#idk how to write accents etc but you guys will make it sound fine in your heads I'm sure | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

neo-shitty · 3 years

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toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

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army-of-mai-lovers · 3 years

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hello arthur!! tbh people are being terrible in your inbox and the last ask killed my brain cells so this is your free bingo card to talk about anything you like. also sometimes googling sharks with human teeth (exactly what it sounds like) helps!! much love <3

oh my gosh I’m OBSESSED with these photos they’re so cute!!!! and thank you for the bingo card Effie I appreciate it so much. I’m gonna rant about Deadly Class (a show I definitely don’t like and thus don’t run a fan blog for....smh) bc it’s on my mind and it looks like it’s just going to go quietly into that good night instead of being made fun of and dissected and I think that should change bc goodness gracious that show does not deserve a dignified death. also I’m gonna put this rant under a readmore bc this is gonna be long and it has nothing to do w atla. warnings for discussions of racism, callous mentions of murder and death, swearing, discussion of Nazis, discussion of gore, abuse ment

Okay so for those not in the know (which is probably everyone considering the show was on Syfy and it’s being canceled due to low viewership) Deadly Class is a teen murder drama set in the late ‘80s starring Lana Condor, which makes it sound like it was engineered in a lab to appeal to me. Literally my friend and I were in the middle of watching Schitt’s Creek, which I adore, and she was like “well I heard about this show called Deadly Class” and described it and I was like fuck Schitt’s Creek we’re watching this. It had a 64% on Rotten Tomatoes, which usually makes me nervous, but I was literally like “I don’t care because I know I’m going to love it.”

And well. I did not love it.

I truly do not understand how one fucks up “teenagers (mostly) of color go to murder boarding school in the late ‘80s” that bad (I mean the Russo brothers are involved and they fuck up everything they touch so perhaps it was just that). I haven’t read the comic the show is based on but it does appear that a *lot* of the issues of the show stem from the comic, which is...disappointing. Basically, our MC, Marcus, starts off the show homeless after his group home burned down (and it’s heavily implied that he was the one to do it) and gets hunted down by these elite teenage murderers who invite them to their murder school.

Already, numerous problems are starting to show themselves. First of all, Marcus is Latino, which, yes, it’s very cool that the MC is Latino, except he is literally the white-passingest man I’ve ever seen in my life, and I’ve seen my dad. I didn’t realize that he was Latino until they showed his extremely stupid backstory in a shitty animated sequence and whoever was voicing his dad did this really, really thick Nicaraguan accent and I was like wait a damn minute. So then, I looked it up, and the guy playing Marcus is named Benjamin Wadsworth, which immediately made me think that they had pulled a Noah Centineo and made me think this fully white actor was half Latino (and yes, Latinos can be white, but I think Marcus is supposed to be a nonwhite Latino, and I thought Benjamin Wadsworth was both white and non-Latino). But you know, as an light skinned ethnically ambiguous mixed kid myself, I thought I owed it to him to dig a little deeper, and turns out our pal Ben is mixed (also, he’s like six months older than me and married, which is a trip). And like, okay, I guess I’m glad they didn’t get a white non-Latino man to play a Latino character, but they literally got the whitest looking Latino they could think of to play him. He originally auditioned for Billy. Billy’s the token white. And the producers were like “wait you have Latino ancestry?” (how they found that out I don’t fucking know) and let him go for Marcus. And like. Okay. The character in the comics is light-skinned but he does not look white, and Benjamin is not a good enough actor for them to just pass on the actors who surely auditioned for that role and were more visibly Latino but like. Okay, I guess.

Second of all, this show is mega racist and it starts to reveal itself when you look at how the murder kids are styled in literally their first appearance. What struck me the most was the fact that the Latina (whose name is fucking Maria, for heaven’s sake) was wearing a sexy red dress and Day of the Dead makeup, which, I’m sorry, huh? That just so happens to be the Mexican girl’s murder outfit? I’ve tried to give them the benefit of the doubt and speculate that maybe she wears it to like, subvert people’s expectations, but at this point idk how this is subverting anyone’s expectations nor why she’d be so invested in that. Also, she’s supposed to be a teenager. It’s fucked up to sexualize any of your child characters but it really hits different when it’s your Latina character (and yeah, I know the actress playing Maria isn’t a teenager, but still, it’s the principle of the thing). And then of course, the Black guy, Willie (no he’s not related to Billy they were just like yeah two guys with rhyming names in our main cast sounds legit) is a gangbanger dude who talks the way that white people think Black people talk. I keep waiting for this guy to have one line that’s not complete garbage, but I’m five episodes deep and so far nada, which sucks so bad because there’s like, kernels of an interesting character buried in this horrible racist trope. Also, they had him sleep with a N*zi. I hate it here. Lana Condor (her character’s name is Saya) gets off fairly okay, at least in this first shot (they don’t have her wearing a kimono to go murder people, thank fuck), but the way she behaves is super weird, like kinda flirty towards Marcus, kinda badass but not enough to actually do anything, etc. Billy’s white so they couldn’t make him a racist caricature or anything but I have no idea why he’s here. See, instead of talking about the real politics of the real world, Deadly Class makes up fake prejudice that honestly makes the lok bender/nonbender bullshit look sensible. Maria, Willie, and Saya are Legacies, which means that their families are established murderers (fun fact: the N*zi girl is also a Legacy, because her father murdered hundreds of civil rights activists. And the characters of color align themselves with her. I don’t understand.) Billy, and later Marcus when he decides to go to murder school, are Rats, meaning they have no affiliation with established murder groups. So, in this show, the people of color have privilege over the (mostly white) Rats. Make it make sense. Further, this means that Maria, Saya, and Willie should have absolutely no reason to hang out with Billy, and yet they do because the Russo brothers have heard that the kids these days like the found family trope, so they put five unlikely friends in a room together and insinuated that they could all be besties. I swear, this show is the La Croix of found family tho, in that there is absolutely no flavor whatsoever. None of the characters develop into a found family. Saya is bound to care for Marcus for reasons, Maria is using him, Willie is also using him, and Billy is only his friend because they’re both Rats. Saya and Maria are already friends (and honestly their friendship is the most compelling thing in the whole show). There are no other connections between the characters. But they’re totes a found family!!!!/s

Also, they don’t let Saya be mean. Every character says “oh Saya’s such a bitch” but do we ever see Saya being a bitch??? No! Saya is literally just a nice girl who is kinda quiet sometimes and murders people and has a tragic backstory. There’s an argument to be made for Maria being more bitchy than her tbh. And like, fine, if you want Saya to be nice, she can be nice, but stop telling me she’s mean then!!! If you’re gonna tell me that I’m gonna get to see mean Lana Condor in a leather jacket in this show then deliver bitch.

There’s truly so much more I could talk about (Chico??? What the fuck is Chico’s arc???? What in the actual hell were they thinking when they were writing anything to do with Chico????? my DUDES WHAT IN THE SAM HELL. also making Billy straight was so fucking stupid he’s literally gay come on now, also Master Lin is so fucking useless what is he even doing here) but instead I’m going to outline the version of Deadly Class my friend and I have been talking about while we watch the inferior real Deadly Class.

lots of things are the same actually because there are some elements of the show that have potential. Marcus is still homeless at the beginning, everybody still thinks he burned down the group home but he didn’t, Willie is still a pacifist, he and Marcus are still partners for their first murder school assignment, Saya’s mean (but like actually), Billy still has green hair and is the token white of the group (although a Billy of color.....thinking), and they all hate Reagan

in an ideal world Willie and Maria would have different names (Willie bc his name rhymes with Billy’s and that’s fucking stupid, also Willie is just a terrible name in general, Maria partially because it sounds way too similar to Marcus and I don’t understand why the guy who wrote this couldn’t make his characters have different sounding names, and partially because no Latina character of mine is going to be named fucking Maria), but for the purposes of this outline I’ll keep their names the same for clarity.

Marcus doesn’t initially have his rep. He’s on the streets when he sees a girl his age (Saya) come out of this elevator in the back of a restaurant brandishing a sword, and decides to go into the elevator, sees the stash of weapons, and decides to steal one so he can fend for himself better.

also keeping the detail of Rory murdering a bunch of homeless kids, but now Marcus knows that Rory is actively hunting him down.

in the process of robbing the school’s weapons collection, Marcus figures out that it’s a murder school

Master Lin catches Marcus robbing the school, they fight, Master Lin overpowers Marcus and ties him up. He says the weapons are for students only, and Marcus says he’s applying. Lin asks what his qualifications are, and Marcus says “you know that group home that burned down three months ago? all the kids that died? I started the fire.”

(also no shade to Benjamin Wadsworth but in this version he is not playing Marcus. Marcus is not white-passing)

Master Lin initially doesn’t believe him, but Marcus presses on and eventually convinces Master Lin that this is really what happened, and so Lin welcomes him to murder school.

Marcus’s first class is Poisons, and his lab partner is Billy, who takes a shine to him and shows him around school. There’s no Legacy/Rat nonsense, but you do have normal high school drama adapted slightly for murder school. Maria is the prettiest and most popular girl in school, Saya is the mean girl/valedictorian, Willie is the jock, and Billy’s the punky weirdo.

Marcus is, of course, the new kid with a reputation to live up to.

Things kind of fall apart when Willie and Marcus are paired up for an assignment: to seek revenge on somebody.

also Willie’s backstory is extremely different. his dad was a Black Panther, and he was murdered by the FBI when Willie was a kid. distraught, his mom moved to Texas, where she started working a corporate job and rose really high in the ranks. To maintain her status in the company, she had to do some really horrible things, including working with the FBI to take down other civil rights activists. Willie found out about this and was absolutely horrified. his mother insisted she was doing this so that he could have a better life, but he refused to listen to her, and ran away, and ended up at murder school.

