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#i'm supposed to start my internship through my college next week
miodiodavinci · 8 months
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well 😔 after literally 3+ years of masking and double masking with N95s and KN95s and social distancing and not going anywhere where i can't be assured i won't be in close proximity to someone with COVID ya boy got COVID , , , ,
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loveroftoomanyfandoms · 11 months
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Angel of God, My Guardian Dear Chapter 7: Matt
Rating: Explicit (18+, MINORS DNI)
Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader
Story Summary: While speaking at a local school for visually impaired youth, Matt runs into his childhood best friend, with whom he lost touch almost 20 years prior.
Warnings/Tags: None.
Word Count: ~2,900
A/N: None.
"Hey, how'd it go?" Foggy asked as soon as Matt walked into the office on Tuesday.
"It went great," Matt replied. "Judge Garcia found in favor of Mr. Perry and awarded punitive damages for harassment and illegal eviction on top of granting the injunction."
Foggy huffed out a laugh. "That's great and all, but I actually meant how’d it go with Y/N on Sunday."
"Oh, that! Yeah, that actually went really well too. As expected, she and my mother were both thrilled to see each other."
"And Y/N's aunt?"
"That went surprisingly well too. She wants to meet me." 
Foggy snorted. "Better late than never, right?"
Matt chuckled. "I suppose so. She invited me to come down to Florida when Y/N goes there to visit next month."
"That's great, man. I hope everything goes well."
"Me too." Matt grinned. "I can’t wait for you to meet Y/N tonight. You and Karen are both going to love her, I just know it.”
“I’m sure we will.” 
"So how did the meeting with Mr. Daniels go yesterday?"
Foggy scoffed. "What the insurance company was offering would barely even cover his lost wages, much less his medical bills, so he wants to go ahead and pursue his suit against his former company.”
"Okay."
"I have to run by the Clerk's office so I can file the paperwork before they close, so I'm gonna leave a bit early and will just meet you and Y/N at Josie's."
Matt nodded. "Okay, that's fine."
He headed into his office and set his things down, then set to work on his tasks for the day.
Luckily the day went pretty quickly, and before Matt knew it there was a knock on his door.
"Hey, I'm heading out," Foggy said. "I'll see you in a bit."
Matt nodded. "Okay, see you."
He continued drafting his answer to a lawsuit being filed against another client -- this one a woman who had been involved in a car accident but wasn't actually at fault -- and had just sent it off when he heard Y/N's footsteps coming up the stairs.
He stood and stepped out of his office as she entered the lobby. "Hi, angel."
Y/N walked over to him and gave him a kiss. "Hi, sweetheart. Ready to go?"
Matt nodded. "Yeah, just a second."
He grabbed his suit jacket and cane and shut his office light off. "All set."
"So how was your day?" Y/N asked as they headed downstairs.
"Not bad," Matt replied, opening the outer door and letting Y/N out first before locking it behind them. "Managed to get a lot accomplished. How was yours?"
"It was good. I finally finished getting my summer reading rewards mailed out to all of the students that participated and got started on the article about White Cane Day for our monthly newsletter."
"That's great."
Y/N took his hand as they headed down the sidewalk. "So you said you and Foggy have been going to Josie's since college?"
Matt nodded. "Yeah. Josie's Tuesday 2-for-1 draft beer special got us through many finals weeks and most of our internship."
Y/N let out a light laugh. "My friends and I had a similar hangout in Florida while we were studying for our comprehensive exams, except we went to 'Wine-Down Wednesdays'."
She gave his hand a squeeze. "As great as my study group was though, you were always my favorite study buddy."
Matt smiled. "You were mine too."
He stopped as they reached Josie's, the familiar smell of cheap beer and stale peanuts in the air. "We're here."
"Hey, there you are!" Foggy said cheerfully as Matt guided Y/N towards their usual booth. "Karen texted and said she had a last-minute interview for the paper so she's running late, but is on her way."
Matt nodded. "That's fine."
He gave Y/N's hand a squeeze. "Foggy, I'd like you to meet Y/N. Y/N, this is Foggy."
"It's so nice to meet you," Y/N said. "Matt's told me so much about you."
"Likewise," Foggy said. "You were pretty much all he talked about during college."
"Aww, really?"
Matt shrugged. "We talked about our childhoods a lot, and you were an integral part of mine."
He gave Y/N a quick kiss. "I'm gonna go grab a drink. You want one?"
"Yeah, sure."
"Foggy?"
"Yeah, I'll take a whiskey."
Matt headed to the bar as Y/N and Foggy sat.
"So Matt said you're a librarian?" he heard Foggy ask.
"Yeah, I'm the children's librarian with the Heiskell Braille and Talking Book Library," Y/N replied. 
"That sounds like it must be fun."
"Yeah, it is. I love being able to work with the kids and foster a love of reading in them." Matt could hear the smile in Y/N's voice. "And it all started with Matt."
He turned back towards the bar as the bartender approached.
"What can I getcha?" the bartender asked. 
"Two whiskeys on the rocks and an amaretto sour," Matt replied, handing over his credit card. "And I'd like to start a tab."
"Okay, one second."
Matt waited until their drinks were poured then headed back over to their booth. "Here you go," he said, setting the drinks down and taking a seat next to Y/N.
"Thanks, sweetheart," Y/N said.
"So Y/N was telling me that you were her very first library patron," Foggy added. 
Matt chuckled. "I guess I was, wasn't I? We certainly spent a lot of our free time together reading in the library."
"I'm surprised Matt didn't eventually get sick of the sound of my voice," Y/N added jokingly.
Matt shook his head and smiled over at her. "Never, angel."
He turned as Karen walked up. "Hey, Kare."
"Hey, Matt," Karen replied, setting her purse down and sliding into the booth next to Foggy. "Sorry I'm late." 
Matt shook his head. "It's fine. I'd like you to meet Y/N, my girlfriend."
"Hi," Y/N said. "It's nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you too," Karen replied. "So, what'd I miss?"
