#i wanna talk about it so so soooooooo fucking badly

[zecoritheweirdone]

me when i think about vagabonds by scorpionoesit for too long

#zecori rambles #my art #realized that this is my blog and i can post whatever the hell i want here. you all have to suffer L /lh #idk if i've talked about this fic; like. a Lot here. but know i am so so so normal about it #(i am vibrating in place as i say that) #i wanna talk about it so so soooooooo fucking badly #i need to ramble to someone about this fic #i also feel the need to make more art for it #unfortunately a good portion of the characters don't actually have mentioned designs; and i am. bad at making them myself sknddknsks #mainly the outfits; the outfits is what trips me up #this goes double for superhero/villain outfits. and guess what fic is a superhero/villain fic;;; sksnwksjks #i'm also bad with poses. tried drawing that one scene where tommy finds masquerade on his couch and. it is Not Good. #shoving it in a closet and never speaking of it again. #(didn't know. how to draw karl on the couch 😔. tried looking up the pose he was mentioned to be in; but uhhh– #–let's just say there were no good reference pics;; fkdjksjs) #anyway. holding this fic so gently. it lives in my mind rent free #mx. scorpio if you're reading this. o/. #you know; next time i get motivation to draw; i should make digital art of v!michael. haven't done that yet;; dkdjsksj #or i could also continue drawing vagabonds dragons designs like i did yesterday;;; skdjskjsksjs

[eggmeralda]

I hate having romantic feelings this is horrendous I wanna go back to being fully aromantic

#i'm soooooooo buried within the abyss rn i'm gonna go watch the great escape again as a distraction and then project all my issues onto ocs #how do you already have a thing with someone new when you've literally just gotten out of a toxic relationship #i will never understand the allos #i kind of never wanna talk to him again bc this cycle is just gonna keep happening like i can never be normal about him #god as much as i had a crisis about being aromantic and it took me like 4 years to accept it and i was so depressed about it #i much prefer that to whatever this is #but yeah so i never wanna see him again but also it's the best friendship I've ever had so idk what to do #he has no idea about any of this as well so like. idek #allo people i'm so sorry you have to deal with this #ramble #wait this was worded badly but context is he's just gotten out of a bad relationship and now already seems to have a thing with #this other girl #NO i can't even rewatch the great escape bc i'd have to put it on my letterboxd and the whole reason i use letterboxd is bc he introduced #me to it 2 years ago #fuck #WAIT FUCK i have a gig with him on wednesday. why can i not escape him i wish i'd never met him

[love-toxin]

guh......climbing out of my hole of uni final papers for a moment.....bc i have to talk abt mike some more.....specifically dad(dy) mike-

(cws: fnaf movie spoilers, breeding, me being nasty right on schedule)

like....i can't get over it. he just strikes me as such dad material. he gives me the vibes of exhausted + mentally worn out + don't need another kid to run after but as soon as he's, like, free from the horrors and/or financially stable? he'd just be like "........so honey when are we having a baby??" right out of the blue. i get the feeling that he'd normally be a big family guy (hence the family photos everywhere and the.....intense childhood nostalgia) and he'd probably be all over starting his own if he wasn't dealing with all the death and murder and kidnapping and dream hopping and blah blah blah.

but anyways. baby. thinkin he wants one soooooooo badly.........and he'd be so stupid protective like a big, husband-shaped guard dog. we saw him in the fountain scene nobody can tell me he wouldn't go apeshit over protecting his little babus and their ultra hot momma--plus, at some point when Abby grows up he'd probably get such awful empty nest syndrome he'd be biting his nails not having someone to provide for and protect. that's his purpose! he's gotta be the strong one that gets shit done, hence knocking up some pretty thing that's got those pretty doe eyes and pretty hair and other pretty features for his kids to inherit.

i don't think it would hit him right away either, he'd think he's fine until he's blowin your back out and it hits him like ".....oh. shit," when he realizes how much he doesn't wanna pull out. not just because it feels good to bust a load so thick you leak all over the pillows, but because you might end up with a baby bump and that would be even cuter. you wouldn't even be able to trap him if you wanted to cause he wouldn't care about the contraception anyways--if you want to risk it, he'll risk it, and you might not expect how deep he goes as he tries to knock you up on the first try. you're not even half as crazy as he is, draining his balls inside you like it's an olympic sport just so he can make you take a test in two weeks. even if he can't afford it he'll take time off work just to keep you in bed for a couple days, give it a real good try so he can say he put everything he has into it. it's a good excuse for him to fall asleep still nestled inside you too, his weight pressing you down so you can't get up with all that cum slowly leaking down your legs. trying for a baby is so much fun and so intoxicating mike probably won't even realize how much work it'll really be until you start showing, but by then it's kinda too late anyways and it's not like he'd wanna go back and change it. seriously, he's so fucking lucky to even talk to you, much less be the father of your children and possibly your future husband.

but then he's got something so sweet and adorable to protect besides you on the horizon, something he can cuddle and kiss and rock to sleep and read bedtime stories to like he's loved doing with abby and always did with garrett, including all the silly voices he's made up to make them giggle and plead for just a few more pages. he can be even better than his parents and he'll finally have the second chance he's been dying for--and this time, nothing is gonna take what he loves away from him. nothing.

