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#i was having soooo much fun last night
ribbed-vault-heart · 1 year
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everyone knows by know how much i love wikipedia, but i will say, having 47 tabs open will NEVER come close to being surrounded by piles and piles of books. it’s enrichment. trying to figure out which books might have information on the topic, flipping through the index to figure out what page, finding new exciting topics while looking and abandoning the old topic and starting up the search all over again. this is the most fun i’ve had
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yo9urt · 5 months
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local man completely obliterated by strength of narrative and character writing in 2023 game of the year
#mine#last night after putting it off for essentially as long as i possibly could because i knew it would decimate me#i finally attacked c4z4dor and (of course) kept ast4r10n as a spawn and basically finished up his quest#FUUUUCK ME DUDE....i knew what was coming in advance but that did not make it any less impactful#i mean holy shit the writing on this guy......the fucking graveyard scene (DO NOT GET ME STARTED)...#and of course neil's performance ohhh my god he deserves every award he can possibly have#god i love asta so much i'm literally never going to be the same this game is soooo insane#the only things i have left are the house of hope and then disabling the foundry and killing gort and doing the final fight stuff#i am ... nervous lol#ive heard the raphael fight is HAAAAAAAAARD#i'll find a way...#i think in the future i may reorder my act 3 quests i think it would be interesting to tackle some (ex companion quests or raphael)#sooner in the story#shadowhearts quest was like...3rd or 4th last thing i did cause i think i did that and then ansur and then astarion#i'm actually SO excited to replay the game i think im gonna have the time of my life doing roleplay and making diff choices#plus i know i missed a TON of stuff in this run so its gonna be fun to see what else is out there#after this im planning to do my first durge run which is REALLY exciting !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i may do another regular tav run simultaneously but not totally sure....#anyway yeah... awesome game everyone should buy it and play it its on sale right now go buy it and play it
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bo0zey · 1 year
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anyone else ever get in those silly goofy moods where u just hate urself sooo much that u instantly feel physically almost violently ill just thinking abt urself and also even tho u worked a 12hr shift w no breaks or water running off of the 2 cups of coffee u had for breakfast 20 hours ago, the thought of eating instantly sends bouts of nausea coursing thru ur soul while churning in ur stomach bc ur brain hates u so much that its convinced ur body that u don’t deserve sustenance or anything else that’s life sustaining or promotes ur physical well being because u subconsciously convinced urself that ur such a shit excuse for a human being that u neither deserve nor have any right to anything regarding maslow’s hierarchy of needs bc u r such an awful thing u deserve to be neglected n treated like the nonliving object ur own brain sees ur living body as or am i just mentally ill lol
#laying in bed everytime i think abt myself i feel literally nauseated n like it’s so weird#this feeling comes in waves intermittently just even .01 sec of ‘hm i’m hungry’ FFFFFNOPE HRRGRHFFF VOMITTY#i want to curl up in a ball and die forever i don’t care about me i don’t want to take care of me anymore i’m not even good at it#whyyyyyyyy did i stop taking my meddsssssss i guarantee y’all this is why i’m being such a crybaby on the dash lmaoooo#i have a headache i’m def dehydrated from crying n sniveling n barely drinking any water today while sweating like a mf at work#imma go to bed 🛌 if i don’t wake up i will be soooo pleasantly surprised y’all have no idea FINGERS CROSSED🤞#real talk tho can someone tell me why my body is literally reacting this way for like no real reason#like am i truly that disgusted with myself i make myself nauseous just thinking abt me#ok yeah the answer is yes lol BUT LIKE WHY THATS SUCH A DRAMATIC BODILY RESPONSE TO MY BRAINS DUMBASS THOUGHTS???#ik the body and mind have a super powerful link n the brain influences the body like crazy but like#why this why does my brain literally want me to berate and degrade myself and isolate me and make me cry alone n starve me that’s so mean#i’m not starving btw i’m literally always eating just these past 2 days i’ve been such a fuckup my body won’t let me do anything#i had a chocolate poptart for dinner last night (thurs) n threw myself to bed#i hope i don’t end up hurting myself that would be so lame#i literally don’t have time for that like i am Not doing wound care duty off the clock for my damn self lol#also don’t want to take care of myself so i wouldn’t bandage myself up properly sooo yeah i’m not gonna do anything actually#cleaning ur wounds r super important ok yall ur literally playing god if u don’t do good aftercare snfjfbdj#i can’t believe i’m in this nasty ugly depressive episode i hate this so much i don’t have time for this i hate this cycle#i hate being bipolar 2 n my moods n meds have been so fkcdd up lately that i don’t even have the rlly fun hypomanic episodes anymore#i’ve just been constantly having mixed episodes im unbearable to be around im so sorry for everyone that’s ever spoken to me im insufferable#ok that’s enough im done being dramatic lmao#im gonna give myself a bolus PRN dose of clonnie then i’m going tf to bed#ramblings#shut up cianna
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museenkuss · 2 years
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[lipgloss emoji]
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origamiyoda · 8 months
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IM ALSO. Trying to specifically avoid anything thats gonna SUPER FREAK ME OUT rn bcos im goin to fright nights on Friday and i KNOW for as like. Distracted im gonna be like i always am w haunted attractions I AM GONNA GET REALLY SCARED AT SOME POINT. And I dont want to fucking die
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byanyan · 9 months
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wanted to write some actual replies today but the brain is just Not having it :/
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magistrixbee · 1 year
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Bee and Mara discovered the Golden Saucer! Gambling is fun, it turns out...
