#if people reblog from someone else from earlier it will be the wrong version btw

[starrystevie]

18+ | cw: public handjobs, coming in pants | crossposted on twitter

“are you okay?”

realistically, eddie knows the answer to steve’s question is no. he’s not okay. he’s sitting in a club booth hard as nails with a flush no doubt covering his whole body. he should say no, far from okay, but instead he says-

“yeah, of course im fine.”

steve brings the back of his hand to wipe at his brow, crinkling his eyebrows together in confusion as he flashes an all too well knowing smirk eddie’s way. 

“you sure?” he asks smartly, leaning over the table to grab his rum and coke. standing back up, he tilts his head. “you look a little… bothered.”

eddie narrows his eyes and looks back out to the dance floor to see the girl steve was just dancing with crossing her arms over her chest. she’s pretty, clearly thinking she was making headway with steve, probably making plans in her head about marriage and babies with freckled cheeks.

eddie sighs and slumps over the table, balances his head in his palm as he plants his elbow on the sticky table top. 

how is eddie supposed to tell him that no, he’s no where close to alright? his cock is leaking into his nice jeans and it’s all from the way steve looks as he grinds into a pretty girl. as he tilts his head back to let the neon lights bounce off his pretty sun kissed skin. as he threads a hand into his own sweaty hair to push it back off his forehead. as he threads a hand into her curly hair to keep her where he wants her. 

he has to stop thinking about it.

if he doesn’t, he’s going to cream his pants and that would make for an even worse evening. 

“im good, man. it’s just a little hot.”

steve nods absently as he sips at his drink, as he looks eddie dead in the eye. eddie sighs and steve smirks again. he’s well and truly fucked.

suddenly, steves sliding into the booth, arm coming up to rest behind eddie’s head. he sputters, floundering as steve gets closer, close enough that he can smell his sharp cologne mixed with sweat, a smell that drives him wild. 

“oh.” steve says simply.

eddie flicks his eyes up to meet steve’s to ask what he’s talking about only to find that he’s staring at his hard on. the humiliation that rushes through eddie must cloud his vision when he thinks he sees steve’s smirk get wider, all teeth like a wolf on the hunt.

“fuck.”

he’s been caught. eddie whispers the curse into the air of the crowded nightclub but steve still hears it. his fingers drop down to just barely graze eddie’s shoulder, causing him to shudder. 

steve huffs out a laugh. “looks like i was right, you are bothered.”

eddie groans and drops his head with his eyes closed. “yeah, yeah, laugh all you want.” if he was flushed earlier, it grows tenfold now. he can feel the heat emanating off of him, warm enough that he feels sick with it.

he wants a hole to open up and swallow him. he wants to run out the door and never look back, saying au revoir to the fairytale idea of ever being with steve. he wants to crawl into his bed and jerk himself off under his covers and think about how hot the humiliation is that runs through him when steve looks at him and-

“you want some help with that?”

eddie freezes. steve’s breath is hot against his ear as he leans down to yell over the music, his lips ghosting over the sensitive skin, the fingers that were teasing along the very tip of eddie’s shoulder pressing more intently into him.

“…do i want some help with what?” he murmurs, sliding his eyes open to glance at steve as he pulls back.

there’s something electric that zings through him as their eyes meet. the lights flash and steve is covered in red, glinting off his teeth like he could go in for the kill.

eddie thinks, knows, that he’d let him if he really wanted to.

“your little problem. or well-” steve breaks off and makes a clear look down, trailing his eyes slowly over eddie before bringing them back up to eddie’s face. “maybe not so little, huh?”

eddie blanches, a whine escaping him without his permission, something high and thready from the back of his throat. it’s a miracle steve can even hear it, but he does, taking it as the ‘fuck yes’ answer that it’s meant to be and sliding his hand down to rest on eddie’s thigh.

steve’s fingers tighten around eddie’s leg as he nods, the pressure quick and intense and enough to have him whining once more, shoulder slumping forward. he’s going to black out, he just knows it. his head is getting all foggy in anticipation.

when he looks down and sees just how hard steve’s breathing too, his chest expanding in time with the increasing pressure of his fingers, it all clicks in eddie’s head. this isn’t just for him like he thought it was. this isn’t just helping with his maybe not so little problem.

this is for steve, too.

once he realizes it, he sees the same realization wash over steve and the floodgates open. there’s a hand cupping his cock over his jeans as steve pulls the table closer to cover what they’re doing. it’s so much so fast and eddie takes in a gasping breath.

steve’s scooting somehow even closer to eddie until they’re pressed together hip to hip, chest to chest, with lips hot against eddie’s ear once more. eddie briefly wonders what they must look like but it’s dark enough that people aren’t looking over. not really.

if they did look over, they’d see eddie with his mouth agape, shoulders and head hunched forward as his friend must be saying something over the music. they wouldn’t see a hand working deliciously over him. they wouldn’t see the tongue flitting out to play with his earrings. they wouldn’t hear the absolute filth that steve is whispering that brings eddie closer and closer to the brink.

“god, i can’t wait to get my mouth on you,” he says and eddie feels like he can’t breathe, his hips bucking forward to chase after an embarrassingly fast orgasm. “think if you come in your pants, you can get it up again when we leave? want you to fuck me into the mattress until i’m fucking crying, til i'm begging for it. think you can do that?”

it’s too much. eddie turns his head and looks at steve with his lip pulled between his teeth. “what about her?”

he doesn’t have to clarify, they both know who he’s talking about. steve grins again as he quickens his hand. watches as red lights and bliss pass over eddie’s face.

“just wanted to make you jealous,” he breathes out, “she has your hair, y’know? wanted to feel like it was you against me.”

steve’s hand grinds into him once more and then his fingers are finding their way around his length in the denim, stroking him quickly. it's a bit too dry and it kind of hurts but they both correctly guess that eddie loves it a bit too dry, a bit too painful.

eddie chokes, eyes squeezing together as he comes in his pants like a goddamn teenager.

“there you go,” steve murmurs pressing a featherlight hidden kiss to his temple.

eddie jolts his hips through the aftershocks, unable to hide the whimpers that escape him. he doesn’t care about it, can’t care about it, not when steve picks up one of eddie’s hands to place on his own hard cock. he can feel a damp spot under his palm, and when he looks up at steve's face, he looks about as wrecked as eddie feels.

the only thing he can possibly say to steve is easy. “take me home. now.”

