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#im so used to it but its still so much to put up with all the goddd damn time and all the time having to pretend that im ok or sane or
rafeandonlyrafe · 1 day
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first moments
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words: 1.5k
warnings: mom!reader, dad!rafe, established relationship, brief hospital setting, anxiety (from rafe)
“rafe, wanna do chest to chest?” you hum, eyes mostly closed, the exhaustion from labor still affecting you.
“i…” he stares at you, and then at your son, resting against your chest, maternity dress pulled open so he's against your skin, his face resembling the exact same one rafe makes when he's sleeping. “its okay, you keep holding him.”
“okay.” you say, looking down at your son. it didn't take you long to decide on a name. leon andres cameron. leon after rafes grandfather and andres after your own. a good strong family name. 
“he's so perfect.” rafe whispers, his voice cracking slightly.
“come closer.” you beckon, rafe moving his chair closer, but still keeping his distance, making you frown. “what's wrong?”
rafes mouth opens, but no words come out. you pause, hand petting over leons back.
“wait…” your mind starts to piece together, still foggy from the delivery and drugs. “you haven't held him yet.”
“i-” rafe stumbles over his words, knowing he's been caught. “i can't. he's too tiny. too perfect. i-i don't want to ruin him.”
“ruin him?” you frown. “rafe, you're his father. get over here.”
you struggle to scooch over on the hospital bed, but manage to make room for rafe to sit down next to you. he even sits carefully, gnawing at his lip as you turn leon over, keeping him asleep as you turn him face up, supporting his neck the whole time.
“just cradle your arms. it's okay, you'll get used to it.” you watch as rafe moves his arms before placing leon in them, having to cover your mouth when the sudden urge to cry hits you, leon looking even smaller being held by your husband.
“i love him.” rafe whispers, voice cracking, a few tears sliding down his cheeks. “i love him so much.”
“look how relaxed he is in your arms.” you coo. “i knew you'd be a good dad.”
--
“god, im so nervous.” rafe looks in the backseat where you’re sitting, leon buckled tight into the carseat.
“its okay.” you hum, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “just drive slow.” “yeah, of course.” rafe nods. he barely puts the car above 15 miles per hour the entire ride home. leon thankfully stays asleep, you’re not sure if you could have handled just leaving the hospital and having him crying on the way home.
“okay, here.” rafe takes a deep breath as he pulls the car into the garage.
“you got his carseat?” you ask. your body is still recovering from birth, and you’re not sure if you can lift anything up without tearing.
“yeah.” rafe undoes the carseat carefully as you get out and unlock the house, happy to be home after two days spent in the hospital.
“mmm.” you breathe in the fresh air. “my eyes are so happy after all that fluorescent light.”
“um- watch out baby.” rafe hates having to have you move out of the way so quickly, but he can hear leon beginning to fuss and needs to get him inside.
you giggle and step away, watching as rafe quickly rushes to unbuckle him. he looks to you to get him out of the carrier, but you allow rafe to scoop him up, shushing him and gently rocking him back and forth.
--
“i got it.” rafe offers.
“no, he's hungry.” you groan, already feeling your breasts swelling with milk just from hearing his cry. “i can tell.”
“im sorry, baby.” rafe sighs, staying in bed as he tries to get back to sleep. no point having both of you completely exhausted.
you manage to settle leon, feeding him in the rocking chair rafe got you before you gave birth. he almost wakes when you transfer him back to the crib, but you get him down and back to rafe, crawling into bed next to him.
“i wish i could do more.” rafe sighs. so much of you is required from leon, not just the pregnancy but now needing to feed him. rafe tries to take care of anything else you could need, but he struggles with not knowing how to do things as basic as changing diapers.
“you're learning fast, rafe. it's okay.” you move closer so rafe can hold you, snuggling into your back, his hand gently rubbing over your hip.
“i don't deserve you.” you know it's just the exhaustion talking. you grip his hand in yours, squeezing three times, saying the words without needing to speak.
“we should sleep while he's asleep.” you say, rafe nodding and pressing kisses to your shoulders and upper back until you're pulled back to sleep.
--
“shh, leon, it's okay.” rafe looks around for you, surely you must have heard leons cries. you said you'd be just a minute, running to the beauty aisle to grab your conditioner before returning to rafe shopping for groceries.
rafe pushes the brim of the carrier back, his heart breaking as his sons little face scrunches with big tears rolling down his cheeks.
rafe isn't sure what to do, so he just lets his instincts guide him as he quickly undoes the seatbelt and lifts leon into his chest, being careful to hold his head just as you instructed.
the second leon is against rafes, his cries lessen, and then all together subside as rafe bounces gently.
“is he okay?” rafe looks up to see you hustling down the aisle towards him.
“yeah, he was upset but i got him.” rafe pats leons back gently, turning his head to press a kiss against his cheek.
“okay.” you let out a sigh of relief, tossing your conditioner into the grocery cart. “want me to take him?”
“no, im good.” rafe shifts leon a little as you start to walk, pushing the carrier and loading the bottom up with more groceries, especially all the things you couldn't have while pregnant but are now safe despite still breastfeeding.
rafe doesn't miss the way you keep looking over at him with light in your eyes, excitement evident at seeing how comfortable rafe is becoming with leon held snuggly in his arms.
--
“are you sure?” you ask, frowning as your eyes flicker between leon laying on the couch cushion and rafe sitting next to him, focus on your baby as he makes silly faces at him.
“baby, i know i struggled at first, but this is one weekend. you have plenty of milk pumped. ill be fine.” rafe scoops leon into his arms as he stands, walking towards you.
“besides, if i need help i can always call your mom. even wheezie, you know she'll be happy to see leon.” rafe shifts the baby to one arm while his free hand comes to cup your cheek. “go. please, i will miss you and leon will too, but you deserve a break.”
“okay.” you nod, getting on your tip toes to press a kiss to rafes lips before also kissing leon, who lets out a familiar cooing sound.
“im gonna text my girls.” you can't hide the excitement in your voice, pulling out your phone to confirm you'll be able to go to the girls spa weekend away. 
“i want nightly face times with you though baby.” you poke leons little nose, whose cheeks stretch into a smile.
--
“oh my god, rafe, is everything okay?” you squeal, squinting at the screen as if it'll somehow make leon appear.
“yes! fine, i promise.” rafe points the camera down so you can see leon happily on his lap, already looking tired as bedtime is quickly approaching.
“why didn't you pick up the first time?” you ask, a lot calmer now that you have eyes on your baby.
“leon and i were just getting home. i took him to the park. he couldn't really do anything but be in the carrier but he liked watching the other kids play.” rafe looks down at leon, giving him a little tickle under the chin. “isn't that right buddy?”
“did you-”
“yes, i put sunscreen on him. and he wore a hat. and-” rafe stresses before you can interrupt. “i reapplied sunscreen after an hour.”
“you're the best.” you smile. “you know i never doubted you rafe, it's just-” you take a deep sigh. “i worry so much about him. and making sure he's happy.”
“and he is.” rafe assured you. “look at his little face.”
you feel tears well up in your eyes as you look at your husband and your son, snuggled together on the couch. you quickly take a screenshot while they both have smiles on their faces.
“you're such a good mama. leons lucky to have you, and so am i.”
the tears are now falling down your cheeks as you smile. “i love you.”
“i love you too. and we miss you, but go enjoy your night with the girls!”
“okay.” you nod. “you're right. ill be home tomorrow around noon.”
“got it.” rafe holds the camera closer to leon. “say bye bye to mommy, leon.”
the call ends with his smiling face looking back at yours.
sfw taglist: @bejeweledreverie @winterrrnight @ladyinbl00d @ethanthequeefqueen
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teddybeartoji · 2 days
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lets pretend that i didnt lost this and had to retype it
listen me listen me right !!! back to wolf toji and bunny reader with shiu as the caretaker that lets toji get away with too much but also loves spoiling you bc your just so sweet and adorable
one day, shiu comes home after running errands and tells you and toji that he got a collar to help with toji's biting problem since he knows the both of you will be going into heat soon and he doesn't want toji biting you like a chew toy
toji's grumbling, snarling at shiu that he's not putting on a damn collar but he's confused at the tiny pink thing shiu pulls out. its a cute pink collar, thick but with soft cushioning on the inside a big heart ring in the front. probably for a leash or something, but toji knows that thing isnt going to fit on him.
