#if i had a nickel for everytime etc etc

[archduchessofnowhere]

Insane part of Helene's lore is that there had been rumors at the beginning of 1853 that Napoleon III wanted to marry her? From the Neue Passauer Zeitung:

From Munich, 13 Jan, one writes to the ‘Fstr. Postztg.’ As several papers from Paris recently reported that the Emperor intended to marry a Bavarian princess, which could only mean the Duchess Helene, the eldest daughter of Duke Max in Bavaria, born on 4 April 1834, it caused quite a stir that this princess danced the first tour, namely the polonaise with the French envoy, at the court ball last night. Whether the above news deserves some credence, however, we will leave for the time being.

About a week later Napoleon announced his engagement to Eugenia de Montijo, so the news indeed didn't deserve much credence after all.

#helene dodged the bullet of becoming an empress in 1853 TWICE jjgkgk #if i had a nickel for everytime etc etc #helene in bavaria hereditary princess of thurn und taxis #napoleon iii

[catboyrichardkarinsky]

My mom 🤝 Noah

Implying Chip Zien isn't that hot today

#if i had a nickel for everytime etc etc

[ramonapest]

taylor sure sings a lot about curves for someone who’s never been to college

#i guess since she’s a doctor now she’s gotta relate to her peers #just the fact that she’s mentioned them twice is so funny to me #if i had a nickel for everytime etc etc #ts

[francy-sketches]

that thing people do where they write essays and post book quotes to prove how hot their favorite fictional little girl of choice is but it's me pulling out receipts of everytime joffrey and tommen are described with long beautiful curls bc someone said they 'canonically have fuckass bobs' and I'm drawing them wrong

#.txt #funniest vague of all time actually. I love the effort to make it customized. throw my meowmeows in there. unfortunately it is inaccurate ☝ #'but in the canon art-' only the books are canon actually 🤓 #WHAT canon art girl they're all inconsistent. oh no jaime was drawn with straight hair once guess he doesn't have curls anymore #over the costume tweet btw. still #someone convinced that I was bashing artists clapping back by. bashing my art. if I had a nickel for everytime that happened i'd have 2 etc #also said smth about how I can't draw the targs in byzantine fashion bc they reigned for 280 years. what #'ugh stop telling people what to draw 🙄 anyway tudor targs are in the True Canon art so they're the Correct interpretation' #not even fully true btw bc the 'canon art' also has them in medieval/vague fantasy fashion. it's really not consisntent #I never even brought up canon. or what people should draw in their fanart girl that was all YOU lmao #and to be wrong about it on top of that. embarassingggg #vagueing again sorry throw me in posting jail. but like they vagued first let me petty

[feldsparite]

guy who's universal constants are: 1) shit father 2) widowed 3) dramatic little bitch

#ml paris special #ml paris #betterfly #gabriel agreste #if i had a nickel for everytime a 40y/o widow was the only superhero amidst a group of teens etc. #i'm so ashamed. gabriel's so awful i love him #miraculous ladybug

[soo-won]

(katsura voice) worry not gintoki...i'm also gay and a terrorist and im here to tell you that takasugi is just a freak

#my summary of benizakura hen #katsura being part of that one thing (ykwim) during the war is so important #bc wo him you could easily diminize takasugi's motivations to that event #and sure it is bc of that but also katsura went through the same thing and is so normal about it. compared to takasugi #like takasugi just has a lot of issues #gintama is all about different responses to the same trauma and i love that <3 #also a seiyuu joke ig. if i had a nickel for everytime a koyasu role was like this etc etc #gintama

[hershelwidget]

jester yaoi: the prequel

I like to imagine that the Powerhouse NPCs meet up regularly and it’s super casual despite their histories and roles in the story. and every like second meeting or so Theatre does something particularly strange that everyone’s normally tolerant of until one day he straight up brings Dimentio and THATS the last straw