Willie got into murder school because Lin knows who his mom is, and assumes that Willie is just as cutthroat as she is. he gains a reputation as well.

also, Willie’s extremely wealthy, and this shows in the way he dresses (preppy jock vibes)

you don’t find out about this backstory for a minute tho bc unlike Albert Kim and the Russo Brothers, I can wait until the right opportunity presents itself for a backstory drop.

ok anyway back to what I was saying earlier

they have to seek revenge on somebody. Marcus asks Willie if there’s anybody he wants revenge on, and Willie very sincerely says no. Marcus scoffs at him and says he’s clearly had a very easy life, to which Willie replies, “Well, who do you want revenge on?”

Marcus immediately says, “Rory.”

So they track Rory down, and since Marcus hasn’t actually killed anybody, he hands the weapons over to Willie. Willie frowns and says that he has nothing against this dude he’s never met before, so Marcus should be the one to hurt him. Marcus says that this is a group project and Willie’s got to pull his weight, and they get into an argument

the argument gets loud, and Rory hears them fighting and starts chasing them.

in the midst of the chase, both of them divulge their secrets to one another. Willie laughs hysterically and says that they deserve each other bc they both lied to get where they are, and now they’re going to die because of it

Rory backs them into a corner, and Marcus uses one of the swords he tried to steal earlier to shank Rory

They throw the body in a dumpster, and after this, they’re friends, and Marcus decides he’ll fit right in at murder school.

ok so that was only one episode but things to look forward to in the version of Deadly Class that only exists in me and my friend’s heads: Marcus dealing with the emotional and moral fallout of his first murder, Willie trying to figure out what it means to be a pacifist in a world so hellbent on doing violence towards him, Saya being mean to everyone except Maria, Maria convincing Saya to relax and have fun, the gang bonding in a Breakfast Club style situation adapted for murder school and making a joke about how this is like the Breakfast Club because it’s the 80s and the movie just came out, Saya and Maria falling in lesbians, Marcus and Saya being depressing edgelord besties, Billy being gay and fighting his abusive father, Marcus and Billy being uncool weirdo bffs, Willie and Maria rolling their eyes at Marcus and Saya’s cynicism, Billy coming out to Marcus and talking about his experiences being gay, which makes Marcus think “hang on, why do I relate to that?”, Willie seeing Marcus make a sarcastic comment about kissing a guy and having a crisis, Marcus and Willie falling in love, the gang taking a road trip to Vegas to murder Billy’s dad and giving Billy a gnc thrift store makeover on the way, and eventually the gang murdering the shit out of Ronald Reagan.

#caps tw #effie tag #replies #not atla #racism #murder tw #death tw #swearing tw #nazi #finn don't look #politics tw #gore tw #abuse ment #you do not have to read this effie it was very satisfying just to write it #arthur tags for later #gonna show this to my friend bc we haven't outlined anything this specific yet

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rockshortage · 3 years

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Ok, soooo 3 (I know you already answered this before, but I can't find the post and I can't remember what your answer was ;<;), 8, 10, 15, 16, 17, 21, and 28?

gets asks and proceeds to ignore them for 3 days

3. What does your oc’s voice sound like? (Or, if you have one, what’s their voiceclaim?) Can they sing, whistle, or roll their rs? Do they have any speech impediments or notable dialects/accents?

This is a different video from the one I linked the first time I answered this, but same guy: https://youtu.be/OMjJSyPTFSg?t=53 this one has a lot of respect women juice in it and I’m living for it Main factors for choosing him are: the age, he’s swiss, and a metal musician. So that gives me good references for just the voice itself, the accent, and some pointers to what the singing voice could sound like. (Could, because the style of metal is a bit different from what Hector would mostly be into, including the singing, so idk dude) I haven’t had a ‘oh this one is PERFECT’ moment with this voice claim, so if that ever happens I might change it, but I doubt it tbh.

Hector can sing pretty well, it’s something he’d do a lot while working on projects at home. Singing/growling/screaming along to music he’s listening to a lot, so he might as well work on getting good at it. He can whistle fine as well, doesn’t do very often though. Can’t do the loud ‘come here’ whistle. Can absolutely roll his ‘r’s. As for the accent, the voice claim one goes in the right direction. Hector’s would be messier though because of all the different influences of people around him.

8. What’s it like inside your oc’s mind? (Literally, or metaphorically.)

Always busy, mostly inward focused. Thinking about what he’s been working on, the last conversation he had and how that could have gone better or the next conversation he’s gonna have to have with one of the bosses.

10. Who’s the first person your oc goes to to talk about something that made them happy? Sad? Angry?

The best bet for Hector actually voicing emotions is MAAK. Not a person exactly, so idk if you wanna let that count, but if it’s something that bothers him on a deep level, the robot is the only thing he’ll vent at voluntarily. For lighter stuff- sure, he’ll go bitch to Gage about mildly annoying things that he already knows bother him, and if Hector’s excited about having completed some kind of gizmo he’ll show that to Gage too, or Butch if they’re around. Basically: positive emotions mainly go to Gage, Butch and Darryl, same for lightly negative things. Things on a deep seated level go to no one / MAAK / the fog crawler maybe. And this is a spontaneous thought, but it’s possible that over time he manages to get more communicative with Darryl about those things. He still won’t be great at it and will probably need a beer or two beforehand, but I could see him learning a bit of healthy communication with her.

15. What’s your oc’s morning routine like?

For 15 and 16, we’ll just pretend he has a proper sleep schedule and assume he’s safely at home, because there are so many things that would vary a lot depending on where he is.

Depending on how tired he is, he’ll either try to get 5 more minutes or just roll himself out of bed. Get MAAK out of standby, give him a little pat and maybe a tin can to devour, then shuffle on over to take care of hygiene stuff – brush his teeth, wash his face, tame the bedhead, put on a little cologne. Then it’s coffee time, which he will have on the couch or at a desk if there’s a busy day ahead. He’s not much of a breakfast eater, but if he knows he’ll be out and about the entire day, he’ll just have to force himself to eat a proper meal. Whether he gets fully dressed (minus mask) before or after breakfast depends on the mood, can go either way.

16. What’s your oc’s nighttime routine like?

He’s more of a shower in the evening kinda guy so that’s usually what he does. Generally only after he knows he won’t be needing to get back out onto the patio anymore, or if it’s already so late that it doesn’t matter. Because then he can change into some more comfortable clothes (sweatpants/sweatshirt) while he winds down for the night. Then it’s journal time, in which he writes down stuff he hasn’t already over the course of the day and review his notes. Might talk to MAAK a bit while he does that, because why not. If he’s not tired enough yet he might pass the time with some tinkering, reading a book, listening to some music, etc. until he is. Then MAAK gets a good night pat, is put into standby mode, and it’s sleepy time for Hector too.

17. If your oc had a social media page, what would it be like? What would they post about? How much personal information would they feel comfortable posting on it? How often would they update it?

I know I’ve already written most of this stuff down, but I can’t remember whether it was public or just in a private conversation between you and me….

It wouldn’t have much of a structure, neither in content nor update schedule. He’ll post about whatever’s interesting to him or he feels like sharing. Usually stuff that isn’t really pre-planned, so for example an instructional video on how to program a robot to do X will involve him trailing off and talking about some other thing or go on a rant about X decision in Robot Design that really annoys him, and if Programming Language did Y instead of Z it would be so much easier and so on. other flavors of content:

blurry picture of big dangerous creature taken from way too close

making horrible food creations

followed by best of compilation of angry comments

feeding MAAK various things

How To Swear In Swiss German

Signs written by raiders, now with even more spelling errors and funky phrasing

Like with Darryl, the rare actual nice picture of a person because I’m a sucker for that concept. Such as: Darryl smiling. Gage and Butch being cute together. Lily playing with a pupper. And other such soft gooey things

But also the occasional Old Man Selfie (you know like those facebook profile pictures) with annoyed Gage in the background

21. What’s a fact you haven’t shared about this oc?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh he’d be bi I guess? Effectively ace thanks to Trauma™, and while his interest in anything sexual wouldn’t be much higher even if that trauma wasn’t a thing… he might have at least had a little more opportunity to figure himself out

28. What’s your favorite thing about this oc?

How far he’s come. I mean that mostly on a meta level, because he’s the first OC I decided to stick with, and it’s so nice to see that other people like him too and now he not only has an in-world ‘place’ and backstory and everything (that keeps getting more complex), he also co-exists in that world with your OCs and that makes everything feel so much more alive than I ever could’ve hoped for at the start, and it’s just so much fun 😘

But I mean in the story itself he also comes very far. Going from introverted nervous mess who couldn’t hope to train a dog to still introverted nervous mess but managing to become pretty competent at leading that big ol raider empire

#anyway got a lil sappy at the end there #hector messerli #corvidexoskeleton #at first i was addressing you in third person in this ask #but it felt so fucking weird #because you're the one who sent the ask #sorry to everyone else for who reading this might have been easier if i left it in third person #but i could not #ask #hector ref

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alvvays-inmyheart · 4 years

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✨ High listening party ✨ ✌️🌱

Fine Line - Harry Styles

(I larrie’d real hard)

This is me just wanting to listen to my music while I’m under the ahem, influence and jot my thoughts down. I think typing is way better and tumblr is the best place share that.

