in the penultimate episode (x) (x) (x) (x) (SDCC)

A character named Margot is set to appear, described as “a “calculating” vampire, whose glory days trace all the way back to 1920s Europe. She recently moved to New Orleans, and she has an “almost zealous devotion to her family.” (x) It’s highly likely that ‘Margot’ has been renamed to ‘Greta Sienna’ and will be played by Nadine Lewington as the character descriptions are identical (x)(x)

On TVD character appearances

Candice King is set to appear in 4 episodes, 501, 506, 512 & 513, reprising her role from The Vampire Diaries as Caroline Forbes-Salvatore, Headmistress of the school Hope attends - it was also confirmed she recorded audio for a fifth episode. Matt Davis will reprise his TVD role as Alaric Saltzman in episode 512. Demetrius Bridges will also reprise his TVD role as “Dorian Williams” 501 at least (x)(x)(x)(x)(x)(x)(x)

Stefan Salvatore mentions are possible. And due to a bts photograph of stand ins that have hair unmistakably like that of Stefan, it’s almost certain he will appear along with his brother Damon. (x) (x) (Though in an interview, Paul has said he likely wont cameo, which means that the stand in’s may simply be filmed from the back to represent the Salvatore’s, though their faces and voices wont be appearing)

Regarding Flashbacks:

Summer Fontana will return as Hope in flashbacks as we see her struggle with her magic as she grows older. (x) (x) ( Also confirmed by Danielle Russell in her insta live when she said she met Summer on set)

There’ll be a flashback to 1x22 show how Hope got her name (x) (further evidenced by this photo of Phoebe on set wearing her 1x22 post-birth costume)

On the final episode:

In the finale there’ll be a bench scene between Elijah and Klaus similar to the one in the first episode (x)

When asked about the finale, Joseph said “The family doesn’t all sail off together into the sunset. There is hope there, there is definitely some sort of peace for everyone. It’s very emotional.” (x)

One of Julie’s regrets is that there was never a full scene on why Elijah believed Klaus had dropped the family into the ocean, though it is touched upon in the finale. (x)

Julie says there’s no character who had their ending planned from day one (x)

The show probably won’t get a happy ending and it’s possible that the final words of the show may end up being the iconic “always and forever” (SDCC) (x) (Danielle said in her insta live that she believes the finale ties a lot of things together)

On Vincent:

It’s confirmed Vincent will be given a love interest and has just been carrying on with ‘business as usual’ in New Orleans, he’s been maintaining the stability of the city. He’s comfortable but vigilant. (SDCC) (x)

He is managing the quarter, restoring peace and calm (with a little help from Freya) (x)

On Hope / Roman

Roman and Hope is described as “Complicated but really interesting” (Danielle’s insta live)

Roman appears to be the only person who knows Hope is a Mikaelson, it’s unknown if he’s always been aware or is new to the fact. (x)

On Freya / Keelin

Freya and Keelin have a love that runs deep but they’ll hit hurdles along the way (x)

Freya is ‘so in love with’ Keelin - “Keelin definitely wants her to put herself first, and it’s just really hard for Freya. But I think you’ll start to see that transition a little bit, where she starts kind of considering, you know, ‘This is what’s best, and my family understands, and that doesn’t tear us apart.’ - Riley (x)

Keelin has been spending time with Doctors Without Borders, in the Middle East (currently in Lebanon) and is often away from New Orleans; Freya astral projects to her. They spend a lot of time apart, as Freya doesn’t want to leave the city till her family are reunited, this gets to Keelin. Keelin wants to spend the rest of her life with Freya, but wants to explore their relationship when Freya isn’t as connected to her family. Freya fears she’ll lose Keelin if she doesn’t join her in Lebanon. (x)

On Hayley / Elijah -

Elijah and Hayley will have a conversation about their past, future, regrets and dreams and their relationship this season is described as “equal love and pain” in regards to them, though Julie hopes the two will find peace in eternity together (x) (x) (SDCC)

Hayley & Elijah will appear in Mystic Falls during the season (x)(x)

On Marcel / Rebekah -

Marcel and Rebekah have remained in New York over the time jump, Charles joked they were ‘catching broadway shows’ and couldn’t get tickets to see Hamilton (SDCC)