"it's not for you, mutt," shiu grins playfully, ignoring the glare toji shoots his way at the nickname. instead, he walks up to you and clicks the collar on you, stroking your hair as he coos at how pretty it looks on you !! "its so that if the big guy goes into rut while im away, he wont rip into your throat because he can't think with the right head," shiu jokes, flicking tojis nose.
but a week had passed since then and you had come to like the collar. not just because of how toji would tug on it to pull you into a kiss or how shiu would tug it to get your attention on him when you were fixated on something else. no, it just looked pretty on you!!
one day ur left at home with toji while shiu goes out for the day for business stuff, whatever boring things he had to do. that poor man didnt realize you were going to literally get turned into a creampuff with in 30 minutes of him leaving
toji is INSTANTLY on you when he realizes shiu is gone. poor thing is too rut-brained that he cant even figure out how to get the collar off so he's just gnawing on it, sinking his teeth into the leather as he growls about how stupid the collar is for covering up your pretty neck from him, that shiu doesn't know what he's talking about, all while he's ripping off your clothes.
shiu told the BOTH of you to let him know if either of you go into heat so he can come home and be a good caretaker and make sure you both are still eating and drinking water and that toji doesn't accidentally bite his cute lil' bun too hard anywhere. so, he expects you to tell him to calm down and wait for shiu to get home like a good little bunny, but instead you just look at him over your shoulder with the cutest little pout and tell him 'jus' the tip won't get us in trouble, right?'
and he tries, he tries soooo hard, just fucking his tip in and out of you but then you get pushed into your own heat and you go from reminding him only the tip to 'why aren't you putting in more?? do i not feel good enough??? why dont u wanna be all the way inside me toj???'
and he's shutting you up with one thrust to push all the way inside, shushing you through huffs and growls, telling you he'd stay inside of your sticky cunt for the rest of his life if he could, that you were so hot and wet just for him and he never wanted to pull out of you, keep you nice and stuffed full of his cock and cum until your tummy gets a little bigger from how full he's pumped you with his seed
cue shiu coming home to the two of you fucking like animals (hehe) on the living room couch, your face pushed into the cushions and ears flopped down while your little cotton tail is swishing around like crazy, hearts practically in your eyes when you realize shiu's home, because now he can watch and see how good toji is, see that the big wolf should be able to bite you because hes so good, he's fucking you so deep.
plus, you'd look even prettier with toji's bite on your neck instead of a collar :33
I AM LOSING MY MINDDDD
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LUNNNIEEEE????!!!!?!?!??!!!????? HAKDJSJWJFVDKDNEJ YOU'RE AMAZING YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY INSANE AND I LOVE YOU. FIRST OF ALLLLL OMFG I JUST KNOW SHIU COULD NEVER SAY NO TO YOUU AAAUUUUGHHHH YOU FLUTTER YOUR EYELASHES AT HIM AND HE'S ALREADY FOLDING (AND TWITCHING IN HIS PANTS)(HE'S SO WEAK)(HE'S SO HOT). SECOND OFF AAALLLLLLLL... "GET TURNED INTO A CREAMPUFF"😭😭😭PLS THAT MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD I ADORE U SO MUCH<333
AND MMMMMMMMM TOJI'S DIRTY TALK ALWAYS FUCKING KILLSSS MEEEE FFFFUUUUUCCKKKKKKK "HE'D STAY INSIDE OF YOUR STICKY CUNT FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE IF HE COULD" 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴 WHATTHE FCUUUKKKKK WAIT ANDAND THE MEAN GRIN HE'D GIVE SHIU??????? HE CAN SEE THAT SHIU IS HARD JUST FROM WATCHING TOJI FUCK YOUR BRAINS OUT AND IT'S ALL JUST SOOOOOOOO🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴
THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR THIS FUCKIN GMEAL IDK WHAT I DID TO DESERVE YOUU HOOLY FUCKKKK<3333
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togament · 3 days
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i am RATTLING the bars of my enclosure thinking about togame im so insane about him its not even funny hebrgkdlcjfslfj
i love his nose shape bc its not one i see very often on characters but like i KNOW he puts it to good use while ur riding on his face I CAN FEEL IT IN MY BONES 😩😩🥵🥵🥵😩😩😩😩😩🥵
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STAAAAWP. bc that’s the exact reason why i fell for him holy shit (and the exact same dirty thought SHDJNDDNDN) how are you literally meeee? i legit paused the episode he first showed up at and ran to his wiki. i have a thing for guys with pretty, beautiful, gorgeous noses ok (and the fact that i could kinda rub up against them when i—)
"when togame’s nose fucking distracts you (same) when you’re out in public. you’re needy and he’s more than willing to provide."
𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : TOGAME’S NOSE OH MY FUCKING GOOOOODDDDDuh, togame palming himself while he eats, swearing, fem!reader, squirting, SLURPING, togame’s a GIVER, oral (female receiving) ((good for you)), sliiiight breath control play if you hold a little magnifying glass to it, togame straight up jorking "it", and by "it", haha, well. lets just say his peanits, togame.
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staring up at your boyfriend, you can’t help but admire his features. how soft his gaze always is, how he pouts slightly every time he’s deep in thought, how he hides his dimples when he laughs but they still show even at the slightest smile.
but what really gets you, what really grinds your gears, is his nose.
“let me sit on your face.”
“hm?”
“…Let. Me. sitonyourface.”
“eaaaasy, baby. what’s got you worked up all of a sudden?” he purrs.
———-
NSFW under the snippy snip. MDNI. nobody below 18 pls mua mua mua.
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you’re hovering your sopping wet cunt over your lover’s face now, his hot breath kissing the insides of your thighs with both of his hands cupping your ass, giving them little squeezes to ease your descent. looking down at him, his lustful gaze never leaves your form. Watching you slowly lower yourself onto his face, he blows upwards and onto your glistening folds. you clench over nothing and he lets out a hum.
“lookin’ so pretty fer me, bunny,” he coos, not even trying to mask the absolute desperation in his voice. “all wet just from my voice alone. missed me that bad?” you nod, lowering further, further. his nose brushes against your clit and you gasp. he’s fully aware that you love his nose, how you focus on riding his face only to bump your clit onto it. gets you every single time.
the grip he has on your ass eases up as you fully seat yourself on his face, your cunt directly on his tongue. you let out a soft mewl as you feel his thumb raise the hood of your clit, exposing the more sensitive bud underneath. it’s absolutely engorged and fat now.
he’s torn between savoring the taste of you and just fucking you senselessly. he missed you as much as you missed him, after all.
that could wait, he realizes.
he’s enjoying the view above him.
his rough thumb flicks at your clit while you continue seesawing on his tongue, unbidden curses and moans escape your kiss reddened lips. you swear you could feel his tongue moving, tensing it and laying it flat for you to ride on. but then you move higher, higher.
rubbing your sensitive nub against his tall nose. his thumb holds the hood of your clit back as you help yourself to the pleasure, expertly riding his face like you often do when he gets you alone. if he could, he’d stay like this forever. eating you out, having you cum on his tongue over and over again.
you’re riding faster now, practically humping his face with your fingers tangled in his curly, jet black hair. god. he can’t take it.
he starts palming himself underneath you while you ride his face into oblivion, getting off on the fact you’re getting off on his face. plus the added restriction on his breathing is making him feel dizzy but in the best way possible.
moaning underneath you, it sends vibrations up your core. you let out a salacious moan and that further eggs him on. with one hand, he pulls his gray sweatpants down to finally pump at his cock, moaning louder into your cunt. god. this is the closest to heaven you'll ever be without dying.
your grip on his hair tightens before your breath hitches, growing more and more staggered with every moment that passes. you look down again and you meet his eyes. like he's silently telling you to cum. throwing your head back, you continue riding, and riding, and riding....
just cum.
and you do. fuck, you do. squirting down his lips, the liquid dribbles down his neck and into his hair. but god. he's holding onto your hip hard with one hand when he follows you, cumming just after you did, groaning into your pussy. you whimper, relaxing your muscles that have been taut the entire time you were chasing that high. meeting your boyfriend's eyes once more, he fucking winks at you before he maneuvers you, pinning you underneath him on the couch. he pulls you in for a much deserved cuddle, massaging your shoulders while he coos at you. "was it my nose again?" "...yes."
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a/n: ehehehehe togame and his fucking nose, brother. i'm so so SO happy to know we got togame nose fuckers around too. i see you.
a/n 2: togame knows you’ve got a thing for his nose btw :)!!!!! he’s a sweet boyfriend BUT!!!!! he can be a little shit if he wants to be. uses that shit to his advantage.
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chickensoupbmc · 21 hours
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Transmasc Michael+Transfem Jeremy (they're best friends)
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Them!!!! (Michael is doing her eyelinerr 😛😛😛💥💥💥💥💥)
(⚠️yap alert under the cut⚠️)
THIS!!!! BWBDGDHDGRBF YES!!! OKAy so I think about this headcanon a lot and in my mind how i basically think it would be is that Michael came out in middle school and Jeremy/ Emmie came out maybe near the beginning of senior year in hs
I think when Michael came out in middle school Jeremy was like "why would you do that though?? That does not make sense to me like why would you want to do that" and Michael was nervous Jeremy was transphobic at the time but Jeremy literally just could not understand why a 'girl' would ever want to be a boy. Eventually Michael stopped worrying about that because Jeremy was very supportive of him, he just genuinely couldn't exactly understand it
I think that after the SQUIP and stuff when Jeremy stops suppressing who he wants to be and whatever he starts to realize he wants to present a lot girlier than he does currently. He eventually comes to realize maybe he sorta wants to be a girl. And that scares him. I think at first he doesn't believe he could be trans. He'll overthink a shit ton with stupid stuff like "well I never acted like a GIRL as a kid, it's not like I know I'm supposed to be a girl, its just that I wish I could be!! That's not trans is it?" or "maybe im still just frazzled over everything that's happened lately, maybe I'm just confused or misinterpreting myself" and just stuff like that.
