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byuneebuns · 5 years

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Polarity (Part 1)

Yunhyeong/Hanbin x Female Reader Soulmate AU

Rated: M for Language and Eventual Smut

Tags: Angst, Slow Burn, Smut, Soulmate AU

TW: MENTIONS OF DEATH/S**CIDE (this chapter only)

Author’s Note: HI EVERYONE it’s me the author with a bunch of ongoing works, back again with a new series! I’m sorry that the introduction is so long;;;;; I hope you like it though and as always your feedback is very loved and appreciated! <3

When people think of soulmates it’s always of the star-crossed lovers. Those great romance stories, of perfection and completion, and of happy endings. Of people who’s lives scarcely mattered before they were swept off of their feet in a fated, world-shaking romance. When the soulmate gene mutation started showing up in the next generation of children it was met with the same sensationalism.

Amazing. Incredible. A blessing from God himself.

Those sentiments were shared by everyone until the first deaths took the world by storm.

The headlines were as lifeless as the people they were reporting about. No witticisms graced them, only shock. What was seen as a blessing only the day prior was suddenly a calamity.

The story was that a young couple had recently been married. They were happy together, successful, and expecting their first child in only a few short months. The activation of the mutated gene changed everything.

The gene itself manifested as a small counter somewhere on the body that would stop when the alleged love of your life made eye contact with you. To make matters worse, the affected area would also tingle when they were nearby and burn painfully when the deed was done and the numbers came to a halt.

The couple were out to dinner when the wife suddenly gasped, clasping her hand to her stomach. Her husband stood, rushing to her side, concerned for the welfare of their unborn son. A nearby waiter hurried over with a glass of water that shattered before it reached them. The waiter and the woman were facing each other, eyes slightly glossed over, looking as if they’d seen the sun for the first time. They were both wincing; him holding his forearm gingerly, her cradling her stomach.

Having a fated love appear isn’t so great when you thought you’d already found the love of your life.

The waiter had begged to be apart of her life, even casually, but she’d refused under the possessive eye of her husband. The woman tried to stay faithful to her husband and eventually fell into a deep depression.

The story ends with the deaths of all those involved. The husband went mad with jealousy and murdered the waiter, which unbeknownst to him caused his wife an indescribable amount of pain and grief, driving her to take her own life. His soon followed by his own hand.

More stories like that one started cropping up and soon enough they were impossible to ignore.

After lengthy debates it was eventually decided that humans deserved their free will and their freedom. Top scientists and researchers immediately began looking for a way to alleviate the side effects of the soulmate gene, if not eradicate it entirely, and nearly two decades later they’d done it.

A small injection at birth, just one vaccine among many, was all it took.

The time counter marks were irreversible, but there was no more more tingling and no more burning. The compulsion was still there, as was the psychic link, but they were severely weakened.

They were beatable.

Humans were once again masters of their own romantic destiny.

Year 21xx

You hugged your bag to your chest tightly, your free hand clinging to an empty space on a nearby pole, trying your best to keep your balance on the crowded train. You could feel your hand slipping, your sleeve riding up your forearm while you struggled to maintain the grip your sweaty palm barely had on the cool metal.

You tried to lean forward, to get closer, but the wall of bodies amassed around the pole wouldn’t budge. You felt your cheeks heat up as your sleeve slowly crept further up. You dropped your arm, pulling your sleeve back down as quickly as you could. Unfortunately the train came screeching to a halt at about the same time, sending you hurling face first into the back of a disgruntled office worker.

You exited the train car, calling out a final apology to the person you’d nearly bulldozed, and started towards your destination with a heavy sigh. Your breath made little clouds in your face and you shivered at how cold it had gotten while you’d been in transit. You pulled back your sleeve, exposing your bare skin to the cool night air, and your mouth pulled into a tight frown.

Goosebumps covered the inky black numbers but there they were, clear as day under the night sky, still ticking against the thin skin of the inside of your left wrist. You sighed again, shaking your sleeve back into it’s place. You didn’t particularly want to meet your soulmate. Did anyone want to these days? You still couldn’t help glancing at the numbers from time to time regardless to check to see if they’d halted. You’d always felt that having them in such a prominent place was a pain. Most people tried to forget that they were cursed, you see, but you were reminded of it every time that you forgot to put on your watch.

