#illya did it first so maybe it was because they were supposed to play a couple no sense in keeping the formalities

[paranoia-assault]

Fate/Stay Night Review

I've been meaning to get around to this for a while, so this post will contain my thoughts on Fate/Stay Night. I'll be going in order of how you're supposed to play the routes. Massive spoilers btw. Also this is copied over from Twitter, so sorry for any weird formatting.

Keep in mind I enjoyed every route, so any negative points I bring up never made me think the route wasn't worth reading. That said, UBW > HF > Fate, so we'll be starting with my least favorite route.

There's 2 reasons why the Fate route is my least favorite. The first is that is has to explain a lot, so it feels like not much happens in it compared to the other two routes. The second is Shirou's "girls can't fight" bullshit. I can't stand Shirou in the 1st half of the route.  Shirou does get better, but this is probably my least favorite version of him. I cannot stand every moment he tries to hold Saber back from fighting and almost gets himself killed because "girls can't fight." It is extremely aggravating.

That said, Shirou is fantastic in the second half of the route. The Fate route is Saber's story, and he plays the perfect part in it. His dream of being a super hero goes perfectly with her wish of being a great king. Seeing these ideologies clash, then come together, is amazing. It's why I like the Shirou/Saber ship despite Shirou/Rin being my favorite. These two were practically made for each other. Last Episode only adds to this, and it made me retroactively like the Fate route more. Saber's ending was beautiful and their eventual reunion even more so.

Illya was also great as a villain. I do think Gilgamesh and Kirei both have routes where they shine better as villains, so when I think "the villain of the Fate route," it's Ilya who comes to mind. Berserker was the perfect threat, and the two together were genuinely terrifying.

Summed up thoughts on the Fate route: Good starting point. A bit slow, and Shirou is very annoying in the first half, but the Saber/Shirou dynamic in the second half makes the route worth playing. 7/10.

Time for my favorite route: Unlimited Blade Works. I fucking adore this route. When I think "Fate/Stay Night," this is the route that comes to mind. If I were to recommend one route, it would be this one. I even plan on watching the anime for it at some point.

The main reason I love this route is Shirou. UBW Shioru specifically is one of my favorite Fate characters. He is confronted with a massive challenge to his ideals. He's pretty much shown they're flawed. But rather than toss them aside, he strengthens his convictions. He denies his future self, determined to be different. Yeah, his ideals might have flaws, but why should that matter? Carrying on Kiritsugu's dream is meaningful to him. The pain is worth saving those he can. Even if it's a thankless, miserable task, he won't turn away from it.

Oh, and let's talk about Archer. I love him. Seeing a pessimistic side of Shirou, a potential result of his ideals, was fascinating. I was genuinely shocked when the twist happened, and it made me deeply appreciate Archer's character. Archer is another of my favorite F/SN chars.

Now, let's talk about my favorite F/SN character, Rin. Rin is great. She was trained to understand and accomplish what has to be done, but has a soft spot not unlike Shirou's that leads her to help others. She had a painful upbringing, but doesn't regret a second of it.

She is the perfect foil for Shirou. She recognizes the pain his ideals are putting him through, but rather than force him to throw them away, she decides to stay with him to make sure he doesn't push himself too far. She tries to help Shriou learn to enjoy himself. Shirou/Rin is my favorite ship in the VN for this reason. They compliment each other so well. Their personalities clash in a way that lets them both grow, and they're genuinely cute together, though you can say that last part about any of the 3 main Shirou ships.

The villains are also great. Caster isn't the same type of threat as Illya/Berserker, but her backstory and dynamic with her Master is really interesting to see. I enjoyed her moments on screen. Gilgamesh was the perfect final boss for this route though. Specifically for Shirou. Gilgamesh' powers match Shirou's reality marble perfectly. Infinite Noble Phantasms. Gilgamesh calls Shirou fake, but that leads to Shirou showing how an imitation can outclass the original. It's such a smart hero/villain dynamic, and the perfect end to Shirou's story in UBW.

Saber even gets some closure in this route, though not as much as in Fate. She gets to be Rin's Servant at the end (which I adored btw), and once again chooses to destroy the girl, moving on from her past. Also, she lives in the good ending which makes me happy.

I also need to talk about Illya. Her scene with Berserker is one of her best scenes in the entire VN. She's barely on screen in this route compared to the other routes, but somehow she made just as much of an impact with that time. I felt so bad for her in that last scene.

Summed up thoughts on the UBW route: This route is where all the characters shone their brightest. Shirou's ideals are handled perfectly, almost every Servant gets the attention they deserve, and the writing is overall high quality the entire route. 9/10.

Finally, Heaven's Feel...I think my thoughts on this route will be the most controversial, as I have very mixed feelings. 

I do want to say this first. I love Sakura. She is a fantastic character, and she deserves the world. I'm glad she gets the spotlight in this route.

I also think Kirei was at his best this route. His backstory, along with his final confrontation with Shirou, were both extremely well written. He went from a despicable villain to a despicable written I love to hate. He almost stole the show as much as Sakura did, honestly.

Rider was great this route. I love the twist that Sakura is her true master, and her protective nature over Sakura was great to see. This is the only route where she manages to stand her ground against Saber for a decent period of time, too. I'm glad she lives to the end.

The highlight of the route, however, has to be Sakura and Rin's bond. Learning that they were sisters, and seeing them slowly and awkwardly get closer, is fantastic. That final confrontation between the two of them blew me away with the spectacle & Rin using the second sorcery. Of course, the hug that ended the fight was the best part. Rin realizing she can't kill Sakura after all, despite everything she said to Shirou, was beautiful. Sakura's horror at thinking she killed her sister, showing she's not a full monster yet, was tragically heartwarming.

Them bringing the sorceries in with Illya and Rin was nice. I like how we got an epilogue that took place two years after the final battle rather than a few months. There is a lot to like about this route. 

...But there's also a lot I don't like.

Zouken and Assassin are just...okay villains. I don't think they're terrible, but they're not as interesting as any of the other villains in F/SN. 

My main complaint is that this route introduced too much. So many elements are here that aren't even touched on in previous routes. Zouken, true Assassin, the crest worms, the true Holy Grail, Angru Mainyu, these are all elements of the route that I'm just supposed to accept only come into play under these circumstances. Sometimes it feels like they came up with it all after the other two routes were written. None of them are badly written per se, it just feels so out of nowhere that I couldn't fully get into the story here. 

As for what I do think is badly written...I don't like Shirou in this route. He feels more selfish than in the others, often pushing aside others' feelings. The main moment that comes to mind is when Illya goes with Sakura. When Shirou finds her, he slaps her and yells at her, not accepting her feelings of wanting the end of her life to be meaningful. And there is no way to escape her death. The route makes that clear. Shirou also throws away his ideals for Sakura, which I don't like. The route before this one had him stick to his ideals despite being given evidence of the despair it will lead to. Yet here he tosses them aside without that, simply for one person.

Maybe badly written was too harsh. Shirou's fine, I like him more than in the first half of the Fate route, but he just doesn't seem to fit with the other instances of Shirou, and there were often times he frustrated me. Again, I did love his confrontation with Kirei though.

Now for the romance of this route. Shirou/Sakura. I'm sorry, but...I'm not a fan of this one. It's cute, even made me emotional at times. I think these two can have a great relationship. The thing is, I don't like how it happens here specifically. I think these two are way too dependent on each other, to the point that one can't live without the other. Just look at the bad ending where Rin kills Sakura and Shirou gives up entirely, or the normal ending where Sakura wastes away her life after Shirou's death. There's even a physical dependence due to the state of Shirou's body at the end of the route. It's honestly worrying how much they need one another.

I think they can grow past this, and I'm sure they do since the true end is a happy one. I don't hate their ship. It's my least favorite of the three, but I can easily see it being someone's favorite. Hell, I know someone for who it is. The ship isn't awful, just has some issues.

Back to the route as a whole, it is certainly the most ambitious, but I think they got carried away at times. It's certainly more geared toward horror as well, especially with those bad endings. Not that that's a bad thing, even if I'm not often into horror.

Summed up thoughts on the HF route: A spectacular finale to the VN, but it has a few hiccups along the way. There are a lot of great character moments and interesting ideas that make it worth the time. The true ending is beautiful as well. 8/10.

Overall thoughts on F/SN: A great time that I would recommend to anyone who can get it working on their computer. Fantastic characters and cool concepts drive what can be just decent writing at times, and the high points are really high. Definitely worth the lows. 8/10.

Quick add on for my thoughts on the prequel, Fate/Zero: An amazing first half that got me attached to so many characters, but it falls apart in the second half due to Gen Urobuchi's more problematic writing tendencies. Those have been discussed to death, so I won’t go into detail on them here, Still, the show has enough moments that make it worth watching. 6/10.

That's my experience with Fate so far. I'm about halfway through the first arc of FGO, so I'll make a thread summarizing my thoughts on each singularity when the time comes. Also I want to read Fate/Hollow Ataraxia if I can. Overall I can say I’m glad I got into this franchise, and I’m excited to engage in more Fate content.

Anyway, this review took me 80 minutes to write, and another 15 to copy over here. Clearly I’m pretty passionate about this franchise.

#fate #fate stay night #fate stay series #fate stay ubw #unlimited blade works #heaven's feel #fate stay night spoilers

[cha-melodius]

The Definition of Madness Chapter 5

Whumptober No. 26: Concussion

Fandom: The Man from UNCLE (2015)

Pairings: Napoleon Solo/Illya Kuryakin, Napoleon Solo & Illya Kuryakin & Gaby Teller

Summary: They say the definition of madness is doing the same thing and expecting a different result.

Or, Illya gets stuck in a very whumpy time loop.

Ao3 Link

TW for this chapter: implied suicide. Only a very brief mention of it, and definitely no details of any kind. I think you can probably guess the context of this given the nature of the story. I will say that the latter half of this chapter is very warm and fluffy, so I'm not leaving you in a dark place.

*****

Previous Chapter

Illya’s not sure how he does it, but he manages to wake up hours before dawn. The safehouse is dead silent, and his partners will be asleep for a while yet. As quickly and as quietly as he can, he arms himself with every possible weapon he can strap to his body and throws extra ammunition and some random bits of portable food into a small backpack.

He practically runs up the mountain, covering the distance in less than half the amount of time it normally takes them. The forest is pitch black around him, but he doesn’t need to see where he’s going. He knows it in his bones, by this point.

The sun is just peeking over the horizon when he arrives at the compound. He doesn’t cut his way in, because he’s sure there’s some kind of silent alarm that gets triggered, and instead finds a tree that’s been allowed to grow too close to the fence. It’s not the easiest climb, but he makes it high enough to launch himself over the fence, tucking into a roll as he lands on the other side.

It’s odd, seeing the compound in the daylight. Somehow it looks just as deserted as it is at night, like it’s only ever staffed by a skeleton crew of guards. He knows better than to let himself get lulled into a false sense of security, though. There must be some hidden part of the compound that he hasn’t discovered yet, underground perhaps, somewhere the mysterious man in charge hides out. Somehow Illya has never seen him until someone has gotten captured, but he can’t possibly just appear out of nothing.

Illya finds a lone guard about his height and knocks him out, quickly stripping him down in a storeroom. His uniform is a bit tight on Illya, but it’s not too noticeable. Concealing his weapons as best he can, Illya pulls the guard’s cap low over his eyes and steps back out into the facility.

He should have done this ages ago, he thinks almost idly as he wanders freely through the compound. He learns a lot more about their targets, understands a lot more about the facility, and his partners are safe. Well, he doesn’t know that they’re safe. He has no idea what they’re doing, to be honest, but at least this time he can pretend.

If there is an entrance to some underground bunker, it remains stubbornly hidden. Illya has poured over nearly every inch of the compound, and so eventually he returns to the chemical building. He’d been avoiding it, in part because of the bad memories and in part because it always feels like a trap. Then again, maybe it feels that way because it’s where the information he actually needs is kept.

The building is empty, as it always seems to be. Illya finds a high, secluded perch on a nearby building and watches for a long time, hoping to see some sign of activity, but there’s nothing. He briefly wonders if the reason that no one seems to be around is because they are in the process of attacking the safehouse, but he pushes the thought from his mind.