"Not much," Foggy said. "We haven't gotten to the embarrassing childhood stories yet."
Y/N laughed. "There's not really many of those, but has Matt ever told you about the time we set a mouse loose in Sister Bernadette's office?"
Foggy and Karen both laughed. "No, he hasn't," Foggy said.
"Well, we had just gotten back from recreation time…"
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
"...You stole a bottle of wine? " Foggy gasped out later as Y/N recounted the time she and Matt had snuck into the church's storeroom.
"They had just gotten a shipment in from the diocese, so I figured they wouldn't miss one bottle," Y/N said with a laugh. "Besides, it was Matt's 17th birthday and we were stuck indoors because of a snowstorm -- how else were we going to celebrate?"
"How did you manage to not get caught?" Karen asked in wonder.
"I distracted Father Reynolds with an impromptu confession so Y/N could sneak out," Matt replied. "I told him that I wanted to start my 17th year on Earth with a clean spiritual slate, so to speak, so it was very urgent, couldn't wait until later."
He grinned. "Totally worth the penance."
Y/N laughed. "We waited until everyone had gone to bed that night then drank it together in Matt's room while we ate the cake Sister Maggie had let me bake for him. Wasn't quite the celebration I had originally planned for my bestie's birthday, but I don't think it turned out too bad, do you, Matty?"
Matt shook his head. "It was great."
Y/N's phone began to ring. "It's my aunt," she said. "Sorry, I'll be right back."
Matt nodded. "Okay."
Y/N slid out of the booth as she answered. "Hello? Hey, Aunt Ruth, what's up? No, I'm out with Matt and a couple of his friends, but it's okay…"
Matt turned to Foggy and Karen as Y/N headed outside to talk to her aunt. "Well? What do you think?"
"I like her," Foggy said. 
"Me too," Karen agreed. 
Matt smiled in relief. "Good."
"She seems really nice." Karen took a sip of her drink. "And I think it's really sweet that she became a librarian because of you."
Matt chuckled. "Honestly she probably would've gone into library science anyway, but yeah, it's nice to know that she never forgot about me just like I never forgot about her."
Karen reached out and patted Matt's hand. "I'm really happy for you, Matt."
"Thank you."
"Sorry about that," Y/N said as she walked back up. 
"It's fine," Matt replied. "Everything okay with your aunt?"
"Oh, yeah, she's good. She was just calling to ask me the name of an author I had told her about the other day so she could suggest them at her book club meeting tomorrow."
"Ah, okay."
Karen finished her drink and stood. "I still have some research to do for my article before I turn it in tomorrow so I need to run, but it was so nice to meet you, Y/N."
"Yeah, you too," Y/N replied. "And my offer to help with future research still stands. We have some databases that you might not otherwise have access to."
"Yeah, I'll definitely take you up on that soon."
Foggy finished his drink as well. "Hey Kare, if you wait up just a second I'll walk you home."
"Okay, thanks."
"You ready to head out too?" Matt asked Y/N.
"Sure," Y/N replied. "I'm ready if you are."
Matt stood and took Y/N's hand, stopping by the bar to close out his tab before they all headed outside. 
"It was really nice meeting you both," Y/N said once they reached the sidewalk.
"Same here," Foggy replied, "especially after hearing about you for so long."
Y/N chuckled. "Next time you'll have to tell me more about Matt's wild college years." 
Foggy huffed out a laugh. "Absolutely, if you tell me more about the pranks you and he used to pull on the nuns at St. Agnes."
"Of course. There were some fun ones."
Foggy clapped Matt on the shoulder. "'Night, you two."
Matt nodded. "'Night, Foggy. 'Night, Karen."
"Good night," Karen replied, giving him a brief hug.
"So, are you ready to call it a night?" Matt asked as Karen and Foggy headed down the street together. 
"Actually… I was thinking we could do dinner since it's still early?" Y/N replied.
Matt nodded with a smile. "What do you have in mind?"
"My place? I can make us something to eat… And maybe you could stay the night if you want?"
Matt wrapped his arms around Y/N's waist and gave her a kiss. "That sounds perfect. Maybe we can stop by my apartment on the way to yours so I can grab some clothes and stuff for tomorrow though?"
"Yeah, absolutely." Y/N slipped her hand into Matt's as they headed towards his apartment. "By the way, I really liked Karen and Foggy."
Matt smiled and gave her hand a squeeze. "They liked you too."
"Glad I got the seal of approval." Y/N paused. "Oh, that reminds me, I gave Aunt Ruth our flight information and she insisted on picking us up from the airport."
Matt chuckled. "Can't wait to cross-examine me, huh?"
Y/N let out a light laugh. "Actually I'm pretty sure it's more like she wants to make a good impression on my 'handsome, successful' boyfriend."
Matt shook his head with a soft smile. "Well in that case, I guess I can't argue."
They made it to Matt's building and headed up to his apartment.
"Would you mind pulling a suit out for me to wear tomorrow?" he asked as they headed towards his bedroom.
"No problem," Y/N replied. "Does it matter which one?"
Matt shook his head. "No, whichever one you choose is fine. Garment bag is at the back of the closet."
He grabbed his gym bag and placed a pair of socks and boxers in it, then headed into his bathroom for his toiletry bag, electric shaver and comb before walking back into his bedroom.
"All set?" Y/N asked as she zipped up his garment bag.
"Yep," Matt replied. "Ready to go."
"Want me to get us an Uber?"
"Sure."
Y/N tapped at her phone. "Okay… there's one just a couple of minutes away."
Matt nodded. "Okay."
They headed back downstairs, exiting Matt's building just as their Uber arrived, and a short ride later, they were pulling up to Y/N's apartment building. 
"How does baked chicken sound for dinner?" Y/N asked as they entered her apartment. 
Matt nodded. "That's fine."
"Okay, make yourself comfortable and I'll get it started."
Matt dropped his bags off in Y/N's bedroom then headed back to her kitchen, making his way to her sink to wash his hands. "How can I help?"
