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inkrabbit · 1 year

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Journal Entries - 1961

The pages are worn, though the ink hasn't faded. These pages, however, show more wear and tear than the previous year.

01/01/1961

The boys were skeptical about the fireworks at midnight. Well, everyone but Ares. He had seen them go off every year before he died. He said he and his family would go to the city and watch the display until there were no more. It's nice hearing stories about their pasts. It makes me feel like I know them more.

Sister had spoken of “changes” being made around the ministry to bring in the new year. She said that, since I have spent almost a year getting to know my boys, it was time for them to start learning their instruments. Neptune had taken the bass pretty quickly. He keeps plucking at the strings and his tail keeps moving behind him. It reminds me of an excited puppy. I suppose he just likes the sound.

Silvanus was surprised to see the drum set and had even commented about how far along music had come in what felt like such a short amount of time. I had to agree with him, but he picked up the drumsticks and tested out each drum and cymbal. He seemed to pick it up quick. I'm proud of him.

Notus was hesitant with the keyboard at first. He confessed he could only play the piano. Poor thing looked so ashamed. It took a few minutes before he finally tried it. Just like Neptune, his tail started moving when he saw it was almost the same as a piano. He can play so beautifully. I have no doubt in my mind that he'll be able to eventually make some amazing music for us to play with.

True to his word, Ares could play the guitar. I watched him from afar for a bit. He got back into the rhythm of it pretty quick. He even called Astraeus over and told him to pick up a guitar himself. I had feared I would've had to risk getting my head bitten off asking Ares to teach Astraeus so he could be our rhythm guitarist, but he seems to already be doing that job himself. Maybe all of this won't be so bad after all.

02/15/1961

She doesn't want them in the guest rooms anymore. Sister said that those rooms are reserved for the outside public that are curious about the ministry and that they shouldn't be forced to stay in the same building as the ghouls. She also thinks they're unpredictable and that they'll kill some unsuspecting person. She wants to move them to the basement. I feel so bad, but I've managed to buy my boys some time. She agreed that the boys can stay there while I work on another solution. I already have an idea.

However, in return, I have to take care of all of the costs, planning, phone calls. Everything under the sun. But it will be worth it for them.

02/25/1961

I've thought up of a plan for the boys. I want them all to have their own living quarters with their own rooms. They seem to do well in the guest rooms together, so I suppose them being in their own “home” wouldn't be too bad. Astraeus had mentioned that most ghouls in Hell would have “dens,” especially when they haven't been summoned for a while. I know it's a big project, but I've managed to get enough money to make the idea happen.

I've talked to the boys individually about what they would want. Astraeus wanted shelves and a desk for his scrolls. He still likes to write poetry. I thought some built-in bookshelves would be nice for him. I want all of my boys to have room, so I figured a good size bed will make them happy. I also thought of somehow incorporating a small shelf on the headboard of his bed.

I have to be careful about this, but I want Neptune to have a pond in his room. He also made a little... hut??? gesture??? When I asked if he wanted a hiding spot like a cave, he just nodded his head and smiled, so I suppose that's what he also wants. He also seems very fond of the marine life in the lake. I wonder if I could do something with that? I think I'll also have to make his floor out of stone. Too much water could be trouble.

Notus said he just wanted something cozy, and also somewhere to read his books. I've seen some people have those lofts in their homes. I wonder if I could do that for him? Put it above his bed so he has a secure place to sleep. The loft can cut the room in half, and the top can be some built-in bookshelves. Maybe some soft blankets and a chair for him. I can always bring up a catalog for the boys to choose the styles they like. Notus also said that he preferred softer, brighter colors. I could probably make that work.

Silvanus said he wanted large windows – as big as I could get them. He says the sunlight will be good for his plants, but he doesn't care for much. His only special request aside from the windows is a canopy bed. He says that sometimes he'll wake up at night with the dread that something is watching him, and he wants to hide away easier. I don't know what's watching him, but I can certainly make the bed happen, especially if it makes him happy.

Ares, however, was the most surprising. He said he didn't care what he got, so long as he got his own room. I had made a joke about putting him in the basement, and he just shrugged and said “okay.” So now I guess the boys are getting a basement as well. When I asked about a design, he just told me “brick.” Brick walls, stone floors, nothing really flammable. Maybe I was just seeing what I wanted to, but he seemed sad when he told me that. I don't want to put him in a cold prison. I'll have to look for things that won't burn easily, but will also make him feel comfortable. I hope I'm capable of doing all of this.

03/05/1961

Neptune is really attached to that bass. Anytime he's not in his room or helping a sibling, he's in the practice room just strumming away. His tail is always moving too, and he seems so happy playing it. I've listened outside a few times. He's getting good. I've gone in a few times and watched him, asked him if he was happy with it. He nodded, but he also looked back at the drums. He made a downward gesture, then cut through it with his finger. I thought he might've been trying to sign the upside-down cross, but he shook his head and drew it out on the floor. An upside-down triangle with a line through it. It took me a little bit to realize that he was talking about Silvanus. It took some time, but he eventually got it across that Silvanus had offered to teach him the drums, and Neptune would teach him bass. I don't know which one they'll decide to stick with, but whatever they decide, I'll support them.

05/10/1961

I don't get how someone could do this. Just when everything was going right.

