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so-i-dont-forget-again · 4 years

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So I Don’t Forget Again: A Breath of The Wild fanfiction

Entry 62: Goron City

We left after watching the sunrise.

Yunobo was wierded out by how my skin became so wrinkly after being in the water for so long.

While hiking I asked him if he ever wanted to travel since he’s never left Death Mountain. He said that he would like to but was afraid if something were to happen and he couldn’t get help, and that with Hyrule being such a big place he’d have no idea where to start. I told him about the places I had been. He said it was incredible how I could describe them so vividly.

I asked him what he knew about Daruk. He didn’t know much more than me, mostly just the basics like he was a Champion and such.

Soon we came across a drawn-up bridge. The Bridge of Eldin. The boss has it raised up so no one can get too close to where the Divine Beast Rudania resides. Yunobo had this big grin when he explained how we could use a near by cannon to get it down by having him use Daruk’s Protection as ammunition. Just as before, I used the Sheikah bombs to set off the cannon, and we got the bridge down in no time.

As we made our way across the bridge Yunobo said that it’ll get dangerous so I’d better stay alert and on guard, if we get too close then Rudania will attack us.

My heart got caught in my throat as Rudania stopped moving, and many small flying Guardians like the ones by Akkala Tower came charging from the beast and surrounded a large area around it, including the only path there was leading to the cannon. Yunobo told me that if those things spotted us, the mountain will erupt and Rudania will thrash about. He told me that as a seasoned traveler and warrior he’d trust my judgement when it came to dealing with them. But with how surprising loud lava can be we came up with the idea of using a signal system, specifically whistling.

I know this is probably weird, but he just keeps reminding me more, and more of Friend… He even mentioned that whistling would be like calling a horse.

We hid under rocks, or even climbed around them. Most often I’d destroy them by using the metal power of the Sheikah Slate and bash any metal I could find into the flying Guardians and blow them up. If I could get to a higher advantage point I’d blow them up with bombs or push boulders on top of them. The techniques Yunobo showed me for Goron wrestling were quite handy in that instance.

When we reached a cannon, I shot Yunobo, sending him flying into Rudania, causing it to make that ear-splitting roar and scurry a little up the mountain. The higher we got the more Guardians there were and less and less places there were to hide, till there were none at all. After shooting Rudania with several different cannons it eventually made its way into the heart of the mountain. I immediately raced after it, with Yunobo asking where I thought I was going.

Before I could leap in after Rudania, Yubono grabbed me and asked what in the world I was thinking. When I said I planned on boarding the Divine Beast he said that even I would get killed, it was too dangerous. When I said it was the only way to stop its rampage for good, he asked me why risk my life for that when we could just keep using him to drive it off. He said that he couldn’t let me throw away my life. I started to explain what should happen to Hyrule if Rudania wasn’t stopped for good, but he interrupted me, stating he knew all that, but… “Aren’t you scared? Link, if you die in there nobody will know! Nobody can help you! Please, don’t do this! This isn’t being brave or a hero, this, I don’t know, it’s something else!” But he also admitted that this was probably my big chance to gain control of it. His hands which were gripped on my shoulders quaked as he spoke. Before I could answer the ground shook beneath us. Before I knew it the footing under me had collapsed. Yubono immediately jumped in after me, clutching me close, and Daruk’s protection surrounded both of us as we plummeted.

Yunobo panicked, realizing we were on the Divine Beast. The moment we entered the door behind us shut, and we were trapped in complete darkness. We held hands to not get separated. I used the fire rod I got long ago as a torch in the dark. I soon started hearing a voice which told me it was good to see me again, and he knew that I would come back, he pointed me towards where the guidance stone was, where I could get a map.

That black/purple gunk was everywhere and we took extra care to not touch the stuff. We even had to do battle in the dark, small guardians would shoot at us without warning. Thankfully Yunobo was quick on his feet when it comes to using Daruk’s protection.

When we found a terminal, we were able to gain control, and open the top so we could actually see. We even had to have Rudania crawl around, and flip to different sides to reach new terminals. Every time we reached one, I heard bombastic encouragement echo about in my mind.

Very soon all that was left was the control module on Rudania’s back, outside, unlike the large room in Vah Ruta. Even with the Goron armor on, in the heart of the mountain this heat was sweltering, my vision blurred.

Before placing the Sheikah Slate on the control panel I warned Yunobo that we were possibly about to get into a fight. He swiftly nodded. Then asked if I was alright. I was drenched in sweat, and my face red. I said that we had to finish this quick, then placed the slate on the panel.

After I did so, black and purple mist exploded from the device and morphed into a thing that should only be conjured in a nightmare. It wielded a giant ax and fire. The voice told me this is what killed Daruk.

I found difficulty in moving, and I could hardly see. Yunobo used himself as a shield for my sake. We managed to get some good damage on it before it flew high above us, setting it’s ax on fire, and surrounding it’s self in a ball of flame. It prepared an attack, somehow drawing lava and rocks to it, like a tornado. Yunobo threw himself at it, with Daruk’s protection active. When he made impact, it collapsed onto the ground. I threw my all into causing as much damage as I could. I even used Mipha’s Trident, and bombs. I used anything.

It screamed this awful screech before splitting apart and dissipating into nothing. Once it was over I placed the slate back on the panel. I heard a voice behind me, saying I did great work. I turned to see Daruk, his arms wide open for a hug. He said that he couldn’t thank me enough, he was finally freed. He then apologized for falling, but at least Radunia was back under our control. And now our plan to defeat Calamity Gannon can go into effect again. He said that he’d now take Radunia down the mountain to get a better place to shoot the Calamity. Then he said

He said that he was proud to call me Brother.

Next thing I knew I was being carried in Yunobo’s hands. A sigh of relief escaped him as he saw me awaken. He said the moment I placed the slate on the panel again I collapsed. Then Radunia began to move on its own. It perched itself at the edge of the mountain’s top, and a red laser shot from it, pointing it directly at the blackened castle. Once it was perched Yunobo got off and immediately ran for town to get me to a doctor.

Though he was a bit hesitant I told him I’d be fine as long as we rested in the hot springs for a while. When he saw how much better I looked only after a minute in the spring he stopped asking if I was sure I didn’t need a doctor. We didn’t stay for too long though.

When we got to town we were revered as heroes. Everyone insisted on calling me ‘brother’. Though I’m not a Goron, they say I have the heart and bravery of one of them, so I’m their brother.

As much as I would have liked to stay longer, I knew I couldn’t keep Friend here any longer. She deserves fresh food, but there was one thing I had to do before leaving. I was going to speak to Boss but then, not far in the distance I heard that marvelous voice and accordion. Kass was glad to see me. Now that Rudania had calmed he thought he should come here so he could write Daruk’s song. He told me of tales the Boss told him of Daruk’s strength and bravery. Kass chose to write his song showing a different side of that bold Goron. The song was of a time where he was brave fighting off monsters, but then an unexpected side and fear of his was shown. He was much more than the strong legend; he was a person with his own struggles.

