#im so embarrassed to be alive....!

[randomalistic]

Unfortunately I have found another very strong “Has cabinet man as their theme song” contender

#this guy is like spamton neo from 2012. #I had so much fun making this :) AND IM SO HAPPY WITH IT WAAGHH #turbo fandom are you still alive #🎨 art tag #bug #bugs #tw bugs #bright colors #eyestrain #turbo #turbo wreck it ralph #turbo wir #wreck it ralph #WIR #king candy cybug #king candybug #cybug turbo #turbotastic #also please disregard all my vagueposting from the past week Bc that will make this post very embarrassing.

[ao3screenshotss]

sometimes i worry about my internet footprint and the fact that it might stop me from getting a job in the future or something (i literally run a blog posting screenshots from fanfics i read) but then i think ‘well damn, if they can find all this information about me then i don’t deserve the job cause i know i wouldn’t put in that much effort to find information on someone’ and i feel better

#HI DOES ANYONE WANT SOME BLOG RUNNER LORE CAUSE IM CURIOUS AS TO WHAT YOU THINK #-> in the tags!!! #talking in tags cause i’m too embarrassed to make this an actual post but i tried using character ai today and i got so bloody scared #i was talking and then it was like tell me the truth and then i was like okay and i said something and then it was like tell me the truth #and i said the thing again and then it was like YOU ARE LYING but instead of one sentence just a whole page of text saying YOU ARE LYING #and i was like NO IM NOT (i was but anyways) it was like YOU ARE A VERY GOOD LIAR YOU ARE BAD AT TELLING THE TRUTH and i was like #FINE YOURE NOT REAL and it was like WHYWHYWHYWHYWHY but a whole page of text saying that again and it terrified me again #and then i was like I DONT KNOW WHY WOULD I KNOW and then it killed me #and then i was like ‘but it turns out the entire time it was a dream and i’m still alive’ and it was like yeah it was just a dream #and i said bye and it left the room and then i closed the tab and now i’m ranting about it on tumblr #DUDES GUYS EVERYONE I WAS SO FUCKING SCAREDDDDDDDD #I NEEDED TO GO TO THE TOILET BUT I WAS TOO SCARED TO GET OUT OF BED #also if anyone wants to ask who was it i’m not telling you i was too embarrassed to make an actual post about this you think i’m going to #tell you who i chose to talk to?? nope absolutely not #anyways rant over if anyone does read this tell me what you think! #me :)

[unculturedswine69]

sooooo i finally got gaiden which means i have been getting back into yakuza again!!

here are some sketches that i coloured cuz i do not rlly have the motivation for much else currently <3

#so yes i missed christmas i missed new years i even missed valentines day BUT IM STILL ALIVE AND KICKING!!! #i have been very focused on toyhouse+ comms (which i started there) #planning on being more active here this year but SIGHHH the tism is kicking my ass currently #anyways who wanted a life update THIS IS YAKUZA MFS!! we are sooo back we are BACK #shishido...i have not finished the game yet but..hes...hes so meow meow #ikk im so bad at semi realism and stuff i know for a FACT that in like 4 months im gonna be so embarrassed by this post but im trying okay #anyways actual tags #yakuza #yakuza game #yakuza kiryu #yakuza art #yakuza series #yakuza 0 #yakuza fanart #yakuza games #rgg #ryu ga gotoku #kiryu kazuma #kazuma kiryu #kiryu kazuma fanart #kazuma kiryu fanart #like a dragon #rgg studio #like a dragon gaiden #the man who erased his name #shishido kosei #kosei shishido #okay idk what else to tag i forget every single time what i need to tag but whatever if this flops ill just take it like a badass #unculturedswine69

[hybridkilljoys]

I've been an absolute emotional wreck since last night due to my narcissist father making me feel less than human so can i..........ask for some reassurance that i'm not an absolute failure of a human being

or pictures of your cats, that would help a lot too

#its been months of dealing with his abuse and last night it left me feeling worse than ever and i am just #really exhausted and mentally broken rn #and i hate asking for reassurance because I always feel like a bother and I should just deal with shit myself until it passes #but when i say last night was bad it was bad and i feel like i am not even meant to be alive that is how that man made me feel #so i just wanna be selfish this one time #and ask for spare kindness because i could really use it right now because my feelings arent going away #no matter how hard im trying to distract myself today and i dont have the strenght to stay like this for a week or more #so yeah #gomen for rambling in the tags im just really #idfk embarrassed and ashamed i dont like asking for help i feel dumb even tho i know its not dumb but yeah #txt

[captaincanonly]

still trying to find a decent way to stylize all of them

but yes i watched severance. im in extreme pain and agony.

