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crypticarus · 6 years

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yeah so because of recent events and all regarding sh/adam here comes this:

This is my last post on this topic.

Either way I tag them as #discourse from now on. I know I am personally very uncomfortable with discourse generally and this blog is dedicated to my art and I actually wanted to actively avoid any discourse. But this is a topic that hits closer to home I need to vent it out.

But mt opinion, long story short is: I pretty much despise Adam because he expected Shiro to choose Adam over his own happiness and so far hasnt done anything to redeem himself. Explanation under the cut.

So, as I mentioned in previous posts: fuck Adam. I'm not gonna dip any deeper into how I think Shiro deserves someone who will be able and happy to unconditionally support him and how I think that person is Keith and how much I love Sheith because of it. I'm not even gonna mention what Shiro deserves or Keith after this.

So, I watched episode 1 of the upcoming season and finally i feel better making a post about Adam now.

In the end, though, it didnt change anything on my previous opinion.

Adam's decision of not waiting for Shiro and leaving him because of the Kerberos mission and because he simply didnt have the mental energy to seeing someone he loves deeply suffer, is selfish but understandable. And there's nothing wrong in being selfish. Although even if obviously the stress people who have disabled beloved ones is nothing compared to what the disabled person has to go through, it doesnt change the fact that it's still stressful and everyone, whether disabled or not, has to decide for themselves what is best for their mental stability and health and if they want to put themselves through such stress or cant. Deciding that you cant doesnt make you evil. Wanting your loved ones to be safe and alive and well isn't wrong.

Still I cant go all "I love Adam!!!" and "he did nothing wrong!!" not because I'd be prioritizing Shiro anyway, but because of Adam's ultimatum and how Adam saw one option as the right and one as the wring one.

"Takashi, how important am I to you?". That's what Adam said. I dont remember how exactly Adam phrased it but after that he outright told Shiro that Shiro would have to choose between having Adam in his life or the Kerberos mission. Between someone who Shiro loved and wanted to be with for the rest of his life or a dream he obviously had devoted his whole life to, the dream of his life. Between Adam or winning the fight against his disability by not going down without a fight. Because we know that there was no hope for Shiro no matter how much he rests and all Shiro could do was decide what to do with his remaining time. (I have an idea of what Shiro's disease is, and if it is then I have some experience with it, which makes it all the more personal to me and makes me all the more angry at Adam and anyone who sides with him.)

And I know some people are okay with giving up their dreams or ambitions to be with their loved ones. Shiro obviously isnt that person though.

Shiro was disabled. Shiro knew it was a miracle he had come this far anyway despite his disease (Adam did say Shiro already broke all sorts of records) and he wanted to go further. He didnt want to stop already. To Shiro it probably felt like giving up to his illness if he had stopped. As a disabled person giving up to your illness is the ultimate defeat. Personally, I'd much rather die. Adam KNEW how much value the Kerberos mission had, that this is the last chance Shiro would get. Yes, it was a life-threatening mission, but Shiro would rather die than give up to his disability, or so it seems to me.

Think about what a miserable life that would be to Shiro. Think about how depressing that would be. Adam would rather see Shiro alive but miserable with no real chance of recovery than what? Dead? No, because no one would want Shiro as a pilot if they thought he wouldnt make it back alive enough and able enough to safely pilot them back. They wouldnt even have considered him, but obviously they did. So Adam would rather have Shiro in regret and miserable surrender for his last few years before the disability kicks in full than achieving his ambitions and being happy and proud. And all because of being selfish? All because ADAM didnt wanna be alone? I would get it if Adam's concern would be that Shiro wouldnt pilot them all back safely, but that obviously isnt Adam's real concern here if he starts iff1 with "Takashi how important am I to you?".

That's what rubs me so wrong with Adam, that's why I really hate him, to be honest. I'm not saying he's evil or a person you should hate and demonise. Adam is just human. But honestly? What does it tell me about you if you absolutely adore Adam after thats all we get from him and you think he did nothing wrong in wanting Shiro to give up his ambitions for him? What does it tell me about you that you'd want Shiro to come back to earth to Adam, who gave up on Shiro? That you'd want Shiro to regret leaving Adam, regret not giving up on himself? If you dont think Adam needs to apologise and redeem himself, if you think Shiro is in the one in the wrong-

If it weren't for the ultimatum, I wouldnt hate Adam. If Adam had just said he couldnt bear seeing Shiro suffer then I would let Adam go like that. If Adam had said he thought the mission is too risky and he couldnt bear waiting for Shiro to come back, I wouldnt judge Adam. If we meet Adam again and he apologises for his outburst to Shiro and means it, Adam redeems himself in my eyes. I still wont like him and I still dont think he's deserving of Shiro. I still wont want them to be together because I think if Adam didnt have the strength to be with Shiro with his disability until the end, then how can Adam be sure to be able to be with Shiro now that he's scarred (both literally and figuratively) from a galactic war Adam hadnt been there to experience and therefore couldnt ever truly comprehend the consequences of?

Adam isnt truly evil for what he said. Evil is a much stronger word I reserve for truly evil people. Because people say bad things under stress, say things they dont mean or regret, voice their thoughts in a wrong way all the time. Or sometimes they mean what they say but think better later, realise their mistakes and make things right. Stress does that to you. But owning up to it is what counts. Owning up to the consequences, owning up to people not liking you for that anymore or leaving you or outright avoiding you and despising you, that's what makes you a good person.

You can tell me all you want how Shiro should think about how his actions make other people feel. That he should have considered Adam's feelings and think twice about the Kerberos mission. Amd I hope he did. If not that was wrong of him too. But we all have to make our choices and decide when to be selfish or not. When to prioritise ourselves over other people. When you have to leave people for the sake of ourselves. Being selfish all the time is obviously not a good way to go, but leaving your life completely up to others and only living for other people's sake and be miserable for it isnt either. If you're going to live to make others happy then do it only if it actually does make you happy, too. Shiro wouldnt have been if he had. He knee that. Or maybe he would have been anyway, but neither decision would have been wrong of him.

Shiro risking his life to achieve his ambitions was part of his fight against his disability. It was part of not giving up. Adam couldnt respect that. He disrespected Shiro's struggles not by leaving Shiro but by forcing Shiro to choose between him, or winning that fight. Thats why I think Adam did something extremely wrong. I hate Adam because I hate people who prioritize themselves over people's recovery and happiness, expect people to, and then have the nerve to not even regret it.

In retrospect it wasnt really Adam giving an ultimatum to Shiro that was wrong. It was Adam expecting Shiro to choose him and get angry at Shiro for choosing his own happiness over Adam's.

Again, if Adam regrets it and owns up to, apologises, then I will hate him less. I will still dislike him, but I wont think he's a bad person. But so far that's not what we got and until we see that I wont think Adam did.

So miss me with all your pro-Adam and Sh/adam or A/dashi posts. Miss me with all the "voltron better end with a reunion and a wedding between them!". It makes me truly uncomfortable to see it. Im not bashin on the pairing either, you can ship whatever you like. I dont think people who like Adam or want him to get together with Shiro again are bad people because of that. I dont think people who understand and not dislike Adam because of his actions are either. I wont hate on people if they dont understand why this is my opinion or simply didnt take the step of spending all that much thought on the morality and seriousness of it. But man am I uncomfortable with people who take Adam's side.

#discourse #this is my last post on that or any discourse i swear #vld spoiler

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