I listened to his songs till morning. At that time, I finally met with Boss and asked what he knew of Daruk. I already knew of all the legends he told me, so he then gave me Daruk’s diary. It was found recently. He was surprised to find Daruk even kept one.

On the first page Daruk decided to call the diary a training journal instead. He often wrote about delicious food he had. He wrote about the build up to Calamity Gannon, and when the Divine Beasts were unburied. He wrote about how we first met. He saw me being attacked and was going to save me, but I saved myself. He said that he ‘couldn’t help but admire his Goron-like strength.’ As he was distracted by me, I saved him from being attacked which really impressed him. He also admired my appetite, I’d eat just about anything, I’d even tried his favorite rocks, I was apparently speechless. We even Goron wrestled often. He said he really liked me, ‘he’s the type of guy you can trust to have your back and also have a nice hearty meal with. Yeah! That settles it! From now on, Link is an official brother.’ My vision blurred after reading that. He often wrote about how proud he was of me. Even saying he wasn’t surprised at all that I was appointed as the princess’ guard. He thanked me for helping him learn how to control Radunia. In one of the last entries he wrote that I had told him I had opened up to the princess about my troubles, and how she said that we are the same.

I reread entry 50… I was raised to be an amazing knight, but they couldn’t make me not a person. I was troubled by this even back then, almost. That word, almost. I said it was almost true. My need to protect people that Sidon pointed out to me. Something a part of me that I hadn’t noticed till then, did I know it a hundred years ago?

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isaakbutler · 4 years

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In Which a District Manager is a Petty Ass.

Rant ahead. Feel free to skip.

TFW you and your team lead warned your district manager almost daily for two whole weeks prior to today (Oct. 27th) that your store is going to be wrecked because of a remodel and resets won’t be done on time and she still gets pressed about why they aren’t done. So she calls you in the middle of your second shift at a different store and starts grilling you about said resets even though you’ve already told her that they won’t all get done in the timeframe she expects. And then, hours later, when everyone is supposed to be off for the night, makes a work group chat message that puts you on blast without naming you specifically after being pissed off you can’t somehow change time and space to get resets done in a destroyed, mid remodel department in your store.

Like... I’m sorry the corporation that is this store entity decided that a Remodel, and an Optimization and Full Store Reset all needed to happen at the same time as our twice a year resets happen. It wasn’t my idea to be that stupid. No one asked me if that would work for me. I wasn’t bloody consulted.

I only have not slept right for almost a month because of back to back resets that all have to start at 5 AM some of which were two plus hours away, been told to go to every other store in the district to the detriment of my own store, at all hours of the day and night, Drive two plus hours away multiple times, not be allowed Health Insurance, not get hazard pay for working in a store that has had THREE Covid outbreaks in the last four months. I’ve only been in close quarters with people who refuse to cover their face and social distance every day but let me just not be a good enough employee because I can’t just make the store let me do stuff in a ruined department.

And because you all can’t provide consistent hours between resets. the month of reset work I’ve gotten will disqualify us from getting EBT benefits right when hours are going to bottom back out and be back down to ten to twelve hours a week because said corporation refuses to locate clients for us to have consistent work. And has refused to do so for over a year. So thanks for being a petty asshole, in a group chat, over things I can’t possibly control like resets and remodels.

No, I didn’t spend two hours in the last two days unburying my bin at this store so I could get my paltry amount of work done. No I didn’t almost tear a ligament trying to move a double stacked pallet of shit that doesn’t belong in my bin from my bin to try and do my job today. No not at all. No I didn’t go to bat for the soulless corporation I work for when the store manager wanted to start bitching about resets not being done even though it’s his damn fault we can’t get them done.

I guess I deserved that petty ass deliberately vague blast in a work group chat. I guess I’m still not doing enough for my job. I also need to be Dr. Strange, Sorcerer Supreme and stop time to get shit done.

No I have no control over when our signage box shows up either but go ahead and be mad about that too. Cause I have SO much control over the shipping of boxes from our home office.

I have legit done everything I can short of pulling magic out of my very soul to get things done for you. But go ahead and leave passive aggressive anonymous call out blasts in group work chats some more. Keep it up and you’ll lose a good employee who has never called in or laid out, has put important non work things on hold to go work in stores that have no people cause they’ve already been driven away, has worked for two years without health insurance or PTO or sick time. See what happens when you shit on people you lean on.

#Shitty Bosses #Petty Ass Boss #Lemme just pull the time stone out of my ass and stop time just for you

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clownsgobeepbeep · 5 years

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Hehe 💀

142.)Werewolves

Let’s meet somebody in the Reverse Vampire AU

“We have had a few offers here and there, quite high ones in fact.”

“Oh, really now? What’s the highest one you’ve been offered?”

Inside what was now technically an abandoned building, walked a pair of adults with a child following suit. This building was an aquarium that had gone out of business a while ago, the property now being on sale.

“Trust me, you don’t want to know, and I also am not able to tell you unfortunately due to the contract. However, just between you and me, I’ll say that this man doesn’t want to bring back the aquarium. He wants to discard of the animals as quickly as possible to then destroy everything. Build his own thing he says.”

“That’s so sad!”

The adults ceased their walking, turning around to face the child who ‘s expression matched what she had said.

“Where will all the animals go?”

“I...I’m not sure dear.” the man of the adults wasn’t sure how to respond, not wanting to further upset the little girl who then turned to her mother.

“Mommy, you’re going to save all of them, right?”

“Oh, Lily...” her mother held her breath, turning to the man who happened to be her former employer before the aquarium closed down. “I, I don’t-”

“Coraline.” the man placed a hand on her shoulder. “How about, you and I go into my old office? Your daughter can explore the aquarium while we have a quick chat.”

“Lily?” Coraline turned to the child who looked up at her, still with sad eyes. “Are you alright wandering around by yourself?”

“Of course mummy!” Lily gave an eager nod, then turning on her heel before dashing away as her mother called out to her.

“Make sure you don’t go too far nor too close to the open areas!”

“Yes mummy!” Lily called back, already far from her previous location as she ran past a plethora of entries leading to other hallways or exhibits. Her little feet eventually brought her to the large open area that was technically the entrance, more like what came after people were allowed into the aquarium.

Lily tapped a finger against her chin, debating which area she would explore. There were so many things to do yet so little time, even with the complete lack of guests since the only ones who ever came were the owner, interested buyers, and her mother who frequently took care of the animals.

“Sharks? Open Ocean? Otters? Hmm...”Lily continued tapping her chin, eyes squinted as she slowly spun in place while eyeing each of her options, shutting her eyes before spinning rapidly. Once Lily felt herself get dizzy, she lifted a wobbly hand to point, opening her eyes to see at what she had randomly chosen.