I think he'll EVENTUALLY bring it up to Michael and Michael's like no that's trans as hell dude. And they work it out together. I think Michael would be super excited over the idea of maybe Jeremy being trans too. He'd put in a lot of effort to try and support her (?) as much as possible.
Once Jeremy's sure that's who she is and that she feels happier thinking of herself that way, then she'll pick a new name. I headcanon she goes by the name Emmie because I've seen some other people in the fandom use that for her (ne0-gal comes to mind, + I've seen 1 or 2 others) and I just think it's cute. + Emmie is like Jeremy but like without the Jer and spelt funky. It makes sense to me okay I swear.
I think she'll start with little things in her transition (like growing out her hair, painting her nails, maybe subtle jewelry, and she might wear girly outfits at home / Michael's house, but not in public yet), since she'd be way too scared to just jump into anything. But I think in college she'll be a lot more out with it and stuff. 😛😛😛😛 okay guys that's all I'm gonna yap for now but I swear I think about this all the time
(I use the pronouns a character went by at the TIME when I am talking about them in a certain point in the past because it makes more sense to me ((and I myself am trans so I am not doing that with any sort of malice)) but if that makes people uncomfortable I can go back and edit this !!)
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cardboardclownery · 3 days
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CRASHES THROUGH A BRICK WALL
HI HI IM ALIVE!!!! sorry for the relative radio silence on here ;v;
on the topic of that actually!!!! finally have a proper folie a deux au update for you!! though its slightly different than expected?
me and professional buddy and fellow au creator @cookiecaker decided to share a summary of the story we're making for the au beforehand since we'll be taking a whileeee to finish it,,, got a lot of life to live and horrors to create "-v-
after this though you mayyyy or may notttt see some out of order chapter drafts posted for the story as well,,, or atleast one? eh youll see ;Pc
ANYWAYS!!!! this is gonna take a while so lets get on with...
THE FOLIE À DEUX DOAI AU
a summary!!
or story pitch? idk-
(cookie please lemme know if i miss or improperly describe anything here feel free to correct me-)
PART 1
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the first three chapters follow alex just after the end of volume 1 as theyre abducted by lankmann and confined to his asylum as a "patient." eventually they get sent to winfrey as food, but winfrey refuses to eat them. theyre left to die in room 66 by lankmann for a Long While, until eventually he gives up and just puts alex back in their room
while alone in confinement, alex starts noticing strange things happening... dark patches start appearing on their skin, they get random pains as if someone were kicking them, and they hear a voice... a much clearer voice than the ones they used to hear while working in the asylum, and it seemed to be able to read their thoughts. though they originally just assumed it was due to being part of their thoughts as well, they find that they start knowing things they had no way of knowing and never learned prior to being confined. when lankmann typically entered room 66, how long hes inside, certain areas of the asylum patients found that theyd never heard of before...
this "voice" managed to help alex find a way to escape, leading to them running away and moving to another, smaller town in eastridge than the one they originally lived in to avoid lankmann's pursuit
PART 2
[ ! tw for cannibalism. yes you heard me- ! ]
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so after getting far away from the asylum, alex assumes that their hallucinations and weird symptoms of... Something would wear off, since subject 02 was no where near close enough to affect them
well uh. nope! theyre still there!!
so eventually alex figures out "oh shit that thing is in my head somehow" and is obviously quite concerned!!! to say the least!!!! but theyre also oddly comforted by the idea of having The Voice in their head, since now theyre not entirely alone while on the run and i mean it helped them escape so it cant be that bad?? either way theyre not exactly excited about the whole ordeal and theyre starting to look different and theyre really hungry all the time and its not fun
so! at some point (with winfreys suggestion) alex decides to run off to another town a bit farther away just to be safe. but Uh Oh theyre all out of food!! so theyre extremely hungry, forcing themself through it so they can get food when they arrive but. they see someone in the woods while walking
and for some reason that makes them even hungrier
they try to ignore it and keep walking but they cant
and the next thing they know
theyre looking down at a person
chewing off the flesh on their leg
covered in blood
even after regaining their senses they cant stop themself from eating. it tasted... so good... they were so hungry... they felt awful but it really did taste so s o g o o d .
in a haze, they discard the body, clean themself off and reach the next town. just after unpacking in an apartment, they collapse, flooded with the emotions they fought off on the way there
the next day, alex finally confronts winfrey (or winfreys voice rather-) about all their grievances and they eventually reach an understanding, as winfrey opens up about fearing the outside of the asylum despite longing to escape through alex, so they eventually agree to let winfrey pilot their body for a few days to get a feel for how the world has changed since the time winfrey had been free
in doing so, winfrey realizes how small and helpless humans are in comparison to them and how terrified the patients they devoured mustve been. this allows them to appreciate human life (specifically alex's) much more and want to escaped in their own body to join alex outside and introduce clyde to what they learned after finding it again
while piloting alexs body, winfrey is suddenly forced back into their own after lankmann inflicts enough pain to wake them from the dissociative state that piloting alex left them in. soon after this, winfrey overcomes the fear that was originally keeping them from escaping the facility and breaks out
PART 3
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this section is a lot less figured out than the rest so uhh bear with me please ;v;
essentially this couple of chapters just follows alex and winfrey as they get used to life on the run, figuring out where to go from there and how they could potentially find clyde, along with just talking face to face and getting used to that. its a weird feeling talking to someone that you share thoughts with yknow? like talking to yourself but its... not... yourself...
around the start of this section winfrey also expresses that they feel drawn to feminity as a human concept, thus being referred to with they/she from this point on in the story!! transfem winfrey yippee!!! it just makes sense in our head idk-
PART 4
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alex and winfrey start noticing news broadcasts and posters asking around for a "dark figure" lurking around, as well as warnings about alex being missing from lankmanns asylum. this fuels alex's paranoia, leading them to seeing lankmanns caretakers everywhere, feeling as if theyre being watched wherever they go... until eventually their home is ambushed and theyre taken back into lankmanns custody
alex is essentially used as bait to get winfrey to come save them from the asylum, since lankmann couldnt find a solid lead on where winfrey could be. alex tries to convince her not to fall for it, since they can both tell this is what lankmanns trying to do, but winfrey eventually caves and breaks back in to help alex, getting trapped inside once again
PART 5
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depsite the circumstances, winfrey and alex do their best to stay determined and keep looking for a way out, but they dont make much progress. to make matters worse, lankmann tries "live feeding" patients to alex in the same way he did with winfrey due to realizing that alex has veldigun traits and assuming that theyd have the same appetite as her. this isnt the case, and eventually lankmann switches to dead patients as food for alex, which theyre forced to accept due to lacking any other options
both winfrey and alex are miserable in the situation, the helplessness sinking in fairly quickly as alexs body begins rejecting the growing veldigun portions of itself, decaying under the immense stress
during their final moments, winfrey pilots alexs body to allow an atleast somewhat peaceful death as their consciousness fades away, leaving winfrey alone to reflect on all that had happened...
...and thats the official end of the story!! i had like,, a hypothetical epilogue/alternate ending where lankmann forces a Mind Merge with winfrey somehow and then gets killed and she breaks out again but like. idk the logistics of that are iffy and i kinda prefer the more melancholy end for something like this ":]c
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ANYHOW!!!! hope that was!!! something!!!! please feel free to ask questions or provide feedback or anything else im always happy to engage with my fellow freaks (affectionate) :]
ALSO IF YOU MAKE CONTENT BASED ON THIS AU LET ME KNOW I WILL DIE FOREVER alright thats it for real this time- stay safe broskissss BP
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thesamoanqueen · 3 days
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Blackwater XX
Warnings/AN: I should apologize for the drama but its my trademark at this point, I'll just say that there's a flashback and a couple of references to previous chapters. As soon as possible I'll create a masterlist dedicated to the series, because I have contents that I want to add since we are at the end. Lemme know if someone wants a tag there too~
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Trouble ahead.
He showed up unexpectedly, grumbling about the mud that had gotten on his expensive shoes, the usual penguin-like gait and Jimmy rolled his eyes, waiting for him to finally reach them because they couldn't have continued at all if he was around. And it had nothing to do with a tactical move to hide plan from the enemy, it was simply impossible to ignore or avoid Paul Heyman and if once Jimmy would have laughed, now Paul was just annoying and the expression on Jey's face proved it.
- "Nice place, in your style" – he commented, without greeting or trying to pretend too much – "reminds me the days I used to come visit your dad, both of you were three, four maybe" – and Jimmy folded his arms.