Listening to Fine Line...gonna relate it to larry cause it’s so LOUD. Like I feel like I’m listening to a private story ya know? Not very many albums can invoke that. I think I’ll do playlists other times but some things are better experienced like this.

Here we go...

Okay so after a few high listens and even now, this whole album is a story. Like you have to listen from beginning to end. I know he split them as Side A and Side B, etc. so if you do not see the story in this album you need to go back and listen. Also, I’m mainly writing new things that I catch. So if I don’t acknowledge some of the more obvious meanings, it’s just because I think we all can easily spot or already know them.

Finally, the songs lol

Side A:

Golden - beginning of relationship or journey? Infatuation, he says he’s hopeless and goes into the chorus. I don’t wanna be alone, he feels it take a hold, take control (no control reference?!). Even though it goes into “take control...of who i am), the end of the control line has a pause before saying “of who i am”. So, it works for both. This song is for sure about the beginning and being in love.

Watermelon Sugar - Watermelon Suuuugar!!!! SOrry typing this as I am hearing it. This is about the beginning and cant get enough of that person. Like I know it heavily relates to oral (love to see that) but the whole song is just tasting like EVERYTHING about that person. But this is all bliss of the relationship. Think he may have even said that in an interview? Yes? Watermelon Sugar HIIIIIGIHGIGIGIGJH. ALSO, my crack theory, tin hatting, clown shoes wearing, mind could not stop focusing on the “I’m just thinking aloud” line. Okay listen, that is the only lyric not repeated from the pre- chorus. All the other lines from the pre-chorus, chorus are repeated. The verses are all different so that doesn’t apply. But when he sings the pre-chorus the second time, he doesnt say that. The reason I think it matters, is because I think that was a nod to “Thinking Aloud” by Ed Sheeran. H says he adds little lyrics and references only people he is close to would know. Thinking Aloud is like suuuuuch a love song. Might be relevant to him and L and like a thing btwn them? I know it sounds dumb but i can’t help tinhatting right now lol. THis is why these are *high thoughts*.

Adore You - Same. As in same as the 2 above, love and first stage. He gets lost inside his eyes? Really? Gotta be about L. Pretty sure he’s mentioned liking his eyes or eyelashes. Also, wow so much summer vibes. That’s obvious but i cant stop thinking about that lol. H just wants to love this person. And we know who that would be...just saying

Lights Out - wow. I forget I like this song so much, Oh wow okay so I rewinded the song 3 times. I keep catching things that stand out. The beginning verse sounds like he is repeating a conversation. He does the back and forth with the way it was produced. I forgot the actual term though. Back to the original thing, he says “what do you mean ?” I’m sorry by the way,[I’m} never coming back down. Can’t you see I could, but wouldn’t stay.”[I] wouldn’t put it like that.”what do you mean ?” I’m sorry by the way. {i’m] never coming around. It’d be so sweet if things just stayed the same”. Is “sweet if...” a “sweet creature” reference perhaps? Idk, I’m just a sucker for lyric connections. Or even watermelon sugar. Cause it’s part of the Side A section, so this is all happening in their period of their relationship”. “Do you know who you are” Lights can mean anything but I feel like it refers to the lights of a concert. Like lights up and all these fans {think) “they know who you are”. Sweet if things stayed the same repeats again, it really stand out to me man. The lights, fame , whatever, couldn’t heal his heart is what I get from couldn’t shine into his dark heart or whatever he says. The know who you are thig is for sure about him. Like this song is about H feeling comfortable now and has found himself.

Side B People!! - oh man let’s get sad.

Cherry: Okay so before anyone comes at me. I do think this song at least some partial part is for Camille. I know. I know. But like not at all in romantic sense. But like I said hear me out. This is about Camille and D. I know D passed away because it was really heartbreaking to the pro - skateboarding community and he was known for a few skateboarding films, one of those is titled Cherry. I saw on instagram for his passing she said he was the love of her life. But later on, I saw some other people on tumblr had also thought about this and dug more into it. Camille was with D and she has expressed how HE was the love of her life. She makes that known. I think H wrote this for her and D too. That’s why he said the song didn’t feel like it was finished without her voice recording from a phone call she took. Because it is her song in some way. The reason why I think that is because D won a skateboard award for the Supreme skateboarding video known as Cherry. He was known as a pro. It’s what Rolling Stones say was one of the important points of his career. Camille was at least friends with him if not already dating by this point. Sadly, he passed because of cancer. He is so respected in the Skater community. And I can see Camille and H having a friendship were she has expressed this to him. I believe this b/c this PR relationship had the most interactions I’ve seen from him and I want to say it was longer? Maybe they really got along. Could be wrong, I didn’t really pay attention to them when they were seeing each other. But I can see him doing this for her. Also, he liked to write songs for people so I see that even more. Now let’s get to analyzing...

First verse, I think it is supposed to be from D’s perspective. The second verse is C’s perspective. I think I believe that cause it starts with a pronoun. The second verse is D to Camille? The I confess, you are at you at your best, I’m selfish so Im hating it”. Is her saying I know you are not suffering anymore but I am selfish, as in I’m selfish because I want you here. She knows he is better now that he was passed because he doesn’t have to deal with his illness. At least the see a part of me in how you dress. Take it as a compliment. Especially cause D’s aesthetic is LA skater boy. He is one the guys that inspired the cuffed jeans look. Okay, so verse comes back, it says I still miss your accent and your friends. Means she misses his voice. And then the “and your friends, do you know that i still talk to them” is her way of saying she keeps in touch with his friends after his passing. And yeah, its.a convo between them almost. And it is H’s song in some way, because it is a song about jealousy, and he’s mentioned before he gets jealous. And in the interview with Rolling Stones, he says he had the tune and he recorded Camille talking while he was playing the guitar because she was talking in tune to the guitar or something like that. So that means in some way he always was going to write Cherry for Camille and include her. I think that because he was already working on Cherry when he and Camille were together, so it seems less likely it’s a post- break up song to me. He could have added the gallery lyric after to make it more obvious for the general public? I knoooooow this may be super far fetched but I can see this. I can also see it being a simple breakup song too. But I just wanna throw this theory out there.

Whew. Alright so I’m going to do a part 2 cause I’m tired of typing and I’m just gonna vibe for now. But man, did not know I was gonna get invested into this. ✌️😊

#larry stylinson #larry #betch #hl #fine line #lt #hs #im definitely tin hatted and will probably see that tomorrow #oh well

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jhope-seok · 7 years

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8 Questions Tag

Tagged by the lovely @pinkhoodiemark to do this!

Rules: Answer the 8 questions and then write 8 new questions or your own!

1. Favorite band outside of kpop? My favorite band ever that I’ve been following for like....almost 10 years is All Time Low, but I would honestly sell my soul to Bastille they’re music is SO top notch and it’s got great backgrounds and they actually sing in their accent....it’s really cool

2. Your go too icecream flavor? T_T I’m lactose intolerant...but my fave sorbet flavor is raspberry

3. Do you have any pets? (I love pets omg but i dont have any D:) No! My sister does so I’ll count her dog since it’s the closest thing to a pet I have hahaha

4. Favorite ship? Oh jeez how you gonna put me on blast like this. How am I supposed to pick?!! I’ll go for my top three groups and my top ships in those groups so: BTS -- Yoonseok (I went for so long being a BTS stan without shipping anyone until one fine day I noticed a solid Yoonseok moment and never turned back); Monsta X -- Showhyuk (my personal real mom&dad of MX); GOT7 -- 2jae (my two biases bundled into a ship what could go wrong?)

5. Top 3 favorite aspects about your bias? (I know 3 is a small number but it is a challenge 😏 ) Okay so I’m gonna pick Namjoon for this one. 1) He’s hella smart and is not shy about his intelligence but he’s also not cocky about it. Like it’s super attractive when a man just spews knowledge but isn’t like “oh you didn’t know that?” *flips hair* 2) His words are meaningful. You often will not find him just talking to talk. Even in his V lives where he’s alone it’s like spending 30-45 minutes just listening to someone so wise talk. I spend a lot of my life trying to make sure that the words I’m saying are perfectly crafted to sound the way I mean them to and he does it so easily. 3) He is just so goofy ya know. His goofy smile and goofy dancing are easy ways to get me to smile.

6. Favorite K-drama(s)? Considering I’ve seen like.....3 total...... :/ Idk. I’ll just be basic and say My Love From Another Star. Made me cry like a bagillion times.

7. How do you say “I like dogs” in a language you speak or know? I like dogs.

8. Favorite meme of your fav group/bias Does Hyungwon count as my fave meme of my fave group????

Now for my 8 questions.

How did you get into kpop in the first place?

How much/what merchandise of your favorite group do you own?

What’s your favorite thing you’ve ever made related to your favorite group/any group? (Gifsets, screen caps, memes, etc.)

Least favorite hairstyle your bias has ever had?

Your fave MV you’ve ever seen (of any group)?

Outside of kpop and/or tumblr what are your main likes and interests? Both musical and non-musical.

Who is your ultimate bias and why are they your ult?

Pineapple on pizza? Yes or no.