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Thank you so so much @biathediamond @icyfox17 @salineroses and Pinestripe for sending in such darn lovely asks for the AU game!! I’m having a lot of fun with them :D
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the more school work i have the more my brain is like “hey remember the WIP you abandoned 6 years ago? it is going to fill your every waking thought”  
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I’m very excited for the strike mission event to help folks get turtles tonight because I’m getting to run Orion as a heal Vindicator!!
Getting to rep Viktor primarily for once is very exciting, since usually Orion is repping Archemorus for open world shenanigans
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running-in-the-dark · 2 years
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I just had the longest nightmare ever, every time it ended it just started over slightly differently, I knew it was a dream/not real and tried to wake up but instead it was like turning off a TV and then I'd just wake up in a new, different version of the same dream.
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kimmkitsuragi · 1 year
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im doing an insane zoo in zoo tycoon 1
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mclqren · 2 months
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BALLERINA ★ LN4
PAIRING ✦ lando norris x fem!ballerina!reader
SUMMARY ✦ you play odette in the 'swan lake' ballet, and you manage to capture the attention of an f1 driver who has come to watch [ SMAU ]
WARNINGS ✦ cursing
REQUESTED ✦ here!
NOTES ✦ reader plays odette in the swan lake ballet, and is british. she’s good friends with carmen, george’s girlfriend. the fc i've used is pdm.clara, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are open so feel free to leave a request :)
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liked by yourbsf, carmenmmundt, and 1,291 others
yourusername crazy to be beginning this journey, and this is only the start!! thank you to everyone who's supported me, can't wait to be odette 💗
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user1 you're soooo pretty!! 🩷
yourusername aw thank youuu!! 💗
user2 my family and i went to see it tonight and it was SO GOODD! ur so talented it's crazy ❤️
yourusername thank you sm, im so glad you enjoyed it!! 💗
yourbsf my best frienddd!! such a cutie fr
yourusername i love you so much its crazy 💗
carmenmmundt so pretty!!
yourusername love you carm 💗
landonorris
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( caption one: tagging along + tags 🙄😘 )
yourusername
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( caption one: behind the scenes 📸 | caption two: night two = over! absolutely insane 💗 )
imessages ( lando )
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liked by landonorris, carmenmmundt, and 2,008 others
yourusername life recently 🩰
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user3 you're so good in swan lake omg
yourusername thank you sm!! 💗
user4 I LOVE HERR
user5 okay lando norris in the likes hello??
user6 after he went to see the show with george and carmen as well?? this can't be a coincidence.
yourbsf my girl 🩷
yourusername foreverrr!
user7 im obsessed.
yourusername 💗
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imessages ( lando )
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imessages ( y/n )
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landonorris
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( caption one: in london for a bit! | caption two: fun times 😉 )
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liked by landonorris, alex_albon, and 5,910 others
yourusername day off's been fun 📸
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user10 Y/N HAS A MANNN???
user11 STOP IT RN :(
user12 she's stunningggg
yourusername no you!! 💗
user13 she's such a sweetheart
user14 the pink flowers omg he knows ur fav colour
carmenmmundt i hope he's treating you right! 😘
yourusername so far so good 🤞
user15 ALL OF THE 2019 ROOKIES IN HER LIKES??
user16 oh she has to have a thing w lando.