Eventually he climbs down from his perch and creeps into the building. It’s a familiar space at this point, given that most of the loops seem to end with them dying there, but most of the times he’s there he’s too busy to really look around. To wit, this time he finds a door hidden along one wall, partially obstructed from view by lab benches and equipment. The lock on it is strange and high-tech, like nothing he’s ever seen before, and he wishes Napoleon were here. He’d probably be able to crack it no problem.

Illya spends a long time trying to figure out the door. Long enough that he is, finally, lulled into a false sense of security. Surely if they knew he was here, they would have acted by now. He’s considering putting some charges down and trying to just blow his way through the door, when the day finally catches up with him.

He hears the footstep behind him too late. Turns too slowly to defend himself. After all of the myriad ways he’s been attacked, it seems almost absurd that this time he’s taken out by nothing more than some kind of heavy club that smacks hard into his temple and makes him see stars before everything goes black.

*****

The thing is, it doesn’t kill him.

Illya wakes in a cell. The floor is cold, damp concrete underneath him, and even though the air isn’t particularly cool, it chills him to his bones. When he tries to open his eyes he sees there is a high, barred window letting a sliver of light in, but even that is too much for him. He winces and rolls onto his side, pushing himself up just enough to heave out what little is in his stomach before collapsing to the ground again.

Fuck. He hasn’t been concussed this badly in a long time. He forces his eyes open again and the world spins around him, but he can’t just lie here. He has to find some way out. Unfortunately his efforts to move end with him dry heaving again, and he curls reflexively into a ball. Maybe in a bit, then.

“So nice to finally meet you, Mr. Kuryakin,” a familiar voice says, some unknown amount of time later.

Illya pries his eyes open to see—who else?—the mysterious man in charge standing outside his cell. A small smile plays on his lips, mocking and smug, as he surveys Illya where he still lies on the floor of the cell.

“You look to be in pretty rough shape, there,” he says lightly. “Sorry for the rude welcome, but, you see, my boys can get a bit carried away sometimes.” “Fuck you,” Illya manages, spitting the taste of bile out of his mouth.

The man laughs at this. “Ah, there’s the spirit I was expecting. You surprised us today, Mr. Kuryakin. Did you know that?” “Just kill me and be done with it.”

Silence falls heavy in the air, and when Illya looks up again the man is staring at him with a calculating expression on his face.

“You’re the one resetting the day, aren’t you?”

It is perhaps the very last thing that Illya thought he would hear. Surprise chokes him and he erupts in a coughing fit, wincing against the blinding pain in his skull.

“I suppose that makes sense,” the man continues, “given all that you seem to know about the facility. Fortunate for us that we caught you, then.” “What are you talking about?” Illya growls as he tries to force himself to his hands and knees.

“Don’t play dumb. You know what I mean. I don’t know how you stole it from me, but no matter. I’ll get it back shortly.” “Impossible.”

The man raises his eyebrows questioningly. “Did you never wonder how we always know where your team is, or what you’ll do? I spent fifty loops trying to outsmart you before I lost it. I have to admit, you lot are quite creative. Far more formidable than anyone else who has tried to come take us out. How many loops has it been for you, now? Have you discovered all of our traps?”

Illya doesn’t answer. The idea that he’s nearly thirty loops behind their adversary is staggering. He pushes himself up until he can lean against the wall, ignoring the lurch in his stomach and cursing how his head is at once throbbing and fuzzy.

“How does it work?” he groans eventually. Clearly there’s no use pretending he doesn’t know what the man is talking about. “How does it end?”

“You don’t think I’m going to actually tell you that, do you?” the man laughs. “As to how it ends: don’t worry, there is a cure, so to speak. Once we pull you out, I’ll take the reset back, and your pesky team will finally be eliminated.”

“None of this makes sense,” Illya says. Granted, his mental facilities aren’t at their best right now, but even so he’s pretty sure this is insane. He would never believe it for a second if he hadn’t been living it. “How can some drug do all this? Time doesn’t work that way. Reality doesn’t work that way.”

The man smirks at him. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s not real. Maybe it’s all in your head. Maybe it’s all some elaborate psychological torture to get you to reveal your plans.” He turns, then, and walks toward the door, pausing only for at the threshold to glance back at Illya. “What do you think?”

He leaves Illya alone in the rapidly falling dark of the cell. To be honest, Illya doesn’t know what to think anymore, but for the first time the idea of losing the ability to reset the day is terrifying. What if he gets this ‘cure’, whatever it is, and his partners are already dead? What if this is the day that he loses everything, and there are no redos?

That night, for the first time in this already too-long nightmare, Illya does the unthinkable.

*****

He wakes up in his bed at the safehouse with the mother of all splitting headaches. The early morning sunlight is just starting to come through the window and it’s already too much. There’s pretty much no way he’s making it up the mountain today, so he might as well stay in bed, but then he hears Napoleon humming and thinks maybe he should try to keep him from burning his hand.

Turns out, trying to push himself out of bed is a mistake. His head swims and he collapses onto all fours with a heavy thud, retching the bile from his empty stomach onto the hardwood.

“Christ, Peril, what’s wrong?” Napoleon gasps as he tears open the door to the room. He rushes forward and bends down at Illya’s side, one hand grabbing his arm while the other rests between his shoulders, rubbing small, comforting circles. 

Illya groans and allows himself to be hustled back into the bed, throwing an arm over his eyes against the light. “Can you…” he mutters, gesturing blindly toward the window, and after a moment he hears the blinds shut.

A few moments later the edge of the mattress dips as Napoleon sits down next to him, then a tentative hand brushes over his arm. “Peril, what’s going on?”

“M’sick,” Illya mumbles, because how do you explain that you have a concussion despite the fact that you didn’t actually hit your head?

Illya pulls his arm off his face and squints at his partner in the dim light, and finds Napoleon staring at him with no small amount of care and concern written across his face. He reaches forward and lays his palm gently across Illya’s forehead, presumably checking for a fever, and for some bizarre reason Illya shivers under his touch. It occurs to him, then, that Napoleon didn’t end up burning his hand on the pan after all, and the realization shocks a laugh out of him.

“Well you’re not feverish, but you might be delirious,” Napoleon says wryly. “I don’t know what this is, but you’re obviously going to have to stay back today.”

“No!” Illya say sharply, then winces at the volume of his own voice. He clamps Napoleon’s wrist in an iron grip. “You can’t go. You and Gaby, you have to stay too.”

“Come now, Peril, I appreciate the concern, but the two of us can handle a little recon without you.”

“Please, Napoleon,” Illya grits out, clenching his eyes tightly closed, “don’t go. I…” I need you, he can’t quite make himself say. “Don’t go, just for today. For me.”

Illya squeezes Napoleon’s wrist again, and after a moment his partner’s warm palm covers his hand. At that he manages to pry his eyes open again and finds that same worried, careful expression on Napoleon’s face.

“Ok, Peril. Ok,” he agrees. “We’ll put off the op.”

He expects that Napoleon will get up and leave him to his misery, but his partner just sits there, watching him, his hand still covering Illya’s and his thumb absently tracing small circles on Illya’s skin. All at once Illya is thrown back in his memories to the kitchen, to the determination, and something else, in Napoleon’s eyes. It sends another shiver down his spine, which Napoleon apparently interprets as a chill. He pulls away to grab the blanket, and Illya tries to suppress a surge of disappointment at the loss of contact.

“I’ll bring you some breakfast in a bit, hm?” Napoleon says as he pulls the blanket over Illya’s body. He pauses, frowning, and somehow Illya can tell he’s remembering seeing Illya dry-heaving only minutes earlier. “Maybe just some toast.”

“Cowboy,” Illya murmurs, stopping Napoleon before he leaves the room. He turns back expectantly, but once again Illya feels lost for words. He chokes down whatever emotion is clogging his throat and sighs heavily. “Don’t touch the pan handle without a mitt, and don’t turn on the oven.”

*****

Reading is, unfortunately, not really an option in his current condition, and honestly playing chess isn’t much better. He sleeps a lot of the day, and Gaby plays a some simple card games with him, but he doesn’t see much of Napoleon except for when he comes in to deliver food. Illya tries not to feel disappointed. It doesn’t really work.

He discovers why his partner has been so scarce when he finally gets up in the late afternoon. The injuries he sustains from loop to loop at least have the benefit of healing a lot more quickly than usual, so he feels almost back to normal besides a lingering dull headache. Napoleon is, perhaps predictably, in the kitchen, and he tuts disapprovingly when he sees Illya enter.

“You shouldn’t be up,” he scolds, barely pausing in whatever he’s doing.

Illya ignores him and walks over to investigate. Napoleon’s shirtsleeves are rolled to his elbows and he appears to be kneading some kind of smooth, pale yellow dough.

“You’re not using the oven,” Illya says quickly, his gaze darting toward the appliance, but it appears to still be off.

“No, I’m not,” Napoleon huffs as he kneads, “even though you won’t tell me why. This isn’t for baking. I’m making pasta.” Illya blinks at him, thinking he must be misunderstanding something. Surely Napoleon isn’t making noodles from scratch in their tiny safehouse kitchen. When would he have even gotten the ingredients to do such a thing? The whole operation seems extravagant, even for Napoleon. His partner is too busy vigorously kneading the dough to notice his confused look, though.

“Why?”

Napoleon laughs. “I can’t very well make my nona’s soup with dried pasta,” he says, no small amount of disdain lacing his words. “I think she might rise from the grave and beat me over the head with a wheel of parmesan.”

“All right,” Illya allows, like he understands why it would matter, “but why are you making the soup now? Here? The circumstances cannot be ideal.” “Ah, well, it’s her famous get-well soup,” Napoleon explains. He pauses for a moment, still staring down at the pasta dough. “When I was growing up, any time I got sick she would come over and spend all day making this soup. Said it was better than any medicine a doctor could give.”

Momentarily, the dough seems forgotten. Napoleon looks like he’s lost in a pleasant memory, a small, melancholy smile curling the corners of his mouth. The image of a short, round Italian woman taking care of a small boy with dark hair and deep blue eyes forms in Illya’s mind, and he finds himself inexplicably warmed by it.

“And?” Illya prompts. “Is it?”

Napoleon snaps out of his reverie and sets about kneading the dough vigorously again. Illya wonders how he knows when it’s ready, but he doesn’t want to know badly enough to get a lecture on pasta making from Napoleon right now.

“Of course, Peril,” Napoleon says. “Like she always said, it’s got her secret ingredient in it.”

“Which is?”

To his surprise, Napoleon flushes an impressive shade of red at this question. “Wouldn’t be a secret if I went around telling everybody, would it?” he mumbles, barely audible.

Illya lets silence fall between them for a moment, only broken by the soft sounds of kneading. It’s really rather more mesmerizing than it should be, watching the muscles in his forearms move under his skin as he works the dough with strong, capable hands. Napoleon's hair is starting to curl from being in the steamy kitchen all day, a few locks escaping his pomade to fall across his forehead, and the whole picture is rather… arresting.

“You still haven’t answered the question,” he says eventually—and why on Earth does his throat feel so tight?—“Why are you making it now?”

“I would have thought that was obvious, Peril,” Napoleon huffs. “You’re sick, you get the soup. Which is also why you really should be in bed.”

He finally looks up at Illya, and his eyes are full of that same something that they had been after the explosion. And then, suddenly, everything seems to fall into place. Napoleon has been in here all day making this soup, the soup that his grandmother made him when he was sick, the soup that you clearly only make for people you love, because why else would anyone spend that much time making soup…

And he’s making it for Illya.

Abruptly Illya really does feel like he needs to go back to bed. Or at least sit down.

“Have you… have you made it many times?” Illya asks quietly, sounding nearly as unsteady as he feels.

Napoleon stares at him for a moment before he drops his gaze to the counter again. “No. No, I haven’t,” he answers, just as quiet. Then he clears his throat, clenching his jaw, and gives his head a tiny shake. “But I know how, if that’s what you’re worried about. It’ll be good.” “I know it will, Cowboy,” Illya says. “Thank you, for making it for me.” “Well, you know, it’s something to do while we’re stuck here all day,” Napoleon says dismissively, but it’s too late. Illya happens to know what Napoleon would do all day when stuck in a safehouse, and it’s not making extremely labor-intensive soup. “Now will you go back to bed? You look like you’re about to fall over.”