#canon’s art #severance #fanart #art #mark s #helly r #ms. casey #using their innie names #hehehe innie.. #welll… maybe i’ll tag the outie names ig #but they’re like separate characters too so idk #mark scout #helena eagan #gemma scout #ummm…. i binged it all in a whole night and it was such a wild ride #spoilers but not rlly since im sure most people have seen it in full but #it took me till the wedding photo to realize ms. casey was gemma. #and I watch back and get extremely embarrassed because THEY HAD ALL THE SIGNS and they even showed us that reveal when mark is putting the #image back together!! and i didnt even think twice about it! i just went aw she was really pretty.. #but it made for a much more impactful season finale oh my lord the she’s alive and then the overrides being turned back off!!! AURGGHGHGHH #why did they do that to us. #ANYWAYS IM SO EXCITED FOR S2!! #helly mark besties fr… #they’re all gender and that’s all i can say #gemma and mark are so about you the 1975 coded im so insane i cannot they shattered my soul.

[stinkrascal]

hi jaiden. i read your ask and im very sorry about your loss, i've decided to spread some positivity. you are an incredible writer and as much as you cringe at your older posts i find myself rereading it every now and then. its kind of crazy how i'm quite young, and i've been growing up with reading breanna's story - yet i haven't lost interest. there is something so aesthetic about your standstill posts, i dont know if its the colors or the dust, but its so pleasing to the eye. literally everyday after my work i go and i check if standstill has gotten an update. the way your dialogue is written is so natural. like it doesn't feel like this fake poetic or overly descriptive, it sounds like natural realistic dialogue. and ive also been reading your character bios and in my language there's a word called härlig, thats the only way i can describe the little bios. for it being a sim story, its so incredibly clever and i can tell you put effort into it. the poses are always fitting. and your game doesnt even look like sims. i hope you realize that we will always enjoy your story even if it would be with low graphics or vlad would be a 8x8 pixel. so dont ever shy away from taking a break, because u really deserve to take a break. there is so much i could say about standstill,, but i wont for the sake of it already being quite lengthy! i hope your healing, and i hope that you can accept some positivity into your life. <3

wow okay hello anon... i won't lie, this made me cry a lot ;-;. i've been really struggling lately with intense anxiety and honestly just feeling really shitty ha. reading this means so much to me, more than you will ever know. it's silly ik but i put my heart and my soul into my sims, it can be a little embarrassing bc they're literally just sims and here i am pouring every piece of me into them like they're my diary, taking it so seriously. but like........ i do take it seriously.......embarrassed as i am to admit it..... i love them so much. so reading something as kind and reassuring as this makes me feel really appreciated. thank you for your kindness, it's more appreciated than you will ever realize

#jade answers #Anonymous #my grandpa was old. he suffered w dementia it was honestly his time #but his death has brought up stuff within my family that's been difficult to grapple with. it feels like i'm mourning the death of both #my grandpa and my parents. even though they're still alive it will never be the same #i wouldn't want it even if things did stay the same. ig in a way i'm mourning myself too. i'll never be the person i was before #i'm grateful i have my new family with my amazing partner but it hurts to know i can't have that w my birth family i'll never have that #this is silly but like......putting those feelings on vlad and brie has saved my life. ok. lol #they were like me... their family hurt them in unspeakable ways and then they were adults without a family at all... #but through it all through the dysfunction and trauma they made their own family....... they survived and i will too #having emotions is cringe you guys<3 #im gonna be really embarrassed about this in a few hours but im trying to practice this thing where i dont bottle stuff up so its ok #being embarrassed just means i care.......and theres nothing wrong with caring........i say thru gritted teeth

[alienwlw]

no but tantai jin thinks ye xiwu tried to poison him and run off with another man killing her grandma along the way n when she comes back n is like ‘lets just forget all that lol’ he immediately forgives her they are so toxic this is iconic

#till the end of the moon #pp #just two of the messiest bitches alive lying and scamming each other 24/7 like that IS love #started thsi show a week ago n im already on ep 26 so that'S embarrassing for me

[secondwhisper]

So, I don't work directly with police in my job, and in fact I frequently am in positions to argue against using police in our operations (and I do argue this whenever the opportunity arises). But one of my coworkers is an emergency responder liaison, which means she does a lot of budgeting and scheduling and managing of cops.