Sure, their style wasn't their cousin's luxury stuff, the one Paul had accustomed him to. At that moment he was probably having breakfast in a restaurant downtown or a sauna to cool down his muscles, but he too had cut his teeth at the garage near Oak Wood Hills. Jimmy still remembered the afternoons spent there after school to see the red Jeep Cherokee that Roman had become obsessed with, he bought the damn car as soon as Uncle Sika came back from one of his trips and now instead he drove around in black businessman's SUVs and looking after the community with checks he couldn't spend on himself.
- "Did you get lost Og? Want me to call your daddy so he can pick you up?" – he asked and Paul must have had colic judging by his reaction.
- "No. Im here to talk."
- "Wow really?! Mind-blowing!"
The colic became a reproachful look at his sarcasm, but still Jimmy was not impressed and when Jey decided to come closer to support him, Paul wisely quit, once again showing off the best acting skills to save his ass.
- "Even though I remember what was said at the meeting, Im here with good intentions. Of course, it hurt me if I have to tell the truth, I don't understand where the aversion against me comes from... but despite this I couldn't refuse in my heart to help" – he began and Jimmy blinked confused.
- "Have you had a heart transplant?" – he urged, matching his attitude.
Paul didn't take that joke well either, but he had nothing to complain about, everyone knew how things were. The wiseman didn't help anyone if he didn't have something back, goodness was not among his qualities and it was impossible he had found some of it within himself now that he was personally involved. His feelings worked on command, according to occasion and business.
- "He thinks I'm dumb ass" – Jey said out of nowhere, staring at him.
He had crossed the edge since the boys' were dragged into the family mess and now his goal was just putting an end to it all. For him that war was an unbearable burden, Jimmy knew how he was, he knew Jey just wanted to start over, have some peace and he didn't like Paul's fake visit because it also added provocation to his worries. He would probably have put up with Roman, but not Paul, Paul wasn't family to him and those turns of phrase were making him nervous.
He heard the wiseman noises, trying to stay in control even though Jey's gaze didn’t help his attempts.
- "What? No, of course not, I’d never think bad about you! The Tribal Chief had chosen you as his right-hand man, a fool would not have had such an honor or right to speak in family business."
He thinks we're both dumb.
That stunt pushed Jimmy to clench his fists in annoyance, but didn't have time to silence Paul because his brother really didn't seem in the mood that day and had come forward again.
- "I had no right. He take all the decisions, with you, from day one."
He hadn't been around when that deal or alliance or whatever it was between him and Roman had come about, he'd been forced away from home for months, but Jey was there and kept him updated on everything. They had kept him on the sidelines of the family business from the beginning and the right-hand man title with their tricks had become a joke they made real when it suited them. Jey had taken it seriously despite everything, he had committed to the vision and tried, but it only make him run everywhere and get beaten. When Jimmy came back everything was already done and things had even gotten worse after.
- "Jey…" - he heard Paul negotiating trying to slow things down, realizing maybe that his sweet words were no longer having the planned effect - "when you're at the top you often find yourself in unpleasant situations, it's not for everyone, you're starting to understand it too how it is bearing the weight of that position. At the meeting you made some choices... let's say questionable ones... listening an advice would have been right for you if I may, to judge pros and cons. I'm here to offer you a second chance, I care about you even if you don’t care about the wiseman."
Jimmy hadn't expected his brother to discuss those terms in front of the elders, it had been strange and even he had been amazed, because Jey hadn't talked to him first about anything. But whatever plan he had if he had one, leaving a door open for Solo and even Y/N, Jey didn't need any second chances, especially not thanks to Paul. Jimmy was there to cover his back and it would always be like this, he didn't need counselors and dogs licking his feet to sleep better at night.
I can handle him.
His offer echoed through the link, but Jey didn't answer.
- "I know you're angry now and maybe it won't seem that way, but all this will help you, trust me it can be good for you, it's part of your journey to take the place of the Tribal Chief one day" – he persisted and Jimmy decided to step forward, ready to send him back to where he came from with good ass kick.
- "Imma take his place next week" – Jey stopped him, voice far too calm.
The day. It was just a week away. At the dawn after the harvest moon things would no longer be the same. Jimmy had been hoping for a change for years now, in the last few months he had chased it like a breath of air, now that was so close it was an almost surreal feeling, but Jey already seemed in control and ready.
- "It could happen... of course..." - Paul hesitated, avoiding answering to Jey push - "its essential, however, that the family is preserved and all of this, lemme tell you, is a dangerous gamble now. The elders have agreed to restore order, but we're all worried about what will happen next, them, me, your parents, even Y/N... poor girl, she can't rest knowing what’s going on and what could come" - he tried, pulling out an apologetic face that he could have avoid considering what relationship he had with Y/N.
- "None of them should be. The only one who needs to worry is you, because when I'm done, you'd better be far away. Bring back your advice, speeches and ass to my cousin, Og, don’t make say it twice" – Jey quickly silenced him though, stopping his tantrum by placing a hand on his shoulder.
Jimmy watched him stiffen as if someone had growled at him, face pale and shaken, his gaze going from Jey's fingers to eyes, which had been fixed on him from the moment he showed up. The realization of failure hit him right in front of them, a mixture of affront, anxiety and worry that Jimmy watched Paul shake off in the same way as Jey's hand, scrambling a few steps back to make room between them. He nodded to who knows who, body shaking as he sorted out his expensive clothes and pride.
The harvest moon was near, so their mother said. That year it was time to reap what they had sown.
***
Devil's Point, that's what the sign they passed on the way said and it really must have been one of devil’s tricks, because Y/N felt her stomach flipped. Or maybe wasn't the devil, maybe it was just another perfect date, pleasant anxiety, wine and fresh air caressing her warm face, sun slowly sinking beyond the strip of sand and trees, setting the sky on fire. Maybe the devil was Roman, with his gentleman manner, so confident, constantly eyeing her, always attentive, his low velvet voice. The bond had always been there, in her veins, in her bones. An invisible impulse born with them, as their lives went on and years passed, omnipresent, indissoluble, inevitable despite miles and obstacles. And more Y/N lingered in that trap easier it seemed to fall, normal deserving the life she hadn't had, a security she didn't know and now all around her, emanating from Roman.
Where has he been all this time? We were alone…
- "Have you ever looked for me?" – she asked out of nowhere, putting the dessert away.
A chocolate cake, because it was her favorite and he worked hard to please her, learning quickly and put into practice even the most insignificant details.
Roman looked surprised at the change of subject, putting down his glass.
- "Have you ever looked for me before that evening, when you found me at the camping?" – she asked again, feeling anxiety suddenly hit even though it had been her idea to investigate, happiness quickly dissolve into doubts.
Y/N didn't even know why she asked. It was an uncomfortable question, the search for a mate was a now past custom, too low probabilities and a world where alternatives had now become norm. It was stupid to expect something and unnecessarily provocative, what's more in their case, after all the first few months problems, it sounded a bit like an accusation or an attempt to ruin plans. Roman however didn't lose his composure and she saw him take a deep breath, brow furrowed as he remembered.
- "Years ago. When I finished college, did it for a while, then stopped."
- "Why?"
He looked at her in silence, but he didn't seem angry or bothered.
She needed to hear it, to know.
- "… had become frustrating. I needed to focus on what I could accomplish."
So real. So true.
Few could say they were lucky enough to find their other half. Rare cases, exceptions. Was it sad to meet someone, choose them and fit in? No, most people out there did it like that, she herself had witnessed it with her parents before the horror, but sometimes people couldn't even find someone, sometimes they were not chosen or stopped wanting each other and then yes, it became sad. For Y/N having someone in her life had never been an aspiration, a dream to cherish when night became too cold or silence too heavy. Getting attached was a risk, risks were dangerous and in her case, as an omega, alone and without a family or a community, it was better to avoid rather than defend. She had to be smart, loneliness had kept her alive, had kept her going, was the possibility of filling the void that scared Y/N. It scared her to get used to someone and lose everything again. She knew what Roman was talking about, a perpetual aftertaste on her lips when she moved away from a place and now she was founding out that she had never really been alone. She had always had a chance, someone waiting for her, ready to fill that void that for Y/N had become like an old illness she lived with.
Roman had been looking for her, among so many people, even if only for a while he really had and it was… so reassuring.
- "You didn't" – she heard him reflect, moving closer to put his jacket on her shoulders.
There was knowledge in his voice, a heavy bitterness, as if he didn't need to hear Y/N say it. She watched him take another sip of wine to warm himself or perhaps wash away the taste of that thought, enduring the cool evening for her.
- "I did it once… just once" – she admitted, surprising him and even herself.
She had never thought about that day before, but memory had hit her soon through her she-wolf, perhaps to console him. She didn’t like that look on his face, he was better all cocky and flirting.
