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ssweeneys · 4 years

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i’m having a REALLY bad day

or really past couple of weeks where work is concerned and i just wanna vent bc you know sometimes people out there in the working world understand ya know???

its long, beware. idek if i’ll keep this up its more so for me to just let it out.

so like i’m an office admin for a company (we’ll leave it nameless for protection purposes) and like i supervise receptionists for my office so i’m kinda an office manager but not technically? if that makes sense.

anyway. people these days just don’t want to fucking work like EVER and like to start jobs and then up and vanish to collect that unemployment which to me is really just dumb since there are rules to it in every state and nine times out of ten you’re making like 60% of what your normal paycheck would be and thats surely not enough to live on, so like ??? i don’t get it.

there’s been a constant rotation of receptionists come and go over the last couple of months and two girls who work for me have stepped in on numerous occasions. one lady is in her 60s and doesn’t know anything about computers and is kind of dense?? to say the least. nothing against old ladies. i actually find a majority of them cute or hilarious bc they say what they think and dont give a f*ck who it offends and sometimes that blunt honesty is refreshing and you just need it in a world where people bullshit you 24/7 to further themselves for selfish gain and yaddy yada

anyways.. over recent weeks she’s become more and more intolerable to deal with. i ask her to do things and she gives me attitude and its like the simplest of things.. like email this person, make sure you let this person know they got a package, etc, etc. she can’t do even the most basic of tasks without screwing up. her attitude is just atrocious.

and due to people coming and going i’ve had to alter our schedule a lot. recently, one girl requested off so i adjusted the older lady’s hours (lets call her--carla) mind you carla only works 1 day a week and i’ve been super generous in giving her the entire week of christmas off so -- yeah.

anyways the girl who requested off (we’ll call her nicole) told me she didnt need those days off anymore and so i fixed the schedule one more time to her original days/hours.

now, i print off the schedule every time a change is made and whoever is at the reception desk i tell them to let the other girls know and post it right by the computer they sit at every day so theres no excuse for anyone to say i didnt make them aware. well carla is not the brightest bulb as we already established and she doesnt pay attention so we pretty much have to coddle her apparently and make sure she understands (although its pointless bc she doesnt no matter how hard you try to explain something to her) ANYWAYS she comes in on nicoles day when she wasnt supposed to anymore bc the schedule was fixed, posted, etc. and she gets mad when i ask her why shes there. and yes, i understand that the rotation has fucked us all over and up in so many ways. she is not the only victim here. this has been stressing me out left and right and to no end for MONTHSSSSS. so like i get it? i’m sympathetic to that. i understand the confusion and frustration, i’m right there with them.

HOWEVER, because she’s annoyed/mad/whatever she gives me attitude all day yesterday and is flagrantly disrespectful. i’m her supervisor, regardless is someone upsets you, act professional.

but she doesn’t. we know that. or at least I DO. anyhow.. she’s mad. she’s pissed off right? she’s got an attitude. she sees the new schedule, she brings it to me in my office and asks if its the correct one for tomorrow WHICH SHE IS ON!!! let me make that clear. she was on. she asks if its correct, i’m in the middle of composing an email so i take a moment to respond ‘yes’ she huffs, storms off and goes “you know what? nevermind” i’m like.... okay?? i brush it off. i’ve been brushing off her poor attitude all damn day and i dont say A THING. BC I GET IT. I UNDERSTAND. IM SYMPATHETIC TO THAT. we all have bad days. we all get a little frustrated sometimes. we’re human, yeah?

yeah. right. ok.

so then like... carla is working the morning shift for nicole. both carla and nicole showed up. carla pitched a fit bc she came in and was already there and didnt want to go home so nicole was so sweet about it and said thats okay, she can work i understand. bc even though nicole is like half her age, she’s MATURE.

at this point i dont even understand why carla is so upset? she got to stay. she got the hours. she’ll be making the money. all is good right? WRONG.

when the next girl comes in for the afternoon shift, i over hear carla telling her about the mishap that happened that morning (yesterday) and my office is literally maybe 6-7 feet from the front desk so i can hear EVERYTHING that goes on. i mean this is my job. i’m pretty much in charge of making sure the office is running, our employees are happy, etc.

so yeah i over hear carla telling this girl that and i quote “yeah nicole came in this morning and the schedule was switched around and i stayed because i was already here. (then something unintelligible I cant make out bc her voice lowers) you know, it really pisses me off that this keeps happening.”

SHE SAID THIS. TO A NEW GIRL. MAKING ME, NICOLE, EVERYONE LOOK BAD EVEN THOUGH SHE GOT WHAT SHE WANTED, NICOLE APOLOGIZED, I APOLOGIZED FOR THE MISHAP, IVE DONE EVERYTHING FOR THIS LADY TO PACIFY HER OR WORK WITH HER OR COMPENSATE HER.

so its so infuriating, disrespectful and really downright disgusting for her to trash me, my name, etc to someone. but you know what? I DONT SAY ANYTHING. I dont cause a scene. I go about my business and let it roll off my shoulders bc at this point I know if I say anything its just going to turn ugly and I’m in a professional setting. Sometimes its better to bite your tongue, hold your head up high and move the fuck on about your business.

NOW... oh now, we’re on today. carla is scheduled to work. she came into my office, confirmed it, she was FULLY AWARE OF THIS.

so nicole calls her 5 mins before shes scheduled to clock in and is politely like hey you on your way? and carla is like oh no i don’t work today.

BITCH! THE FUcK YOU MEAN????? WE CONFIRMED THIS LITERALLY!!!!!!!!

omg i cannot at this point i really cannot

but lets proceed... so carla. she’s like yeah i dont come in, tells nicole to check with me. nicole comes to me, i smh and just sigh and am like ok i’m sorry can you please call her back and tell her shes supposed to be here and if theres any issues, transfer the call to me. so nicole calls her, they’re talking, carla is being a cunt (sorry at this point you are) and so i talk to her and shes like you know, this is so frustrating i came in there i asked you if i was supposed to work and you said no (the other girl she trash talked to idk who to name her) and IM LIKE SITTING THERE GOING ????? WHEN????? TO MYSELF BC WE JUST HAD THIS CONVERSATION

MY PATIENCE IS SO THIN, ITS NON EXISTENT AT THIS POINT IM OVER IT

IM TIRED

IM SO FUCKING TIRED AND SICK OF HAVING TO PICK UP THE SLACK AND DO EVERYTHING MY FUCKING SELF BC NO ONE CAN COME TO WORK, DO THEIR JOB AND GO HOME.

can i just make a point too that we make $12 an hour here. sometimes we are LITERALLY SO BORED we have nothing to do. we can read books or watch netflix if no one is around or i even have time to rp at times. so like THIS IS THE EASIEST JOB IN THE WORLD A FUCKING MONKEY could do it.

all you do is answer phones and transfer calls or send an email

its LITERALLY. THAT. FUCKING. SIMPLE????

so like i just dont get it

but back to the point... carla is arguing with me, basically saying my communication sucks, i’m unprofessional (which is laughable but ok) etc...

and i just cant hold it in anymore?? and i’m like well carla, i’m sorry you feel that way and i understand where you’re coming from but i don’t appreciate that you were disrespectful yesterday, you told (new girl) that you were pissed off about what happened and proceeded to talk about me in a really unsatisfactory way.

and she WANTED TO TRY AND SAY THAT THIS WAS A DEFAMATION TO HER CHARACTER. WHEN SHE FUCKING SAID IT!!!!!!!!!!! i mean you can’t but if you were to ask anyone i know i have freakishly good hearing and it gets on my family’s nerves all the time bc i need quiet when writing and i have to beg them to turn their tvs down low just so i can concentrate.

I FUcKIng HEARD THESE EXACT WORDS COME OUT OF HER MOUTH!!!! and she wants to sit here and say that i’m defaming her character.

NO BITCH. Im repeating what I fucking heard you say!!!

why would i make that up? why??? how does that benefit me in any way??? what does that do for me???? NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! i’m not benefitting from anything here.

in addition when talking to her on the phone i bring up the fact that she brought the schedule to me (the correct one which SHE IS ON) and asked me to verify if it was correct. but then proceeds to say in the same breath (contradicting herself) that she’s going off the old one????? like okay????? but you’re wrong?? SHE EVEN SAYS ITS AN OVERSIGHT ON HER CHARACTER, SHE ALREADY MADE PLANS YADDY YADA, SHE CANT COME IN TODAY

moral of the story is... she’s dumb. she’s a fucking cunt. and i hate people who try to spin things and victim blame and tell you you’re defaming their character when you call them out on something real they actually said because they’re scared little pussies and can’t just admit its what they fucking said.

yo i’d have a lot more respect for you if you just admit it. i’m not even mad??? i dont give a fuck what you think or feel about me. when i leave here every day i dont come home and cry about work or how people feel about me there.

work me is different from real me. I. DO. NOT. FUCKING. CARE. work people do not know me on a real level only a professional one. i am here to do a job, to make money, to pay bills, to LIVE. i am not here to fret over the opinions of people who do not follow me home, who do not know the real me. WHO. DO. NOT. FUCKING. MATTER.

POINT FUCKING BLANK.

THANK YOU AND GOODBYE

like seriously?? GOD FUCK! i’m so angry.

if you read all of this, like thanks for letting me vent to a total stranger lmao you’re a real one, may you be blessed today and always.

onto that note... i gotta get back to work. (lmfao fucking irony at its finest)

#im not even gonna read over this #its raw #its real #what the fuck ever

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shakespearean-tc · 5 years

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Last day of school post?