#WAIT I JUST FOUND OUT IT DIDNT COPY PASTE RIGHT OH NO #okay i just fixed it damnit that sucks #if people reblog from someone else from earlier it will be the wrong version btw #a classic bee wrote smut at work and went a little too overboard with it #my writing #steddie #steddie fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie drabble #steddie ficlet #steddie fanfic #steddie smut

[atinytokki]

Here’s my first impressions (aka this is what 2020 is gonna sound like folks)

Alright so I’m really behind today, as some of you know I literally just got back from vacation and it’s also my first day of classes this semester and it’s just craziness. Yes I’m posting the first chapter of Yeosang’s spin-off today. But people seemed to like my first impressions of the last album so I’m going to do them again. Thankfully (?) this album is a lot shorter so I can pause and talk about stuff.

Warning! a loooong post, squealing, incoherent thoughts smashed together, and crying ahead. A lot of crying. Keysmashes included.

Post-MV thoughts before I listen to it again: There’s way too much to focus on and I’ve watched it many many times to look at the choreo and the storyline stuff that’s happening, but this is my first time listening without the video so I’ll notice more musically this time. But first I wanna say; YEOSANG’S LINES!!!! I’ve been screaming for forever that he has a beautiful deep voice and needs to be given parts that compliment it. And wow it finally happened :’) Anyway here we gooo

건배하자 like a thunder!! Can you believe they literally spoiled the entire hook of their next song in Beginning of the End? *flashbacks to my utter confusion when that happened* San sounds amazing and I like the little echoey thingies. Gives it a real nostalgic feel. Jongho already popping off vocally barely 10 seconds in. Mingi’s rap here and the transition to Hongjoong’s— rap line goals. The attitude in that mm-mm made me smile ngl. This prechorus might be my favourite part of the song. Seonghwa sounds heavenly. An EDM drop bringing back that hook, good decision and again it kinda feels nostalgic?? Especially the oh-oh-ohs which are also giving me a pirate drinking song vibe wow 0.0 Wooyoung with that 불러 불러 lol. Yes the Yeosang part!! I love a good post-chorus switchup and he. handled. it. perfectly. There’s even harmony, yall know how much I love harmony. And SINGING RAPPERS AHAHDJAHAK YESSSSS. Back to that glorious prechorus but it’s Yunho’s turn. This chorus is just such an anthem. I’m bopping rn. San in this bridge— he said I am a VOCALIST listen to my beautiful VOICE. Yay the rappers going back and forth again!! It’s like If Without You. Man I can’t believe I get to replay this song forever. 2020 is gonna be lit. You hit those notes Jongho! I’m always blown away by this kid, and that scoop earlier mmmm. Just nodding very energetically right now. Perfect end to the song. 100/10!!!!

Okay I’m pausing before the next one starts because no I am not prepared. It’s just like last time; I know Hongjoong wrote this and I know it’s gonna ruin me but I have no idea how and when and what it’s even gonna be like but anyway, too bad, let’s just go.

Oh kinda futuristic sounding opening with the synths? Yooo the vocal thingy in the background, sounds like a sample of some kind, that is super cool and I hope we get more of it. Ok I paused just to write that, let me unpause. This is gonna be a long one, I can already tell, sorry guys 😅 And the beat changed right before the vocalists came in. definitely a back and forth thing here in two registers, very sweet. Wow. WOW MINGI WOW. This rap is?? It sounds super mature and idk just full of confidence. I’m shook. Ok the chorus. Holy cow this is LIT lit. Nope nope I need to pause and go back. This is so chaotic, I feel like I’m missing things?? I’m listening to that chorus again because there were so many elements there. I just wanna take this song and break it down second by second to hear every single sound hahahah. I’m only catching an odd word or two here as far as lyrics go. Oml harmonies 💆🏻‍♀️ Alright Hongjoong’s rap. OMG if he sounded sassy in Answer this is a whole new level and I LOVE IT. Flow is 100/10. The “are you gonna take me there” gives me chills. This song needs a dance this chorus is TOO LIT. Am I at a rave rn??? Oh thank God the bridge took it back a level. Ok I’m pausing because I think I caught some of the lyrics this time. If I’m not wrong I heard 난 궁금해 저 끝이 궁금해, 더 가까이 조금 더 가까이 ? Which is something like “I wonder, I wonder about the end. Closer, a little bit closer” if I heard correctly. I need to look up the lyrics in full later because Hongjoong has a big brain and his lyrics are always 🤯🤩 Ok unpause. Final breakdown! Yep this is going on repeat the rest of today. Jongho yussss with the ad libs. No it’s over ㅠㅠ Alright this one is already vying for top spot this album. We shall see. But I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. HONGJOONG GENIUS.

Um so yeah I saw them perform this live for their anniversary thingy and cried so this should be fun. At least I already know the song so how much can it hurt me? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Smart of whoever put this album together to stick this song right in the middle and make us cry between head banging to the other songs. Mingi in the beginning is just 💖💕💘💝💓 San ballad king. I need more ballads from him. Jongho, of course, with perfect vocal control. Oh Seonghwa too, I need more ballads from him. Wooyoung with T H A T part. A tear is forming, I just love this chorus. People are saying the song should be in a drama and I 100% agree. Everyone together FOREVER YOU ARE MY STARRR. The little drum frills it’s so cute :(( Yay Hongjoong, and his cute little voice I’m UWUWU. Wooyoung with the high note and I’m ascending........... Chorus again and this is the real meaning of crying in the club. It just occurred to me that the second verse seemed really short. Yeosang + Hongjoong + that guitar in the bridge is *chef’s kiss*. This is so emotional, do we really need to do this at 4am?!? I’m just gonna vibe for a sec, it’s the last chorus. The ad libs were so perfect and the way it ended— wow. I need a moment.

From my understanding this is a full version of the Precious Overture they gave us last album. Tempted to go back and see my first impressions about that one, but either way i have a distinct feeling my wig is about to be snatched. Let’s GOOO

So far, it’s starting the same. Creepy humming and all. Okay scratch that, we have a vocal melody. Yunho sounds great ugh I’m so proud. Sorry, San’s voice just takes me to another plane of existence or something, how can it be that smooth and gorgeous, someone please explain. Building to something now... Oo. OO?! Hongjoong’s rapping. This is so cool oh wow, and into this vocal part which I believe is the chorus?? wOW wow it’s amazing to hear this having already heard the bgm, this is like a new level of appreciation. It really all goes well. Ah we have a switch up now with Seonghwa. guys GUYS GUYS you know how I feel about switch ups. Sorry I’m going back to catch something. The tempo changed here and really grabbed my attention. The bass is also super cool, it’s actually the same melody as the treasure opening (and the opening of this song) but much lower, I believe. Uh oh guys this might be vying for top spot too. Let’s continue. Ok Mingi’s rap which I’ve already heard. Um I’m confused now. It’s Hongjoong’s rap again? Is this the chorus?? Woah woah hold on I gotta pause. Because. Wait, what?? This is the chorus??!? Yoooooooo bold move! I have no idea what is going on but I love it. Continuing on. Ah yeah ok the vocal part with Yeosang again, so I guess the rap + vocal part is the chorus? Also I neglected to mention but Yeosang is killing this song. Ooh okay this bridge is building some suspense. Feeeelingggggg.... And now a shouted version of the rap for the final chorus. Okay wow I’m impressed that they took it this direction. And Jongho with the ad libs is PERFECTIONNNN. Oop okay they’ve added the revised-lyric Treasure part to the end here. And the lyrics are the same as in Precious (Overture) so I’m guessing we still didn’t find the treasure, good grief. How long is it gonna take to find this treasure 😅. And it ended like that. Well. WOW. Again, I could listen to this on repeat all day. Again, I am deceased. Instant fave.