They have a penthouse in New York, and they’re doing ‘pretty good’, coping well with the Mikaelson separation, though Rebekah does get upset and it sometimes causes tension. (x)

On Kol / Davina -

Kol and Davina are married in season 5, the wedding happened in the time jump. Nate described their relationship this season as “The struggle that comes into play is now that he has this responsibility to his wife, he also has this struggle with his family. And I guess as he tries to separate from the family, his family tries to drag him back in. It becomes a bit of a struggle between wife and family.” (x)

On Klaus / Caroline -

Caroline and Klaus will have three scenes together in 501. She will be there to call Klaus out on his shit. Caroline also has at least one scene with Klaus in the season finale in New Orleans. (SDCC) (x)

Julie say’s that they don’t collide and get a happy ending - because she thinks their relationship is more mature than that. In the same interview Joseph is satisfied with how the characters leave off, and he hopes the way it’s done will pay tribute to the fans and their devotion, but warns that not everyone will be happy. (x)

According to Candice, Julie has always had a ‘clear idea’ of what she wanted from Klaus and Caroline together, and the final season of The Originals gives life to that. (x)

Misc info:

The Hollow will remain a prominent enemy in the season, but there’ll be another big bad to contend with. “The Big Bad this year is launched from an ideology more so than one singular person’s nefarious desire, It’s an ideology that was spawned almost a century ago, a movement that has been simmering and stewing over that century. It does have a personal connection to the Mikaelson family, but it also has a thematic resonance that is very timely.” (x)

Every year, Josh, Freya, Vincent and Hayley prep for Mardi Gras together (x)

Julie promises a ‘sliver’ of hope for Klaus and Cami fans (x)

Don’t expect a friendship between Caroline’s twins and Hope, it seems that the age gap isn’t workable for the three witches to become friends. (x) (x)

New Orleans has been at peace without Klaus (x) (x)

The werewolves still have their upgraded power, as Hayley and Jackson kept their vows until he died, and the werewolves will be included more this season (x)(x)

Caroline and Freya don’t have scenes together (x)

Caroline will also have a scene with Josh in 501 (SDCC)

Julie scripted a wolf!Klaus scene but it was cut (x)

UNDER THE CUT ARE THE ‘ACCIDENTAL SPOILERS’ FROM THE WRITERS ROOM. DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT WISH TO BE SPOILED BEYOND WHAT THE WRITERS HAVE OFFICIALLY CLEARED

These are the ‘accidental spoilers’ - spoilers that were leaked by the writers unintentionally and the photograph which revealed them was quickly deleted. These have been put under the cut so those who do not wish to view them do not have to.

This was posted by the new showrunner Jeff Lieber, the storyboard is from episode 507 - it was promptly deleted

As the image is hard to read, I’ll decode it down here;

Hayley dies in 5x06, she burns to death. Klaus tries to save her but is unable to as someone stops him. Elijah watches her death.

Elijah’s memory returns.

Someone (possibly Margot due to the last letter of the name being ‘T’ and she is the only character with a name ending in ‘T’) knows Hope could be the ‘Ruin or Salvation’ of New Orleans.

Margot is killed to protect Hope (Which furthers the theory that she knows Hope could ruin NOLA and may have tried to stop her)

Vincent is on the outs with Klaus and Freya

Keelin is pregnant - judging by the comment “Freya/Keelin resolution” it could be assumed that Freya is unhappy about the situation

Marcel and Davina reunite, and Elijah is going to help Davina with a problem.

There’s a flashback in 507 -which is presumably the 1x22 flashback that Julie has all but confirmed is where Hope’s name is decided upon (due to the nature of the flashback and the episode in which it takes place in, one can assume that Klaus is telling Hope how she got her name in an attempt to comfort her) (also see this post here explaining how people came to the conclusion that the flashback is set in 1x22)

Hope goes missing and is searched for by Klaus and Caroline

Hayley’s funeral is in 5x07, Klaus speaks at her funeral. On the board there are several points questioning the kind of funeral Hayley will have, a second line typical of new orleans, or a crescent ceremony in the bayou -judging by info from fans who watched filming in Conyers (from videos that have now been deleted) - there was a second line funeral parade filmed meaning Hayley probably doesn’t get a Crescent ceremony.