Originally posted July 3rd, 2019 Ok so i guess it wasnt my official last dayof school but it was like a month ago and i decided to,,, talk about it??? since i never did and it was literally like ugh my heART this is basically more stuff about A so if you arent interested ignore this post

So,,, the last day that i really went to school was this thing that ,,,, idk if other schools do it but its lagoon day where the seniors go to Lagoon and like half the teachers go to chaperone, right??? So i got there early because I always get to school early and I saw a familiar mess of brown hair and i just got hype??? My heart practically did the happy emote and he turned around and smiled really big and he was like “M!!!! Hi!” and he waved and stuff then he went up the stairs because he was heading to the class he was subbing for (that was before class)

Later my friends came to school and i was just kinda sitting there being a dork and daydreaming and then i was like “OH YEAH A is here!!!” and my theatre friend was really happy yknow and we jsut talked for a while and i was like “man i wish he was subbing for my french teacher, but i know hes not because she didnt hire a substitue because she knew like no one would come” and so i got a little sad but yknow i knew id see him at lunch and stuff

well the bell rang and i headed up stairs to the french room and it was empty from what i saw so i popped my head in and GUESS WHO WAS SITTING AT THE DESK

YUP YOU GUESSED IT

So i played it cool because i can totally do that yknow and just kinda leaned against the doorframe and i was like “well, fancy seeing you here.” and he looked up and smiled again and laughed and he was like “are you following me?” and i laughed and sat down in my desk and i asked him how he was etc etc and we jsut talked for a while until the bell rang signaling that class was to start but??? no one walked in??? and so i was talking to him when two of my friends walked in and stuff and so we just?? sat and played cards all period long?? i say this but we actually (A and I) broke into song because I mentioned this musical I really love (Hadestown) and A kinda stared at me for a minute and his eyes went wide and the conversation went as such:

A: “Wait, you like Hadestown?” Me: “Yeah? I LOVE Hadestown.” A: “I… I love Hadestown too! I just didn’t know that anyone liked it.” Me: “Okay, wait- What’s your favorite song?” A: “Well, Way Down Hadestown is SUPER great, but the one I really love is Wait for Me or Hey, Little Songbird. I wish I had Patrick Page’s voice. What about you?” Me: “Hey, Little Songbird is literally one of my favorites. Also same?? I wish I could sing as good as anyone in the cast.” A: *he smiled and started singing it (his vocal range is tenor so he hiked up the key and we changed the tune a bit because yes)*

So we literally ran around the room singing Hey, Little Songbird and like, 17 other songs from miscellaneous musicals. My other friends joined in too and it was so much fun

Obviously, we were still in school, and so that class period had to end ;-; I had Physics next and I was whining to him how I really didn’t want to go. He turned to me and said “Listen. You’ve gotta go to class M. If you actually get permission from your teacher to come back, then fine. But I don’t want you to skip class because you missed me.” I agreed, begrudgingly and headed to Physics, which was literally across the hall.

I went in talked to my teacher and was back in the french room in like under 15 minutes

The classroom was empty and he was just sitting at the teachers desk playing pokemon on his frigging nintendo ds and i laughed and he looked up and was like “oh hey, i didnt think you’d be back” i told him my physics teacher told me i could leave since,,, she doesnt really like me and i had already done everything i needed to do like fr its the end of the school year why would she want me to hang out in her class for an hour???

anyway i hopped up onto the table and we just,,, talked??? about everything??

I told him I was super bummed about school ending and not being able to go to Drama class everyday. He told me he was worried because him and his girlfriend were having a lot of issues lately and he was struggling with knowing to stick it out or just break it off. I told him that I was not gonna influence his decision whatsoever, but that whatever he chose,,, he needed to keep in mind that HIS mental and physical health was the most important at this point. We eventually brushed that subject away because I told him I would be of no help at all bc,,, ive like never been in a healthy relationship so i didnt know what was right and what was wrong - i dont remember how but i think he asked me how class was going and what classes i was going to be happy to be done with and i was like “hOOOO BOI HISTORY CLASS fOR SURE” and he kinda laughed and was like,,, “what why”

and i just weNT OFF telling him how trashy of a class it was and that no one would pay attention and that my teacher would always rant about democrats and liberals and just say all this garbage about how trashy immigrants were and etc etc and he just sighed and he apologised that i had to deal with a teacher like that and we started to talk about some prick in that class that went off about how rape isnt rape if she doesnt outright say no

me and A just,,, bonded over mutual disgust for this kid haha

anyway after that i just kinda,,, decided to lay down on the table bc i was tired and i kinda sighed and stared at the ceiling. I think A could tell something was up with me because he asked me what was wrong and I kinda gave him a “nothing is wrong im fine” kinda mumbled response. of course this is A and he obviously knew i was lying so he asked me again and i jsut kinda started to choke up and I sat up with tears in my eyes. Immediately he was like, “Omg what’s the matter whats up” and I just,, broke down and told him I was super worried about my friend who he knows as well. I told him that I was stressed and that I felt like our friendship was mostly one sided. That I was just there because… I was the one that put everything into our friendship and instead of her giving AND taking as well, it was just her taking and taking and i was left in the dust. I basically poured my heart out to him and told him that I didn’t want to break things off because I didn’t want to hurt her but I told him that my mental health was suffering gREATLY. Of course, he took my advice and shoved it back into my face. It went something like this,,, A: “You need to take care of yourself. You. Come. First. You put everyone else before you, and that’s such an admirable trait, but you need to take care of yourself as well. Your mental health is in danger because you refuse to put yourself first. And you need to. At least, every once in a while. Anyone is lucky to have you care so deeply for them, but… you need to step back and be selfish for a while.” (I kind of flinched when he said selfish, because I have a big issue with that word, and I guess he noticed) “Why do you- You don’t like that word. Selfish. You don’t like it, do you?” Me: “I just… I’ve been called selfish a lot by my family and past friends and romantic… partners…? I don’t like it at all.” A: “You? Selfish?” *he laughs* “Bull. You’re one of, if not THE most selfless people I know. Listen to me. It is OKAY to be selfish sometimes. Not all the time, yeah. But you need to take care of yourself.” Me: “I just… I love my friends so much that I… I’d rather that I be miserable and they be happy, because… then they’re happy. Y’know?” A: *he smiles, but I think it was kinda a sad smile because his eyes looked a little tearful* “M. You have a heart of gold.That’s rare nowadays. In my opinion, it’s a blessing and a curse. You just need to learn to take care of yourself. You are the most important person in your life.” The conversation kind of… fizzled out after that emotional,,, discussion but we did talk about college and I asked him a lot about being a student teacher. The bell rang, we said goodbye and??? That was really it? I visited him at lunch and we ate and talked a lot more because I had a bunch of questions about college (i’ve been thinking about going to the same college that he is because they have a really good teaching program) but that was,,, pretty much it. School’s been over for a while and I just asjdfajf i miss him a lot this post was so long super super sorry haha have a good day i guess??? end of the post??? how do i finish this whatever goodbye yall haha

#I adore him #He's too good to me #I love him #teacher #student teacher #student #teacher crush #teacher x student #student teacher x student #tcc #tcc blog #tcc community

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lovedeluxe92 · 5 years

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okay so i started working at jimmy johns in early febuary of this year. i needed a job rlly bad and money desperately, just something to keep me afloat and to afford food. what i experienced...i was not at all prepared for lmao. i was sexually harassed, verbally harassed, had my hours fucked with, had management and even the owners of the company who could give a fuck less about their employees, had to deal with my fellow coworkers AND managers being on k2 and other drugs, and the final fucking straw which was getting my tip money stolen from me OUT OF THE SAFE BY A MANAGER. i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with

i started working as a delivery driver. which was INCREDIBLY stress inducing at first bc i worked at the one right downtown. i had to deal with

traffic, pedestrians NOT LOOKING WHERE THE FUCK THEY WERE GOING DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PPL I ALMOST KILLED CAUSE /THEY/ DID NOT LOOK, we have ‘parking police’ and i legit got about 15-20 tickets during my time there bc that asshole was out for blood and anytime he saw my car, even if i wasnt parked illegally (oh did i mention we had like 3 parking spots all on the street and all with a 2 hour limit (: ) or hadnt been parked in a spot for the full 2 hours. so there was that.

see when i first started everything was fine. we had good employees who worked hard and did what they had to do. they were all stoners, but whatever i could care less about that. SO. our assistant manager, he was a mess. racist, homophobic, rude, loud. the worst. we would do dabs out in his car (yeah i know but i worked at a fucking jimmy johns) and he would just say the most questionable shit. i remember this one time he saw my phone background was a pic of me and my bf and was like ‘oh you like black guys? what’s your sex like? i bet it’s really good’ and im not gonna go into too much detail here, bc it upset me and its racist, but he kept going and said some REALLY creepy shit i was like wtf and told him to never speak to me like that again or i would report him for sexual harassment (side note: one time he thought i did report him for sexual harassment and was like “who are you gonna buy weed from now?” LITERALLY ANYONE YOU PIECE OF SHIT.) he would always be like “DAMN THICK’ whenever i would bend over and do everything. I TOLD MY MANAGER AT THE TIME. she didn’t do anything. AND the owners of the franchise definitely knew bc like...there’s cameras and they can hear everything we say? but no one did fucking anything. and i needed the money bad so i had to stay. of course i told him off constantly. he was white and always saying the n word. just a piece of fucking shit.

i think the happiest day of my life was when he FINALLY got fired. my manager had to go to another city for a week and help out that jimmy johns bc i guess ALL the employees and managers did a walk out (yeah this happens at all the jimmy johns owned locally in my area i wish i was kidding) and left his inept ass in charge. it took him 5 mins to make sandwiches (FREAKY FAST hello????) he was just a poor manager. but THEN he started using k2 again. and he was a zombie. there was no point of him even being there bc like he would just go to the back of the store and just stand in front of the freezer door staring for like 10-15 mins at a time.i was a driver and didnt know how to make sandwiches yet and this bitch seriously was just standing there cracked out of his mind on k2 in FRONT of customers (and i will say our customers were SO nice at least) takking phone calls slurring his words. it was embarrassing. i rememeber i had 2 customers who had waited almost a HALF HOUR for ONE sandwich bc i was having a panic attack and losing my fucking mind trying to make their sandwiches while he was in his truck getting high and refusing to come in. one of the customers actually gave me a tip and told me i was doing great and the other one was like ‘im so sorry this is happening to you, that guy is fucked up’. anyway, he passed out on k2 in his truck one night and got the cops called on him and got banned from the property :) i still saw him from time to time and he looked disgusting & miserable and it made me so happy.

mostly we just had grown ass employees, fucking 30 year olds, just acting like children. always on drugs. i had one coworker pretend to slap my ass and i called him out and he was like ‘it’s a joke im not apologizing’. people would try to take deliveries from me. AND LET ME JUST SAY, not even to fucking brag even slighly but i was the best worker there my entire time there bc regardless of where im working i am giving my 100% every day and no one else there would. but ppl always tried to step over me and did not respect me. we had one coworker who had 3 felonies and one day like 4-5 cops came to our store to tell us to call the cops the next time he showed up for work (surprise surprise he fled bc they took an hour to get to the store despite the fact we were literally like not even 4 blocks from the police station) and he was always high on k2. forever late. day after day no call no show. he had his friend get hired on who would go down to subway and talk shit about subway in his uniform??? lmao and subway called us one day and was like ‘can yall not?’ he also threatened to burn down the store and then my manager (who was always on a power trip if we’re being honest) purposefully withheld his paycheck to fuck with him, because he was fucking with her, so we dealt with him WAY longer than we should have?