Y/N opened a cabinet and pulled out a couple of wine glasses and an electric corkscrew. "Can you grab a bottle of wine out of the door of the fridge behind you and to the left and uncork it for me, let it breathe for a bit?"
Matt nodded. "Sure thing."
He grabbed a bottle of wine and opened it, the subtly oaky aroma of pinot noir filling his senses. "What else?"
"Umm, could you prep the salad ingredients?"
"Sure."
Y/N handed him a knife and set a tomato and cucumber on a cutting board in front of him. "Lettuce is already in the bowl."
Matt nodded and got to chopping, finishing just as Y/N placed the chicken into her oven to bake. 
He wiped his hands on a dishtowel. "Anything else?"
Y/N took the cutting board and placed it in her sink. "Nope, that's it. You want to go sit while dinner is cooking?"
Matt shook his head and pulled his phone out of his pocket, finding the icon for the classical playlist he sometimes listened to when alone at the office.
He set his phone on the counter and wrapped his hands around Y/N's waist as a soft melody began. "Or you can dance with me instead?"
Y/N hummed and turned in his arms. "You know, that does sound like a much better idea."
Matt took Y/N's hand in his and pulled her close, pressing their joined hands to his chest as they began to sway. "You remember the last time we danced together?"
Y/N gave a hum of affirmation. "Sure do. The church's annual St. Valentine's dance, 2002." 
Matt nodded. "I had told you that I wanted to ask this girl that I really liked to go with me but that I was nervous because I had never danced with anyone before and was afraid I'd mess up, so you offered to practice with me so I'd feel more comfortable dancing with her."
Y/N huffed out a laugh. "My motive in offering to practice with you wasn't completely selfless. I mean yeah, I wanted you to be happy and confident but also if you were interested in someone who clearly wasn't me then that was probably the closest I'd ever get to getting to dance with you, so I wasn't going to miss my chance."
"That's funny since I actually had been talking about you." Matt shook his head with a small smile. "I had come up with this grand plan in order to ask you to go with me, but when the time came to actually do it I chickened out and told you that I had asked the girl I liked to go with me but she had said no." 
He chuckled. "If I remember correctly you said she was 'obviously a dumbass' and offered to go with me instead so she could 'see what she was missing'." 
Y/N huffed out a laugh. "I was torn between wanting to kick some bitch's ass for breaking my best friend's heart and being relieved that I wouldn't have to see the boy I loved dancing with some other girl. I couldn't believe that she had turned you down, especially when I would've jumped at the chance to go with you."
"And I couldn't believe my luck. I screwed up my chance to ask you to go to the dance with me but wound up getting to go with you anyway."
Y/N gave Matt's hand that was joined with hers a squeeze. "I had a really great time that night, by the way."
Matt smiled softly. "Me too. The only thing that could've made it even better is if I had worked up the nerve to kiss you and tell you how I felt about you when I walked you back to your room after it was over."
Y/N hummed contently. "Well, you can kiss me now to make up for it if you want..."
Matt grinned at the teasing tone in Y/N's voice. "Gladly, angel."
He cupped her face in his hands and pressed his lips to hers.
"Mmm," he murmured as they broke apart. "Definitely worth the wait."
Y/N chuckled as the timer on her oven went off. "Continue this after dinner?"
"Oh, definitely." Matt gave Y/N one more kiss before letting her go. "We still have lots of missed opportunities to make up for, and I plan on making up for them all."
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solarsavoy · 2 years
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WIP Wednesday, Life in Retail
Even though it's already being posted, it isn't complete and is technically still a WIP. I've got a lot of plans for this series and have even made a bit of a timeline for it.
I plan on adding three surprise guests that start work at Convenience, one from the Assassination Classroom fandom! I also plan on drawing Nagisa in a costume for each week of October and am open to thoughts or suggestions for the first three weeks. It'll also interact with Kristmas Karma II in December when that starts up. For the most part, they don't cross with each other, but Life in Retail ch40 and Kristmas Karma II ch 24 will be very closely interconnected to the point of needing to be read together.
Which reminds me, I've added "Timeline Links" to anything in the AC universe that I've written that is canon compliant with the main anime and then continues on afterwards. I post these on the day they're supposed to happen, so you can pretend it's happening now while you read it. The Timeline Links are listed at the bottom of the end notes and will help guide anyone willing and wanting to follow the timeline through all the fics. Life in Retail will be sort of special as it is a long term fic and thus interacts with all of them. So keep an eye out for Timeline Links listed in the end notes if you aren't reading live. And if you've been keeping up with Life in Retail up to now, I'm sure you noticed the note in the beginning notes saying a Timeline Link was added to previous items, which will be unique to Life in Retail, so hopefully that helps. Of course, Life in Retail will be fine to read on its own for the karen stories. 😏 Which I'll try to add at least one karen story or retail specific irritations to each chapter. I hope I don't run out of ideas... 😅
Life in Retail will be a total of 52 chapters since there are 52 weeks in a year and if all goes well and I'm able to keep up with it, I'll start a Life in Retail II for a second year. So, lot's of plans.
The next story Life in Retail will directly interact with will be an ASD story (Any Ship Dates) for Karma and Gakushuu, which I'm sure some of you will really appreciate. (You know who you are.) I'm also considering doing an ASD fic for Sugino and Kanzaki at some point, but I haven't quite worked them into my version of the AC universe yet. This may be my muse telling me to wait, or my brain saying I need to slow down because it's already so complicated as it is. Even so, I really wanted to work them in somehow after my fic "For Your Amusement" that I did for Karmagisa week. (I know, inspired to write about a different ship than Karmagisa during Karmagisa week. -_-)
I think that's about all I've got planned that isn't a major spoiler. There will be a secret event in November, a fic that interacts and affects Life in Retail, and it's sad. 😟 Just know it's coming.
As for the coworkers, here are your hints if you'd like to try and guess who they are.
