#i'm always looking for ways to improve!!

[mymarifae]

WHY ARE THEY GROWING UP WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKK

#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #this game sucks. i knew the premise has always been 'you and miku are watching these kids grow up and achieve all their dreams'BUT LIKE #NOW THAT THEY'RE OUT OF THEIR THREE YEAR LONG STASIS AND ARE ACTUALLY MOVING ON TO THEIR NEXT BIG STAGE #SUCKS. I'M DEVASTATED (IN A GOOD WAY)🥹 #the art improvement is crazy too like it's subtle but it's There andlike #well i lost my train of thought because i started looking at them again. MY GIRLS THEY ARE SO SPECIAL #ichika honami and shiho are smiling now...sniffle

[endworldbroadcast]

I wish I had a job cleaning up dead bodies because it feels like the only job I might fidn tolerable long-term. No need to do much thinking, minimal socialising and I'm not spooked by dead bodies so it wouldn't weight down on me.

#I'm doing this thing again where I'm posting but I can't get myself to look at the dash #I'm really antsy over other people #I always am but more than usual #I feel like even though my circumstances are better now than before #I feel worse than I've ever been #I can neither move on from the few relationships I botched and the lack of 'subtitute' worsens things #I just feel a different form of suicidal #Neither antsy and impulsive nor passive in the background #It feels like an active looming suicidality but one of resignation #A verh definite feeling of wanting to give up because nothing's going to improve #I cannot make the people I look up to even recognise I exist #And I have nothing going on for myself in isolaion #I just can't think of a reason to live and nobody's giving me any or answering my questions and pleas #It's like my frantic resentment is just a small sort of gloominess #One where it's difficult to resist the impulse for dying because it makes no meaningful difference #My life isn't valuable to the people I like so it's evident it makes no difference when I die #I've become too weak to sustain myself so I'm dependent on people who ignore me no matter how directly I try to ask for them to help #And I feel sick that I still feel like people think my problem is just that I'm too stubborn to 'ask for help' #As if there's anything subtle about how I feel and what I want #It may simply be pointless to ask and I disappoint myself by holding hope for anything #What a loathsome existence... years of effort to find I have never done anything meaningful or good is haunting me forever #At the very least I would die with a little more contentment if I could feel like my existence and actions were valuable #Not in the half-hearted 'everyone is intrinsically valuable' way #I want merit for something I chose to put effort in #Not because I want 'merit' alone but because I want the choice itself to matter #Because it just feels too much like it doesn't matter what I choose because everything I do is pointless and ineffectual #Knowing an action I did had the desired consequence makes me feel like there is still a 'point' to actively choosing and doing and changing #But because nothing comes out of my attempts despite the amount of effort suicide does not merely feel 'simple' #It feels inevitable in the way that the sun must always set at night #It's rare for anybody to be worthless and ineffectual that it's almost astounding

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Just had the idea of doing a Roxy askblog that's based on it being a secret blog she's not allowed to have and every so often if someone asks her something she just says stuff like "To the Fazspy reading this, I'm not the real Roxy." to try and throw the staff off her trail lmao

Will probably never make a blog like that, but it could be kinda funny. Maybe I bring the idea of an 'ask Roxy anything' game back where I draw the answers for it instead so it's not a whole ass blog dedicated to Roxy being a sneaky lil shit on the internet