#you know my aus are getting out of hand when Dimentio becomes part of their canon #no like im serious dimentip became part of tboci’s canon and that’s part the reason i cant take that one seriously anymore #im not saying he’s CANON canon to this one but Chaos Route exists. thats all im sayin #hershel’s octonauts au #dimentio #eh ill tag for jarvis as well. hey bestie #the octopod #if i had a nickel for everytime i made a crackship involving dimentio i’d lose track of my savings #i need to Stop but he’s so. crackable #also there is a REALLY beautiful level of irony when you look at their respective characters/motives/etc #im not going to get into it right now but tldr the funniest part is theatre is committing dangerously hard to this bit

[apotelesmaa]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again the cutscene after lady lucktopus where Hollis actually gets down on raz’s level to speak with him when before that she’s always been talking down to him literally and figuratively is so good. Genuinely one of the top moments in the entire game.

#psychonauts #such a good fucking game man. if I had a nickel for everytime a story about a young psychic kid made me genuinely emotional I would have #2 nickels etc etc. #really hard to pick a favorite serious scene from that game but if I had to pick a funniest scene #that would go to ‘lili beats the shit out of gristol malik’ which is hysterical and lives in my head rent free #i think the best endorsement I can give of this game is I hate platforming games but psychonauts 2 is probably in my top 5 games of all time

[boyfriendyke]

also i still cant fucking believe they took elendira's transfem swag. literally what the fuck did they do to her

#if i had a nickel for everytime a cool independent badass female character i like was portrayed as a literal child etc etc #the second nickel is cuz of live action holly short btw #they FUCKING took her TRANSFEM SWAG i cant do this #jc.txt #trigun #tristamp is soooo

[talesfromthecrypts]

Good news for once, Almodovar is making his "answer to Brokeback Mountain" with a Western in which Ethan Hawke plays a sheriff named Jake, while Pedro Pascal will be the gunslinger Silva, and the characters live on opposing sides of the desert. The pair haven’t seen each other in 25 years. “So one of them travels through the desert to find the other,” Almodóvar said. “There will be a showdown between them, but really the story is very intimate.” Source: https://www.indiewire.com/2022/06/pedro-almodovar-western-ethan-hawke-pedro-pascal-1234737020/

I am. Excited.

The Gay Cowboy Lovers to Enemies Film That's Taking Tumblr By Storm

Very good very excellent. Ethan take your shirt off again!

#meduseld #if i had a nickel for everytime that ethan hawke played a gay cowboy etc etc

[alivegirlmari]

taissa tuesday was fun let’s never stop. i say given that nat’s now dead we could probably turn naTalie Thursday into tai thursday too. and what could be more failgirl friday of jackie than for her special day to be taken away from her. fuguetai friday it now is <3

#belated taiposting coming once i leave this waiting room. #if i had a nickel for everytime i wanted to post about yj but i had to sit in a health facility instead! etc etc

[chaosandthe-deadblog]

just so everyone knows. my partner and i were talking about clone fucking (as you do) and i told her that i Would. it said that i wouldnt because then we'd be both bottoms. she said that to my fucking FACE

#red.txt #IF I HAD A NICKEL FOR EVERYTIME MY PARTNER CALLED ME A BOTTOM ETC

[sweetsweetloverlover]

on the one h1nd i have no way to tell how i would react & what i would do in a life threatening emergency kinda situation but on the other hand i know that the two times in my life where i temporarily (like only about a minute or less) went blind i reacted really well and did not panic despite feeling like i was gonna pass out both times so. idk maybe ill save the world someday like

#(joke) but also yeah if i had a nickel for everytime i went blind for 30 seconds just like that id have two nickels etc etc #1st time was as i was going to/coming home from middle school in the Crowded metro so that was fun #&the other was a couple weeks ago alone in my house + wasnt the first time so by far. a much nicer experience lol #probably just from dehydration/lack of sleep/lack of energy in general but yeah. still weird & not fun!! #txt

[wickedghxst]

dr who is fucking crazy man. ur watching some silly sci-fi show & suddenly spider-man is here. and then Another spider-man shows up.

