#im still having a rly good time

[luck-of-the-drawings]

so REVENGE, HUH? or justice, if that makes you feel better. it tastes the same when cooked just right. 'I REALLY WANTED A BROTHER.' such a shame to burn a bridge you so desperately wanted to keep, especially when it wasnt even you who started the fire. especially when you hope that not a single fragment of that bridge ever washes ashore.[MAY IT ROT FAR FROM MY SIGHTS] an unfortunate loss! atleast he has his friends.

#jrwi fanart #jrwi show #jrwi prime defenders #jrwi prime defenders spoilers #jrwi pd spoilers #jrwi pd #william wisp #vyncent sol #THIS ONE IS FUUUUCKIN OOOOOLLDD RAAAHHHHH i made it like. a year ago. but didnt finish it for so so long bc i just wasnt happy w it. #BUT LIKE A CENTURY EGG the decades of being encased in salt n lime n ash have done WELL to bring out the flavores of this piece #i sorta recently cleaned it up and posted it onto twitty. didnt tag it bc it was SO OLD AND SCUFFED(i see so many MISTAKES NOW) #that i didnt want to expose it to the open air just like that #if i show smth to my small circles then it shall only be understood in those small circles. #open air and open interpretation from minds i cannot predict are NOT something i enjoy the thought of. usually. i am brave tho #BUT EVERYONE ON TWITTY WAS SO NICEEE i was like damn... i guess it IS good enough to be enjoyed by the masses... #lets work on being nicer to our art together. THAT BEING SAID. i really love my colors here HELL YEAHHHH #FIRST TIME IN A WHILE COLORIN THESE BOYS.... i dont use proper color enough..I ALSO RLY LIKE MY BACKGROUNDS HERE #i LOVE when the bg is hyperrealistic (i frankestiened stock photos) and when the subjects are all flat colored n cartoony #recently rewatched Making Fiends and they do that similar thing!! soft shading! lotsa details! almost painted? ill paint one day #ive already rambled so much abt the art im runnin out of ROOm to ramble about WWWIILLIAM GODDAMN WWIIIISP. its been a minute since i saw- #-this episode..but i DO remember the funny smoke trick that will did to his funny brother. EVERYTIME U GIVE AN ORDER. THAT BRINGS HARM- #-INDIRECTLY OR NOT. YOU WILL HEAR THOSE SCREAMS. YOU WILL FEEL THAT PAIN. OHHH WHAT A COOL PUNISHMENT THAT IS #its still an olive branch in a sense! a final chance for big bro bell to show that hes NOT an irrideemable piece o shit. and if not #well. to the wolves of psychosis with him!!! i really think william did the best he could here. if i was in his shoes i have no doubt i- #-woulda done the same. IM ALSO GLAD THAT VYN DECIDED TO STICK AROUND N SUPPORT HIM! thas character development baybe!! #i loooove prime defenders.. its been so long since i watched any eps of it but i KNOW it still has such a grip on my heart..GOTTA rewatch i

[midnightclover]

Summon Night: Swordcraft Story (ATLUS, 2003)

#my actual posts lol #haha what if i made a daily diary post thing like nico #..i was just thinking #today was a good day #and i thought of this song #ive been playing summon night swordcraft story a lot as of late.. though none today actually #its still on my mind though #i considered using dweller empty path's song flying through a stary sky instead.. but this is what i thought of first #i think it fits best to use it #i actually had to jump through some hoops to upload music! #cus my tumblr app is kinda old.. i cant properly upload music. i could only put a link #which isnt exactly ideal #so i tried in my web browser.. but maybe its cus i havent updated it in a while or maybe just cus its tor.. it didnt work #so i downloaded firefox and did it on there lol #now im editing it in my drafts back on the app #dont ask why im not just doing it on my computer... shes having some technical difficulties. we're working on it #but not today #... #today was pretty eventful.. even if not very productive. but ive never been a very productive person #we went and saw some light festival thing! it was rly nice.. a little simple at times but it was fun #we went and got some yummy snacks earlier too! tho ive already eaten them all hehe #and i started up animal crossing new leaf. i hadnt played it in ages! its startling how much better it is than new horizions.. imo at least #only problem is i couldnt make it the same as my island.. and i didnt remember why i named my last town #we searched for a while for some reference or somfin to name it after.. but we ended up just going with ''faraway'' #cus i liked the idea of being asked where im going.. and just saying far far away #and as beth said it has a kinda fairytail vibe! #...only after i named it did i realize i accidentally named it after the town in omori. oops! #...im about to hit the tag limit. so whoevers still listening i just want u to know.. #i love you. ok? #goodnight

[skitskatdacat63]

"To dream the impossible dream, that is my quest." - Prince Fernando of Asturias

+ Seb not getting what he ordered

+ the usual

Hello yes, look! It's baby Renault Fernando, isn't he so cute??? Who wouldn't want to force him into an arranged marriage, like cmon man be real. Here is the progress as usual, as well as his suit without the design, cause I'm pretty proud of it just blank even!