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liked by yourusername, georgerussell63, and 956,221 others
tagged yourusername
landonorris when your girlfriend's a ballerina who can cook (somewhat) 😱❤️
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user20 LANDO HARD LAUNCHING HELLOOO?
user21 DID NOT EXPECT THIS WOWWW
user22 SHE'S SO SWEET AW
user23 LANDO NORRIS BAGS A GIRL
alex_albon absolutely no one had faith in you but it's nice to see you managed to get her anyway! 😊
landonorris by no one do you mean you and george?
georgerussell63 we had zero faith in you but it's nice to see you got the girl of your dreams!
yourusername GIRL OF YOU DREAMS AWWW LANDOOO
landonorris LOOK AWAY Y/N
yourusername ur def punching w me but its okay! not everyone is as good a chef as i am 💗
landonorris im a great cook?
yourusername hon ur not fooling anyone
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liked by landonorris, carmenmmundt, and 13,810 others
tagged landonorris
yourusername when your boyfriend is an f1 driver who sleeps whenever he touches a soft surface 😘😘
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user24 AW THEY'RE SO CUTEEE
user25 the last slide LOOLLL
user26 she's feeding us w these lando crumbs!!
carmenmmundt if he ever treats you wrong im right here as a backup option x
yourusername ur on speed dial dw x
georgerussell63 hello???
carmenmmundt on a more positive note DOUBLE DATE TIME WOOHOOO
lilymhe plot twist TRIPLE DATE TIME
yourusername I CONSENT YES
alex_albon they've met already oh dear
landonorris isnt this fun!
landonorris the last pic 🤨🤨
yourusername i had to include a picture to fit my aesthetic 💗
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sxcret-garden · 2 months
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NCT Dream getting pussy drunk [M]
ღ NCT Dream all members x fem-bodied!reader ღ genre: smut reaction ღ warnings: none
Author’s note: idk, i just had this idea last night and it had to get out askldöfjkdas
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Mark:
doesn't get pussy drunk all the time, but when he does, it happens quickly
it's more likely when he's actually drunk
like that one time you're sitting on his face, your front facing his body, and the second he dips his tongue into you you can see the bulge in his pants growing
a few more licks and this guy is almost fully hard, that's how much it affects him sometimes
has his hands all over you as far as he can reach - like he just got that much more needy
hums at your taste and could cum from that alone, while he's desperate to figure out where to best hold onto you
has you falling apart on top of him eventually, and will get even more eager with his face still burried in your pussy if you start getting him off too
he's whining at all the sensations coursing through his body now, and you bet this guy is gonna cum within a minute
but even then he still needs to taste you, so you can be sure he won't be satisfied until he's made you cum a few more times
Renjun:
doesn't get pussy drunk easily, so when it happens for the first time he's so embarrassed afterwards???
like he does not know how to process the way he acted when he felt this carnal need to taste you more overtake him and cloud his mind
does everything in his might for just one more lick, and if you're feeling playful this might just be the best chance you could get to make him beg
he seems like a completely different person all of a sudden, grabbing onto you desperately and wanting nothing more than to bury his head between your legs
pure ecstasy running through his veins when he feels you clench around his tongue, almost crushing him in between your thighs when your high crashes down on you
he can't think straight at this point, all he knows is he needs more, and he needs it now
Jeno:
he just will not let you go when he gets pussy drunk, whether you're lying beneath him or are on top of him, riding his face
this guy holds you close with all his strength because he might just get addicted to the way it feels when you cum on his tongue
and maybe you should be grateful at this point that he doesn't get pussy drunk all that often, because you're in for an intense ride
loves the power he has over you when he overstimulates you, and will only give you space to breathe when it's apparent it's getting too much for you to handle
otherwise he'll just keep going, his tongue greedily fucking one orgasm after the other out of you until you're nothing but a whiny, shaking mess
though once it dawns on him what kind of state he just put you in, he'll suddenly become very soft, and he'll make sure to give you all the aftercare you could ever want
Haechan:
gets pussy drunk so easily, it happens almost every time he eats you out
like this guy just can't get enough of you, and there's just something about him having his face buried between your legs and your taste on his tongue that drives him crazy instantly
but most of the time he won't make sure you can't escape him, he might whine a little, but otherwise he'll just hope you'll let him have his fun for as long as possible
really he just wants to please you, and your taste drives him insane - he's way too in the moment to think about what may or may not happen even a second from now
and it just makes him soooo horny too
if you let him he will certainly start touching himself too while eating you out, but he won't permit himself to cum before you aren't 110% satisfied first
Jaemin:
I'm convinced this guy gets drunk on you in general, so imagine what it'd be like if he's pussy drunk on top of that
this is definitely gonna trigger both a very caring and a very possessive side of him so you're in for a ride...