Illya takes the excuse, even though his fading concussion is certainly not the thing that’s currently making him so lightheaded. Gaby offers to play another card game with him but he begs off, claiming he’s going to nap, when really all he does after he climbs back into the bed is stare at the wall and think.

It would be one thing if the only thing that had clicked into place was Illya’s understanding of Napoleon’s feelings for him. No, that realization had the benefit—or misfortune? who could tell—of seemingly popping the cork on Illya’s own repressed feelings. Of everything he felt, but didn’t dare put a name to, that terrible day in the kitchen, and nearly every other repetition of this miserable loop. Told himself it was loyalty, told himself it was friendship, because good agents simply do not fall in love with their partners.

Turns out he is just as terrible a spy as he’s always accused Napoleon of being.

He’s not even close to done processing all of it by the time Gaby peeks her head into the room and says that dinner is ready, and does he feel up to coming to the table to eat?

He nods and follows her to the kitchen, feeling some kind of perverse comfort in the knowledge that he has, seemingly, all the time in the world to make sense of what’s going on in his heart.

The soup is, without a doubt, the most delicious soup he’s ever tasted. Gaby lets out a groan of delight more suited to the bedroom than the dinner table when she takes a bite and honestly, it’s all Illya can do not to echo her. He’s sure his face does something incriminating nevertheless, because the blistering warmth that fills his chest—warmth that has decidedly nothing to do with the temperature of the soup—is far more than he can reasonably control.

Napoleon, of course, looks exceedingly pleased with himself, but whatever emotions that had slipped loose earlier have been carefully locked away again. It doesn’t matter. Between Napoleon’s aborted confession after the explosion and the soup, Illya knows. To be honest, it’s a little embarassing that it took him 22 loops to figure it out, now that he knows where to look for the signs.

A year and 22 loops. God, he’s an idiot sometimes.

Next Chapter

#whumptober2020 #no.26 #concussion #the man from u.n.c.l.e. #fic #suicide #the man from uncle #tmfu #napollya #napoleon x illya #napoleon solo #illya kuryakin #my fic

[akampana]

So, can i get a bit of Iskandar/Heracles for the ask thing? I'm positively surprised about it and i enjoy the idea of the two together (especially since both are servants who had a great bond with their masters and pushed them to grow in their respective wars aka TWO DADS).

Ooooooh good morning anon and thank you very much for this ask! I'm glad I get to talk more about this ship but as this is tied to The Play of Fate, I'll go ahead and put my answers under the cut cause it's a bit spoilery for anyone who isn't updated :) It's also a bit of a continuation from this ask.

What made you ship it?

As I mentioned before, I had to consider the effects of a decade time-skip as well as develop relationships between the two factions of Servants from both 4th and 5th HGWs, because the story would fall flat if it was just Arturia and Gilgamesh connecting the two. Luckily, Iskandar's quite the friendly one.

Heracles was my first choice for a connection with Iskandar, because the latter was definitely the type to be interested in Heroic Spirits, much more those he had probably already heard about in life.

Initially, they were just supposed to be two gym bros, then I remembered who I was talking about (hahahaha). So, I shelved that idea (and it eventually became Iskandar and Cú's friendship) and went on to do something just a little more complicated.

And because it is technically a side ship, it had to be impactful enough to leave an impression, and strong enough to at least survive implicitly, and so

Anon, you hit it right on the head with the two dads dynamic. I figured that both Iskandar and Heracles were similar in that sense, added to their surely similar experiences being brought up as warriors would be more than enough for these two to get along. As friends and as something more.

Besides, both Heracles and Iskandar had their own "best friends but more than that" experiences. Heracles with a multitude of male lovers, most notably Iolaus, while Alexander had Hephaestion. So a bond with each other was not out of the question.

But mainly, I started shipping this exactly because of the two dads dynamic you mentioned. Just two really good Servants who did the best they could with their masters.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

It made me so conflicted about who to choose. Like there were literal sleepless nights.

Full disclosure, it almost went the other way, especially in my early drafts, and the only reason the story continued down the path it is on now was because I thought I could do more with the alternate pair narrative-wise.

The DAD-ness of it all

Like can you just imagine these two working out together (using each other as weights maybe?) and having barbecue at the beach afterward?

They'd have all these silly mini-Olympic games with their unwilling kids and go watch the puny humans attempt sports while trying to remain incognito by wearing baseball caps. It doesn't work, obviously, since both are far too big to even FIT on the bleachers.

They are also on the older side of the Servants, and are also educated as all young men of their country were, which means they have a range of things to talk about. Philosophical, or just plain fun.

Heracles is quieter than Iskandar (and more gentlemanly), so they complement each other pretty well. One active, one passive. I imagine Heracles just likes to listen to Iskandar talk at times.

Heracles...has a rather troubling past, due to him having been shit on by the goddess he is named after for his bloody whole life. And I think the reason he wanted to protect Illya so badly is because during his life he couldn't even protect his family from himself.

With someone like Iskandar, who is pretty damn strong on his own both emotionally and physically, I think Heracles would feel pretty secure. So, when they rope in their kids, he doesn't have to worry all too much.

Big, buff cuddles :3. You better bet they can embrace each other at full strength without crushing each other.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Honestly, kind of surprised Iskandar doesn't have a line for Heracles, considering he's kind of a huge nerd for heroes and the latter is arguably one of the strongest and most famous.

Again, thank you very much for the ask! Always makes me happy to have a reader in my inbox. :)

#akampana asks #heracles #iskandar #berserker #rider #I just think theyre neat i really do #like #i love me some gay dads

[atopearth]

Fate/stay night Réalta Nua Part 4 - Unlimited Blade Works Route (2/2)

Day 11-16 Omggg I love their date! Saber is there as well but I think it’s so adorable how Saber is on Rin’s side most of the time, and it’s so cute how Saber loves to eat different things haha. I think the funniest was when Saber hated losing to them in the batting cage so they had to play a lot of games hahaha. But I guess, through the dialogue, I can kinda understand more of why Shirou was always insistent on Saber not fighting in the Fate route. Saber is actually smaller than Rin and she’s apparently weaker than them physically as well if she’s not using her magic power! She must be pretty small then! And omggg lmaooo when Shirou figured out the mystery of the stolen loaf of bread🤣🤣 Shirou thought Rin took it as a late night snack and ate up the whole loaf when she actually used it to make them lunch hahahaha. Honestly, it was really sweet of Rin to plan such a day so that Shirou could relax and have fun, especially since he’s never really found anything fun for a long time and he doesn’t even think he deserves to have fun at all. Honestly though, I still find Caster’s Noble Phantasm Rule Breaker such a…I don’t know how to say it, I mean, I understand that the Command Spells was magic done by one of the three families and since Caster is like from the time of the Gods or whatever, I guess it’s possible for her to cancel it and stuff, but I feel like when powers like this exist, it kinda makes the rules of the war and everything feel so…cheap? Like, I guess I liked the war because each Servant presents different powerful Noble Phantasms and abilities but they’re all respectively things that pertain to their strengths and utilised within the boundaries of the war, but Caster’s ability just negates a lot of that and makes things feel like such a free for all with no rules and that just feels boring tbh. Otherwise, Saber being able to stop herself from listening to Caster’s orders and attack Shirou for a bit so he can escape was saddening, especially with those tears in her eyes. But yeah, the way everything went was really understandable, Shirou would never give up on Taiga’s life (since Caster took her hostage) even if he has to sacrifice his own, so really, it wasn’t a situation they could really win from at all..sad that their cute date turned into this disaster though.

Rin always tries to sound mean to Shirou, but really all you can hear from her is concern for him all the time. She hates seeing him get hurt and always wants him out of the war because he’s too kind. I can see why Shirou is adamant about going to save Saber since her being controlled is his responsibility, but at the same time, Rin is right, there is nothing he can offer to the battle right now, especially with his injuries. Lmaooo at Tiger Dojo 22 where Caster calls Taiga for advice on how to be a better character, hahahah even she knows she’s plain lmaoo. Honestly though, I love how Shirou is always able to tell that Rin is truly kindhearted and that underneath her role as a magus is a normal girl that’s very sensitive and sweet. I love how he got her to release her emotions and cry after she felt betrayed by Archer (who left her for Caster). I love the CG with them talking to each other back to back! And I love how Shirou is always there for Rin to help her get herself together. He’s right though, Rin is someone who resolutely stands on her own path, even if she regrets something, she will retaliate and destroy it to make her path what it should be to her. She gets sad but she never gives up, and I can see why Shirou would admire her so much tbh. It’s so cute how Shirou so honestly told Rin he likes her a lot, blushing Rin is so adorable!

I feel like Caster’s past is supposed to make me feel “something” for her but honestly, she still feels as bland as she is. Maybe it’s because ever since she was born, she’s been (literally) controlled by others, forced to abandon her country and kill her brother etc, used as a scapegoat to be the epitome of crime and thus viewed as a witch, but everything about that story is kinda just told to you as a reader, so really, it’s hard to feel anything for her. Like, I feel sorry for her that she had to experience all that, and I get how grateful she is towards Kuzuki for saving her when she nearly disappeared (after killing her crappy Master), but as she says, she really has no motivation or goal aside from helping Kuzuki and he himself doesn’t really want anything either, so they’re kinda like a duo that has no real purpose than to exist and fight if confronted and I guess fight to find a place for themselves. 

Tbh, Shirou always admires Rin for being able to go full on ahead without regrets, but I think someone like him who is able to be so decisive on walking on the path he decides and is ready to accept it even if it’s “wrong” is something very admirable as well. I LOLed when Shirou and Rin went to Illya’s castle (to ask to co-operate against Caster) and Illya’s “alarm” magic that alerts her to them entering the forest zapped Rin so badly compared to Shirou, it was hilarious hahahaha. Honestly, seeing Berserker so desperately protect Illya from Gilgamesh and Illya being so scared really shook me. But I think seeing their past was worse, they were both used and controlled by the Einzberns to get the holy grail, and Illya was forced to go out in a freezing forest with just Berserker so that they could train her into controlling him properly. And I guess it was then that they both realised in their hearts that the only ones they could trust in were each other. I always wondered why Illya didn’t seem to do anything aside from rely on Berserker to fight, but after the flashback, it seems that all those Command Spells on her body that were put by the Einzbern family are there to control Berserker and that puts a great toll on her body and probably even shortens her lifespan. It used to practically destroy her and make her scream in pain, but now it’s a bit better, and I guess that’s why Illya just allows Berserker to do everything for her, it’s mainly because it’s cumbersome enough for her to just control him. But yeah, Gilgamesh slashing her eyes and stuff made me feel so uncomfortable and sad. In the end, Illya’s just a kid… But yeah, I totally understand why Shirou couldn’t help but appear to try and help Illya knowing it was futile. But! I still blame him because him revealing himself also endangers Rin and he should have thought more about her. Buuuut, I’ll admit that it wouldn’t be like Shirou if he was able to restrain himself, and I think I would have been disappointed in him haha. He’s lucky Rin was there to help save him tbh, and I guess we should be glad that Shinji is Gilgamesh’s Master lolll, I mean, if it was anyone more useful, they would have been totally screwed~

Hahahaha, it was so cute how Shirou and Rin kept arguing about who should be running away when Lancer appeared. It was hilarious how Lancer waited for them to finish arguing hahaha. HAHAAHA it was such a tense atmosphere when Shirou agreed to co-operate with Lancer, but then when he said under one condition, and whilst everyone was wondering if he wanted to know Lancer’s Master or something, all Shirou wanted was for Lancer to stay away from Rin hahahaha, he’s so cute🤣🤣🤣 I’m amazed that Archer could create a shield (Aias) that blocked Lancer’s Noble Phantasm, it wasn’t easy for him to block it, but nevertheless, he did end up blocking it. I guess that’s the benefit of being able to project weapons or shields etc that are strong against each Servant’s respective Noble Phantasms. Rin is so cool though! She got Caster to let her guard down and then used martial arts to defeat her! Well nearly, because Kuzuki comes to save Caster since he’s stronger than Shirou, I mean, it’s pretty amazing that Shirou could fend him off for so long. Guess they should be glad that Archer wasn’t a traitor and dealt the last hit attempting to kill Kuzuki, but Caster sacrificed herself to protect him. It’s kinda funny though, Caster’s life as Medea was ruined because of a “man” (she was controlled by a God but the God made her love that man so I guess same thing?) and even as a Servant, even though this time was her first time truly falling in love, nevertheless, she still ended up giving her life up for love, and it’s always for a man that will never love her back. It’s nice to see that even though Kuzuki was pretty disinterested in everything, he was ready to fight until the end even after Caster died, tbh although Shirou wanted to stop it and save Kuzuki, I think Kuzuki would have preferred being killed by Archer as an end rather than surviving. Rin really does save Shirou all the time though haha, it was thanks to her smart thinking of taking Saber as her Servant that they could fend off Archer from killing Shirou.