Someone summoned a ghoul, but it wasn't right. It didn't listen to commands and it didn't take too kindly to anyone approaching it. It lashed out the second the Brother tried to get close. Ares was the first one to get between them, followed by Astraeus. Seeing them fight was like something you would see in a horror movie, but my boys fought together so well. However, Ares did get cut. A couple scratches to his cheek. Deep enough to bleed, but I don't think it didn't look too bad.

He won't talk to me, however. When I tried to clean him up, praise him for his good job, he stayed silent. I wonder if he blames me for the ghoul. I wonder if that made him hate me more than he already seems to. When I offered to put some bandages on it, he seemed defensive and told me he was fine before he stormed off. I don't know what I could've done to avoid all of this.

06/15/1961

We've been making progress with the dens. Sister is adamant about the boys sleeping in the basement, but I've been able to charm her time and time again. So long as I can keep her happy, I can let them stay in the guest rooms.

She got upset one night, demanded that they be kicked out and banned from there. I calmed her down, got her her favorite things, and waited until she fell asleep before I led the boys back in there. I don't know why, but Ares, Astraeus, and even Silvanus didn't seem to want to follow at first. I had to reassure them multiple times that it was okay before they finally moved. I don't know what the problem was.

06/30/1961

I asked Silvanus if there was a reason why he and the others were so apprehensive about going back to the guest rooms after previously being kicked out by Imperator. He said he couldn't speak for the others, but confided in me that his previous summons weren't kind to him. He said that his previous masters had pulled at his antlers, teeth, and tail, and that they had forced him to fight other ghouls for their amusement. Defenseless or not, he had to find a way to fend for himself. He seemed ashamed. I wish I could make it all better.

07/02/1961

I don't get it. I've asked Ares to get me things before, and while he'll sometimes roll his eyes or huff, he always does it. But this time I asked him to bring me something from the supply closet and he snapped at me. He growled and swatted at me like he was some feral animal and I was a threat to him. Maybe I should've just saved myself the trouble and got it myself without asking, but I had been swamped with work. But then I tried and asked him to get me something from the library, and he went off and did it. I want to ask him if there's something wrong with the supply closet, but I'm worried he'll become hostile at the very mention of it.

07/18/1961

Silvanus has scars on his back. I saw them, only just barely. I had entered the guest room while he was getting dressed, and his back was to the door. They didn't look like they had happened at the ministry, but they looked deep. I don't know if it was right to, but I had asked about them.

He told me. He told me that they were from his last summon. He told me that he was going to lose the fight and he panicked. He broke away from the ghoul he was fighting and killed their master so they would be forced back, but before they were dragged down, the ghoul got a good swipe in at his upper back.

He says that ghouls naturally heal, but sometimes they need extra time for worse injuries. He didn't want my pity. He just told me that that's how life is sometimes. I'm not sure I like that bleak outlook.

07/21/1961

The chat with Silvanus gave me the confidence to talk to Ares. While he sorted through paperwork in my office, I asked him about his outburst when I asked him to go to the supply closet. He tells me that it wasn't the task that upset him; it was the location. When I asked about it, he finally opened up to me. He died in a broom closet at the age of 28. He doesn't know how it happened, but he said his friends caught the house on fire and left him for dead in the broom closet. He couldn't get the door open. He burned. After that, he just hates small rooms with only one exit.

He said it was ironic that after his death, he became a fire ghoul. He viewed it as some sick joke and just supposed it was his punishment for something heinous he couldn't remember doing in his human life. I think I'm starting to get why he is the way that he is.

09/15/1961

I've seen Silvanus strumming the bass today. It's funny. I've noticed that he doesn't have claws like the others, but it helps him play a lot easier. I asked him if he would prefer the bass over drums, but he just shook his head. While he was interested in eventually learning most of the instruments, he said he felt most comfortable behind the drum set. At least it's something I know he likes.

09/20/1961

I could never find Notus before. He showed up to practice and for meals, sure, but other than that, I could never find him. He didn't roam the halls. He wasn't outside. He wasn't even in “his” room in the guest room.

I found him today in the library, tucked all the way in the back and just quietly reading. Had I not needed an old book from back there, I wouldn't have ever found him. But there he was, sitting on the floor with the book close to his face and just reading. I feel bad, but it was a little amusing watching him jump when I had cleared my throat to get his attention. I asked him about it, and he told me that he loved this part of the library because no one ever went back there. No one could bother him and he could just read. He seemed interested in the old books no one ever cared about. He said that he found the old, forgotten books interesting, especially because they were just the same as every other book. And from what he had shown me, he was right. Old text, scriptures, and sketches I never would've thought to exist.

I decided that keeping his little hiding spot a secret would've been best.

10/21/1961

The boys seem excited for Halloween to be coming up. They've asked if they could go to the town nearby. They want to see the outside world and how it's changed. Sister doesn't think it's a good idea, but I wouldn't mind going with them. It would be fun! I also doubt that my older boys would know about the more modern candy we have. They seemed to take to some of the treats around other holidays, but we didn't have too much Halloween candy last year. I'm curious to see their reactions to everything.

Ares has made the comment that we could also pick up a sacrifice for them while in town. I don't like that thinking, but Astraeus and Silvanus had agreed. I feel like they're going to be the ones that cause all of the trouble, and I'm not sure

The rest of the paper has been ripped off, making the rest of the entry and year unreadable.

#Nihil's journal #young papa nihil #Nihil's ghouls #injury #injury tw #fire tw #death #death tw

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