gets pussy drunk fairly often though, so he's learned to keep himself in check most of the time
intense eye contact as he eats you out, his hands on your hips to keep you in place
he takes pride in knowing he can drive you crazy with just his tongue, though he will eventually add his fingers too to get you from one orgasm to the other
so soft when he lets you rest in between, asking if you're okay and if you want more (no matter how much he needs to taste you more, he won't rush into more than you can handle)
and then when you give him the okay he's eating you out like there's no tomorrow
starts slow and builds up his pace just right, because this guy has spent countless nights studying your reactions to everything he does to you to make sure he makes you feel as good as he possibly can
Chenle:
doesn't get pussy drunk all that often actually
but when it happens you will know
strikes me as the type who has fun teasing you and getting a little rough with you, so usually he'll make sure to keep you in place as he gives you the bare minimum just so he can get the gratification of hearing you beg for him
so when he suddenly goes super soft after finally letting you cum on his tongue you don't know what's going on for a second???
until you see the look on his face and hear him asking you if you want more in the most caring tone ever
it's clear a switch inside him flicked, and now all he wants to do is please you and take care of you, all thoughts of teasing you long gone
that doesn't mean he won't have you seeing stars in no time - he still knows what he's doing and he's doing it well
it's just that instead of being a little shit, he'll simply continue eating you out until you're a shaking mess underneath him, however long it'll take him
Jisung:
gets pussy drunk so quickly, he won't even know that he is when it first happens??
all he knows is that you taste so so good and he could spend forever eating you out and-
it'll dawn on him only wayyy later what just happened, unless you point it out to him
will simply keep going when he's reached that state, following only his urge to taste you more
is gonna make you cum on his tongue and then immediately continue - only when you start squirming and whining from the overstimulation does he stop for a moment
checks in on you, and when you tell him to slow down, he's trying, he's really trying, but you just taste so good, how could he not become a little greedy?
only when you suggest riding his face instead, so you could control the pace better, does the overstimulation fade into pure bliss
and this guy here too couldn't be happier, like he's just in heaven the entire time, wanting nothing more than to eat you out forever
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strawberrynull · 2 months
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──౨ৎ ˙💄 ̟ strawberry lip balm
엔하이픈 | Enhypen | Nishimura Riki
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──Pairing: niki x afab!reader
──Genre: fluff
──Synopsis: After sleeping over Niki's house with some friends the night before, you accidentally left your favorite chapstick behind
──Warnings: cursing, kissing
──A/N: yall this literally took me only one hour
masterlist
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You.
You were the only thing on Nishimura Riki's mind ever since he had found your strawberry lip balm sitting on his bathroom sink.
Last night, you and Jake slept over at Niki's place. The three of you had so much fun playing Mario Kart all night and ordering your favorite foods. Niki had watched you put on that strawberry lip balm at least 20 times last night. You were typically the type to leave things at people's house accidentally but he didn't think you would end up forgetting something so important to you.
Niki layed on his bed, staring at the small lip balm. It was pink and decorated with strawberries and pink lettering. He held it in between his fingers, rolling it to read the label for the hundredth time. He contemplated whether he wanted to show up at your door to give you your lip balm now or wait until you noticed it was gone.
The thought of you putting the lip balm on your plump lips flooded his mind once again. The scene played on repeat until it almost annoyed him. He ran his fingers through his hair, sighing in frustration. Sure, he kinda liked you and kinda really wanted to kiss you but you were his friend. And his best friend was best friends with you too. Having the image of your blush tinted lips on his mind all day wasn't making his guilt any better.
He was even more guilty knowing that all he wanted right now was to taste your lips. Now he had your lip balm in his hand. It was an opportunity but would he feel super bad about it after? Absolutely.
Niki opened the cap of the lip balm. It had a red tint like a real strawberry and was a bit shimmery as well. The image of your lips flashed in his mind again. Maybe he would just quickly see how the lip balm smelled... He held the small pink lip balm under his nose. As you would expect, it smelled like artificial strawberries and had a hint of honey too.
The phone buzzed making him flinch, quickly closing the lip balm and tossing it to the side. Grabbing the phone, he read a text from you.
Y/n-ie♡Hey I think I left my lip balm at your house Can I come pick it up?
He immediately began typing back, telling you he had found it and he was at home.
