#idk what it is other than imposter syndrome abt mental illness

[autistic-katara]

thinking about how last night i had a dream where my friend (u guys know the one) idk found out the way i feel abt him or smthn and got rlly mad at me for talking abt him behind his back (i haven’t been saying anything negative irl or in the dream, all of it has been pining 😭) and then got further mad at me for liking or reblogging some of his vent poetry bcz i didnt understand what it means/didn’t properly relate to it ig and in the dream it was true (kinda) but for some reason i didn’t wanna tell him that so i was like “no i do get it” and he was like “oh yeah? what does this one mean?” and i got it wrong bcz i interpreted the word “drew” wrong and yeah when i woke up i felt rlly weird in the way u do when u have a nightmare and u have to remember that no, that person didn’t die u don’t have to grieve them dw or whatever and yeah when i turned my phone on i saw this “while in do not disturb” thingy that said he texted me which scared the shit out of half-awake me 💀

#i know literally no one cares but fuck off it’s my blog i can post what i want #also most of the dream took place over text btw #(the only part that didn’t being the “tell me what my poetry means” bit #which took place in this weird wormhole thing #tho he was still speaking to me with written/typed words he wasnt talking) #also yeah he was very ooc he does not act like this at all irl 😭 (incase u were wondering) #idk i think my brain might be trying to tell me smthn cause that’s normally what happens when my phone plays a role in my dream- #idk what it is other than imposter syndrome abt mental illness #or fear of losing my friend bcz he finds out i have a massive crush on him #both of which i already knew #anyways yeah idk #dreams #ryan shut the fuck up