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caffeinated-and-annoying-bard · 9 months

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here i have an analysis on why i think i am so very guilty and scared of sex. it has to do with gender dysphoria. needless to say, tw: mentions of sex-related topics. i am making this for myself, i am very very sorry if it stumbles across someone uncomfortable with it, so i'll put a cut here /nm

maybe if i was a boy i would have less fear about sex? because i feel like most of it was caused because of being afab, the guilt, the taboo around it, the need to be "pure" and stuff. even if i wasn't raised vary catholic (my dad is very catholic, but he does not attend church and my mom is neutral) i feel the purity culture drag me down. i was even more repressed before and during the pandemic, when i hadn't began to question my gender+sexuality yet.

a part of the problem was that i went to a small co-called-montessori-more-like-yuck-what-is-this school, and my internalised mysoginy and homophobia led me to (post-my best friend leaving for prepa, bc he is a year older) hang out with the anime-watching, sex-obsessed, mysoginy-filled, homophobia-fueled boys. one of them is the guy i used to call my best friend (in a very different way in which i call my actual best friend my best friend). he saw me as plastiline, someone he could turn into his anime fantasy of a love interest. we were 13-14 i think? everyone in my grade was starting to discover their hormones and stuff, me included, but every time is saw my "friends" at the time talk about it, the more guilt i got about the subject, the more repressed i got.

the repression, due to the internalised misogyny and homophobia, was most of what delayed my sexuality questionings (which sould have started with the "oh my god if i was a boy i would have such a crush on "her"" -the "her" in question being my now very guy of a best friend. whom i have a crush on.- thoughts, but didn't because every thought about even romance-related topics would lead to me feeling like if i had offered my body to satan. and that's what lead me to the toxic-est situationship with the former-friend guy who always saw through me, as if looking at what i could become to him and not at my eyes.

through my 2021 depressive episode i became not bolder, but more secretive about the topics? i think. it still wasn't healthy. then there came the sexuality questionings, then the gender ones. being horny and stuff is still something that makes me guilty, but now i've started to analyse how much it has to do with dysphoria. i think i don't feel that much of it consistently, it's subtle things for me most of the time (until something triggers it and i have a meltdown. help). and maybe some of the guilt/fear/repulsion about it was because i am afab. when starting to read smut about amab people, i felt way more comfortable, i even related to it a bit more, and smut about afab people made me feel like it was gonna hurt the characters or something. it still feels a bit like it, but reading smut about ftm characters has made me feel more comfortable, less in fear or feeling that it is dangerous, maybe because i'm genderqueer, leaning into transmasc.

what i'm trying to say is: the more comfortable i get with my gender, the more comfortable i feel myself getting with the concept of being horny or the concept of sex itself. knowing that part of it was that i did not want to be viewed as a woman is comforting to me.

i still don't want to have sex, i'm 16, maybe in 10 years i'll change my mind. but at least i'm *starting* to feel a bit more comfortable with my own body and the idea of sex itself :) it has been a long trip and i am not even in the middle of it. but i'm happy about starting to understand my fear of it. yippeeeeeeeeeeeee :D

#val ramblings

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90363462 · 2 years

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What If You Hate Oral Sex? - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty

Shellie R. WarrenOct. 09, 2020 05:11PM EST

Recently, while talking to one of my marriedfriends, she told me that the topic of oral sexcame up in their household. All of her and her husband's children, minus one, are young teenagers at this point. And so, when one of them came into the kitchen and said, "Do you and daddy have oral sex?" and my friend replied with, "Absolutely", I rolled at her candor and how her child was like, "Eww!". The way I see it, good for them that they are so open about sex. After all, it's how their children got here.

Yet, as I thought more about fellatio and cunnilingus, I also reflected on the various responses and reactions I've witnessed, every time one or both acts are mentioned. I'd have to say that probably around 7 times out of 10, oral sex is spoken of, by both men and women, very fondly. Oh, but there is that 30 percent who, whether it's giving head and/or receiving it, words cannot express how much they find the act to be close to grotesque and definitely unappealing. "Problem" is oftentimes, when someone like this is in a relationship, that sentiment isn't even close to being mutual. And sometimes, that can rock the boat of the relationship, more than a little bit.

That's what we're gonna tackle today. If you're someone who thoroughly enjoys everything about sex other than giving oral and/or receiving it while you're partner is all for it, all day and every day (on both the giving and receiving end), here are some things to think about—that you might've never considered, quite this way, before.

Is It All in Your, Umm, Head?

I've actually shared before that one of my favorite stories about a mom having "the sex talk" with her child for the first time came from a female comedian who was sharing her experience during a Ted Talk. Her daughter, who was somewhere between 8-10 at the time (I can't exactly remember), intently listened to her mother put her own spin on the birds and the bees. When her mom finished, the daughter then said, with a semi-horrified look on her face, "So you have sex where you pee?!", only for her mom to revisit how real that revelation was and respond by saying, "Yeah. It's kind of like taking a trip to your favorite amusement park and going to a toxic waste dump at the same time."