#if i had a nickel for everytime a spidey actor was in this series before that id have two nickels etc etc.

[sagau-my-beloved]

I love we now made venti a potential hitman, like he’s so eager to kill for the all creator just to get attention, just imagine on the rare occasion you send him to kill some boss guy that been a nuisance for a while. Like on the outside to the public your the gentle all loving god. but in the shadows you have a team of your most loyal followers willing to kill people that you send out to take care of stubborn nuisance that refuse to make peace with you after giving them every offer you can. I imagine childe would be on the team of course, but also surprisingly, venti would too, like seriously, you a big bad boss guy that has unknowingly pissed off the all creator and this bard dude is sent to kill you? Only to come back to him master covered in blood and smiling cheerfully. Just, pure all creator secretly has a dark hitman unit she uses. She’s not all pure.

Really I mean what desperate acolyte wouldn't kill for the creator, I can't imagine there would be a lot

If we're talking about who all would be a willing hitman for their divine grace, all the Archons immediately make the checklist and also all the characters who have caused a death before, so obviously Childe's there, like a few different times

I'm just saying it would be really funny if the list looked like this

1: Childe

2: Venti

3: Tartaglia

4: Zhongli

5: Ajax

6: Ei

7: The 11th harbinger

Etc.

But something's just weirdly wholesome about the image of Venti covered thoroughly in blood, happily trotting back on his merry way to gush to his beloved how good he was for them, smiling and blushing as you clean up his face with a wet washcloth and he recounts the death in explicit detail, then you give him a lil kiss on the forehead for a job well-done

Que Childe pouting in the corner cause he didn't get a lil kiss

Anyway, yeah, it really is unrealistic to expect dear creator to just be all happy-go-lucky "let's solve this with the power of friendship!" when they literally came from our world, which is not notorious for having a lot of conflict solved in that manner

I mean at some point you just have to call it and resort to the secondary option, ie. murder

And who is a better helper than the drunk innocent bard, who looks as if the very worst he could bring himself to do is maybe steal a few sips of wine from unsuspecting patrons when they finally blackout after a long night

Realistically, if word ever got out to the general public that some 'less than innocent' things were going on behind the scenes, they would be relatively fine with it, I mean you have the right to enact divine judgment on whoever you see fit of course, and the fact that you're so loving and caring and pure on the outside only helps emphasize that everything you do is justified for one reason or another

And also what are the harbingers if not a team of 'problem solvers', I mean let's be real here, the game already has a canonical hitman team loyal to a divine power that everyone seems generally ok with, so you really wouldn't have to worry too heavily about that, your word is absolute after all

But if word did get out, there would suddenly be a very long list of people that want to join your elite hitman team, just saying, the line would be out the door

Then you'd probably have some of them claiming that they're actually better than the harbingers because they're loyal to a higher divine power, and then there's just Childe there who has to nervously sweat in the corner for being a part of both

Poor guy always gets swept up in divine hitman teams for some reason, if I had a nickel for everytime—

Anyway yeah, feral characters covered in blood and ready to kill 👌, more of that in fiction pls, we deserve it

#genshin impact #sagau #genshin x reader #yandere genshin au #yandere genshin x reader #brainrot #i feel for childe man can't catch a break #he'd be happy to do it though i mean #it's one of those 'well I'm not gonna say no'

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

I've just found my old fanfiction (written in 2015) about hell's royalty forming an alliance and overthrowing Lucifer because he was too incompetent to rule.

So if I had a nickel everytime a pice of media portrays Lucifer as a depresses girlfailure, too preoccupied with his special interest to take care of his people I would have two nickles, etc.

But the idea of coup d'etat really doesn't work for Hellaverse (believe me, I tried) because noone that could match Lucifer in power seem interested in ruling this shithole.

#lucifer hazbin hotel