I tag (you guys don’t have to do this if you don’t want!): @yooneroos @scoups95 @namfreakingjoon @sunshinelollipopsandyoungjae @spillthetaetae @strawberry-scoups @who-s-your-reason-to-b3 @satansonyeondan @jisooseyes @softbeom @spicyramyeonmonbebe @gds-red-hair @annyeongs @shittyprettyandshinee

#this was so much fun to do #and i can't wait to read everyone's answers!#rachel rambles

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familyvisionis2020 · 4 years

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Day 5 - Huntsville

Jeremy’s up the earliest and sends a text to us that he’s getting breakfast with Noah at a place called the Grit. Rather than opt to join I just post up on the porch with Trey and indulge in a long long blog post.The weather is cooler and grayer, joggers and dog-walkers and kids on bikes roll down the streets, slow syrupy sunday morning, humidity and gristle, butter pats wouldn’t melt if you left them out on your plate but they wouldn’t be too taut to sink your teeth into. I feel a fundamental sense of repair from typing, reviving a column of spirit I’d quietly suffocated, knock loose a clot of rust in my clockwork and the machinery is humming along again. Now that I have the link to the blog to share to people I feel like I’m gingerly handing the missing puzzle piece to my patrons and well-wishers and companions, indulging a curiosity and rounding something out to myself that might prove the regard and sensitivity my quietness can bely, might be a kindness or a service to people who find me austere or impenetrable or bristly. I was staring at a picture of a cactus and identifying with it the other day, tall, two arms, tiny head, spiky, full of water, not so bad if you’re careful with them, just like me.

Later tonight I will watch Tired Frontier play the last set of their tiny tour with us and what will end up being our last show of the tour as well. Watching the face of the guys I see things so so different then when I saw them for the first time, when they were complete strangers, tourmates but sight unseen. What I saw in their faces the first time I saw them play: Royal is tall and broad-shouldered and country and active and maybe a little sloppy and expanive and reminds me a ton of my friend Mike, so I have love for him off the bat, also his weird tuning and rococo pedal board setup and heedless mustache and you know, wife, set off little clockworks of insecurity in me and my mind props up baseless criticisms of him sourced solely from my ignorance of him. After three shows we are not friends but I know him much better, have seen him from more angles, have a better sense of him, he loves doing bits and laughs high and loud and chills endlessly, in this way he matches the tone and cadence of Kabir magnificently. Paul is beautiful and has a face like a svelter Jim Carrey and kneads the keyboard effortlessly, digital dough, his fingers are narrow and elegant and move only enough to play the next keys, the same sort of parsimony of motion I used to see from chefs with expert knife skills. I envy his bouny raven thick-sable hair. Trey looks plainly joyful when he plays drums. He extends his crash cymbal hardware to the maximum length so his crash is preposterously high up. I can’t discern a reason other than it’s kind of fun or different. He’s enthusiastic about my writing, I get to share him some other work I’ve done, he says he loves it, I swell with gratitude and we exchange emails.

The morning in Athens goes more or less like the morning before: me and Kabir and John and Paul all go get breakfast at Donderos’ again, drink tea and coffee, pack up our stuff. We take some group photos with both bands outside on the porch with the orbs and they’re cute and silly. Kabir flipped a coin to decide whether me or John drives the next stretch, it’s me, I’m a little apprehensive because I haven’t driven a 15-passenger van in awhile, but once I’m in it’s like riding a bike, I have muscle memory of driving big vehicles from U-Haul trips and, before that, the box truck I drove to transport food donations to the pantry of the Servant Center in Greensboro. I’m a good driver, I check my mirrors, I put on a halloween mix I made in 2015 and I am feeling myself, focused, caffienated, surrounded by friends, there’s some clouds in the sky and drizzles but it’s not bad and we’re making good time. The boys just listen along with me to the DJ mix for awhile then start up a new crossword puzzle and we all 4 do it collaboratively, one person describing the clue, letters, cross-clues, and we brainstorm for answers, between the four of us we’re really good at this, and we’re all laughing and in great spirits as we methodically complete the puzzle. We stop in Marietta Georgia at one point to use the bathroom, we stop at a KFC with a 20-foot mechanized/animatronic chicken head whose eyes roll back in its head and whose giant beak opens and closes in regular time like a campy pendulum. I buy a postcard and a souveneir cup from here because I think my Mom has family from Marietta Georgia but when we’re back in the car I can’t remember if it’s Marietta Georgia or Marietta Ohio, but I figure it will be well-received either way. We get back on the road and now we’re off the highway and onto some more remote state routes and we pass into Alabama and the rain lets up but its still overcast so the light is gentle and diffuse, the hills are rolling, we pass a colony of tiny homes, weird, livestock, bulls with giant horns that when I see them I just say ‘aurochs’ absent mindedly, livestock and cotton fields and when we see police someone will just say ‘ops’ and the whole drive everyone is just in a good mood, making jokes, kind and breezy. I marvel at how these boys do not seem to carry the same sort of darkness I feel I do, or maybe they just don’t wear it on their sleeves, or maybe none of them are neurodivergent or addicted or traumatized, or maybe they are but hide it well, or have coped and healed…something I’m used to is being around people who require a space to talk about extremely serious and heavy and heartbraking things. Maybe it’s a vestige of a lifestyle I’ve left behind. In all the time I’ve spent with Kabir and Jeremy and John and David (our NC bassist who plays home shows when Jeremy is in NY), I’ve never seen anyone come close to losing their temper, yelling, crying, crumbling, whatever. I marvel at the putative stability of my friends. I like having stable friends, I like having a stable life, it’s not how my life has always been. There is a level of tranquility and calm that washes over me while I’m driving through rural Alabama with my stable friends in a well-maintained van in my healthy body wrapped around a heart that is not broken and a mind that feels as clear and capable as it has ever been. Grace is unearned, I’m told.

We make it to Huntsville on time, the venue is called the Salty Nut, kind of a spacious and tidy bar with a kind bartender my height but with a double thick country accent and the show booker is slight and soft spoken and exceedingly kind, he receives us and then points us in the direction of a nearby restaurant called Banditos Burritos. The restaurant is festooned with vaguely southwestern or hispanic decorations and also random camp like a dirty 1990s Bart Simpson doll, a ruined acoustic guitar, a King Khan poster, a garden gnome on an old-fashioned scale with the sliding thing, a skateboard without trucks painted with a sleeping cactus person wearing a sombrero, etc. The people there are so so nice and when we say we are playing the Salty Nut tonight the guy behind the counter explains that menu items with steak and all beers will cost, but otherwise we can order whatever we want for free. We get burritos, nachos, beans, rice, salsa, hot sauce, ice water in a paper cup. We feast, scarf down, all hungrier than we realized, it’s essentially a non-franchise Taco Bell by my appraisal, which is absolutely perfect as far as I’m concerned, the beans and rice feel good and substantial. Tired Frontier shows up a little after us, gets the same stuff basically, we eat and laugh and finish and go back to the venue and wait around for awhile, I join Jeremy and Royal outside skateboarding and act crazy and try to film them doing tricks but my phone dies and and eventually they stop and we go inside and set up and play. The show goes fine, TF sounds as good as they have so far. They’re playing to a crowd of the other two bands and maybe 8 people in the bar sitting at a table eating food they brought over for Banditos Burritos. The show is fine, unremarkable. When we play, I do the usual routine of trying to play my hardest and with my whole body, and end up dropping sticks more than once and missing some snare hits and not being able to keep up on the driving floor tom parts, mostly because I’m not warmed up and maybe not focusing enough, I’m letting myself get a little carried away trying to play hard and fast rather than keep things tight, I worry this may miff the other guys but after the show there is no indication that anyone even noticed it or cared. There was a cool part where I dropped a stick but instead of it falling to the floor it bounced around on top of the snare and tom and I managed to snatch it out of mid air and keep playing and Jeremy noticed that and that made me feel cool. We played hard and to my ear we got good claps between songs, we are pretty live and high energy and I think even if people don’t like our sound they appreciate the energy, but also some of the songs are earworms and catchy and people like that too, I’ve heard. We finish, the other drummer from the other band, Golden Flakes, says great set man, we perch at the merch table but sell nothng. We listen to Golden Flakes play for close to an hour, very jam band vibe, many many guitar solos, kind of sloppy, sort of high energy rock and roll I guess, I by this time am tired and pretty disinterested, get on my phone for most of it. Toward the end of their sets someone who I assume is a townie is drunk and heckling them between songs in a way that they are clearly fine with and they know the guy and to me for some reason he looks the way I imagine the way the protagonist John from Shit Town the podcast would look. We are in Alabama after all. He sounds like John (not from our band, from the podcast). He’s annoying and I’m being judgy in my head about him when I should maybe feel sorry or indifferent, idk. It feels sad to me, I don’t feel like writing more about it. It’s awkward enough, the heckling and banter from Golden Flakes, that by the end of the set we all kind of joke-rush out of there, quietly agreeing that what’s happening is awkward and unpleasant and we should go. We get put up in Thomas’s apartment, and on on the ride home the guys talk about how Huntsville’s claim to fame is being the place where the Nazi engineers taken during Operation Paperclip were taken after WW2, whose skills were put to use developing rockets, and that all manner of testing has taken place in and around the nearby military base, the Redstone Arsenal. Kabir tells a story about how a nuclear warhead was dropped on NC and by freak chance did not detonate. It would have wiped out the population of the entire Southeast. I didn’t believe it but you can read about it here:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1961_Goldsboro_B-52_crash?wprov=sfti1

At the apartment I make a b-line for the couch, get my sleeping stuff out, eat an apple and a banana and a bunch of peanut butter out the jar and go to sleep. At the end of every day I feel so much more irritable and grumpy than I do at other times. I still really treasure a quiet space all to myself to sleep in and so this troubles that. But I just listen to a youtube video on European history, learn nothing, and have no dreams I remember.