then this one bitch that became manager, SOMEHOW, we were seriously always that desperate for staff and we hire anyone bc the managers are overworked af and just want to take the load off. anyway, SHE was always high on k2 as well. and she would always overshare rlly traumatic personal things from her life to me and all the customers and its like....girl we dont wanna hear that pls try and get some help. she was not currently being abused, i wanna specify. she was talking about things from her past. i sympathized with her but like im a victim of dv too lmao i dont wanna see your bruises without being asked first. and then i remember one day i left my money bag there (i kept my tips in it and had like $37 in there or something) and this bitch who was making MORE MONEY THAN ME seriously fucking went into the safe (we caught her on camera lmao) and stole that money out of my bag and left a few bills to make it seem less suspicious i guess??? lied about it to my face? then quit bc she ‘wasnt gonna sit there and be accused of something i didnt do’ like ok lmao

then to top it all off at one point my old manager just stopped giving a fuck and the store went to shit and we got complaint after complaint and she started being so rude to all of her staff, including myself (and we were like besties so i was devastated) and she cut my hours when she was submitting our work times for the checks because i would clock in early to help out....LIKE SHE ASKED? and it was just everything i said to her...her response was just the most rude and hateful voice and just....it was so rude. i cried every single day after work. she eventually got replaced and then quit

but then this new manager, whom i loved, was very depressed and just had a lot wrong with him mentally but he was still very....drama starting and attention seeking. he would talk about suicide nonstop 24/7 and not to be callous but it just made me so uncomfortable and triggered me so much? they did overwork him and i will attest and agree to that and he had a lot on his shoulders but he couldve gone to mcdonalds literally any day and gotten a job with better hours, better pay, and better benefits. i kept telling him over and over to leave bc he had so much managerial experience he couldve been hired anywhere! all resteraunts down here are perpetually hiring, especially for managers! i would know bc i was looking for another job lmao. but he’d text me every night saying things like ‘well lets hope i drink myself to death’ ‘suicide is painless’ etc. and it was just......VERY uncomfortable for me, as someone who has attempted suicide and still struggles with ideation from time to time lmao it was just the most triggering environment ever

like idk how i lasted that long but i worked my ass off, saved up my money, have a good paying job and im trying my best to forget this entire experience (honestly i did have some good times) but i really dont....think i can lmao

ON A POSTIVE NOTE: we had some of the kindest and most caring customers ive ever had in my life. i was shocked. but the amount of times i had a shitty customer in my entire time there i can count on one hand lmao like....even when they were shitty they were like ‘im sorry i know yall work hard and everything’ like i miss my customers SO MUCH because we actually had relationships with them and shit and ugh god. if the customers were shitty tho i would never have kept this job lmfao

i stayed at this job simply bc i made enough money for rent and my bills perfectly and it was one of the few jobs where i was paid an hourly wage + tips. and i wanted my next job to be a job in my field. that’s why i stuck around so long, it took some time to do that.

so yeah theres my mess i love anyone who read this and you can have my first born and be the beneficiary to my life insurance when i die

#tw: racism #tw: sexism #tw: suicide #tw: drugs #idk...what else to warn y'all about. just know this is a fucking #mess #i mean these arent horrific mentions of any of these things but i dont wanna trigger anyone unintentionally #better safe than sorry with tws

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gavis-bettel · 5 years

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i just saw a post about symptoms of childhood depression and idk if ive ever talked about this here but

every time i try to think about how my depression developed when i was a child i am BLOWN AWAY by the fact that i was Very Severely suicidal as young as 7 or 8 years old

like i have very distinct memories partly because it happened during my first road trip with my family. i distinctly remember just desperately wanting to jump out of our hotel room window and we were a good few stories up so i didnt have any doubt it would kill me and i didnt even think of why i would want to do it or that it was such a serious thing to want to kill myself bc idk if i even knew what suicide was at that age

and around age ten i was on another trip with my mom and brother and it was a ton of fun! we went to a family reunion which i always enjoyed and it was in a totally different climate zone which was super cool to experience for the first time and my mom got me pokemon diamond so i would have something to do and i loved that game so so much

but on a cable car ride the park ranger or tour guide or whatever her position was mentioned that it would take seven seconds to fall from the height of our cable car onto the face of the mountain and all i could think of was how much i wanted to pry the doors open and jump and count those seven seconds and how disappointing it was that the car was full of people and someone would stop me if i tried

and then we went on a hike and i kept looking for any slope that would be sheer and tall enough to kill me if i fell but luckily we were on the safest most beginner/child friendly trail

and earlier that year i was going through a really stressful time in school and i frequently imagined ways that i could fall on our sharpest kitchen knife so it would kill me as quickly and painlessly as possible, or how to drown myself by looping a belt through the grate of the drain at the bottom of our swimming pool, or how to poison myself but i didnt think too hard about that one because i had a tendency to throw up a lot as a kid and i wanted the most surefire way

and at age twelve my best friend was also depressed and suicidal and she told me about how she wanted to poison herself or kill herself in other ways i cant remember bc its been a decade, but i decided that if she wanted to die too then i should try and i think it was before the pass out challenge but i remember hearing a news story about a child strangling himself to death playing a game or something so i actually tried to strangle myself and i could have fucking done it but i stopped bc i got a little freaked out by my neck going numb and seeing spots of light so i put the belt i was using away and just went to bed lol

and in the morning i messaged my friend about it and she was actually kind of freaked out i think. i remember seeing the little red spots from blood vessels bursting in my eyes and i was lucky i didnt bruise bc while i never really realized just how fucked up and abnormal being suicidal was (at any age, let alone 7-12), i also never told anyone about it except my friend

and interestingly enough around that time one of my teachers mentioned to my mom that i seemed depressed and recommended that i see a professional about it but my mom asked me if i was depressed and wanted to talk to someone and of course i said no because i was a shy kid and also never really knew there was actually something very seriously wrong with me... she chalked it up to my grandma (who i kind of hated and didnt miss at all, lol) dying a few months earlier and we all just kind of forgot about that

and funny enough, after my suicide attempt i didnt contemplate suicide again for several years - i might have been sixteen or seventeen the next time i even thought about dying like that. of course, starting in the tenth grade (age uhh... 15-16?) i had my first Springtime Major Depressive Episode, which made me lose any and all interest in school starting some time after spring break and before finals, and this happened ever year up until 2016, when i had my worst one yet and failed all my classes bc i didnt go to half of them, didnt do half my homework, and stopped studying altogether while also becoming completely obsessed with dead animals and constantly dissociating so badly i was almost convinced i had DID (and i still have posts on this blog talking about having alters and all that shit bc digging them all up to delete them is too much work and i might want to read back through all that mess if i ever have to go through such a severe episode again (knock on wood) ). and like, it was so bad i actually told my mom i was having a rough time for the first time ever, and she gave me her prozacs bc she didnt actually take them anymore (they didnt work on me, unfortunately). the summer following all that was marked by fits of anxiety and rage bc i had family visiting for a few weeks and it was too stressful for my poor half-melted brain but i managed to get through all that and the depressive episode ended and i actually got my act together after that and haven’t failed a class since and ive only skipped like 1-2 times per semester since then and i was sooo proud of how well i did and 2017 i didnt have my big springtime mde

but now i feel like im slipping again and i dont know if i can handle disappointing myself like that again. i was actually considering dropping out for a while because im not going to graduate in a clean four years, some people i graduated high school with have already gotten their degrees and started their careers, and im also just fucking tired of being in school. but my advisor told me im on track to graduate next fall and that made me feel so much better

but then i realized i cant focus during class. i dont remember huge chunks of lectures and sometimes its a struggle to turn in homework on time, let alone actually study. theres a good chance i could fail one of my classes, and a slight chance i could fail another. and i promised myself that i would get help if things got bad again, theres a psych clinic right on campus thats covered by tuition, but it feels like im doing all i can to make it to class and then im exhausted and just want to go home... im honestly feeling kind of lost here. like i know exactly what i can do to help myself and maybe salvage some fucking brainpower before finals start, but i just have no motivation and mentally its like im barely even here

or like, my brain’s being smothered and i cant pay attention or do anything because theres so much fluff blocking everything out...

well, at least now i have a little account of my mental health history in case i ever do manage to see someone lol

#star emoji #depression //////#suicide ment //////#description of s/ui/cide attempt//////////#honestly just dont even read this i just need to get this off my chest bc my mental health hasnt been great lately and it might help #oh god this got super long actually please ignore this #OH SHIT WAIT readmores dont work on mobile do they #fuck im so sorry to anyone who has to scroll through all this shit but i Needed to type this all out im sorry #long post

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kookmint · 6 years

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Hi Immy, you've probably been bombarded with questions about the concert and I'm sorry to add another one to the mess. I was just wondering if you had trouble seeing them perform when they weren't at the front stage? I know you said (and drew lol) that you were right at the gate but were they performing on that stage the whole time? One user said she couldn't see anything throughout the concert until they started coming up to the extended part of the stage. (1/2)

I’m 5'3 so I’m worried that even if I get right near the front, I won'tbe able to see them anyways. If I were to go for the P2 or P3 tickets, would I still need to line up and would I still be able to get merch if I come a few hours before it starts (instead of right inthe morning)? Thanks again for all your help in answering these questions! (2/2)

Yeahhhh I have been :/ and yes I couldn’t really see them at all when they were on the main stage. No they weren’t performing on the extended stage the entire time. It was about…half and half maybe idk. What that user said was 100% Uhm well I’m 5′1 and I struggled so if you’re not ok with it, pit is probably not best for you. No you would not need to line up if you are p2 or p3 bc they are seated. U literally wouldn’t need to show up until an hour till the concert. and its no problemmmm

anon said: Are you still planning on lining up early morning? :)

I think so yeah, my plans are shaky

anon said: not really a question, but i’m trying to buy tickets for my first bts show and i’m beyond stressed. i want to go so badly but i won’t even have a way there, so there’s a part of me that’s like “girl don’t steal someone else’s ticket” and then one part is like “get that damn ticket and get your license before oct. 2” but even if i did get my license, i don’t wanna go alone? i have no friends that like bts and that sucks because i don’t wanna go to chicago by myself :((

Aw man, well, I guess you getting a ticket is better than a scalper getting a ticket cause you can always sell it back to someone who can go :/ Just do your best to get there but its ok if not my friend! I’m sure you can find a groupchat or something of ppl going to chicago ^.^

anon said: Hey love. You must be tired of answering questions about the tickets/concert stuff, but how long were you in line to get a spot in like “2nd” row? I plan on going about 7/8 hours early, but my friends are still freaking out about getting floor seats.