You shook your head gently, strands of hair falling into your eyes in protest, and hunched your shoulders as you trudged through the lamp lit city streets.

You were hit by a wall of heat as the heavy door to your destination swung open.

“Welcome to Polari- oh, it’s just you.”

You stuck your tongue out at the bartender and started peeling off your extra layers of clothing and tossed them on the coat rack. Once sufficiently free of your excess winter attire you took an open stool at the bar. Bobby was already there waiting for you with a vodka soda at the ready. He slid it across the counter and rested his elbows where the glass had been moments ago, his large hands cradling his face as he observed you.

“Rough day? You’re not normally here on days off.” He commented as he watched you sip your cocktail through pursed lips.

“Oh, Bobby, I just couldn’t help myself. I can’t stay away from you.” You simpered, drawing a loud laugh from your companion.

“If only I was so lucky, huh?”

“I got stood up again.” You finally admitted with a roll of your eyes. You knew Bobby better than to think he would leave you alone without an answer.

“You have the worst luck with men. How is it possible for you to chase them away before they’ve even met you.” He laughed, dodging your playful swat with practiced dexterity.

“At this point I’m almost hoping I’ll meet my soulmate. At least I’ll know that someone out there will have to love me.” You pouted dramatically, emphasizing your sarcasm.

He frowned, shaking his head almost apologetically. He opened his mouth to speak, but before the words could leave him the door was being pulled open and a heartfelt greeting was leaving his lips instead.

“Welcome to Pola- Guys!”

A group of men that looked to be around your age were pouring into the entrance one by one. You eyed each of them in turn appraisingly and were pleasantly surprised by how attractive they all were.

Bobby had abandoned his station behind the bar and was running over to a rather disgruntled looking man with tousled black hair that framed his face well and was shaved on the sides. He had on large aviator frame glasses, ripped jeans, a bright yellow hoodie, and sneakers that looked like they cost more than your car. His eyes were almonds under thick, wide brows, and his face was well-sculpted and indisputably manly.

Bobby was all sunshine and smiles as he excitedly greeted his friend, but his companion looked as unmoved as ever. The former led the group to the bar top where they took seats near you. You trained your eyes on your glass, unwilling to be caught sizing up a man you’d already determined was quite good looking, when your name called you to attention.

“She’s a bartender here. This is Hanbin. He’s my closest childhood friend.”

The man called Hanbin turned slowly in his seat and examined you with a piercing stare.

“Nice to meet you.” You supplied, trying to keep your voice bright. To your humiliation the man simply quirked an eyebrow at you and turned back to Bobby. Your cheeks colored with embarrassment.

Bobby just shook his head and shot you an apologetic glance.

“As popular with women as always, I see.” He chuckled, sliding over a glass of clear liquid that you hadn’t seen him pour.

Hanbin merely shrugged his shoulders and sipped the drink in silence.

“He seems like a grumpy old man, but I promise he’s a really great guy once you get to know him.” Bobby supplied, trying as usual to spin things in a positive light.

Tonight you just weren’t having it. You’d been insulted enough by men in one day to last you a lifetime.

You downed the rest of your glass and slid it across the counter to Bobby.

“Who says I want to get to know him?”

You were pleased to see Hanbin’s eyebrows knit together with annoyance, but before he could counterattack you were both startled by the giggles that erupted behind you.

“She’s got a point.”

You spun around in your stool and were suddenly face to face with what appeared to be...an angel.

In stark contrast to the grumpy man seated to your left, the one at your back was all smiles. His eyes were bright and sparkly, his shapely lips stretched to show a warm, genuine smile that felt like it held the sun itself. He was dressed in a plain black turtleneck over black jeans and boots, pulling off an effortless elegance. His black hair was short and swept over his forehead with an undercut in the back. His face was boyish and yet handsome, and you found yourself smiling back at him without realizing it.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to suffer in his company. I’m Yunhyeong.”