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s3venpounds · 5 years

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1-98

thank you my dewd for giving me something to do! ngl was going kinda insane and i’ll take anything over doing chores tbh also sorry if this is hella late

weird asks that say a lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

coffee mugs usually because they hold more liquid and i use them for everything lol tea, coffee, alcohol, soda

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

lollipops, i like having something in my mouth for long amounts of time(and yes pun intended)

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

cotton candy oh my god. I have such a sweet tooth its ridiculous. I once bought 7 large bags of cotton candy from K days and ate them for the next 2 months even when they got hard and probably nasty lmao i just love that shit. even cotton candy flavoured stuff ( except vodka. thats a trap. )

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

shy, reserved, well behaved basically i was a wimpy little shit

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I like them in glass cups so i can clean it afterwards and use it again later, waste makes me feel guilty

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

if its applied to me? pastel. I love brighter colors after i stopped wearing blacks greys and whites. they feel so good and look so nice. on someone im interested in? sportswear, formal, grunge, goth, pastel, tomboy. in no particular order. if its sportswear stuff that really highlights muscles and how toned they are just MMMMMMMM. formal is fuckkkkkkking attractive. like if the white collar shirt is unbuttoned halfway and the blazer is rolled up? or no blazer but with suspenders and the sleeves rolled up? OMG i will literally lick their collarbones idgaf

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphones, mostly because its just healthier for your ears, as much as i like earphones and use them more often i just prefer headphones cuz people usually dont bother me, i do dislike the hat hair though and how bulky they are

8. movies or tv shows?

im kind of a weeb so i much prefer tv shows with regular releases so im not waiting 6 years or something for avengers lol i need my fixxxxxxxxxxx

9. favorite smell in the summer?

after rain smell or during rain smell idk. carnival food? the ocean? just water scents i guess

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

dance or volleyball both of which im still doing to this day very happily c:

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

cereal, maybe some nutella, whatevers left over if someone cooked the night prior or just basic bacon eggs and rice. fried rice if im feeling lucky

12. name of your favorite playlist?

Emotions empty. YEET

13. lanyard or key ring?

lanyard. I’ve had the same spidergwen/ghost spider lanyard since like 2015 and i refuse to use another lol. it feels so cool to yank on the lanyard and swing it around

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

rock candy. hands down. that shit makes me nutty. like if i was an earth bender or some shit i’d make a giant club made of the stuff and smack people with it and lick it afterwards

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

the outsiders probably i mean its not like crazy favourite but like its the one i enjoyed the most out of the ones i was forced to read (i really hate being forced to do shit)

16. most comfortable position to sit in? criss cross as im doing right now lmao or sitting on one of my legs

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? ah shit I just threw them out cuz they were old af but i had these nike high tops with the little puffy thing that inflates the sides of the shoes to make it more comfortable and it was so good in the winter and summer. it like breathed enough to let my feet stay nice and cool but it also stayed warm and never let snow get in my shoes cuz they were so high they acted like boots. i wore those for like my entire highschool experience

18. ideal weather?

raining. or breezy day. wind makes me sleepy and rain makes me excited to jump around in puddles and run as if my lifes calling is pulling me towards it

19. sleeping position?

I always sleep on my stomach. its my most comfortable position and i knock out so easily if i do. apparently its a family thing too lol my siblings all outgrew it but w.e

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

on a laptop or in my journal. the tapping of laptop keys makes me feel productive while writing in my journal makes me feel like itll be saved for the rest of my life

21. obsession from childhood?

psychology and the inner workings of the mind. why something thinks lowly of themselves, why someone thinks highly of themselves, how they came to this decision, why they thought to refuse this and that its really interesting to me to see peoples reasoning

22. role model?

not even a physical person but ALL MIGHT from my hero academia or boku no hero academia. yknow that phrase ? “ what would jesus do?” yeah its “what would all might do?” for me luuuuuuuuuuuuul

23. strange habits?

i dont really know any strange habits myself but im sure my friend justin knows a few

24. favorite crystal?

crystal???? uhhh i dont know much about this but i guess i would go with emerald? since its my birth stone?

25. first song you remember hearing?

a barney song. i shit you not.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

I dont really like the heat all that much. summer is just suffering to me tbh lol like what do you do when youve taken off all ur clothes, ur AC is dead and your room is the highest room in the house where all the heat gathers? nothing. you do nothing. you cry and almost get heat stroke.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

I loooooooooooove snowboarding im not good at it though but god damn its fun. specially with friends and learning together it makes me so happy seeing people grow c:

28. five songs to describe you?

fix you cold play(currently listening to this), im still here (treasure planet soundtrack) by john reznik, Good things fall apart Jon bellion, lost stars Adam levine, After Dark Asian Kung Fu Generation. is what i can say so far? i’ve got tons of songs i relate to those are the ones that just popped into mind

29. best way to bond with you?

be physical. touch me, graze me, be comfortable with me and hold up a conversation. As much as i like talking I LOVE hearing about the people im interacting with. hobbies, dreams, goals, nightmares everything. other than that? just spend time with me. any time is fine. i do prefer really deep conversations at like 3 am lol

30. places that you find sacred?

sacred to me? St. Clements park and not much else. a looooooooooot of shit has happened there. my first kiss, my worst break up, my best make up/make out, my best date.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

I got these leather boots that do a clack sound on pavement and i feel powerful as fuck. I got this really high quality black formal shirt from le chateau that breathes really well and highlights my figure. I have these black jeans with zippers above and below the kneecap that make me feel dope. so yeah full black lol. theres also this grey sweater i have that flows in the wing like a cape and i feel like a superhero when wind blows it behind me

32. top five favorite vines?

ok ok theres this one i cannot find again for the life of me but its like this asian guy sittin in a stall taking a dump and it cuts to an ice cream dispenser then some dude knocks on the door and the asian guy gasps and it cuts to the ice cream dispenser but goes backwards so the poop is like going back in and the asian guy goes like “ unnnnnnnnhhhhhhhhhhhhh” and shudders and i like fucking collapse a lung everytime i think about it. some of king vaders anime parodies are fucking hilarious, the dude who made that vine where “ if johnny has 23 dish soaps” and he goes “ wait why does johnny have 23 dish soaps” and he goes “ mind your business david” while playing with dishsoap lmao. OH OH and that one where the kid puts random shit on his head to signify its his mom like where he goes “ I like ya accent where ya from?” “ im from liberia” “ *in a whisper* oh my bad I like ya accent where ya from” yeah this is longer than i thought i’ll stop it here i still got like 60 questions left

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“lmao” i’ve now used to as a similar term to lol. sometimes i say it in irl like “ le mao” and i internally cringe everytime

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

pizza 73, sleep country canada “why buy a mattress any where elseee” and some spotify ads cuz theyre fucking everywhere

35. average time you fall asleep?

midnight or 10 at the earliest

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

god... uhhh.. one of those rage comics those old ass black n white memes

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

duffel bag, i am NOT organized enough for a suitcase plus duffels i can carry across my chest like a backpack

38. lemonade or tea?

oof. lemonade from k days was really gooooooood. but tea is something im always comfortable with.. ill go with tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? cake defnitely. cake tastes more mellow while meringue is like a burst of flavour right away

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

a dude OD’d during school hours or that time a dude had a seisure in class

41. last person you texted?

clarence

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

jacket pockets if i wanna look badass, pants pockets if im just being a panda

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

oooof. uhh leather or bomber. leather because i love biker aesthetic too and bomber just looks comfy

44. favorite scent for soap?

i dont particularly have one but i do like old spice or irish spring

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

SUPERHERO. HANDS DOWN. fantasy second and sci fi 3rd.

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

.... naked. only on days i cannot sleep at all

47. favorite type of cheese?

uhh fuck dude uhm.. toss up between cream cheese or parmesan

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

durian. I hate durian. its spiky on the outside, smells like burnt asshole but taste is redeeming

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people don't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

inside jokes with justin. just hanging out with the dude I had the best gut wrenching laughs of my life. laughs where my jaw hurt from laughing, i lost feeling in my cheeks, my face was red and couldnt stop crying. those laughs.

51. current stresses?

job security, love life, and friends who are currently getting more and more busy and cant hang out as often

52. favorite font?

IDK? Helvetica?

53. what is the current state of your hands?

dry and typing.

54. what did you learn from your first job?

People are stupid as fuck. and coworkers are dangerous thanks alex for throwing a kitchen knife at me

55. favorite fairy tale?

idk if it counts since disney always makes fairytales but treasure planet?

56. favorite tradition?

probably christmas because i think its super important who you choose to spend it with and who you DO spend it with is a sign of how much they mean to you

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

dads abuse, my biggest break up, my friends attempted suicide

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

yknow the devil sign you make by closing your hand in a fist except your pinky and pointer finger? i can make my pointer and pinky touch. I also have been told my volleyball spikes have been really good recently. uhh my dancing I guess? singing?

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

EVERYTHINGS FINE WHY? BECAUSE I AM HERE!

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

My hero academia. hands down.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

You got the makings of greatness in you, but you gotta take the helm and chart your own course! Stick to it, no matter the squalls! And when the time comes, you'll get the chance to really test the cut of your sails and show what you're made of! And... well, I hope I'm there, catching some of the light coming off you that day. TREASURE FUCKING PLANET BOIIIIIIIIIIS

62. seven characters you relate to?

jim hawkins, hikigaya hachiman, shoya ishida, natsuki subaru, Hinata Shoyo, Hiccup, roxas.

63. five songs that would play in your club?

oh god. uhhhh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. learn to fly foo fighters? castle on the hill ed sheeran? man idk im not huge on clubs, just shit from like 2000′s rock bands that white person knows the lyrics to and probably screamed in their room when they were mad

64. favorite website from your childhood?