- "I have been in foster care for couple of years after I lost my parents. I went from one house to another, it didn't work and I really didn't want to stay. There was a brunette white girl in one of the families, she didn't like me, talking behind my back all the time... I told her I’d find you and make her regret it" – she said, shaking her head at the thought of that childish menace.
Y/N didn't remember the reason for their fight, it could have been anything, she was an unbearable girl herself at the time, but she knew how she had felt. It was vivid in her memory. That sense of not belonging, absolute loneliness, anger, so much anger at the idea of being and being able to be just a stray in the future. The world is too big a place when life decides to give its worst lessons. Y/N had always grown up quickly, she had always learned running, what to be without roots, what to do if there is no one waiting.
- "We can pay her a visit" – Roman proposed casually and Y/N stared at him, because of all the things he could have said, she hadn't expected that.
No pitying comments, no words of comfort or judgement, just a blind complicit willingness to indulge her past madness.
- "Mmh I'm tempted" – she giggled softly.
- "What happened?" – heard him ask and pointed to her arm, where there was a scar similar to the one he had.
- "I stole her dad’s car and destroyed their fence" - she said, making him frown.
She had gotten into that pick-up without knowing how to drive or what to do, it didn’t end well, they caught her immediately and in hurry she had taken everything and everyone down. One of the poles around property had broken the pick-up window and the wire wrapped around it had threatened to blow her arm off, it was a miracle she hadn't fainted there. One of the biggest dumb act of her life and at the same time another lesson, proving Y/N she shouldn't be carried away by her omega impulses, it didn't bring anything good.
- "I stayed in town for a while I think, then left without looking back. I have no idea what happened to the pick-up or her. I didn't find you though... it was enough for me."
Admitting it, thinking about it, made her feel vulnerable. She didn't like that feeling. That attempt had been a failure from the start, chances of meeting him simply by walking a few miles, going to any city, any street, had been zero and even if he had been there, messed up as she was by pain, Y/N wouldn't even know she had found him. She had been stupid, irresponsible, mindless but realizing when it got dark she was still hopelessly alone had been worse.
She shrugged, picking up the dessert to distract and control herself.
It was over now.
- "We'll make things right, you have my word. It will be enough to be together, there's no need to think about it" – she heard Roman assure, once again without excuses or pity, firm in his intentions – "no more car rides though"– he added with a reproachful look that made her smile.
No, there was no need to think about the past. Everything had already changed and Y/N had learned her lesson, but maybe it was time to learn something else, trying not to run away this time. It seemed easy at the time and yes it really all came down to being enough for each other, filling the void with their bond.
For days Roman's routine had always been the same, calculated to the second, with no margin for error or change. He woke up before dawn, shower, breakfast and run, spend the morning in the gym, then lunch and gym again until dinner time, after which he lock himself in the office taking care of the documents Paul brought or business that required his supervision, and then join her in bed when it was already late night and repeat everything the next day. He was locked in a bubble, focused on a single goal, counting minutes, preparing in advance for whatever would or could happen. An absolute, maniacal dedication that Y/N somehow admired. It made her proud to see that he was capable of so much and yet it also made her sad.
Because in the wild run of that family war, she was just a spectator. She repeated to herself that she had to be patient, be understanding, that she had to put aside anxieties and bad moods to support him as better as she could, but it weighed on her. She did whatever not to show it, not to think about it, and despite her efforts Y/N felt everything around her emptying and cooling, her sacrifices devalued and even ignored. They almost didn’t speak to each other anymore and certainly not about what they should have because there was no time for doing it, they didn’t spend together and when that happened he was focused on something else, Y/N had the feeling of having gone back to the days when they were two strangers, two separate worlds united by a thin wire.
She didn't want that, they weren't like that, they had both worked hard to make things work, succeeding, they had truly found themselves at the end. The idea they were affecting their relationship, the possibility to distance themselves so bad to spend a life like that, wasn't something Y/N could bear. They had overcome differences, they shouldn't have burned everything because they didn't see things the same way in war where their relationship was not in play. They just had to meet once again and remember. He had taught her that and Y/N hadn't believed him for a long time, but they really needed their bond.
On the now empty table on the patio, she opened the floor plan of her old house, the one she had had to leave and Roman had given her back. It was nothing compared to what she had now, but it could become something, maybe just for them, a place where nothing and no one could disturb them.
***
Day after day his body pushed further and further, urged by pressure, focused on a single goal from which Roman couldn’t look away. He couldn't afford any mistakes with Jey, Roman knew he could beat him and he would, but his cousin knew him better than any other out there. They were certainly on two different levels, however Roman couldn't allow him to prove anything if he wanted to regain the absolute control that the elders had questioned due to too many mistakes in those months. And it was for these reasons that getting out of his head, stopping and having those breaks had become an annoying obligation that he fulfilled in the shortest time and avoiding any extra thoughts. Lose focus was a weakness, give ground an advantage, something he couldn't tolerate.
When he closed the door behind him, the house was silent as if he were the only one around. It had been like this for a long time, but time had passed. Now it wasn’t empty, Y/N was there and not finding her in the living room as had been the case for days forced him to follow her trail to the outside. He expected to find her busy, but not to see her with all those papers on the table.
Why is she looking at them? Why she got that floor plan again?! Stop her. Now.
- "What are you doing?" – he asked, voice heavy and she immediately raised her head with a weak smile, one that she could have addressed to anyone, not to him.
- "Nothing, I was waiting for you. Is it already time for your break?"
If it was an attempt to push away the conversation or pretend, it didn't work. He knew those documents, he had signed them and he had been clear telling her not to get any strange ideas about her family's old house, and yet she was there looking at them page by page at a moment like this.
- "I asked you what you think you are doing Y/N" – he repeated seriously, convincing her to put them down.
- "I was keeping myself busy while I waited for you to finish. I answered."
He saw Y/N keep her gaze on him, head held high, back straight, but Roman still sensed what was behind, tension, heavy air. It was since he said he would no longer have regrets that Roman had seen her react like this and in the last few days the atmosphere had gotten even worse. She didn't comment, didn't ask, she stopped trying to argue, she was good at not showing it, but his wolf could sense it when he lay down next to her at night, saw the way she looked at him. It wasn't a good idea for her to punish his cousins despite what they had done to him, she couldn't stand the prospect of a fight, she had promised to stand by his side no matter what and after a year she still rejected his mark when she shouldn't have even had to choose whether to have it or not, now she also took out the floor plan of her old house even though he had given her another one, one for them, better.
We told her not to act like this, she doesn't need that house. We did everything, we gave everything to her.
He had spent the last year dedicating himself to their bond, proving time and time again that he was worthy, that he would be a good mate for her, he was doing so even facing his own family. Shielding their future family even before their bloodline was born. Jey e Jimmy had ruined his plans, it wasn’t his fault, he was risking everything for what they would have built together, for their future. He had proven who he was, Y/N had to know, no one before him had ever achieved so much, no one would ever bear such a burden, there was no alpha out there on his level able to take care of her and anyone else. She couldn't think about them again, she couldn’t doubt, it was crazy!
- "What Im doing is to keep everything for us, protect what we have" – he explained to her for the umpteenth time, seeing Y/N stop that attempt of a smile understanding what direction their conversation was taking, as he approached the table.
He didn't like losing his temper with her, he didn't want to, but Y/N had a fastlane to pushing him in any situation and that was definitely the wrong one. Why she was throwing it in his face? At home, while he spent the days preparing to end the mess out there and start again together?!
- "You say it all the time, I know."
Her and her mouth…
- "Because that's the only thing that matters, not sitting here fantasizing about alternatives."
- "Ain't fantasizing about anything. You're so focused that we don't spend more than ten minutes together, I thought we could have a break for a bit, do something together when it's all over... but I guess it's a no if you react like that."
No, she couldn't blame him. This mess wasn't his fault, he was fixing it, it wasn't on him!
- "I don't have time to plan these things, not when I have all the work to do and problems keep piling up! I told you this too. You should have get it by now what has priority and instead we are here discussing because you keep putting these ideas in your head!"
- "My apologies, my Tribal Chief, is that good?" – he heard her reply, mocking him and he froze.
He looked at her angrily, as if they were back to the days when she couldn't stand him and he was always on the verge of exploding. He looked at her out of his mind, mouth twitching, but she wasn't even giving him attention, too busy keeping her eyes somewhere other than him, in an act of submission that was more a provocation than an apology. He ran a hand over his beard, clenching his jaw, but it was just too much and he lowered himself, leaning on the table to tower over her. Her scent, so familiar, usually so comforting, immediately filled his lungs, a regenerating peace that clashed with their fatigue and that Roman felt once more from Y/N, her body stiffening as soon as his breath hit her cheek.
He was the Tribal Chief and would remain so until God woke him up again. People out there could have planned trials, clashes, attacks, anything, nothing would have changed. But she was different, she was not one of those folks. Y/N might not have his mark, she might claim every freedom she wanted, Roman would put up with it to please her, to make her happy, because she deserved it, but still didn't change anything. They wouldn't go back to those hellish days where they were nothing.