#there's several reasons I probably won't do it but it's a fun spin on stuff #roxy exploring the closed off parts of the plex in first person lmao #taking pictures like 'look see? its right there!' and she's pointing at literally nothing because the camera doesn't see what her eyes see #could be funny! #but doing things is... I would say it's improving but not really #it's improving in a maybe it is maybe it isn't sort of way so who knows if I'll ever get to do it anyway #ANYWAY yeah I'll probs not do this. literally no one would interact with it #the people are bored of my plex history stuff anyway so like... yeah it's cool I know when something won't work #an askblog only works if it gets asks and uh yeah the amount of askblogs I've seen die off within a week here because of that is crazy #no thank you to that I think! #I'm not putting the effort into something like that just to have it die so fast #hi if you read this far go find an askblog and pester the shit out of them it's fun #I haven't seen any around for a while but I also can't view half of tumblr on my phone #so it's really fucking hard to see them even if I follow them :( #but yeah if there's any sb askblogs out there or anyone that wants to have a go at it tag me in a post. #I WILL show up to be silly in your inbox though I may not always remember the plot if there is one #again. I can't see half of tumblr on mobile and that includes blogs but I'll do my best man #askblogs are fun! they're goofy and chaotic! #highly recommend!! I haven't ran one in years but they were very fun!! #ANYWAY Roxy just making posts like 'Jerry. Sandy. I know what you two keep doing in the Gator Golf caravan. :)' #just name dropping random plex guests to be like 'I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE' for shits and giggles #'who are they?' 'oh just two morons that dont know I know Everything Ever. Don't worry about it.' #ya know?? fun! goofy shit! could be funny! #random pictures from inside the plex like 'lmao they think I cant see them' and its just a fucking wall like yeah I wonder why #maybe it's the fucking wall in the way who knows? it's a mystery sdfdsf #pop rox talks

[aurosoulart]

just did the word's shortest stream testing new CLOSED CAPTIONS ON TWITCH!!!!!! YEAAAA ACCESSIBILITY!!!!

there should now be a captions toggle on both PC and mobile in the lower right corner of the video! you can change the font size, line height, text position, and more - it's totally user-customizable :D

#auropost #i think i saw a dyslexic-friendly font option too! #thank you SO much to the person who suggested this extension to me #i'm always looking for ways to improve my streams and i think this is gonna really help

[catrillion]

Day 11 of 30: I haven't updated in a few days, but that doesn't mean I haven't still been on track! I have exceeded the 1666 daily word goal every single day this week, and today was no exception: today, I wrote 3559 words (wowie zowie) and my total word count for the month is now 23,873.

Y'all, that is NUTS. I'm almost halfway there. I've never in my life gotten this far during NaNoWriMo, and even if I don't make it to 50k words by the end of this, I'm still so insanely proud of myself you guys have no idea

#i really do think I've improved as an author because of this too. normally I'm way too quick to go into editing mode #but completing this challenge is requiring me to NOT go there which is HUGE #like learning to be happy that i got words on the page even tho they're not good? that’s monumental. #i always lose momentum when i'm writing because i get discouraged that the words aren’t coming out right and then i just stop writing #but this month i'm like ''that's not the word i'm looking for. oh well i don't have time for this i gotta just keep writing'' #and i know this is the most basic writing tip but for once i'm actually forcing myself to follow it #(but also not to brag or nothin but the stuff i wrote today? *chef's kiss* this was some good writing)

[icewindandboringhorror]

me everytime I am preparing a meal with multiple elements I have to balance so they all finish cooking at the same time: Wow this is just like the 2009 hit Nintendo Wii game 'Food Network: Cook Or Be Cooked'