You scoffed, taking the full glass that you saw Bobby handing to you in your peripherals.

“Who says I want to get to know you either?”

Yunhyeong looked scandalized.

You were surprised to hear laughter coming from your left. Hanbin’s head was tilted back, his prominent adam’s apple bobbing with every bark of laughter that escaped his pouty lips.

“Yah, don’t bully my friends.I need them to keep coming back here to keep me company when you leave me all by myself.” Bobby whined.

With that, the mood shifted and the room was now alight with warm laughter and banter, most of which was the men teasing Bobby about missing them. You turned away form the man called Yunhyeong and sat in silence, sipping the bitter drink that you always ordered more out of habit than enjoyment. You felt someone brush your thigh as they squeezed into the seat to your right.

“You can’t really mean that you don’t want to know me?” Yunhyeong was pouting, obviously still stricken by your rejection.

Your cheeks were permanently stained red from the warmth of the liquor. You could feel the effects swirling in your brain, emboldening you.

You’d come here to avoid men (except for Bobby), and yet here they were on all sides.

You sighed, running a hand through your hair, as you turned to face your persistent companion.

“Why would I want to?” You asked teasingly, tapping your fingers on the bar.

“Well, for one, I’m very good-looking.” He said seriously.

You laughed in earnest this time.

“And apparently I’m pretty funny too.” He finished, smiling sweetly.

“I’ll give you that; you are pretty funny. I guess the real question then is why does someone that’s so good-looking and funny want to get to know me?”

Yunhyeong smiled again with a devilish glint in his eyes, leaning as close as the distance between your stools would allow.

He was entirely too close now, suffocating all of your senses with his presence. You didn’t even see his hand reach for your face, one strong finger tilting your chin up to face him better. He inspected you closely and you swallowed roughly. It had been so long since you’d been this close to a man, let alone one this handsome, and to say it wasn’t having a physical effect would be a lie.

“You’re beautiful, so why wouldn’t I want to know you?” He murmured, his voice velvety.

You felt your face glow like the sun as you hastily pushed his hand away and turned away from him, finishing the rest of your drink while he laughed.

“How many girls has that worked on?” You asked, praying that your flush was starting to fade.

“At least one more today,” supplied a sarcastic voice from your left.

Hanbin was watching you out of the corner of his eyes with an expression you couldn’t read.

Yunhyeong was faster than you with his retort.

“Ah, Hanbin, are you jealous that I’m paying attention to someone else?” He teased, suddenly raising his voice to address the rest of the people in the room:

“Children! Everyone! Please come and love our cute Hanbinnie that is feeling lonely!”

Without a moment’s notice five men, including Bobby, descended upon Hanbin laughing raucously, hugging him, tugging on his hoodie and trying to tickle him. To your surprise he was no longer disgruntled, but rather was laughing with them and trying to tickle them back.

“What a weird guy.” You said, more to yourself than anyone else. You jumped a little when Yunhyeong answered you.

“Hanbin is definitely a weird guy. He isn’t bad, but he doesn’t always do well when he meets new people. He’s shy.” He said, smiling again.

You raised one eyebrow in disbelief. Shy was not the word you would have chosen. You opened your mouth to quip back but at that moment Hanbin had put Bobby in a headlock and the latter was flailing his arms dangerously close to your drink. You reached out to grab it before it fell victim to the mayhem, and in that moment time stood still. The numbers on your wrist had stopped moving.

Your breath caught in your throat. You brought your hand down under the shadow of the bar and pulled back your sleeve to confirm you hadn’t been seeing things, but sure enough they’d come to a dead halt. Panic washed over you. One of the men in this room was your soulmate...but who? When had it stopped?

“Hey, are you okay?” A concerned voice from your right brought you back to the present.

“Yeah, no, I’m...fine. Yeah.” You said, your voice sounding hollow even in your ears. Thankfully the rest of the men were preoccupied with harassing Hanbin so the only person that bore witness to your internalized panic was Yunhyeong.

“I think I should go.” You said, mostly to yourself again. Yunhyeong must have amazing hearing.

“Can I walk you home?” He asked, concern etched into his soft features.