YTV when they first released those side kick things thos games were so cool except that one day where the sidekick turned into a monster i legit got scared lol

65. any permanent scars?

tons actually and i love em! they remind me that things happened and that i wont ever forget them. currently tryna get a scar for volleyball HEHEHE

66. favorite flower(s)?

i dont know much about flowers but roses and lavender is nice. and that flower in philippines where if you touch it, it like curls into itself.

67. good luck charms?

the keychains people i’ve fallen for have given to me. like this one bullet bill keychain AB gave me when we first met in highschool. i still have it. its faded and chipped in places but i feel like it makes me feel stronger yknow?

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

birthday cake vodka. hands down. and i’ve literally tasted my own puss from an infected wound on accident

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

in philippines flies are always swarming around peoples food so what i learned was to rip up the napkin to look like that thing people used to dust the house and it keeps them away if you swing it at them

70. left or right handed?

right handed c:

71. least favorite pattern?

pattern? uhh anything disorienting i guess

72. worst subject?

math. 100% math.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

meatball marinara sub with like every sauce from subway

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

8. i think i have a high pain tolerance

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

i dont remember.. maybe like 6?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

MASHED POTATOES.FRJISD

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

not a big fan of plants....

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

sushi from a grocery store. just cuz im not willing to pay 30 bucks for somewhat fresh stuff from a retaurant

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? school id funny enough

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

...what? i guess jewel tones?

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

FIREFLIES OWL CITYYYYYYYYY

82. pc or console?

console. i have a better understanding of how console plays vs computer. computer is too finicky for me and aiming is a lot harder. console i know how people on console move and how i move and how to aim.

83. writing or drawing?

writing. if i knew how to draw though thatd be a different answer

84. podcasts or talk radio?

talk radio cuz i like to phone in and talk about my experiences lol i got to be on one actually it was dope

84. barbie or polly pocket?

uhhhhhh barbie?

85. fairy tales or mythology?

mythology!

86. cookies or cupcakes?

cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

death. or atleast what happens afterwards

88. your greatest wish?

to be a hero.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Z

90. luckiest mistake?

one time in gym class we were playing dodgeball and i slipped trying to run backwards and a dude threw a ball at me but i kicked it in a way it went straight up and i had enough time to catch it

91. boxes or bags?

boxes, much better leverage and storing is like a game of tetris!

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

lamps or overheads. sunlight has glare on my stuff and its hard to play and fairylights arent enough

93. nicknames?

tin man, AG, metal man, poetry man, silverado, silver city, quick silver anything with silver really.

94. favorite season?

fall and winter. winter being the best

95. favorite app on your phone?

Epic seven

96. desktop background? its a picture of hinata shoyo from HAIKYUU!! doing a spike with wings on his back!

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

only 1. thats my own lmao

98. favorite historical era?

uhhhhhh shit idk. they all seemed pretty shitty tbh..........

#ask me shit #ask me more things!#this was nice!

0 notes

wishingfornever · 5 years

Text

1/31/2018 – No Contact: Petty Bourgeois Emotion

If there is a God then he would truly be a tyrant.

Sorry… Starting off a bit strong. The point is, I realized why I haven’t been able to tend to my journal as of late. I got a TON of hours lately. So much so that I can’t really handle the journal. I get home late at night, consider writing in my journal, but I forget. Then I have to fall asleep. I hear my cousin in the other room… I don’t want to wake her. So, nothing gets done.

A lot of work means little time for play. My days off consist of me doing nothing for an hour and then realizing that hour lasted the entire day. D’oh.

Work went well today… was thinking of some of the things I wanted to tell you but haven’t due to… well, the workload. It’ll lighten up in a bit. I work today (current time being 12:45 in the morning, which means I would have been the 30th of January instead of 31st had I hustled, but whatever). I worked yesterday, of course, and it went… well. The day before, not so much. The 29th… Really bad. I don’t think Diana likes me.

I’ve been punished for my lust. :/

I thought my manager I have been closing with did too. No, she’s just usually annoyed. She speaks so softly and I can’t hear that well because everything was loud with my dad. I really realized I’m not fond of my dad, lately. :/

Regardless, work went well today. It’s a tuesday, so better than monday. January is the Monday of Months, of course.

My manager was late for her bus on the 29th. Yesterday (or today, whatevs) we got out at a regular time. It’s great. I hope she caught her bus but idk. I had a lot of time to think, mind you. Think of… what? My life?

I’m feeling more centered. Found… several songs. One is an animation… Beautiful, I think. Just… it appeals to me. I have it on repeat, basically. It’s… given me a bit of hope. I listen to the lyrics and… well, I relate.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRpiBvwKX6c

The song is called “The Villain I Appear to be” which is apt. Listen to it… maybe you’d disagree. After reading what you’ve read. Knowing what you know. Maybe you’ll know better. Maybe I’m not familiar with the villain I really am. Hard to tell.

There are several other songs. Expanded my favorites. It’s… helped. Music is a salve for the soul. These songs, I’ve stumbled upon in one way or another… they’ve been a light when I’ve been totally isolated in solemn darkness.

There is this song… makes me think of Esther. I think I’ll keep it to myself. It’s a good song, but I’ve already shared one in this post. Won’t share another.

Man… Was thinking about Dennis earlier today. Months ago, I was coming up with a plan. I was going to call Esther a whore or something? I wouldn’t have meant it but if Dennis exploded at Shane, he’d DEFINITELY exploded at me. So, I would have picked a fight. Would have been easy.

Again, months ago. I was more angry then. After he blocked me when I thought we could reconcile. Bullshit. That’s still bullshit.

Whatever. Point is, after doing some weight training… I’m not sure I could take him. Not confident in my strength anymore. This is why I think God is a tyrant. This was the one thing I had faith in and now… it’s gone. I had nightmares where I’d just decay and my muscles would weaken. Maybe that was my body trying to tell me that my horrors became the facts.

I’m not pleased.

Needless to say, I’m not trying to get in a fist fight with Dennis. Not anymore, at least. I need more exercise first, and even then… I don’t think I have the heart for it. Then again, the ORIGINAL plan was to have him hit me but I know he wouldn’t do that. We’d have to agree on the fight to make it legal. It’s on private property, so it should be fine.

I thought about it long and hard. Again, not the plan anymore. I guess the plan is to keep bitching about them until I get tired of it. Yay?

Been watching a lot of streamers lately. Probably a bad thing. It’s been making me late. I’ve considered streaming myself. Gives me someone to talk to. I am starting to feel the lack of friends. I’ve selected this solitude for myself. How generous I’ve become. D’oh…

Oh, my NationState. MN Has been INACTIVE. Yes, for reasons. Mostly that I’m busy and the responsibilities stress me the FUCK out. Like, really. Life sucks. -,-

Among my musical discoveries, I also discovered the most attractive woman I’ve ever seen. A PornStar. At least, she was the most initially attractive woman. Her name I Mia Magma, born several years before me. A German woman and it took me forever to discover this. I saw her doing a very passionate blowjob and I couldn’t even fap. She just had the face of an angel.

Later, I discovered her teeth were somewhat peculiar and she doesn’t have much of an ass, unfortunately. Ah, well.

Still, she’s a beautiful woman. I made a PornHub account just to say she’s beautiful. Used my public screen name as my private screen name was… taken. I avoid numbers. Bad luck. So, I said fuck it. I don’t have anything to hide from anyone. Why should I care? Oh, what if someone finds me? Finds where I live and kills me? Bah! I don’t care. Doubt they would.

That said, I realized I might not have mentioned this. I was watching A LOT of porn and I was concerned that I miiiiiight have had viruses. Could have explained the blue screening too. So, I found an antivirus. Got a years subscription. Would get too but I’ve been talking to one of my cousins about getting a new one. Seems since the bitcoin bubble, prices for computers went up. I think I mentioned this, actually…

Regardless, I’d have to get a new antivirus if I get a new computer and I think this one would at least last the year. I found USB drives at work. Cheap and should be big enough for this file. I’ll move the important files over to it and work directly from there. Hopefully, if my computer dies before I’m through, I’ll be prepared and I won’t have to salvage everything or start over.

I woke up this morning screaming. No, didn’t dream about Esther. Leg cramped. Right calf. I could feel the muscle in a place it wasn’t supposed to be. Not a good sign. Thought today was going to be bad. It may have been… a little bit. Again, for the most part it was good. Tiresome though…

I’ve been trying to get back into gaming but… eh. It’s sort of why I wanted to start streaming. So I could have a REASON to get back into gaming. It’s not a good way, but it’s something. In fact, I should probably embrace not gaming. It might help. Idk.

You know, I don’t ever get to share what I want to share. I know I’ll forget something but… Eh. I’m going to watch a French-Iranian movie called “Persepolis.” I just downloaded a picture quoting the movie so I figured I’d enjoy the source material. After, might play a game of… something and go to bed. Idk. Tomorrow, I don’t work. :D

Persepolis… was a really good movie. Though, I think it hinted that she (Marjane Satrapi) was raped at one point? Two men and she was sleeping in an alleyway. I hope she wasn’t. :/

I liked how in the movie, she wasn’t afraid to portray herself as the villain. She acknowledged what she was doing was wrong. As a child wanting to gouge out the eyes of another child and other instances into adulthood. Heavy stuff. Of course, some cases… she did what she had to. Still, she regretted what she had done afterwards but she acknowledged that they were wrong. She didn’t hide her own injustices.

As a Communist, that’s good. In a debate, Stalin and Mao are inevitably brought up. Can’t deny they happened, can only educate as to WHY it happened. If the fools you’re debating refuse to learn then they aren’t looking for a debate but a confrontation. You won’t sway minds because they’re not offering their minds to be swayed. They have nothing on their mind beyond, “You’re the enemy” despite not knowing why.

