#idk man i lowkey think sometimes that i have a touch of the ‘tism and I am far too scared to seek a dx

[jewish-space-laser]

Ok journal entry incoming lol.

Guys I think this is the closest I’ve ever been to being in love and it’s terrifying because I honestly wasn’t sure if I was capable of like… letting my guard down enough to feel this way.

And sometimes it’s lonely but to be quite frank I fucking LOVE being alone, and things like having a kid or a house or whatever are never things I felt I needed to have a partner for. And I still mostly feel that way and it probably will never change completely but I have to admit it is really nice having somebody in my life who is like, romantic and makes me feel all floaty and nice all the time.

And it’s not like I haven’t dated and been in relationships before, but I feel that, at least on my end, things always felt very “surface level” or like I couldn’t fully be myself around them, and I always remember how excited If be to get home, after going on dates lmao.

But with my current dude I don’t really feel drained. And like, I can be myself around him!!! I’ve told him all of the feelings above and he feels the same about so many things. Before I even mentioned it, he told me he believes that couples should have their own bedrooms in a shared home. LIKE!!! YES!!!! I have always wanted that too. He loves having his own space, so do I. I understand when he needs to recharge his social battery and vice versa.

Anyway TLDR, I just needed to date another earth sign, I am potentially capable of love after all lmao

#I’m so high and somehow it helped me articulate this lol #i’ve been trying to pinpoint why this relationship felt different from the start #and i think it’s just that we have similar boundaries #idk man i lowkey think sometimes that i have a touch of the ‘tism and I am far too scared to seek a dx #but it’s hard to find people who actually understand what it means to need SPACE like real space #anyway i need to go drink water so bad holy shit my mouth is dry