“No, I live close, I’m okay. I’m okay.” You repeated it, as if confirming it for yourself and stood to leave without letting him press the matter.

“See you tomorrow, Bobby!” You called, your voice still colored with the same unnatural tone, as you collected your belongings and all but ran out of the bar.

Seven pairs of eyes watched you flee; One of them belonged to someone you were destined to fall in love with.

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ikonislife · 7 years

Text

Pointless.

- Yunhyeong x Reader

- Minor angst, fluff

- When the world come crashing down, will Yunhyeong be able to save your relationship from the sharp tongues of the world.

- Small drabble I had saved from god knows when. The last part of Just Go will be out soon. It’s finished but after rereading it, I’m not happy with the ending so the release got postponed.

“There she is.”

“Huh, she is pretty. I wonder how much he spent on her.”

“Damn, have you seen her clothes? It’s all his money. I heard she couldn’t even afford cheap stuff before.”

You keep your head down as the crowd of giggling, spite for eyes and poison for tongues girls shuffle pass you, not really bothering to keep it hush. By this point no doubt everyone on this goddamn campus want you to know your kind isn’t welcome here.

The funny thing is, you rolled out of bed this morning 20 minutes past your alarm, too exhausted from the late night studying to bother with appearance, grabbing the first jacket in sight to shield yourself from the gloomy world. You didn’t even have time to even put on proper undergarment let alone thinking of what clothes you put on, not realizing the fact until 3 hours into your day, hoping to God your boyfriend’s thick black hoodie would at least make you look half decent. Glancing down now, you really wished you had grab a plain hoodie instead of his very expensive brand logo screaming to the God sprawled across the fabric. Once the realization hit, you had thought of running back up to your small apartment to change but you were late and the lingering scent of your boyfriend seems to make the tumultuous world just a bit better. In the end, you decided to keep him close, pretend as though he’s with you strutting through campus, shielding you from the bitterness of the world.

You know being with an idol meant giving up your personal life and finding yourself constantly under mercy of every netizen, every craze fan out there, every move being analyze carefully under a microscope of what seems to be bullying justified as opinion. You never bothered with the comments and the hate after your boyfriend and his managers had advised you otherwise but it seems the limit is finally being breach.

If there’s one thing you pride yourself on it’s the ability to take care of yourself. You put yourself through college holding two different jobs while still be able to uphold your grade. You weren’t blessed with the silver, pearls clad spoons like many of your schoolmates but you never did mind. Who care if the girl sitting next to you has on a sweater that cost more than 2 month rents or that her parents paid 5 figures for her apartment every month. Never mind the guy with the car worth ten times more than all yours and your family valuable combined. Getting accepted into the school of princess and princes of corporation X and enterprise Y, you knew you had it coming. Even before Yunhyeong was ever a part of your life, the snide comments and disdainful stares for how shitty your piece of junk car is or how you always seem so dishevel were already flying about. Dating an idol just give another mean for their insults. You were not about to let some stranger chiding you for your monetary worth stopping you from doing your own things.

Your family doesn’t have much but what you do have is enough. As your grandparents used to say “as long as you can face the world another day without guilt, you’ve done something right.” You’ve gone on most your life head strong, not caring what the rest of the world catapult your way. However lately, whether it be the words had gotten harsher or life pressure finally gotten to the better of your strong will but every little thing chips at your heart, the stream of hate finally begins to grind down your stone.

For the 4th night this week you play companion to the moon till he too gives up and tuckers out for the day. Although the moon never did speaks much, something magical about the way his white light embracing your body that squeezes out tears you never thought you’d shed. Tears over complete strangers. Tears over words you vowed to never take to heart.

Chalking it up to being emotional over not seeing your boyfriend for the 3rd week in a row now, you ignore their bitting words and focus on the sunshine that is your loving boyfriend. Yunhyeong being on tour had never easy, especially world tour where he can’t come home in between breaks. As difficult as parting way with him is, you always send him off with a smile knowing he’s living his dream and receiving love from fans. There’s really no need to damage his heart further by letting him see how much the distance really affects your weary heart. Crying can be save for later when the apartment is cold and the bedroom quiet.