“Jellyfish!” Lily exclaimed, hurrying over to the exhibit entrance where she was met up with a darkness. Honestly, it kind of didn’t really seem like it considering how several lights were off and it was already night time.

The child made it inside, her eyes growing wide and practically twinkling as she now admired the pretty lights inside the huge room. Several of them came from the tanks, Lily noticing this as she approached a large cylinder-shaped one, containing moon jellyfish that all seemed to change colors due to the lights.

Green eyes specifically landed on a large jellyfish, all of them glowing green in the moment, but this particular one seemed to have to more of a hue. Lily’s eyes were kept on it, watching as it floated down, ever so slowly, and without a single care. However, as the jellyfish reached near the bottom of the tank before eventually floating back up, Lily’s eyes landed on something that stood on the opposite side. This something was a figure, one who noticed her, soon rushing away into the darkness.

“Hey, wait!” Lily watched as they left, then tapping her chin, asking whether or not she should go and follow whoever this was. After a minute or so, Lily nodded before she ran off and exited the jellyfish exhibit, coming into the light at the entrance before she heard something fall over on the ground. This caught Lily’s attention before she whipped her head around, spotting a flash of black before she followed it.

“Wait up!”

Lily saw as the figure dashed away into another one of the rooms, one labeled as Open Ocean. Hm, she hoped she didn’t fall into one of the mini oceans inside, but she knew her way around obviously. So, she ran inside and looked around, hearing footsteps to her right where she then headed to.

Glancing around, Lily found nothing, so she stood in place to listen once again, eventually hearing even the quietest of footsteps. She turned around, noticing that something moved in the darkness, two glowing orbs that she knew did not belong to any of the fish.

“Hey...I won’t hurt you. I pinky promise.” Lily gave a kind smile, stepping towards the darkness as the footsteps she heard signaled that the person was backing away from her. Lily however, didn’t care, or at least she didn’t seem to worry while hoping that whoever or whatever this was didn’t fear her.

“My name is Lilian, but you can call me Lily.” she softly spoke, seeing as the figure continued to step back until coming into the light they didn’t know was behind them due to a skylight. Lily then stopped walking, her expression turning into a confused one as black came into view, black hair, or fur actually.

“Whoa...you’re a...you’re a...” Lily breathed out, seeing as the figure now identified as a werewolf, still backed away. She noticed that it was rather small to all the other ones she had encountered or seen from afar, and it didn’t seem to be very threatening actually. In fact, it looked almost...scared.

“I won’t hurt you.” Lily repeated, taking a single step which made the werewolf immediately turn and jump away, not having realized that right behind was an open pond, thus causing them to jump right inside.

Lily gave a gasp, especially as she heard the werewolf give loud whines while splashing around which made Lily run towards the pond. She reached inside the pond which wasn’t as shallow as the others due to originally having contained stingrays. She eventually caught onto the werewolf’s limbs, attempting to pull it out of the water, though it proved difficult as it moved around so much in a panic.

“Stop moving! Let me help!” she exclaimed, eventually helping the werewolf out as it fell to the ground completely soaked. However, since it was no longer under the moonlight and instead in the darkness, Lily noticed that all the fur had gone to its head as human hair belonging to a boy who shivered on the ground while curled up.

Lily noticed he wasn’t wearing anything but a bandana around his neck, prompting her to shut her eyes and even cover them with her hands.on’t l-leave me

“You’re naked!” she exclaimed again, hearing as the boy gave loud breaths. “But, are you okay?”

“N-n-n-no....” he replied. “C-c-c-cold...”

“Right! Um, stay here! I will go to the shop and get you some stuff...like towels and clothes!” Lily announced, moving her free hand around as she attempted to maneuver herself through the area.

“W-wait.” came the boy’s voice, making Lily stop walking to listen to him. “Don’t...people....s-see me.”

“Don’t worry about that, um...what’s your name?” Lily turned around, uncovering her eyes to take a peek at the pale boy who was still trembling on the ground, and he unburied his face to look up at her. Lily noticed a lovely pair of blue eyes, making her feel somewhat funny in her belly.

“C-cold!”

“Right! Sorry!” Lily turned red, then turning to run away out of the exhibit.

______________

“So, what were you doing inside the aquarium all alone?”

Lily now sat beside the boy, both sitting on a bench that was in the darkness of the building. The boy still shivered, clutching on tightly to the towel wrapped around him. Beneath that, he wore souvenir clothes that Lily luckily found somewhere around, though they were pretty big on him.

“No...nobody’s here...I like to be a-alone.” he gave a soft shrug, water still dripping from his hair as he gave a sneeze. “I don’t like wa-wa-wa-water....”

“Then why the aquarium?”

“Nobody...expects, me...here.”

“Oh.” Lily gave a nod, then taking a peek at the boy’s face before he turned to look down at her. He was no doubt taller and something about him...something made Lily give a happy sigh as her belly felt funny and her cheeks warm, all in a nice way.

“What...what is it?”

“Nothing.” Lily fluttered her eyelashes, the boy noticing this as well as the fact that Lily was now leaning close to him which made him give a weird look.“What’s your name?”

“Name?”

“Uh huh.”

“Sch-Schrader...”

“Schrader?” Lily tilted her head before the boy gave a nod. “I like that name.”

“Lily!” came a voice, startling both of the kids, especially the boy. “Lily! Where’d you go?”

“I’ll be right back, it’s my mother.” Lily told Schrader, hopping off the bench before running off to eventually find Coraline.

“Lily! Where did you go?”

“To the ocean.” Lily giggled, then taking her mother’s hand. “I have to show you somebody I met!”

“Met? Was somebody else here?”

“Uh huh!” Lily dragged her mother through the aquarium, leading her back to the bench she had been sitting on a while ago to see...nothing but a towel. “Wait...”

“So, where’s this somebody?”

“He was right there!” Lily pointed before running over to the bench, noticing that there were still wet spots. However, she heard a caw, making her and Coraline turn to the side as a crow now flew down until landing on top of the towel.

“How’d that get in here?” Coraline furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, Lily turning to her with equal confusion in her features. “Is this your friend you were talking about?”

Lily glanced at the crow who gave another caw, its legs shifting before Lily gave a soft nod.

“Well, it’s very nice to meet you, little crow.”Coraline waved at the crow who surprisingly cawed in response. “Anyways, Lily, guess what?”

Lily took a glimpse of mother who flasher her fangs in an excited grin.

“My offer was accepted! The aquarium is ours now!” Coraline squealed before hugging Lily who hugged her back, no doubt just as excited as her mother. However, Lily was also quite...sad, if that was even the correct word to describe it. Her eyes glanced around, never noticing the blue eyes that peeked from behind a wall, their owner too scared to come into the light again.