I’m pretty sure this is the exact same as I already heard on the trailer thingy but we are gonna react to it anyway.

The orchestra really loosens my tear ducts like nothing else. It’s beautiful, who else is doing it like them?? “Did you find your treasure?” Yes, I found ATEEZ 🥺. The way he says “finally found it” . This is Maddox btw. Also about Maddox, hang on I’m gonna pause for a PSA: guys if you don’t know Maddox please PLEASE check him out. He’s doing the amazing narration on this (and Intro too), he’s a soloist under KQ and one of Ateez’s hyungs who they look up to. In addition to his superior narrating talents, he is also an amazing vocalist. If you like R&B and lo-fi music I would definitely recommend him, he just dropped a single called Color Blind, his insta is xxmaddox, he’s a great guy and YEAH that’s all for my plug but go stan him, he is deserving and proof of the fact that KQ artists are talent through and through. Unpausing! The way the orchestra swells and then goes into a piratey sounding theme is so motivating and familiar :))) “Can you hear those voices?” HNGJRKSNDN WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SCARY. This is the Epilogue, it’s supposed to be like the denouement, the falling action!! The bad guys should be gone now! What’s next?? Treasure Ep: Answer to Question? Because that’s what I have after this album! More questions!!! Anyway, the bass here and the humming 👌🏻 100/10 for the instrumental. And in ATEEZ fashion, they leave me thirsting for more.

So that was my first impression/live reaction to the mini album! I think it’s Horizon and Precious fighting for #1 currently. Maybe I’ll reblog with second and third and fourth impressions... Thanks for reading if you got this far! And tell me what your first impressions were and if I missed something big while I was keysmashing. TTFN~

#ateez #ateez action to answer #ateez answer #ateez reactions #ateez first impressions #first impressions #keysmash #liveblog #tokki.txt

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

My stance on P5 (cause apparently I need to explain myself :/)

So someone just told me someone was vagueing about me on the confessions blog (can’t say my name cause it’s against the rules but they’ll try to get as specific as they can 🙃 if you have issues just be a real anon hater and send to my inbox directly you coward). And I’m not going to do a reblog to that post, because I’m pretty sure that person must be on my blog. Because the post they were vagueing me about was......not tagged.....in the P5 tagged (I did not tag it as P5 nor Persona 5), it was just a post that was on my blog (now if it showed up in the tag or search I dunno why but I didn’t tag it for P5 for a gd reason cause I keep it to my blog). The post was me pointing out how P5 when they first enter Futaba’s dungeon they didn’t have shoes on, but after the cutscene they DID. The post was more comical (with me getting salty in the tags, but then you’d have to go out of your way to read my tags). And tbh, I’m half and half, yeah I know it’s a nitpick, and I’d just chalk it up to an animation error and let it go usually, but it’s P5 and that game is already inconsistent with it’s plot/world building/characters/anything important that I’m like “nah I’mma rag on it cause it’s just one more thing they screwed up” so I’m like half let it go and half rag on it (fun fact, when I saw they didn’t have shoes on I was gonna make a post saying “hey look this is cool, nice attention to detail” and then they messed it up literally 2 seconds later so dklsjf;afa yeah). (oh and btw, it wasn’t just “one” character, it was the whole PT cast at the time 8U” at least get it right 8U)

But the thing is......that was just a post on my blog, I’m not me berating the P5 tag. So that means you, person who vagued me, tend to go on my PERSONAL BLOG. So like....why are you on here? No, don’t ask me about me and P5, I will answer that, but you answer why are you bothering looking at my personal blog? Is it cause of certain content I post? Then just blacklist certain tags (like my “silly plays” tag cause nothing really interesting happens in that tag, or my more negative “persona problems” type tags), I know I need to be better at tagging my asks, but if you like my original content then just.....go to the OG content tags (aka videos/pictures/edits/coloring)? That way you avoid anything not made by me? Or if you don’t have a reason and you’re just here to be mad cause someone doesn’t like your game, then block me. You don’t seem to like me, so just....why are you here? You seem to want to ask why I’m here with P5, and I have my reasons, but if you don’t have a reason to be on my blog then why are you on it?

I’m not saying this to be mean, but I don’t want to be policed, esp if someone is going to be hypocritical about it. And it’s annoying to see vaguing (cause imo you are as bad as someone who sends anon hate, but you don’t have the balls to just send it to me directly XP)

Ok now where’s my stance on P5? I don’t like it, but it’s a part of a larger series and lore which I do LOVE! Which means, considering I’m a LORE WHORE, it doesn’t feel right to just skip a game esp if it could contain info about the MegaTen/Persona lore (or even Character lore) I want to know. In fact, I really hate it when I’m talking lore with someone and if expanded info is brought up from a side game they are like “Oh I didn’t play that game so it’s not canon” No Bethany, just because YOU didn’t play a game doesn’t mean it’s not canon. And no, no one is bullying you over the fact you didn’t play it, you just don’t like being wrong and the person was like “Ok well it IS canon and it’s in the game, you don’t have to play it but you.....can’t ignore this fact, also why are you arguing this part of the lore when it’s heavily established in said game you ignored???? I mean you do you but don’t get mad when someone corrects you. No one’s forcing you to do anything.” Ahhhhrrrrgggh so many convos I’ve seen happen, I’m not going to be on the end that I hate. DX<

Also, P5 is not the entire Persona fandom, so while I put up with it and indulge in it by association, it doesn’t have the ownership of the fandom (like with all the original games+ spinoffs+all remakes/ports and P5S/P5R included, but not mobile games, it’s only 23% of all of Persona in terms of game entries, and that’s overlapping with crossover games, and if we included other stuff P5 is def a minor aspect in terms of entries). It’s not that hard, I’m just a bigger all around Persona fan than I am a Persona 5 critic (I don’t want to say hater, because it feels like it sounds like I’m hating it just to hate it, when really it was a game I was excited for and loved and then it just burned me bad and I’m just dealing with the scorn). Always keep in mind, I loved P5 before I hated it, it’s probably why I’m as salty about it as I am, because I love P5′s potential and....I was just let down (it wasn’t unrealistic expectations, like I said earlier, P5 contradicts itself.....all over the place, it’s hard to ignore and it’s not something that was as big of an issue, or even an issue at all, in other games). 