Honestly though, Lancer is such a great guy. He really knows how to appreciate Rin hahaha, I couldn’t believe her “thanks” to him stopped him from wanting to really kill Archer when they had their duel, and even now when she’s kidnapped by Archer (to ensure Shirou will come to save her and thus fight him), he’s so ready to go help them out. I guess Shirou was right to tell Lancer to stay away from Rin hahahaha. Honestly, it’s so heartbreaking to hear Archer talk about how he had to keep killing in order to save many, and that’s why he feels that he must kill Shirou, because if he doesn’t kill him, he’s going to become him, the hero Emiya. I think it’s so heartbreaking to hear that because you can feel how much Archer wants to kill himself, and in order to do that, he must kill Shirou. He thinks that his existence gave happiness to no one and only caused death and destruction since he killed people to save people…and it’s probably disheartening for Saber to hear this too, since she and Shirou are similar. I guess that’s why she wanted to stay here instead of going to save Rin (from Shinji) with Lancer.

Omg, I didn’t realise that Archer was executed because he was accused by the person he saved, even though he was the one who gave his all to stop the conflict, he was accused of starting the conflict and died for that “crime”. I think something that really hit me was when Archer described his role as a Guardian, he calls it being a “cleaner” because “they do not save people. All they do is eliminate harmful people, without distinction of good or evil. They do not save people in despair. Instead, they eliminate people in despair in order to save others who are enjoying life.” It’s so true. It’s something that’s ever present in life, we are always eliminating the people who are unable to live happily, we are always killing them because of the destruction they cause, and it’s understandable, but at the same time, it’s exactly against what Shirou desires. He knows that he can’t save everyone, but he wants to, and at the least, he wouldn’t want to kill others he wants to save in order to save others. I feel like the more Archer killed, the more he felt like he was killing the people he was supposed to save and that really destroyed him. And because he became a Guardian, he didn’t even have the choice to not do these things. The world itself had already decided that these people were harmful to it, so Emiya had to kill them, all the times he was summoned, he had no free will to decide for himself what should be done and what shouldn’t be done to save the world, the world already decided it and willed him to just kill them to “save” the world. The world deemed them irredeemable and unable to be saved, and Emiya had to accept that, but it must have been such torture to have to experience that over and over again. Even if killing Shirou doesn’t cause Archer to disappear, I’m sure the satisfaction of killing the past him that he thinks is silly and caused all this would at least relieve Archer somewhat.

Kotomine definitely let his guard down against Lancer. Although he used his Command Spell to order Lancer to kill himself, he hadn’t even disappeared yet and he already let his guard down! In other news, Shinji is a shit as usual~ and seriously, after seeing Kotomine get stabbed by Lancer, I don’t know why the dumbass Shinji doesn’t think about how Lancer could still be a threat, and what makes him think Gilgamesh will help him with such a lowlife job lol. It was really cool when Lancer used bits of his last strength to protect Rin until the end though, he’s such a hero. I also liked how resolute he was in death and was ready to burn the whole room to ashes to make sure Kotomine wouldn’t survive. I guess Kiritsugu’s last words of relief over Shirou saying he’ll be a superhero in his place was like a curse to Shirou. He said it because he admired Kiritsugu and wanted to be just like him, but he probably didn’t realise how much it really meant to him until he said it, and because of that, Shirou had no choice but to become a protector of justice, he couldn’t disappoint the guy who was so happy to have found him alive in that fire, he couldn’t disregard a dying man’s wish, and really, he just wanted to be just as strong as his father. In this sense though, there’s a similarity between Shirou and Rin. The both of them have been “passed on” an ideal or dream that they must fulfill. For Shirou, he needs to save people as a superhero. For Rin, she needs to win the Holy Grail War as the successor of the Tohsaka family and for her father who died because of it. But really, you wouldn’t say that Rin’s will is hypocrisy, because she has practically made that dream her own, and I think that can be said for Shirou as well. Even if it all started from someone else, it doesn’t mean it’s a “borrowed” ideal, because it had already transformed into their own ideal with the strength of their convictions and beliefs. And honestly, even if it is a borrowed ideal, it’s fine, because that is the path they chose, whether it was for someone else or not, this is what they chose and what they will commit to do. In that sense, who can really judge them? I honestly felt really touched when Shirou relentlessly attacked saying his dream is not a mistake, because he believes in it and will continue to believe in it no matter what. Really, I can’t help but feel so affected by Shirou’s will and determination all the time, he’s so mentally strong, it’s crazy. It was kinda relieving but at the same time hurtful when Archer admitted his lost and was stabbed by Shirou. In the end, this was never really a physical fight, because Archer could have killed him if he really wanted to imo, in the end, it felt like everything was set up by Archer to see the strength of his ideals again within Shirou. Archer had experienced tragedy after tragedy that deteriorated his heart for too long, so I feel like in a sense even though he hated his younger self, he also wanted to rekindle and remember the emotions he once had towards his ideal of becoming a superhero. I feel like he wanted to see whether he would be able kill himself first or remember why he was so adamant on being a superhero and how strong his mental fortitude towards it was first, so it was great that young him aka Shirou succeeded in showing him once again why his choice wasn’t wrong and wasn’t a mistake.

Anyway, Gilgamesh always ruins the mood, doesn’t he?! So the reason why Servants have to fight until the last one is because their heroic spirit souls are used as pure magical energy afterwards to kinda “create” the holy grail contents and give the remaining magus/Master power to use it for what they want? Lmao at Gilgamesh leaving the castle and wanting to change locations because the castle was burning down and he didn’t want ashes to go on him. You know, now that I think about it, if all the people Archer witnessed destroying the world was like Shinji, yeah I think I would feel the same hatred towards humanity and their ridiculous conflicts too. Ooh I guess although I’ve seen it, it never really clicked to me that Gilgamesh stopped Illya from becoming the holy grail by taking out her heart and putting it inside Shinji so he would become it? HAHAHA omg, Rin and Shirou need to have sex so he can share her magical circuits and use her magical power to create the Reality Marble (where Archer can project and use all those swords etc) and fight against Gilgamesh?! No wonder why Rin became so shy mid way through the strategy meeting hahahaha. Well, that was a pretty long and detailed H-scene! Rin looked really cute though loll. 

Hmmm how interesting, so Servants who are magi can summon other Servants, but they must have a host to keep the Servant in this world, and for Assassin, that is the mountain, therefore, even though Caster is dead, as long as the mountain exists, Assassin will be there to protect it. However, he still needs magical energy, and so even though he’s still “alive”, he will disappear soon, since Caster only gave him a limited amount of magical energy. Although I guess the main reason he still stands is because he really wanted his life to end in battle with Saber. Assassin’s true identity is rather saddening. He’s just a no name guy that was most fit to be seen as the guy “Sasaki Kojirou” because he can perform techniques Kojirou could, and so he is assumed to be him according to what this Kojirou character should be. In the end, he’s “nothing”, and I guess such an existence, being able to fight with Saber before he disappears would be a nice thing to do instead of meaninglessly disappearing. I mean, it’s understandable that Saber is in a rush to distract Gilgamesh so that Rin and Shirou can destroy the grail, and then they can all destroy Gilgamesh together, but honestly, that’s not Assassin’s problem and he has no reason to stand aside when Saber did once promise him that she’ll fight him properly again. I guess that means it’s time for Shirou to shine haha. I think Shirou’s “impossible” dream really reminds of Kaoru’s dream in Rurouni Kenshin. Honestly, their dreams are probably naive, probably impossible and probably ridiculous to others, but just like Kenshin, I think you can’t help but want to believe in it hoping that it can be possible, and continuing to fight to make it possible. And I really feel Shirou’s resolve in that. It took a while but I’m glad he finally realised that what he could do wasn’t infinitely create swords to fight against Gilgamesh, but instead create the Reality Marble that contains an infinite amount of swords aka unlimited blade works. But really, I’m happy that regardless whether it be the Fate route or this one, Shirou is the one who helps Saber realise that she needs to move forward, well, Archer and his burdens is the one who made her realise it in this route, but they’re both Shirou after all! I’m just glad that she’s not living in regret anymore and can go back peacefully after destroying the Holy Grail.

Although I’ve been rather sceptical with how a lot of fights went in this route, I think Gilgamesh against Shirou is probably the most satisfying and understandable to me (alongside Shirou against Archer), mainly because it’s true that Gilgamesh had always won his battles through the amount of Noble Phantasms in his treasury and how relentlessly he uses them as “arrows” rather than as swords. He lacks the skills and techniques to use them because he is merely an arrogant owner of them. And that’s why I think it’s understandable how Shirou can face off against him. Not only is Shirou physically capable, his Reality Marble gives him swords right by him, he can pick them up much easier than when he had to project them over and over, so in the end, it becomes more of a battle mounting on their determination and strength, which Gilgamesh lacks because he lives thinking that he doesn’t need to work hard for anything since everything is already his. And seeing him lose because of that is much more satisfying than in the Fate route because what Gilgamesh really lost against here isn’t something like Saber’s OP armour, he lost against his own lack of skill and what he prides himself in, his own arrogance. He let his guard down against a “faker” that can only do imitations of his swords, and was unable to recover his composure facing off against someone much “lower” than him being able to overpower him, even if it’s only for a bit of time. Not sure how I feel about the black void from the destruction of the Holy Grail coming to consume Gilgamesh though… Lmao at Tiger Dojo 24, the hanging mini Shirou getting smacked by Taiga and being blown away like a star was so funny hahahaha. 

I find it quite a miracle that Archer was able to survive this long into the end game and was able to watch over their battles and save both Rin and Shirou in the last minute! Like, he was already weak at the castle, fought with Shirou, took the hit from multiple Noble Phantasms by Gilgamesh and he was still able to project so many weapons to get Rin away from the Holy Grail monster and then project another one to prevent Gilgamesh from dragging Shirou into the void?? I guess I should be impressed rather than in disbelief haha. Honestly though, I do believe that Rin is Shirou’s “true love” because you can really see how much Archer still loves and cherishes her after all that he experienced. His silly banter with her was so similar to how she and Shirou interacted, and I think the fact that he still held on to her jewel (that ended up allowing her to summon him) is enough reason to really see how much he thought about her and how much he wanted to be with her. But at the same time he couldn’t be with her because it was his love and admiration for her that probably allowed him to move forward and follow his dream/ideal and end up becoming Emiya the heroic spirit. I honestly wanted to cry when he asked Rin to support himself and take care of himself aka Shirou. And I honestly believe in Archer’s belief that if Rin is beside Shirou, he won’t become the regretful hero Emiya. It’s saddening that even if Shirou leads a different life, Archer will probably always still be a heroic spirit doing what he had to do before. The only relief to be had is that after encountering Rin and Shirou here, he’s kinda rejuvenated himself by being reminded of past him’s beliefs, wishes and his resolve for becoming who he has become today. So, he’ll be fine, even if it’s painful. Archer’s last smile looked so much like Shirou. And omggg, something I never realised! In the beginning, Archer chose to call her Rin and continued calling her that because calling her Tohsaka is something Shirou does! By coming to terms with his own self as Shirou, he can finally feel like he can call her Tohsaka like he used to… It’s so cute and bittersweet😭😭

I loved how adorable Shirou and Rin were (in the true ending) when she kept asking if he would come with her to London as her apprentice at the Magic Association training academy or whatever and Shirou was too shy to openly say yes when it was obvious what his answer would be haha. The good ending was something I would have also liked to see in the Fate route but I guess seeing it here is nice too! It’s a bit like a harem end lmao, but I think Saber deciding to stay in this world to see if she can find her own answer by watching over Shirou (since Archer said she is wrong but she doesn’t really understand in this ending), so now Shirou, Rin and Saber can always hang together! It’s so cute honestly~ It’s kinda like how everything was in the beginning of this route, so playful, fun and happy with three of them haha.