#or like if I'm making two things and one finishes cooking before the other and has to sit there and get cold #in my brain it's always like 'tsk tsk.. they would deduct points from my score for that' hjhjb #one of those instances of game mechanics imprinting onto your brain. kind of like imagining sims interaction moodlets in irl conversations #i LOVE the game though it's so fun. I've never even heard of it before I just found it by the dumpster in a box of other old wii #games someone was apparently discarding and picked it up due to my interest in cooking shows and stuff #I like having to time things and all the little actions you can do. though sad that there's so little recipes #you can unlock the whole game in like a day or something. I think if I had more time and social energy to actually talk in forums or be par #of a 'community' - I think looking into the type of stuff where people mod wii games and etc. would be very very cool #Wii is my favorite console and so much of the time I am always like 'grrr.. they dont make new games.. and this one game is very cool #but imagine if these 5 improvments were made to it! it would be SO much cooler!' etc. #Like being able to download new custom recipes/levels for Cook or Be Cooked lol #Modding wii sports resort the same way that some people mod skyrim and build entirely new games out of it #with new quests and etc. Like just.. create your own sports.. RPG mode.. use the already existing archery assets and etc. to have a mode #where you can just free roam around the map shooting at enemies and stuff ghhjbjh #WHICH I WOULD LOVE DEARLY.. #I dont realyl like combat in games but idk I'd make an exception.. whatever.. I just want to play more in the Wii World #I have the soul of one of those people who builds all their own computers and 3D prints custom frames to transplant their 3DS into and #has like all special 'hacked' phones and wii mods and customizes everything and etc. etc. like.. 100% my exact personality and preferences #HOWEVER I just simply do not have the money or physical energy/time to get onto projects like that #The best I can hope for is one day having a close friend who does that so I can maybe use their 3D printer every once in a while or we both #collaborate on some wii modding project or etc. but I just couldn't on my own.. I already have too much stuff going on.. Have to make #compromises due to lack of money + low energy + busy. Like I could never build my own phone. I could save up for a teracube phone #or something so it's better and more repairable than all these dumbass modern phones you cant even take the backs off of. but that's probab #y the best I could do lol. ANYWAY.. Especially wii customization. I could get really into that.. I saw a picture one time of someone who #made like a semi transparent case for theirs kind of like the famous purplish see through gameboy color case but for a wii.. which is.. aAA #yearning crying sobbing etc. etc. so on and so forth

[b4kuch1n]

what this fic's gotten to so far is a collection of extremely specific experiences

#bakuspeech #sk8 the infinity #hasegawa langa #kyan reki #burnished house #<- fic name for tag babeyy #(it has not begun posting yet. I'm trying to finish the first chapter lol) #???? renga?? kind of???? #well it's the first chapter. and also. it's me #but! I've kinda nailed down where I want this thing to go. which is the important part. everything else can be improv #(I do not recommend doing your writing this way) #man I can Not wait to show u guys (the five people who care about both sk8 and robots) the screencap I got from yumi #to whom I confided the endgame of this. I am Kind Of proud of it. this one goes out to you myhouse dot wad #(nobody dies whos alive in canon dw. you know me) #it's actually so funny looking back on the three fics Ive written for sk8 so far and like #SEE how much of a nerd I am. skating is always in the undercurrent of the world yes. but most of the screentime is about art #I am trying to fix that in this one lmao. I'm trying to Understand Sport. this is the funniest thing to say about fanwork for a sport anime #well. today did end up being about finishing the script for the funny haha speedpaint-adjacent video instead #so. tomorrow. Im gonna try and power thru the rest of this chapter. and then! I'll clean up for ink comm #thats the schedule. thats all for today folks! enjoy sun OR wind #have a good night! if u draw on ur skin try not using sharpie please

[bat-the-misfit]

not this *special and rare* INFJ coming after me after i stated the facts she didn't want to see in front of her face bc she's an *special and rare* INFJ

mistyped INFJs you're the scum of this community

#she was like “oh it's so hard to be a ni dom bc most people are se doms and they're so superficial 😭” #i told her poeple can relate well to others regardless of functions #that as we all use an intuitive and sensing function we all use it at some point #so she ALSO uses her inf se #and defended se doms bc i'm tired of the stereotype they're superficial #any rype can be superficial even ni doms :)))))) #i've met se doms who were amazing people with lots of depth in their personality #she answered with “just look at the facts!!! look about se doms out there they're lazy bitches!!!” #Yeah as if the time ni doms spend “wondering” about “the meaning of life” didn't make them lazy as well #every type can be lazy #every type can be superficial #tired of these “Ni doms” claiming they're so special and deep #listen my mom is an (actual) INFJ #my father was an ISTP #she related very well with his auxiliary se #even if it was her inferior function #she always looked at it like a way to learn to use it #and to improve her weakness #I WILL DEFEND SE DOMS LIKE ANY OTHER TYPES 🔫🔫🔫🔫 #all types have amazing people #and all types have shitty people #stereotyping just makes you stupid