#mike schmidt #mike schmidt x reader #yes im feral and tired and i should be writing my thesis but mike has me in a chokehold rn #spicy writing #fnaf mike #fnaf movie #ellie thirsts

[helcria]

Body of Years

Summary:

Sayato and his mother Ui have an unlikely reunion during the war.

----------------------------------------------------------

“Stupid Itachi, stupid Sasuke, but the worst of them all is stupid fucking idiot Kabuto pushing me away like this!” A wounded Sayato complained, panting from exhaustion and practically shaking. Kabuto had healed him up somewhat from that nasty fight he had against both Yuno and Haine, but it wasn't nearly enough for him to be in any shape to fight at the moment, and Kabuto was up against some admittedly formidable foes- being Sasuke and Itachi Uchiha. Sayato's face was still red and blotchy from crying earlier during his messy mental breakdown during his own aforementioned skirmish against a sibling duo, mirroring Kabuto’s current struggle. But Sayato hadn't even bothered putting up a fight against Haine, being too upset with himself for hurting Yuno as badly as he did.

“I should go back, fuck what Kabuto said otherwise.” Sayato started walking back towards the cave. “'If you fought in your current state, you'd practically be going on a suicide mission' BIG DEAL! Maybe I WANT to fucking die! He acts like he knows soooooooo much better than me!” Sayato put on a mocking tone trying to imitate Kabuto's voice (poorly) and shoving off Kabuto's concern for him.

“Sayato?” A woman's voice shouted from a distance. “Sayato! Don't run away this time!” It was Ui Mochizuki- Sayato's mother, who had unfortunately been brought back via the Edo Tensei. She was still too far off to hear Sayato's self-loathing (and well, everyone-else-loathing too technically) dialogue, but she could still spot her baby boy from practically a mile away. He wanted to run again. He wasn't ready to face her after everything he had been through, a stark contrast from years before when he had literally kidnapped a kid just for the chance to talk with her again. And yet, here he was, not running. Might as well torch any possible positive image she had of her boy, he thought. A terse “Mom…” Was all he could manage to muster up in response to seeing her again, and stopped in place so she could catch up to him.

She ran up and immediately hugged Sayato. “I missed you so so much… I know that snake-y guy told me to stay away from you but I couldn't help myself, I just wanted to see my boy.” She pulled away from him, finally getting a look at Sayato's face. “Have you been crying?” “Have you been crying?”She asked, immediately wanting to soothe him. Sure, he's very much a grown man now, but that doesn't matter to a mother. He is and always will be her baby boy.

“Earlier. It's a long and messy story. I'm sorry I'm not in the most presentable state to actually get to see you again after all these years mom…” Sayato mustered up an apology, trying to avoid delving into his trainwreck of a life.

“You don't need to apologize, just stay with me and don't run off again, okay? I don't care how you look but I've missed out on over a decade's worth of events in your life and while I'm here I really don't want to miss out on anymore.” Sayato nodded in response to her.

“So, now that I know you're not gonna take off again, do you wanna tell your mom what's been troubling you?”

“I fucked up big time, mom.” Sayato said. “In fact, it's all I practically know how to do. My LIFE has been nothing but trouble, one disaster after the next.” Usually, he hates the idea of being anywhere near this vulnerable to anyone else, but with his mom, it was different.

“Elaborate on that one for me? Are we talking fuck ups like 'I left the pasta in the oven for too long'? Or are we more on terms of like, 'oops, I made some classmates fail the chunin exam because we mixed up our Earth and Heaven scrolls and they weren't able to get the one they needed in time and I feel super guilty about it' level fuck up?” Ui said, being a little too overtly specific on the latter scenario.

“Well… to start things off, I murdered the other two kids in squad when I was young. So maybe just a little bit more serious than either of your scenarios.”

Ui frowned. “Did you have a reason for that…?”

“Some Kiri-nin were gonna kill me, I made a lucky guess they were part of that Bloody Mist stuff and suggested the idea of killing them to try and buy some time for them to escape but things didn't turn out exactly as planned. Those kids were awful to me, and yet I still feel guilty over their murders- but not enough to have told anyone else the truth besides a friend who disappeared on some revenge quest to kill them. She succeeded, but still hasn't come back home after. Not even my boyfrie- I mean, Kabuto, that snake asshole you mentioned earlier, knows the truth. I assume he thinks I outright cold-blooded murdered them, but he knows better than to bring it up with me. Do you still love your murderer of a son?”

The redhead needed a second to absorb all the information Sayato was telling her and then answered his question, posing a question of her own in turn. “Depends. Do you still love your murderer of a mother?”

“Murderer of a mother?”

“Well, I killed an old rival of mine in this war. And I can't say I feel particularly bad about it.”

“Yeah, but you're under the control of a jutsu! You don't have a choice regardless!”… Sayato said, still not realizing Ui's point.

“And you were coerced into yours, soooo… I'd say if your crime makes you bad, then we can just be an evil mother/son duo!” Ui said in a chipper tone, which was oddly jarring given the context of the conversation, but nonetheless it felt like a little bit of weight off Sayato’s shoulders. “Anything else you need to get off your chest?”

“Maybe a little too much, mom. But I don't wanna go on about my life. Don't need to spill all those dirty secrets. There's a lot I wanna ask you. Things I never got the chance to and won't get to again.”

“I'll answer whatever you throw at me. Unless it's something super weird.”

“How did you and dad get together?”

