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disarmingly · 7 years

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Do you like Halloween? Will you dress up as something or cook or bake or carve a pumpkin or eat halloween treats and sweets? What kind of stuff gives you the creeps? Anything you're afraid of? Something that bothers others but you're totally not afraid of (e.g. spiders?) If you could bring a fantasy creature to live creepy or not which kind of creature would it be (e.g. vampire, mermaid, phoenix)

uoeiwjfklds i love halloween it’s ah well okay so i get scared really easily and in fact fall which used to be my favorite season has some difficult things associated with it now. but halloween is just so !!!! i love everything about it even though i am constantly hiding my face in my hands from scary posters and running away from costume shops haha ^^;; im like the worst candidate for loving this holiday but i do...i wanna be a ghost haha /soft sad face/ but er too close so maybe um idk i wanna cosplay deku from bnha soon so i could thatd be cool. but otherwise maybe i can whip up a lowkey kiki cosplay ^^;; i dont do scary well so itll be cute...anime...stuff most likely. or like just me with cat ears in which case i might as well dress as kenma for the day but lololoolol....

oh oh i love to bake too but i don’t have uh money lately hardly at all for...anything...like...even regular...food... s-so i don’t think i’ll get to bake this year. ordinarily i’d like to make cute little pumpkin cheesecakes! my friend once made a totoro stencil and then made a totoro image on one of them with cinnamon and it was just the cutest tastiest thing ;3; ah ah....i love all things pumpkin except the seeds which i hate x( sdklfjiefklds bc im five years old and am kinda picky OTL uh uh i love sweets in general like im gonna die from eating nothing but sugar im p sure /squints at my suga intake and then hits myself for bad puns.../ ahm ....i am afraid of almost everything. i put out a kinda mean aggressive front bc i live in a city and when i used to be myself more i got picked on a lot. now i think people dont wanna mess with me bc i look super unpleasant ......which is what it is i guess. T_T;;; i dont wanna seem unfriendly but lololol...anyways um im afraid of most people, bright light, loud sounds, scary oriented anything like movies costumes stories music uhhhhhhhh yeah but for real i love halloween so who aM i T_T;;; lmfdsijofklsd.... bugs give me the creeps. also anything with a squishy texture like jiggly....i don’t count marshmallows because those are delicious. um. i’m afraid of people touching me lol and i’m afraid of closed-in spaces and i’m also just generally paralyzed in public situations like uh trying to go to um like the post office or the bank.

basically i’m an idiot with the backbone of....something without a backbone.

but i still love halloween. i love the sad ghost stories (shocker i know) because there is something hopeful about them to me i don’t know. i feel kind of understood whenever i read ghost stories growing up even when they end so sadly. i feel kind of like i was that person or maybe i will be which might not be good but also is less lonely to be recognized by preexisting art isn’t it? /rambles....

oh oh i would love...to bring a species to life if it wouldn’t harm them. i could not let myself have that luxury to bring only one though if i’m being literal. i wouldn’t want them to be alone. but if i was just saying oh yes this suddenly magically is another species that exists? it’s hard because i want badly to say mermaids but considering the status of our seas it’s not...the kindest thing to wish for is it? maybe vampires? ask them to suck the blood of all the rotten people in the world dry? vampire vigilantes? though my condolences to them too for having to touch those horrible people....ahem..../daydreams/

i am so sorry that got really long im like just high on not sleeping for 2.5 days pls forgive me...

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avtsparrow-blog · 7 years

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++ deja-vu.

EDIT: like this post and i will come bother you ;u;

//barrels in// hello, hello! ;w;

i’m pika (she/her) - some of you may remember me from the rp’s first run with my lexiconicy bab - but i’m here now with my confused and awkward gravity-defying kiddo woojin!!! i have a rough plots page here, and you can read up on his profile here and past here.