There is a lot of history. Concerning imperialism over Iran, the war with Iraq, the religious dictatorship. Marx said religion was the opiate of the masses. I wonder if Satrapi is a practicing Muslim. Wouldn’t be surprised… she thought she’d be a prophet when she got older. Have sections where she spoke to god directly. Then there was Karl Marx, which was interesting. Apparently, after doing a bit of research, she compared Marx to God? Yeah, that sounds like something ripe with controversy.

Still, as I said, I wasn’t expecting much communism in the movie. I mean, the picture I downloaded… it says “Love is a petty bourgeois emotion” with Marjane looking at a dog. I thought the movie was going to be about something else, I didn’t realize the heavy political undertone. I like how everyone but Marjane and her mother have American accents. They both have Iranian accents. Of course, the religious guard have actually… kind of soft and gentle American accents. If it wasn’t for the fact that they were the bad guys, they’d be… adorable.

They all look the same and when they’re not harassing people, they seem quite earnest. Weird to say. Like, they confront Marjane because she’s running and that makes her butt jiggle. She explodes at them (love a strong woman) and they’re confused and almost sad. Again, these guys are all interchangeable with one another. Not sure if that’s intentional or not.

I hope… my books sell well enough to the point that I can contact Marjane. Ask her questions, trade ideas… She is the Frida of my generation. An incredible and deep artist with Communist tendencies? Yes, please. And I think her and her family are terribly clever. I respect that.

I feel like I’ve been getting more dumb lately. Spelling errors, punctuation errors, etc. I’m slipping.

I also want to talk to her now. I need… guidance. Someone who can understand me. She had depression and I certainly do. We have different backgrounds but I get her. Of course, she parties a bit more than I do. She’s not a social outcast, now that I think about it… but she is a wide eyed dreamer. Typical communist, I know. ;)

I’m not like Marjane. Maybe she won’t understand me, now that I think about it. But we are likeminded… perhaps a better word but eh. Could just be wishful thinking.

Eh… I found a page on facebook… as well as facebook profiles. There are tons. Think adding her is too personal. I liked the public page. I want to send her a message but… what would I say?

Hi, I’m a young 20 something with NOTHING happening in my life and I feel like a chronic failure. Our only similarities is that we’re both communists and struggle or used to struggle with depression! Please respond!

I… don’t like messaging famous people. I feel like I’m just… trying to get attention. I don’t like being noticed by the streamer while watching twitch for similar reasons. I feel a lot of guilt for something totally irrelevant.

So… I ended up venting in a stream. Mentioned that I want to message Marjane. Someone told me that if I were to ask for guidance ask if she has time to chat. I just discovered her. That’s… rushing things, I guess? I don’t know. Maybe I should research her more? I don’t know. I don’t know anything. :/

Ugh… I’m caught at a bad time. Very bad time. But that’s life, eh? I’m going to go to bed. Maybe… maybe I’ll message Marjane tomorrow. Talk to her… share my story… Or something, I don’t know. All that I know is that I know nothing.

Time is 11:50.

I was offered a job at work today. Discount Tire. Overtime is 20 per hour. Not sure what it means for regular pay but it’ll be better than Dollar General. I’m excited.

I’ve been feeling very… inspired, I guess. Not necessarily inspired positively or negatively just more susceptible to emotions. When I found out I’ve been noticed, I was just agape with joy. I was hoping earlier that it’d happen to me because I was thinking the universe was turning against me. That maybe I wouldn’t get the chance to see Ariel. My frivolous spending spree has set me back by a lot… I won’t get a card until next week. I’ll call the number and get set up.

I’m excited. More money means Ariel comes sooner… but I also said I wanted to leave. I’d leave later because this would be a more serious job. Maybe I could get it when I come back? If I come back? I don’t know. I’ll see how I feel.

0 notes

esteliensmainblog · 6 years

Text

childhood embarrassing moments and other questionnaires

25. What was the one embarrassing moment in your school life that you won’t forget ?

I’ll probably forget all of these eventually, and I’m sure I’ve forgotten tons already, but I do have some stories.

Like that time the lights weren’t working in the girls’ restroom and all we had (pre- cell phones) was my toy unicorn whose pink forehead gem was a button you could push and it would light up and she’d say things like, “You’re my best friend. I’ll take you anywhere.” But you couldn’t really use the horse and do your business at the same time, so we had to work together. It sucked. (Side note: I want to figure out what that horse was called... message me if you know?)

One time in middle school, I had an issue with my shorts. I was always careful to stay within the dress code, but one day, a male teacher took me aside during class and told me that my shorts were showing “something we don’t want to see.” I still don’t know what it was.

Once in elementary school, we had a substitute teacher who was seriously ancient and incapable of doing her job. Apparently my bathroom stall door hadn’t locked properly, because she walked in on me.

I got my first period in fourth grade. Thick stretch pants in the worst shade of purple. I still can’t stand that color. We had handbell practice that day. It was horrifying.

In high school, I was still working on the whole “don’t just say whatever you’re thinking” thing. The guy behind me put his feet up on the sides of my desk. I asked him to put them down, because they smelled terrible. He left the room, ticked off, and the teacher had a talk with me. I wasn’t the type to accidentally be mean to someone, so I was kind of mortified and had to run and apologize. Besides that, I was new at the school (compared to most of the class), so I hadn’t really been accepted yet.

At the same school, I once drew a picture of one of the older students, just to practice drawing, and because I had a photo to work from because my dad took pictures at the school play. I went to tell her I’d drawn a picture of her, and she gave me this look of disgust and said something that made it sound like she thought it was super creepy and gross that I’d do that. It was an ”I’m just gonna melt into the floor now bye" moment.

Majoring in a foreign language means making some embarrassing mistakes. The worst of mine was in this class where we had to write a really serious essay. I don’t know what the prompt was, but most of us wrote about hugely important and serious things we were going through (like one girl wrote about her far-too-much-older boyfriend). Usually, if someone made a funny mistake, a different professor would just point it out in writing or quietly, but this teacher wasn’t afraid to embarrass students in front of the class. My dictionary fail was, in this case, too problematic to even say in front of the class (and I was the prof’s TA so she was less savage with me), so she called me into her office. What I meant to say was that someone (a respected mentor) kept saying he/she would do something, but then would never follow through. The verb I found for “follow through” meant in a sexual way.

On a much lighter note, in early elementary school, the mean girls started a rumor that they’d seen me kissing my crush under the desks.

But more embarrassingly, to get back at one of those bullies (not for that specific incident), I once prank called her late at night. Again, nobody had cell phones at the time, so it was the landline. I didn’t know about *69. Her mom called back.

One time in middle school, I got my period and wasn’t prepared, so two girls went with me to the office to ask for a pad. (They weren’t friends of mine, and had been jerks to me and my friends for years. I’m guessing they tagged along because they were curious or amused?) The lady working there was gigantic. She gave me what is, to this day, the largest pad I have ever seen in my life. We’re talking the length and width of at least four normal pads combined. And those girls walked all the way back to the restroom with me where I had to try to put it on.

50 questions you’ve never been asked tag

1. What’s your favorite candle scent? Cinnamon, but it has to be the artificial cinnamon smell and it has to be strong. I want candles that smell like Red Hots or those pinecones they put in the entrance of Michael’s and Giant Eagle every Christmas.

2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister? None of them.

3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother? None of them.

4. How old do you think you’ll be when you get married? Rather not think about it.

5. Do you know a hoarder? Unfortunately.

6. Can you do a split? Nope.

7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike? Idk, some normal age.

8. How many oceans have you swam in? One

9. How many countries have you been to? One besides where I’m from

10. Is anyone in your family in the army? Yes

11. What would you name your daughter if you had one? That’s a secret

12. What would you name your son if you had one? “

13. What’s the worst grade you got on a test? Probably F. Mostly got A’s but who knows.

14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child? There were so many. As Told By Ginger stands out, though. And basically every cartoon.

15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight? Sure.

16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series? Harry Potter, and I’m working on the Hunger Games.

17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent? I’m fine with how I talk. British is weird and neat too.

18. Did your mother go to college? Nope

19. Are your grandparents still married? Only one alive

20. Have you ever taken karate lessons? No

21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is? Not a clue. Never heard of dat boi.

22. What’s the first amusement park you’ve been to? The person who wrote this quiz must be ten. I can’t remember these things.

23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in? Already fluent in French. Would like to learn basically any other language. Japanese or Korean would be cool. I’m also a fan of made-up languages. I really like Trigedasleng from The 100, since it’s like a fun creole of English.

24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray? Both. Yup.

25. Is your father bald? No

26. Do you know triplets? No

27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook? Never seen either

28. Have you ever had Indian food? Weirdly, only stuff I’ve cooked, so it doesn’t count.

29. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant? It’s this Japanese place that’s soooo good.

30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden? I aint never heard a’ no olives in the .. gardens.. Yes. Obviously, yes.

31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ’s, etc.)? No. Paying to shop is dumb.

32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender? Dunno

33. If you have a nickname, what is it? Anyone reading this either already knows or doesn’t need to know

34. Who’s your favorite person in the world? I’m lucky enough to have a few. Two best friends, two nephews, a big family..

35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs? Suburbs

36. Can you whistle? No

37. Do you sleep with a nightlight? No

38. Do you eat breakfast every morning? Yes

39. Do you take any pills or medication daily? Yes

40. What medical conditions do you have? Dude

41. How many times have you been to the hospital? Umm. Once to be born, probably once when I broke my arm, once a few days after a bike accident.. That might be all.