Why do I still post P5 stuff when I don’t like P5 (by which I mean...posting about the OG manga raws, or wanting to do a partial game to anime dub or even would be willing to help with editing a fandub for the anime)? Because I remember being a newbie Persona/Megaten fan, getting into the series, and wanting to know more about it and it’s side materials but then not being able to have access it any of it (because it was still prettty niche when I first joined and I had no money at the time). I want to give people access to it! Sure it’s harder for me to now to devote time to it (than it was a few years ago), but I want to help with giving access to this Persona/Megaten stuff now that I have some ability! And it also means P5 as well gets some of that love. 8U

As for why I was replaying P5, so this is one thing that’s making me wonder if you are a regular on my blog or not because I’ve been talking about playing the Korean version (but in my one post I forgot to type “silly plays P5/Persona 5 KOREAN” so yeah I forgot to specify Korean at the end). So tbh....I’m actually ignoring P5′s writing while I play (cause I’m just going through the gameplay motions), cause I don’t know korean. 8U And I’m mostly using that tag as a means to point out different things in the korean ver (no that much, but yes Ryu’s shoes ARE censored 8U). But why? Well.....I talk about it here and there but anon/person....1) I’m a trophy whore, I love plat trophies and P5′s is super easy I can get it (and I’m not above playing bad games, oh yeah burn, I’ve played a lot of bad games for plats, and I’ve also played the same games multiple times for plats, I do this to myself but really I don’t mind replaying P5 4+ times for 4+ plats esp since I don’t really have to pay attention). 2) I’m a big MegaTen/Persona collector, I want all the plats I can have (I plan on platting the other versions of the all the dancing games on Vita and PS4, P4G, and the versions of Catherine I don’t have, like I legit have a gd excel sheet keeping track of the versions of Megaten games I don’t have yet....I’m just doing P5 cause it’s 1) one of the easiest to do and 2) it was easier to get my hands on them atm). I don’t talk about my trophy hunting on here that much tbh, but that’s.....really a big reason why I’m doing it (plus with the Korean/CHinese ver I don’t have to pay attention to any story so it’s all good! :D) Yeah I do it to myself, but I don’t really mind. 8U And I mean I tend to keep most of my P5 issue on my blog too. I think the only two posts that I put in the P5 tag were 1) a few consistency issues I wanted to meme about (aka the I’m about to head out post, which was actually the 2nd post I made on that topic but I decided to just meme that one, so I thought it was better than me just bitching, at least I tried to make it a bit funny yet informational 8U), and 2) something that I tbh had an issue since I back when I liked P5 (aka wishing they worked on speeding up the loading times and the fast forward feature), so since I was playing the game I was like “That reminds me, man I hope they fix this in the re-release!”. As for english P5, the only reason I’ll be playing P5 OG in english is for either archiving reasons or research reasons (probably both at once so I don’t have to play through it more than once again).

As for P5R, uhhhhh I’m excited for Kasumi (Jose is cool too, and the new dungeon has me interested too, and all the P2 demons coming back to it makes me wonder what else is/if anything is coming back), she’s my main draw. Yeah it’s connected to P5R, but she looks so much like Hamuko I JUST HAVE TO KNOW WHAT’S UP WITH HER! Hamuko’s my girl, and I need to know if Atlus is going to do something with that, or if I need to be pissed for them literally lifting Hamu’s face! Am I gonna get pissy about P5R’s new add-ons (aka, I’m aware that P5R is probably going to keep the issues from OG P5, so I’mma just judge P5R based on it’s new content)? Yeah, if they kept up the same writing P5 OG had. So yeah, I’m probably going to get pissy if they eff it up, but I’m not going in pissy, going in with really low expectations tbh, but I’m giving it a chance. But if they don’t eff up the new stuff then......that’s good! It means they did something right. So far Kasumi is not Marie so we’re off to a good start. I’m hoping the keep that momentum. 8U

So yeah, I think I have valid reasons for staying, maybe you don’t like it anon/person, but they are there. 

tldr; someone feels like the need to police me despite the fact they could just ignore me (even tho it seems like they specifically came to my blog to get mad, rather than me clogging up the tag, like I post there maybe once or twice every 2 months). My stance on P5 is that I deal with it cause it’s part of a bigger fandom I’m a part of and the fact I love the lore of that bigger fandom so it’s not like I can ignore it. I also have a Playstation trophy problem. 8U And I’m excited for Kasumi is that so bad???? (also I didn’t mention it, but Anne/Haru are enough to keep me around 8U)

#silly talks #i'm actually on my last 3 trophies for korean so after that i"m going to chinese #I don't mind the new teacher #not my main draw but I'll give him a shot #also mementos mission is a good manga to read #not canon and still perpetuates issues with mako's character #and the fact that those guys totally gave that one shadow a mental shutdown i'm not letting that go (esp since if they did that'd be so #INTERESTING please dont' let that go to waste mangaka ;w;) #but the mystery is really fun and I like it #i really need to post those raws tho #fdklsajf;lakjfl;a i just....oh man......it's a lot #it's easy to find me and look at my trophies #i have 151 plats yeah I have issues #getting plats is fun ok???? :w; #but yeah I'll try to get working on the P5 OG raws #i love anne and haru ok???? #sure I have issues with their writing but I just really like them still

[peeterparkr]

pretty woman iv|t.h.

collaboration with @marvelousxtsh  and @misformarvel my girls ♡  here’s the next one, enjoy.

a/n: Okay so the exciting part is finally arriving, you know, you might wana watch the movie and listen to the song NON-STOP, btw, just as you’re finishing the chapter press play to this song ;)  

series masterlist- i. ii. iii. iv. v.

after breaking up with your boyfriend, losing your job and barely hanging on to any hope, Hollywood’s sweetheart bachelor party might be the easiest way to get money.

summary: a series of ‘one on one’s

warnings: language, mentions of addiction, fake marriage

paring: tom x reader

word count: 3.8k

our masterlists: marcia | melanie | nancy

Comments & reblogs are appreciated. Be kind.

It was a hard night, the hardest they had in a long time. Amber fell asleep on his shoulder in the drive back to her home. Tom was tired but still shaken by the adverse events of the night. He contemplated the city, from the slum area they were at to the magnificent condo, where his fiancée lived. Tom remembered his talk with Y/N earlier, and he felt guilty to think he was the most miserable being on earth. Maybe love doesn’t exist and what we have is the nearest thing to it. His proposal came back to his mind, he could have done it so much better. He could have tried, at least, to make it better. Now he was asking for a miracle to release him from this absurd charade, which almost happened that night. He would never forgive himself if something happened to Amber. He could not bear to lose her.  