Overall, I really liked UBW. Imo, I still think that the fights with Caster etc were the weak parts of this route and it can kinda detract your attention because I didn’t think it was really interesting lol. But everything is worth it when it comes to Shirou’s fight with Archer and then Gilgamesh. It really felt like everything that was built up since the beginning was made worth it. It was nice to see how much Archer and Shirou were natural enemies against each other without Shirou even realising who he was, yet they both couldn’t help but be influenced by the other. I thought Archer’s story really made UBW such a highlight emotionally. His story was well developed and nicely explored against Shirou’s ideals and you could really see how much they couldn’t help but clash. I honestly really loved how no matter what Archer did that seemed contradictory to what “Shirou” would do, in the end, he was Shirou through and through with how soft of a guy he really was. I really loved the concept of Shirou being the one to make possible future him/Archer realise why his original ideals were so important to him and why despite everything, he really doesn’t regret how everything came to be anymore. I really think that it was such an important growth to both Archer and Shirou and I loved it. It allowed them both to further their resolves and be proud of the path they’re walking on. Another great thing about this route was Rin, she’s such a great heroine that totally matches well with Shirou because not only does she drive him to become a stronger person like her, Shirou also makes her want to improve and be as driven as him even when things don’t go her way. I just think that not only do they work to bring their best out of each other as people, they’re also very capable in being silly with the other. They’re just as cute as they are strong and I love their relationship. As for the other Servants, I think only Lancer and Assassin really hit me emotionally. Lancer being such a ladies man and fighting for his own beliefs is something I always enjoy seeing, and Assassin finding meaning by being able to fight with other true swordsmen was something I couldn’t help but feel happy for. It really felt like a 8.5-9/10 route!👌

And nowww, on to the last route! Since the last Heaven’s Feel movie isn’t out yet, I don’t really know what happens at the end of it, so I guess aside from the Fate route, this will be the other route I don’t have much idea about what will happen and that kinda makes me excited haha!

#fate stay night

[el3anorrigbyworld]

For @slightly-organized-chaos who requested this a month back. I just wrote this ficlet but I’ve had the idea the moment I received this prompt and listened to the lyrics of the song. It’s supposed to end all angsty but then I couldn’t give the boys an unresolved ending. Anyway, I’m not sure if this fits the bill but I hope you’ll like it? PS: I wrote this on my phone, unbetaed, so I apologise for all the mistakes in this story. :)

Dancing On My Own :

Napoleon stands in front of the long mirror in his room. With one arm outstretched, the other bent in front of his waist, he starts to move, steps reminiscent of dancing with a partner. One, two, three, he utters, moving to the silent beat he has memorised by heart. He repeats this over and over, and for a moment Napoleon feels like he is floating around the floor. Floating with Illya in his head. If only he could tell Illya this, how the giant Russian is ingrained in his soul, his being. His very bones.

If only Illya knows.

For the past week Napoleon has been teaching Illya how to waltz. Despite it being fit for formal occasions, the waltz is also one of the easiest dance steps to learn and to execute, so when Napoleon had suggested it, Illya had agreed. Every evening he would stop by at Napoleon’s place and they would go through the steps with Napoleon leading the way. Though he resents it, Napoleon has learned to push aside his own feelings for the man just because he wants to see Illya happy.

When Illya had come to Napoleon for help, he had wanted to shun Illya at first. What he feared had become real. Illya’s going to make his move on Gaby. Finally, Napoleon had thought to himself. He had never pushed Illya to reveal more than necessary, so he simply complied to the man’s wishes then, ignoring the flurry of aches and the gut wrenching pain he had felt at the time. He could not say no to Illya. Illya’s reddened cheeks and his curiously shy smile; the way he had approached Napoleon, it had somehow softened the blow Napoleon had felt inside. And by agreeing to teach him how to dance, Napoleon figured it would be a way for him to get closer to Illya even though he knew in the end he wouldn’t achieve what he really wanted.

As Napoleon continues to move with his eyes closed, he imagines how Illya would take Gaby’s hands in his. He imagines how Illya’s arm would circle her waist. They would start off cautious, all calculating steps between them, but soon their dance will start to flow naturally and before long Illya would be spinning Gaby around, all elegant moves, with whatever doubt between them gone. Admittedly, they are pretty perfect for each other. Napoleon has entertained the idea of their partners together for some time. And now, it is really happening.

If they are happy than Napoleon will be happy.

He will have to. For their sake.

“Do you always dance alone, Cowboy?”

Startled upon hearing Illya’s voice, Napoleon stops at once and turns. He sees Illya leaning against the door, a little smile adorning his lips. How long he has been standing there, Napoleon has no idea. He takes in a breath and tries to shake off the slight tremor he is feeling. Illya doesn’t know what Napoleon has been thinking. He is not a mind reader. There is no way he could tell Napoleon’s mind has been bombarded by images of his partners together.

“I think both you and I know that I work better alone.”

“If working is equivalent to dancing then maybe you are not so bad after all.”

Napoleon tries to come up with a witty comeback. This is no time for him to be demure. He desperately wants to say something but his words are lodged in his throat. Then, as seconds tick by with silence in between them, Napoleon remembers something.

“Wait, why are you here? Aren’t you supposed to be on a date with Gaby?”

Yes, Illya’s big night with Gaby is tonight. He is supposed to be dining in a posh restaurant somewhere before bringing her back to his apartment. And after that their dance is supposed to start. Napoleon sees Illya kissing Gaby by the end of it while he watches them from a darkened corner like a broken hearted fool.

So far away, but still so near. The lights come up, the music dies, but you don’t see me standing here. Watching you. Wishing it’s me with you and not her.

Maybe Napoleon is out of line to want someone he can never have.

“Cowboy.”

Illya’s voice pulls him out of his reverie again. Napoleon shakes his head.

“Sorry, why are you here again?”

“I never said I was going out with Gaby.”

“But you said it was for Gaby. You were going to take her out. And then you were going to dance with her in your apartment. You told me this.”

The vision of Illya and Gaby together instantly diminishes in Napoleon’s head. Has he made a mistake? Has he read the entire thing wrong? No, it’s impossible.

“I don’t get it,” Napoleon asks again, confused.

Illya closes the door then moves deeper into the room. With every step that he takes, Napoleon’s heart starts to race faster, falling into a rhythm akin a man who’s run a marathon.

“Peril?”

Illya stops just as he’s about to get real close.

“It was Gaby’s idea.”

Napoleon is dumbfounded. “What?”

“I never told you this but it is you. Always been you. You only assume it is for Gaby. You put that idea in your own head. So Gaby asked me to play along with it.”

Napoleon gasps for breath. He slowly straightens, stares at Illya’s eyes unblinking, with the taller man staring right back at him.

“You conspired with her?”

Illya shrugs. “Stupid I know. But I did not know any other way to make us happen.”

Napoleon’s world stops upon hearing Illya’s words. It’s too good to be true. How could this be? What has he done to deserve something as good as this? When Illya touches his hand, and entwines their fingers together, Napoleon almost flinched at his touch. But Illya grips his hand tight, doesn’t let him get away. He takes another step forward, like the dance Napoleon has taught him, but with a bit of hesitance. A little bit of fear.

“I am not really sure if you want this too, but I will regret it if I did not try. If I did not ask.”

“But you never asked me “ Napoleon croaks.

“I am asking you now.”

Napoleon’s fingers curl around Illya’s. Only then he realises how shaky they are. A desperate whine escapes Napoleon's lips. He has wanted Illya ever since he’s met the man, maybe it is something Napoleon would never admit readily, but it is the truth. And now Illya has admitted to something Napoleon never imagined could be true.

“So, you will dance with me?” Illya asks, even as they start to tremble in each other’s arms. Napoleon doesn’t say anything, suddenly not trusting himself to utter a word, fearing he’s going to spoil everything. Braving himself for the umpteenth time that night, Illya places a finger underneath Napoleon’s chin and tilts his head, waiting for an answer and Napoleon finally nods.

“Okay.”

Letting out a sigh of relief, Illya leans in and kisses Napoleon, a gentle brush of their lips together but the sensation enough to shock Napoleon to the core. Soon, he is melting in Illya’s hold, his previously stiff body going slack. Their kiss grows in intensity and when they finally part for breath minutes later, Illya leans their foreheads together, arms still around Napoleon’s waist keeping his partner close against him.

“I have to warn you, Cowboy, I am terrible at dancing, not as good as you. And I think you know this,” he adds teasingly, and then smiles when Napoleon argues ‘it doesn’t matter’ because he doesn’t have to dance on his own any longer.

#tmfu #napollya #fic prompt #ficlet #angst with a fluff ending

[rose-of-pollux]

A Family Affair (MFU fic), part 3/4

Title: A Family Affair Rating: PG Chapter summary: Napoleon’s parents reveal their past connections with the mission’s target as Napoleon and Illya attempt to figure out the next phase of their plan.

If you prefer reading on FFN, you can read it here: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12950926/3/ If you prefer reading on AO3, you can read it here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14780255/chapters/34687973

                                            Act III: Family History

After a bit more trickery and subterfuge involving slipped keys, Illya and the three Solos had successfully snuck to the room that he and Napoleon had booked for themselves—under Illya’s favorite alias, Dr. Mallard.  The four of them breathed a sigh of relief upon successfully making it here unobserved.

“Well, we can relax—for a little while,” Napoleon said.  “Once Rex realizes that he’s lost you, he’ll start turning this place upside-down to try to find you.”  He paused. “Was he always this obnoxious, Ma?”

“Yes,” she sighed. “Ever since he found out I was a woman.”

Napoleon stared at his mother with an unreadable expression as Leopold just sighed and shook his head.

“I think more explanation is required, Mother,” Illya said, taking note of the look on his partner’s face.

“Yes, I suppose so,” Cora said.  “Napoleon, Illya… I don’t want you to think I kept this from you on purpose.  It was so long ago, and I never expected to see Rex ever again.  If we’d only known that he owned this place, Leopold and I would not have come here; I had no desire to see him again.”

“It’s alright…” Napoleon said, though he still seemed stunned by everything.  “But I’m still confused as to how he had to figure out you were a woman…”

“Well, that’s easy—I was disguised as a man,” Cora said.  “I did the underground gambling circuit in disguise as ‘Corrin Stroller.’ It was difficult enough being taken seriously as someone as young as I was; they would never have let a woman in there.”

“…So when Father said that you took him for a ride when you first met…” Illya began.  “You did so as a man?”

“Did I forget to mention that part?” Leopold asked.

“Yes,” Napoleon and Illya echoed.

“I only took him for a ride to stop him from being taken for a ride by others who would not have been as nice about it as I was,” Cora said.  “I had every intention of returning the money to him, and I did…” She shrugged.  “…Eventually…”

“To her credit, she did give the money back after a while—and that was before I found out she was a woman,” Leopold said.

“I finally told him who I really was after I’d known him for several months,” Cora said.  “He kept my secret.  And, eventually, we started a relationship—by day.  By night, we hit the casinos together.  Leopold came across as an easy mark; he’d rope people into a poker game, and I’d clean them out.”

Napoleon blinked.

“Huh…” he mused. “Now there’s an idea…”

“Don’t even think about it,” Illya deadpanned.

Napoleon shrugged and continued.

“And how does Rex fit into all of this?”

“Well, he owned a few underground casinos here in Las Vegas; Leopold and I must have caught his attention from all of our winnings,” Cora said.

“He must have seen me with Cora out in a restaurant or something one day and saw me with ‘Corrin’ that following night,” Leopold sighed.  “Whatever it was, he put two and two together and realized she was a woman.”

“Getting kicked out of the casino circuit would have been a preferable fate as opposed to what happened,” Cora sighed.

“What happened?” Napoleon asked.

“Rex kept trying to get me to marry him,” Cora muttered.  “Didn’t matter where I went in Las Vegas, even if it was a different casino that he didn’t own, he kept after me, proposing like he had every right to demand it.  After turning him down for the umpteenth time, he started threatening me—threatened to let everyone know I was a woman, which would ensure that I would be kicked out of most casinos, if not all of them—this was after gambling was legalized in Las Vegas, but they still wouldn’t have been welcoming to a woman. Even so, that didn’t bother me; I figured he would have too much trouble trying to prove it, in any case.  And after a few more months of this, he changed his tactics…”  Her expression went cold.  “He threatened Leopold.  I told you that most of the casino owners were affiliated with the Mob; I assumed Rex was, too.  Now you’re telling me it’s THRUSH, who probably weren’t much better…”

Napoleon muttered something under his breath.