[justforsutff]

#tw: fatphobia #just in case #idk i got recommended a video titled something something glow up #and the character gets bullied bc theyre fat and then someone is nice to them and suddenly they don't wanna be fat anymore. #I don't mind the idea of self improvement especially thru the body but literally any time a character makes a *Drastic good change* of #themselves it's that wow now they're a generic skinny anime boy and is hot by conventional standards now! #Does that make sense? #Like I don't mind it I guess every once in a while but it's the fact that it's ALWAYS the case #I'm fat myself so its just :| #So i'll watch them turn into the most generic design as a glow up supposedly when I actually thought they looked way cute before LMAO #also the video the character stopped wearing glasses #like I get maybe the character could've switched to contacts but seriously? #glasses make him look to interesting we have to get rid of them #everyone in the comments of the video were also like This is so inspiring like #what is???

[justagaycryptid]

God I fucking hate theorybait games so much. Especially horror theorybait games. *looks directly at Batim, Poppy Playtime and the later installments of fnaf(*cough**cough* especiallySecurityBreach)* 

#like I'm all for finding ways to improve the reach of your games #but these kinds of games always have THE MESSIEST and absolute LAZIEST writing #this isn't to say that you shouldn't have secrets for your players to find and theorize about #I mean look at Hollow Knight #you aren't outright told anything and kind of have to figure things out from the clues that are left around the world #but when you find them there's a clear concise storyline that makes sense #not whatever the fuck is going on with fnaf right now #though I dont know how much of that is ass writing and how much of it is matpats batshit insane theories #like I dont think half his theories hold water and im very well sure he thinks that too #*looks directly at the hollow knight lore vid* #honestly Im pretty sure he comes up with the most insane theory he can so that he can get clicks #and sure whatever get that bag I guess but a lot of his stuff does make him come across as kind of ignorant in some instances #or reaching for straws in others #like I dont hate matpat Im mostly just indifferent to him but some of his theories fucking suck #shouting into the void

[mrfoox]

Sometimes I see myself in the mirror and think 'it looks like I've lost weight!' but then in the same day I can see myself and think I've gained

#miranda talking shit #I cant rightfully judge myself like i cant tell unless i have numbers to go by #And i dont... I dont own an scale /: #I just know last time i did weight myself was about a year ago and then i was like 96kg which is as bif as ive been I believe #But after that i did continue to binge for a while so i may have gotten to 100 tbh #Now ive been monitoring my calories for about 7 months? Usually stay in 1700-1800 calories some days i go under #And once every other week or so i go over #If i have lost weight i cant say its been in the best or correct way but at least better than when i had my starvation year in 2015-2016 #Im kinda curious though if i have and how much or if I'm just imaging it #I cant tell bc of my messed of self image. When i was heavily undereating for a year i didnt realize #I had lost weight until my sister pointed out that I looked thinner/good and then i got weighted and i was like 70kg which is considered #Normap for people my height but i have never before then been in the normal weight range always been at least 10kg over the line #My weight and me will probably never be friends. Can say feom experience losing my extra weight and being 'thinner' didnt help #Me at all and i still hated to see myself/thought i was fat. Now i have an improved self-image but i also have my doubts #If I'd actually feel more confident losing weight. Bc i cant 'see it' i just feel big/huge #Idk where im going with this all as usual but yeah just ranting i guess

[noxtivagus]

it's actually really adorable reading my notes while i was going through heavensward for the first time