hmu on tumblr im, discord (#4901), or kkt (theotakupikachu) whenever for individual plotting or brainstorming - although, i tend to be easier to reach here ~ i’m also about to start school again so forgive me for any spotty replies in the future !!! just trying to stay afloat like everyone else, y’know? ; 7 ;

i also whipped up his character in a day or two so forgive any minor spelling or grammar mistakes - i really wanted to give him a movement based power and initially based it off intangibility before i realized it was reserved at the time ;u;

but rambling aside, have some possible relationships and tldr under the cut ~ !!! it’s great to be back aaa

tldr; — never joined daybreak ! only ever saw the broadcast exposing mutants and the aftermath of the bombings - essentially, he didn’t know other people with powers existed until he saw it happen — currently lives with his aunt and uncle and is in his senior year of high school ;; although he spends most of his life outside in the city — his primary emotions consist of (・・。) and ( ￣ヘ￣ ) and he’s…pretty spacey and situationally unaware to be honest — pretty harmless - even when he bares his teeth, there’s barely much of a threat behind it / more likely to help you than hurt you y’feel? ;; — he goes by sparrow because an older dancer friend of his once called him that (because he’s young and looks cute but he doesn’t know that oops), but frankly his stage presence is more like that of a wolf’s — woojin isn’t really an intense guy as he might seem when he’s dancing or using his power - everything else to him is just kind of meh — fun fact but his power works more in the sense that his pull of gravity decreases when he feels less / feels nothing and increases when he feels more intense emotions (like panic, etc.) — actually kind of has an emotional barrier that prevents him from really increasing his gravity drastically due to a traumatic childhood incident which is why he doesn’t feel anything strongly and is so indifferent — is a good delivery boy but he’s also terrible at interacting with people so he gets the job done but the customers are lowkey like,,,,is he mute or something (kind of, but selectively) — scared of ponds and general bodies of water (save the ocean, he’s cool with that but he doesn’t really like swimming in it) — probably used to accidentally float around a lot as a kid in the dance studio and would panic trying to get down (which would lead to his gravity returning to normal OTL)

rls; — a dancing bro / good friend / someone he’s chill with because they’re both dancers and he tends to be more comfortable and open around them (aka so he can be weird with them) — a close friend that he somehow got close to and is also very weird around he’s a silly child okay — a crush, probably - can be a bad influence that he’s attracted to despite not knowing their true nature or!! a good one that he kind of naturally gravitates haha get it towards but basically he gets really mushy and soft around them and becomes a little puppy — someone who believes firmly in either co-existence or separation that wants to push him towards their side — someone to get him to loosen up / make him feel again by dragging him around to do fun stuff — partners in crime??? maybe??? or just someone equally weird — someone that tries to help him get over his fear of ponds — parental figure?? older sibling like figure???? role model????? basically anyone willing to take in an awkward turtle as a spiritual little brother / son / protege — a r i v a l — maybe someone he’s lowkey scared of / someone that puts him on edge for some reason and it ends up messing with his powers because of his shift in emotions whenever they’re around

#*ooc!#( truthfully i was on a small hiatus before finding out advk was open again aaaa )#( it makes me so happy to be back home tt )#( please feel free to talk to me !!!!! i don't bite uwu )

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seitsuya · 7 years

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Tagged by @fadeslikewhispers

WHISP IM SORRY THIS TOOK ME FOREVER OTL. Literally I’ve tried doing this twice already and both times tumblr decided to crash on me. But hey third time’s the charm yeh

1) Are you really ready for 93 questions?

Not really but I’m not backing out now

2) Was your last real relationship a mistake?

Was it even a real relationship

3) Who did you last say “I love you" to?

My parents

4) Do you regret it?

Why would i regret saying i love you to my parents haha

5) Have you ever been depressed?

Been depressed, I don’t think so? Felt depressed, yes

6) Are you a boy or girl?

100% girl

7) Who is your best friend?

Someone from school, I don’t actually know her tumblr ;;

8) How do you want to die?

If possible, without pain

9) What did you last eat?

Instant noodles

10) Played any sports?

I used to swim and play badminton a lot. I also did cheerleading?

11) Do you bite your nails?

Nope

12) When was your last physical fight?

I’ve never gotten into a physical fight before

13) Do you have an attitude?

I guess I do sometimes

14) Do you like someone?

Romantically, no

15) What is your real name?

Callie

16) Are you gonna get high later?

I don’t do drugs

17) Do you hate anyone at the moment?