a bit yeah, i feel like ive said all i can say. uhm i was in line for about 13 hrs. Idk as long as you’re in the first 200…300 maybe, you should ok. It’s just all based on luck idk you never know when ppl will start lining up

anon said: sorry if you’ve already answered this but do you know if there’ll be more than 1 stage? do you think seats is better than standing? i really want to enjoy it for my first kpop concert and i’m going with my mum. someone else also told me that asian concerts have floor seats so what i could do is get seated for this one then when i go to asia get floor seats. but at the same time i dont want to miss out on being close to them. i have awhile to decide anyway, are u still close even if u have seat

I don’t know, they havent released their stage set up yet, we are going to have to wait :/ And it depends if you’re ok with watching like ½ of the concert on one of the stage and the other half on screen. Seats will most likely be worth your time more? If you are going with mom you may wanna sit. Yeah concerts in asia have seated floor seats. I mean its all your decision since I don’t live in asia and idk what its like to have seated floor seats

anon said: do you think groups pay more attention to fans in seats or standing? for instance you know those fan cams where the idol waves directly at them or they somehow get their attention. one of bts said in burn the stage how they take time to look at fans during concerts, make eye contact etc would there be a better chance of making eye contact with someone in seated area or standing area? kinda annoying that you spent so much on tickets but didnt see half the concert

I feel like this should be the least of your worries…idk dude where they look. And i guess so yeah. That’s why im gonna try to get seated seats as well

#anon #a:concert

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burningalight · 4 years

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my binders/locker in grade school were stuffed with so much shit i couldnt find anything...always crumpled up papers, trash etc

chewed pencils/pens, broke them taking them apart in class, lost them, often didn’t have one, frequently borrowing them and forgetting to give them back to the point that certain people wouldn’t give me pencils

could comprehend reading i liked very well, but when we’d have reading groups with boring books id always be lost, or when the teachers would have one on ones and have u read something short and ask questions after to assess ur reading level, they’d often have to tell me to read it again bc they knew how much i remembered didnt add up to my intelligence and reading speed

moms college friend gave me an unoffical iq test and i did much worse than i know i shouldve on the reading portion bc she’d play a story and then ask me after to list every detail i could remember and i couldn’t remember anything. but when she played 10 numbers and asked me to say them out loud backwards i scored extremely high ?

couldnt do projects, would be in tears, last minute every time, parents mad bc i need a poster board RIGHT NOW ITS DUE TOMORROW . hated assigned reading, horrible at essays even when they helped us plan them.

i remember my 7th grade social studies teacher assigning a paper, i wrote extremely detailed and well in the first paragraph or 2, and the following ones got shorter and shorter and were completely bullshit bc i got bored. she told me ‘really strong first paragraph.’ and gave me a B

talk too got damn fast. customers constantly telling me to slow down bc they cant understand me

my mom always says she had to challenge me as a kid bc i would get bored and get in trouble. i was acting out bc i was understimulated, i happened to like learning (esp numbers and puzzles) bc smart so that’s what i could fixate on and felt stimulated by

lunch detention frequently in 8th grade in my first highschool class, algebra, bc i wouldnt do my homework, at one point he just stopped giving lunch detention for that bc i wouldnt do it. i hated that class bc the math was boring and i never paid attention but would somehow pull off a’s and b’s on tests so i ended up with a B. my first B, and i had brought that up from a D (told my mom it was almost a C, he gave a really hard test and we all did bad etc, when she had to sign a paper about my low grade) at the end of the year, during the exam i was so confused the whole time, it was my first highschool exam and i didn’t know ANYTHING. i ended up with a 92 from guessing, and a curve, and every one of my friends got at least a 93 or better and i felt so stupid bc i was supposed to be the best at math

i would take every highschool class in honors but not one english class bc it required more essays and summer reading and i knew i wouldnt do the reading and would cry over the essays

the only other class i didnt take honors was chemistry bc i knew the honors teacher had a lot of projects and i would be stressing over them. i ended up with an A in the standard chem class even tho i never finished any work in class and didnt do homework, but i was still the smartest in the class and did the best overall

lunch detention for forgetting to get papers signed like report cards. they weren’t even bad grades i just couldnt remember. one time i got actual detention for forging my moms signature bc i got lunch detention for several days straight bc i kept forgetting to get the paper signed

often had permission slips waiting to be signed the day before the field trip, or told my mom it was picture day the day before or morning of. one time i totally forgot it was picture day and didnt dress up

acting out and not thinking ab the consequences, many referrals.. many more times that my teachers let me get away with acting out when someone else doing the same thing would’ve been punished. one time anna and i left in the middle of class to go with emma to the library, only emma had permission, and my teacher had anna and i do wall sits instead of going to the office. in gym in middle school i would never dress out. i hated the clothes and hated gym bc i was awkward and if we didnt dress out we had to copy pages out of the health textbook the entire time and i would barely write 2 paragraphs bc i was so bored and my hand hurt and he never did anything ab it. i wouldnt dress out at least twice per week if not more. told my mom I had a C bc he had it out for me but i was the problem

in elementary school if we didn’t come to gym day wearing the right shoes we had to go into the back and pick out a pair of sneakers that fit out of a box of shoes, and also borrow socks if necessary. i had to do this frequently bc i never remembered to wear the right shoes

i would extremely often forget my library books and have to sit on the couch waiting for everyone to pick out their books for half an hour

when we were even younger we’d have story time and you had to sit in the middle of the floor inside a big circle of chairs where everyone else was if you forgot your library books. i lost one at one point for months and my parents didnt just pay for it so i had to sit in the middle every time. we found the book on a shelf somewhere in the house

my chorus teacher never liked me bc i talked too much and i always felt like the worst singer, not bc of my singing but bc she wasn’t ever nice to me

in 7th grade science we learned latin root words and every day we’d play a game where we all stood up and one by one he’d ask for a root and we’d give it. if you got it wrong on the first round you’d have to write it on a piece of paper x amount of times and turn it in. if you were the last person left you were allowed to sit on your desk for the rest of the year, during these games while everyone else had to stand up. i wanted so badly to sit on my desk, esp bc i was fidgety and couldnt stand still, but i would never study them bc i’d forget or not want to if i did remember, even tho i really wanted to know them and sit on my desk. that teacher had a huge soft spot for me and one day i just started sitting on my desk during those. everyone knew i was smart, and it was all the smart kids who got to sit on their desks, so no one questioned it. im not sure if he knew i wasnt supposed to and just let me, or didnt realize i hadnt won bc i was smart.

hyperlexia? mom said i could practically read before i was taught. i’ve always obsessively air written, ie writing words out w my finger in the air, on my leg etc.

esp during lectures i doodle excessively to the point that my papers margins have always been covered with random scribbly overlapped words, or song lyrics. the words are usually something someone in the class said. ive started keeping an extra sheet of paper just for scribbling when im taking notes or listening in class. when we finished end of year tests in school i would write down full lyrics to songs on my scrap paper so i wouldnt be so bored. my hand cramps up so much but it was better than staring or trying to sleep with the lights on

doing things and forgetting to turn them in

hyperfixating on books to cope w boredom and social anxiety, at one point read one per day, i was definitely one of the most frequent people in the library

‘ The way I see it is if I can get information into my mind, I can do a lot with it but getting it in there in the first place is the really difficult part.’ - not mine

none of my teachers ever told my mom any of this i dont think, bc i was the smartest and i always got good grades, most had a soft spot for me BUT COULDNT SEE I HAD ADHD like damn. one time my fourth grade teacher whom i liked a lot was mad at us and indirectly calling people out, and referred to the fact that some of us never stopped talking , then made direct eye contact with me and i felt rly embarrassed bc i didnt realize i did that until she mentioned it

i often had to move seats if i was near friends bc i wouldnt stop instigating talking

at big lots when i had to run the register i was so painfully bored , fidgety, had to sneak my phone soo much bc i was so bored. when i was on the floor i would put away the go backs very quickly and then take upon myself a project like going through the entire wall of individual drinks and pulling out all the expired ones, it was like 5 carts full. my manager put me in charge of organizing the entire makeup section and all the gross clearance makeup bc she knew id do it the best and fastest

when bosses have me do inventory i can count the products super fast and efficiently, but then when they have me put them into a spreadsheet i stare at it for hours getting nothing done bc distracted and its boring. ammar told me if i’d just get off my phone i could get it done bc he’d been asking for it for weeks, i wasnt trying to ignore it

when im trying to do something at work that needs more concentration, i want to cry with frustration whenever i hear the door chime and have to get up and help customers and break my focus

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yumenosakiacademy · 7 years

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Me.trocon 2017 Saturday

diary for future me, read if you want but it’s rly only 4 myself tbh. Cosplayed: mik.an Tsumiki

OKAY so the morning was rly bad and hectic and i dont like remembering it but i woke up and got ready bc the lol.ita fashion show was at 10 am and dad n i left and dad stopped by burger king to get himself some food but my cramps flared up BADLY and i had a midol in my bag so i took it out but im afraid of pills and cant swallow them so i was shaking and then i started crying and the drive-thru girl was like “oh gosh are you okay?” and i explained what was going on but rushed and sloppily and she was like “oh this happens to my lil sis too.. it’s okay sweetie just relax” or soething and i had dad park the car in the parking lot of burger king and for me to put my midol in a BK crospy crown and take a huge bite and swallow but that backfred and i chewed some of the pill and it was Blegh but the midol didnt kick in right away and the cramps were still v bad so i had dad rive me home so i could lie down for a while and i asked mom to use the heater bc she accidentally woke up so i asked her while she was awake and she kept saying no bc she liked it but when i begged she let me use her bed and used mine and it barely helped but overtime i gradually geew okay and hadd to calm myself so the stress wouldnt make my cramps return and i left at like 11 am and i missed the BB panel too but it’s Okay and i walked in and met up w haji near the ticket place and thankfully her mom let us wander around the con

so we went to the GF panel but i was mainly distracted by a small octopus plushie on some guy’s head and haji n i kept joking abt us knocking it off his head and abt the guy playing space jam and bassboosted music outside the panel room and it being audible whenever someone opened the door to leave or come in pff... but the dipper did the lamby dance and it was cute aa and the dipper offered ppl in the audience scooby snacks to any of the audience so haji n i had one n it was rly good aa i hadnt had one of those in years theyre Yummy...