- "I'm more than that to you" – he reminded, seeing her nod.
- "I know" – she replied immediately, finally turning around.
Her eyes, dark as the water of the river that ran through Roman’s land, almost seemed to suck him in. Two sharp chasms where he had looked for her for months, until found her huddled at the bottom waiting for him. Roman had dragged her out of there, he had given her everything, all of himself and he would do it again every day, without holding back or thinking about it and that was exactly why he was acting like that. If it wasn't for him, she would still be there, alone and with no future.
- "Make that stuff disappear before I do it" – he ordered, straightening up.
Y/N didn't move, her eyes still on him, as Roman decided he'd had enough of that pause, walking away. Her reaction reached him through the bond, when he crossed the threshold to go back inside: a mixture of anger, pain and sadness.
It hurts.
It hit him like a wave, alarming his wolf despite the fight, but it disappeared just as quickly, as if Y/N had wiped it away and Roman took a second to look at her through the windows, check, while she gathered everything on the table, head down and in silence.
He had to focus on what needed to be done. Distractions were just more problems.
We’re doing it for everyone. She will understand soon.
***
She had put everything back in his office, locking the desk drawer almost throwing away the key.
Why is he acting like this? What did we do wrong?
Her she-wolf felt confused, hurt and so was Y/N, with a good amount of anger on top of that. She was trying with all of herself, she was doing everything every day to make things work, to not disappoint him, to be up to the task, to not miss the opportunity for a good life. She had learned to ignore what didn't require a reaction, to be understanding when with anyone else would have freaked out, she was trying to be a better version of herself for her sake and for Roman. Was it such a bad idea? She knew Roman was fighting for their place, for his packland, but she hadn't suggested to leave everything and disappear, she would never have done it because she knew what it meant, she just thought they might have a safe space somewhere else... in a future less sad and complicated. That house was important to Y/N, she wanted to do her part, help, give back doing something like Roman had done with the house they lived in now, share.
It's already his though.
His property... that's why he snapped?
Roman had considered it a waste of time, a fantasy to be put away... after all, why he should pay attention to something no one wanted to take away at that moment? something far from his family war, from the packland. It already belonged to him, her she-wolf was right to justify him, Y/N had pushed him first, there was nothing to share or fix there and Jimmy's words came back to her mind. She had thought about doing something for them and instead she had really wasted time.
“The house… you bought it to give her nowhere to run away from you.”
It was a gift. For us.
Roman had said so and Y/N had felt so special. But it had his name on it, everything, every sheet of paper.
He wanted to make us happy. The best for us.
“I don't want you to go there, okay? This is your place now, it's your home and you have to stay here. But one day maybe we can fix it and go together.”
One day. Maybe…
Together.
Maybe? now the memory sounded like a dad tricking his daughter into not throwing a tantrum.
Smell of aftershave mixed with something familiar distracted Y/N, reminding her that she was still in the office and she turned to stare at the door just before seeing Paul arrive with a folder of documents in his arms.
- "Y/N! I thought you were out for one of your runs" – he said after a second too long, tone surprised and suspicious, as he looked at her standing there –"… you alright? "
No one was allowed to go upstairs unless it was necessary, but business those days seemed a matter of life and death, so it was hardly surprising. The last safe place for her would have been the bathroom.
- "You seem a bit…"
- "Take comments for yourself, there's no point in having a conversation" – she said, moving away from the desk with the intention of disappearing, but Paul wouldn't have been Paul if he hadn't decided to ruin her day already messed up.
- "Of course not, but I think you’ll want to know I went to talk with the twins. Didn’t go as hoped. Jey… he doesn't listen" – he admitted with disappointment, taking her place to add more documents to those already placed everywhere and Y/N finally recognized what that other scent on him was.
- "He doesn't like you, it was pretty obvious."
The idea of talking sense to Jey had been stupid. Maybe Jimmy could have been a possibility even if he was the one who started shit, he would have talked to a wall regardless of his sympathies, but Jey? No, Jey wasn't made for those things and both him and Y/N shared the same opinion of Paul. Sure he had had more time to learn to tolerate the so called wiseman, but Y/N had known from the very first moment he wouldn't accept any proposal Paul was going to make him.
- "You do though. He allowed Solo and you to stay if… well you know – he threw it there with such nonchalance, but she wasn't willing to tolerate, it was the wrong day – "he’s attached to you, he think about you as someone to protect."
What is he trying to say?!
- "What I know is that they shouldn't fight and that you Paul, said you would make sure to avoid it."
The brilliant idea of saving her during the meeting a few days before had taken Y/N by surprise too, there was no agreement or plan behind it, she didn't even know why at that moment, with everything that was happening, Jey had decided to expose himself for her. She was almost absolutely certain it wasn't something normal in situations like the one they were in, she was Roman's mate and Jey was threatening to take everything away from him after all, but whatever was the reason it didn't matter because it wasn't what they needed to focus on, especially not Paul.
- "I fear that stopping everything is no longer an option, we don’t have time, they have sworn in front of the family now. Neither of them can back out" – heard him say with a funeral face that didn’t inspire pity in her.
- "So that ridicolous meeting was the point of no return?!" – she snapped and he choked, hands reaching out in an attempt to stop her when Y/N nerves were undergoing yet another stress test.
She respected Roman's family, she respected their traditions, but it was unthinkable to Y/N that a handshake was an unbreakable pact, not when both sides were risking everything and whoever was supposed to advise them, stop them, watched or made things worse. She couldn't, it was something she couldn’t understand. They were a family, they had to act like a family, not fighting.
- "I wouldn't talk like that, let's try to breath now okay? Think about it. There are other ways to swing things in our favor, I'm already working on something. An idea in the right ears works wonders."
- "You're working on something" – she repeated, feeling blood go straight to her head.
Yep, sure, after all they had time to act with calm, there was a week to go and everything was already a disaster, but who cared? They could also sit, chat, think and judge who remained to be sacrificed so they could sip a drink under the patio when their bright future would be on hand.
- "I know, I understand your concern, but if you decided to be more cooperative it would help a lot and speed things up. The twins are stubborn, but Jey making all these decisions on his own could work to our advantage if we prove that he isn't capable of"- he tried, but it wasn't the right day for her to listen his sneaky little games.
- "I won't help you making anyone believe anything. You are the wiseman, be the wiseman, find a way, just do it" – she silenced him, leaving the office without waiting an answer.
She wanted that fight, everything to end once and for all, she wanted to go back to months ago when Y/N had thought she could have everything missing in her life, she wanted a family, Roman to annoy her with his daily nonsense instead of dramas to survive and manipulations on a daily basis. She was tired and for the first time since the beginning even if she tried hard… she couldn't see the end.
Breath. Calm down. Don’t lose control, we can’t allow it. Breath.
***
Right, left, right, left, right, left again. The punching bag was easy to predict every time Roman hit it, Jey wouldn't follow those times when they would have been face to face. At some point he would shift, it was the only way he had to really bring Roman down. As both man and wolf, Roman was bigger than his cousin, bruises and broken bones wouldn't keep him down once they were out there, Jey would have to do more and to do so he would have no choice. He was fast, he would aim for multiple points, targeting him, Roman only needed one, the right one, like with the punching bag.
When he hit it seriously, the chain holding it up gave way, sending it down and putting Roman face to face with Solo, standing silently there, even though he hadn't asked to see him.
- "What's up?" – he asked, catching his breath and kicking the punching bag away.
- "He was talking to Y/N upstairs" – Solo said, without mincing words and Roman stopped, staring at him, his sweaty brow furrowed in an attempt to understand.
Y/N couldn't stand the wiseman. She had never liked him, from the first day, it had taken months to convince her to not growl when he approached and now they were talking? Alone upstairs, while he was there training?
- "About what?" – Roman asked, but Solo shrugged his shoulders in a heavy silence Roman had to accept, hiding his annoyance with a grimace.
First in his land. Then in his family. Now in his house. No… not that time.