Okay so this is pure Fernando, innocent Fernando, before he had his apirations ripped way from him. Well not fully ripped away tbf, because that's the crux of his character: is it more humiliating to never succeed or to only succeed because someone handed it to you with concessions? I guess that's up for him to decide though ;;;

The thing I love about this drawing and young Fernando in general is how much easier it is to see his and Seb's similarities. Look how similar they look! Seb is just a bit more evil.

I think that's a big part as to why his feelings about Seb are so complicated. He both loves and hates how similar they are. From an egotistical point, he can appreciate and respect the familiar traits in Seb, the hunger, the exuberance, the pride, the ego. But also we hate seeing our own traits in other people, it's almost like turning a mirror on your worst traits and suddenly being able to see yourself from a new perspective. The biggest point here though is that Fernando turns that resentment onto Seb, as a way to clamp down on self hatred.

He becomes more bitter and resentful as he grows older, and loses a lot of his whimsy and joy. So it hurts him to see Seb, who in addition to getting everything he's ever wanted, also retain his whimsy. He, wrongly, just sees it as something that had to happen in order for him to grow up fully. It's more of a survival tactic, it started becoming unbefitting for him to have that level of unfounded confidence. That's the main reason he sees Seb as childish, immature and undeserving. He hasn't fully grown out of his capacity for whimsy and joy, and thus is below Fernando.

Well that was depressing oops! As the chibi art represents, this is probably a painting Seb got sent in the early days of planning their marriage. This is the Fernando who is still prideful, the Fernando who is still confident, the Fernando Seb vaguely remembers meeting his youth. Seeing this definitely pushes him even further towards the marriage(though tbf it's not like he even has a choice either.) Though when the time to actually start courting comes around, Fernando looks very uh different. This is both a joke about how different Fernando was in his first renault stint vs his second. But also I think he does show up very moody and disheveled, as a sort of last chance way to try and turn everyone on Seb's side, including Seb, off from the marriage. However, it's pretty much a done deal by that point.

Seb is uh, definitely confused, but I think he would be drawn to Fernando regardless. Actually, this might make Fernando even more appealing. Seb gets to push him all the time, try to break down his walls and get a glimpse at the real Fernando, if even just for a moment. Seb wishes he had more that just a blurry, vague recollection of Fernando at his peak confidence. Fernando definitely grows into something resembling his past self, after recovering from all the hurt, but there's just something about youthful exuberance that can't really be fully replicated.

Okay so about the quote. I went with Don Quixote this time instead of the typical Napoleon, because I thought it'd be funny. Fernando picks up the book at some point during his youth, and it inspires him a lot. He doesn't really see the satire in it, and comes to really admire Don Quixote's mentality, he's like "wow he never gives up! That's so admirable!" It definitely helps him through dark times to aspire to never give up no matter what. Though later Seb definitely rags on him for not knowing it was satire, and Fernando is like "wh-what do you mean satire?" But he's mentally strong enough atp for it to not cause his whole worldview collapse. About the quote specifically, there's definitely some part of him, even when young, that knows his aspirations are borderline impossible. I wonder if that part of him feels weirdly safe and comforted about the marriage. Yes, it's not ideal, but it's safe and secure. He gets what he wants, and there's no chance of anyone taking it away from him, no matter what.

I think his title would be Prince of Asturias? It was either that or duke, and I think prince fits him bettee(Machiavelli reference?) That title is currently the title for the heir to the Spanish throne. In this time period, it's also commonly used for the heir, but for Fernando it's a bit unsure. Like in real life, he's not directly the offspring, but he's still the most obvious choice for heir. But there's still enough room for Seb and his house to try to vie for the throne themselves, so it makes it all complicated.