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drunklander · 7 years

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Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 303

Ok so I was out of town this weekend and rather than word-vomiting nonsense into evernote as I watched the episode like I usually do, I happy-flailed, rage-flailed, made incoherent noises while pointing at my phone, somehow managed to get myself buried in the pillows I was leaning on, chose to not unbury myself and eventually just kept dramatically flopping and throwing the blanket over my head because it was 2:30 in the morning and I was in a special kind of ridiculous mood that comes from running around a warehouse for two hours at the best version of Macbeth ever. (Third time going and it’s still one of my favorite things.)

Anywho...

I think this episode is my favorite so far this season? But like, I still have the same general feelings about it that I had after the first two? I liked Jamie’s side better because it didn’t make me rage. Claire’s side was just about Frank’s #manpain, because of course it was. Last week her side didn’t make me rage and was actually about her so of course now we’re back to #manpain. And obviously I have rage about it. It felt less rushed than the last two, but like I almost wish they cut back on the Claire and Frank stuff to give the Ardsmuir stuff a bit more time? Which isn’t to say that I think Claire is less important than Jamie or in any less pain than him or is any less broken or empty (I don’t feel that way *at all*), I just keep thinking that since they decided to literally just make her side of things about Frank and not explore her becoming a surgeon or her with Bree, that it could have be told in a more concise way since Jamie’s side of things has more plot points to hit along the way? I don’t know... Whatever, at least Frank’s dead now and went out as the steaming pile of shit he’s always been.

The word version of my dramatic flopping is under the cut...

Scotland

I like the walk and talk with LJG. Sets up everything without feeling like an exposition dump. Ok a little like an exposition dump, but I still like it.

Slash I like how we know Lord John remembers exactly who Jamie is and what he did just by him losing his cool for a second with “I’ll not dine with that--”. No further explanation necessary or given.

MURTAGH!!! Guys I’m still fucking ecstatic that they decided to save Murtagh. Like thank you, show. I know I shit on you on the reg, but holy shit thank you for saving Murtagh.

I can’t wait to see their reunion. I’m guessing since we didn’t get it here, we’ll maybe get it when Claire comes back and Jamie’s telling her that Murtagh survived? Like I’m guessing that scene and the Ellen’s tower scene and Claire doing surgery will be in ep. 306 when they’re telling each other what they’ve been through? Since Matt wrote this one and that one?

The first time watching this I was like ok he’s coughing. He can’t be coughing. Because coughing means he’s gonna die and he can’t have been saved just to die. But I love how it plays out.

And I *love* that it’s Murtagh’s bit of plaid. I love that he’s the one who is holding on to the old ways and to the memory of Claire and wants to talk about her. It’s a nice contrast to Jamie who has yet to say Claire’s name because it’s all he can do to hold himself together and talking about her and the baby with others would make him lose it completely. Like he clearly thinks about her all the time and uses what she taught him, but he never says her name because at this point that’s still too much.

I’m also really glad they cut the bit where the plaid was found and Jamie gets flogged again. We’ve seen him flogged enough times that we really don’t need to go back to that yet again. And I feel like with the small tweak to the stuff with Lord John, it wasn’t needed. I like that they just let the plaid be a small symbol that despite the English’s best efforts, the Highland culture hasn’t been entirely snuffed out.

Jamie using what Claire taught him to care for Murtagh and the men makes me feel all the feelings. He can’t say her name, but dammit he loves and misses her so much and has so much respect for her skills as a healer and *assumes fetal position*.

I giggle every time Lord John is referred to as John William Grey. Like they gotta keep including that middle name since they forgot his first name last year. (I know, I need to stop picking on that. But it was dumb and will never stop being dumb.)

I love the small expression on Lord John’s face when he finds out the men eat the rats. Like they’re prisoners but that’s an indignity too far? Reminded me of how Hal insisted that the men be propped up to be shot in ep. 301.

Lord John’s line about how heavy Jamie’s irons must feel give me preemptive sads for just how heavy they are and will remain for Jamie. Because he feels their weight for years after they’re struck off.

Jamie putting pride aside and asking for blankets for Murtagh specifically (not just asking as the leader of all the men) makes me want to hug him and tell him it’ll be ok. (Also, are we just ditching the Fraser part of Murtagh’s name? Because he’s just Murtagh Fitzgibbons twice in this episode? *shrug*) And the look on Lord John’s face there. Like he knows that it’s costing Jamie to expose a point of vulnerability here with this request for Murtagh and he can appreciate just how much Jamie must care for his kinsman since he’s willing to ask.

The look that comes over Jamie’s face while their theme plays as he thinks there’s a glimmer of hope that he can find Claire again murders me. In the best way possible.

“There’s nothing you can do that hasn’t already been done to me. So, try if you must.” Excuse me while I get a bit emotional.

Jamie’s hesitation before telling Murtagh that Kerr mentioned a white witch makes me feel things to the point where I almost forget that all the white witch stuff makes me roll my eyes, but they’re committed to it so whatever. Like telling Murtagh about it is a step beyond just hoping. It’s admitting out loud to that hope. And that’s a vulnerable place to be in, like it makes the hope a bit more real.

Murtagh talking about Claire and the baby and how he thinks of her and wanting to talk to Jamie about it is so sweet and I just love Murtagh so much and I’m so glad he’s not dead.

Seriously though, Jamie’s respect for Claire’s healing and dietary advice throughout this episode kills me with feelings. Frank uses her doctor title to try to hurt her while they fight. Jamie is just filled with respect for his wife’s skill.

Also, I love Jamie using his wine knowledge. Like the dude has suffered so damn much, I’m glad he got a little grin out of still being able to identify what wine it was.

And omg him telling the men about the food plays so much better in the show than it did in the book.

I giggled about the little hiding spot bit, but I really do love that the men respect him enough and are loyal enough that they go along with his plan instead of feeling like he’s abandoning them and rat him out.

And I do like the parallel of Jamie sneaking up on Lord John, but him calling him William Grey again and then reciting his birth order and father’s title really just rubs in again how silly it was to not just go with the name last year that he’s going to use for the rest of the series. (I’m letting this go now, I swear. Until the next time. Because apparently this is the hill I’m willing to die on.)

The flashbacks are a bit much though. Like we eventually see pretty much that entire scene from last year and I really don’t think it was necessary. But like, whatever, it’s not something I’m like ragey about. Just like, I feel like that time could have been better spent...

And yeah, since we didn’t see Jamie at the tower in this episode, I’m guessing we’re going to get it when he’s telling Claire about it. Which I’m here for. Like let us see the emotional part of it when we can then see Claire reacting to Jamie’s emotions. Give me that in my eyeballs please and thank you.

Although I feel like the scene of him asking to be killed as the second part of Lord John’s promise would work a little better if we did get a little more of his despair. Like his last shred of hope of finding Claire again was just dashed and that’s what’s prompting this. But I feel like there’s a little something missing that might have made it land better? Whatever, I still get the point I guess?

Also, this is the second time that someone has promised to kill Jamie and reneged on that promise. First BJR and now LJG...