Hope is angered by Hayley’s ‘calm funeral’ and is to make a ‘big move’ at the end of the episode.

#the originals #toedit #original groupies #the vampire diaries #to #tos5

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akaiikowrites · 7 years

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to build a home pt 3

Summary: “I’m just… Fucking… Look, my heart burns for you.” Katara’s the most terrifying girl in the world. Zuko’s kind of in love with her.

Notes: It took almost ten months but we're back at it again with more High School AU. Light on the "high school" in this chapter. But for a good cause? There's going to be one more chapter after this, so we're in the home (ahahahaha bad puns) stretch. Thank you again for all the kind feedback on my trash.

Rating: PG-13/T for cussing, sexual(ish) content, and pure old fashioned Wisconsin cheese.

Part: One and Two

Uncle doesn’t complain that he spends a lot of their remaining vacation taking pictures and texting. Actually, once Uncle catches on that it’s Katara on the other end, he makes a game out of finding things for Zuko to tell Katara about. It’s both obnoxious and endearing. Because he feels generous, Zuko decides it’s more endearing than obnoxious, and humors his Uncle.

(It helps that Uncle found the weird statue of a crab in hula gear that had Katara laughing so hard that Sokka was able to steal her phone and get a picture of her mid-cackle.)

But their last night in Ember Cove, Zuko leaves the phone in their room and goes out onto the porch. It’s not that he doesn’t want to talk to Katara it’s just that he’s realized soon they’re going to have to actually talk about things that matter again instead of whatever dumb thing they just snapped a picture of. Uncle is out on the porch with a cup of tea. When Zuko takes a seat on the porch steps, Uncle says, “It is a beautiful night. Very peaceful.”

With a sigh, Zuko lets his head thump back against the railing and wonders how he’s supposed to explain any of this. Part of him had hoped Uncle would pry. Instead, it seems that his Uncle is feeling philosophical enough to let Zuko come to him. Fuck.

It takes almost a half hour for Zuko to figure out what he needs to say. During that time Uncle finishes his first cup of tea in slow, deliberate sips. Then rises and disappears back into their rented cabin to make himself another cup. Zuko finds the exact words as Uncle emerges back into the humid night and takes a seat in the well-worn rocking chair he favors. There’s a creak from the chair and a satisfied hum from Uncle as he takes the first sip of his fresh cup. Zuko breathes in deep and says:

“Katara knows about Mom. I didn’t tell her but she knew. That’s why she became my friend. Because she felt bad for me and wanted to fix me. Help me. I don’t know.” The old frustration surges up. Fresh and raw as it had been the first time. He can feel his hands curling into fists but he doesn’t try to stop it. Just lets the feeling rush through him because he needs to do this. Bleed the poison out of this wound. He just doesn’t want to hurt her again. “That’s why I didn’t talk to her. Because it’s fucked up. Making someone your friend so you can fix them. But she called. Christmas morning. Told me that her mom died and she blames herself and that’s why she does it. Fixes people. Helps them. Whatever it is she does. I don’t want to be a fucking project to her but she needs me and I don’t know how to forgive her but I can’t—”

There are no more words and he’s honestly amazed he made it this far. It feels like the inside of his mouth has been all cut up with razor blades, like he needs to punch something to focus the pain, like he’s exactly the kind of wounded creature who needs a beautiful girl to save him. Zuko knows his eyes are pleading as he looks at his Uncle.

“Katara is?” Uncle says. Philosophically.

Zuko launches to his feet and begins to pace across the width of the porch. “I don’t know. Katara’s…Katara.” Pacing isn’t helping but he knows he can’t vent his anger by hitting something. So he growls, and tangles his fingers in his hair, and clenches his eyes shut. “Katara is someone gentle, and smart, and fierce. She sees all the worst things about life and then decides she can somehow change it. She takes in people because they need it, not because they deserve it. She stays kind even though nothing else is kind. She demands a better world.” Without meaning to his feet come to a stop. He opens his eyes. His hands slide from his hair to fall to his sides. “She makes me want to demand a better world.”