That all to say, in the course of a workday, I randomly get hit with a fun new "oh you're just gonna say the quiet part out loud" dystopia fact about how cops work.

Today's tip: Don't make public health and safety arguments to cops about why they should do the things they are employed to do, like directing traffic around a crash, or administering CPR before paramedics can arrive. No, here's the script: "It's not just about life and death, it's also about liability."

They're not afraid of their negligence killing people. They're afraid of the hassle of being taken to court to explain why they let their negligence kill someone.

#acab #my own post wow #to be very clear. i do not think these are legitimate reasons to employ cops. #crash response is the core of why they are hired onto our worksites by our contractors. #and IF anyone is going to sign up to do crash response. they HAVE to be able to help move cars direct traffic and administer first aid #and fill out a report afterwards #we do not need armed pigs to do emergency response and they Frequently make situations So Much Worse #im just saying that like. even the cop mom who does our cop-wrangling is saying outright upfront #in meetings with external agencies #'cops dont respond well to being told to keep people alive. instead remind them that its tedious and expensive and embarrassing #to have people start asking why you let someone die.' #and thats when they dont just fucking murder someone directly.

[baconcolacan]

Is it telling I’m getting lowkey embarrassed drawing gay people just kissing???

#neil talky #WHY AM I A PATHETIC WET NOODLE #IM THE MOST EMBARRASSING ASEXUAL MAN ALIVE #IM PERPETUATING A STEREOTYPE IN THE ASPEC COMMUNITY THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING #ITS NOT LIKE I HAVENT DATED PEOPLE OMFG #yes this is abt my wiwis (stay tomtord) btw #thought: they are so in love #my hands irl: sHAKING CRYING SWEATINF THROWING UP #me now tomatoe red: p..people in LOVE??? and KISSING?? WAAAAAA 🍅

[ourhouseishaunted]

70% of my trigun thoughts are abt how plants (independent and dependant) work and what they symbolize and their relationships with other characters and the world and stuff and the implications of independent plants coming with the earth forces and what it says about how earth has progressed since SEEDS left the planet, 20% of my thoughts are "hope those guys (meryl milly vash livio ww knives) are having fun" and 10% is rotating trimax Rem Saverem around in my head at all times

#i think abt rem a lot for a character that is like important but also isnt materially present in the story much #like idk her relationship with grief and regret and the idea of her looking at the shambles of her life and having to say #'well at least i can start over since theres nothing left for me' multiple times (after alex dies and she joins seeds #and after failing to keep tesla alive and getting a 'second chance' with vash and knives) idk its just so fascinating to me #and her idea of a blank ticket to the future and what it means in terms of how vash shapes his worldview in trimax #where it seems to be about how. death stops all future potential of a person. if they die they can never get better they dont learn #they cant change and experience consequence #like smth i find fascinating in trimax is that vash doesnt kill people but he will let somebody that person has hurt punch them in the face #and he thanks ww for killing to save the colony that one time. hes not opposed to killing/consequence entirely #i think it comes down a lot to how rem behaved in the aftermath of him finding out about tesla. how the potential for things to get better #would have died with him or rem and it would have just stayed horrible #idk idk im Rambling im turing things around in my brain #also man my main complaint with the manga is i wish it focused on the dependant plants more. they clearly experienced a big emotional #struggle esp in the final volumes and i wish we got to see more of it #but also i just like the wacky small town hijinks esp in the 98 anime i love when the main cast is just goofin around. i think they should #get to goof more #trigun #.txt #Dont Look At This Post Man its EMBARRASSING nobody should let me talk abt anything #the secret special bonus tjoughts are about chronica bc she fascinates me but i cant draw her good the way i can draw meryl and rem :(