Despite being up to his neck in practice and exhaustion from traveling so much, Yunhyeong always puts time in making his absent as easy for you as possible with constant phone calls, texts, and pictures. Even with the brave face he puts on, you can always tell behind the twinkle of his eyes the weariness of a long distant relationship is doing him in slowly.

“Hey, baby. What time is it at home?”

So much solace was brought to your weary heart just by hearing his sweet voice and that million dollars smile.

“It’s midnight, babe.” You sigh, glancing over at the blinking red light atop your nightstand.

“What are you doing up? that’s not good, go to sleep.”

He raises his voice slightly in worrisome. Yunhyeong had never liked you being a night owl and often scold you for staying up late even though he pulls more all nighter than your struggling college student ass had ever done.

“I was waiting for you… I can’t sleep without hearing your voice. What are you doing now?”

You whine a bit, earning a slight chuckle from the sweaty boy. It was true. Something about that deep velvety voice that melts you like butter. His favorite thing to do when you both actually got time is to sing you to sleep. Not loving the fact that you insist on straining yourself on staying up late, he would promise to sing as long as you fall asleep in his arms.

“We’re taking a break from practice. Everyone else ran off somewhere so i hid in the dressing room. I miss you so much. Your ass is getting drown in presents once I get home. I made sure to get you something in every city we’re in so it’s kinda like you were there.”

Excitement laces in his tone as he recount the thought he put into picking out each and every present that was to be yours the second he lands home. Once you came home to find a dejected Yunhyeong slumping on the couch, you had pried the reason out of him thinking it was just something silly. What came out instead broke your heart. He had felt so guilty for leaving again having just been home for 2 days, he couldn’t help but think about how sad you look when you think he wasn’t looking. In a whim, you made him promised to get you a postcard representing the city he’s in as a way to make up for leaving so often.

“Just a postcard, babe? You sure you don’t want anything bigger?”

“Nope, I’m happy with the postcard. This way I get to see what’s famous in the places you traveled to. When you get home, you can tell me all about the postcard. Where you got it, did you like the place, did you eat good food, things like that. Then maybe one day, you can take me there.”

His eyes light up at your small but thoughtful gesture. It gives him something to look forward to in the long trips without his love. He had excitedly combed through stores after stores to look for that perfect postcard. Although there were times he’d come home with 3 different one having not being able to decide. Your small bedroom wall had became a sort of museum, nearly every inch filled with bright colorful papers. Every lonely night, you’d sit in front of it recalling every story that come with the small piece of papers tracking the history of your long distant relationship. Eventually as Ikon gotten more famous and the boys became successful, his gifts became heavy with monetary value but not once did he ever forget about your postcard, never.

Oblivious of your bleeding heart, he continues rambling on in anticipation of your reaction, not noticing the silent spewing out through the speaker from your end. Humming a few yes, and sweet words in reply, you couldn’t help but let the poisonous comments intrude into your happy moment. It was as well that Bobby burst in to drag him away to practice when he did as not a second after he sending you his love and bid adieu, you break down crying sending the phone tumbling down onto the floor. How could you be so vulnerable that you let the jealousy of a few malicious comments stain his love and care.

As his homecoming draws closer, as oppose to the comfort it usually brings, his attentiveness only adds to your fatigue. With every phone call, your time with him grew shorter coining increase in school load. He’d simply give you a sadden understanding smile but deep down he knew... You both were growing apart and it scares him.

Another two week gone by with much difficulties and your pain isn’t anywhere close to being relieved. Another round of acid reflux fills your throat as you sit in the back of the black vans steading fast toward the airport. Nervous is to say the least of your unraveling nerve. As the news of your relationship is no longer a secret, often times the managers would let their girlfriends tag along to pick up the boys knowing how hard it must be to part way for months on ends.