#*btw that quote is from don quixote just so thats clear. creds to Cervantes lmfao. i explained in the read more why ! #hahahaha all my lore and tags and everything got deleted so i had to rewrite this all. original post you will live on fondly in my memories #^ i was half asleep writing it the 2nd time so i hope its still good? #its always going to be inferior to me but ig it doesnt rly matter bcs im the only one who actually got to read it ha #anyways super happy with this ahhhh!!! #it was so much fun to draw. i got to focus more on the fashion and its great as well bcs renault's colors are fire #im also glad to draw him bcs i feel like ive neglected hima bit compared to the others! its been a fair bit since ive drawn him #i cant remember what else i said here haha so ill just say hope ya like! #im still happy with the characterization notes and lore in the read more so def read it still!! #and as always please inquire if you have any thoughts or question abt the au #fernando alonso #f1 #formula 1 #<- it gets more and more absurd every drawing to tag this but ah tradition ig #catie.art #boy king au #vettonso

[oatbugs]

it's just not going to work it feels bad but it has to happen but breakups that happen when nothing in particular has gone wrong and it's just an issue of like...paths in life/compatibility etc etc, where otherwise you actually rly do love the person, are so hard !! like i care for u i still want to be ur friend it just wont work in a romantic way !!

#its 1yr+ relationship too i care abt her so much #we just both deserve to feel fulfilled and i dont currently feel that way its not rly her fault i think we were just meant 2 be friends #and not lovers but somehow that makes it worse ?? like im glad im not on bad terms w her ofc i love her a lot #but it makes it harder to get over yk #....i hope we can still be friends idk idk !! #she has been my best friend for a while #breakup happening in 1 week from now. i keep delaying this decision but it rly rly has to be done #we r just...fundementally missmatched and we both need to be w ppl who we can grow with #i think we could grow together if we were just friends but aughh its sl ahrd ik being friends after a breakup rarely ever works out #my friends say its like a 50/50 chance if u break up on good terms #anyway being the person doint the breaking up is hard !!! #also i have been doing kind of super badly recently and i think i need some time to figure stuff out w my own mental health too

[cinna-bunnie]

i love black women

#speaking of not beating the beautiful angel allegations!!!!!! ｡⁠:ﾟ⁠(⁠;⁠´⁠∩⁠`⁠;⁠)ﾟ⁠:⁠｡ ♡⁠ #(⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴗ⁠ꈍ⁠) i went to a black beauty store earlier for more leave in conditioner and the cashier was such an angel #she had a TLC shirt and i complimented it n we started gassing each other up (⁠｡⁠ﾉ⁠ω⁠＼⁠｡⁠) ♡⁠ her edges were so pretty #it was a rly nice time and she called me beautiful and love (⁠✿ ‚‚⌒‿⌒‚‚) i am still so happy i got to talk to her today #i don't ever rly think about how i wear my natural hair out but I'm glad it's appreciated for being worn that way ♡⁠ i love u #only another black person would tell me this and the love i felt in there rly makes me miss living in that town instead #i don't get to talk w black folk as often here ｡⁠:ﾟ⁠(⁠;⁠´⁠∩⁠`⁠;⁠)ﾟ⁠:⁠｡ it's so nice when i get to but augh.. maybe i should move back lol. #it's not far away 🧐 it's just the next town over actually. and u could drive through my town in like ten minutes and not even know you were #in it lol #anyways 🚶🏾‍♀️ I'm feeling myself rn and im hype and that girl was an angel fr i hope she's having a good night rn

[tsukana]

i think im really sad that im feeling bitter abt this bc like. despite the fact that ppl are saying oh yeah its purgatory its never fair. i have a bad taste in my mouth that for once it feels like its not bc of player action its partially to do with weird ruling by the admins on the event (re: the essentially. disregarding of the event points on elimination which i still kinda dont get why they couldnt just retally the points since they had the numbers?)

#tsu talks #qsmp crit #qsmp discourse #i mean yeah i was rooting for sneeg but also. i hate that he's blaming himself that if he hadnt spoken up theyd have lost anyway. bc it #wasnt his fault? #and not trying to hate on the admins at all or anything. but despite saying the wrng names #recalculating the scores and just Saying what the score makeup was wouldve solved everything without making streamers need to stream beyond #what they expected on a day that shouldve been primarily abt the egg wars event? #anwyyas shutting up now. this isnt meant to be a super neg or something post this is mostly just me reflecting on the way i feel abt today #and the way today went and the way the event went today. i still had a good time so far #and like i said. i feel sad that i feel this way bc i dont WANT to feel this way. btu like. what can i do abt that yknow. thats just how im #feeling. i really wanna enjoy the event but honestly now that sneegs out he was rly the only purg2 pov i was watching lmao. id watch #etoiles but i cant read translations while im listening at work </3

[pothospant]

his default recall is so cool..........