#🌙.rambles #[ ffxiv. ] #THAT WAS NEARLY EXACTLY TWO YEARS AGO ?? march ily fr #i am. so enthusiastic here. evidently so very passionate abt ffxiv n i was enjoying myself sm it makes me smile so much #this is so funny the lil gbf notes i have here too #oh my god i was playing ffxiv n gbf actively back then that is a nightmare #oh yeah damn i empathized sm w my wol #i'm. still really grateful actually bcs ffxiv genuinely helped w making it easier for me to cry #this actually hits hard but in a way that. sort of comforts me #in the end i'm proud of myself for improving n stuff n. perhaps yeah healing from some stuff that happened a few months prior #but like. ffxiv rlly did help. i was an anxious n social wreck then n had no support system other than my family n stuff like video games n #i think writing got even harder for me for a while #but ffxiv rlly just #it helped a lot. n i'll forever be grateful for that #yeah that reminds me. drk's rlly special to me bcs it rlly reminded me of some things that helped me be kinder to myself #n now just. looking back ik i've gone a long way. n just reading this from the past makes me really proud of myself #'i don't fucking know how to phrase this' while talking abt hope n resolve is still so me #i'm rlly gna sleep it's nearly 3 n help tumblr's rlly one of my diaries or wtvr atp but #i mean. i won't write it all ofc but i'm just. no matter what i'll always have myself. n my family. esp apollo. #i'm rlly proud of myself n my. resolve is renewed damn i'm motivated but i'll sleep

[keeps-ache]

march of last year versus today! :D

#art #my art #artists on tumblr #digital art #i'm so happy with how i've improved #like i know for the first half of last year i knew i had sooome way to go #i know i do now too but i love knowing that i'm never stagnant #//fantastic! another reason to look ahead #writing it on the wall in my mind along with other odds and ends :> #like for example; Disco Shark #i must have it #it doesn't quite fit with most things i like but there's always room for Disco Shark #//anyway! [Becomes the Disco Shark]

[butchtrait]

nah fuck everybody’s negativity, i’m gonna be cautiously optimisitc about the werewolves pack, i’ve wanted werewolves for so long. this whole pack feels so queer and campy and it’s literally coming out during pride month? this pack is for the gays

#mine #like look at that grungy mullet on that blue hair and pronouns having lesbian sim i'm literally in love with it #i think the werewolf form could def use improvements but i'm not mad at the furry look honestly #it's really cute #and what can possibly be more queer than the furry community #like come on now #the furry community is like 99% queer folks #anyways my only real complaints with the way the werewolves look is that the snouts are too short and the ears are too small #it makes them look more feline than canine i think #other than that i would have also liked digitigrade legs and tails but i understand that digitigrade legs would have been especially hard #to implement #the heads could also be bigger just a touch but like #other than that i'm glad we're getting more out of werewolves than just hairy humans with claws and pointy elf ears #it's refreshing! #i could go on and on and on but like #i'm excited for this pack #because despite my nitpicks it's nothing that mods and custom content can't adjust and fix with time #but yeah i just hope it isn't broken because this pack sounds like SO much fun and i'm always excited for occult stuff

[zemnarihah]

i've been having. gender issues i must say

#i think like in a different and much more progressive world i would like almost certainly id as nonbinary in some way but like #idk i do think i have dysphoria esp w my chest lately but i don't think it's to the level that my life would be improved by like #going by different pronouns and coming out w a different gender label and stuff #bc it's just so incredibly inconvenient and like especially in my area ppl would either not take me serious or like be straight up hateful #i also think i'm not like. NOT a woman like i've lived as a woman my whole life i don't think i'll ever see myself as like divorced from tha #but it's just. still not quite right yk #like i feel pretty uncomfortable w most traditional femininity but i feel COMPLETELY uncomfortable w almost all masculinity so it's like. #idk #not cis or trans but another secret third thing yk #i mean at the end of the day there's not rlly any point in doing anything abt it and i think i have had lapses like this before and have had #times where i think i was fairly comfortable w being a woman and w my body (relatively) so maybe it's just smth that will come and go u know #i just wish i was like 50% more androgynous looking and like. didn't have tits. and could go by a pronoun that like isn't she/he or they #but is also very normal and commonly understood that nobody will be weird or confused abt #so. idk #like now that i think abt it there's no pronoun that i actually feel good abt ppl using for me. but i think that might also be bc i feel #uncomfortable w the idea of people even talking abt me at all #i think i'm starting to understand people who use it/it's lol #i mean before i never liked judged them or anything like i always use peoples correct pronouns but i was always like huh idk why someone #would want that #and now i like. see the appeal. kind of divorced from gender and identity in general. it's nice