Employee 1 is 18, a couple years older than he is in the anime. I'm bringing him into this world from another place so I'm changing stuff up a bit so things in this world line up with his roles and interests in his original anime and he's going to be an archaeology student working on trying to find an internship, so his work at Convenience is temporary. He'll stick around until after Christmas though. All of them will, actually.
Employee 2 is from the Assassination Classroom fandom. If I give any other hints, it makes it obvious who it is, so that's it for hints on this one. 😅
Employee 3 is a young man looking to try and get into college to become a doctor. He works hard and this is his third job and he studies all the time to try and prepare for his entrance exams into college. So, his work is also temporary. Should line up with canon in his original anime though, so I'm pretty excited about this one. 😊
And finally, someone will be replacing those that leave when Life in Retail starts up for a second round in March of 2023. This one, however, I plan on making permanent. No hints available on this one as just about anything I say could give it away to those who know me. 😏
And that's it for WIP Wednesday! Let me know your thoughts and guesses for those first 3 employees. I will refrain from verifying anything on the fourth one that starts in part II though, because like I said, it'll be an easy guess for those who know me if I say anything.
See you tomorrow for the next cover of Life in Retail! (Edit: Which is surprisingly done already! Look at me go. ^^)
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adayin-the-life · 5 months
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Goodbye 2023
Dear 2023,
I know it's a month early, but honestly? I'll probably forget if I don't write to you right now. I've become quite forgetful (that honestly makes me sound like an old person - lol!).
What to say about you.
2023. You were an absolute rollercoaster of emotions. You pushed my boundaries in every way possible and have shown me so many beautiful things that I find it hard to sum you up so briefly and with so little words. Luckily, that's only a restriction for this paragraph, because we both know I'm going more in depth about certain events (predictability, eh? What a beautiful thing).
You started of rough, and I've come to accept that. Turns out, 2022 showed me the way to my dream internship, but failed to mention that wasn't the place I belonged in. It was a harsh truth to come to terms with, but sometimes that's just life. It did pave the way for what you were going to show me next: my (hopefully) last year of studying, and my new internship. This place already feels so much more like where I'm supposed to be, and has already started so much better. Fifteen special needs kids with vibrant personalities and aspirations and hope. There is so much hope. I hope you hand this beautiful gift you have given me to 2024, and tell them to handle it with care.
So, college wise, it hadn't been my year. But on so many levels it truly has.
One of those levels being music. My god, 2023, what have you been such a musical year. You took me all over the country (and beyond!) to see my favourite artists perform, watching them from up close or far away. I cannot express how grateful I am for that. I have spent so many days and nights just feeling absolutely free in this world of music that has surrounded me and is swallowing me whole.
And right when I was feeling the financial weight of the amazing summer you guided me towards, you made sure there was a place for me to earn money. A place that sort of became my second home in certain ways, but mostly because I now sleep there three nights a week. An all-boys boarding school, filled with rowdy teens going through puberty yet still being kids at heart. I'd never thought I would be able to stand my ground between all those boys, yet I really feel like part of the family at this school. And hey, let's be honest, the pay is very nice as well.
And I cannot thank you enough for my friends and family. Maintaining healthy relationships with friends is quite hard when you struggle with your own mental health, you showed me that. But you also showed me that hard work and love could truly level the bumps in that road. I've never felt so loved, so seen, so proud to be part of a community.
2023. If I have to describe you in one word, it would be "growth". You've thrown me in every situation to watch me grow and be the person I am today. You've challenged me, and I cannot thank you enough for that.
Dear 2023, it was an absolute blastt. I'll miss you dearly.
Dear 2024, are you ready?
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nowegood56789 · 10 months
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Where am I supposed to float away?
On June 23rd, I swayed my body to The fin.'s "Floating in the air" at Beijing Kiangjin Wine. I was born in a small county and came to Beijing alone for the first time to listen to the band I've loved for eight years on tour; the gorgeous, blinding lights in the Livehouse, the slightly ambiguous and playful bubbles, the music that shook my heart, and when the intro to "Floating in the Air" started, I didn't know that this song would run through my life for the rest of my life.
I'm a junior in college, and I'm actually in my fifth year of college because I changed my major and took a year off each for suicide. Six years at a crap college that made me miserable and filled my heart with hate had worn out all my heart. I no longer had the courage and energy to be as confident as I was when I was given the chance to start over, and I even paid a terrible price for it when I was so happy to have made a deal with fate for myself.
Since I left the National Theatre with my suitcase in tow and ran dustily to the subway line 2, my identity changed instantly from that of a traveler to that of a grey-headed homecoming person. In the two weeks since I returned to school, I had several interviews almost every day, had to wait for countless phone calls, had to gather courage many times, had to wander in despair, had to cry secretly without being noticed, and had to make decisions in a few moments that would affect my direction in the next few years. I was even offered an internship at one of the top academic institutions in China due to certain social connections that are hard to explain, but instead of nailing it, I ended up being severely humiliated by this society.
Tears flowed from one eye to the other, and the song "Floating in the air" by The fin. was playing in the headphones, “Where am I supposed to float away? I only wish it would be a long dream.”