Anyway, after that, i tried to go to the DR meetup, but it was rly rly tiny?? like we held it inside w like 2 handfuls of ppl and we tried to get the junkos to step on the tsumikis (there were 3 of us, including me) w 2 junkos bc i requested it but the junkos didnt wanna accidentally pantyshot the camera so we got up from our kneeling positions haha and haji went to the dealers room for a while while this was going on and i tried to help the mikan when she said she got a cut on her face but she said it was alright and eventualy haji came back and i left w her and we decided not to go to the m.lp panel that i kind of wanted to go to and instead went to the dealers room and looked around and i showed her the idol merch table and haji said she’d buy me anything bc she didnt get to give me a birthday present earlier on in the year so i looked around for a Big hamster plushie or something but those seemed expensive so we came back to the idol table and got me the tori keychain i’d been wanting since yesterday or thirsday and haji got a tsukasa and then we ran into the ppl running the fine panel and we all joked abt “ALL WOMEN ARE QUEENS, EICHI!!”

and we walked around for a bit more before going to the rw.by panel but we could barely hear and we had to sit at the back of the room due to lack of seats so haji and i just whispered to eachother the whole time and i had haji read part of an en.stars smut fic w impregnation kink (just kink not actual mpreg) and a lil stupid thing i wrote abt rei and koga and then we watched the service dog near us near the other corner and watched it lick the carpet and Rest and enjoyed watchin it then we tried to walk around and someone asked for a pic of me but i was like “UHH WHERES MY SYRINGE PROP” so haji thought i elft it on the floor of the other panel and she left to go find it while i waited near these ppl bc they were just hanging out anyway and i kept worrying like “shes been gone for a while.. is she okay this shouldve been quick oh god” and my cramps started returning a lil but i tried to keep myself calm and the uraraka was like “are you okay i can go try n retkrkieve her if she got lost” and i was like “it’s okay” and eventually i checked deep in my bag and found it and i tried to call haji but she arrived just as i called her and i was like “i found it im sorry aa” and then we Ran to the en.stars panel

AND THE EN.STARS PANEL WAS SO SO MUCH FUN!! I have the first half recorded on video and since it’s rly late rn, i wont type too much abt that, but i asked eichi if he was anyone’s sugar daddy and, if not, would he be mine and he said he was kind of one to hajime and bought him lots of things and haji asked who was the most into minions and it was apparently Tori and i showed them the scooby doo au i made w some of haji’s assistance and showed wtaru (and the others) the Scoobkai Doonata that i drew and they all were laughing and i wa glad aa and the topic of vore came up again and i showed them shino’s ku.rochia vore post and the kiryu was like “OH MY GOD CAN I GIV U MY TWITTER SO I CAN BE SENT THAT” and the panelists were laughing and tori read the tweet aloud while laughing and i told them the ensemble vore account and eichi was like “well, theyve prob gained more followers today” and i asked if anyone in the audience wanted to see it and omeone rasied their hand so i showed them and they were laughing too and it was Wild.wataru apparently named his doves after fine members and tomoya, and i asked kiryu if he could lift rabits + fine and they nodded and i later asked if he knew that he’s a thicc bara and the fandom thirsts for him and he laughed and nodded. Haji asked them if they’d heard rainbow circus nightcore bassboosted and the eichi said they played it at practice ssometimes (i thick this was ooc not in-character answer) and someone in the audience actually KNEW the person who made that and messaged them and they messaged them that tori said they liked them and the rainbow cisurcus stuff and the person replied w “ Why” and honestly this whole panel was FUN but so someone told us where the en.stars buttons were so the fine group, their friend the kiryu, haji, and i all went to the booth and got buttons and i said goodbye to eeryone and walked around for a minute then haji n i went into the vol.tron talk panel and haji had to leave aww and after that the vol.tron panel was mostly shitty fanfic reading, swearing, and roasts and i wanted to go to vol.tronival but for reason i thought thatd be rude bc the panelists were like “we have to compete w... THAT” and so i stayed and went on my ipad most of the time.

I went to the per.sona 5 q and a and it was so full that i had to stand in the back but they sometimes kept bringing up per.sona 4 and perso.na 3 so i was confused and they said they were abt to start trivia and it might have spoilers so i took that opportunity to leave bc i dont want spoilers and it was kind of boring so i walked around the dealers room and i found a Rock and Uno and i talked to them and turns out the Rock was actually the mondo from the day before bc they said “hey, sweetie!” in a nice tone and i was confused and they were like “ah im the mondo btw!” so we talked and i talked abt how i watched both seasons of nan.baka in like.. 2 days and i was like “uno’s best boy-” and rock (as a joke) went deadpan and walked away and i was like “ROCK IS ALSO A GOOD BOY JUST.. UNO...” and rock came back and i said that uno and nico stole my heart and uno fistbumped me and rock was like “you should cosplay w us sometime~!” and i said i was considering doing uno but couldnt and i cant do most of the characters bc long sleeves and rock said i’d be cute as the chinese qi kid and i was like “i cant paint myself either but thank you!” and they had to leave but i got rock’s tumblr and they called me cute or sweet and i looked around the dealers room for a second more before scurrying to the LL panel and apparently the thing was 2 hours??

but anyway it was p funny and we all just messed around and did q and a and games like handshake killer and karaoke! i sang half of Sentimental Liars but my voice wasnt as loud as i wouldve liked it and kind of shaky bc i was cold and Nervous and the nico from the panel and another random guy clapped for me and the 2 en.stars fans in front of me said my voice sounded nice and at some point i overheard those 2 talking abt making a screamo cover of melody in the dark and i was like “omfg are yall gonna actually make a cover. go fully hardcore” and Dead girl walking and candy store got sung and it was a Fun panel. the kiryu from earlierwalked in too so when everyone was talkign to eachother near the end of the panel, i asked shino if they wanted to say anything to the kuro and shino asked them how ranking went and the kiryu said they couldnt rank and shino was just so happy and keysmashing and asked f i could say “pls lift me mr.bara” and the kiryu chuckled and the kiryu was like “do they want me to like.. do anyfin?” so i asked shino and all he said was “DAB” so i took a pic of the kiryu dabbing and shino said they hadnt been feeling well so it cheered them up so i told the kiryu that and they said to tell shino that that made them happy and when the kiryu and i swapped tumblr apparently they already follow me and im like “FGNEGN DUDE.. I KNO U IVE SEEN U IN MY FOLLOWERS LIST IM YUMENOSAKIACADEMY ROX...” n they were like “oH” and they showed me a funny post abt shu and i proposed a tri.ch shu hc and then they ahd to leave but i stayed for the vol.tron panel but i was messaging shino thru most of it but i saw lynds (as lance) get hugged by the panel’s lance and i read some en.stars doujins and messaged another friend too so i wasnt paying much attention, then istill stayed in the room for the rw.by panel, but same i was just on my ipad but i saw some of the dares and the jaune sang and stuff and evemtually it was over and i walked around taking pics before going outside to wait for dad to pick me up

and i took a pic of a pidge, lance, and keith and gav em lollipops and the pidge was like “omg ur nails.. wait, did u go to a hai.kyuu panel last year?” and i was like “ah, no i was casu.al d v a” and they were like “yea, but u went TO a hai.kyuu panel, yea?” and i said yea and they were like “aa i was the hinata u talked to. i recognized u bc the nails” and i laughed bc thats my only noticable feature, huh. pff

#U COULD TELL I RUSHED TYPING THE END OF THIS ITS ALMOST 4AND I HAVE TO SHOWER AND WAKE UP FOR THE CON TOMORROW TOO AA #diary #pill mention

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yung-cringe-blog · 7 years

Text

Where Your Acne Is And What It Looks Like Can Tell You What’s Causing It

Thus checking out your problem areas could give you I was there to become a certified open water diver, a classification that should allow me to scuba dive in the world's most fascinating waters. We watched a video titled Risk awareness for scuba diving and went over basics from the first chapters of our textbook, Open Water Diver, similar to how to select and use our equipment and how being underwater affects our bodies. Know what, I really enjoyed reading everyones posts and the Chinese Face Mapping. So here is a question. Any advice on that for women my age?

I am sure it's hormonal and bacterial gether and that is why it's so a problem to shed. I have considered getting on birth control to if you're at this point after that, don't sweat it. Merry christmas and happy holidays my Love Vitamins! Christmas present for yourself? I'm having a holiday sale on my Naturally Clear Skin Academy. Online. January 3rd! Usually. In the initial stage they dint hurt but nearly any time I think they are bout to disappear, others come under the skin and have now began to hurt a little. Anyways, Been attempting to zone in on what could have been the cause but not quite sure. A well-known fact that is. Am on the coil and I donno if thats not working anymore.

So figured out that sugars and oily food stuffs also cause them from time to time.

Bout 3months ago I got this breakout that is on my forehead.

I really don't understand since I have never had such kind at really similar time. Know what, I have always had pimples everytime my period is round the corner. Certainly, They pop in random spots on my face. Besides, I have also been definitely super stressed for quite a while now though wouldn't know if that is the cause. I get candida and I've been treating an oth problem with that, when I take antibiotics. Basically, When am stressed my eating goes to zero. Small under the skin rashes and they seem to not go away. Makes me a lil uneasy coz they dont seem to go away. Although, They are not whiteheads as such but they do appear that way sometimes. Need my face back. My daughter has dreadful spots along her jawline which is obviously hormonal. She is trying for a baby for 6 years and now started IVF. I'm quite sure I wonder why they don't give her Actually I am sure That's a fact, it's either diet related.

I do consume a decent quantity of sugar daily.

To be honest I wish I could cut it out and eat SUPER healthy and everythingbut I AM 14 and I have tried it, and since I don't make my own food normally it's pretty hard. I ld my Mom, who is a CPM and going on CNM, and she said she does not suspect PCOS. Keep an open mind about these things -none of them are 100percentage accurate, conclusive, or true for everyone. They're just guidelines that may or may not be accurate for your particular case of acne. Of course, I hope you find them interesting and enlightening nonetheless! Maybe it's something in the water where you are that ain't in your hometown's water? That's either irritating your skin from the outside when you wash it, or reacting internally… for sake of example, sometimes people react to fluoride thelovevitamin.com/2744/'couldfluoridebecausingyouracne'/.

Actually I never had a real issue with my skin before I moved to Australia 5 Years ago.

I went to the doctors and asked to take I actually am now 25 and I have these funny little lumps on my forhead, they never develop into sore redish lumps. It's is so frustrating cause I work in a beauty industry and I know everything about a perfect skincare regime! Ok, and now one of the most important parts. As soon as the lump has healed a brand new one forms. I have wen on similar contraceptive more than 2 years. My boyfriend asked me the other day what rash is that. It is I get them around my mouth. Now regarding the aforementioned fact... They just sit there and I only remove them I squeeze them.