Sitting quietly in the van, your heart grow heavy at the thought of having to lie to him. You’re an honest person, you call things as it is but this was something you have to handle yourself. After all Yunhyeong was the one person that always throws you off your beaten path, nothing you do seems to make sense when it comes to him and right now, the thought of bringing him into something so petty just irks you the wrong way. Staring out at the planes tearing through the bright blue sky, for the first time in your life you wish you were made of gold. Then maybe life wouldn’t be so hard, maybe the fans would accept you, maybe all your problem would be solve if you could tag along on their tour like Bobby’s or Chanwoo’s girlfriend. Having grew up in rich families, they have leeways in their life that you couldn’t even dream of.

“BABY! I didn’t know you were coming.”

His scream burst your bubble almost as quick as the monster hug coming your way. Feigning a soft smile, you pretend as if just a moment ago you weren’t just questioning the love you both built for years. It’s amazing how being with the person you love can instantly makes you feel better as his warm embrace, that familiar cologne, the way his lips feel, everything is just right.

The road home consist of you clinging onto his arm like a koala, which Yunhyeong doesn’t mind one bit. Although he often whines about how you always follow him around like a lost puppy, he really loves the way you make him feels like there’s no one else in the world but him. Resting his head on the top of yours, he smile contently finally being able to be there for whatever problem it was that sprinkled your long lashes with tears when he first entered the van. For now, he’ll let slide the way you not so secretly wiping off a few tears when you think he wasn’t paying attention.

Agreeing on having him sleep at his parents for the first few nights knowing how much they miss him, you were both packing a small duffle bag, all ready to leave when he frowns, noticing the small shiver in your shoulders.

“Why don’t you wear my jacket, baby. It’s thicker and warmer.” Not really giving you time to answer, he had already stripped of it and wrapping it around your frame.

“I’m okay. Thank you!” You smile softly, a thumb swiping across his soft cheek as you decline his offer as delicately as you could.

“Stop being stubborn. You were shivering earlier outside, clearly not fine. Mine’s all warmed up already. I’ll just grab another one.”

“Yunhyeong, I’m fine! You worry too much.” Slightly annoyed, you smile but the strain in your voice telling him you were anything but happy.

“Stop arguing with me.” His voice grows firm from your sudden resistant to his love. What happen to the girl that would willingly live in a kangaroo pouch if he has one attach to his stomach. He hadn’t even been home for that long but it was more than obvious you’re pushing him away. What happened in the last few weeks. As far as he knows, you still had that sad puppy face whenever he had to hang up the phone. The little sigh and the small whimper whenever he coped to how much he missed you.

“GOD. Can you leave me alone? I said I’m fine.”

What happened. He stood there, reeling in the fact that you had just screamed at him for the first time since you first met him at the old cafe he liked to frequent. The cute, soft spoken barista that had him coming back almost everyday even though coffee wasn’t even his favorite. Where did his princess go? Was him ignoring your tear a wrong move? He thought he’d have time later to talk to you but clearly, everything is devolving faster than he could collect it.

“What the hell, baby? I’m just worry about you. Why are you so angry?”

The rising anger in your voice, the way your chest heaves so heavily. What in the world had he done having only been home for a good 30 minutes that could set you off so bad. He just couldn’t understand.

“Just because. Why are you always crowding me? Is it really necessary for you to give me all this expensive shit all the time? I can buy my own things, you know. I’m not a charity case.”

Guilt runs cold through your veins but your frustration had taken root too deep for far too long.

“Okay, something is definitely wrong. Yes, I know you’re capable. And no, you’re not a charity case but is it so bad that I want to provide for my precious girlfriend? Did I ever turn down dinner because you offer to pay? No, never. If I really wanted to, I would be capable of taking care of you for the rest of your life without you ever needing to work. Do I ever ask you to quit your jobs or quit school? No, I don’t because I know how important it is for you to live life your own way. Seriously, after all these time, I can’t believe you’re still stuck on this issue. I told you before, I’ll tell you again. Did you ever consider my side of it all, how bad it feels to have gifts rejected, gifts I’ve spent so much thought in getting thrown back at me because you’re to damn independent to appreciate my gesture? Yes, I could get you cheap flower and $2 wine but you know what, I will never. You work way too hard for everything else in life so at least I could cushion our relationship so you can relax but apparently my effort is “crowding”. If you’re not going to tell me then why am I even here, baby? I’m suppose to be the person you can be unfiltered with. What happened?”