Y/n-ie♡great I'll be over in 5
He sat up, feeling his face begin to heat. You had texted him right as he was smelling your lip balm. He felt like a total creep. Past that feeling, the desire to taste your lips still lingered, making him feel even worse.
Niki layed back down and turned to his side, eyeing the lip balm beside him. The idea of using your lip balm on his own lips popped into his mind. He quickly shook off the idea though. He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, trying to get you off his mind.
Not for long though.
He grabbed the lip balm, quickly pulling the cap off. He observed the way the flecks of glitter shimmered as he turned the lip balm. Hesitantly, he brought it up to lips. He swallowed before swiping the pink lip balm across his bottom lip. He frantically put the cap back on and threw it to the side once again. He felt horrible for using your things without your permission.
Niki licked his lips, tasting a mixture of strawberries and honey. Though he still wanted to know how it tasted on your lips.
Then there was a knock at the door. Fuck. 5 minutes had gone by too quickly. He shot up from his bed, grabbed the lip balm, and dashed toward the door. As soon as the door opened, his eyes darted to your lips. Still plump and pink even without your signature lip balm.
Great, way to go Niki.
"Hey Ki. I'm soooo glad you have my lip balm. I was looking for it all morning. I thought I was going crazy." You rambled as he tried his best to avoid looking down at your pretty lips.
"Uh, yeah. Sure. Here." He said quickly, reaching out to hand you your lip balm, still avoiding eye contact. He still felt ashamed for what he had done a few seconds earlier.
You took the lip balm from his hand. Just as he was about to turn away you opened your mouth to speak again. "Riki," Shit, his full name. You noticed already. He snapped his gaze toward you. "Did you use my lip balm?"
"No."
"Yes you did. You have glitter on your lips." Fuck. You had caught him. He stood there in silence with a look of shock like a deer in headlights. You just laughed though. He had totally overstepped a boundary and you just laughed at it. "Ki, why'd you use mine? Don't you have like 30 of your own?"
"Well, I-" He stuttered. He didn't know what to tell you. Oh yeah I used your lip balm like a total freak because I wanted to know what your lips taste like. No fucking way he would tell you that.
You raised an eyebrow at him. In addition, you crossed your arms. He could never lie to you when you did that.
"I'm sorry." he started by apologizing. "I wanted to k- to kiss you but you know... friends don't do that. So uh.. I used the lip balm and I'm really sorry. It was weird, sorry." He stuttered, bowing his head to repeatedly apologize. Again, you just laughed. His guilty expression was replaced with a look of confusion.
"You could have just told me, Ki. Here," you pulled open your lip balm and spread it across your lips. "I gotchu."
Before Niki could process what was happening, you had put a hand on the back of his neck, pulling him in to kiss him. Your lips were so much softer than he could have ever imagined. The taste of strawberries and honey returned to his taste buds but a hundred times better this time. Just one kiss had him feeling dizzy. Subconsciously, he grabbed hold of your waist, pulling you closer to him.
"As good as you imagined?" You whispered against his lips. You felt his arms wrap around you fully, hugging you tight against his body.
"Better." He said before pressing his lips onto yours again.
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© strawberrynull, 2024. Do not copy my work. Please DM for permission before translating or reuploading. Thank You
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pedge-page · 3 months
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What about Joel having to spend a night away for work last minute and reader sulking about it when he gets home and blanking him? 🤣 Cue grovelling from Joel lol
Joel Dealing with Preggo Wife: Late From Work
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Notes: I must be too yeehaw American because I had to look up what "blanking" someone meant 😂. Anyway, I had so much fun writing this! Decided to make him late rather than spending a whole night away because lets be real, she'd be serving divorce papers for that.
Warnings: brief oral (f receiving) scene; jealous!Reader, Stubborn reader is BACK
18+ ONLY:
- - - -
He knows he fucked up too. Big time. 
When he said he’d be home at the latest by 7:00pm and it’s now 7:02 and he’s just getting in the truck leaving the site. And when his call goes to voicemail for the 3rd time, and then the fourth time tells him that the number is no longer valid (he’s been blocked), he knows he’s in Big-Fucking-Trouble.
Doesn’t want to call Tommy up for help to coax partially because he wants to fix this own his own, and partially to save Tommy from your wrath you most certainly will take out on him rather than your absent husband.