“Well…” Ui began in, elaborating on the intricate lore between her and Shohei's eventual union and all the other juicy bits that went along with it like her rivalry with her recently deceased foe, Meguri, or all the hassle they went through thanks to Sayato's grandpa Kohaku. Sayato gained a better understanding of his mom through everything and can see how much like her he was.

“Is there anything you regret?” Sayato asked her after hearing the tale. “Anything that you'd want to do over again?”

“My biggest regret is not being around longer for you. That's the one thing more than anything else I wish I could fix. I wanted to prove a point that, what, I could contribute to some military force? That I wasn't just another kunoichi-to-housewife statistic and could keep up a career and childrearing simultaneously?”

“I admired that about you though, mom. Your shinobi career might have felt pointless, but the spite you had to keep going when others doubted you is something I wanted to emulate so badly.”

“You really do take after me, don't you? Well, try not to emulate me too much. You’ve already been through so much in this war, try not to get into any more fights unless it’s something you strongly believe in, okay? For me?” Ui playfully ruffled Sayato’s hair before noticing something was off. Her cracked, broken skin was starting to fade away. “Huh…”

“…The Edo Tensei. It got undone… So they haven't killed Kabuto yet.” Sayato felt a bit of relief, even if it was drowning otherwise in a sea of uncertainty. “Mom, I’m sorry I couldn’t have gotten over myself sooner and spent more time with you. I don’t want you to go yet!” Sayato was then promptly pulled into a hug with his mother once more.

“It’s okay, I understand it was hard for you to see me again. The fact I got this much time with you was more than I could’ve asked for. No matter what happens next, just know I’m behind you no matter what you end up doing. You’ve been through so much, and deserved better, and I’m proud of you for thriving through it all regardless. I love you Sayato, always and forever.”

“I love you too mom…” And just like that, Ui’s form vanished and she was gone from the land of the living once again. Sayato sniffled and wiped the tears from his eyes, making his way back to the miserable cave, with God knows what awaiting his arrival there.

The sight he saw was not a pretty one though. Itachi was gone, predictably, but there was Sasuke, Jugo, Suigetsu, Anko still passed out on the ground, Kabuto, standing upright but his eyes were closed and… Orochimaru?!

“What the fuck is going on here?” Sayato asked. “Why is HE here? What happened to Kabuto?” Going from losing his mom, to not knowing what’s up with Kabuto, to having to see his manipulative ex again as well, but he was resolved not to have another embarrassing breakdown like he did earlier.

“Aw jeez… Looks like we’re gonna have to catch Kabuto’s little boyfriend up on everything, huh?” Suigetsu said, before Jugo cut in to explain the situation thus far to Sayato.

“Well, you guys go ahead and do whatever you’ve got to do. I’m not tagging along for this one. I’ll be here until Kabuto comes to. Whenever that is.”

“Whatever.” Sasuke shrugged him off, as if in a manner of ‘you weren’t really invited in the first place’ before heading out of the cave. Jugo and Suigetsu followed behind, with Orochimaru sauntering towards him as if to say something before following the others too.

“Whatever it is you’re going to say, I don’t wanna hear it. You’ve done enough damage to everyone here.” Sayato said, glaring at Orochimaru. “By the way, I hope you know that when we were together, I was sleeping with Kabuto too.”

Orochimaru smirked at Sayato’s comments towards him. “My, your feelings have changed from the last time we’ve properly gotten to see each other, haven’t they?”

“Drop dead.”

“Congratulations on your new-found spine, are you going to use that on Kabuto when he comes to or are you going to roll over and fall victim to his manipulations again like you did mine and repeat the patterns you’ve been through before once more?”

“I said I didn’t want to hear anything you said!” Sayato threw a kunai in Orochimaru’s direction, but he dodged it.

“Stop antagonizing him, I thought you were supposed to be coming with us.” Sasuke stepped in to break off the fighting.

“My apologies, Sasuke.” Orochimaru said, everyone in the cave knowing damn well that sorry was the last thing the snake was.

The group soon left after that, leaving just Sayato to himself (at least, as the only conscious person within the cave), to wait there until Kabuto had broken out of the Izanami.

#sayato #ui #fic #i am too embarrassed to post this on main #good thing i have this side blog lol

[sanstropfremir]

If you could have muse for your art from the idols, who are 5 people in men and women you would choos and why

ANON!!!! oh man ok. lemme put my thinking brain in.

ok let's talk some basic logistics. muse implies using the idol themselves as inspiration, which is not something i normally do in my personal practice but i will gladly indulge for this thought experiment. the way that makes the most sense for me to approach this like brainstorming concepts/projects that i would like to use these particular idols for, if i had infinite money/opportunity yadda yadda.

ok ok ok. let's go:

taemin - this one was probably a no brainer, but i have a theoretical taemin comeback that i'd love to be the creative director for and it lives rent free in my brain all day every day. as for why; i think he'd be a really interesting collaborator and he's very versatile as a performer no matter what people have said about his acting (final life was a bad script ok, it wasn't all him!). we have very similar ideas and interests and i think it would be fun.

woodz - i would kill to work on a comeback with him because same reasons as taemin, he's smart and talented and has a very clear confidence in performing and i want to push that as far as it can go. but really what i want to do is shoot and style like a dozen different magazine spreads of him. so badly. he models so well.