The driver opened the door for them. Tom lifted Amber in his arms, bridal style. She looked peaceful and fragile. For a moment he saw Amber the way the world did, and he didn't like it. Amber wasn't like that at all, she was a thunderstorm. He wanted to hear her laugh cracking the uncomfortable silence. Maybe love didn’t exist, and this was the nearest he would be from it.

Amber woke up as soon as he placed her under her bedsheets. “I don’t deserve you, schatzy” she muttered, her eyelids still heavy.

“You know that’s not true” Tom smirked, sitting on the bedside table. “You’ve been beside a hospital bed day and night for weeks if that’s not enough to deserve this.”

“I did it for me, I needed a quiet place to read my scripts," she giggled tiredly. “It was the least I could do for you, Tom. It was my fault”.

“Well, you encouraged me to do that stunt, but I was the one doing it without following the instructions” Tom grabbed her hand.

“You broke your back Thomas, you could’ve died, or worst, become a veggie.”

“Amber!” Tom stopped her. “I’d stay, but I have to change, and pick up my family from the airport, so promise me you’re gonna rest and you’re not gonna do something stupid.”

“Pinky promise, nothing stupid. At least not today” she smiled, throwing him a kiss. Tom turned the lights off and left the apartment. It was a long night and the next day was going to be longer and harder.

-

“Care to explain yourself, Y/N?” Cassie was waiting for them in their living room with her legs crossed as they entered the room. Her frown was furrowed, and her chest was covered by her arms. She was wearing her blue dress, and the red lipstick was still on. Her cold stare made Y/N uncomfortable as they strolled down to her. Maddie was carrying the red dress, as her friend watched them intently.

Y/N was wearing the sweatshirt she had borrowed from Diego. “I’m sorry, I was trying to save Mad’s friend.”

“I don’t fucking care. Look, we had a deal, you had to behave, right? And what did you do? Blow a fucking client up?” Cassie’s sharp voice was full of poison, making Y/N step back.

“Do you know how mad Senator Warren was? You ditched him and cost me a big client! All so you could have what? A fucking fairytale with Tom Holland and bang him afterwards?”

“I didn’t bang-”

“Of course you didn’t, you left. Where did you even go?” Cassie asked, and before Y/N could even answer Cassie shook her head. “You know what? I get all of this for you and then you back away the first minute. Get out, Y/N. Get out of my house.”

“No, Cassie-”

“Do you know how much money you cost me tonight?” Cassie retorted.

“Cassie-” Madeline stepped in, but Cassie was quick to shut her up.

“No, Madeline. You don’t fucking understand, because you guys got paid by Amber and me? I didn’t get anything, so whatever Amber paid for her, I get the money.”

“Well okay…”

“But I meant it, get out of my house.”

-

The ride from LAX to the hotel was eternal. Tom had a terrible headache and his parents hadn't quit talking since he picked them the airport. His mom was really excited about the wedding. He felt terrible.

The twins knew the truth about him and Amber, but Tom couldn’t tell his parents and little brother about it. They were convinced of his happiness and were very fond of Amber. Maybe that was one of the reasons Tom thought marrying her was a good idea. It made sense for everyone else, they looked perfect together.

“I can’t believe the big day is almost here” Nikki pressed his hand, showing her excitement. “Time flies. It’s like we met Amber yesterday, and she’s becoming a Holland in about three days.” Tom nervously laughed and kept driving with the last image of Amber he had in his head; passed out, laying on a stranger’s bathtub.

Tom booked rooms for his family at the same hotel he was staying in. What a marvelous idea you dick, he told to himself remembering the mocking glances of the staff when they saw Y/N walking beside him. Those glances would be on his parents now, on Amber. He did nothing, but guilt was there, ready to torture him for a while.

Haz and the twins received them with big smiles and long hugs.

“Where’s Amber?” Nikki asked right after she finished squeezing her sons. Sam panicked, and Harry tried to hide a smug grin. Before they could come up with something, Haz invented an acceptable excuse.

“My bad, I should’ve told you before but didn’t want to ruin this moment for you all. Amber called me, she tried to reach Tom, but you know the lack of signal at the airport. She’s kinda sick, so she stayed at home. She's fine now though, says it’s just a stomach bug.”

“Stomach bug, huh?” Nikki said in a suspicious tone “this isn’t a weird way to tell me I’m becoming a nan, is it?”

Tom's eyes went wide open, the twins could barely contain their laughs. “Actually, we grabbed some street food last night, and it was a terrible idea. But you know she’s more delicate than I am so poor Amber, I should probably go to see her” he tried to complete Harrison’s version. “You should check-in and go get some rest. I’m sure you need it after so many hours flying.”

The twins stayed with the rest of the family, Tom and Haz made their way up to Tom’s car. Haz was the one to break the silence.

“You still got time to cancel this whole thing. You know that?”

“Don’t fuck with me now, Haz. I’m not in the mood,” Tom snapped.

“Tom, you’re going to get married, this is nothing like accepting a role in a movie,” Haz warned his friend with pity. “It’s an actual fucking marriage, this is your life.” He knew that sugar-coating the thing wasn’t going to help at all.

“Yeah, and exactly because it’s my life I can decide to do it,” Tom retorted, Haz knew better. His friend didn’t want to do this. And the whole bullshit farce had come too far. Yes, to say they were dating was no damage, but marrying her, giving away his life to every single producer just to get himself the lead parts wasn’t exactly the guy Harrison knew. Tom had lost his essence.

“You don’t love her, you shouldn’t be marrying someone you don’t love,” said Harrison, trying then to convince him with the feelings and not with the life card, he didn’t know what card to pull anymore.

“Lots of people do that, love is bullshit anyway,” Tom shrugged.

“That's cause you haven't found it,” Harrison tried to convince his friend.

“Ah, piss off, Haz,” Tom rolled his eyes and cackled cynically. “Don't pull that kind of crap.”

“Okay, well let’s get real,” Harrison crossed his arms “I know for a fact you shouldn't get married, and Amber? Fucking Amber Healy? Are you willing to put on with all her crap? Just last night you had to look up for someone to get her out of an overdose.”

“She’ll change,” Tom looked away.

“You know that she won’t,” Haz stated.

“It’ll make me look good if I marry her. People want me to marry her,” Tom gritted his teeth.

“But do you, Thomas, do you want to marry her?” Harrison asked.

“Yes,” he hesitated.

“Bull,” Haz took a deep breath. “SHIT.”

“I can’t do anything right now, it’d kill my career if I backed away today,” explained Tom, “and I can't do that to Amber, and besides you’re not helping with this.”

“I’m your bloody best friend, and I can see that you’re unhappy and you’re ruining your life. Harry and Sam think so, too.”