He grabbed a bouquet of flowers at the grocery store (he’s already in the doghouse so what’s another 5 minutes added to his sentence) and is currently speeding home, a solid 15mph over the limit. Tonight isn’t even anything special: you had both just come back from a lovely weekend trip on the coast and were just settling back in to your house. But when Joel doesn’t deliver on his word, isn’t home for pizza and Pepsi, and sitting behind you while rubbings your back and belly for a quiet movie night…
Well, he’s never been late since the start of your pregnancy. Doesn’t want to think what hellfire you’re going to spit at him the moment he walks in that door.
So here he is about to walk in that door. He takes a big breath, not feeling this anxious since the he proposed to you, and steps in.
He immediately makes contact with you: standing at the end of the hall, illuminated by the kitchen light with your extra extra large T shirt stretched over your belly and dangling loosely around your thighs, hands by your side, barefoot, despite how often he nags at you to wear socks around the house so your feet don’t get cold. He’s thankful to see you hadn’t packed a suitcase, trying to leave the house with a “my husband doesn’t love me” stunt again. 
You clearly had just been walking past when you heard the door, not even fully turning to him but just having your head directed to the entrance the second he walked in. You briefly note the flowers in his hands before your eyes quickly go back to his. He feints an apologetic smile, heart beating so hard. You’re soooo quiet. The calm before the storm.
He gulps hard. 
Instead, you turn forward once more and continue walking towards the living room without a word.
You have a hand on your back as you gently collapse onto the couch. 
“Baby,” he says meekly, voice all tiny yet determined.
You pull your legs up over a pillow and fold open your book.
He comes to kneel beside you, immediately kissing your shoulder.
You do nothing. 
“Baby,” he says more clearly. “I’m sorry, honey. I couldn’t beat the time.”
You flip a page, tilting your head to read the fascinating text on the page rather than listen to your poor husband on his knees for you.
His fights with the sleeve of your shirt. Would you at least look at him? He’s holding the flowers still in his hand, big puppy dog eyes trying their best to plea with you, and with his irresistible pouty lips that get him just about anything he wanted from you. But you only lend him a sigh, flipping yet another page.
So it’s gonna be like that.
"Please, angel. I was tryin' so hard to leave on time like I said. They got the concrete all mixed up and it needed to be set today, was tryin' to get out of there, just couldn't get it moving fast enough, I'm sorry baby I really sped over here fast I can to see ya, couldn't wait a second longer—"
“Oh!” You gasp suddenly.
He’s started, but nonetheless quick to be by you.
You check the clock on the wall and laugh. Time had gotten away from you too. You slam your book and hoist yourself up, on the other end of the couch to avoid his anxious hands fluttering to your aid. You brush past him and start your climb up the stairs.
Joel is right behind you, a bit of hope stirring in him. Its not until you’re walking through your bedroom door—and slamming it right in his face that he gets the message loud and clear.
Perhaps he earned a night on the couch to pray your forgiveness. After finding a suitable vase for the roses, he puffs up his pillow, his back killing him (though he’d never say it aloud while you’re waddling around with a whole 'nother being in your belly for the last few months) and crashes down on the sofa.
He just makes out the light go off under the door in the bedroom before he too is closing his eyes.
Tomorrow brings a new day, and he’s gonna spend every second satisfying his wife. He’s deserves his stay on the couch tonight.
-
He did NOT deserve this bullshit.
It’s been 3 fucking days since he came home late.
3 days of waking up early, trying to kiss his beautiful wife and baby momma with sweet affirmations and praises, which you dodge and continue about your stubborn ignoring-test. He spent all morning cooking every single food you’d craved since your pregnancy started—waffles, French toast, cinnamon pancakes, toast with special mixed fruit jam you can only get at a grocery store an hour away, scrambled, over easy, poached, hard boiled eggs. All arranged so beautifully on the table, even going as far to put the napkins on the left, after you screeched at him a few months ago for haphazardly having them on either the right or left, and never with the fork consistently on top.
He thought he’d learned his lesson, thought he made more than enough up to you, but no. You breeze right by, making a cup of tea, and go back upstairs to your closed door.
Your sadistic mind had given him false hope when you hadn’t locked the door on him on night number two. He slept in his bed, but you had made a clear parry by slotting between the two of you the infernal pregnancy pillow that Joel had kept in storage since you “Much preferred your husband’s plushy belly and soothing rubs.” 
Fat chance tonight.
Every minute he wasn’t telling you how beautiful you are, how amazing you are, how lucky he is, he spends groveling with please forgive me, I’m so sorry, I’m such a worm.
None of it sways you any differently. 