“Just leave me alone.” Aloof, you didn’t even bother looking at him before strutting off toward the bedroom dragging your overnight bag along. No need for it now that you can’t even control yourself long enough to have a happy reunion.

“Fine then. If you’re gonna be like that then I’ll leave. Apparently someone had taken a liking to my absent from all my days on tour.” Frustrated rather than furious, he thinks about giving you some time to cool off before talking things out. You were always so level headed and reasonable. You were always the one that take a step back and evaluate every fight before he has the chance of making anything worse. So how come now you’re the one starting a fight that seems to come out of nowhere. He couldn’t believe that he was actually standing here screaming at you instead of showering you in kisses and love.

“Maybe I have. You’re always gone anyways so who cares.”

You didn’t mean it. You didn’t mean any of it. You were just so sick and tired of hiding that everything come out like vomit. The more you try the harder it gets to control, the more discomfort it brings.

With a slam of the door, Yunhyeong disappears into the night just as the kindness on his face did, tired from traveling, exhausted from your nonsensical moodiness. Slumping onto the ground, the tears you tried so hard to hold back fall out freely. Hand slapping your forehead in regret, you cuss at your own stupidity for pushing the one person that understand and care for you no matter what you throw his way. Yunhyeong had been nothing but sunshine to your drab, utterly average life. He shined lights and love in ways you didn’t know you need. How could you be so cold as to let the words of a few affect your love for him.

Once the tears had lighten, you couldn’t think of anything else but to be back in his arms. Your hands shaky, eyes blurry once again after the 7th call went un-answered. Your texts piled up in desperation of any attention. Frantically grabbing your sweater, you head out the door running. Why is it that when you’re in a hurry, everything seems to move so slow as the elevator heading on its way down from the 15th floor. Abandoning the first route, you take off running to the stair. Ignoring the burning in your lungs from running down your 5th flight of stairs, all you could think of is the anger flashes in his face, the disappointment. In fact you were so far into the thought of him that your senses completely oblivious of the puddle of water in the middle of the lobby.

Everything went white.

Sitting in the middle of the big hospital bed, your eyes teary from the pain but mostly from the lack of love. It’s going on the 4th day now without any contact. Sighing dejectedly, you lay back down onto the pillow, hoping for it to muffle out your tears. Ignoring the sound of the opening door, you whisper lowly to the nurse to leave your lunch as you’re in no mood for food.

“You should really eat, baby. Starving yourself isn’t going to make you better.”

Shock by the loving albeit tired voice, you sit up perhaps a bit too fast judging from the aches in your forehead and the ringing in your ears.

“Shut...up...Shut up.” You groan loudly, begging for the eardrum piercing high pitch white noise to stop, tears pushing its way out from your shut eyes. Yunhyeong couldn’t bear looking at the painful sight of you hurting but he has to be strong, no time to cry now.

Ignoring the throbbing pain of the broken arm, you instinctively cover your face to shield your eyes from the blinding lights. You continue to whimper softly while the other plants down firm onto the bed for support. Seeing your unstable body, he flies over wrapping his arms around your body.

“Baby, lay down. Lean on me, I’m here. Do you need the doctor? I’m calling the doctor.”

“No… it’s fine.”

Whispering lowly, you force yourself back onto the bed, facing away from the face you miss so much but fear to confront. Pulling the blanket up to hide your face, you couldn’t help but let the tear stream down.

“Baby…Why are you hiding from me?” If he was hurt before, the small ball shaking under the blanket kills him now.

“Stop c...calling me that.” your voice barely there, barely even forming coherent sentences.

“You’re my baby so I call you baby. What’s wrong with that? You’re mine, my girl.”

“Please, Yunhyeong. Just…”

“NO. We’re not doing that again. You’re already in the hospital, what else do you want to happen.”

“Just go away. I want to be alone.”

Clearly ignoring your request, he squeeze himself under the blanket just behind your back forcing you into spooning. He were sure if he didn’t do it now, you’d disappear the second he leaves the hospital. Pressing haste kisses all over your hair, he whispers sweet nothing into your ears, hoping to salvage whatever left of this relationship. Feeling guilty, you hesitantly turn around expecting anything from sadness to anger but of course not... He always smiles so brilliantly.