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lizziesquire · 3 years
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law school diary no. 29481
just blasting some tswift live from paris and word vomit because i'm going to switch to corporations after this post and want a palate-cleanse of my brain and it's chilly and cloudy and it's just The Vibes
I'LL NEVER WALK CORNELIA STREET AGAIN!!! and baby, i'm so terrified of if you !! ever walk away!!!! ... except, I did. and I do often. i was with smile boy for 2, basically 3 years—i'd taken him everywhere throughout this city, to my favourite haunts, the places that have watched me figure out how to navigate this grid of a city and through the maze of west village and the drunken nights through lower east and. i do walk cornelia street. i do think about this song. i do think about him. i hope he's happy, i hope he's doing well, i hope he's not hurting. i didn't plan on dropping contact—we were supposed to stay friends and stay in touch... but, in hindsight, there's always reason behind the wisdoms that people and the internet try to throw at you about not talking for a little while after breaking up. our texts, however sporadic, had that same pull back to the relationship and. i feel settled into singledom now that we haven't spoken in a bit. now that i've uploaded many of our photos to my google drive and off of my phone, from the "Hidden" album. i'm focused on my schoolwork and upcoming internship and my kitty and my life in this apartment and in this city.
i. don't feel as stressed as i should be for finals. i've been quitting at 9/10/11 p.m. and getting in a workout and then going to bed instead of staying up until 3 a.m. as i normally would for finals season. but at the same time, i feel like i have a comfortable grasp of the material and i don't know how much of it is me assuring myself that i'll be fine despite the lack of my usual efforts or if my usual efforts of all-day study sessions without breaks was just Excessive and detrimental to me, overall, by feeding into my anxiety and perfectionism, coming around to ultimately hurt me, at the end of the day
it's just so hard to toe the line between doing enough in a healthful way and not doing enough under the guise of self-care when really it's procrastination. and. i just need to get out of my own head and just accept my decisions for what they are because. i can't go back and change the days that i'd gotten out of bed at noon and started work at 1/1:30 p.m. and even then, i studied until at least 9 p.m., which is 7.5 hours of studying!!! that's enough!! right!!! right!!!
i told my maman and papa last week that i'm just. Tired and all i want is to relax and be happy, that i did what i came to law school to do, and that i'm tired of trying for that A and just want to relax, live my life, and be average at school before graduating. and one part of me is happy with that, but the other part of me wonders how much of that is genuine. it feels! genuine, but this is a new self that i'm being introduced to, and i don't know if i necessarily like it, her. i like how she's happier than she ever was in college. i like how she's less lonely, eats more, gives herself more grace. but i do miss my old fire and determination and putting in the utmost effort for absolument everything. the girl who never half-assed anything, ever. it's tough. growing is tough. getting to know yourself is tough. but that's the point of life, eh? to figure all of this out?
do i really not want to eventually go into academia? do i really not care about clerking? or am i just giving up because i'm so tired of trying, trying, trying. i just don't know. and that's okay.
i'm genuinely curious to see how this exam season will treat me, in terms of grades. i have this feeling that being this relaxed, all things considered, may actually help (?) but who knows. i may open these exams and completely panic because i have no idea what's on them (?)
have to figure out what i want to take next year...............how did 2/3 of law school go by this quickly? and 3/4 of it on zoom! i'm going to miss virtual school. i'm going to miss saving on the commute and not having to get up early and being able to make meals right at home instead of meal-prepping and being with the kitties all the time. i'm going to miss going to class with no pants on and not being physically surrounded by exhausting gunners
but it'll be fun to be in-person with friends during 3L year.
anyway it's 2:59 and i'm going to grab a lil lunch and get back to work !
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cancerbiophd · 4 years
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hello! i was looking through your career stories tag and was inspired to ask for some advice of my own. lately i've been feeling very lost in undergrad. in high school, i was super successful, had goals and stuck to them, and had a path in mind. however, i ended up revising that plan a million times, and now i feel super behind in comparison to my peers. i feel like i lack a ton of skills and that i'm not where i should be (1/2)
(2/2) do you have any advice? and do you/your followers have any stories about people who were successful, got stuck in a rut, but found their way back? i keep reading stories about people who didn’t do well in school then found a successful career, but i never hear about people who were successful in school, got lost, then recovered, and it makes me wonder if there’s hope for me
Hi anon! (Thanks for sending in that 2nd part again after tumblr ate it the first time round)
I fee like I took a similar path to you, and before I launch into my story, here’s my advice on some things you can try:
Break the bad habit of comparing oneself to others. We are all unique, with unique pasts, presents, and futures. To compare two people’s achievements or lack of achievements is unfair. That’s giving an experimental treatment to a sick person and another to someone already healthy and then comparing the results directly to each other. Not a good scientific study huh. Well, we should look at our lives like that too. It’ll take time and practice and a lot of active thinking, but let’s all try our hardest not to compare ourselves to others. We are all carving out our own paths. 
Talk to others with experience and get their insight. Talk to your professors, your counselors, your parents, your parents’ friends, and even older students (like me!). Ask them for advice. Ask them what opportunities you have. Ask them what career choices one can make with your interests and goals. Basically, broaden your knowledge of what’s out there in the world so you can find a niche to fit in. I really wish I had done this because I was very myopic in that “interest in biomedicine” = “clinical doctor or bust!”. I didn’t know that I could go to grad school to study cancer research and then go work in a biotech company (my current path and goal). 
Once you find a career path that interests you, try to experience what “a day in the life of” is like. Because something that sounds great on paper may not be a good fit in person, and vice versa. Options for this include: volunteering, internships, entry-level jobs, shadowing, informational interviews (where you talk to someone in the field in a casual setting and ask them what their job is like), and well-rounded research. Doing things like working in the field or even shadowing also gives you the benefit of learning transferrable skills that could help you on your next step. And that brings me to:
Take a gap year (or a few) if you feel like you need it, especially if you need to gain more experience in a certain field. It’s also a great way to give your body and mind a well-deserved break after decades of school! I took a gap year (well, 2.5 years) to work and get lab experience and it was the best. 
Do not give yourself a timeline. This sounds… counter-intuitive, but what I mean is: do not set goals like “dream job at age 30!!” “a house at age 31!!” because they may be a) unrealistic, and b) could set us up for disappointment. Also, we need to realize that we don’t know what the future will bring, and that it’s also ok to take one’s time. We’re all gonna live until we’re 70-80 anyway right? So let’s just take things one step at a time. We’ll set goals and work towards them, yes, but let’s not set deadlines for ourselves. We’ve had enough deadlines in school already! 
Don’t give up. Things will be ok. I know it’s not.. super helpful for me to say this, but it’s a real point to make. No matter what happens, keep trying. We can’t reach the light at the end of the tunnel if we stop walking forward, yeah? 