Out here the light is pretty shitty. Reliant on the small lamps that light the pathways between cabins and the heavy moon above them. But Zuko’s pretty sure he’s not imagining the faint gleam to Uncle’s eyes. Or the hoarse edge as he says, “Then the question is, nephew, if your pride is worth more than all that Katara is.”

No. It’s not.

Zuko Himura 11:48PM we need to talk when i get back

Katara Foster 11:49PM i know

It takes them all day to get back to Republic City. They nearly die once because Uncle sees a tea shop and whips their car across five lanes of traffic to get at it. When they pull into the driveway there’s a good six inches of fresh snow that’ll need to be cleared tomorrow. Zuko goes straight upstairs because a week and a half solid of socializing with Uncle is exhausting. (It’s good, too, in a way that he can’t articulate.) After kicking the door shut and dropping his bags, he collapses face first onto his bed, ready to take the world’s longest nap.

The world’s longest nap is only about three hours long.

Zuko wakes up blearily to the faint whine of the tea kettle. It stops but he’s awake, now, so he half rolls onto his side. For a while he just lays there. Cocooned in the warm dark, looking out the window, at fresh snow that swirls backlit against streetlights. Somehow the room feels safe, and cozy, and less like a place he just goes to fall asleep or do homework. The therapist would call that progress if he still went to them every Tuesday.

Falling snow reminds him of Katara. Of that day when they went to the coffee shop. With a groan that sounds more like a growl he rolls onto his back and puts an arm behind his head. The hand resting on his stomach taps out a rhythm.

Even a month later his body remembers her—warm and small and laughing—cuddled against him. It had seemed like too much to handle at the time. What kind of loser jerks off to the memory of giving a girl a piggy back ride? But now he wonders what would’ve happened if he’d pulled her into an alley that day and kissed her. Maybe everything would’ve been different if he’d been braver. Probably not.

Reaching into the front pocket of his jeans, he fishes out his phone and turns it on. Light flares brilliant and white and makes him squint. It’s almost eight. He ignores the next texts from Sokka, the Ultimate Frisbee group chat, and an unknown number to pull up Katara’s conversation.

Katara Foster 2:49PM text me when you get home k?

Feeling a little like a jerk, he taps in, got home a couple hours ago but needed a nap. Then he erases that and sends home instead. That makes him feel more like a jerk but he’s barely had time to feel the full weight of his jerkish behavior when the three little dots that signal an incoming response pop up.

Katara Foster 7:53PM good

Katara Foster 7:54PM are you like super tired?

Even with the nap he feels kind of worn at the edges. But he dutifully says not really why? She reads the message immediately but it takes a full six minutes for her to reply. Zuko imagines it might be because Sokka started doing something obnoxious or GranGran needed help with something. That doesn’t help the nerves. Especially when the three dots pop up and just. Stay there. Taunting him.

Katara Foster 8:02PM meet me at the coffee shop

Katara Foster 8:02PM please

Of course she’s beaten him there. She’s hunched over a steaming cup of coffee that’s cradled in her hands. When the bell above the doorway goes off she looks up, instinctively but not hopefully, like she’s already done this a few times. Except this time it’s actually him. Or at least he assumes that’s why her entire face lights up and she straightens her shoulders and the coffee cup is left forgotten on the table. Zuko barely has time to brace himself and open his arms before she’s in them, face pressed tight into his chest, fingers digging deep into his leather jacket.

“Hey,” he says. It feels like the air’s been knocked out of his lungs and it’s not just because she slammed into him. One arm’s curled around her waist reflexively but he tries to smooth the other over the back of her skull because he’s fairly certain she’s shaking. “Hey, are you okay?”

Katara pulls back very carefully but stays in his arms. It’s okay. Now that he’s touching her, he’s not sure he could let her go, even with everyone in the coffee shop eyeing them. He can’t remember if she’s always felt this delicate or if maybe he only thinks she feels that way because he knows she’s not invincible now. Zuko wants to pull her closer and wrap her up in his jacket. Keep her safe for once.

“I’m okay, I’m just so glad you’re here,” she says. There’s a very soft lilt to her voice that makes him think she’s holding back tears.