“Well, I’ve already made my decision. I can’t cancel it now,” Tom shrugged, “I owe her don’t you think?”

“What she did for you is no reason to marry her. Don’t get me wrong, I love her, she’s awesome, and as a friend, she’s amazing, but she’s no wife material, she won’t make you happy.”

“Well, at least I’ll have you there,” Tom threw his hands in the air in defeat.

“Not for too long, and you know that Tom,” Haz shrugged.

-

Amber was texting in the back of her car, wearing big sunglasses to cover the big dark circles around her eyes, she had a bottle of water and was drinking some pills to cease a headache the hungover had given her. She was tapping her foot nervously as she approached the place she had been in last night. Just a few days until the wedding, and there were still a lot of things to do, and she couldn’t care any less.

It was all a farce, and it bothered her, not because of Tom, no. She loved him. But she was tired of showing her charming facade to the cameras and audiences. Giving away her perfect life and hiding her true feelings, her roots. It was impossible to keep it a secret, and without Tom, her career would’ve been ruined by now. Because, of course, someone who looked at her expected her to be what she was, an actress part of the infamous Taylor Swift squad, and every teenage girl’s role model. If only they knew. Such a mess she was, and she wasn’t proud of it, but she kept living her life as if nobody was watching because nobody was.

The latin neighborhood looked better in the morning, but it showed the true colors of the place. Amber’s gut gurgled up as she looked out to the small houses.

The place where she had made Tom go. It wasn’t fair to Tom. He deserved much better than her, and it made her feel guilty. She always wanted to make it up to him but ended up screwing up, just like last night. He couldn’t catch a break.

She arrived at the blue house and just stared at it, barely remembering what had happened. “Okay,  Alton,” Amber said to her driver and bodyguard. “It won’t take me long, but if anything happens I’ll scream or something.” she patted his back as she slid off the car.  She rang the doorbell.

“Voy (I’m coming),” the voice answered, Amber, waited up. Diego opened the door, confused to see that Amber Healy was standing right in front of him again in less than 24 hours. He was wearing a blue outfit, Amber assumed he was a nurse. “Oh.”

“Hello,” Amber greeted him and walked past him, without asking for his permission to go in. Diego stared at her and glanced at the car but then closed the door. He cursed internally, Y/N and her troubles chasing him down again and again.

“Miss Healey, this isn’t a good idea. I told you and your friends last night, but it seems like I haven’t been clear enough. This neighborhood is filled with people desperate to make some bucks, and this is Los Angeles, how long do you think it’ll take the press to post pictures of you entering my house?”

“They probably are looking up for me on the other side of the city, expecting to see me in my wedding dress, I think we’re good, and I’m gonna be quick,” Amber said. “You saved my life, and I’m getting married in about three days. You may think I’m a kook or something like that, but I really want you to come to the wedding.”

“What?” Diego laughed, thinking about how bizarre it all was. He saved Amber Healey from an overdose, who was brought by his ex, who was a prostitute now and probably hooked up with the actress’ husband to be. “I guess Y/N’s invited too” he added jokingly.

“Well, her friend Madeline’s coming. If you want I can invite her too and then you can make a move to gain her back since you’re obviously still not over her” Amber giggled and pointed at the framed pictures of the formerly happy couple.

Diego cleared his throat. “Qué? (what?) I’ve been meaning to unhang them, but I never have the time,” he explained embarrassed. “However, I’ll have to decline your offer.”

“Okay” Amber sighed and made a dramatic pause “Time to be honest, I guess. The thing is I did some research today, and I know you work with people who have this, how to say it? Inclination.”

“Now I’m really confused. Did you stalk me?” Diego frowned.

“I’m sorry, but after what you did for me I really trust you. I tend to overstep, but I really need your help. I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to do this to Tom anymore”. She looked down and started bouncing one of her legs, clearly nervous. Diego recognized all of those gestures, she was asking for help with and without words. She was crumbling, and she wanted it to stop. But not for herself, she did it for Tom.

“Look, Amber. I can help you, but you have to do this for yourself, not for him, you don’t owe him anything,” Diego’s voice was soft. “You can’t be forced to do this.”

“I’m not being forced,” Amber shook her head, “I want to do this because I don’t want him to put with all of my crap.”

“Linda (pretty), if he’s marrying you he’ll kinda have to. And you’ll have to deal with his shit too. If you’re not willing to, well, bad news. That’s what happened to the couple in those pictures.”

“When you love somebody you’re willing to change for them,” Amber said. Perhaps she didn’t love Tom the way she was supposed to, but she did like him, and she wanted him to be happy with her.

Diego, oblivious of the true nature of Tom and Amber’s relationship, felt so sorry about the girl in front of him. He saw Tom as some Hollywood dude, and after seeing him coming along with Maddie and Y/N, and his girlfriend in such state, Diego saw Tom as a dickhead.

“I’ll help you girl, but I’m not coming to the wedding, I mean, how weird would that be.”

“Are you kidding me? If you’re helping me you need to come to the wedding, I need to start the day of the wedding.” Diego frowned and she did her “duh” face.

“Do you even need me there? If anything happens I’ll go or-”

“I need someone to stop me.”

“Can’t Tom do that?” Diego scowled. Her fiance wasn’t helping her. Apparently, Tom had been too busy banging Diego’s ex to pay attention to Amber.

“He’ll be too busy covering me up, and speaking with everyone,” Amber hissed. “Look, maybe you’ll hook up with someone nice. I don’t know, who do you fancy? They’ll probably be there.”

“You know what, I admire your totally out of the place type of humor” he grinned. “I’m coming to your wedding, and I’m keeping you sober.” Amber smiled “Then we’ll talk about Elizabeth Olsen,” he joked.

“Well, here’s your invite,” Amber handed it over. “Now I better leave, have to try my wedding dress.”

Amber was determined to change and convinced that this handsome latino was the one to help her. She liked him as much as Maddie and Tom, and Haz, and the twins. They all had something in common, they seemed to care about her.

She made her way back to the car with a grin on her face. Her phone started to ring as soon as she sat in the back seat. “Yes?”

“Amber?” Madeline’s voice sounded through the speaker.

“Hey, hübsch,” Amber grinned. “I thought I’d never hear from you again, what can I do for you?”

“I’m glad you asked, I do need a favor” she replied in a shaky tone. "I'm sure you remember Y/N, my friend."

“Well yeah, I was drunk but no that drunk,” she laughed.

 “Sweetheart, you passed out,” Maddie chuckled and then cleared her throat, “anyway, she needs some help, and I was hoping you'd give it to her. If it's not too much to ask, of course.

“Define help,” Amber requested. “If it’s got anything to do with Tom, I’m afraid-”

“No, no, it’s more complicated than that,” Maddie didn’t sound as cheerful as Amber was used to. “You see, I’m afraid… Look, last night was her first night with us, with Cassie and I, and she blew away one of Cassie’s long-term clients...”