No one in particular

18) Do you miss someone?

@fadeslikewhispers, I haven’t talked to you in ages and yes I miss you a lot ;;

19) Twirl or cut your spaghetti?

Twirl

20) Do you tan a lot?

Not really? Only when we had sports festival at school, when we had to practice cheerleading and stuff like that

21) Have any pets?

I had a golden retriever and koi and parrot fishes a few years back, not anymore though

22) How exactly are you feeling?

A lil stressed

23) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving?

Definitely yes

24) Ever made out in the bathroom?

Nope

25) Would you take any of your exes back?

Hell no

26) Are you scared of spiders?

Not really

27) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

28) Do you regret anything from your past?

A lot of things

29) What are your plans for this weekend?

Celebrate a friend’s birthday, meet up with a friend I haven’t met in 2 years omg, watch bts.. idk I haven’t really planned much

30) Do you want to have kids?

Um not really? I’m not that good with kids tbh

31) Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with an M?

32) Do you type fast?

I’m not sure if it would be considered fast. Average speed?

33) Do you have piercings? How many?

2, one on each ear

34) Want any more?

I kinda do yes

35) Can you spell well?

Yes and no

36) Do you miss anyone from your past?

Occasionally, I do

37) What are you craving right now?

38) Ever been to a bonfire party?

39) Have you ever been on a horse?

I think so?? Probably when I was younger

40) Kissed someone in a pick up truck?

41) Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

Probably yes

42) Have you ever been cheated on?

43) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

Apparently I have, but I’m not sure if they really cried or if they were just trying to mess with my feelings

44)Would you live with someone without marrying them?

Yes

45) What should you be doing?

Studying, writing

46) What’s irritating you right now?

Nothing much

47) Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?

48) Does somebody love you?

I sure hope so

49) What is your favourite colour?

Red, black, white, pastel colours

50) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?

Yup

51) Do you have trust issues?

I guess

52) Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

I’d say so, yes

53) Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?

Who knows. I hope not.

54) Who was the last person you cried to?

One of my best friends

55) Do you give out second chances too easily?

Yes

56) Is it easier to forgive or forget?

lol I literally never forget, forgiving someone is easier for me

57) Is this year the best year of your life?

LMAO NO.

58) What was your child hood nickname?

I don’t think I had any. That or I just don’t remember

59) Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

When I was a kid probably

60) Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

Yes

61) What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

Read some fics

62) Do you socialize often?

No..?

63) What is bothering you?

Need some time to figure that out

64) Have you ever been out of your state?

Yes

65) Do you play the Wii?

66) Are you listening to music right now?

Yes

67) Do you like Chinese food?

Depends on what chinese food but most of the time yes

68) Do you know your fathers b- day?

Yes

69) Are you afraid of the dark?

Sometimes

70) Is cheating ever okay?

wtf hell no

71) Are you mean?

Sometimes

72) Can you keep white shoes clean?

Maybe for the first few weeks or so

73) Do you believe in true love?

Not really. I’d like to though

74) Do you like the outside?

Depends

75) Are you currently bored?

A bit

76) Do you wanna get married?

Haven’t given it much thought

77) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

I guess, it depends

78) Are you hungry?

Not really

79) Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight?

Literally have never made out with anyone so no

80) What makes you happy?

Too many things to list out

81) Would you change your name?

Nope

82) Ever been to Alaska?

83) Do you watch the news?

Sometimes

84) What’s your zodiac sign?

Scorpio

85) Do you like Subway?

idk

86) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

87) Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

My best friend of the opposite sex is gay lmao. Hypothetical best friend. I’d probably tell them I’m not interested and try my best to stay friends with them. Or if I’m interested then who knows, maybe I’d try dating them

88) Do you talk like your friends?

I get influenced really easily tbh so sometimes i do HAHA

89) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them?

...Yes

90) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

Yesss

91) Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

One of my best friends, through text

92) Does it matter if your boyfriend smokes?

idk

93) Can you count to one million?