“She’s truly gone.” JUST WAIT ANOTHER FEW EPISODES, BUDDY! YOU CAN DO IT! IT’LL BE OK!

Thanks, Lord John, for the rando doctor because it would really suck if Murtagh was saved just to die in prison! (Guys I am seriously beyond fucking pumped that Murtagh got saved. THINK OF HIM MEETING BREE! THINK OF HIM GETTING REUNITED WITH CLAIRE! THINK OF ALL THE AWESOMENESS THAT COMES FROM MURTAGH STILL BEING AROUND! I LOVE SHOW!MURTAGH SO MUCH!)

I like that much like Jamie hasn’t been able to say Claire’s name up until this point, Lord John doesn’t say Hector’s.

“Some people you grieve over forever.” I’m hoping I like show!LJG better than book!LJG, but I do like that he can probably appreciate what Jamie is feeling better than most people.

“I think perhaps the greatest burden lies in caring for those we cannot help. Not in having no one for whom to care. That is emptiness. But no great burden.” No comment on this one, just glad that was included because I like it a lot.

Gah but with that whole exchange. Jamie knows that Lord John might be able to understand the depth of his loss and says Claire’s name for the first time and I have feelings.

I wish the moment wasn’t broken up by a flashback, but I do like the back and forth with Jamie telling Lord John that the woman was his wife.

But ugh, Lord John. Nope. Don’t do that. Don’t touch him like that. I know you just bonded but not like to the point where you’d think this was ok. And even if you were feeling things, you definitely wouldn’t do this. Like not just because you’re used to hiding that part of yourself, but because you’re an honorable soldier and the power dynamic here is not ok. You’re not equals and as much as you guys just got real with each other, I don’t think you’d forget that.

And I 100% think that Jamie’s reaction here is strictly PTSD from his rape. Book!Jamie definitely had some homophobic tendencies, but in this scene I really think it’s just his trauma coming back to him. Like his face. Omfg there is zero doubt that he will kill Lord John right there, consequences be damned, if LJG doesn’t move his hand.

I really hope they tone down Lord John’s constantly reminding everyone that he’s in love with Jamie. It’s why I can’t really be on board with him in the books. But if they make some small changes, I can definitely be on board with him in the show.

I like that Murtagh was revealed to be alive now rather than waiting until like the end of the season once he’d been transported. (Because we all thought that if he got to live, he’d end up transported, right? I feel like that was a thing most people were guessing.) Like now we don’t need to have to care about prison randos and we [hopefully] get to see Jamie finding out he’s alive when Jamie tells Claire he’s alive, and then another reunion when [I’m guessing] they find him again in the colonies.

Lord John apologizing for touching Jamie in the prison makes me really hopeful that I’m going to like him in the show. Like I *love* that they had him apologize. They’ve done such a good job adapting the secondary characters that I think it’s not too much to hope that I’ll end up liking him more than book!LJG. But yeah, great change, show. Well done.

Lord John giving Jamie the best life he can because he wants to discharge the debt for his own name, and not because he’s like in love with Jamie or whatever, makes me happy.

(For real, can they just be friends without the gay guy in love with his straight BFF trope? And just let them have a friendship based on mutual respect and shit? Please?)

Boston

Not a fan of the dog as the title card. Like I get that it’s a reference to the book where Bree had a dog, but the dog is in like half a shot in the show so it’s just random to use that instead of something that’s actually related to what they’re exploring in the episode? I mean, who cares, it’s a title card. But it’s still an odd choice.

Oh look! Frank’s in the kitchen! The woman’s place! *eye roll* Except nope it’s not because he’s a nice guy and is cooking breakfast to be helpful. No. Of course not. Because this is Frank and Frank is an asshole. His breakfasts obviously have an ulterior motive. Like seriously, Frank. Bree’s growing up in the U.S. She’s going to like fucking Eggos. Eggos are fucking great. Just ask Eleven. But no. Claire likes America and wanted to become a citizen as something for herself and now Bree’s an American so clearly that needs to be remedied. Let the girl eat the damn frozen waffles, Frank, and stop trying to force *everyone* to be the version of themselves that *you* want them to be.

Look at Claire being all pleasant and conversational. Look at Claire being friendly and making casual, platonic plans. Look at Claire knowing that they’ve decided to live separate lives but still being civil and personable and friendly because they live together. And now look at Frank being a steaming pile of trash. She’s not asking you to go on some romantic date or to pretend like you’re in a regular marriage, you rancid trash fire. She’s literally seeing if you want to go to the movies. And you need to go and make it uncomfortable because clearly seeing a movie twice is just absurd and casually being like thanks for the offer, but I think I have to pass on this one would be the nice thing to do, but you can’t help making Claire feel like shit at every possible opportunity. Like seriously, making Claire feel like she did something wrong there, like somehow with this innocuous invitation she’s breaching the agreement you have, is just a dick move. You’re a terrible person, Frank.

“Nothing a cold martini won’t cure.” I want to be friends with Joe. Joe is great. I love Joe. I wish we had more with Claire and Joe because dammit, Claire needs someone in her life who isn’t trying to make her feel like shit every time they interact.

Oh hey! It’s Frank’s girlfriend! Time to go on a ramble. I’m glad that they had Claire be like yeah, it’s cool to live separate lives. Because Claire knows she’s never going to be what Frank wants her to be. And Frank makes damn sure that she can never forget that. Because Frank is an asshole. Like Claire should have left, promise to Jamie or no promise. It’s stupid and really not believable to me that she stuck around. Your mileage may vary. But she stayed and says it’s cool for Frank to go and lead his life. There’s a line in Drums where Claire is thinking of why she never called Frank out on his affairs: “I could not; I had no right.” She knows that she can’t be what he wants her to be. She knows she’s emotionally unfaithful. The affairs in the book hurt her, she’s only human, but she believes that she really can’t call him out. So I like that here, instead of it being like they’re actually still pretending to be in a functioning marriage, she gives Frank that freedom. Because Claire is imperfect, but still a good person.

And then there’s Frank. And Frank is a vindictive jackass. There’s living your own life and having a girlfriend and whatever, and then there’s inviting your girlfriend to your house on the day of your wife’s graduation party. And then when she shows up, *inviting her in* while your wife wrangles all the guests and has everyone leave. Because Claire went to med school and became a surgeon so of course even that has to be about Frank and how much of a piece of shit he is. Claire can’t possibly have one moment to celebrate her achievements. Nope. That’d be too much to ask. Gotta throw some Frank bullshit in.

“You invited her here. Where our daughter lives.” Claire’s first thought isn’t of how Frank fucked up her day here. Which she’d be totally entitled to do. No, Claire’s first thought is about Bree. Because her priority is to make sure Bree has a loving environment. Even if it means staying in an absolutely shitty situation. (You seriously should have left, Claire...) She does it for Bree. And Frank fucking brought his girlfriend over and threatened the illusion for Bree. Honestly, Claire’s the one here who looks like a good fucking parent. You’re a rancid glob of old cheese that’s stinking up the fridge, Frank.