#not me arts tag #ive never used his default skin so i didnt even know what it looked like until now....ough #i wish u could mix and match sounds or recalls with skins................ #i honestly forget half the time hes supposed to be like. Cool and Suave and a Competent Badass #because my brain is always like. god hes so small and floppy and will die if you breathe on him wrong #also hes always crying and breathing heavily in my ear so im just like. poor guy #he should be at the bed taking a nap not fighting....... who made him fight.... stop that he doesnt belong on the battle field #he might be a badass hitman or smth but my brain is like #this is just a sad theatre kid who took gymnastics #''aphelios how is your assassin training going'' aphelios who has only been reading the acrobatics textbook: my what #is there anyone still reading these tags. hi there #i have a lot of thoughts on him. im very obsessed with his animations #like he has a laugh animation for every weapon....... #all the various weapon animations... #maybe the real reason we wont have a legendary for 10 more years is all the animating they have to do #i mean his base animations are so good id honest be like OK if they reused them #cant rly do much better than already Top Tier animations #unless we get an alune legendary..... #hope alune is super awesome and badass and all the aphelios voicelines are a really shy awkward guy or smth #like you look so cool and awesome fighting and the whole world doesnt know ur listening to a lil guy in your brain the whole game #the contrast would be very funny methinks #if anyones still reading this. yes i know riot made up some reason about budget or whatever for voices #but i choose to believe aphelios is head empty no thoughts and thats why he doesnt talk to alune #(STILL GOOFY OF A REASON... lots of VAs can do both genders of voices.... like. what about kindred and kayn....) #then again wouldnt be surprised if they were overbudget on the animations but still smh my head into oblivion #can relate to a guy who simply doesnt wanna talk #(said after 10000 tags of talking to myself) #i should really put my thoughts onto a separate post or blog or something #anyways have i mentioned i think hes really cute

[54prowl]

I remember being taught in primary school how to cook and preserve food and sew and make compost and landscape and use hardware tools. home economics you are special to me.

#ooc #it's so so vital and I'm grateful for our curriculum for adding HE despire my initial disgust of it #i made my own shorts one time all handsewn and it felt so good #lord bring me back to the simpler days #not rly djtkskkf #but like i composted so well that i got the best mark in my class... #i still know how yo stitch from muscle memory #all this and im a city slicker btw we did not even have a garden

[crownconstellation]

miku day…………………

#i don’t remember if i ever said anything here but that is why im in colorado….. seeing miku w my good friend oz…. #the lcd thing is rly disappointing ofc but im still excited!! we’ll still undoubtedly have a great time #bri.txt

[cynicallyneutral]

how do u like ur toast? i’m bored as hell and will do literally anything but draw. lemme know which and why, and what do u put on it (if u do)

#honestly i will literally do anything but draw #these past few months ive been doing…idk if u can like #call it self care or what #but i been tryna eat a lil better and move a lot more #so i been playing basketball #not like a match or whatever bc idk shit #and then lifting weights and running #bro i swear to god i have weights in my room now #kirishima are u proud of me #ive also been looking to join some kickboxing classes #literally doing anything BUT draw #HAAHHAHSHHFHFH #but HEY!!! im stronger than before now #and i wanna learn how to punch a bitch and make it hurt yanno #and hopefully one day i will be able to lift my weight and more #god i rly do wanna go back to drawing tho #but i do wanna keep on playing bball #and still lift weights #and theres just so little time like why do i have to choose like this #i also wanna be good at dancing #listen theres just so much i wanna do now #i miss drawing #this looks like an ad ngl

[toastsnaffler]

dating an art student was so crazy I'm just thinking abt that one birthday I had where my ex got me stickers from the etsy of the person they were cheating on me with....