“Oh, her first time, and girl scored no other than Tom fucking Holland, lucky bastard,” Amber laughed.

“Ambs,” Maddie’s voice was cold. “Cassie kicked her out of our place.”

Amber took a deep breath. “Where do I fit into this?”

“She’s going over to Diego’s place, but honestly, she needs to get out of there. I just don’t want her to return to that life, you see, Diego is just too busy with all his medical school thing, and he’s an asshole, and he’s super controlling-”

“You don’t like him,” Amber said because there was nothing wrong with him. What Amber had seen, Diego was a guy who didn’t know what to do anymore with his relationship. Maddie just had something against with him.

“No, I don’t. Look, he may not be that bad, but ugh, I just don’t want Y/N to be with him anymore, and-”

“I’ll take care of her, be her fairy godmother. Let’s give this Cinderella a fairytale” Amber chuckled. “Do you have any idea where she might be?”

“She took a cab so she might be arriving at Diego’s place in any minute,” Maddie said.

“I’ll see what I can do,” Amber hung up and asked her driver to go back to Diego’s place, just in time to see a broken and crying Y/N getting out of the car.

-

Haz and Tom were waiting at Amber’s house. Haz sitting down in the living room as Tom helped himself out in the kitchen, unsteady as he realized Amber was not in her place, the places she could have gone had Tom feeling uneasy. So he was pouring himself an orange juice as he walked from one place to another, trying to calm himself down.

“And you still wanna marry her,” Haz muttered, rolling his eyes. Tom was cracking his knuckles, worriedly. “Okay, Tom-” Haz tried to get his attention, “Tom! Please, can you chill? She probably went out for some breakfast.”

She hadn’t answered the phone, and Tom was dying. What if she had passed out in the middle of somewhere? Or what if she was lost?

“Wasn’t she going to try her wedding dress today?” Haz asked in an attempt to calm him, it worked. Tom stopped and glanced at his best friend, he was right. She was going to try it, that was it.

“Oh, right,” Tom sat down on the floor. “Sorry, I freaked out.”

“And you guys haven’t even married. Anyway, in other news and crazy nights with crazy girls, you left with one last night, huh?”

Tom cleared his throat, his face turning red with embarrassment. “It’s not what it looked like.”

“Uh-huh,” Harrison smirked. “She looked pretty. Such a pretty woman you left with, honestly.”

“I wasn’t the one receiving a lap dance,” Tom reminded him. “But, no, I actually saved her.”

“Such a prince charming,” Harrison laughed, teasing his friend. Tom rolled his eyes.

“It was her first time, and she didn’t want to be there. Then this old filthy senator tried to take advantage of her and well, I took her out.”

“And?” Harrison raised his eyebrows.

“And we went to McDonald's, and then we just talked,” Tom shrugged. “She was scared, she’s had a tough life.”

“Did you like her?” Harrison was being constant with the questions, trying to poke Tom’s nerves.

“I only spent a few hours with her, man. I wouldn’t be able to know, I mean-”

“Ah, you liked her,” Harrison stated. “You should’ve made a move.”

“I didn’t, because I don’t like her and because, if you can’t remember, I’m getting married in three bloody days,” Tom scowled.

“Yes, you’re getting married in three days with someone you don’t love,” Haz insisted. “Look, mate, I’m not telling you this to annoy you, I’m not being shady, I’m concerned about you. And I do care about Amber too. And she’s got a problem, Tom, she has to face it, and this whole fake marriage thing is not helping.”

“So what you’re saying is I should look up for someone who I do love?” Tom frowned.

“I don’t know, might help you, you’ve been so moody these days, you need to at least get laid, man,” Harrison spoofed. “And we both know you’re not getting some at your wedding night."

“Do you even hear yourself?” Tom was getting pissed.

“See! So bloody moody and edgy,” Harrison laughed. “Look, man, I’m just saying, at least you need a diversion, maybe that girl from last night could help.”

“And how would I even contact her again?” Tom scowled.

Before Harrison could come up with an answer the door was opened, with Amber waddling and clicking her heels, she looked up from her phone and smirked.

“Hello, Schatzy,” she grinned. “Harrison, hey,” Amber hadn’t closed the door behind her, and Alton walked in with a pair of dirty suitcases.

“Amber, where were you?” Asked Tom, worried.

“I was getting you a new assistant, schatzy!” She squeaked, as she turned to the door. Y/N walked in.

tag list (ask) <-If you’re using this one please specify it’s for Pretty Woman

#pretty woman #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland imagine #tom holland x y/n

[rogueshipagogo]

god i reblogged that post abt being harsher on men that go after teenage girls earlier and ive been thinking abt this shit all day i gotta make a post abt it so i can stop holding onto these thoughts. lmfao this is what happens when u dont have a vent blog lmao wont be too intense but tw i guess anyways, literally nobody is obligated to read this ever

so i pretty much drifted away from all my high school friends and everyone who knew me irl before ~2012 bc i just couldnt stand the idea of going back to face all of those people and know that they just watched me spend 6 years, since i was 14 years old, in explicit and serious long term romantic and sexual relationships with men over 18, over 20, over 21, and never once Say anything abt it, who were in the same boat of supporting it with me; like i know that I could have been the one to be like ‘no, that was wrong, what just happened to me, all that time you, my peers, could have known better and done better by me,’ but also the idea of doing that was so like..... Shameful??? i couldnt go back to being ignorant of what had been done to me but i also couldnt be their example and their lesson. like my entire lifes meaning up until that point was to be the one time main character of a very special episode of a sitcom about high school girls going out with college boys. i didnt want to have to be the one to start that conversation and have everyone either not get it, or just scream at me for falling for it, or treat me like i was being silly, i had always been supportive of my partners despite them being pedophiles, like it was Out Of Character for me, Juliet Capulet, to suddenly start caring when little girls date 20 year olds. i think that was the scariest possibility. it was easier to let that version of me just die, and all of my friendships i had made since 6th grade with it

but a few months ago i agreed to meet up with one of my old best friends again, someone i’d known since i was 12 and who was there the whole time and had met my ex, the adult man, a few times (we were already kinda drifting apart by that time anyways but still hung out infrequently)

and it was honestly mostly fine but at one point she asked me if i was still with him and i had to be like ‘no, he moved out 5 years ago’ (feels good to say that!!) and she literally was like 