I hope those points are helpful. If you’d like more detail, or have any other questions, please don’t hesitate to contact me!
Alright, now to my story, because I feel like I may have gone through the same thing you’re going through right now, so I want to let you know that times may get tough like it did for me, but if you keep going and trying, things will eventually be ok:
Just like you, I was pretty darn successful in high school, also did well in college (like good grades, had goals and met them, etc). I always knew my path was going to lead me somewhere amazing, because that’s how I was brought up my entire life. Then I got stuck in a rut because my original plan A (med school) turned out to not be right for me, and then plan B also turned out not right either (pharmacy school), and then I got straight out rejected from plan C (physician assistant school). I even had to change my major 3 times because of my change of plans (well, one change was because the US recession hit and my college had to cut my original program ugh), so I had to really cram my classes into the summer. I graduated college with a degree that wasn’t going to get me where I wanted to (B.S. in Microbiology, and jobs were still hard to find because of the recession, and basically nowhere to go. I had no job and had no idea what to do (or what I really wanted, really). So I moved back home with a feeling of emptiness that no end in sight. 
My plan was basically to find a job that would open doors for me in the biomedical field. I even got my pharmacy tech license, and I was applying to receptionist positions at clinics. It got to a point where I was so desperate I interviewed to be someone’s personal assistant and they were like “you are way too qualified for this I can’t hire you”. 
And I was so confused as to how I could’ve ended up on the wrong path. I mean, I knew what I did wrong (I didn’t do those point of advice I gave earlier because I didn’t know I had to do them). But I didn’t know how it went so wrong. How did I go from straight A/B’s and proactive student leader in a bunch of clubs to unemployed with no concrete plan in sight? I was bright. I was a hard worker. A fast learner. I knew I could be good at anything I did. This rut I was in wasn’t really supposed to happen. And all the while my friends were going to grad/med school or starting successful careers–a fact my narcissistic and emotionally abusive mother would remind me of every. waking. moment. She would scream at me every day that I was an embarrassment, a disappointment, a “poor investment”, etc. The look of pure hatred she would give me–I have never seen that on another person’s face ever. I couldn’t even see my friends because she essentially put me on house arrest as “punishment”. 
It really was absolute hell. I was cleaning some old storage boxes recently and I found my old diary from that time, and inside was a note. It was a note of despair and resentment and an ending that may have happened… I don’t remember how I got the strength to keep going, but I think I had conjured up the slightest sliver of hope that night, put down my pen, closed the journal, and went to bed. 
So, I kept at it. I studied for the GRE, I looked up grad school programs, and I kept applying to jobs in the biomedical field. I got picked up by a temp agency that was hiring out contract workers to local science companies, and even interviewed for a few available positions. Things were looking a bit better. 
Then I saw a job ad on craigslist looking for a research tech at a lab at my old college. I applied, interviewed, and was turned down. Bummer. Then my mother (in a rare moment of helpfulness) asked a friend of a friend who was a PI in a research institute in Florida if they wanted a totally free unpaid intern. I had a skype interview and they accepted, and I was getting ready to move halfway across the country to be a volunteer with a Bachelor’s degree when I got an email from another new PI at my old college. She had gotten my application from the first PI who I had interviewed with and wanted to meet to see if I could be her research tech. And then literally a week before I was supposed to move to Florida that PI told me she wanted to hire me. Oh thank god. I had graduated in May, and got hired at this position in October. Even though it was only 5 months, it felt like forever for me to finally find my way out of the dark cave and back into the light. 
This PI did research on cancer biomarkers. Working in her lab was one of the best things to ever happen to me: I got the lab experience I was missing, I found a love for cancer research in particular, I applied for (and got into) grad school to study Cancer Biology, and I met a coworker who eventually became my husband (and you betcha we invited the PI to our wedding and asked her to give a speech lol). 
I graduate (hopefully) next semester with my PhD in Cancer Biology, and my husband and I plan on moving to Seattle (a biotech hub) afterwards. I plan on getting a post-doc position at the Fred Hutch Cancer Center, then a scientist position at a local biotech company, and then see where that takes me. Life is good now. Things really did turn out ok. 
I’m so glad I never gave up. 
And I hope you won’t give up either, anon. I pray you don’t have to go through anything as tough but! Yes there’s still hope for you! There is always hope
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storyofmyownlife · 4 years
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End of The Decade
I started this about 9 years ago for a very simple reason-I was hooked on the tv show called Akward. Jenna, the main protagonist of the show, likes to write blogs about her life as a way to cope and express how she feels. Awe inspired, I decided to create my own anonymous blog with the hopes that cathartic venting and documenting the past can help me navigate the present. For the last couple if years, l had been given many opportunities to taste the bittersweet feelings of life. Truth to be told, I have never thought I would be here writing this blog to end the decade. The earlier entries can attest to this. Ten years a go my life was in shambles. I had a broken family, broken English, and the broken will to live.
My father, two siblings and I arrived in Canada on April of 2009 to finally live with my mom. With little regards of the past, I cherished the brand new start to live a life without prejudice. I felt very little emotion when I left the Philippines because I knew deep down I could finally escape the invalidation of others of how I suppose to love. Of course, then, I was naive to think that I wouldn't felt that way ever again- I was completely wrong. It did not take long before everything start to turn sour. Us siblings did not get a long. We did not group together and we did not know how to live with one another. My mom and dad started to fight a lot. Almost every night. My dad started drinking a lot for many reasons that I know now and understood, but not completely forgiven. He misses his old life back in his home country- the life of the party and his other family. My mom push him to work and help with bills. Just like my sister and my brother and I, My mom and dad did live apart for many years. The feeling of living with my whole family was foreign to me. A month after arrival, the incident happened. The police came and for many months the social worker came and visit us. The resentment between us siblings began to build up. For many months, my brother and I blamed my sister for telling the truth. Knowing what I knew now she did the right thing. Nevertheless, my brother and I alienated her.