Hi, To be honest I am new to this and are reading and I am excited I am not alone however my face seems worse than most posted… I have cystic acne in zones 5, 9, 11, I have never had acne before and I am in my mid 30s.

It is very painful and my face is scaring and So it's so embarrassing.

I actually am planning to start again tonight. Usually, I have oral antibiotics but they don't seem to work. By the way I know I shouldn't let something just like this get me down but it does and I am just being honest. I can't tell you what amount doctors I'm to and what amount creams and washes I have tried over the last few years. Just keep reading. Again I am not very good at taking a pill everyday.

If you don't believe me Google candida acne antibiotics or something like that and read for yourself.

Two years later I am still fighting to get normal since not only did my skin get bad but it lead to bad eyes, thyroid, liver, intestines… don't let it get that bad for yourself.

It only messes up your body. STAY AWAY FROM ANTIBIOTICS LONG TERM!!! Best wishes!! Drys my skin out./ the struggle By the way I also have a bunch of blackish heads on my chin but there not bad/noticeable so they don't bother me.

My forehead is fine I rarely get pimples there, maybe the odd one every few months.

I get it badly on my checks Down wards my chin, it's like a trail.

I'm wondering if you could give me any advice. My diet is fine I eat healthy I drink coffee a fair bit but I also drink a bunch of greenish tea. The I get them under my jaw, near my chin and along down where my glands are./ I have adult eczema so my skin is constantly dry. For example, I can't go on aracutaine, It's not cystic acne. Oftentimes I'm only 19 and get similar problem. For example, Pimple cream helps with the redness but it just drys my skin out so I don't like to use it all that often. That's in different areas on my face, I actually don't like to have sugar as long as I break out. Therefore, It varies on my skin. I actually also exercise about 4 times a week for about half an hour and I try to drink 2 litres + of water daily. Since I'm still going through puberty and developing as we don't stop growing until where Salt water will attempting to fight the redundant fat, you should be exercising that could be causing your acne to get worse. I'm 34years old. Its very redish after a shower. I eat gluten free very healthy. Now please pay attention. When the skin flairsI have stomach digestion problems. Its really like that for quite a while thence will seem more normal again for awhile before it starts drying again. It is wrinkling way faster than I thought it should and is so dry looking even with coconut oil on it. Any idea where I shoukd start? Yes, that's right! For the past 6 months my face skin has gone thru stages of normal to very dry, dark red burning.

Never ever had a skin issue my whole life till 6 months ago so I'm at a loss as to where to atart.

Did you ever find anything?

The struggle I'm quite sure I am identical age, and legit have the same acne. You should take this seriously. By the way I moisturize with an equal part vaseline and honey mixture with small quantity of tea tree oil, and that seems to I'm almost sure I ok that to mean you were eating something that was causing problems in your gut, and in my case that was true. Cheeks are broken up into upper and say. This is the first map I've seen that doesn't include that. Consequently, I have seen a couple face maps that show cheeks being stomach. Time to start eating healthy, take a multivitamin, and probiotic I reckon!

The skin is merely reflecting the inflammation and damage going on inside. Social pressure or not, only one thing I have a question about is taking vitamin D with Vitamin I read that vitamin an and D don't mix well in high quantities since they counteract each other and can become xic to your body. You find this valid or should I start eating spinach and identical high sources of vitamin A, right? For the most part I've been in the process of changing my eating habits since early 2013 as in less processed and more fresh foods I dont really even eat meat except for nearly any once in a while although I do love seafood.

Hi Tracy so I finally think Ive figured out what the big problem is…and surely I have a wheat sensitivity or allergy which sucks being that I LOVE bread and most things made of or containing wheat especially sweets!

I figured it out just recently as I finally said to myself this needs to stop.

By the way I am addicted to sugar and its a habit I am working on breaking. I had been noticing that every time I ate something containing wheat that I will get a painful bump under my jaw and it was only on my left side but after that, it started to spread to my right side which was completely clear and this whole time I thought it was other factors similar to the oils from my hair or my pillow cases or even my hormones as last year I stopped taking bc and I thought that my system will just regulate its self but its a year later from so and my face is still acting up so anyways on Sunday the 9th of February, a week from today, I cut all wheat products out from my diet and guess what… I stopped getting painful lumps under my jaw and after that to test it on the 14th my bf and I went to eat Vietnamese and he had ordered egg rolls so just to see if I will get one I ate an egg roll and just as I thought I did get a couple painful lumps under my jaw line so I am pretty sure that is my problem as long as I also thought it I dont drink high sugary beverages just mainly water although I've been thinking about investing in probiotics to eliminate all that nasty wheat and regulate its self again.

Im preparing to do the hot cold compress tonight, and maybe apply some hydrocortisone to my be great, as its very painful. That's interesting. I've been on a very good diet for about a month, a little more. Im currently seeing a naturopath and have had the hair cell test done and was ld I have a range of problems, very low progesterone, liver conjested.

DIM supplements aswell for a few months. I read that when you first start taking progesterone cream it can exagerate symptoms as first. Jessica, I'm 23 years old. Known have beau's lines on both of my big toes. I went and got blood work and I am waiting for my results. I didn't take it serious. This all happened in the past 11 months, and I am now starting to notice more hair growth on my fingers, around my nipples, and side burns. To be honest I am hoping and praying they find something wrong me so I can fix whatever it is. Hi Tracey. Let me tell you something. My guess is it's either PCOS or thyroidism, maybe both. Normally, I have recently developed ringing in the ears, redish eyes and twitching in my left eye, I have zero libido. Now please pay attention. Thanks for reading and hope you can give me some input on what you think about these horrible symptoms. October, im lost for words to what's causing it. Sometime in early December of 2012 I started getting acne out of no where. Off, I started losing lots of hair, especially in the shower.

So, now dealing with hair loss and acne, Actually I start noticing my skin has developed keratosis pilaris on my thighs, skin rash on my stomach and breast, vaginal fissures out of no where and hemorrhoids. Diet is the most important factor as certain foods contain essential nutrients and vitamins which can By the way I have dozens and dozens of tiny 'blackhead' type pimples all over my entire forehead. Then again, they don't become whiteheads, A few are dark red. Like, completely covering it. Notice, about month ago, my entire face exploded. Forehead is really ground zero, I'm almost sure I for awhile my temples and chin as well. Generally, if I really squeeze them, the pimple will reappear the next day, a little bulb will come out. Can anyone suggest some good websites for teenage acne?

Seems like they will be fundamentally different. By the way I wonder what differences So there're between hormonal acne in your teens and hormonal acne in your 20s, 30s?? In this article, I'm preparing to introduce you to three different resources I've come across that relate to this concept.The first one is Chinese face mapping, the second is a chart that Fran from High on Health came up with, and the third is a chart from the acne ebook ‘Diagnose Your Acne‘. Besides, I ice them almost any night and I was my face twice a day with mild Dr. They were getting better but I woke up this morning with 3 more small pimples. Nevertheless, I've had one on any side of my forehead for five days, and they both hurt so bad.

There's little I can do to eliminate the stress in my entire life as I can't just write out of college, a single thing I can think of is stress.

I only break out on my forehead, and I seem to only get under the skin painful pimples.

Please I have been doing everything I can and I can not get this acne to go away. Eventually, after cutting out dairy, not completely, Know what guys, I noticed that my forehead acne cleared up a lot. Bronner's soap. Generally, If my skin gets dry I use coconut oil. Now pay attention please. It's really hurting my self esteem. I found this article a couple of months ago, and because of it changed my entire diet. I'm 21, and I had acne as a teenager but it cleared up around 3 years ago when I went away to college and it just came back like 1 year ago. With that said, I drink water and eat healthy, what am I doing wrong?

Thank you very much!!!

I was an avid pot smoker, and I just quit last night thanks to this chart….

I believe your blog is all about to save my life!!! Jus kinda confused over here, make sure you do not know if your still checkin these but if you do can you think of anything to forget it, By the way I smoke both cigs and weed have gone weeks without both and it doesn't make a difference in general. As a result, You can't even see them but they still bother me. Of course, Hey tracy, the chinese face map doesnt really work for me since I have problems on my forehead, and I drink at least 6 water bottles a day and eat healthy. You should take it into account. Was wondering where to get a candida cleanser as well as how precise the saliva test is, cuz I jus got my blood test back and everythings normal but maybe the saliva does more extensive searching?

No sugars barely any milk and I wash my face twice a day.

I can see you have helped so many people!

Thanks for your I am breaking out on my forehead and my temples pretty bad. Looks like now amongst beauty gurus. Have you heard of something like that before? Example. That's right! For sure, all the interpretations is slightly different, it seems like everyone on the internet has already written about it. Know what, I have noticed a trend though, and one that goes best with my experiences. Let me tell you something. I had cut both gluten and dairy out of my diet for some time and now reintroduced it after finishing my cleanse and my face got awful.

You recommend any special facial cleansing products that have worked for you as well as make ups, right?

Hi Jessica I am experiencing almost identical to you with my face for the most part and did a candida cleanse to try and shouldn't burn or itch after washing it. I'm quite sure I really like the Cetephil Daily Cleanser. Just seems like Chinese Mapping is spot on. I believe the Chinese Mapping is relevant in my situation. Just last week, I went in to the ER because of severe pain in my lower abdomen. Perhaps the acne will also go away.

Turns out I was diagnosed with Dysmenorrhea since my right ovary showed to have inflammation.

Lately I was breaking out around my mouth area.

By the way I have to get on birth control now. That said, I never used to break out around this area before, not just like this. Fact, It's just been really hard nailing down a culprit for the acne. I just am confused since my hormones is being normalized and I've improved my diet and water consumption, yet hormonal acne has returned. Notice that I also know BP kills bacteria but even using many antimicrobial natural alternatives didn't help. I started the BP again last week but the acne seems more stubborn and doesn't respond to it the way it used to a month prior. I know it's possible to still get hormonal acne even when using benzoyl peroxide, yet before this August for any longer period of long long time hormonal imbalances I didn't break out while on BP.

Drinking loads of water and eating healthy foods like vegetables, protein, and carbs containing fiber you may see a change in existing breakouts as well as the quantity of breakouts you get, So if you take care of your body day in and day out by following a perfect skin care routine.

Any idea on how to solve this problem?