I mean, in what situation would you need to do this?? I’d probably mess up a quarter way through

Tagging: @liablackpandora, @tetsya, @tealilte.. I don’t actually know who else to tag but if anyone wants to do this, feel free! If you don’t want to do this, that’s fine too, no pressure ^^

#oh god that took me a while #thanks for tagging me Whisp!#tag games #tagged

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rinrynren · 7 years

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Tag Yourself

RULES: Tag 10 people you want to know better

Relationship Status: single

Favorite colours: I like black, white, shades of blue, and pastel pinks

Pets: one doggo :D he’s a cute lil yorkie

Last song I listened to: Attention by Charlie Puth

First fandom: Percy Jackson

Hobbies: drawing, reading, procrastinating, sleeping, and annoying the hell outta others

Favorite book: I love Percy Jackson but rn? ,,,actually i haven’t read an actual book for fun in awhile, but i’d recommend Joy Luck Club its a cute story

Worst thing I’ve eaten: fish. or shrimp i guess

Favorite place: my bed or my grandparent’s house since thats were i get to see my extended family

1. Are you named after someone? nuh uh

2. When is the last time you cried? this afternoon over a sad anime scene OTL

3. Do you like your handwriting? nope.

4. What is your favorite lunch meat? turkey

5. Do you have kids? no thanks, my brother scared me off them, but i love playing with them and spoiling them, i guess i’d be that fun aunt

6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? nah I’m a mess

7. Do you use sarcasm? yes

8. Do you still have your tonsils? yes

9. Would you bungee jump? no i’ll die

10. What is your favorite kind of cereal? dried strawberries with frosted flakes

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? i slip them off

12. Do you think you’re a strong person? nah I’m easy to mess with and pretty weak emotionally too

13. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? mint chocolate chip or green tea

14. What is the first thing you notice about people? their smile

15: Red or pink? pink

16. What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? uhhhh a lot. but i’d say my lack of curves lmao

17. What color pants and shoes are you wearing now? black sweatpants and no shoes

18. What was the last thing you ate? fried rice

19. What are you listening to right now? Shangri’La by VIXX

20. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? white. the color thats the most useless with coloring

21. Favorite smell? cherry blossoms

22. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? dad

23. Favorite sport to watch? I’m not a sports person

24. Hair color? black, brown, some blonde-brown? (green highlights faded)

25. Eye color? brown

26. Do wear contacts? nope but i probably should since i lost my glasses

27. Favorite food to eat? strawberries

28. Scary movies or comedy? comedy cause I’m scaredy cat

29: Last movie you watched? Guardians of the Galaxy 2 :D

30. What color shirt are you wearing? I’m wearing a grey sweater…

31. Summer or winter? summer

32. Hugs or kisses? hugs

33. What book are you currently reading? I found this nice book on uncensored fairy tales so I’m reading that lmao

34. Who do you miss right now? no one

35. What is on your mouse pad? my mouse

36. What is the last tv program you watched? avatar the last airbender with my cousins

37. What is the best sound? hmmm a piano or guzheng when they’re played proper lmao

38. Rolling Stones or The Beatles? i never listened to them

39. What is the furthest you have ever traveled? Wisconsin or Pennsylvania

40. Do you have a special talent? i play piano?

41. Where were you born? california

42. People you expect to participate in this survey? a few friends if they wanna

tagged by @typical-dork - questions for me

What was your last dream about? I was running late for school…again…

What is your ideal date or hangout? a cafe or my own home when i live alone i guess lmao

Do you want any piercings or tattoos? If yes, what do you want? I want another ear piercing and maybe a tattoo on my wrist or ankle

What memory do you cherish the most? i have several lmao but they all have to do with me getting physical affection from a family member or a friend

What is an impulsive thing you want to do/try to do? ditch school i guess?

What are your aesthetics/style? hm… dunno lmao maybe blacks and whites with splashes of color?