Not thinking about the consequences, he leans down and presses a soft kiss to her forehead, lets himself stay there for a moment as he breathes in the scent of her. He pulls back. Katara’s got her eyes closed. The lines of her face are still and easy in a way they hadn’t been before and he realizes suddenly how tense she’d actually been. Slowly, like someone coming up from a deep dive, she opens her eyes.

“I’m here,” he says. Their eyes lock. It occurs to him that she is steel and glass layered together so firmly that he’s not sure if he’s glimpsing the vulnerability beneath her strength or the courage beneath her fragility. “I’m here,” he promises.

Somehow they manage to completely avoid talking about it.

At first, in those hazy moments in the coffee shop in the hour before closing, Zuko thinks maybe it’s because they’re still too raw. Or because the coffee shop is too public. Or even because they’re too enamored of being around each other again, their knees bumping under the table, her hand eventually settling on his bare forearm like an anchor.

But the last three days of winter break go by and they’re around each other constantly. They have the opportunity. It’s just that they don’t want to, maybe. So it’s like:

One day, they’re sledding in the park with everyone from the Foster’s neighborhood, including one boy with a shaved head who watches Zuko with intense suspicion. Another day, they’re walking through the mall with Sokka and Suki, playing with the Christmas decorations that haven’t been stripped down yet. That last day, they’re going to the indoor pool at the local YMCA so Katara can do some back to school thing for underprivileged elementary students, and Zuko can’t even remember how he got dragged into this when he hates the pool but it’s worth it for the way Katara smiles at him over the heads of thirteen shrieking eight year olds.

After the YMCA, Katara offers to drive him home but Zuko says he’ll walk. It’s only a mile and a half. It’s not even snowing now. What he doesn’t say is he needs time to think because it finally occurred to him as she ruffled her towel over his chlorine damp hair that she’s waiting on him.

Walking is a bad idea. He wakes up the next morning with a sore throat, a stuffy nose, and the kind of vague headache that feels like being underwater. Uncle takes one look at him and says to text Katara for the homework.

The door to his bedroom creaks open. Uncle left him alone after lunch to nap. He’s not sure if he actually slept. It feels like maybe he has.

“No more tea,” he groans. Uncle force fed him an entire pot, he’s pretty sure, and his throat feels better but if he never has to drink another cup it’ll be too soon.

Someone laughs and says, “You sound terrible.” Dread, or mucus, clogs his airways as he turns over to face the doorway. Hazy winter sunlight softens her edges. Zuko watches, feeling bemused and enchanted, as she pushes up the sleeves of her loose cable knit sweater to her elbows and puts her hands on her hips. Purposeful. Amused. Fond. Home improvement stores don’t have paint that can match the blue of her eyes. Zuko can’t breathe and he’s pretty sure it’s not just because he’s needed to blow his nose for the last nine minutes. “You look terrible.”

“You’re awful,” he says. Rolling away from her, he fishes around in the covers for his little packet of Kleenex. Nothing immediately meets his fingers. So he tries to sniffle without it being loud just to get the worst of the snot controlled. Which of course means it seems to echo off every available surface.

Another laugh, muffled this time. “Wait, I need a picture for Sokka.” Floorboards creak beneath her weight and he hears a heavy bag dropping to the floor. The bed dips beneath her as she puts a knee on the edge.

“No,” Zuko says. With great feeling.

“Aw, c’mon,” she says. One day he’s going to figure out how she can sound teasing and worried at the same time. Leaning over him, she grabs the packet of Kleenex and puts it into his hand. “A picture for me then?”

“No,” he says. With even greater feeling.

Katara’s lower lip juts out just a bit. If she’s trying for a convincing pout then she’s failing because he knows what he genuine pouts look like. They involve a slight crinkle at the corners of her eyes, like she’s trying not to cry. It’s a manipulative pout and he’s on to her. “But…” she says. “I need it.”

“Why?”

One of her shoulders lifts in a shrug. “To prove a point. Mostly to Song and Jin. This would prove that you are not handsome and brooding at all times.” Arguably, he’s not handsome at any times. He can’t say much about the brooding. Why Katara would care about any of this in the first place he can’t imagine. “None of the girls at school would think you were some mysterious bad boy if they could see you with a runny nose.”