“There we go. Awe, baby. What happened?” His smile falter at the sight of your teary eyes, brows furrowing with deep thoughts and endless worries. His hand reluctantly pet the bandage on your head then the cast on your arm unsure if you’d let him.

“I wish I can take away your pain. Do they hurt much?” He whispers, lips lunges forward to press a kiss onto your quivering lips.

“Not as much as my heart…” You murmur into the thirst quenching kiss, free arm clutching onto his shirt.

“That’s my fault too. I’m so sorry for running off like that, for not answering you. I was so spaced out once I got home I dropped my phone onto the stove while making dinner... I should’ve just come home to check on you. I’m so sorry baby. I just thought you needed space. I should’ve...God.”

His tears soak he pillow as he mumbles an apology that was making less and less sense as the second past from the growing sob.

“It’s mine. I pushed you away.” Your words low and your gaze averts. You couldn’t bear to see the damage you had done.

“Why, babe?” Even after all your unreasonable antic, he remains gentle. His fingers trail along your tear stained cheek, gliding comforting stroke along the way.

“I let the world get to me.”

Reiterating all the words, all the comments you heard, you begin to explain the underlaying dejection and sudden outburst. His face gone from shock, to angry, to just pure fury. Hands never left your body, he places small kisses here and there making sure you know he’s here.

“Look, I know nothing I say will make this shit better for you. I love you. I love you so much. I know no matter how hard I try, I can’t block all the poison. I wish I could ask you to quit everything and stay by my side no matter where I go but that’d be selfish of me. You’re strong and I love you for that. You need to do life your way. It just make me sick that you had to go through such rough times because of me. The only thing I can do is to show you my love and only hope it’s enough for you.”

“It’s more than enough, Yunhyeong.”

His encouraging words like drug to your body. Within minutes, your aching is numb on his love.

“Then ignore them. Ignore them for me, for us. I know it’s hard and I know sometimes it’ll take a toll on you but I love you so much and I just want to be able to care for you anyway I can. You’re the strongest person I know, don’t you ever forget that. They’re jealous because they’re not even 1% of the woman you are. They have everything handed to them and they’re just bored. You fight for everything you have. You fought hard for us. You deserve the love and the things I can do for you. Your life is hard enough, I want to provide you that little bit of easiness. I’m so sorry that my care hurt you instead of lessen your load.”

A bit of disappointment flashes in his eyes before your gentle smile bring back the spark in his eyes.

“Baby, I know I will marry you one of these day. Will you divorce me then if they say you have shit handed to you because i’ll buy us a nice house? Or get us a car when you’re pregnant and have trouble getting around? Or take our little family on vacation because I want you to enjoy the better things in life?”

“No…” You whisper lowly, thinking of how ridiculous it was for you to let something so small drive such a big wedge in your happiness, in his happiness.

“Right. So, when we get married, are you gonna let a few stupid fake fan yell “object” in the middle of the ceremony and ruining your own happiness? My heart is in your hand, babe. Not theirs.”

Firmly reassuring your heart of his place in your life, he takes another long fervid kiss for himself, knowing you need it too.

“I’m sorry, Yun. I’m so stupid. I love you so much. I hurt you because I listened to a few pointless murmurs... When all you’ve done is being lovely.”

“Hey, come on now. You were just worry about stressing me out. That’s not stupid. Next time just come to me, yea? I want to be able to take care of you emotionally if you won’t let me spoil you...You know you can tell me anything.” Carefully pulling you into his embrace, he sigh contently before whispering into your ears playfully. “P.S. I’m not gonna stop spoiling you so you know, get use to it.”

“Fine, you can still spoil me... just take it down a notch. Deal?”

“Deal! I love you, babe. Don’t you ever forget that.”

“I love you more.”

Like anything else in life, if you’re willing to work for it, love has its way of rewarding your struggle. Somehow, you know you’re in good hand with the smiling boy with the warm embrace. Yes, the journey had been long and hard but from here on out, it’ll get better.

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