Who is your favorite youtuber currently? Danisnotonfire/ Daniel Howell

Do you play any games? I love playing MMORPGs but since i have a mac i can’t play them OTL

If you can permanently turn back time once, would you do it? yes. i made lots of mistakes in the past that were just plain stupid

How are you feeling rn? dead tired and stressed

What accomplishments are you proud of? I’m proud i lived this this long i guess

my questions for you~

1. Morning or night person?

2. Favorite song right now?

3. Any siblings, if so what do you think of them? if no, would you want some?

4. Sweets or savory?

5. What is one superpower you would want and why?

6. Would you want to live in an apt (what kind) or a house?

7. What is one impulsive thing you’ve done in the past? Do you regret it?

8. Do you like wearing jewelry? (earrings, rings, bracelets, etc..)

9. How many alarms do you need to wake up?

10. How do you think your friends see you?

11. How many languages do you know?

Tagged people: @theonewiththecrazedfangirl @my-dreamreality @infinitizedstarlight @caleoath @1runw1thw0lves @eurekaadyne @lordofthedumpster @little-yoongi12323 @cinnamin-suga annnnnd that’s all im tagging but if you dont want to do it then no biggie~ also if you want to do this but wasn’t tagged then just go for it~

#personal #me

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tigertae · 7 years

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70 horrible questions

UWaaaaa I got tagged by @acelululala. Thanks you sweetie~ <3

It’s under the cut cause it’s pretty long :’D

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? Me and my mom are very close as of now. But me and my dad never really speak :’D 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? I don’t remember O_O 03: Do you regret anything? Yes. Who doesn’t :’) 04: Are you insecure? Very..... OTL 05: What is your relationship status? Single. And that’s how I like it :’D 06: How do you want to die? Uhm.... As less painful as possible? 07: What did you last eat? a little cake filled with custard. 08: Played any sports? When I was really little I played volleyball. I don’t remember much of it tho. lol 09: Do you bite your nails? Not anymore~ 10: When was your last physical fight? uhm.... 10-12 years ago. 11: Do you like someone? Yes. :’D 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? Yup..... 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? Yea. Trump :’D 14: Do you miss someone? Yea 15: Have any pets? Yup~ We have a doggie called Jemie <33333 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? Neutral?.... No... Slightly annoyed actually.... My mom’s boyfriend just told us off over something HE always does....... 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? Nooo 18: Are you scared of spiders? No. I was tho. Not anymore~ 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Yes. But only if it’s to give advice or something... Not to stay. 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? Wha? What is snogged?..... /looks it up/ oh.... uhm.... In a car? Yea. It was in a car.... 21: What are your plans for this weekend? Lol the weekend just ended. But I have no plans for any weekend tho lol. I’m poor and my friends live far away from me and never want to come over :’D 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? Nope. 23: Do you have piercings? How many? I have tunnels in my ears~ Does that count? 14mm. 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? English! :D and artsy things. 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? I do.... :( this question made me saaaaad ;A; 26: What are you craving right now? Lately I crave pizza alot of the time. 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? I don’t know.... I hope not ;A; well... I think I have tho... I turned down 2 guys before.... and I was the one that broke up with my ex... ;A; 28: Have you ever been cheated on? Nope 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? I don’t know... Does during a break up count?... Cause then yes.... ;-; 30: What’s irritating you right now? My mom’s BF :’D 31: Does somebody love you? I hope so :’D 32: What is your favourite color? omfg I had fav colors but really I just love all colors. I love colors~ 33: Do you have trust issues? I don’t know... I don’t think so? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? I always dream full stories so.... I’m going to try to make it short. I was in some kind of mall and my mom and my bro where there and we were searching for something and there were objects all over the place so we had to maneuver over them to get somewhere.... and at one point I was flying :’D 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? My mom I think 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? No. I’m actually kinda harsh in that point... :’D I do give someone a second chance but it depends on the thing they did. I had a friend once who basically wished me dead and told me to kill myself and all that nasty stuff... When she called me a few days after that I told her to not call me again and just hung up.... :’D 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? Idk... 38: Is this year the best year of your life? The year just started. 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? Uuuuuuuuhm 20? 21? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? No. lol 51: Favourite food? Pffffft idk... I love so many foods... But we have this dish in the Netherlands that’s called “Boerenkool” and my mom makes the best. With bacon and “Unox Worst” <333333 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? I guess.... But the universe hates my guts if that’s true 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? Kakaotalk 54: Is cheating ever okay? NO!! 55: Are you mean? I hope not :’D 56: How many people have you fist fought? 2. My bro and a girl from school. 57: Do you believe in true love? Not reallly.. 58: Favourite weather? 24 C with a slight little wind 59: Do you like the snow? It depends.... Playing with snow is nice but when you have to travel through it, it’s not... 60: Do you wanna get married? Nope. 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? I guess? :’D 62: What makes you happy? SHINee~ <3 63: Would you change your name? Yes. Cause my actual name is Kimberley. I’d rather change it to Kim permanently. I love my last name tho “van der Linden”. It sounds super fancy lol. Also it fits behind literally ANY name. 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? Yes. Since she lives 3 countries away. lol And if she was right here it would still be hard tho... 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? This happened to me irl and it was complicated asFuCK... I liked him back and then we kissed and then it was all a mess and complicated and.... we don’t speak to each other anymore now, so..... And I miss him alot actually..... Gahd.... I’m trying real hard to forget about him tbh.... 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? Nope. 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? My bro. :’D 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? A friend on Kakaotalk. :) 69: Do you believe in soulmates? Idk.... That stuff is really complicated since people change throughout the years... That’s why I don’t really believe in true love either. 70: Is there anyone you would die for? Yes. Absolutely.