Since he clearly has no fucking dignity left as she looms over him and confirms that he looks exactly as pathetic as he feels, and that she plans on letting everyone relevant in his age group know as much, he makes deliberate eye contact and blows his nose in a fresh Kleenex. Being herself, Katara maintains eye contact, and then once he’s done goes, “Feel better?” It’s a challenge. Like he’s ridiculously gross and she knows they’re both acknowledging that fact. But also like she wants him to know she saw that petty display of pissiness and she’s above it. Zuko could tell her she doesn’t have to bother. Everyone already knows she’s the most terrifying girl in school. Reaching toward his nightstand, she grabs an entire box of Kleenex, probably one that Uncle left during one of Zuko’s many naps. Handing it to him, she says, “I think you need these.”

“I might hate you,” he says, batting the box away so it thumps onto the floor.

There’s a flicker behind her expression. Fleeting helplessness writ large in the way her eyebrows nudge toward one another and her teeth catch her lower lip. Gone before most people would really catch it. But he caught it and now he’s reminded that she’s not the most terrifying girl in school when it comes to him.

Feeling like a jerk, again, he reaches out and wraps a hand around her wrist. It’s cool to the touch because of his fever. Rubbing a thumb over the soft skin of her inner arm, he says, “I didn’t mean it that way.”

“Don’t be,” she says. “I shouldn’t have pushed. You don’t…” It kills him a little, how she pauses, her eyes settled on some loose thread in his comforter. Even though he knows she won’t say it he knows what she’s thinking. You don’t let yourself be vulnerable. Disappointment clings to those unspoken words. Because Katara’s waiting on him. After giving him all the rawest parts of herself on a silver platter. Katara’s waiting on him. Or maybe not, because her eyes are shuttered and her smile now is strained, and she’s saying, “I’m sorry,” like it’s an absolution.

Panic claws at him and he fumbles for explanations. Zuko’s never been good with words and sick muddled as he is they refuse to come at all. In his mind there are the memories—of being sick after his mother left and burning his hand on the stove while he made chicken noodle soup because his father would not feed him if he was weak and he hadn’t eaten for two days—that he needs to share with her so she’ll understand but he can’t figure out how and she’s standing up with that same strained smile as she murmurs goodbyes about letting him rest.

If he lets her go now, he thinks, there will never be another chance.

Zuko uses his grip on her wrist to tug her hand to his face. Most of the skin of his scar is dead, nothing to feel there but pressure and the occasional pain that comes with sudden weather front, but he swears he can feel the rasp of her fingertips as they settle over the ruined skin. Katara doesn’t look like she’s breathing. “Stay.”

Now she sucks in a shaky breath. Her free arm wraps around her own waist like she’s trying to hold herself together. “Why?” she asks. “You haven’t forgiven me. You haven’t even asked if I still—”

Focusing on her glassy eyes, he says, “It doesn’t matter.”

Katara lets out a choked sound and pulls her hand free of his grasp. Wraps her other arm around herself. “The hell it doesn’t,” she says.

Later, he thinks he’ll try to figure out how things went this bad this fast. How they got from gentle teasing to restrained tears. How they even managed to reach this point in the first place instead of exploding or fizzling out so much earlier.

But this, at least, he has words for. Zuko’s voice is hoarse and awful and steady and he tries to gentle it for her but he has to say it, whether she wants it or not, because he can’t lose her like this. “I realized I’m going to choose you being in my life because I can’t imagine not choosing you.” In the hazy winter sunlight, she’s still soft at the edges and so beautiful it aches, and he’s willing to beg. “Please,” he whispers, “Stay.”

Tears build like a flash flood in her eyes and go spilling down her cheeks. One of her knees bumps his ribs as she scrambles onto the bed and tumbles into him. Ignoring that he’s sick and gross and wearing a sweat stained tee she crawls under the covers and presses against him full length. All their limbs are tangled up together. It feels natural to wrap his arms around her and pull her closer. Anchor her into him so that maybe the world will stop tilting wildly on its axis or maybe that’s just his inner eardrums protesting. But when she touches his scar again it’s achingly gentle and she’s saying “I’m here, I’m here, I’m here.”

#what do you mean i'm several months late?#i am several months late but i'm trying y'all #like zuko i'm trying #and failing #kaii writes zutara

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