“You were taking the car, she was just picking me up.” Right, Frank. Sure. You want brownie points for being discreet while also inviting your girlfriend to pick you up from your house where a graduation party is being held. I don’t care if you thought the dinner reservation was at a different time. If you’re actually looking to be discreet, you don’t have your girlfriend come to your damn house.

“You really dislike me that much?” Yes, Claire. He fucking resents you. He’s a shit sandwich. He resents you for not being what he wants you to be even though you’ve been honest about where you were about things from the start, and instead of leaving he sticks around and makes you feel terrible about yourself because he’s a petty, selfish, pathetic excuse of a man.

“Do you honest think that anyone at Harvard believes that we’re happily married?” No no no. Noooope. No, Frank. You don’t get to pull some whataboutism bullshit here. It’s not Claire’s fucking job to convince your Harvard people that you’re happily married. That’s not part of the fucking conditions. She said she wouldn’t talk about the past and that you could raise Bree to think you were her father. She’s doing that. Beyond that she owes you jack shit. Like you’re making it seem like she actually went to your work shit over the last few years, which would be doing you a fucking favor she didn’t have to. Because you’re living separate lives now, remember? It was Claire’s idea. That goes both ways. You get your girlfriend and she doesn’t have to pretend like she’s in love with you. And jfc the fact that you don’t see a difference between not “acting happy enough” at a work thing and FUCKING BRINGING YOUR GIRLFRIEND TO YOUR WIFE’S GRADUATION PARTY makes me want to punch you more than I already do. You really are the world’s biggest douchenozzle, Frank. I can’t wait for you to die. *checks time left in episode*

Having Claire call whatever her name is a harlot is not a good look for Claire. But like I said before and like what’s in the books, Claire’s human and Frank hurt her by bringing the girlfriend around. I can understand why she’d hit back like this. And it parallels Frank reducing what she had with Jamie to just fucking. Except what Frank and this lady have is def not the same as what Jamie and Claire have, because I honestly think Frank is incapable of loving and accepting a woman as his equal.

“Green ain’t your color, Claire.” Yeah, but like deep down she’s not jealous? Like on the surface, maybe, she’s human, but she doesn’t want you? She’s pissed that you were a complete twatwaffle and is hitting back. Because she’s fucking human and we all do shit like this when we’re pissed. You’re still the bad guy here, asshole.

“You wanted to hurt me.” “Maybe I did.” Yeah, no shit you did, Frank. That’s the only fucking reason you’re still around. To fucking hurt Claire. Because you’re so fucking selfish and petty that once you finally wrapped your fucking head around the fact that she’s never going to love you the way you want her to, you fucking stuck around to make her life miserable. You are the worst kind of cruel.

“Maybe I wanted to give you a taste of your own medicine.” Ok but you knew what you were getting into, Fred. Claire has been honest from the start. And she’s clearly been trying to make things as ok for you as she can. (Seriously, Claire, you should have fucking left.) She’s literally living up to her end of your deal while letting you do whatever the fuck you like with whoever the fuck you like. It’s your own damn fault you decided to stay. You lose all right to be this shitty. You can leave and you should leave but it’s your own selfish pettiness that makes you stay just so you can make this woman’s life miserable.

And the loathing in his voice when he says “Dr. Randall.” Like it *kills* him that despite his best efforts to destroy this woman, she managed to achieve her own damn goals. How anyone can think this fuckwad is a good guy is beyond me. (Like you do you, keep thinking whatever you want to think. Each to their own. Yada yada yada. But I will *never* understand it.)

“Have you fucked her in our bedroom?” I honestly don’t think Claire’s upset here about if the fucking actually happened, I think she’s just realizing just how vindictive Frank is that this is something he’d probably do just to spite her.

“File for divorce. You’d have your freedom.” “Yes, I would.” Like yeah, Claire should have left, but she didn’t. Because she promised Jamie and then because she’s a good person who didn’t want to take Bree away from Frank. But I love that she’s turning the tables on Frank now. And being like yeah, you know what. You can leave too. It’s clearly the best move. But Frank’s like nope. And I don’t believe for a second that it’s because he thinks Claire will keep Bree from him. Claire wouldn’t do that. She knows that Bree loves Frank, and Claire isn’t a piece of shit. She’s flawed, but she’s not a terrible person in the way that Frank is a terrible person. Claire would never take Bree from Frank and Frank knows it. He’s literally only staying so he can keep having his cake and eating it too. He can have his girlfriend and still torment Claire at every available opportunity.

“Forgive me, Claire, if I don’t risk everything on your promises. You have not been very good at keeping them.” Uh, buddy? Slow your roll. Yes, she fell in love with another guy when her whole life was turned upside down. That hurt you. I get that. But shit happens and most people can move on without being this much of puddle of raw sewage. And since she’s been back, she’s been exceptional at keeping her fucking promises. She accepted your damn conditions and she has kept them to the letter. Even at the cost of her relationship with her and Jamie’s daughter. So you, sir, can go fuck yourself.

Frank contradicting Claire over Bree’s birthday wish is such a perfect little window into how much of a manipulative, terrible person he is. It’s not enough that he gets to raise Bree as his own like he demanded. No, not for good ol’ Franky boy. Nope. He needs to undermine Claire. He needs to be the good guy who might give Bree a car when Claire says no. He needs to subtly (and probably consistently) make himself seem like the one who truly cares about Bree. He needs to carefully do stuff like this the whole time Bree is growing up so she notices that Claire is a bit distant. That’s not being a good parent. That’s being a terrible parent. Frank really needs to die already. *checks time left in episode*

Omg Claire’s face when she tells Bree she’s proud of her at graduation. Like Claire so obviously loves her daughter. And I honestly think that if Frank wasn’t undercutting her at every turn, she could have managed to have a better relationship with Bree. Like there was always going to be some distance, but I’m thinking Bree might not have noticed as much if Frank wasn’t like always making himself out to be the Good Guy parent?

“I’d like to take Brianna to England. I want a divorce, Claire.” You really are the most selfish prick, Frank. Like Bree’s going to go off to college regardless so this is Frank’s last chance to use her as a weapon to hurt Claire.

And jfc, “We’ll get married as soon as I’m free. I’m finished with this, Claire.” Seriously, Frank. You could have left years ago. You *should* have left years ago. You don’t get to be fucking butthurt here. Claire didn’t fuck with you. *You* refused to accept reality. She tried her fucking best for all these years. Now that you’re *finally* accepting how things are, you don’t get any fucking sympathy. You don’t get to play the fucking victim. You have spent fucking decades making Claire’s life as miserable as possible. You are not a good person. You are fucking scum.

Claire realizing that he’s only stuck around to fuck with her is kind of heartbreaking. Like she had things so much worse because she never was given the space to grieve, and just kept everything bottled up and it was all for a guy who just wanted to hurt her.