By day 4, he’s given up the sweet talk and grand gestures. Goes for a “think like her” kind of mental approach. 
He tries to bribe you—either making you a Pepsi float, or even bringing home the famous Hot Fudge Cookie Dough Chocolate Gooey Fantasy Milkshake with EXTRA Rainbow sprinkles. But even as he temptingly waves in front of your little wiggly nose, you don’t acknowledge him.
He makes a big show to sigh heavily in defeat, leaving it on the kitchen table alone and trotting helplessly upstairs for a shower.
Less than 7 minutes later he’s come back down to see if you’d given in yet, maybe even telling him what a fantastic husband he is while shoveling your face with ice cream and admitting you were being dramatic. 
Instead, you’re still sitting on the couch, exactly as he left you. Of course, the milkshake cup is completely empty, sucked clean of its gooeyness, and there’s a little splotch of chocolate sauce lingering on your chin you had failed to wipe clean. 
A start, he thinks.
Still though, you don’t pay him any mind, scrolling on your phone with tight lips.  
He wonders how long you could go on with this game.  
It’s honestly a fucking terrible miracle—not even since before you were pregnant had you gone this long shutting the fuck up. But now its horrifyingly eerie, like a curse has fallen upon him and he’s doing everything he can to break it, to bring back your nagging and bitching and whining and crying because it would be so much more relaxing than this new kind of psychotic hell you’ve subjected him to.
He starts getting a little more involved: playing with your body, touching you softly with gentle strokes along your thighs and belly. You hadn’t flinched away, or tried moving to another spot on the couch. 
Which confirmed one thing to him: your horniness and lack of physical attention from your husband due to your stubborn mind was losing your mental battle to hold out against him.
So Joel doesn’t say anything either as he moves his lips over your breasts, down your swollen belly and kissing his babygirl in your bump. He mumbles, “Mommy is awfully mad at Daddy, think I can cheer her up?” 
The baby kicks as if in agreement. His gaze glances up briefly to see if you’re listening.
Your eyes catch and yours quickly dart away, leaning back and pretending to yawn. He snickers before continuing his hot trail of open mouthed kisses until your legs “shift” and “accidentally” part on their own.
He makes sweet, insatiable yet slow love to your pussy, licking a fat strip from your little clenched hole to that hot delicious center that is beyond wet for him—yet another example of how much your body clearly can’t ignore him forever.
But, ever as he brings you to a long needed orgasm, you bite your tongue, absolutely refusing to give him even the slightest sound of satisfaction despite clenching tightly around his thick digits pumping into you. Only letting out a strangled breath through your nose while you stare up to the ceiling, fingers folded across your tummy as if bored. 
He wipes away the slick from his mustache. Hell, even he can admit you deserve an applaud for making it through that without uttering a peep to his skills.
Hurts like hell on the inside though that you’re just that mad still.
He had hoped that being forced to drive with him due to your size preventing you from sitting behind the wheel would corner you into talking him, but even then, as he opens the passenger door for you, you climb aboard and slam the door shut without his assistance.
Now the two of you are on your way to yours and Maria’s weekend brunch. Tommy was also coming to drop his girlfriend off, so it would be a good time to catch him up on this unqiuely-pregnant-you madness.
You snatch your purse and hop out of the car, mood going a full 180 and instantly greeting Maria with a warm hug and perky voice. The two of you sit down at a little table way aways from your idiot husband and brother in law.
Tommy nods him over to the bar and Joel grumbles over.
“She ignoring you?” His little brother asks while shelling peanuts.
“Is it that obvious?” Joel shakes his head. He can’t even leave off with Tommy because he knows you won’t answer his texts asking what time you’re done for pickup. So he’s stuck here to wait for you the entire time.
“You try going down on—“
“Yes! Yes I fucking tried.”
“She didn’t like it?”
“Oh no, she came hard. Wouldn’t even whimper for me when she was clenching her little cunt around my fingers—” he says with an aggressive whisper, his pointer and middle fingers shooting up in the air with wild eyes demonstrating the scene, “—and her little numb twitchin’ on my tongue. Didn’t even fucking moan. She’s a stubborn girl but I don’t deserve that.”
Tommy shakes his head with a chuckle. “Damn. That’s just determination right there. Gotta give it to her.”
Tommy excuses himself with a slap to the shoulder, muttering “gotta take a leak” and disappears to the bathroom.
Joel wouldn’t mind having a drink right now, but know’s he’s gotta stay sober to drive you home. A miserable, silent filled drive once again. He glanced at his watch, following each tick of the hand.