“They are, indeed, much worse.  I told you, Mother,” Illya added, casting a glance at Napoleon to make sure he was alright. “The Mob didn’t even want anything to do with THRUSH.  If Rex had been threatening to use them, he would have most certainly delivered on that threat.”

“I didn’t want to call his bluff,” Cora admitted.  “I couldn’t take a chance that they’d kill Leopold.  I agreed to marry Rex.”  She shuddered, and Leopold placed a hand on her shoulder, which she gently touched with her own hand.  “I don’t think you boys could ever understand what it’s like to be held at gunpoint, facing the prospect of being eternally bound to someone you don’t love…”

“…Actually, Ma, I can…” Napoleon said.  He made a face.  “…Twice…”

“…What.”

“I got him out of it,” Illya assured her.  “But, please, continue.  How did you manage to escape Rex?”

“Well, Rex insisted we get married that evening—had his flunkies go with me everywhere to get a dress and then go to a wedding chapel.  I didn’t even have a chance to find Leopold, let alone talk to him.  So, I dropped the Queen of Hearts from the deck I always carried with me.”

“Cora always told me that the Queen of Hearts represented who she truly was,” Leopold said.  “The hearts represented the love she had—love for life, love of adventure… and, of course, her love for me.  And I also knew that Cora cared about her cards—they were everything to her.  And when I saw the Queen of Hearts on the floor, from her deck… I knew she was in trouble.”

“It was the biggest gamble of my life,” Cora said.  “I quite literally waged my very life on that card.  But it paid off.”  She reached into her purse and pulled out the old Queen of Hearts card.  “I kept it with me all these years.  Leopold followed my trail downtown and saw me with the wedding dress and followed me to the chapel.  I was in the wedding dress, Rex’s goons guarding the door outside the changing room…  And then I heard Leopold’s voice outside the room, saying that he was a photographer’s assistant, and that Rex had hired a photographer to take pictures of me in my wedding dress.  And in he comes with the photographer.”

“I had to bribe him with a considerable amount of cash, but it was worth it,” Leopold said, kissing the back of Cora’s hand.

“Naturally, I explained what was going on,” Cora said.  “And Leopold offered to help me escape—not just the wedding, but Las Vegas and Rex—no strings attached.  We had a storage locker at the train station with things we would need for a quick getaway, in case we ever made any enemies with our casino escapades.  The Depression had hit the country and the money wasn’t going to go as far as it would have, so Leopold offered me the entire thing if it meant I could escape Rex and be happy.  And then I told him that there was one more thing I’d need to take with me in order to be truly happy—him.”

Napoleon and Illya both stared in interest.

“Ma, you mean you proposed to Dad?”

“My philosophy in life was that if there was something I wanted, I would attempt to pursue it,” Cora shrugged.  “This was no different.”

“Of course, I said, yes,” Leopold said.  “And, after bribing the photographer some more, we convinced Rex’s goons that Rex wanted some photos of Cora in her dress outside.  And we ran the first chance we got—only to run into the priest who was supposed to have wedded Cora and Rex.”

“…And I had the idea to have the priest marry the two of us right then and there,” Cora said.  “It was a two-minute ceremony, with the photographer as the witness.  …And then he went and published the wedding photo in the paper the next day, but we were already on the train to Chicago by then.”

“We had another, more official ceremony performed there,” Leopold said.  “We thought about staying in Chicago after we’d been there a few months.”

“Yes, the gambling circuit there was interesting, and I certainly would have loved to have played my way around it,” Cora mused.  “But two things derailed that plan; first of all, we caught wind that Rex was coming to Chicago from Vegas.  Secondly, what I thought was nausea brought about by the news of Rex’s arrival ended up being morning sickness.”  She stared pointedly at Napoleon, who went slightly red.  “At that point, we had done well for ourselves in spite of the Depression, and so, we decided it wasn’t worth the risk of Rex finding us. We slipped away to New York and decided to give up the gambling circuit and prepare for our new addition.”

Napoleon looked away.

“You gave up doing something you loved because of me?”

“It wasn’t like that at all,” Leopold insisted.  “We had our thrills of youth, and we always knew that we would have to eventually turn to something steady and practical.  I’d always intended to get into journalism; I was pleased to get the chance to do so.  And your mother has enjoyed raising corgis…”

“We could have easily gone back on the circuit after you were born—Atlantic City wasn’t that far away,” Cora reminded him.  “But after all of those crazy adventures, it was nice to relax and pursue other endeavors. I was very happy with my life, and you were a great part of that happiness, Napoleon—another heart for the Queen of Hearts.”

Napoleon managed a smile.

“I guess that makes me the King of Hearts now, huh?”

“Well…” Cora mused, taking a new, complete deck of cards from her purse.  “Maybe I never went back on the circuit, but I would say that my consort and I did not formally abdicate yet…”

Napoleon gave his mother a long look.

“…I’m still the Jack, aren’t I?”

“Uh-huh.”

Leopold chuckled at them, but then noticed that Illya was deep in thought.

“Something wrong?”

“Nothing wrong,” Illya assured him.  “I am just marveling at all of the happenstance that filled your lives over one playing card—it was by sheer chance that you found the card she dropped and knew what she was trying to convey, then being able to save Mother from marrying Rex, and then you two having Napoleon—and then him getting drafted at 18 and meeting Mark Slate after getting appendicitis in Korea, which would inspire him to join U.N.C.L.E. and lead to my eventually getting transferred to New York to work with him…. All four of us are together in this room now because of that card.”  He indicated the Queen of Hearts still in Cora’s other hand.  “Perhaps together, we can find a way out of this place and succeed in the mission Waverly assigned Napoleon and me.”

“Well, I have been thinking,” Cora said, her brown eyes deep in thought.  “If you need proof that Rex is working with THRUSH…  I’m sure I could set up a trap—pretend to agree to speak with him and get him to confess anything and everything to me with a bit of feminine wiles--”

“No!” all three men said at once.

“…Well it was just a thought…”

“It’s far too risky, Ma,” Napoleon said.  “You tricked him once before by pretending to go along with him and then slipping out from under his nose.  But maybe we can get evidence another way…”

“What are you thinking?” Illya asked.

“What Ma said about a trap has me thinking…. I’ll bet money that Rex booby-trapped their suite the moment he found out that Ma was coming here.  If I can sweep the room and find any THRUSH devices in those traps, that will be the proof we need.  Illya, can you watch over Ma and Dad while I’m up there?”

“Of course.  But take care that you don’t end up tripping any of the traps yourself,” Illya warned.

“Naturally,” Napoleon said.

Knowing that his parents were as safe with Illya as they would have been with him, Napoleon borrowed their key and headed to their suite, beginning to look around.  To his relief, there didn’t seem to be anything in the way of deadly traps—he hadn’t put anything past Rex where his father was concerned.  But, after a thorough search, he uncovered several small jets of sleeping gas.

Napoleon removed two of the jets, picketing the cartridges of sleeping gas; if it matched the kind of gas that THRUSH was known to use, then that would be the proof that THRUSH supplied Rex with these.  The remainder of the sweep uncovered a few listening devices, but nothing much else.

Still, the sleeping gas was more than enough cause for concern, but it was their first possible bit of condemning evidence.  Napoleon now moved to leave the room, but paused as he heard footsteps from the corridor, rapidly approaching the room.

“You’re sure you saw someone go into Cora’s suite?” he heard Rex ask.  “Did you see who it was?”

“No, Sir,” a guard was saying.  “We saw someone go in, but it all happened so quickly; I assume it is either Ms. Stroller or her husband….”

Rex’s tone darkened at the mention of Leopold.

And Napoleon froze, wondering what to do.  Left with no other options, he ducked into the washroom, hoping that he would be able to snag a chance to sneak out while Rex was occupied in searching the room.

#Napoleon Solo #Illya Kuryakin #the man from uncle #mfu fic #A Family Affair #napollya

[hawkeyepancakes]

Tagged again! Blessings!

Get to know me tag game!

Tagged by @wenamedthedogkylo AKA my Tumblr crush (according to the statistics)

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20* people.

LAST:

1. Drink: Water 2. Phone call: At the office where I work, helping a plumber schedule their inspection. 3. Text message: A response to a cute cat photo 4. Song you listened to: The Parks & Rec theme song because my parents have decided to binge on it (as a government employee, I can’t watch that show without getting work flashbacks). 5. Time you cried: Seeing Wonder Woman

HAVE YOU:

6. Dated someone twice: ...maybe. 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Yeah. 8. Been cheated on: Thankfully no *knocks on wood* 9. Lost someone special: Yeah, a couple of folks. 10. Been depressed: I’ve been diagnosed with depression since I was 14, whaddya think? 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Never, I don’t drink for that reason.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: Crimson, amethyst, gunmetal 

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Yeah, I suppose I have. 16. Fallen out of love: Yup. Shame, they were good guys... 17. Laughed until you cried: Probably when we played Cards Against Humanity as a family 18. Found out someone was talking about you: At work. I’ve come to learn that the three people doing the talking will not hesitate to throw anybody under the bus, including each other; not even my boss is safe. 19. Met someone who changed you: Not really. 20. Found out who your friends are: See #18, I don’t associate with them outside of work anymore because they are a codependent drama trio. 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: As in Friends? Yeah, and perhaps a bit more...

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Almost all of them. Whether or not I’ve spoken to them since adding them is another thing entirely... 23. Do you have any pets: Three cats, one of whom will be going with me whenever I find myself a damn house. 24. Do you want to change your name: I like Joy just fine, thanks. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I got myself a pedicure after a solo vacation that went terribly wrong. 26. What time did you wake up: 7:20am, meaning I only had 20 minutes to get ready and another 20 to get to work. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Reading Napoleon/Illya fanfic (I recently got hooked on the MfU original TV series and they’re so cute together shut up) and making myself sad by reminiscing about a crush. 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Next season of Peaky Blinders! 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Just now. I still live with my folks. 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish I had more time to relax and explore and do what I want without having to worry about work because goddamn it’s been tough lately. 31. What are you listening to right now: My parents watching whatever the hell they’re watching in the other room. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah, at least one Tom a week comes to the permit office. 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Feeling like I’m trapped at home. I want to be free from my parents! 34. Most visited website: Tumblr.

RANDOM INFO:

35. Mole/s: None really 36. Mark/s: Plenty of birthmarks, a scar on the top of my left foot and one on the inside of my left index finger. 37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be a Boy Scout and an actress 38. Hair color: Dark brown 39. Long or short hair: A bit past my shoulders, I should get it cut soon. 41. What do you like about yourself: My petiteness! 42. Piercings: My ears used to be pierced, but after an earring mishap at age 7 that took a little piece of my ear, I was like nah. 43. Blood type: O+ 44. Nickname: My name is too short for nicknames. 45. Relationship status: Single and crying on the inside about it. 46. Zodiac: Pisces 47. Pronouns: She/her, though they/them is fine too. 48. Favorite TV Show: Ever? It’s a tossup between Boardwalk Empire and Poirot. 49. Tattoos: None. 50. Right or left hand: Righty, though I’m pretty damn sure I was born left-handed. 51. Surgery: Only wisdom tooth extraction so far 52. Hair dyed in different color: Nope, but I wouldn’t mind temporary dye in like a dark red or something. 53. Sport: I’m damn good at badminton (on the rare occasion that I get to play), and I enjoy watching basketball and baseball. 55. Vacation: I’d love to go back to Greece one day 56. Pair of trainers: As in tennis shoes or sneakers? Yeah, I’ve got a pair or two.

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: Just had bean and egg tacos with bacon 58. Drinking: Water, water everywhere. 59. I’m about to: Resume my juggling act on OKCupid. God, I didn’t think I’d get so many messages! 61. Waiting for: Some time off from work. 62. Want: A place to call my own. 63. Get married: Not now. 64. Career: I work for a city government in building permits and inspections.