#they made them address the thank you note to me and everything ajskfjfkfb. i didnt know they were cheating at the time but wow... #every time i break out my sticker collection and see them im reminded of it. but i cant throw out the stickers theyre deltarune ones 😭 #like they were a rly cool artist.... just unfortunate that happened 💀 #the drama was insane. my ex only wanted to sleep with them but they (other person) wanted them to break up with me so they could date #but my ex dumped them rly harshly for suggesting that i guess 'romantic' cheating was a step too far even for them lmaooo #i heard abt their breakup secondhand and god could they be cruel sometimes. they made fun of the sex theyd had w them #to all their mutual friends n everything i actually felt so bad for the other person when i found out. at least our breakup wasnt that bad #i only finally got that cruel side of them directed towards me like a year after when they wanted us to stop being friends #but yeah. its also funny in a way bc my ex only suggested i had adhd bc the other person did too + struggled a lot with rsd #which i guess they found out when they broke up with them. and then looked at that and thought huh my gf is kind of similar... #and this was like. 2 years before i even considered i had adhd myself and sought diagnosis ahdkfidjcjdjfjfjfkdbfnf #this made me go look the other persons art page up on instagram + then i recognised some of their friends/flatmates art pages and i found #their (my exs that is) grad year film which is still being shown at animation festivals... good for them good for them #i dont think they have an art page themselves tho cuz they were always v shy and weird abt sharing art on social media #like everyone else except them is tagged on things... shame i wouldve liked to see what they were making now. even if we're not friends #also one of their old roommates made some REALLY similar squid game fanart to mine like a month after i posted it huh.. #not mad abt it or anything i think its cool i just didnt realise they showed my art to their friends. thats cute #ah this was years ago anyway. getting my head out of the rabbit hole #im gonna go play some elden ring and then maybe do smth fun in my sketchbook we shall seeee #.diaries

[dykeinthedark]

venting in tags about gender n shit (long as hell) (u can comment and talk 2 me as always :3)

#okay so i got a really masc haircut about a month ago and i know it's just a haircut but holy shit has it changed EVERYTHING for me #like.... i've always leaned masc except 1) before i came out 2) when i was actively in love with someone who i knew liked femmes #and they always described me as a fem. because that's what i showed her. because i wanted to be with her. #but lowkey whenever i'm in a not-impressing-anyone raw-dogging-life-no-crush era i always resort to a very masc style #like masc being my default and i'd only lean fem to impress people whether it's for love or peer pressure in a specific setting #like ''dressing up'' has always been a form of drag to me. like something i HAD to do to fit in or impress my parents (scott favor core) #but ever since this haircut i've realized... i could just BE masc innately like i really don't have to be womanly if i don't want to #which i usually don't. again i have only ever dressed fem for other people. but it's not even being masc that attracts me on its own #it's like. being masc in a distinctly lesbian way. as in whenever i look in the mirror i don't wanna be like a Guy i wanna be a dyke. #like lesbian as a gender identity too sort of thing honestly. okay i've been waffling but basically i sort of want to call myself butch #but i don't know if i like... can?? if i'm allowed to??? #everyone always says it's MORE than just wearing boy clothes and not wearing makeup and having short hair (which i already do all those) #i mean i've always id'd as genderqueer because it literally just means gender weird and i experience gender in a queer way #what's probably the most telling is that my friends (all queer) CALL me a butch lesbian #like every time they do i feel really internally validated. it's not just my clothes but my personality too ig is what people tell me #i have a higher pitched voice relatively speaking but apparently the way i talk is quote ''very clockably into women'' #which?? gender euphoria asf. my best friend specifically he (gay trans guy) always uses butch to describe me very intuitively #people have also noticed that i ''transitioned'' in all aspects except hormonally. like ppl have commented and noticed my masculinzation #but at the same time i always feel rly haunted by my ex relationships because one wanted me to be more masc #(she's the one who came out as straight and would treat me like a man) which i didn't like and i didn't like playing up being fem either #bc now it feels like she (butch) won't believe me if i called myself butch too bc she remembers me being femme #idk i feel like there's her voice in my head all the time that sees everything i do through her eyes (i'm lowkey still in love) #i feel like even though this comes so naturally to me i must be putting on a performance #even though i've actually read stone butch blues and done research into the history and i truly love and id with the culture like i rly do #that im still just a sad imitation of a butch lesbian and can never really be a part of it because i used to enjoy dressing up sometimes #like it's so stupid but can i still be butch if i wore a dress to prom and i think i looked good in it?? #even though i was envious of my friends who wore suits?? that i used to try goth makeup?? that i liked long dresses?? #that i enjoyed stacked necklaces and rings on every finger??? #and tbh ALL OF THAT CAME FROM A CONCIOUS EFFORT TO FEMINIZE MYSELF IN JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL WHEN I WAS 16 #because omfg it was 2 months before junior prom and i was worried that i was too masc and wanted to get comfortable with being fem

[hydrodragons]