“Hi there.”
Joel almost didn’t address the voice of the woman who had gentle snuck up behind him, moving to take Tommy’s seat. She’s probably a little younger than you, a nice kind smile, inviting and warm towards a stranger. 
Joel politely smiles back with a little nod. 
She offers a sweet “thanks”, a blush creeping on her cheeks before she begins to speak: “Listen, I don’t mean to prude… but I saw you come in and ...I’m usually not so brash—but I was wondering…”
-
Meanwhile, your baby is beat boxing extra hard today in your stomach. You can’t even focus on eating your salad and keeping up with Maria’s chatter about Tommy’s nose hairs all over the vanity. 
Your baby is smart. She knows something is up. You narrow your eyes and look around, finding Joel and company at the bar— 
Except the company he is keeping is NOT Tommy but instead, a gorgeous woman tossing her hair and flashing her pearly white teeth off at your husband, who’s giving her his full attention. She’s giggling with him, taking animatedly with her hands, lingering heavy eye contact and touching his watch as if looking for an excuse to get closer.
You forget about the massive planet sized lump in your belly as you instantly stand up, nearly tipping the table and all its dishes and cutlery over. 
Maria is calling your name but you don’t have the mind to answer, striding over like a bull towards the bar.
-
“Hiiiiiiii!”
Joel and the woman both jump at the harsh shrill of an annoying, high pitched, slightly perturbed but faking a smile, voice screeching behind them—the most beautiful voice Joel’s ever heard…and had missed so dearly this week.  
The woman looks over to you, seemingly startled that you had interrupted the conversation so brazenly.
“Oh, um, hi,” she offers, blinking off your pregnant belly and abrupt appearance.
“This is Joel,” you boast, pointing the shlump of a man in front of her.
“Ah-Hello—“ she smiles again to him.
You add quickly. “He’s my husband.”
“Oh.”
“And I’m his wife.”
“Ah—I—“
“Annnnnnnnd this is our baby!” You boast, proudly rubbing over that enormous swell of your tumtum so she can see in case it wasn’t the biggest fucking thing in this room. “And… you are?” You ask sweetly.
“Um…” she takes one last glance at Joel, his apologetic shrug saying everything then at you, your hard gaze burning holes into her head. “…leaving,” she says towards you.
“Great answer. I like you :) Bye Bye now!” You wave enthusiastically with a chipper voice and a deadly smile. She nods fretfully and pops off the stool, walking away like a threatened animal.
He just chuckles, shaking his head and looking down at his hands with a grin. “Ya know, she just came over to ask where I got my watch.”
“And did you tell her your WIFE bought it?” You ask, poking your finger at his chest.
He has to hide his crooked smile. It’s the first time you’ve directly spoken to him since Monday. “Yeah, I did. She asked where ya got it, because she was looking for one just like it—for her husband.”
Your finger fidgets slightly, expression drawing a blank at the revelation turning over in your mind.
“……………………………………………....................................oh.”
He rotates his stool to face you. You’re steeping in your thoughts, the confidence faltering just slightly in your mind at the realization of how grossly you had interpreted the situation between that innocent woman and your hubby. He didn’t even care, though. All he could think about was how his heart feels 10x lighter seeing you back in your usual, bold, daring, audacious self. All of your attention on him once again.
“I’ll admit, still felt good havin’ ya come to my rescue.”
You scoff, near offended by his words. “Well duh, you’re mine.”
“That right? Even these last few days?”
Yet another bomb goes off in your head at the second realization—that you had forfeited your punishment to ignore him to the ends of the earth.
 You cross your arms defensively anyway. “Well... I…decided.”
“Mmm?”
“That…I needed a back rub. But you clearly you can’t pick up on that on your own so—now I have to verbally tell you.”
“Ah huh. Sure it wasn’t cuz you were jealous? Couldn’t stand me being interested in another woman since my own made it clear she didn’t want me no more? Because my wife decided she couldn’t be patient and wait the extra 13 minutes I was running late before punishin’ me all goddamn week?”
Oh wait—was he really only late by 13 minutes? You could have sworn it was an hour plus!
“That wasn’t 13 minutes! Do you know how to tell time? It was over an hour—“
“Did you set your clock back like I told you to the night before when we got back from the coast, into our own time zone?”
😳
- - - -
Also this is how I see reader getting ate out but trying to be nonchalaunt about it:
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conveniently also my favorite shot of Pedro during a photoshoot
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