[mishkakagehishka]

Well you asked for it so I am here to deliver. I feel jealous of you. Your capabilities writing, your passion for literature, the love you hold for it all, how much you know about it… even your love towards your ethnicity, and how you’re proud to be what you and not afraid to speak your mind when you feel like something important to you is not being taken with the gravity it should. I could never say this off of anon but… I am envious of you. You can take it as a compliment, since it has less to do with you as a person and more with my own internal turmoil since you just have things that I feel are lacking in me or I would like to strife for.

All that to say that I really respect you. I wouldn’t say I look up to you, even if you have qualities I’d like to work on within myself, but you have influenced me in a way to work on myself s little bit more sometimes… I don’t want to lose to my own negative feelings when they come more from a place of admiration than anything else.

So there’s your anonymous confession from me.

I think it'd be naive of me to respond to this with something like, "you don't have to be jealous or envious!" tbh, but I want to first say that I understand where you're coming from, and that it's, well, a bit impossible to just say "I don't have to feel like this, so I won't". Though I don't really have much experience with envy/jealousy, thankfully, I struggle with anger, as I'm sure you've noticed;; so I can relate to you on the side of "I have negative feelings towards a person, but I don't want to let myself fall into those negative feelings, but I can't help it either"

But, I'd like to say I'm proud of you (and I hope that doesn't come across as patronising! I just mean, it's good to hear, as people often don't do that as a reaction to such feelings) for recognising it as negative, and for turning it around to yourself by working on yourself. Abilities are nothing but practise (i've been writing for years, and still have moments where i'm unhappy with my work - often - art especially is something you can never be perfect at, but it's better to think of it as "art is something you can always improve at"), passions are... something you discover, you can come across them entirely by chance. And being unafraid to speak one's mind can sometimes cross over to "doesn't know which battles to sit out". All this to say, there's nothing special about me; everything I've achieved and I will achieve can be achieved by almost anyone else, too, I believe. You probably have many skills you're still unaware of, yourself, either because you don't see it, or maybe bc it's a skill you haven't thought to try yet, and passions are something you come across throughout life - maybe even that skill you have that you haven't tried will turn into your passion. You really never know where life takes you

But all in all - I believe you won't let yourself lose to your negative feelings, considering that you're this aware of them. I admire you right back for typing this out, actually, and I'm sure you'll be able to achieve so much, too. Continue striving to your goals and working on yourself, and don't worry too much even if you have to sometimes say "Ah, because I'm envious" as motivation - tho, if possible in any way, maybe just starting by saying "Ah, because I want to be like that person in this and that way" can help in a "fake it til ya make it" sort of way

#tho as a catholic i shouldn't condone envy #as a human i recognise sometimes there's just. well you can't just turn it off right? #i'm that way with my wrath issues anyway #but i hope as you grow as a person and achieve the stuff you're striving towards that you'll be able to say ''i admire her - but i'm pretty #great too'' bc just in reading this i think you're a good person too #but it's also natural to feel like this sometimes i think. yours at least makes sense and helps you improve yourself right? #i'm just unable to open the e.nst.ars tag bc i keep getting envious over ppl who have the li.nk cl.ick card😭 #just s lil bit to lighten the mood. i rly hope this didn't come across as me looking down on you or being patronising! #bc sometimes when i feel like the tone got a bit serious my own tone ends up? like this and i always feel like #''oh don't i come across a bit arrogant rn...'' but i also don't wanna make light of smth like this :( in any case #i believe in you and that you can achieve even more than (you believe) i have #asks