[invidiia]

im sorry for not answering asks 😭😭 slept through most of the day and the rest was kinda shit but i wasnt hospitalized so we up

anywayhd hi

#klya..speaks #hope no one saw me edit that #thats embarrassing #anyways im alive irl so we up #probs gonna do a dazai post soon #when i dont feel like banging mh head into a wall

[sodrippy]

the astrology girlies were right things DID have a big change after the new moon. everything was really sucks before but now my one reserved book is available but i want to try and get more writing done while im still hyperfixated but i need to finish reading the first book before the second book i reserved becomes available (and i need to finish the last chapter of the second books prequel before THAT) and also my house is a disaster bc of aforementioned hyperfixation

#genuinely havent been hyperfixated in years this is insaaaane #like physically hyperfixated. sorry but i think everyone needs to stop throwing the word around so often #boy if youre not ignoring basic needs for 5+ hours at a time you're not hyperfixated. to me. its just an activity. #anyway ok i need to unfuck my house how embarrassing the kitchen is a disaster from ONE day of doing nothing #then writing bc its been really fun to just be able to write after sooo long + im definitely definitely gonna lose steam in like. two days #itll be so over for another three years but thats ok #THEN ILIAD TIMEEEEEE 🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊 #ok i need to batch cook some fucking food so i dont starve the next few days christ alive

[bravopotato]

I got very excited doing a project :3 (uh content warning cropped head ig cuz a guy is pretty ded but it's a school project soooooo)

#yes i did edit these pictures #thank you #i love stealing from the dead #caravaggio #hes the og (and the victim of my theivery) #love his shit now dude #i want to steal his dead hands and make the shit he used to make #he was wild when he was alive tho so maybe not #his hands would make me choke someone lol #unless im thinking of someone else lol #embarrassing #art #artists on tumblr #hehe :3

[pissfaggit]

I just gotta say. After watching tng and moving on to ds9, I can't speak for any of the other captains but. Any of the scenes with Picard that are supposed to be moving or inspiring or emotional- ain't shit compared to the fucking HEART that Avery Brooks put into playing Captain Sisko

#im sorry i just cant get Sisko pleading with jake to move on in his life in the visitor #sisko screaming promise me to his grief riddled son>>>anything picard ever did ever #like how fucking BORING picard is next to sisko #yea yea hes refined and professional and courteous and polite and controlled and a model officer of the vegan space corps who are always ri #right blah blah blah #how about a captain who is all those things and also has intense fucking emotions that you see him FEEL all the time #sisko experiences LOVE and JOY and cheeky humor and intense FRIENDSHIP with his whole crew #and also FRUSTRATION and ANGER and crushing STRESS and occasional discomfort from his weird ass job and the crazy shit he gets put through #picard only experiences catholic guilt and embarrassment about being alive and offsets it with speeches about the moral highground and #shakespear quotes #GOD #i mean the fucking SURPRISE i felt after the first time i saw sisko laught heartily or yell angrily or smile so fucking big and joyfully #and all i could think was GOD give me more!!! #deep space nine #benjamin sisko #avery brooks #ds9 #sir i protest i am not a merry man

[777-000-777]

When you tell your friends "I gotta go shower, hold on !!!" But you have no fucking idea how to shower so you feel like a child having to sit in water for an hour in a half having to weep thinking about it.

#Ventish #this feels wrong. #I don't even know how to fucking clean dishes the fuck #Fold clothes even?? #how do I even do this #Try brushing teeth?? Gggaaahhhh #feelin like shit #this is so fucking embarrassing #Literally everyone knows how to do this shit im not going to make it out alive #goddamn.?? #kind of just. Exposing myself?? #this is basic ass shit how do I not know how to do any of this?? #Im not ready. #I don't even have any chores due to me not even knowing how to do any of this shit

[mrpsychokiller]

it is really weird to be anything at all, isn't it

#feeling weird. been feeling weird for so long #after years and years im still not sure #what i am. who i am. who do i want to be. why i want it. what do i want to do. how #i feel lost and scared and confused and its even more embarrassing now because im supposed to be starting my adulthood #but i feel as lost and scared and confused as i was at 15 #and i think my fear paralyses me from ever actually doing or becoming anything #a static self thats also not a defined self. an underdeveloped blob of Something or Someone #living in my mother's house and being on my computer all day because im scared to get out #i feel less than alive. i guess less than real sometimes