RAHHHHHHHH LETS GO FINALLY A KAFKA HAVER

#i lost to welt at 83 pity 💀 but im not even mad bc at least it wasn’t my millionth copy of gepard or yanqing #also it’s my first welt and he’s good with ratio apparently so i might try them out later idk #ALSO IM NOT MAD BC I GOT KAFKA 13 PITY AFTERWARDS WHEW my luck is still good in hsr thank god 🙏🏻 #i got e6 sushang too!!! rly happy with that bc i told myself i would build her once she’s e6 and here we are 🫶🏻 #i have too many goddamn characters to build but i absolutely despise relic farming 😩 #save me good dmg numbers save me #now time to save for sparkle next patch 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻 #lou.txt #not genshin

[milkweedman]

Sunset today

#finally used my brain and got some more meal replacement shakes #like as many as i could reasonably afford. which wasnt many but still #hoping they are as non-vomit-inducing as last time #kind of bad vibes about it considering the last time i was also having an insomnia time and was miserable #and going insane #but hey thats like. always at this point #anyway. work was super slow so it took all fuckin day to get as much money as i needed #and now i am so tired and im going to listen to hermitcraft episodes and knit for a while maybe #i rly hope Having Consumed Nutriets will fix how much i feel like a ghost bc it is not good lads #not good at all #photography #chronic illness

[leonbastralle]

hello

this is annie, u might (if at all) remember me as romeo-and-simulet. recently i logged into this account for the first time in 4 years and i havent opened ts4 for the same amount of time basically so its safe to say i wont be getting back to that any time soon.

i have been feeling like hanging around though, hence the Rebrand TM (i couldnt stand my old url any more skfjhskdfs) thats making me feel more comfortable to reblog and interact w things that i enjoy! so i just wanted to make a post explaining this just in case someone sees me pop up on their dash and is like who the fuck is that skjfhskd

that and also i got some messages asking how i am during the time i was away which i thought was very sweet so i just wanted to say that im alive and im actually pretty happy right now! thank u to whoever stuck around and i hope whatever i end up dumping on this blog is enjoyable

#i know some ppl were wanting me to get to gen 8 and i felt guilty for not doing that for a long time sfjkshkd #but i rly wasnt having a good time on simblr for a while before i left #smth smth a new group of ppl does what u did but apparently in a way that ppl prefer but w a lot of rules u cant/dont want to follow #so u feel inferior and have a crisis #and also u realise that some stories maybe arent urs to tell #u know how it is #these days im playing a lot of smol indie games n i also marathoned pokemon up to swsh and i was big into skyrim for some time #also i unfortunately got even more into football f #just some things that might pop up in my reblogged things or maybe ill share some pictures of the games ive been playing too?? #s/o to my wife who does that n its v cool #anyway thats that ill try to get back to the messages too i hope u guys who sent them are still around

[rosykims]

ive played dao like 9 times at this point and still. and STILL the isolde/connor decision has me tearing my hair out gnawing my keyboard stomping around the house ready to lie down and never get up

#tay plays dao #in saying all that: i had an epiphany and im now at peace with elspeth killing this kid :) JKFJGKFG #I HATEEEEE IT I HATE THIS CHOUICE. AND YET. AND YETTTT #oc: elspeth #sigh. the things we do for rp........ #so my reasoning is : she's the most moral/lawful/goody-good character you can find and lawful good in the truest sense of the term #so blood magic just isnt an option for her #also she does lothering > circle > redcliffe so she's seen what blood magic is capable of and its way too fresh in her mind #and as a noble with literally zero experience or understanding of magic... what shes seen of blood magic is SO bad she isnt abt to risk it #(i also dismiss the circle mages option outright because she wont risk redcliffe and the castle all dying while shes out wasting time) #but still its like... when she walks into that room prior to making the Choice she's so ADAMANT that she wont be killing a child #and upon leaving she still feels that way. again she doesnt rly know that much about demons so shes still like ok maybe i can just #incapacitate him?? reason with him?? #bc thats what would happen to a hero in a story. they would find a way. there would be a happy ending. and she believes in happy endings #and she rly does see herself as the hero lol. #and then it doesnt happen and shes forced to make the choice and it absolutely destroys her sense of self. bc heroes dont DO that #and the story wasnt supposed to turn out this way !!!!!! and realizing this isnt some story and shes actually going to have to do #Horrific things. its a turning point for her #also a turning point for alistair and her relationship w him. bc he'd also put her on a pedastal this whole time #and now hes like. oh. all that honor and bravado is just something youre making up as you go huh #and then they have to get to know each other as flawed complicated people. not just.... ideals that they created of each other??? #WHEW. THIS IS LONG. SORRY. #DRAGON AGE SEASON BABEY LETS FUCKING GO LOL