WHICH IS BETTER:

65. Hugs or kisses: Why choose? Kissing while hugging! 66. Lips or eyes: The look of eyes, the feel of lips 67. Shorter or taller: I’m exactly 5 feet tall, I don’t think shorter is the best option here. 68. Older or younger: In terms of a potential lover? Older, but no more than ten years (unless it was a guaranteed one-night stand with a guy whom I’d never see again and he was gorgeous as fuck). 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: I’m a sucker for toned arms, and abs are always a plus. 71. Sensitive or loud: I’m a sensitive person, so I prefer sensitive people. 72. Hook up or relationship: Preferably a relationship, but I’m not opposed to a hookup under the right circumstances. 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: It’s not hesitation if they’re actually thinking something through.

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a Stranger: No, thank god. 75. Drank hard liquor: Nope. That shit nasty. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I don’t wear glasses (I did for a very brief time, and I might have lost them once). 77. Turned someone down: Hell yes, and most often they’re the same shitheaded guys I want to punch in the face. 78. Sex on the first date: Noooooooo, god no. 79. Broken someone’s heart: See #77, I have no fucking regrets. 80. Had your heart broken: Yeah. 81. Been arrested: No. 82. Cried when someone died: Of course. 83. Fallen for a friend: If I had a dollar for every time that happened...

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: It’s hard to do, but I believe in doing my best. 85. Miracles: Not in terms of things happening out of the blue for no reason or any sort of religious shit, but I believe the universe works itself out. 86. Love at first sight: Don’t. Always take a second look. 87. Santa Claus: I’m Jewish, of course I don’t. 88. Kiss on the first date: Usually not.

OTHER:

90. Current best friend name: Martin 91. Eye color: Brown 92. Favorite movie: Lawrence of Arabia.

*Tagging less than 20 because I don’t think I have that many followers: @sebuttstien-assambard @sebcarring @fierywolf1981 @boina-the-snake

If you wanna do it, tagged or not, go ahead If not, you don’t have to.

#About me...

[amboseus]

Rewatching The Man From U.N.C.L.E

I love this movie so much and I can’t understand how it is so vastly underappreciated. 

Here, I’m gonna list all the things I most likely missed during the first time and bewarned, I WILL gush a lot, attempt at creating meta and there will be spoilers for those who haven’t seen it (which I so don’t understand.) 

Another Warning: This is fucking long.

- Napoleon being distracted by Illya and the pretty guard at the wall. I mean, do I have to say more?

- The moment Napoleon shot out Illya’s tires. The way he was standing with the shadows parting his face and the rainbow flare… Simply beautiful.

- I’ve read a lot about how Illya is the killer in the duo and Napoleon is more the thief. While that is not completely wrong, I believe Napoleon is more than capable to hurt and kill someone, though he cares for people in general far too much for it to come easy to him. Illya is the “hardened” KGB agent, but he also didn’t just kill those guards, when they were stopping him on his pursuit after Napoleon and Gaby, which he easily could have in the same amount of time.

- It shows again, when Illya attacks Napoleon first in the bathroom, while Napoleon is completely on the defensive the whole fight, although I strongly believe Napoleon’s hand to hand is probably as good as Illya’s, if not in a different way.

- Illya has a sense of humour. It doesn’t show immediately and it gets overlooked with Napoleon’s quips and jokes, but it is there. It’s so dry, Illya isn’t used to other people getting it.

- Waverly’s first appearance wasn’t even at the Vinciguerra party. It was already at the hotel, just before Napoleon checked in in Rome. Very nice touch. Things like that won’t be caught the first you watch a movie.

- Illya bullshitting his way through an architectural speech, acting all confident is so adorable. He is all puffed up. 

- Napoleon coming to the rescue to make sure Illya behaves properly, because he already knows exactly how he ticks (or so he believes.) 

- That hurt puppy dog eyes from Napoleon when Illya told him “you’re not needed here.” To be honest, Illya immediately looked like he regretted saying it. He is not immune. - The music is really brilliant. 

 - Everyone saying Illya can’t control himself, but he is the master of control. Everyone saying he is just a beast, a machine, but he is feeling so much. 

- I personally believe Gaby did all that dancing and fighting to get under Illya’s skin deliberately and it worked somewhat. I also believe she faked falling asleep and grabbing his hand unconsciously. That’s way too coincidental with the fact she is an agent. Also his reaction to her physical being close, has nothing to do with her, and everything to do with him not having any physical contact with anyone outside of fights. (Can’t people, especially male-female, just be hitting it off as friends and not immediately have some romantic/sexual tension?) 

- Napoleon is not committed to making the hotel woman stay in bed with him. Could be attributed to him tired after a long stretch of sex, but I don’t think so. 

- He is also slightly peeved, either at himself for missing bugs again and trusting Illya already too much or that Illya doesn’t seem to trust him at all yet. 

- Napoleon’s insulting Illya’s bowtie in a childish attempt to hide his real feelings about this situation. 

- And there’s Illya’s humour again. Also he like his “women” strong. I know who else he liked to wrestle with. 

- That little smirk Waverly had after Napoleon bumped into him to get his invitation. I love to think that Waverly had planned it like this and Napoleon was played without even knowing. That must have been a first. 

- Again, a show of control by our Illya. He also makes a very nice figure in that suit. So handsome. 

- Illya’s protective outburst because of Alexander is so sweet, I want it to happen over Napoleon. Also, Gaby telling Illya to work on his temper is so stupid. He had himself perfectly in control the whole time. 

- Napoleon does a disbelieving double take at Illya when he shows him the Gamma radiation pictures. He is surprised and impressed. And Illya’s sad he didn’t get any praise. Poor boy. 

- So much flirting, so little time. 

- Illya has the better equipment but Napoleon is the much better thief. The little frown at the gun Napoleon sported is another sign of him being against hurting people. 

-That scene with the two doing different things in different locations was so beautifully edited and directed. And again, the music is brilliant. 

- Napoleon and Illya hiding from that one guard in a way that puts Illya in immediate danger though it would be smarter to be the darker dressed smaller Napoleon in front. 

- that curious head tilt from Napoleon. It reminds me of a puppy again. 

- yes, it could be Napoleon gloating about his ability to open a nearly uncrackable safe, but I think it’s to include Illya in what he is doing and not just have him stand by. Because, despite what he is saying, they are already partners, if only unconsciously. (Also Napoleon’s biceps and ass. Why are both guys so freaking handsome?) 

- The camera on the vault door moving with it… Beautiful. 

 -Illya’s face as the alarm goes off: smug and annoyed at the same time to be right. 

- the two switching positions as they run from the gunfire to Napoleon before Illya and always as far away from danger as possible. (We see Napoleon kill one person in the whole fight too.) 

- Napoleon eating during Illya trying to run away from the guards is… Who even has that in their car? Then Napoleon is ready to drive away. (He was always an one man team. Sanders and the CIA were the people caging him, ordering him around, not working with him. No one can be trusted because they will use anything against you.) But he already cares too much, he always cares too much and that’s way he is risking a guaranteed safe escape to save Illya. 

- Illya is worried and the first thing he needs to know is if Napoleon is okay and the sigh when he turns the device off.

 - Napoleon doesn’t sound thrilled at all that he had to sleep with Victoria and it really shows how he is sleeping with women because of appearances and not because he wants to. He never instigates it.

 - That whole Gaby standing on a table scene… Where to begin? Napoleon standing on the balcony, giving Illya the opportunity to be alone with Gaby, because he just realized that Illya feels attracted to her, which I still chalk up to very limited human contact for a long while. Putting Gaby on the table so that she is taller than the boys is a clever tactic to create a change in dynamic, similar to putting her on top of Illya after their wrestling match two nights ago. Illya had to only flick one switch which Gaby could have done herself easily. She tried to get Napoleon to touch her because he is the supposed ladies man but has no luck at all with him, so she switches to Illya, masterfully playing him. (I also believe the tracker hadn’t been activated because she met with Waverley who as we all know now lives in Room 304 of their hotel.) 

- Napoleon’s timely interruption was because he was watching. His shoulders are stiff and there is no smile, despite the clever little quip he delivers. 

- Illya threw his hat away when he thought he would be jumping into the water. How many has he brought with him? 

- I really need a scene in the sequel where the three of them talk about the fact that Gaby had been lying to them. Yes, they’re all spies and agents, but this is still not a way to build trust. 

- that sassy head shake Illya made when Gaby told Rudi about them. - Napoleon’s act of being completely fine and in control as he looses the grip on the situation. He can’t do anything about losing consciousness, but at least he can choose how he is doing it. 

 - Napoleon strapped in the chair, again not in control at all, enduring the pain in absolute silence. The way he doesn’t look Victoria in the eye when she leans close s the slow panic settling in. Gaby betrayed him, the CIA sees him as an expendable pawn and Illya is a KGB agent after the disk. There is absolute no reason for Napoleon to believe anyone is coming to save him and that’s why hope is slipping, dread and fear. - the use of Shadow and light in the torture scene is incredibly well done and engineered. 

- having pictures of himself where Rudi is the doctor eliciting pain in others is so perverse it fits perfectly. 

 - Napoleon still suffers the pain in silence even as he is sure no one will come for. He won’t give anyone the satisfaction of seeing him weak. Illya races to him, hoping to be there in time even as his task is to get the disk, nothing else. (Damn the music hits me again.) 

- the pure relief on Napoleon’s face, the way he relaxes completely when he sees Illya. How Illya is so much less tense now that he is seeing Napoleon alive, in comparison to how he was in the car. He needs to cross his arms to not rush forward to get Napoleon off the damn chair. 

 - Illya’s wide shocked eyes as he accidentally shocked Napoleon who is not even that surprised at the childish curiosity from the giant. 

 - Illya’s humour. Love it. 

- How did Napoleon get his jacket out of the fire? I want to believe Illya got it for him, but who knows. 

- The complete unwillingness on their faces the entire phonecalls, because they know what is coming. They know agencies like these too well. Napoleon looks at Illya and already knows he won’t be able to do it. Illya looks at Napoleon and knows he will do it if necessary but it will break another piece of him. 

 - Waverley is such a sassy bitch for a Brit. 

 - scene transitions are so beautifully done. I’m in love. 

- Napoleon’s ability to spot the Watch from maybe a minute total of observation time when it was on Illya’s wrist proves once again his sharp eye. 

- Napoleon called Illya by his first name over the com. And this is after being given the kill order. 

 - Illya on a motorbike. Ugh. Too hot. 

- the camera movements are so amazing. Everything is coming together so nicely. 

 - yes, Illya can throw a motorbike but Napoleon is fucking strong too.

 - I may not like Illya and Gaby as a romantic pairing, but watching him kill a guy with a knife while watching the life go out of his eyes without flinching and then transform into this soft protective guy is a sight to behold. 

- Illya’s expression of “of fucking course we did all that for the wrong warhead”. 

- napoleon swallowing with a stony expression hiding how fucking scared he is that they might fail. 

 - Napoleon has such a way with words. I love it. 

- Napoleon looks over to Illya while Victoria is talking and Illya nods, conveying confidence in Napoleon and assuring him their part of the plan is ready. 

 - Napoleon must feel so satisfied. The woman who drugged him, took away his control and forced him into spending the night with her for proof that he is who he says he is, who put him at the mercy of a psychopath, who wanted to kill a fuckton of people with a nuclear bomb, just got what was coming to her, and while he might not entirely aprove of killing, he most likely doesn’t disapprove of this entirely either. 

- Illya's soft expression and the affection in his everything. While Gaby doesn't seem remotely as open and her guard is still pulled up high. 

- Illya's barely controlled face. Left by Gaby with whom he could have had something good, betrayed by Napoleon he had just started to trust and believed he didn't have to kill him, but he was wrong. Everything destroyed in one sentence and then of course, Oleg who is not a friend or a colleague or a person Illya can trust either. He is alone again. But still he can't verbally agree to the order to kill Napoleon, even as his rage and pain threaten to consume him completely. 

- Napoleon let Illya out of his sight in the same room as him. A first in the whole movie. Then he sees Illya's face properly and know immediately that something's wrong. He knows him too well. Napoleon places a gun in reach because he knows. He knows Illya is there to kill him for the disk and this is still an option. Kill the Russian if necessary was the order, but when did Napoleon ever play by Sander's rules if he didn't had to? Napoleon deliberately shows Illya his back, emphasizing to Illya his trust, asking him if he is okay which is giving him an out. His frown says it loud and clear that he doesn't want it to go down like this. Napoleon is not wearing a mask in front of Illya, opening himself up. Napoleon sees Illya reaching for his gun, grabs his own and makes a conscious decision: placing his life in the hands of the man who he is convinced will kill him. He takes a leap of faith, does something he has never done in his life, because this is Illya and he won't be able to kill him, even in self preservation. 