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whilomm · 3 days
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i think part of the reason why ppl have a kneejerk reaction to others pointing out that marcille is kinda conservative (besides the usual desire to sand down characters edges to make them Less Problematic™) is that theyre thinking "conservative=republican" rather than similar to like, that girl who will swear up and down that she is SO progressive and 100% feminist and everything but when a girl doesnt shave her legs she says "ugh but its just so UNSANITARY" but at the same time if a guy DOES shave their legs she just "thinks its weird!!!", and if you point out the contradiction there ("didnt you say it was UNSANITARY to not shave? doesnt that mean you think ALL guys should shave?") she will BSoD a little bit and uhhhh i mean uhhh its just that–
or you know, someone who if you come out as a trans to her she'll accept it (after a bit of confusion and a few of the usual dumb cis questions) but maybe thinks that the way to ✨validate✨ you is to go all in on gender stereotypes like okay if youre a woman that means MAKEUP and DRESSES and LONG HAIR and ACTING LADYLIKE and PARTICIPATING IN GIRLY ACTIVITIES and NOT BEING TOO LOUD and NOT TAKING UP TOO MUCH SPACE. and if your a man that means dressing MANLY and HAVING SHORT HAIR and ACTING MASCULINE and TOUGH and BEING UNINVITED FROM THE (GIRLY) WEEKLY HANGOUT SESH
or people who like, will never outright say they HATE homeless people, like if you talk about volunteering at the soup kitchen or donating to the food bank shes like yeah!!! but then she also getting weirdly uncomfortable when it comes to actual homeless people who arent like, the model of 'trying but down on my luck', and just thinking the tents are unsightly and worrying about how if you give someone money on the street if they'll just use it for drugs and being anxious about the vague specter of "violence"
(im not necessarily saying "marcille herself would 100% do these things" but just "when people say marcilles a bit conservative they dont mean rightwing republican they mean like this kinda shit which self-proclaimed Progressives do when they dont recognize they still got shit that they picked up from living in a So Sigh Titty to work thru")
like, listen, a big part of marcille's character is that she is very prideful and sure of herself and her opinions. half of marcille's character building parts are "marcille has a preconceived notion! oh, someone challenges the preconceived notion! marcille is RESISTANT to this! oh my GOD this is AWFUL how could you CHALLENGE HER WORLD VIE- oh. oh wait no. okay you might have a point BUT SHE STILL HATES IT!!!".
she changes and she learns things! but shes kicking and screaming the whole way and kinda annoying about it and even after she has one thing challenged shes still got a whole backlog of other things she learned from So Sign Titty shes also gotta work thru even if she doesnt realize it yet. sometimes she gradually realizes these things on her own sometimes someone basically has to hit her over the head with the Very Special Episode about how halffoots arent children and orcs aren't evil and maybe shes treating falin a bit like a dress up doll and infantilizing her and like thats a problem maybe?
like. its an interesting part of her character! let marcille be a bit conservative. she aint perfect. actually theres a lotta little things she kinda sucks about. but its okay bc she can learn and have her tidy little worldview challenged and its interesting to see her go thru it all!
(and i also wonder if part of the resistance to people pointing out how shes a bit conservative in some ways is also like, refusal to admit "hm maybe i also hold some regressive views". like, the general thing of "wanting to believe you are already a perfect progressive and dont hold any shitty views" is extremely realistic, its defo a trap ive fallen into before! most of us probably have! but like, step one is admitting it rather than putting your foot on the ground and saying la la la i cant hear you)
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witherwallflower · 2 days
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FISHES & POLOROAIDS
🪼🌀🫐
𓇼 ⋆.˚ 𓆉 𓆝 𓆡⋆.˚ 𓇼
summary: matt takes his girlfriend aubree to the aquarium
warning: lowkey short, not proof-read, but all fluff <3
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waking up to the sun shining directly on aubree’s face causing her to wake up. she let out a nice yawn and turned to face her boyfriend matt.
she took notice that he was awake on his phone. she took in the way the sunlit perfectly on his face showing off his smooth features that she loved and adored.
“morning baby” aubree whispered, leaving soft kisses on his cheek and neck.
“why good morning sleeping beauty” matt replied smiling and putting down his phone onto his chest.
he turned to face aubree and tugged her into his chest. she inhaled his precious smell that brought her some slight comfort.
they stayed in that position for a good few minutes before they decided it was time to get up and get ready.
“cmon love, we got to get ready and head out now.” matt said letting go of his sleepy girlfriend and sitting up
“but whyyyy, and where are we even going”
“it’s going to be a surprise”
“ugh whatever” the girl gave a sarcastic attitude
matt laughed and left to use the bathroom. today he has planned to take aubree out to the aquarium because he saw her repost on tiktok a video about aquarium dates.
he was so excited for this day to come because he couldn’t wait to see her reaction. aubree always had a special love for animals, especially sea creatures. seeing aubree happy was all that mattered to matt.
as they both got ready wearing slightly matching outfits for the cute date aesthetic, aubree added more little touches to her look.
she was bent over the counter of the bathroom applying her summer fridays lip gloss. matt wanted to tell her to hurry up as he stood in the doorway but he couldn’t help but be lost in his girlfriends looks.
the way her hair looked, her perfect makeup that she always gets insecure about, her outfit that matched her personality and showed off how aubree is his girl.
while she slowly grazed the product over her lips, she took a glance at matt and made eye contact with him. she let out a laugh
“why are you staring matt?”
“you just look beautiful.”
as they left to go to the aquarium. matt left his right hand on aubrees thigh as she looked out the window humming the song “kiss me” while it played softly in the background
“matt are you going to tell me where we’re goingggg” she begged
“fine, im taking you to the aquarium.” matt gave in
aubree felt herself smile a bit wider than already
“oh my gosh babyyy! how did you know i’ve been wanting to go”
“well i saw one of your reposts on tiktok about going on aquarium dates and i know how much you love sea animals” he said eyes still on the road.
aubree felt as she was going to cry, not because she’s going to the aquarium, but because of how much she moves matt.
matt is probably her favorite person on the planet, same for the other way around. matt and aubree are an unstoppable duo, together 25/8, attached to the hip, telling each other EVERYTHING, and all the above. basically each others best friends.
as they arrived to the aquarium and parked. matt got out to open aubrees door for her because he never allows her to open her own doors.
she got out and interlocked hands with her boyfriend. they entered the building hand in hand.
aubree wanted to look at all the jellyfish. she stood close to the glass and pointing at all several different jellyfish.
“matt look at them! they’re all so cute, i can’t” she frowned
matt didn’t even bother to look at the jellyfish in the tank, he was too busy admiring the girl in infront of him. seeing her excitement in all of the animals.
he took his phone out, opening his camera app to capture this cute moment of his loving girlfriend sharing her warm happiness with animals.
the girl then moved on to the dolphins, she put her palm against the cold glass to show some type of sign to the dolphins. a dolphin came up to aubree and tapped its nose against the glass.
“matt please tell me you recorded that” the sweet girl turned around looking at matt pouting
“of course i was baby” he said smiling with blush painted across his face
after hours of aubree going around interacting with each and every area in the building, it’s finally came time to leave.
on the way back to matt’s house, aubree looked at matt with lots of love saying softly, “thank you for today baby it meant a lot”
“of course sweetheart you deserved today after that long stressful week” he said taking his eyes off the road for a second to look at aubree.
when they got back to matts, they just sat in his room. he started randomly going through his drawers as aubree sat down on his bed.
matt pulled out an old 2019 poloroaid camera saying, “oh look what i found! let’s have a photo shoot”
matthewsturniolo
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liked by christophersturniolo and 678,178 others matthewsturniolo other half
tagged - @aubreeloveland
mahli talks! hey guys,, this was so cute to write omg ☹️ anyways i love u allllll have an amazing week my lovers 🩷🩷
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dizzybevvie · 18 days
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You're the sunflower/I think your love would be too much
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the artblock be hitteth Harder than normal, for tis not normal artblock. woe. Wally be upon ye
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extravagav · 27 days
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AND WE JUST DONT TALK ABOUT THIS?!?!?!!????
#THIS IS LITERALLY LITERAAALLLYYY THE BIGGEST FORM OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT SUGISHITA COULD HAVE#NOT ONLY IS HE DOING WHATS BEST FOR UMEMIYA BUT HES PUTTING HIS TRUST IN SAKURA TO HELP HIM#AND OH IM SO UNWELL#HIS BODY IS PHYSICALLY REACTING TO HIM MAKING THIS DECISION IM JUST#IM SO PROUD#and then sakura acknowledging all of this too i just love them sm#they really have one of the best dynamics 😭😭😭#wind breaker#kyotaro sugishita#sakura haruka#wind breaker spoilers#wind breaker manga spoilers#ok nvm im still talking bc the second image literally gets me everytime i look at it#first off the way they drew sakura in that scene in the first place is just so beautiful thats the only word i can think for it rn 😭😭😭😭#second seeing this scene from sugishitas perspective and then learning later that the reason he has this reaction was because he thought-#-sakura looked cool and hes never thought that about anyone before just really gives us so much more for their relationship#specially how sugishita acts towards him 😭😭#add that onto what umemiya says to him (which i couldnt include in this post </3) about how hes never really shown emotion to anyone-#-till sakura showed up then it gives us an even BETTER understanding of why sugishita acts the way he does around sakura#my brain is so frazzled by the sun today and words are not coming to me easily so apologies if none of this makes any sense 😭😭😭#ill revisit it another time anyway#also the way they describe all of this really makes it sound like he has a lil crush and its so sweet 😭😭😭😭😭😭
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todayisafridaynight · 3 months
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no ones ever gonna understand how much i love daigo doin this stupid shit after dissolving the tojo
#snap chats#is this a gaiden spoiler. its been like five months catch up you nerds#ANYWAYYYYY NOO I LOVE HIM ....... this whole bit is like four seconds long but i love it so much#i just reminded myself i should probably make gaiden/y8 videos for daigo.. i'll make it a JP/ENG comp or somethn.. one day#not soon tho like its barely anything since he's not in those games Long At All but still. im lazy 💀#excuse me while i gush about daigo for twenty minutes now because hehee HE'S SO CUTE I CAN'T GET OVER IT#this is literally the middle aged equivalent of going yippee like YOU CAN TELL HE'S SO RELIEVED IT'S SO CUTE#got the energy of a student with crippling anxiety after they somehow get through giving a presentation without throwing up#AND his lil smile ......... thank you gaiden you made me wanna eat drywall with daigo's sad puppy dog eyes about kiryu#and then immediately made up for it a minute later#sorry i keep scrolling up to look at him and i love him so much. what if i threw up#i dont like using babygirl lightly but this is actually the most Babygirl frame of him ever ive decided#thats my boy .... i love my boy so much ..... he's so cute ... come so far in life congratulations king ..... ily ...#him lookin up at the sky for a minute just to breathe i know he thankin god for the fact he somehow isnt dead yet#im gonna ignore the fact all of this was for naught so i dont bash my head against a wall anyway stan daigo#im gonna be sick i love him so much#if i redraw this later shut up. i love him...#this is why i try not to look at cutscenes anymore cause when i do i feel my brain being put in a microwave and start to melt#its not my fault i love my guys so much .... ok bye i have work to do ....#and then when i finish that work i can go back to loving my guys YAAAAAY !!!!!!!