hongjoong - please refer to this post that is sort of a joke but also absolutely not a joke one day i am going to direct this kid in a play and then you will all SEE

ten - baby you are WASTED as a boy group member. his skill in contemporary and urban choreo are rare for an idol and he's already got the theatricality; i wanna do a series of installation performances with him about identity + presentation because i think he could really deliver on how he shows conflict and that slippage between performer and person and audience. also he speaks what? four languages? more great material.

san - i think he has soooooooo much potential and he's worked so hard to improve since debut and i want to throw him in more stuff that pushes his limits since he's also interested in acting. see in aforementioned hongjoong post that i'm casting him as guildenstern in rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead, but also yea i'm gonna shoot like a dozen magazine spreads of him too. including one that's an unrealistic glamourization of college house parties in the mid 2010s. just because.

sunmi - also a no brainer, she's smart and beautiful and has a very good understanding and depth of theme in her work. would absolutely die to shoot an mv styled like that 17th/18th century revival that happened in the 80s; i'm talking draughtsman's contract/dangerous liaisons/amadeus but reintroduce some 80s aesthetics into it. we're gonna use some stuff from the thom browne ready to wear spring 2020 collection and it's gonna be insane. i can think about theme later. i'll come up with something.

cl - the alpha performance video bit me in the fucking ass. she and her stylist were on something for most of those mvs for that ep and i want to push the pseudo art deco thing they gestured vaguely at even further. i love that she understands fashion and how to actually use it (see her appearance at the met gala) and i wanna get in there and play. doesn't have to be a whole comeback specifically but at least a performance video for sure.

sunye - not ashamed to admit this choice is mostly because she is SO beautiful, but i really want to blow her hair out to full farrah fawcett and shoot a summer 70s themed magazine spread. she's got the face and the presence and i think it would be really cute to put her in some british mod/twiggy type mini jumpsuits and have her zip around on a penny board at the beach.

hyolyn - i loved her coming of age ceremony stage with junsu and this hit me like a bolt from the blue and it doesn't have much more justification than 'she's got a bigass cross tattooed on her abs' but i would LOVE do to some borderline blasphemous catholic inspired styling. or just use her for an incarnation for one of my passion projects about christian iconography.

boa - please queen i would do anything for you just ask. blank cheque no questions.

#also please note that i would also write a blank check to work with key #key is actually at the top of my list for 'people i would like to work with at some point in my life' but i wouldn't classify him as a muse #i just think it would be a really fun experience and we have very similar ideas etc etc but i dont have like. a specific idea in mind yanno #basically my reasons for a lot of these are either 'i see potential' or 'theyre smart + their work says that they have similar ideas as me' #there's also some groups i would love to design a comeback for but i don't necessarily have any standout ideas: #oneus + onewe. purple kiss #red velvet. shinee. a.c.e #tbh i would do any solo cb for a shinee member who am i kidding #kpop questions #i dont know if everyone knows but i am actually a photographer also. that's why there's a lot of magazine spreads here #general design questions #text #answers #anon this is such a good ask thank you SO much #im not gonna tag all these idols there's too many

[ramblingshit]

Persuasion 1995

The incoherent rambling commentary of a 3am viewing.

