#i. am like. borderline about to breakdown. i like. couldnt tell till like 5 mins ago.

[pizzapizzadickz]

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#diary #personal #drugs tw #i. am like. borderline about to breakdown. i like. couldnt tell till like 5 mins ago. #like yeah i knew i was feeling tired and shit. but i didnt know i was feeling this bad... #idk. if stuff gets too hard. ill probably have to get high? like. i might not. but. im not sure how ill function tomorrow if i dont? #idk. im not super bad but i can tell im like. about to get locked and ill have to fall asleep that way. #idk im about ready to curl into a ball and die. i wanna scream. i wann flail and hit myself #self harm #i wanna cry. i feel like. i dont even know. #like. im. idk. i just. idk. AHHH THIS IS DISTRESSING ME MORE PUTTING THINGS INTO WORDS SO IMMA STOP FUCK #Seriously tho why cant i tell when i am getting upset. itd be very helpful to know like. 30 mins in advance at least. #LIKE IM NOT TRYING TO IGNORE IT I JUST DONT NOTICE HOW BAD IT IS ACTUALLY. #...at least im not in the garage rn working.... cuz i always breakdown big there. #last time i did i was sobbing and hitting myself. the works really? #idk. i should be okay tomorrow. or today if i get high. ill just have to see if im gettimg better staying the same or getting worse. #haaah. im so tired. i dont wanna wake up or bother with anything tomorrow