I also had broken English. I did not make a lot of friends in Grade 8. I was that loner kid who would spend every day during lunch alone and would walk on the school ground by himself. My sister and my brother got their own friends. I wanted to make my own but couldnt. On the bright side, my brother became friends with the guy name Denver. He is one of the only few people in our lives who never left for the past decade. He is still with us.
I started high school. I made more friends who are Filipino. We all kind of form this group. Denver is also part of it. Within that inner group, we had more inner clique called cajibo. I'm not going to disclose who they are because I no longer associate myself with them and it does not matter. There were also four girls who called themselves kimfejeny and they became part of the inner group. Regardless of what happened in the end, they taught me a lot of things about life. For the first time, they made me feel what is like to find a family in a group of random strangers. I must admit they helped us work throughout with some of the traumas. We had crazy dreams together, we spent so many adventures together, and they taught me the life is not as simple as black and white. It all ended because I cared too much and told the truth when it was not my place to do so. Inspite of if all, there were some silver linings to it.
I worked hard to improve my english and move in advance english. My ESL teacher helped me a lot. I improved my academic performance in no time. I also began to developed new relationships. My brother and I became more close to Daniel, Alen, Kith, and Alden. I also began to listen to Taylor Swift's music. She did help me cope with unreciprocated love, broken hearts, and the unpredictability of life. I swear I had crush on couple of people at my high school. I'm just gonna name them here for memories sake- adam, alden, aiah, and andrew.
As time went by, I started thinking about my future. After taking few courses, I knew that I have a passion for literature and history. During my junior and senior years, I took classes in philosophy, history, and law. I was no good in math. Science was okay. I actually got the biology award college level and made it to the honor roll in grade 11 and 12.
In my senior year, this girl name Chelsea asked me out to go to the prom with her. I tagged a long with her friends. They were also friends kimfejeny and some members of cajibo. It was an okay time. I didnt really have an ecstatic time. Suffice to say, I got to go so it was a check for one of my bucket list. Since I'm on the subject, I also went to Red tour concert instead of going to my own school prom. Ed Sheeran performed with Taylor swift! They were both great. Another item checked off!
On my last year, I was also determined to move out. My mom was very supportive of it. We started to look for school. I got in to all of the ones that I applied to. I was torn between u of t and Mac. To be honest, I would not have considered or let alone knew about mcmaster if it wasn't for Andrew. I visited both schools. I thought that u of t provide more classes and opportunities for what I wanted to do. But, I wanted to have an experience like those in movies. Also, deep down I wanted to run away in hope that I could find myself and be. I decided to go to mac
My brother and I graduated. I said goodbye to my favorite high school teach who gave my brother and I a gift. But she did not need to because she has already given me so much and more. The summer was filled with excitement and anticipation. I held a get together before I leave for college. I said goodbye to my friends and left a note for my brother to read. There were crying involve because I felt that I did not deserve them at all. They were so good to me and I was not in return. That summer was bittersweet.
I started my university experience. I would not go in a lot of details because I pretty much documented my first year here well enough. Grace, Shane, nicole and devone made a difference in life, especially Grace. She saved me from myself.
In second year, it was interesting because it started off as bad. I was seeing this guy and wanted to be with him but couldnt. I also was very insecure about myself and my sexuality. Everyone went on dates, make out with someone at the party, etc. I risked my life a couple of times in pursuit of getting the same experience. With the help of my friend and after going to group support, I got through it all. I started joining clubs: board games society, humanities,etc.
Devon came back. Turns out he is bi. I've always liked and wanted him. I had wanted his approval but It was an impossible task. He was drunk and toxic. He liked one of my roommate to who kind of like him too, but did know it was right. She was also the only person who knew about my feelings towards him. Suffice to say my relationship with Devon was severed after the end of that year. Shane was also a drunk and feel like he would not approve of my sexuality so I cut my relationship with him slowly.
I also started dating someone name T. It was an okay relationship. He was a really good guy but I don't think we were meant for each other. I loved how he held me, but I knew I was not the one for him. I was not a good boyfriend to him. I think I tried to look for things in him that I want from my partner. Older, and hopefully wiser, know now that it was wrong. I ended it.
I had great times with my friends and old roommates. Spontaneous drives, adventures, and they gave me opportunities to experience things I never experienced before. Like going to demetris, hiking to trails and falls, random trips to McDonalds etc. Alicia also became my support on my last year at mac. I also became hers as well.
When graduated, I did not find a job immediately and was kind of down. I started to work out to motivate myself. I lost about 75 pound in a couple of months. With the help of family friends, I got hired at a law firm. I learned a lot of things from there. What it's like to practice law, experience to use office equipments, how to network, etc. The perks were great. But the coworkers and the work are not as great. Couple of coworkers come and go. 2 years and a half I still work with them. I also met Ashley, Selena, clarice, bryce, mike. Fun fact: Ashley's wedding was the first wedding that I attended that was not affiliated with my family.
A year ago, I woke up one day and decided to apply to post grad HR program. I was supposed to apply right after I graduated university but I knew I needed to take some time off. But, that day, I was determined to start a new. I got in to the program but was not able to start until last january. The program taught me so much about myself and others. I worked like I've never work in my life. In the end, I got 3.64 GPA. I've made friends and enemies.
My friends from high school that I mentioned before are still with me to this very day. We've gone through so many late night adventures together! I finished my internship last week and I now work as a full time employee at COC. I've traveled couple of times outside Canada for the past 2 years.My family and I recently went to punta Cana. I'm hoping to go to either Mexico or California next year!. I know in my last post I may have mentioned my struggle with the changing times. I know everyone in my life is starting to build their own life without me and that's okay. It is part of growing up. I'm also having short term memory lost lately but hopefully I get better. I'm hoping that my friendship with mike and Bryce would last longer. I wish my family the best in this new decade.
They say, life gets tougher as you grow older. My hope is I became tougher and more resilient still. I will ride the every changing tides of time while always looking up to the daylight.