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humanmorph · 1 year
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Lye „Lyke“ Lychen as a sacrifical altar (to Aterika’Kaal) (but he's also kind of the sacrifice)
my @secret-samol gift for @bronanlynch! for the Aterika’Kaal/Lyke prompt of „what if things had gone differently and Aterika'Kaal was still with Lyke“.
notes on this under the readmore!
AU
In this scenario Lyke would succeed in getting the heart of the Motherbeast in Episode 47 and while Alaway would notice & probably still call out to Aterika’Kaal the way he presumably did in canon, Lyke would be there and get to make a compelling case to Aterika’Kaal the likes of „If you stay with me I am going to feed you. I’ve taken care of you until now, I’ll keep doing that“ (argument supported by the fact he’s currently holding the heart of an incredibly powerful dead god). Aterika’kaal agrees and they barely escape through the Sanctum of the Stone Chorus portal. I think it's fun if Lyke then stays there after the hour described in the move is over, maybe knowing he can't convince Pickman & the others that what he's done is actually good, and fine, there's not even anything to worry about he has this totally handled, But yeah he then sets out from whereever in Sangfielle Aterika'Kaals domain is (Austin did say it was an actual place somewhere), and the rest of the Blackwick Group is left to wonder what the hell happened since Lyke just vanished! Alaway has possibly fucked off too after losing the heart. And them getting fired, the Carnival of Moted Light etc. would still happen (and I guess Chine would succeed at what they were doing since Lyke isn’t there?) and who knows if they’d take any action in finding Lyke after that! All that aside though, Lyke basically offers himself to feed on (through blood and/or energy) and to sustain that he keeps consuming(not literally eating) powerful objects/artifacts/resources and possibly eventually living things (I’d imagine he'd still take work as a „please deal with this weird shit for us“ person and when he has to kill a cursed beast or whatnot... might aswell feed Aterika'Kaal?) (What also plays into that decision, and is part of Lyke justifying this to himself, is that without him, Aterika’Kaal would become too powerful. So he aims to function as kind of a conduit & control the power intake so to speak. I think this probably doesn’t work for very long.) I think this eventually goes bad for him because it’s super taxing on his body and the whole deal kind of flips with Aterika’Kaal feeding/keeping HIM alive. He starts finding bodies in the domain again (alternatively, Aterika'Kaal gets better at hiding them because it knows Lyke doesn't particulary like it when it does that). Lyke probably gets stronger due to this power/magic wise, but also way more fragile (he's constantly anemic!). („I love you. I want us both to eat well.“ - Christopher Citro) („When I write of hunger I am really writing about love and the hunger for it, and warmth and the love of it and it is all one.“ M.K. Fisher) Notes: I put some resources Lyke’s canonically had in-game + some extra stuff in this picture (the arrow is a reference to Marn’s epilogue, the bugs are bugs (with possibly sinister connotations. If you want them to have those, it’s optional) and the fur is from the Ravening Beast). Another detail I came up with I might aswell tell you because otherwise noone might ever know: the ring with the blue stone is a gift from Es. Sketch Notes: 1. Lyke turning his head to kiss a rose / exposing his neck was one of my very first ideas/sketches I made while working on this, and I liked it too much to not include it. 2. This is supposed to be Aterika'Kaal giving Lyke a blood transfusion but it rather looks like it's feeding on him instead...! I like how the relaxed pose turned out. 3. I wanted to draw something smaller in a simpler style to fill the big canvas I was drawing these on (even though now I put them in separate files anyways...). The day I drew this I saw a tweet about a medieval monks sketchbook, so I was still thinking about that. I didn't even plan to color it originally but I ended up getting invested, haha
Inspired mainly by these 3 quotes: „KEITH: I’m a walking- I am a shrine to Aterika’Kaal.“ (Sangfielle 12: The Secret Ledger of Roseroot Hall Pt. 4) „KEITH: There's a version of dealing with Aterika'Kaal that ends with Lyke being satisfied that he rehabilitated a god or at least it looks […] like what he thinks Aterika'Kaal would have been before the YVEs showed up. That's probably his main retirement path, but it also might kill him instead.” (Sangfielle 47: Wax, Iron, and Ichor Pt. 4) „AUSTIN: As you’re fading, the last thing that you do is make this blood sacrifice to Aterika’Kaal. Your own blood.“ (Sangfielle 52: Six Travelers: Lyke)
#secret samol#sangfielle#friends at the table#fatt#rosa art#lye lychen#aterika'kaal#lyke#guy of all time btw this was such a joy to draw and think about#its so funny to me though because i almost put lyke/aterikakaal on my own prompt list but then for whatever reason didnt#and then i saw it on the spreadsheet (2) & was like 'man i hope someone picks them. i want to see this.' BUT IT WAS ME... IM SOMEONE....#@ those 2 people (one is eliot bronanlynch. i know this) especially: i hope you enjoy!!!!!! @ everyone else you too ok : )#the notes were in a pdf originally i didnt think id write so much.#i thought about making it bullet points maybe itd look neater on tumblr but i dont. want to... copy&paste it is...#this isnt the first time i painted digitally but it MAY be the first time ive had a good time with it#i used the twitter circle thing for the first and possibly last (until next secsam) time for this so i could post wips. for motivation#it worked : )#cool to see my actual progress#fun fact about the quotes i added i spent like. a lot of time to look for a better one than the citro quote#because i straight up just do not like the poem its from. i am ripping it out of its context. but it still sounds nice. i folded eventually#the urge to ramble on the the tags........ i will overcome it now and post this#ARGH i forgot tumblr doesnt take transparency on large files well.... it just turns white#well ive made it dark now on the painting it looks better than white but the original was transparent. know this#im posting this kind of late. relatively. i JUST got back from work
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1tsjusty0u · 4 months
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wow this has such majoras mask vibes! (guy who is currently playing majoras mask)
#this is about botw (an au for it)#just. if you take it as ganon hurting everyone else like hes been hurt (being trapped under tbe castle forgotten for ages and ages with nob#ody but himself and the people who trapped him directly above him. also corrupting the sheikah tech used against him (thats a stretch consi#dering the only way he was able to do that was that the king 10000 years ago was awful and buried the tech UNDER THE CASTLE while chasing t#he sheikah out)) + the eye motifs? (majoras eyes being indicators for bosses weak points and ganons malicw eyes) it just. huh#though in botw link doesnt really. well he sort of calls out to people (the champions which could be interesting for character arcs) but ot#herwise its kind of just. three people having a 2 v 1 in a ruined world that just ended up hurtinf all of them#literally nobody can turn back to what they had. not ganon in the past. not link (though i Do have feelings about pre cal link but thats al#l hcs so im not putting that here). and not zelda#and not the champions either (though the only ones grief we really see is miphas. maybe revali?)#its just. literally everything Is There Still.#the guardians. the older ruins like the forgotten temple. the great plateau#on one hand i see the destruction of the castle/monarchy great and will lead to good. but also People Died#deya village. the tabantha village. the characters couldve seen the time before the calamity as Great (even if it wasnt? it all depends! bu#t nostalgia and all that)#so. yeah.#i dunno what the thesis is here i just think its neat#also that one image i can stretch botws theme as much as i can concieve#this also gives me a fic idea. however i feel like i would be doing characters dirty in it
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savetheghost · 12 days
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wanna be put in a room with craft stuff for 10 years
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josecariohca · 21 days
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