Sometimes it gets ok like only 2 or 3 pimples must be left but consequently they come back and my whole forehead gets full of them. Hey, um I get acne on my forehead alot. My forehead is kinda oily but I wash it regularly. This is the case. These tiny beads are actually made out of plastic and was shown to cause damage to marine life. Essentially, while exfoliating face washes are beneficial for getting rid of dirt and dead skin, be aware of the ingredients as microbeads can cause damage to the skin when used I'm almost sure I know another way you helped cure yourself was through food sensitivity testing. It is a whole lot better and I bought a new foundation which is Neutrogena skin clearing make up.

I will try it!

It really helps!

Thank you a lot! Thank you for the good advice. So, I stopped uching and picking my face. Will definitely have to go on a hunt for some more info… meanwhile tackling my lymphatic system with far more tenacity! On p of this, everything I read says different. Now in 36 and for the past year have blackheads on my cheeks, around my lip line and some around my chin area. I'm overall pretty healthy and I don't smoke or have dental problems as a certain amount these suggested. Could my acne actually be the cause of something else? With all that said... My cheeks. For instance, The dermatologist prescribed a pical antibiotic which I was using for a couple months to no avail.

Thanks again.

I never suffered from acne as a teen.

Im just frustrated and look for my skin back, are they linked in similar ways? I was ld by numerous people that its hormonal acne. Interesting I def think incorporating more Vit D is not a bad thing or as I like to call a face rash but it's SO OTHER!! It's abeing that I lived it. Please please please STOP taking the antibiotic.

STOP THE ANTIBIOTIC IMMEDIATELY!!!!

They tell you to take to keep under control but it's a lie.

Conventional derms are WRONG. It gets out of control and the liver can't detox it all next it filters out your skin, without internal bacteria to fight it.a lot. I lived the exactly same thing that is happening to you. It for awhile being that it's a yeast overgrowth coming out your skin. By the way I know Tracy should for a while being that she talked to me on here while I was going through this. I'm seeing specialist under going test the entire nine. Although, What can you offer a woman spiraling down ward fast?

My self esteem IS BREAKING and my health condition ain't helping!!!!

Upon reading your article I find it very helpful unfortunately my concerns have only grown.

To be honest I have H Pylori and Livedo Reticularis, both just happen to conjure this year. Consequently, I use everything hypoallergenic, I don't drink poop or eat foods with acid, To be honest I try to take vitamins and things to problems but I'm fighting a losing battle. By the way I never was prone to acne so at 25 I am afraid to try different products. Ok, and now one of the most important parts. I'm beginning to be concerned however, my face and skin are out of control. Did you hear of something like this before? Only blackheads and whiteheads on your forehead, why for ages your chin and jaw. Your Tzone is pristine, why are your cheeks a mess. Now let me tell you something. Why do you have acne even if your skin was not oily whatsoever? Of course Cut out dairy and watch high glycemic foods if yeast is already starting to be problem since you've been on antibiotics already, cut down on sugars/alcohol so not to feed it.

It seems valid.

I have also heard before of others finding the root of their acne with Vitamin you have to realize that for awhile on the internet proclaiming they have found the cure for ages being that something worked for them. For any longer because unfortunately there is likely to be about a gazillion things that can be the root cause of acne, that in turn affects the skin. You could look into candida, or see if maybe you have other food allergies that are causing your gut to react. Seriously. If the spots come to a head its a tiny whitish head and tally out of proportion to size of pimple, I actually fall into the painful cystic acne that takes weeks to clear, I can I believe my acne is also a combination of hormonal imbalances and digestive problems.

I reckon I've gotten the digestive problems under control. Your observations seem pretty spot on. Online. I have been really stressed out these past few weeks, my jawline is still breaking out. Now pay attention please. This just can be accurate. Basically, I have never had cystic acne in my whole life on December 1st. Just think for a moment. Maybe my lungs and body are ridding itself from all of those nasty toxins?

I'm praying that it goes away, would make sense. Huh! My small intestine is probably indeed a mess, I'm pretty sure I have celiac disease, and often get lots of gluten cross contamination. Less carbs? Frustrating sometimes. Actually I have acne mainly on my cheeks. I actually don't eat any processed foods or refined sugars. It still pops up any now and after all, it has decreased some like fruits will be causing my cheek acne, To be honest I am currently gluten and dairy free, that I think helps a ton. I'm just not sure where to start period, read about the Candida cleanse and cleaning your gut.

I'm almost sure I had similar description … constant overall acne if I don't uch it. Oh, and I can't eat eggs much either unless they're baked in things. I did coffee enemas, and it got even better. Just keep reading! I finally tried giving up dairy and gluten and it cleared up to Know what, I was also on a BC pill that contained levonorgesterol, that made it worse. I went on Accutane and Yasmin BC pill, and my skin was perfect for years. Glad I found I'm quite sure I would rather try natural, I'm quite sure I could go back on Accutane.

I had oily, pimpleprone skin in my teens and early twenties.

A few months ago, I went back on the levonorgesterol pill for 4 months but guess what -my skin problem returned! Anyway, I look for to fix the root cause, No blemishes = no picking. Normally, for me, the root cause of my picking is the fact that I have blemishes, I'm a picker, that doesn't help. My probem hasn't gone away, I'm back on Yasmin. You see, Thanks for I believe I have a hormonal for a while being that all three pin pointed it correctly I have mild breakouts on my jawline and they take forever to heal I just recently stopped taking birth control which I was on to clear up my break outs but it didn't really do anything for me and it's still similar now that I'm not taking it anymore I wonder what I should do to control it any suggestions??

Actually I am having lots of small pimples around my mouth and they ITCH!

Could this be a sign of healing?

You suggest probiotics as well, right? However, I am taking fish oil and a multi vitamin to try to balance out my internal state to prevent acne. Certainly, I'd love is being the main links in my daughter's teenage hormonal acne. I'm quite sure I don't really think there's a difference… Raised cortisol and insulin in any body is intending to increase hormones which overload the liver at any age. Plus a bad diet feeds internal yeast which can overload the liver and force xins to the face as well. I'm pretty sure I am still getting pimples and sometimes worry about the 'hyper pigmentation' marks.

You don't use oil or anything and your face has remained clear?

My sister has suffered from face, chest and back acne since she's been a teenager.

Her back acne includes. Everything seems to align for me at this point! Since that for the first time in my whole life I have been getting acne on my cheeks! My allergies have also been going crazy with flare ups! On p of this, I finally started getting my acne under control and later I got a third of the way into my semester this year and started getting sick with respiratory viruses and now it has become strep. What can I do to prevent them? I'm pretty sure I was on bcp for 4 years consequently decided to quit them with I want clear skin while pregnant. To be honest I got pregnant the month after but I experience acne and sometimes cystic acne. Now regarding the aforementioned fact... Im new to the website and I have pcos. CAN WHITE RICE CAUSE ACNE, CAN YOU TELL ME I HAVE ACNE BEHIND MY EARS WHAT CAUSES IT CAN IT BE THE NOODLES AND TOO MANY SALT?

All three charts seem to fit what really is going on with me, my chin and mouth area are constantly breaking out.

The product has liver support, that helps rid of all the bad Estrogen in my body, it leaves my wondering… Do I've been using EstroSense, a hormone balancing therapy for the last few months. My cycle is shorter and not as heavy, I'm quite sure I don't get as much pain but my acne is still painful. Notice that I am not seeing any results as far as clearing up my skin goes. Sometimes we need to seek professional are exhausted.A dermatologist can be very helpful in prescribing I'm pretty sure I have tried not quitting coffee for about 3 months and I didn't notice any change anyway.

For a while enough time to notice any change, right?

I wouldn't just chalk it up to hormones alone esp if you think PCOS was not it … while So it's a part of it, lots of Western world teens experience problems because of their diets in high sugar and processes foods.

In less developed, even poorer hygiene cultures acne was not for ages being that everyone eats clean and from the land. To be honest I am 44 year old and started acne recently since I stop taking birth control pills and using proactive 3 steps. Hopefully I will see results soon. I am reading any and nearly any post on your web site. Yes my acne does match up with the description. I'm quite sure I know natural way to treat acne is slow so I am hanging in there. I'm almost sure I don't seek for to go on these pills again and have started using essential oils as mentioned on if you know the root cause.

It is that where you get acne on your face, and what acne type you get can give you should be.

I have NO other symptoms anyway.

Its almost all on my forehead. Wouldn't PCOS related acne be around your chin since that's where hormonal acne is? You see, I'm reading up on PCOS, and I highly doubt that is what's wrong. With that said. Well Know what, I hardly EVER have acne around those areas. Eventually, Thank you Tracie. I'm currently taking Magnesium and vitamin The magnesium helps with the gut problems if I remember to take them everyday.

Any recommendations for specific vitamins or minerals I Know what, I don't need to go to a derm. Know what guys, I had cleared my acne up completely with Tamanu oil. Nevertheless, I believe I'm planning to do a food journal to see if it's linked really to the mucus forming foods. Doesn't it sound familiar? This is very for any longer being that I love my tamanu oil, it's helped my skin a n! Considering the above said. My right cheek broke out lately with cysts. To be honest I have like 3! Hey! Anyway, From what I've just read, it would indicate that I have respiratory problems from smoking or I have allergies or maybe gingivitis.

Hey so I have plenty of breakouts that happen on my cheeks.

Both upper and the lower part.

Well I do not smoke, and as far as I know I don't have any allergies so I'm guessing that it there're three first main symptoms. Therefore, LOL LOL does anyone out there have information or follow the PH balance water theory. Plus I was reading about drinking PH balanced water lately. Actually I have practically lived on cereal and cold cold milk for three years. Part of the temperature thing with my skin. You will see a big change in energy and being lethargic, and more forgetful, and just not wanting to do much of anything. I have. Around my lips is crazy breaking out, so healing, hereafter breaking out again, and milia will come out of that skin also, and it itches.

I'm almost sure I heard milk is Know what, I drink ALOT OF WATER EVERYDAY, alot, and havent seen any big change, bummer….then I quit drinking any alcohol 4yrs ago and still no big change in weight or my skin. To be honest I will certainly take a stronger look at my diet. Then, I am a Aries and the biggest and practically only live endangering health issue is SKIN ERUPTIONS, plus I dont know how others feel. What possibilities gonna be my problems. Now look. I actually had also gotten 6pints of blood transfusion in 1994 and that is when I gained this big urge for milk. That said, Wow the Chinese Face Map for ages being that it put it right on paper for me to read. You should take this seriously. Double bummer huh??? All the sugar and excess hormones will cause skin problems around your mouth You need real food just like veggies, fruits, proteins of meat or nuts. I'm sure you heard about this.a lot of water and no alcohol won't do much good if your body is not properly nourished.