we start in a boat -- wait have i done this one before -- who cares CIARAN HINDS BBYYYY. I have sheep too just in my front yard ya know. that's just how it be. here's some boats - i can see where they pasted the fake boats in teh background i love it .calm nice piano music. dude is cutting the lawn people out here with top hats and wigs. oh dear everyone pissy SHOW ME THE MONEYYYY. lots of wigs and coats and here's a lady in a turban she's definitely the worldy kind. sailors n shit sitting drinking wine and smoking. oh god who's this. i can't hear the dialogue over my laptop fan. this ol mate's a fop i hate his voice. oh dear he's supposed to be a moron huh. oh whoops the fop is a baronet and he is poorr lol sucked in he got debtss extreme debts you musssttt retreennnnnchh. the neighbours be tryna help out and hereeee is Anne eyy. wow eatin grapes and sorbet and they're goin to Bath. he hates sailors and now he has to be ol mate's tenant. ohh Anne knows about the admiral and this fop keeps talking nonsense. a lady with no children has the best furniture. WENTWORTH she gasps. and she is dramatic and sad, puts her tea down takes a breath by the window and comes back takes up her tea and sits down damn. aww Ann---OH 'since no one will want you in bath its best you stay here!' what a fkn bitch what is happening. ITS AUNT PETUNIAA. naww anne is so cute and petite and so miserable. her sister looks cruel and stupid and her dad is just as bad honestly. damn they got Greek statues in their giant house. her sister. is. a . bitch. fuck me. give her like two lists and tells her to go visit everyone in the parish. damn all the peeps glared at him as he left like give us the money you foppish twat. Poor Anne, that is a fkn big ass house. everyone's watching em leave. ohhh cows. oop packing up the house, sheets over the furniture, she's lucky they got like a thousand servants. she's found something in teh box - it's a letter in the shape of a boat ooh i wonder who its from. she's been miserable for years; she hates Bath; her mum's dead and everything went to shit after that - her dad's a moron, her sister's a bitch, she's out here gonna fixedly avoid risking meeting him. Lady Russell - she's the one tsk tsk. oooh Annneeeee she is persuaded despite disapproval and anxiety of his prospects - she was 19 and she wanted to fuck and Lady Russell told her to fuck him off because he was a peasant damn fuck Lady Russell; she just brushes Jane off like shut up little girl I'm right you're wrong move on dumbass. And Anne's like, did you not hear me - i literally just tried to tell you I hate my fucking life and I miss him and I love him and I kinda resent you for telling me to say no. More sheep and a puppy, and close up view of sheep. dad and sister got to ride in a fancy carriage and Anne has to ride in a wagon that's a bit rough. I like her bonnet. oh my god her sister i love her. 'i am soooooooo ill' - she's searching for attention; lonely and miserable and sad and a little bitter. Mary you poor girl leave Anne alone none of that emotional manipulation. 'oh i was very well yesterday, it's just today' yeah alright. sounds like Charles isn't as rich as the Elliots and Mary's not happy about it.  ohh i know this lady and of course Anne can play piano very well and everyone knows it -- Mary tryna cut in like yes i'm as accomplished as Anne and they're awkward like ehhhh but we like watching you dance and Anne doesn't dance so there you go and she sits there with an awkward cringe 'no'. Mary goes off and sulks and Charles rolls his eyes. The Musgroves are rich and friends ohmygod Mary don't be embarrassing in your bitterness yikes and we cut and Mary was there but now Mrs Musgrove and Anne are sitting in teh same spot - I like Mrs M's dress, even the lace around her shoulders that matches the hat I don't know it just seems refined or something. There's lots of very swift conversations - good pace just like my fingers and brain can't keep up yo. Yikes Mrs M thinks Mary is a shit mum; Mary says Mrs M riles em up with lollies; Charles says Mary interferes and fancies herself ill; Mrs M tells the kids are so naughty the only way to keep em chill is to feed them cake; dunno who this girl is (Henrietta?) anyway the brown haired petite one, they're sitting in the window, Anne's finished her tea by now damn how is she so casually moving from person to person how long have they been chillin with the Musgroves? anyway she's tea-less and talking with brown-haired-possibly-Henrietta: wants Mary to stop being rude over Mrs M even though she has precedent to no one likes her for it; blondish sister now and Anne's got more tea and this one says Mrs M's not one for etiquette she just wants cake lmaooooo; Mary is superior and wants her to persuade Charles that she is very very ill. Anne and Charles sigh on the couch together. Now only Charles has got a tea. okay never mind Mary's a bit more like her sister than I thought. oh my god kids ew. it's petunia looking high as a kite ahaha i wish i was her naw petunia was like idc bout your sister I wanted to meet you btw ol mate is married and Anne's like kill me now I guess. she's horrified, shocked, wants to find an ant hill to bury herself in. god mary's a bitch i take back everything i said about her but all is well Anne has a new friend. she's got a very good memory, Anne does, naw and she's good with her nephews. what's this girls name plz tell me oh it is Henrietta. oh damn they're invited to the house tonight to 'meet Mr Frederick WEntowORTH by ALL aCOunts a most CHarMinG anD agreEable GeNtlemAn' Anne could not look more uspet. fixing her hair in the mirror - there's boys screaming ohh no a child what's happened oh god Mary's screaming for Anne the boy has broken his collarbone - she's knowledgeable chatting with the doctor - Charles marches in like wtf my dumbass kid out here falling out of trees - it's his first born the kid looks so fkn miserable that's hilarious now he's off to dinner cause -- oh damn i forgot they wear gloves. this kid's just lying there. ahah Mary doesn't give a fuck about her kids she just wants to be in on everything -- damn--"you are the properest person to sit with the boy. but you haven't a mothers feelings, have you?' like BITCH she's just offered to sit here so you can go to dinner and you're out here being a fucking cunt for no reason? gtfo. and the scene just changes with that damn savage leave Anne be she deserves better than this. oh damn i know that cheekbone. Anne's been out here watching this kid all night like literally and Mary shrugs off that Wentworth barely asked after her because they're barely acquaintances and says he and Charles are out shooting and Anne's tense like uhh they're not coming here tho right and just as