This was kinda hard :’D Hah~ But thank you so much for tagging me <333 But I’m not going to tag anyone tho OTL Im sorry OTL ^^”

#personal thingy #acelululala

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wbtrashking · 7 years

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turbulence

((HAHAHA im dying in reverse au hell. save me!!! OTL ♥♥♥ pls keep an eye out on em’s blog @narootos for more fresh reverse au art!!

follow @yoireverse for all of our stuff together!!

the blog is still under construction, but here’s a tag page for easy browsing of the art + fics!))

summary: I messed up. Victor watches Yuuri stalk out of the hotel room with one arm outstretched, as if he could hug Yuuri - his mentor; his lover; his idol - and all of their problems would disappear.

Yuuri could get frustrated and tired and impatient, but he’s never called Victor out of his name. He’s far too polite for that. The word idiot rings in Victor’s head like he’s been slapped.

notes: ep 11/12 side story; scene expansion from body music (ao3 | tumblr). word count: ~1.9k rating: teen ✮read on ao3 | ✮writing tag | ✮RQs CLOSED - feel free to send me reverse au hcs + questions on my personal blog! | ✮fic tag on @yoireverse

For a week that had started so incredibly well, things have taken a turn for the worse in their hotel room.

Barcelona is a welcoming and warm town. There are historical buildings painted in vivid pastels, gorgeous cathedrals to pass, plenty of main streets filled with places to shop.

Hell, the night before Victor’s SP performance, Yuuri and his student had flashed their rings at a table full of Victor’s rivals. It had embarrassed the older man to no end, to the point that Yuuri had hidden his face in his scarf and blushed up his roots, but Victor could have stripped nude and paraded about the restaurant; that’s how thrilled he is to have a matching set of rings.

Now?

Now, Victor is sitting in his hotel room alone, head full of angry thoughts. He’s been turning over the possibility of his skittish, beautiful coach leaving his side for months. Yuuri’s said all along that he’s ready to retire. That he doesn’t feel that he has what it takes to keep competing out there with the young kids, with his eyes downcast and a sheepish smile on his lips. Yuuri’s casual dismissal of Victor’s praises and his avoidance of the subject of a potential return to the ice burn the young Russian like a brand, and now, he has to sit with guilt hot in his throat.

I messed up. Victor watches Yuuri stalk out of the hotel room with one arm outstretched, as if he could hug Yuuri - his mentor; his lover; his idol - and all of their problems would disappear.

Yuuri could get frustrated and tired and impatient, but he had never called Victor out of his name. He’s far too polite for that. The word idiot rings in Victor’s head like he’s been slapped.

Victor tries to sleep. He fidgets with the ring on his finger restlessly, pacing the hotel room floor like a wild animal, blue eyes darting to the dark landscape below.

Barcelona is gorgeous at night, but all Victor can think is that the city feels suffocating.

Yuuri goes to a bar. He sits on the stool, pushes his glasses up, and murmurs his thanks in quick, choppy Spanish. The barkeep is a dark-skinned woman with incredibly short hair and she gives him a look before heading off to chat with her other patrons in chirpy English.