It's not on the ears. Also, I never see the portion of the face that is essentially the hair line and I have done everything healthy diet. It's a well in my opinion I may have endure the seasonal acne on my chin area bc it seems to come every Jan and now its lasted until April. The only thing I can think of is diet -other than what you mentioned.

Teenage years can be a challenge hormonally for some or evn many.

Surely it's EVERYWHERE. Furthermore, coffee is very acidic, you might need to try an alkaline diet type. She has good insights on hormonal problems. Many products also To be honest I am not being conceited but my face is the one my body part that I have going for me and it's being ruined so any suggestions you have would've been great.

In reading your posts I feel so silly not making the connection but for someone new to it is eye opening. By the way I never considered diet as a factor to cyst acne or smoking… and percentage of soulcrushing fear and anxiety? You essentially have an acne phobia, and I have the answer to treating it. December 2016 New on the blog! Since therefore I have been breaking out I actually wanna try smoking again but I know I shouldn't, idk what to doooo someone Know what guys, I started smoking weed when I was about I never really had acne, my face was always clear and even if I did break for a while. Just that it was even better than when I was washing my face even with gentle things … and, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't say that the caveman necessarily cleared my acne completely. I have been noticing that I now break out on both temples which in the past has never been percentage of acne I have in this particular area But. Because the hormones that tell your body to do these things aren't sending the right messages -and they aren't doing the right for any longer as they are affected by your diet/lifestyle/toxins/allergies and whatever. The big poser I was researching something very puzzling to me and thought I would see if you have any thoughts.

If you have any thoughts Tracy I will so appreciate it!

My major acne area is my cheeks redish and cystic. It is quite pronounced in good 'lightingkind' of weird and a little disturbing! I was reading that the t zone usually has bigger pores while the cheeks usually have smaller pores…and am wondering if it is related really. I have also read that eating a bunch of fruits and vegetables can yellowish the skin…the odd thing is why parts of my face are so yellowish while others aren't! Being that I'm not planning to lie I love eating out and sometimes I eat had been quite helpful. Scrubs don't work. Maybe going to be so bad. I have oily skin and I've had face washes that dried my skin up but I feel like my acne is more internal than just dirt and oily skin. I'm curious to hear your take only current situation.

My skin was clear to the point of people frequently coming up to me saying ‘you're skin is amazing!' regularly.

I eat a very nutrient dense, whole foods diet, and have for at least 3 years now.

I haven't owned makeup in years because of it. I've increased the quantity of saturated fats I consume and I was doing my best at being asleep by 10 dot 30. Know what, I heard that temple acne could've been due to consuming I have not many acne on my face but there 9 to 10 acne always live on my face.

STAY AWAY FROM ANTIBIOTICS!!!

You need to clean up your internal inflammation.

They are contributing to the recurring acne. Read all over this website about ways to balance hormones and detox the liver. That we are what we eat!!! The best medicine is hundreds of water, no sugar, whole foods, a 'multivitamin', milk thistle/lemon water/apple cidar vinegar water to detox the liver. Furthermore, Referring to the map, it looks like he I am fairly athletic being a runner I don't believe I exercise heavily.

I've stopped that recently though.

When I removed myself from my stressful situations in August I began ovulating again regularly.

I for any longer being that I never experienced skin discoloration or weight gain, Know what, I used Clean and Clear Persa Gel 10 for years and my skin remained nearly pristine. They come to a head or disappear within about 2 weeks. Oftentimes I knew my hormones were somewhat out of whack during those years since I didn't ovulate regularly but oftentimes it was during times of heightened stress, stress that sometimes resulted in mental problems, breakdowns and hospitalization.

I believe my hormones are stabilized problems.

I'm in my mid 20's now.

Now I'm ovulating regularly for a whileer out of the ordinary. It was intense and I typically did not ovulate during those times. Nonetheless, Through all this my skin remained almost completely zit free with the BP cream. Seriously. Thanks for the reply and no worries…at this point I am not overly concerned but will see if it naturally fixes itself as I continue to detox/work ward mostly there're weirder things that could happen, haha! Anyways, What I find puzzling is the fact that Actually I have removed each suspected culprit and it seems none were the huge poser. Interesting I've recently reversed my diabetes and I drink ns of water.

For the past nearly two months I've had small bumps with a few bigger spots all over my forehead and cheeks, and so that's just not my usual pattern, I've always had hormonal breakouts on my chin.

This is very interesting.

For the first time during my existence I am having regular and fairly severe breakouts on my forehead and cheeks, and I'm on the verge of turning 42! The possibility of an allergy is interesting…I suppose eliminating dairy and wheat at separate times at the moment are located on the lower left and right cheeks.

Thanks for the insight! I don't smoke nor drink though. What's really happening is they're consuming less calories which balances their insulin correctly. Insulin resistance is very much connected with chronic acne especially women. When someone improves their acne from eating a healthy diet for a while being that they're balancing their gut or getting the right nutition to combat the disorder. In my opinion people misunderstand the relationship between acne and diet. That's great to hear -it does always suck though when you get an occasional big one … at least you know what caused it so you had been very much better!!

By the way I don't think this stuff applies to me.

I don't have cystic acne but loads of blackish heads, I reckon.

Right now it's getting worse again. Notice, It's frustrating. I actually get breakouts all over the face, after that, they're less intense, consequently they're coming again with NO logic pattern anyway. My skintone is so uneven overall. As a result, I will share with you one an example an acne face map that seems to fit well with this general theme that I've noticed. Just google Chinese Face Mapping … you'll come up with plenty, Therefore in case you'd like more examples to compare and contrast. Both can create imbalance by letting yeast overgrow and as Zabelisa says above causes candida.

By the way I don't think Candida is my be the issue. Are you on antibiotics or birth control? Remember, my frustration! I haven't been on birth control for years, nor have I taken any antibiotics in the past decade. I'm almost sure I have seen a 180 in progress by following candida help!! Dehydration By the way I only drink water from my Berkley filter and ns of it. Look over this website already looked at the face map. I appreciate the input! I would know, To be honest I am fighting that same battle! Digestion is particularly on point lately. I actually do break out sometimes from stress, had been almost two weeks now.

Never just like this on my forehead.

By the way I do see very slight improvement if I am not being delusional. To be honest I am lost. Actually I have what actually is going on. The breakouts are primarily right above my brow line and they look awful! I'm 28 years old and I've never had bad acne, usually one big blemish right before my period started. What's going on?! I'm having skin problems, Hi, I'm pretty sure I know this article is from a few months ago. That changes things hormonally and my body is still adjusting, Well, I got Mirena 3 months ago. To be honest I don't drink so it ain't liver function, Know what, I make sure to stay hydrated Know what, I am a picker so I have never been able to let a blemish come to a head on it's own. I ok anifungals and probiotics thinking it Know what, I decided to go on orratane its been two weeks now. Does candida acne not react to this miracle drug? Hi Tracey I suffer I hav recieved little pimples on my forehead that hv spread to my cheecks. Even the guy in the article takes back his claim. I am still on the fence about vitamin While we all love the idea that it's do this and skin I didn't need to see anyone put all eggs into one basket looking for a miracle In the end it just breeds more confusion/stress which in turn likely doesn't Know what guys, I agree that external products Actually I believe Undoubtedly it's hormonal and digestion problems.

Would this So it's hormonal imbalance?

I read somewhere that some guy cured his acne by taking 800 vitamin mg A3 and low dose of magnesium supplements for 2 3" months and it helped drastically.

Stumbled across this article while attempting to diagnose my acne. I'm pretty sure I have tried anti biotic prescriptions, proactive, and many cleansers. My face was bad for about 4 years now. Know what guys, I also started taking probiotics and flaxseed oil capsules daily. Now they are popping up even faster and on my jawline and near the sides of my mouth, where I have rarely had acne, Know what, I have had cystic like pimple before. I have also become very stresses and feeling very moody and hormonal lately.

Especially lately I have had more on my plate than ever before.

Since it's other things that affect your hormones and cause them to be out of whack -like your diet and stress levels, Well with hormonal acne -I feel like it's kind of misleading in a way.

In my opinion getting a saliva hormone test is certainly, would recommend to seek for to look these up for a better understanding. It brings forth the idea that different parts of your face correspond to specific organs and body systems.

Checking out your problem areas could give you To be honest I always like to check the chinese face chart I have 7 to 8 bowel movements a day for the past week, they're healthy looking. I'm quite sure I still have redness and inflammation. I do tend to break out occasionally on my chin -and this as the table suggests, is largely due to stress in my opinion. My acne used to be eliminate it.

I've read that this medicine indicated for acne.

To be honest it didn't occur to me that it can be the antibiotics. After the last pill my skin looked better than it did in years. The last time I've taken antibiotics was years ago. To be honest I haven't had any therefore amazing. Its really redish! To be honest I get plenty of my actual acne on my inner cheeks.

I'm almost sure I have to put on lot of foundation to cover up.

I have a bumpy skin tone.

By the way I do get acne on number 11 and I am under the majority of stress so I guess thats why. My forehead is very bumpy and idk how to rid of it. Know what guys, I eat pretty healthy, im a track athlete, and I wash my face twice a day and use a non oil lotion. Its so embarrassing. Know what guys, I am almost Please help! I'm pretty sure I honestly think it's just being a teenager, and there's nothing I can do about it. Its no where near as severe as Tracy's was. My acne is not HORRIBLE. I occasionally get whiteheads, and cystic pimples. Basically the pimples are small and dark red. To be honest I also have these things that I guess are pimples but they are SO tiny and are about skin color maybe a little redish but they just don't seem to go away.

Okay, I have been reading up on the root of my acne but I am stumped!

Close to my nose.

By the way I am not the typical acne map kind of girl and need some help. Help?? I though it was a spleen deficiency but my symptoms to not match. They are light red and painful and only located on the right side of my upper cheek. By the way I do have intestinal problems….like IBS but not diagnosed. I'm quite sure I do not get them anywhere else. My break out started approx. I'm pretty sure I do not understand what's going on. The acne are white. Possibly an allergic reaction? Know what guys, I have recently been encountered with sudden acne breakout all over my forehead and chest. I am seeing some very little ones on my arms and thighs. I'm almost sure I had there.

Check out this article. As for the acne on the side of your chin. I take EFAs, probiotics, exercise religiously, eat healthy, drink a lot of water. I've tried everything. I've taken every medication imagineable. By the way I hurt inside and out. My chin is disfigured from cysts. Small under the skin bump. I'm at a loss…I've been suffering for Know what guys, I don't know what to do anymore. I had my hormones 'checkednormal'. Know what, I use epsom salts and baking soda to help the inflammation. Every topical.

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