Mary's like nah BAM SURPRISE BITCH o no O NO and THERE HE IS DRAMATIC ZOOM HE DOESNT EVEN LOOK AT HER SHE LOOKS TERRIFIED, HE BARELY GLANCES AT HER, doesn't talk to her, she grips the chair tight fuck he's hot. another swift glance and he's gone. dramatic zooms all around. Mary returned, didn't even look at her injured child who has a big ass cut on his face who's just sitting in the corner looking plain and miserable and wentworth - "you were so altered he would not have known you again' - scene cuts to her sitting in front of a mirror looking fucking sadddddd. they're all at dinner together fuck me he is so hot my god. the girls are all over him and he's enchanting everyone with his stories and of course the reason why he first went out comes up and he's like 'i was extremely keen... to be at sea. i was extremely keen. i badly wanted to be doing something.' the PAIn in his eyes, the tight swallow as he turned to listen to the Admiral, who sits Right next to Anne who's sorta just sitting with wide eyes staring at the salad bowl. then the admiral leans over 'when a man has no wife he wants to be afloat again' and she's like yeah wow ah ha ha ah 'yes well i had no wife - pity the essex (?? dunno what that means but I GET THE POINT)" and then he looks at her properly for the first time and i want to die and she wants to die and he wants to die and we are all quite miserable where we are BUT WE ARE ONLY A HALF HOUR IN and we move on talkin bout his ship crap just wait im eating chocolate but i have many thoughts. sorry honestly theres no time to take a breath in this movie i love it but damn it doesn't give one enough time to write and snack. RIGHT - ol mate's declared he'll never have a woman on his ship because its not pink and frilly enough and petunia's stepped in like fkn excuse me m8 wanna say that again? and also is Anne and petunia related because they are looking very similar to me right now??? they're not related. alright pulling us back yet again, I'm so sorry this is a mess I'm eating chocolate at 1 am and watching Persuasion, I think you can guess how my day has been. they keep talking about him getting married and he laughs and jokes it off and then excuses himself like yeah real smooth yeeting yourself outta here dude at that certain topic hanging around. naww the only time petunia felt scared or bad was when she was away from her husband this is adorable. ol mate's tryna play the piano to the amusement of the girls, sees Anne sneaking up to listen and immediately hurries outta there, face pale never moved so fast in his life i bet and they all follow him and she just sits down and starts playing while everyone dances. for people who were so refined they danced like crazy people --- 'no never she has quite given up dancing' Wentworth's face falls and he looks at her and she looks away from him come on guys you are hurting me. some guy has just rocked up who the heck is Henry - a cousin? who is not --- 20,000 pounds fuck me. Charles and Mary; wait we're talking about Henry. oh my god, they're planning who's gonna marry who - Henrietta and lousia and henry and wentworth 'what say you Anne, which one is the Captain in love with? she laughs slightly - I've never seen someone so depressed before in my life, at least not in a romance . this is actually a really sad story ya know, Wentworth got rejected and fled to sea; and Anne rejected him and became depressed about it for years. damn. anyway these girls can't go anywhere without Mary butting in, now they're going for a long walk or something and Mary's forcibly inserted herself and they look at each other and the poor kid is sitting with his arm in a bandage that goes round his neck? with that scratch on his face and adorable little round glasses sitting at the table with some cake and a puzzle he's doing with Anne like please don't abandon the suffering child has he even had any panadol?? Who the hell is looking after this kid if they're all going on this long walk - now Charles and Wentworth too. Charles helps two of em over, Wentworth helps Louisa over the fence, and Anne has to help herself over, which she does without hesitation good girl you do you fam. yikes Charles and that are going to Winthrop or something where Charles' aunt lives and Mary's offended to have such connections and refuses to go and assures Wentworth she's only been there twice and he half-smiles politely. louisa came running up to take Wentworth wherever and he like turned around to look at Mary and Anne and Anne fkn spun around to avoid him just generally so smooth these two so smooth. Anne's looking around at like anything and everything except him. every time he's nearby she tenses up and skitters around like she's tryna hide in plain sight but also stand tall and brave and staring straight at him like she wants him to look at her so badly. 'we all wish that charles had married anne instead' 'did charles want to marry anne' 'did you not know' 'you mean she refused him' 'yes' ... 'my parents think it was Lady Russell's doing, that my brother not being philosophical enough for her taste she persuaded Anne to refuse him.' ohhhhhh. damn. Wentworth is very quiet. Mouth tight. Brow low. Anne's freaking out down the hill. Mary's just stolen her spot. Christ. It's chaos. Anne's stumbling along she's tired she's sad she's got the depression her sister's a nightmare, WEntworth doesn't care about her, she cares about him, everything is awful and she trips over some sticks and he turned to look at her, concerned out of his thoughts. Hey petunias back with her carriage and they're offering a seat and Wentworth like rushes over and whispers for them to take Anne and she catches it like wtf confusion she goes to protest and suddenly He's AT her SIDE and he doesn't even say anything and he leans his head down to hers for a moment with a gentle look on his face, putting a hand to her back and her brain just shuts down as he leads her to the carriage and hold her hip tight as he helps her up and she looks around in shock and he's staring straight forward like everything is chill and doesn't look at her again. oh wait petunia is wentworth's sister damn awesome but she doesn't think very well of him. oh they're going to Lime and they ask if Anne can come and I think Wentworth choked on his tea a little bit. and here's some establishing shots : the ocean. Some rocks with seaweed on them. The shittest 'beach' ive ever seen there's like boulders everywhere where's the sand? is that a teepee of seaweed? what Wentworth looks pretty happy about it though like he wants to jump in. I like Charles he's a funny dude. Wow that is one helluva hat Wentworth. All these fancy people going into a sailor's home like etiquette is what but everyone is chill with it except Mary of course. is Anne supposed to have her bonnet off? o no now she's chosen to be the nice depressed girl who tries to talk to the weird depressed guy who is too into poetry about death. cute they're all shoulder to shoulder around the guy's table. she starts getting the hint that this guys a bit off 'you cannot know the depths of my despair.' damn son get a therapist. ohh shittt 'you have no conception of what i have lost' 'yes I have' she says, and Wentworth is sitting there smoking what could be a blunt who can honestly say and he heard the whole thing. Wentworth and Louisa are doing a whole lot of hanging out.  