“Be reasonable, Claire.” HOW CAN ANYONE POSSIBLY FUCKING THINK THIS GUY IS ANYTHING BUT A FLAMING SACK OF SHIT?! BE REASONABLE?! SHE’S BEEN FUCKING REASONABLE FOR ALMOST 20 YEARS. SHE’S DONE EVERYTHING YOU’VE FUCKING ASKED AT THE EXPENSE OF WHAT *SHE* NEEDED. SHE COULDN’T GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANTED SO SHE GAVE YOU WHAT SHE COULD. AND YOU WERE NOTHING BUT TERRIBLE TO HER IN RETURN.

Yeah, they took out him being racist af, but show!Frank is just as fucking terrible as book!Frank. Can you please just fucking die already. *checks time left in episode*

“I would like to live the rest of my life with a wife who truly loves me.” EXCEPT THAT CLEARLY YOU’D RATHER TORMENT CLAIRE THAN ACTUALLY DO THAT YOU PATHETIC, PETTY WASTE OF OXYGEN. YOU COULD HAVE MARRIED YOUR FUCKING GIRLFRIEND YEARS AGO. YOU KNEW YOU COULD STILL BE IN BREE’S LIFE. BUT YOU CHOSE NOT TO BECAUSE YOU’RE SO FUCKING SHITTY YOU WOULD RATHER STICK AROUND JUST TO HURT CLAIRE. YOU DO NOT DESERVE A HAPPY ENDING, FRANK. YOU DESERVE A MORE VIOLENT DEATH THAN YOU GOT.

“You couldn’t look at Brianna without seeing him. Could you? Without that constant reminder.” NO SHIT, FRANK. BUT NO, YOU COULD NEVER SEE HOW MUCH CLAIRE WAS HURTING. OR HOW MUCH YOUR FUCKING CONDITIONS WERE RUINING THE RELATIONSHIP SHE COULD HAVE HAD WITH HER DAUGHTER. BECAUSE OF COURSE SHE WAS FUCKING REMINDED OF JAMIE. SO OF COURSE IT HURT HER TO NOT BE ABLE TO SHARE JAMIE WITH BREE. AND OF COURSE SHE FUCKING HAD TO WATCH HERSELF AROUND BREE CONSTANTLY SO THAT SHE DIDN’T SLIP UP. EVEN WITHOUT YOUR UNDERCUTTING HER AS A PARENT, IT WAS ALREADY YOUR FAULT THAT SHE WASN’T AS CLOSE TO BREE AS SHE COULD HAVE BEEN.

CLAIRE YOU SHOULD HAVE FUCKING JUST LEFT. I KNOW YOU PROMISED BUT FFS JAMIE WOULDN’T HAVE WANTED YOUR DAUGHTER TO LOSE YOU AS WELL AS HIM. UGH I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS. LIKE IT’S SO WELL ACTED BUT I STILL WANT TO THROW SOMETHING.

“Might you have forgotten him, with time?” “That amount of time doesn’t exist.” Yup. Boom. And yet she still fucking tried, Frank. She still gave it everything she fucking had. She didn’t even get to grieve. She fucking bottled everything up and fucking put on a brave face and fucking gave it her all. And you were too selfish and petty to fucking see or appreciate just how hard she was fucking trying. You are literally the worst.

I’m usually ok with changing stuff from being verbatim from the books (with a few exceptions...), but in the scene with Claire and Frank’s body, I kind of miss the finality of the “once” at the end of the line? “I did love you. Once.” But yeah, he was her first love. And that does mean something. But not enough of something for me to not be annoyed that 2/3 of her side of the story thus far has been about him.

I think I find this side of things so annoying and rage-inducing because none of it feels like it earned the right to happen. The choice, to me, for Claire was never Jamie vs. Frank. It was Jamie vs. the entire 20th century. That was the hard choice. The Jamie vs. Frank choice was easy. Frank wasn’t right for her before she left. She chose not to go back to him. And having her stay in a loveless marriage with a manipulative asshole for 20 years is far less interesting to me than watching her try to get along by herself with Bree might have been. But “she made a promise to Jamie” yada yada, and we’re stuck with Frank. Who stopped being relevant ages ago. I know, “jfc, get over it, this is how it is, stfu,” so consider standard disclaimers about this being just my opinion and other’s being able to have theirs and yada yada applied. I hope assume most people who find this take the most annoying have already unfollowed/blocked/blacklisted me. But holy shit I’m glad this asshole is finally dead, and I really hope the Claire and Bree stuff in the next couple episodes is amazing because that’s what I’m here for. End rant.

#*#drunj!der yells about outlander #outlander starz #outlander 3x03

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thecoroutfitters · 5 years

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Written by R. Ann Parris on The Prepper Journal.

If you have a squash bug (SB) or squash vine borer (SVB) problem, it can be a big problem. Some areas have even greater trouble due to increased season length and mild winters.

Despite SB’s greater versatility, I hate SVB even more. It’s utterly devastating, and requires much more attention ahead of time, because once the plant wilts, it’s pretty much too late.

Even if you’re not growing yet and don’t have any problems, push through this one anyway, just in case. You’ll need the fixes and preventatives on hand ahead of time.

Recognize the Enemy

SVB is a moth larvae that chews into and then up through vines of susceptible cucurbits. The plant suddenly wilts, then dies. It limits its destruction to cucurbits and doesn’t usually bother thin-stemmed melons or thin-stemmed gourds.

The SB is a beetle, and spawns freakish little spidery babies that go through green and gray stages. In addition to munching all kinds of plants, they spread disease. There are similar-looking pests with very similar control and prevention difficulties.

The eggs are the best identifier ahead of time. SB lay tight, regular patterns. SVB lay fewer, more irregularly.

SVB usually lay on stems, as close to the base of the plant as possible, but I’ve found them upwards of 1’ above the ground and some trailing up under leaves.

SB wants to lay on the underside of leaves, but I’ve found those diamond clusters on stems, too.

Check other plants, too – It’s not as frequent, but SB will lay on beans, peppers, sunflowers, okra, etc. SB adults will be found anywhere, too.

Conventional Traps, Spray & Powder

In their early stages, SB is somewhat vulnerable to Sevin spray. Powder isn’t super effective and it doesn’t bother the eggs. If SVB larvae aren’t crawling across it as they hatch, it doesn’t bother them, either. Spray can be more effective on more of the life-cycle stages, but it’s “more” – it’s not total wipe-out.

Some find neem oil effective, particularly in the early life stages.

All of them have to catch the bugs to be effective. SB are active enough to evade that spray by leaping away. SVB are inside, so you have to fill those stems to catch them.

Big Ag may be able to blanket enough dust and spray to do so, but most home growers even with a tow-behind disburser are going to struggle to blanket a big enough area fast enough.