I'll tell you the truth but never goodbye.
December 31st, 2019
Ps: pic 1 shows the books that I accumulated and read over the years. Pic 2 my favorite things the I received and owned this year.
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365footballorg-blog · 6 years
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Wiebe: World Cups changed my life, and in 2026 one happens here - I'm ready
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June 15, 20188:31PM EDT
What a different eight years makes.
In 2010, I was living in Kansas City. I know exactly where I was – The 810 Zone on the Plaza, if you must know – on the morning of December 2 when Qatar was awarded the 2022 World Cup at the United States’ expense. I can still feel the pit in my stomach and the mouthful of proverbial sand that rendered me speechless when Sepp Blatter triumphantly raised the card aloft.
This Wednesday, eight years later, I was in lying in bed when United 2026 brought the world’s biggest sporting event back to North America. My 7-month-old son lay next to me, alternating between jamming the leg of his stuffed giraffe down his gullet, attempting to yank out handfuls of his dad’s hair and bee-lining for the edge of the bed whenever my attention was elsewhere.
I checked my phone and let out a whoop. He looked up, gave me a no-teeth grin and went back to baby business, too young to grasp what Wednesday morning meant, for him and millions of others in Canada, the US and Mexico. I knew then that my own World Cup experience had come full circle.
Best part about #United2026? This guy is gonna be eight years old, same age I was in 1994. Can’t wait to experience the tournament with my son by my side. He’ll be one of the millions of beneficiaries of everything the World Cup will do for our collective soccer culture. pic.twitter.com/sesaeCni9l
— Andrew Wiebe (@andrew_wiebe) June 13, 2018
When the US national team failed in Couva and missed the tournament that will captivate us all for the next month, I mourned the immediate loss, the World Cup that would go on without us, but it was the long-term repercussions stuck with me.
Gone was the opportunity to expose hundreds of millions of prospective fans to the best American soccer could offer. Gone was the opportunity to bring our soccer community, our soccer culture to the forefront of the mainstream conversation. Gone was a golden opportunity to see the game we love make the sort of every-four-years leap that the U.S. had grown accustomed to and took for granted.
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Two of those momentous leaps, more than 20 years apart, changed the trajectory of my life.
I remember 1994 in snippets. Sitting alone on my grandparents’ couch as the US played Colombia on a tiny television with aluminum-foil wrapped rabbit ears. Alexi Lalas’ beard. Cobi Jones’ dreadlocks. The way Roberto Baggio’s head fell after he skied his penalty kick in the final.
I’d played soccer since I was 4 years old, first with foam balls on a gym floor at the YMCA then on AYSO teams, complete with halftime orange slices and a can of pop after the game. I went to Wichita Wings games at the Kansas Coliseum with my aunt and grandmother; it was the only professional soccer I knew. The nachos, people watching and postgame autographs stand out more than anything that happened on the field.
After 1994, I knew there was something much bigger that I was missing. There were players and leagues and tournaments happening that simply didn’t penetrate the sports pages and magazines I pored over obsessively.
I begged my parents for Baggio’s signature shoe, indoors so I could wear them to school, and wore the soles off them in a matter of months. Through an Italian youth coach, I learned about Diego Maradona, Johan Cruyff and their signature moves. Until plantar fasciitis wrecked my heels in middle school, soccer was my game of choice.
I remember 2006 more vividly. It was the summer after my freshman year of college. The U.S. didn’t make it out of their group, but the games were still thrilling. I woke up each morning to catch the action, and each afternoon the Internet sent me down rabbit hole after rabbit hole while I was supposed to be working at an internship.
Who was Clint Dempsey? Tomas Rosicky and Jan Koller? Jimmy Conrad? Michael Essien? Zinedine Zidane and Marco Materazzi? Where did these all these players come from? What had I missed in my Midwestern bubble when I decided baseball and soccer couldn’t co-exist? By the time I went back to college, I was spending hours each day reading transfer rumors on Eurosport and watching techno-laden highlight reels. My thirst for information was voracious.
I threw myself into Major League Soccer, too. I paid for FOX Soccer Channel with the little disposable income I earned from the campus bookstore. I bought a pair of crappy cleats, started playing in pickup games and signed up for men’s league. I changed my major from business to journalism and sold the sports editor of The University Daily Kansan on a soccer column.
I stuck with it, got a few big breaks and, a decade later, the game consumes my life, which brings us back to United 2026.
What will the World Cup mean to my son? To the millions of kids who play the game in North America or will in the years to come? To coaches, referees and administrators who spend their weeknights and weekends at the field? To our professional leagues? What will the world’s biggest sporting event do to our soccer culture?
There it is. #WorldCup2026 is coming to North America. By final count of 134-65, #United2026 bid tops #Morocco2026. #worldcup returns to U.S. for first time since picture below was taken. 1994 changed my life, hope 2026 will do same for boys and girls in 🇲🇽 🇨🇦 & 🇺🇸. pic.twitter.com/2H2K5lHxoS
— Sebastian Salazar (@SebiSalazarFUT) June 13, 2018
We don’t yet know, but we have the opportunity of a lifetime, a beacon to guide us as we attempt to right the ship after the failure of the past four years.
Right this second, there’s a 12-year-old somewhere trying to replicate Cristiano Ronaldo’s free kick against Spain. He or she could be the next Christian Pulisic or Mallory Pugh.
Right this second, there’s a youth coach working on tomorrow’s training session. He or she could help develop a player who takes the world by storm.
Right this second, there’s a young professional working on his game when nobody is looking. He’ll be in his prime when the World Cup comes to American soil.
For eight years we will work, so that eight years from now, lives, like mine, will be changed. Our sport will take over the continent, the entire world for that matter, for a month. We will make our own way, build on what’s already been accomplished while rooting out the inefficiencies that hold us back.
What a different eight years will make.
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Wiebe: World Cups changed my life, and in 2026 one happens here – I'm ready was originally published on 365 Football
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