‘awwwww how come? you had been together for so long ):’

and i just had to be         like                 ‘oh you know it happens haha!!! we just fell out of love i guess :3′

but i was just like. she’s literally been married and had a child since we stopped talking btw so like she’s very much a mature responsible adult woman now. and that was her reaction. ??????????? it was literally the reaction i was willing to cut her out of my life for 7 years because i was so afraid of and she fucking went for it. like.... i guess it just makes me proud of myself. because i’ve come so far and some people haven’t. and might not ever. even people i loved. even witnesses. even mothers and wives. and when i sit here and think ‘oh all i do is, sit here, and be an sjw, i’ve never had a real job or a car or a family or gone to college’, i just have to remind myself that emotional work, the work that goes into ComPleTely reinventing your entire worldview and the kind of shit you’re willing to put up with from society and your peers and your loved ones, is just as valid and just as tangible and deserves just as much recognition. still not very motivated to try getting back in contact with her or anyone else from my old friendgroup tho for a while lmfao sorry lads

edit: i didnt want to make another post just to say this but lmfao i looked at the post i reblogged abt this topic earlier today that made me think abt this again and im losing my mind at how ‘transparently fucking pathetic and selfish and utterly undesirable and know that women w more life experience will recognise those things about them immediately‘ could and should be engraved on my exes tombstone

#long post / #dont worry i'll push this off ur dash in a jiffy

[tiredbiplantlady]

I say “you” and mean it generally, not a specific person, btw.

It’s possible to acknowledge the bad things someone does and still agree with other things. You just have to decide on a personal level whether that means you choose to boycott sharing (tumblr/fb) even the things you agree with, or if you acknowledge the bad and share with that disclaimer. I don’t think it’s good to live in a black-and-white world where someone is an evil bad person for just sharing something another person doesn’t like. It’s important to be aware of things, but this “you either share from this source and you’re a piece of shit or you stop and boycott them like me, which makes you a good person” mentality is damaging and honestly pretentious as fuck. To pretend like you don’t excuse the behaviors of others when it’s convenient for you and you personally decide that their good outweighs their bad is a lie. Everyone does this and there is no such thing as ideological purity. If every time you found out some problematic or bad thing someone did or something had in it, you’d have nothing left to like. 

For example, I saw earlier someone telling people to stop watching TYT for X and Y reasons. great, we need to know those things, but that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to agree with other things they produce. It doesn’t mean you have to boycott them. 

For example as wel, Laverne Cox supported a child rapist/murderer who brutally killed and raped a little girl and sexually offended females, who, in prison was transitioning and wanted to be in a women’s prison. She never really apologized for it, and mainly said she was sorry she didn’t look into it more, but said nothing to the girl’s family or anything else like it. Does that mean any of ya’ll boycott her? No, quite the opposite honestly. You consider her a good person and her good outweighs her bad to you. Am i criticizing you for that? No people like the things they like and like the people they like. What i am criticizing is the hypocrisy around this and that the things certain groups deem acceptable are okay but for other stuff you're bad wrong and a horrible person, Not A Real ___(fill in the blank). Everyone does this and to pretend your stuff is okay while others isnt even if they've analyzed and understand the flaws is so hypocritical. I watch tumblr transactivists threatening to rape women all the time, and yet you say they’re justified in doing so. I can give you the receipts if you’re really that mad at me for telling the truth that this happens. These people are people you support regardless because to you, their good outweighs their bad, even if you see the evidence that they sent rape threats to women. 

So stop pretending like everybody but you is making exceptions for people’s behavior if they acknowledge the bad and still feel the good is greater. Stop shaming people for doing exactly what you do, but not doing it YOUR way. Everybody makes excuses for some people to some extent and you are not high and mighty above everyone else because the people around you tend to echochamber/reinforce you. Just because I acknowledge the bad my “Problematic Faves” or sources I look to have done doesn’t mean I need to boycott, renounce, and consider them evil lest I be struck down and considered evil by proxy. It’s honestly a liberal “politically correct” version of 1984 thoughtcrime, guilt by association and I don’t have any fucking tolerance for that shit. 

I reblog from radical feminists and I agree with a lot of what certain radfems say. I am a loving and caring person who believes in individual rights, but I am also critical and look that things from a social level - nothing we do is above criticism and that doesn’t mean it’s personal. My friends know me to be a validating and concerned person. I got put on a TERF list several months ago for saying that gender is a social construct among other things. Does that mean all of you are going to stop being my friend because someone who doesn’t even know me accuses me of something that on tumblr is considered atrocious, comparable to Neo Nazis, and worthy of doxing, harassment and worse? I got called a TERF, so I’m guilty on the spot and all my friends, if they’re good and decent people, so tumblr/certain feminists say, should unfollow, block and tell everyone to stay away from me because I’m violent and dangerous. So they all say. So they all tell you without you ever having known a so called “TERF” individually. Someone calls someone a TERF and you condemn immediately. 

People know me. People know I have listened to their pain and been empathetic and helpful. That goes against everything they ever told you a “”TERF”” is. What do you believe. What do you do when the evidence you have about an accused TERF contradicts everything you were told a so-called TERF is. This is case in point about this entire concept. Because I’ve been accused of this, am I somehow devoid of the empathy and concern I have repeatedly shown people? Am I a monster unworthy of love? Of being listened to? My entire academic and personal background suddenly null and void? My love and protectiveness means nothing? Are you Problematiq from associating with me? From merely seeing my name flash up on your facebook or tumblr? Are you going to be pressured to unfollow and unfriend me, cut me off and ignore me, maybe tell all your other friends to stop being friends with me too because I got accused of being a TERF? Is my label the one your social group pressures you to hate, but the things your idols have done left ignored and uncriticized? I’m sorry things are like this. The cult-like social pressure to conform and hate all the same people, excuse and love all the same others is sad. You’re allowed to like whoever you like and like the things that you do. It’s important to criticize and point things out, but that doesn’t mean you have to bury it and give it all your poison. It doesn’t mean other people are guilty for liking it even when they understand the flaws in the face of ideology. 

I have been terrified of this moment and I’m saying it anyway. I’m tired of not saying what I think and wondering if people who know me would suddenly hate me based on accusations of my supposed evil, hatred, and death-wishes, of which I possess none. I got called a TERF and I am none of the things they said I would be that threaten others’ existence, worthy of blocking and “staying safe from”. 

Knowing this, it’s up to you now to decide what you want to do. I won’t hate you for detaching from me, but it’ll be sad day. I wish everyone all the best. I’m so tired of not talking about this. I will no longer not speak my mind. It’s being disingenuous to the people who supposedly love me. I will be myself and you can decide whether you still want to be friends with me or not. I love people and their right to exist and do the best things for themselves, but that doesn’t mean social constructs and social patterns, trends, and evolutions are above talking about in a scientific, sociological impersonal critical way. It doesn’t mean hypocrisy and non-logic, nonsensical ideas shouldn’t and can’t be pointed out in respectful way. 

No matter what, please be well and live with love where ever life takes you. 

#meandmine #let's have a conversation #but if not i wish you well