42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo? Seriously, you are ten.

43. Where do you buy your jeans? Thrift stores

44. What’s the last compliment you got? It was from an online quiz. I’m in extreme summer introvert mode.

45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning? Yes. Thanks, meds.

46. What flavor tea do you enjoy? Plain black is good, but I grew up on apricot tea (black with a slight apricot flavor), so that’s always been my favorite. They’d put it in my sippy cup.

47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own? I don’t want to move, let alone go count my shoes.

48. What religion will you raise your children to practice? Christianity

49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real? Idk, I don’t remember ever believing he was real?

50. Why do you have a youtube? What does this sentence mean?

Some random questions :P

1. What’s your height ? Short

2. Which season is your favorite ? Spring and fall

3. Writing, art or chatting ? All of the above

4. Pokemon, long live, Digimon, YoKai watch, Barbie, Doraemon ? That second one is a song, though, right? Whatever. Digimon and Pokemon, in that order.

5. Burgers or pizza ? Pizza, unless the burgers have roasted onions and peppers, in which case, burgers.

6. What’s your sexual orientation ?

7. If you could change 3 things in the world, what could they be ? Everybody everywhere would get free health care, somehow the racists etc. learn and we all treat each other like we’re on the same team, everybody everywhere has the opportunity to make enough money to live on.

8. Any fictional character that you will love to cosplay ? It might be fun to dress as Asuna? But because of the creepy stuff in the second part of the show, I’m not going to do that.

9. Do you sleep with any stuff toy by your side ? No

10. Do you live alone ?

11. Describe the surroundings around your home.

12. What will be your dream profession ? Getting to come up with ideas and not having to follow through with making them happen - somebody else does that part. Also playing video games most of the time.

13. Which vegetable you HATE the most ? I don’t hate any veggie I’ve tried.

14. Which vegetable you LOVE the most ? Idk, lots of them are good. Recently learned how to roast sweet potatoes and woah.

15. Ever eaten bitter gourd ? No

16. Strawberries or blackberries ? Strawberries

17. Number of friends on tumblr. Three, off the top of my head.. idk

18. What’s is the one thing that you want to change in yourself ? I need to figure out how to keep up with dishes, and generally have better motivation. My variety of depression keeps the motivation preeeetty low, even with meds.

19. Ever went underwaters ? Dude

20. Mom or dad ? With whom you’re much bonded to ? You just forgot how to speak English, but okay. Dad.

21. Number and age of siblings ? One sister. Very older.

22. Ever met any actor or actress in real ? No, but I heard Billy Boyd sing at an orchestra or something. Freaking amazing.

23. Who you want to meet NOW ? It’s after midnight, so. nah.

24. What are your casual wears ? My sister got me this incredible dress-like thing that might be technically a swimsuit coverup. It’s cute and sleeveless and has a hood and it’s so comfy.

25. (moved to top)

26. Are you curious about certain anons ? Huh?

27. What’s the one thing that you’ll always regret for ? Probably some of my purchases. Nothing big, but I just look at things and think, if I hadn’t bought that, I could have spent the money on video games or food.

28. When you’re excited, which word you speak out mostly ? Idk? “Oh my gosh”?

29. Had crush on any of your friends in school life? Is he/she still your crush ? Not really and no

30. Do you celebrate Halloween ? Which costume did you wore last time ? I don’t “celebrate” what it’s about, but dressing up in costumes is super fun. The last couple Halloweens I haven’t dressed up, but I know I’ve been Lucille Ball and Anna (from Frozen) a few times.

31. What’s your lucky number and lucky color ? ? I like purple.

32. What never bores you ? Technically, nothing. But I love video games and dinosaurs and languages.

33. What you hate the most ? I’m suuuuper sensitive, so lots of sensory things like sounds and flashing lights and when people bump into me and bad smells. Also washing dishes. Because it’s way too sensory and all the feels are unpleasant (bad smells, dirty hands, unexpected loud noises, the stress of feeling like I can’t keep up, etc.).

34. Do you believe in ghosts and spirits ? Want to meet one ? No

35. What’s a common name that you’re often called from ? From?

36. In your eyes, who’s the most popular blog irrespective of the number of followers it has ? I probably don’t follow them. The more popular ones I follow are Dan and Phil, Seth Everman, shower thoughts...

37. Do you know languages other than English ? French, and teeny bits of Japanese, Elvish, and Trigedasleng. Ge smak daun, gyon op nodotaim.

38. What’s the thing you’ll always cherish ? The mems Also the memes

39. Describe your personality in 5 words. Definitely too tired for this

40. Your Myers Briggs personality type ? INFP

41. Introverted, ambiverted or extroverted ? Very introverted in all situations

42. Are you left-handed, ambidextrous or right-handed ? Right

43. Do you use alarm clock to wake yourself up ? Phone

44. Read newspapers, magazines ? Not really

45. Ask any question… Why?

~ This or that

🌹 - loyal / 💔 - heartbreaker 🎉 - social / 💤 - antisocial 🍎-feminine / 🍏-masculine / 🍐-androgynous ⭐️ - night owl / 🐦 - early bird (permanently exhausted pigeon) 🐶 - dog person / 🐱 - cat person 😎 - sunny days / 💧- rainy days ✨ - stargazing / ☁️ - butt watching (CLOUD TO BUTT CHROME EXTENSION DOES IT AGAIN!) 🍉 - healthy food / 🍔 - comfort food 🎨 - artistic / ✏️ - logical ❤️ - affectionate / 💛 - reserved

rules: the questions deliberately come in pairs. instead of me answering all the questions, I want you to pick a pair, answer one of the questions and I’ll answer the other. (Yes, I don’t care.)

1A Are you going through a personal struggle right now? Nothing big. It’s mostly family stuff right now. 1B Do you have someone in your life you can share your struggles with? Yes!

2A Who are you? Parasauro1ophus 2B Who do you want to be? Parasaurolophus (it was taken, but now it’s not, but tumblr won’t let me have it.)

3A What do you want to do before you die? Help people 3B What if you found out you were going to die tomorrow? I’d try to get things in order to make things as easy as possible for the people who will have to deal with my possessions. Then I’d spend the day with friends and family and not tell them, but make sure they knew how special they were.

4A What do you spend too much time doing? Video games 4B What is a new habit you want to form? Exercise

5A What is one question you would ask a fortuneteller? Is it free? 5B What do you wish you knew more about? Most things

6A What does success mean to you? Helping people and not hurting people 6B what is your next great adventure? Who knows. Probably a new job and apartment and town.

7A What is your biggest fear? I don’t like the dark much. Also afraid of bears and someone breaking in. 7B Where do you find peace? .... Video games. No, seriously. I know it’s escapism. But take this week for example. I was at my parents’ house for a lot of days. I was constantly busy, between cooking for them, helping get rid of stuff, trying to keep my mom a little more emotionally stable, visiting family, visiting friends, etc. I didn’t get any alone time. I’m seriously introverted and am now very accustomed to living alone. So being there, I got to the point where I just had my head down on the kitchen table and wouldn’t say or do anything. I got home and accidentally slept til noon (which I never do), then spent three full days immersed in video games, Netflix, and YouTube. I just have to recharge sometimes.

8A Describe a turning point in your life Halfway through my first year of teaching, I finally acknowledged that I was struggling with depression, and I told a few people I trusted. Got to a doctor and started the process of finding meds and a therapist. I’m doing so much better now than I had been since early high school. It didn’t happen all at once, but that road to - I don’t want to say recovery, but at least being able to kind of function - was so worth it. 8B What are you looking forward to? Tomorrow, since it’s Saturday and I don’t have to be anywhere. Maybe the grocery store if anything. Maybe I’ll paint. Or put the carpet back down.

9A What do you think about when you wake up? What I dreamed about and how crappy I feel and whether I can possibly keep sleeping a while longer. 9B Where would you like to wake up tomorrow? Here.

10A What object would you save if your house was on fire? Phone so I could call 911. Maybe my very few belongings that are worth something, if I had time. 10B What would make you happy right now? Another ice cream sandwich would be nice. It would also be a bad idea.

11A What are your priorities at the moment? Helping parents get rid of things. Otherwise, serious resting before I have to get ready for the next school year. 11B What age do you wish you could permanently be? 25-26 was pretty nice. I feel like I’ve started aging now.

12A What’s the farthest you’ve ever been from home? France 12B What are you interested in that most people haven’t heard of? Not much, since “most people” is hard to define. But some of my favorites are pretty specific? Like I play the ukulele, which is so mainstream, but I specifically play the baritone, which most people don’t know about. It’s less trendy, the tuning is different from all other ukes, and it’s the biggest kind. I love it. I guess Runescape also counts as something most people haven’t heard of, since it’s pretty specific to people close to my age and is really old now (but still thriving!). Fly For Fun was an all-time favorite video game too, from back in high school. The official game (an MMORPG) is pretty dead now, and even when it was still big, nobody I knew had heard of it.

13A What songs have you completely memorized? Happy Birthday? Not many. 13B What pets did you have while you were growing up? A fish, then a dog.

14A What is a relationship deal breaker for you? There are so many. The red flag I always say to look for first is how he treats waiters, his mom, and elderly people. 14B Would you ever take back someone who cheated? why/why not? 99% of the time, no, but situations can be complicated.

15A What was the best phase of your life? Adulthood. 20 was the most significant milestone for me. Turning 13 or 16 or 18 or 21 didn’t matter much. Not being a teen was the best. 15B What was the worst phase of your life? All the teenage years

#questionnaires #embarrassing stories from when i was in school

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