As soon as the whiskey hits the back of his throat, he immediately feels himself relaxing. Anxiety screams at the back of his mind like a boiling kettle, but it is a more muted sound with the weight of alcohol in his stomach.

“Victor, retiring?” The younger man is a masterpiece. His hair is regal, his jaw a fine set. Honestly, Yuuri’s still not entirely sure why his student had been so persistent in wooing him, or why Victor isn’t the one with dozens of gold medals to his name. Victor is incredible, and his career is far from over, so long as the Russian man’s legs don’t give out.

Speaking of.

Yuuri groans, massaging his right leg. He’s never told Victor, but he had a somewhat minor strain in his right knee towards the end of the last season. Victor’s a fan, but Yuuri hadn’t even released this information to Celestino, his coach. It’s unlikely that Yuuri’s pupil knows about it, and Yuuri wants to keep it that way.

He locks eyes with the bartender for a moment and requests a new beverage before quickly looking elsewhere. As soon as the first glass is taken away and replaced with a fresh drink, he sighs and is startled to find someone sinking into the empty stool beside him.

“Heya,” Phichit waves, opening the drink menu with a light smile. “Fancy seeing you here, Yuuri.”

Yuuri raises an eyebrow. “Phichit! You’re drinking on the night before a competition?”

“Nah,” Phichit easily replies, pointing to the coffee-and-tea section of the menu. “I just didn’t feel like staying inside, you know?”

“Yeah,” the older man says, swirling the ice inside of the glass around. “I know.”

Back when Yuuri had been traveling the world for competitions and inspirations, he’d run into Phichit. Phichit is several years his junior and he’s one of the older men still on the circuit at 22, but the two of them had become fast friends in Detroit. Celestino had coached Yuuri and Phichit for three years before Yuuri’s retirement, and both men make an effort to keep up with each other online despite constantly being on the move.

Phichit is no stranger to Yuuri’s panic attacks.

“What’s on your mind, Yuuri?” Phichit blinks his dark eyes at Yuuri with a gentle smile. “You hate drinking before anything important happens.”

“Thanks for the reminder,” Yuuri mumbles quietly. “Stop me before I get too drunk, okay?”

“Mmhmm.”

Yuuri sweeps his eyes around the room, putting a hand to his hair with misty eyes. “Victor, you know,” he chokes on the words as if he’s physically pained to be saying them. “He said something about refusing to keep competing if I didn’t come back. I don’t know what to do.”

“He bargained with you?” Phichit tries to hold down his excitement for Yuuri’s potential return, mostly because his friend seems so torn about it. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” Yuuri snaps, downing more whiskey in a furious gulp. He pushes his glasses up and pinches the bridge of his nose, uncaring that the other patrons are staring at them. Phichit hurries to calm him down so his friend isn’t yelling. “Stupid idiot! He thinks he’s being all, all...gallant or something, because he looks up to me. Which is dumb, because I’m not. I’m not as great as he thinks I am, and he’s stupid.”

“Yuuri,” Phichit deadpans, giving the Japanese man the most flat look that he can muster, “He was bragging about getting engaged to you less than twenty-four hours ago.”

“That’s the problem,” Yuuri replies softly, the heat of his breath almost warm enough to fog up his glasses. “We’ve just been. We’ve been so close, and I think he’s forgotten that I can’t be everything he wants. I’m too old now, Phichit. He’s in love with the idea of our romance on the ice, but I’m...” Yuuri flicks his eyes down at the bar, tears falling hot down his cheeks. “I’ll never be that good. Good enough to go until my legs fall off, and it scares me, saying no to Victor.”

“Why do you have to say no?” Phichit’s mouth forms an O around his straw and he tilts his head in curiosity. “You don’t want to come back to competitive skating?”

Honestly, Yuuri hasn’t thought about it.

“I’m too old.”

“Not what I asked you, Yuuri.”

Yuuri folds his hands together, sniffles, and hangs his head, thoughts swirling. Does he?