!!! – Pesticides aren’t super effective on SB and SVB, but they are wicked effective against pretty much every single beneficial bug in our gardens, from worms and fireflies and their slug-hunting larvae, to pretty much every single pollinator, bees to butterflies to hoverflies and wasps, and can even affect the gut microbiology of hummingbirds and bats. – !!!

Traps work well, but require specific attractants and have to be replaced or rejuvenated.

Conventional Prevention’s

Squash vine borers can pop up after years of not growing squashes anywhere within 200-500 yards. Squash bugs are the same, with an added problem: They like squash. They don’t need it.

That means crop rotations aren’t super effective in breaking this particular pest cycle.

The smaller our spaces, the less effective it becomes.

The mobility of the moths and adaptability of the beetles means that for most home-consumption and small-plot growers with less than an acre (‘bout a football field) per crop butting into another half- or full acre of clean, bare earth, the advice to keep a “clean” garden and avoid mulches doesn’t actually help much.

Without that space, there are too many other options for them: tree and shrub windbreaks, perennial crops and ornamentals, wood piles, overgrown ditches and fence lines, woods, lawns and pastures, straw and hay piles, gaps under sheds.

Weigh that against the values of mulches before going the bare-earth road.

Unfortunately, control once they’re established is difficult, too. Enough to make you fantasize about spraying gas and lighting a match.

Tried & True: Squish ‘Em

Good luck catching the moth. (If you find something that doesn’t affect good bugs, please share.)

To help lower the load for the beetle, carry a jar to the garden to flick them into, and a board you can squash them against.

That board is handy for collecting SB’s – so is cardboard. Lay a chunk near the plants, flip it, stomp.

Tried & True: Pluck Eggs

Attentively checking stems and leaves for little red eggs is the most effective way to control damage.

You can scrape with a butter knife or thumbnail, or try wrapping good, sticky duct tape or packing tape around hands or fingers. You’ll have to press pretty firmly.

I do not just let the eggs fall to the surface under the belief stuff will eat them there (maybe, but maybe not). Nor do I deliver them to birds (some may escape). They get carted to the trash – the trash. In a world without trash, seal them in jars/pails.

Tried & True: Stick Juveniles

I like tape for snagging itty-bitty, speedy SB babies, although you have to really stick them or they can wiggle free.

There’s also the theory of stabbing the SVB by sticking pins/toothpicks in the stems and base of squash either as a preventative or as soon as frass is visible. It has merit, especially if a plant is months into growing but isn’t anywhere near harvest, particularly in a situation where we need this food.

Squashes develop really wide bases, though, and may have more than one larvae, so make sure you’re thoroughly stabbing to kill. They can easily crawl out and chew in elsewhere otherwise.

Foil – Fail

I have tried full-sheet widths of foil in a ring around squashes from the time they pop up. I have interwoven strips around as much of the base of the vines as possible.

The foil at the base in a wide collar akin to brassica collars might be helping, but it’s limited. I have no luck with other materials, either.

Again, I see SVB eggs way up on stems, not only at the base – mama lays on whatever’s exposed, and babies adapt.

Conditionally: Sacrificial Hubbard

Yes, SB-SVB do like Hubbard. I have ringed lots with it, with 20-yard gaps to the nearest other squash, and thrown it in right beside the other cucurbits. Sometimes it’s the only victim or the damage elsewhere is limited, but it’s at best 50-50 and it does nothing to lower the pest loads.

In Big Ag, the Hubbard goes out early and farmers kill the bugs on it to lower pest loads for direct-seeded cash crop squash.

Otherwise, once they’ve killed the Hubbards, SB/SVB have plenty of time to leap over to other cucurbits and kill them, too.

Yellow Traps – Fail

This is where you hang something fairly smooth and happy yellow (cups, frisbees, painted canning lids, yogurt tubs), lightly coat it in something semi-sticky or clogging (kitchen and garden oils, thinned-down glues), and hang it so that itty-bitty munchers get snagged and stuck or coated and suffocate. Wipe, re-coat, repeat.

I have never actually seen hoverflies, fireflies, brown wasps, or striped and fuzzy bees attached, no big butterflies or moths, just the teeny-tiny stuff, so it’s not really hurting. However, I’ve only nabbed juvenile SB on versions stuck down into the dense sections of foliage or laid out in a ring under foliage, and it’s few and far between and mostly a waste of time and resources.

(Again, it can take significant pressure to snag those SB babies – you need a serious level of sticky, and for them to willingly crawl onto it to get stuck, or to fall/jump onto it; they’re not flying or leaping to it on purpose like white-fly.)

Cup Collars – Fail

These guys are effective against some types of pests for other types of crops, just like foil and cardboard collars, but, again, SB lays mostly on leaves and is not restricted to cucurbits – it just likes them – and SVB will lay well up on the mature stem, with the wormy larvae crawling down as far as possible to enter but in no way restricted to entry right at the base of squash.

In the time when the plants are small enough to fit in the cups, their vines aren’t actually vulnerable to borer larvae, still too skinny.

Too, those cups only reach a couple inches up. Any SVB that come by later are going to have nice, exposed stems and leaves protruding to lay on, with their young readily able to slide down and chew in.

Squash are big plants with wide bases and sprawling vines by type – you only contain them in a cup for a little while. Then, there are months of season left for SVB to lay on exposed, viable vines.

So… once again, while effective against some pests, it’s a waste of time and resources for SVB/SB.

Semi-Helpful: Bury Nodes

There’s the belief that once the adventitious root nodes of longer vines is buried, the adult SVB moth doesn’t know it’s there, and won’t lay her eggs there to burrow in. The idea that she can find a seed-started stem but not a buried node… I don’t know how that even gains traction.

Plus, again, she’ll lay way up on stems. Where they are doesn’t matter.

However, there is a benefit: It creates another feed point for the plant.

If you can kill the larvae in the original stretch(es), active nodes can keep the plant alive long enough to mature any fruits further down the vine.

Tried & True: Row Covers

They work, but there’s some issues that come up, because you have to seal the edges.

SB require really sealing the edges. They’ll crawl under any loose sections. It’s a definite time and resource suck to bury-unbury-rebury every time we need access.

Mesh is my choice control for the consistent SVB problems all over my area, though. They’re not quite as small and tough, so it doesn’t require sealing to the same degree. (I wouldn’t bother if we only had SB.)

Second Hitch: Pollinators can’t get in. That means hand pollinating more than seed stock. It’s also totally devastating for squash bees, so plant some melons for them.

Combatting SB/SVB

It takes some attention and it can be laborious, but we can mitigate SB/SVB infestations. There aren’t many critters that prey on SB/SVB, so it’s all on us. Since the most effective methods require time and in some cases materials, we have to make some preparations so we can act immediately when they show up.

Be Safe out there and be sure to check out The Prepper Journal Store and follow The Prepper Journal on Facebook!

The post Survival Gardening: Squash Bugs and Borers appeared first on The Prepper Journal.

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