 - napoleon and Illya saying their last words to each other, thinking they will never see each other again and they are lying, Napoleon with a complete straight face because his masks are perfect, but Illya with a tiny smile. Illya looks more relaxed than ever.

 -Waverley is still a sassy bitch and I love it. - Waverley also is a former alcoholic and opium addict. Interesting. 

- under psychological disorders, Napoleon has gambling Backgammon and serial womanizer. Both seems bullshit. He never once went after a woman, never treated a woman differently than he did any man. And if gambling, why the hell backgammon? This seems to be another thing Napoleon manipulated for him to feel the semblance of control in the cage he is living in.

 - Again I must say the music is still brilliant and those credits are wonderfully edited with the pictures. (I felt like I was running out of adjectives there.)

#this took four hours #I paused the movie every time I wanted to write something down #but it was so worth it #I managed to catch so much more than I would have if i just watched it normally #napollya #meta #the man from uncle #napoleon solo #it's 7:30am #fuck #illya kuryakin #detailed #long ass post is long #long post #read at your own peril #he #peril #get it? #gaby teller

[cha-melodius]

The Definition of Madness Chapter 2

Whumptober No. 23: Exhaustion

Fandom: The Man from UNCLE (2015)

Pairings: Napoleon Solo/Illya Kuryakin, Napoleon Solo & Illya Kuryakin & Gaby Teller

Summary: They say the definition of madness is doing the same thing and expecting a different result.

Or, Illya gets stuck in a very whumpy time loop.

Ao3 Link

*****

Previous Chapter

Illya gasps as he wakes, still choking on air that’s too thick to be breathable, but what fills his lungs is comparatively sweet and fresh despite the fact that it’s been shut up too long inside a musty safehouse and smells vaguely like onions and cooking eggs.

It was a nightmare, he thinks, still huffing his breaths. The light is dim in the bedroom, but he can see that he is, in fact, lying in his bed. He can hear the soft sounds of Napoleon in the kitchen, cooking breakfast.

“Fuck!” Napoleon swears loudly.

For a moment, Illya forgets to breathe again. It can’t be. He pushes himself out of bed quickly and hisses at the unexpected pain in his knees. What the—? Pressing his fingertips into his kneecaps yields a bloom of discomfort, like they had been bruised, like he had landed hard on them.

It can’t be.

He yanks the door to his room open and finds Gaby already tutting over Napoleon in the kitchen, pushing her sleep-mussed hair out of her face while their partner runs cold water over his burned hand.

“Impossible,” Illya blurts, causing them both to look up at him in confusion.

“Christ, Peril, are you ok?” Napoleon asks, momentarily forgetting about his own injury. “You look like you haven’t slept at all.”

Illya knows his eyes must look wild, which is probably fair because he feels like he might be going insane. “What day is it?” he demands.

“What?” Gaby says, gaping at him.

“What day is it?”

“October twelfth,” Napoleon answers carefully. The furrow of concern in his brow deepens. “Why?”

“Have we been up to the compound?” Illya asks. “Yesterday, did we go?” Slowly, like she’s trying not to spook a wild animal, Gaby moves around the counter and approaches Illya with her hand outstretched. “Illya, what is going on?”

“Did we go?” he snaps, stumbling backward and wincing against the pain in his knees.

Gaby gives her head a little shake. “No, we got here yesterday. Don’t you remember?”

He does remember arriving at the safehouse, remembers their now-routine thorough check of the house and settling in over dinner. But the thing is, he also remembers Napoleon’s burned hand, and climbing up the mountain, and cutting through the fence… and he remembers them all being captured. Remembers falling to his knees on a concrete floor, remembers choking on some chemical in the air. He doesn’t say any of this.

“I…” he says, trailing off as he looks from Napoleon and Gaby and back again. The whole thing would sound insane, he knows, and as he stands there it is starting to seem insane even to him. He swallows hard. “Just… just a vivid dream.”

Illya retreats to the bathroom before either of them can say anything more. He needs some time to think. He needs to calm down. There must be another explanation, even if he doesn’t know what it could possibly be. The porcelain of the sink is cold under his hands, grounding, and he forces himself to breathe in and out slowly.

Eventually he looks up at his reflection in the mirror and fuck, he does look like shit. There are heavy dark circles under his bloodshot eyes, and his cheeks are sallow. He feels like he didn’t sleep the previous night, exhaustion heavy in his bones, even though he knows he must have slept.

Just a terrible dream, he tells himself.

He’s almost starting to believe it, but then he reaches up to pull the medical supplies off the shelf next to the sink for Napoleon and catches sight of his wrist. The skin is rubbed raw, as if by rope bindings, and there is simply no way that could have possibly happened except…

Illya leaves the bathroom under the watchful stares of his partners and says no more about his ‘dream’.

“Maybe we should put the op off for a day or two,” Gaby suggests, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

“No,” Napoleon and Illya say in unison. Well, at least they agree on that.

“We’ll be fine, Chop shop,” Illya tells her, and hopes he’s right.

*****

The hike to the compound is much the same as it was, excepting the fact that his knees protest every step until the pain finally recedes to a dull ache, and the exhaustion still hasn’t left his bones. His partners watch him carefully the whole way, clearly waiting for him to show any more signs of his earlier madness, but he knows better now. And if he happens to know exactly where Gaby will trip on a root, or the precise way that Napoleon will complain about the lunch he himself packed, Illya keeps it to himself.

He also keeps it to himself when they split up at the rally point, even though he wants to insist that they stay together. Just because he apparently had some kind of strange, precient dream, doesn’t mean that things will work out exactly that way. It’s disconcerting that he doesn’t know how Gaby and Napoleon were captured, but he can at least make his own choices to change the terrible outcome he’d forseen.

When he finds the building, right where it’s not supposed to be, he skirts carefully around its perimeter first. It really does seem to be empty, so the people who appeared must have entered from somewhere else. He checks each of the surrounding buildings, taking note of the group of five armed men in one and ten in another. They must have been part of his capture, but his vision had been too compromised to be sure of anything.

What he does not find is any sign of the man who had given the orders. Illya wonders if he tripped some kind of undetectable silent alarm by entering the building the previous time, and then he wonders if he could trip it again to draw the man out and still leave the building fast enough to get caught. In the end, he decides it’s too risky with all of the armed guards in the area. He’s supposed to meet his team back at the rally point in five minutes, so he can just report what he’s learned and they can make a plan from there.

Except his partners don’t return to the rally point. Not after five minutes, and not after ten. Illya swears softly under his breath and does the only thing he can do: begins searching parts of the compound that his partners were assigned to cover. The night stretches on, inky black shadows gaining luminous contrasts as the moon rises, and he finds nothing. No sign that they had ever been there. He must be missing something, but he can’t see what.

Eventually he returns to the rally point—and finds no trace of his team there either, of course—and decides to check on his sector and see if the guards are still in the same locations. Maybe if he plays it right he can draw one out, then use him to find his partners. When he turns the corner, though, he finds them all milling around outside the chemical building, which is now completely lit up from within.

Fuck.

It seems almost a certainty that the organization has Gaby and Napoleon, and that they’re holding them in the same building where Illya had seen them brought before. The problem remains, though, that there is only one of Illya and at least twenty armed guards outside the building, plus some unknown number within. The good news is that they don’t seem to know he’s there, or if they do they aren’t searching for him.

Most of the guards are focused around the front of the building, and he finds when he goes around the back that the rear is nearly deserted. Perhaps because there are only a few windows high off the ground, not that this would stop Illya. He manages to silently knock out the two guards posted there, leaving them slumped against the back wall, and with a small hop his fingers find purchase on the window ledge.

Carefully, he pulls himself up high enough to peer inside and confirm his suspicions: Gaby and Napoleon are bound, kneeling on the concrete floor, as the man giving orders paces in front of them. They don’t look drugged, not like Illya had been, but they clearly put up a fight, because there is a purple bruise blooming over one side of Napoleon’s face and Gaby is sporting a split lip. A few guards are posted nearby, watching the only door and not, thankfully, the windows. Before he can see much more, the man turns toward his window and he has to drop back down to avoid being seen.

After a few more moments he decides to risk another look. Fortunately the man is turned away, facing Gaby and Napoleon and apparently speaking to them, though it’s not audible through the glass of the window. Napoleon glares up at him, but Gaby is just staring at the ground. It’s a standard move for her, and it means she’s trying to look frail and unintimidating so the captors will underestimate her. It usually works like a charm, though Illya gets the feeling these people won’t be as easily fooled.

Illya carefully tries the latch and finds it unlocked, then slowly pushes it open, keeping his eyes fixed on the man’s back. His luck holds for once, and it slides open silently. Their captor seems quite intent on his partners, so Illya takes the opportunity to hoist himself up and halfway through the window in one smooth motion. The movement clearly catches Napoleon’s eye, but Illya can see the moment he realizes what is happening and keeps his gaze moving so as not to attract attention. Their captor doesn’t seem to notice.

“We’ll have your partner in custody soon enough, when he comes for you,” the man tells them. “Whether you are still alive to say your goodbyes is up to you.”

“He wouldn’t be stupid enought to come after us alone,” Napoleon bluffs. “He’s probably halfway down the mountain already, calling for backup.”

In reality, there is no backup. The whole operation had to be kept exceedingly quiet because of political instability in the region, so there would be no helicopters or armored convoys coming to save them. Just Illya.

“Oh no,” the man says, the amusement obvious in his voice. “I assure you, he’s still on the premises. We would know had he left.”

Illya watches the scene from his perch in the frame of the window, knowing that he’ll have to drop nearly half a meter down to the floor. He needs some noise to cover, and when Napoleon’s eyes flick to his for half a second he knows he’ll have it. What he doesn’t expect is for that cover to come via Napoleon trying to lunge toward the man, triggering several guards to rush forward. One slams a rifle butt across Napoleon’s face while another kicks him in the gut, and Napoleon doubles over, spitting blood onto the concrete floor in front of him.

“Solo!” Gaby shouts, which is somewhat disconcerting because it means that the man must already know their real names.

In the commotion, Illya drops to the floor and quickly hides in the deep shadows thrown by the lab benches. The man is saying something to Napoleon again, but Illya tunes them out, watching the guards intently. Their hands are on their weapons but they’re clearly not ready to fire, and Illya knows he would have enough time to take them out before they could get a shot off. What he doesn’t know is what the man in charge would do, nor how long it would take the guards outside to respond. He needs to get his partners free, but the distance between he would need to cover is too great.

He takes a few calculated risks and gets closer, until he knows he’s just going to have to make his move. The adrenaline thrumming through his body doesn’t quite muffle the pain that still lingers in his knees, nor the exhaustion that weighs heavily on him, but he doesn’t have many options. Four soft pops from his silenced handgun, and the four guards inside the building drop, but some of his shots don’t exactly find their marks. One of the guards manages a spray of rifle fire in Illya’s direction that he just avoids, and rapidly all hell breaks loose.

Illya expected guards from outside to rush through the single door, and he expected that any guards he didn’t fatally wound might try to get shots off at him. What he did not expect is for the man in charge to also have a gun, somehow hidden from sight. He did not expect for the man to grin as he pulls it and points it at Napoleon’s chest, and he did not expect him to simply pull the trigger instead of threatening to do so in order to take them all captive.

Everything seems to happen in slow motion, then. Illya hears himself scream Napoleon’s name as his partner slumps forward. Gaby lurches to the side, away from the gun, trying to get her feet under her with her hands still bound behind her back. The man twists away with what seems like too much speed when Illya fires at him, or maybe it’s just that his shots go wild. Illya feels something thud into his shoulder, just below his collarbone, and when he looks down there seems to be a rather large amount of thick liquid soaking through his black shirt.

Must have hit an artery, he thinks distantly as conciousness rapidly slips away from him. He doesn’t feel himself hit the ground.

Next Chapter

#whumptober2020 #no.23 #exhaustion #the man from u.n.c.l.e. #fic #the man from uncle #tmfu #napollya #napoleon x illya #napoleon solo #illya kuryakin #gaby teller #my fic