Like every time they actually speak to each other feels like a momentous occasion - they literally just said 'good morning' to each other and it feels like such a big step and her heads down and he's watching her BIG STEPS --oh shit some blonde haired guy that im sure will come up later tipped his hat to the girls and then Anne and Wentworth was coming up behind her and she looked over her shoulder to look at the BLondie but wentworth thought it was at him and he SMILED to himself nawwww. that looks like the house from Pride and Prejudice ahaha. whoop Blondie's back and she looked back at him again and now they're at breakfast ohmyGadh his eyes sparkle when he looks at her the few times he looks at her my god they're talking about Blondie who is apparently their cousin or something and he and mary and anne's father aren't on good terms and she tells Mary so and he looks over his bowl with those fkn sparklllinggg eyes and a playful smile and it doesn't even matter what he says just that look and he drinks his soup and licks his lips and looks up at her and she's just staring but like calmly not even freaking out and she lowers her eyes to her toast and just chills like all is well.  whoop i think weird depressed guy is gonna propose but before he can whats up we're helping girls down some scary stairs yikes i'd sit my ass down going down those things. Louisa is being crazy oh fuckkkk ahahaha hahaSPLAT holy shit oh fuck weird depressed guy is standing in the background with his hands over his mouth Anne is in there with Charles and Wentworth damn she'd 100% be a doctor nowadays, Louisa the dumbass has smashed herself on the cobblestones and WEntworht is just freaking out and he is looking straight to Anne who is giving straight smart orders and he is following them without hesitation - the other women are crying they're all sitting around her while the doctor does like... something and Anne's the only one like hey we have shit to do like people gotta hear about this we don't have phones and her speaking makes Wentworth speak and Charles is in shock cause its his baby sister whose hurt. Once again she's looking after the injured person and she walks out and Wentworth is talking to Charles 'I think it should be Anne - no one so capable as Anne--' he cuts off when he sees her coming in 'I-we-you'll stay, won't you?' he stammers as she enters holy fuck my heart can't handle...they're just staring into each others eyes; in any other context man. he clarifies himself but fuck if they didn't think it. ah fuck Mary is so annoying crying that she should be the one to stay with Louisa like bitch you didn't even give a shit about your injured son let alone your sister-in-law wtf she needs a slap why are they listening to her. 'If only I -- if only--' he cries in the carriage 'yes.' Anne said, looking at him sadly. 'Anne... I regret that...' he looks at her once and again and again and she lowers her eyes and holds the sleeping Henrietta close. like honestly i feel like there's no problem writing their dialogue cause there is just so little of it and when it does happen all of it means everything. but anyway she doesn't answer him and I am sad and he is sad. 'damned foolish' he sa---wait holy shit SCREAAAAAAAMINGgGg fucking hell grab your torches and pitchforks Mrs Mudahwhatver is screaming and Wentworth is riding off in the rain and once again Anne is all alone and she stays up just walking around all night and playing the piano and yay Louisa is conscious and Anne continues to be depressed poor girl and you can tell because its raining. and its still raining and they're not back-- wait now she's in Bath and her fop father and bitch sister are lounging irritatingly and he says he's happy for her to have come because it will be an advantage to have four at dinner. things are white and gold - clean and unhomely and too perfect and the fop is calling everyone ugly - they're eating sorbet again ahaha yum. god they all look bored and miserable and here's blondie come to greet them and he glances at Anne, processes and then snaps back to stare at her in astonishment he's got nice hair and he continues to stare damn and she's so confident she just smiles and stares back I'm so jealous she can do that. oh mygod they're having an intimate conversation in front of her shitty family dude i know he'll probs turn out like a wickham character but one can have hope. damn that jaw-line tho. hmmm lady russell is back. i hate her hair. metal cups are odd - they make sense but so strange. Russell's got plans man Anne's telling her about how her bitch sister is after Blondie and Russell laughs and pats her cheek. Oh yay it's petunia! aw she hears the admiral is in poor health and she's immediately like what's wrong here come get some water. damn bitch sister 'she is nothing to me' damn whats about the screaming and the random rage bursts damn. oh and here's a viscountess why are they always fucked. Blondie and Anne are in the corner flirting crazily I know he's bad but like you can't fake this chemistry no one's that good. and suddenly she's surprised?0oh my god that suit. Mrs Smith oh my god she's adorable she and Nurse Rook are gossipers hell yeah 'there are no secrets in Bath' naw this better not be a Helen situation come on guys - oh fuck Louisa is gonna marry weird depressed guy?? and Anne is freaking thrilled. damn it rains a lot here. far out hats are crazy. Here's Blondie. Anne's so used to being verbally abused by her sister she doesn't respond -----holy damn its Wentworth walking down the street. Penelope is n---- oh fuck he just walked in -- she took a breath with her back to him then spun around HOWDY he looks shocked and delighted and she hse ewihpewjihp oh my god they love each other and they're so nervous and uncertain about it oh my god so awkward and cute please trying to go through the etiquette script oh no so cute 'im already armed for Bath' he grins and she laughs ----oh no. ... oh shit. Blondie just showed up and she just accepted Wentworth's umbrella everything was going so well stop awwww nooo his face falls, her face falls everything is awful. standing all solemn and glum