His legs ache and his back hurts. He’s been out on the ice with Victor every day, dancing, skating; practice, practice, practice. His knee doesn’t bother him most days. Yuuri lands all of his jumps, keeps up with Victor when they run through the pairs routine that they will unveil at the exhibition in a couple of days.

He smiles next to Victor, dreams of floating on skates next to his younger lover forever. Dreams of standing on the podium beside Victor, of having a breathless, honest rivalry like he’s never truly experienced. Yuuri’s been battling himself more than his peers, his fear of failure scaring him more than anyone else he’s battled to the top.

God. That dream hurts. Yuuri wipes his red eyes and nose on the back of his sweater, trying to school his sobs so that they don’t become wails.

“Yes,” Yuuri finally says, leaning on his elbows and trying to keep his voice from breaking off as Phichit puts a hand on his back. “Yes, of course I want to, I love skating. I love skating, and I love Victor, but I’d have to choose, and I can’t do that.”

“Why choose between them?” The Thai man reminds him, shrugging lightly, rubbing circles on Yuuri’s back. “You love Victor, Victor loves you, and you both love to skate. He’d love to have you out there. Fighting Victor for the top spot at the podium doesn’t mean that he won’t still be in love with you at the end of the day.”

Yuuri’s head whips to the side so quickly that his glasses are skewed. His face is red from the alcohol, and he breathes out, “Huh?”

Phichit rolls his eyes. “You’re starting to get tipsy, so there’s no point in explaining myself again. Just think about it, Yuuri. Coming out of retirement shouldn’t spell the end of your relationship. Besides, I’d love to compete against you again!”

“You’re just being nice to me because I’m like, your frumpy dad friend.”

“I am being nice to you because you are being totally ridiculous. Being the skippy son friend is an added bonus. Up ya go!” Phichit slaps a handful of euros down for their drinks and tips before slinging the hiccuping Yuuri over his shoulder and heading for Yuuri’s hotel. The two of them walk-stumble to the place, Phichit gets Yuuri back to a fretting Victor and tucks the older man in with a curt nod to the Russian.

Victor settles with making sure Yuuri doesn’t throw up and choke in his sleep until he dozes off himself, anger and frustration still keeping him from getting a full night’s rest.

In the couple hours between the exhibition and evening banquet, Victor lies on Yuuri’s chest on the bed and sighs, tangling one hand in Yuuri’s gelled back hair. “That was a stupid fight.”

“Not talking about it,” Yuuri murmurs tiredly, adjusting so that he can wrap one hand around Victor. “Thanks for not dropping me this time.”

“You didn’t drop me either, so the gratitude is mutual.” Victor closes his eyes and threatens to fall asleep to the lull of Yuuri’s quickly pacing heart beating against his chest, where his pulse is equally fast. Victor smiles into Yuuri’s turtleneck. “I’m happy you’re coming back, Yuuri.”

“You’ve only told me twenty times.” Yuuri says, laughing lightly, his breath shallow. He moves a hand up Victor’s back to toy with the end of his fiancé’s ponytail. “I’m happy you’re happy, Victor.”

Victor beams, kissing the underside of Yuuri’s jaw. “I love you!” Yuuri colors and Victor sits up on his elbows, kissing Yuuri’s cheeks a few more times. “I love you, I love you, you’re the best.”

Yuuri swats him off with a big grin. “Stop it.” After a moment, the two of them sigh, taking a long pause to drink each other in, lying face-to-face on the bed. “I love you too,” Yuuri quietly murmurs, interlacing his hands with Victor’s.

“We’re gonna get married,” Victor sing-songs.

“I will end you,” Yuuri flushes another shade darker, turning away from Victor’s face. “Oh, crap. Did you still want to go in for that piercing appointment? We can always wait until we go back to St. Petersburg.”

“No, let’s go!!” Victor drags Yuuri up and waits for the older man to scramble up from the mattress and kick on his shoes. “I want everyone to see it. Chris is gonna be so salty. That alone makes the appointment worthwhile.”

Yuuri rolls his eyes again, but he trails behind Victor, the two of them hurrying through the streets of Barcelona with soft smiles, holding hands.

#yuri on ice #yoi #victor nikiforov #yuuri katsuki #txt #wtk writing #reverse au

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