by the window and all dressed in white looking shiny and gorgeous her little sack bag is weird but. and who is she looking for, I wonder. The family is standing awkward---there he be. tall and commanding and hmhmmm i love a man in uniform - she steps in front of him as he tries to pass him by. asks him if he's come for the concert - 'no ive come for a lecture on navigation am i in the wrong place' damn son no he's so good at making her laugh she never laughs oohh her family have to bow to him interesting - he's asking her how she's been since Lime I love them talking he starts on about being concerned about weird depressed guy getting married to Louisa because of his depression about his dead fiance 'a man does not recover to such a devotion to such a woman - he ought not; he does not' i'm sorry was that a declaration of love m8 omg Anne knows it too 'i should like to see it again' 'would you i would've thought i mean the distress, too painful' 'but when the pain is over...' dudes DUDES guys please guys 'It was my doing solely mine - Louisa would not have been obstinate if i had not been weak - Anne, I have never--' GUYS NO the fucking viscountess wandered in ruining everything and now he's gone please come back who cares about this lady singing i mean the candles look cool and but stop honestly who cares bring back Wentworth. omg fop is asleep, Anne and Blondie are bantering and she's not realising that she's pushing into flirting, again my god silly silly innocent naive and entirely relatable lol help. but there's Wentworth standing all tall and handsome in the corner and he looks so sad and meanwhile Blondie is like tryna propose and Wentworth is tryna yeet outta there and she's sprinting over to him tryna block his way tryna convince him to stay HOW THE TURN TABLES 'the next song is beautiful its a very beautiful love song is that not worth your staying for.' 'there's nothing worth my staying for.' kill me. Blondie needs to like there's no way he couldn't tell.  Yay Charles is here! oh and Mary lol. Lol everyone is making decisions on what Louisa and Henrietta are gonna wear on their wedding day except they themselves?? And here is ol mate sweeping int eh room, smile briefly falling at the sight of Anne but everyone's happy to see them yay. mate what he just swept over to her talking softly ohmhwy god i don't think they've said anything directly to each other in their lives its all round the bend and metaphors and insinuations please kill me i love it he picks at her that she says she doesn't like the parties her family and Blondie give; 'they mean nothing to me'  she has nothing in common with them and dislikes how they are, they're smiling at each other - oh shit Mr Elliott is out there meeting with her sister's friend or whatever now fkn Russell's tryna PERSUADE (ahaha) her into marrying Elliot 'that is not what I want!' Russell is shocked. now he's here looking stiff and snappy and awkward because the admiral has told him to invite her and her newly engaged Mr Elliot to his house and oh my god poor ol mate he wants to yeet away into the sunset goodbye world fuck you all 'if you wish it all you have to do is give me a yes or a no and we are both released' 'the admiral is too kind...' 'just say it: yes or no.' fuck you jane austen. Anne is overwhelmed and stormed off Russell faces Wentworth, he sneers her name, she smiles serenely 'You have an extraordinary ability to discompose my friend sir' , he twitches ' you have an extraordinary ability to influence her ma'am for which I find it hard to forgive you.' damn and then the scene ends damn.  she's run off to Mrs Smith and Nook I love em she's ranting about everyone thinking she's gonna marry this guy and they're astonished and relieved cause he is poor and living on loans - he wants her for her money, title and lands thank god she's got her friends eyyy yasss. naw petunia and mrs musgrove are here my favs. Wentworth is writing a letter. whever they're in the room she can't help but look at him. she's talking with weird depressed gyu's fiance's brother - he's bitter that he's moved on so fast - she wouldn't have, its not in her nature, 'it would not be in the nature of any woman who truly loved.' 'do you claim that for your sex?' 'we do not forget you as soon as you forget us.' blah blah about women being stuck at home because people were shit to us back then fuck the patriarchy and all that. Fiance's brother says women and men are the same in being inconstant and forgetting those they love or have loved. Their convo gets interrupted by Wentworth knocking the whatever it is that they sprinkle over ink to dry it off the table and everyone's like dude the fuck we don't own vacuum cleaners you know. Fiance's brother says he's not read a book in his life that didn't have something to say on women's fickleness. 'but they were all written by men.' she argues. they laugh.  he's on about going off to sea and being the victim cause he has to leave his family behind and boohoo it's so hard for me to be away from them even though i'm the one choosing to go away. yikes too close to home. anyway lolol. She says that above all, women are the ones who love the longest when all hope is gone. they all left, he snuck back and put out a letter on the desk, gave her a look and then left. she pretty much threw herself at it OH MY GOD THE LETTTTTTTTERRRRRRRR dudes dudes dudes dudes deud ed dud oh ymf theihwhes 'where are you going' 'i hardly know' ihowyiqruhoijpfg0hurbj3ifjpgrn Charles just keeps on standing between them and chattering finally gets it tips his hat and trots off wringing his hands. those eyes - he offers a hand, he takes it - i tried to forget you, i thought i had. they kiss very slowly, very gently, very chastely. his hair all windswept like that is very becoming - the way she slowly ran her hands over his arm before tucking it into his --- aand now there is a very random festival procession what and they're walking down the empty street. okay cool fine. she wanders into the gaming room or whatever, the camera mans shadow spreading all over the place, her sister grabs her and tells her not to monopolise wentworth - there's another war coming? oh how romantic. 'MY PROPOSAL OF MARRIAGE TO YOUR DAUGHTER ANNE HAS BEEN ACCEPTED.’ he fucking beams. everyones shocked. 'Anne? You want to marry anne, whatever for?' he just grins at the fop. And now she's on a ship and they're sailing off to war, oh how romantic. and there you go.

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ya know before this 1-3am viewing i wouldve given this a 4/5 or even 4.5/5, but now I’m gonna give it a 3/5. there’s just something about it thats a bit... idk. still really like it but also.. yeah.

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