Even though that might initially evoke some double yucks, just at the mere thought of it all, the reality is, when any of us who have sex, that's basically what's transpiring. For whatever reason, God himself designed us to relieve ourselves with the same parts of our body where sexual pleasure comes from. So, if that is a part of the reason why the thought of engaging in oral sex freaks you out, I get it. At the same time, God also created the people who invented things like showers, baths, washcloths and soap. So, if the reason why you struggle with the thought of participating in oral sex is because "he pees down there", I promise you that if you make the request that he hop in the shower first, you will feel more calm and confident. Or at least, you should.

Have You Ever Even Tried Oral Before?

I'm going to be very TMI here for a moment. As someone who has participated in more than her fair share of fellatio, other than bracing myself for "the final act" (I'm sure you get it), to me, it really isn't that big of a deal. In many ways, it's like sucking on a really big…I guess "thumb" would be the best way to explain it. Yes, you have to factor in things like breathing, shifting speeds and endurance (based on how long your man's stamina is), but to tell you the truth, I'm actually far more impressed with men who go down on us—not because our vaginasaren't one of the best things on this entire planet but because, if he's doing things right, there is a lot of fluid going on down there, right off the rip.

That's why, whenever a woman tells me that she hates fellatio, my first question is, "Have you ever even tried it before?" because oftentimes, they haven't. And if you've come to the conclusion that you semi-loathe something that you've never even experienced before, well, you're either basing your decision on ignorance or the stories of others—and when it comes to something like sex, that twisted logic simply isn't good enough. As Mikey used to say in the throwback Life commercial, "Try it. You just might like it."

Let’s Break Down the Penis a Bit, Shall We?

Remember how I just said that giving headreally isn't that big of a deal? If you're looking at the monitor with complete and total side-eye, I've got another question for you—how much time have you even spent with a penis? Laugh if you want but I'm dead serious. Other than perhaps catching a peek (and maybe not even wanting to do that) when your partner is naked, do you really not give penises much thought beyond it being what penetrates you during intercourse? If so, that could also be a part of the issue/problem. Sometimes it's because our parents totally sucked at giving us the sex talk, sometimes it's because we barely paid attention in high school-level anatomy class, other times it's because the Church acts like sex is something that shouldn't be discussed until marriage (and, let me tell it, barely even then)—for so many reasons, there can be such an ignorance around male genitalia that it profoundly affects us on a sexual level.

That's actually why I wrote articles on the site like, "15 Pretty Tripped Out Things You May Not Know About Penises", "Do You Swallow? The Unexpected Health Benefits Of Sperm", "10 Things You Didn't Know About The Male And Female Orgasm", "Blow Your Man's Mind By Giving Him This Tantalizing Massage" and "8 Men & 8 Women Told Me What They Wish Their Partner Would STOP Doing In Bed". I'm a firm believer that the more you learn about something, the less fearful you tend to be about it. Study the penis. It's not as "terrifying" as some of you might think that it is.

Did You Have a Bad (or Selfish) Oral Sex Experience?

Also, remember how I said in the intro that I wasn't only going to tackle this from the angle of women who hate to give fellatio but also women who aren't big fans of receiving cunnilingus too? I know quite a few women who roll like that (interestingly enough, a lot of them are Leos and Capricorns; if you fall into that sign, please hop in the comments). When I've asked them why they would rather pass on receiving head, some have said that it simply doesn't get them off. However, more have said that the times when they have conceded and given it a shot, it felt more sopping wet and uncomfortable than anything else. And so, after giving a couple of different partners a try and the experience totally sucking (and absolutely not in a good way), they've decided to pass on all future opportunities. Then there's another scenario. Some women I know don't get down with giving or receiving oral sex because they've found their partners to be selfish as hell. Either all he cares about is getting some head or, if he is going down, it's more like he's barely tolerating it so that he can get some fellatio as soon as he's done.

If you fall into any of these dynamics, while thankfully, I can't really relate, what I will say is, you are sooooooooooo—breathe—oooooooo missing out if you've decided to let the past hinder your future. Aside from the fact that 75 percent of women barely have orgasms from vaginal penetration alone, there is something that is so damn hot about engaging in the kind of sex that has no hindrances.

If you've had a bad sexual experience (including if your partner was selfish), the best thing to do is share that with your current partner so that the two of you can work through it. If after a few tries, you're still like "nah", don't feel bad. Oral sex—on the giving or receiving end—isn't necessarily for everybody (I once had sex with a guy who really liked giving oral sex but hated receiving it…go figure). Just make sure that you've come to that conclusion solely based on preference and not some really unpleasant past situations.

What About Performance Anxiety?

Any of you who are die-hard Insecure fans, you might recall the episode when Issa and her girls went to a sex expo and discussed their thoughts on oral sex; especially giving head. Issa shared that she wasn't that big of a fan because she felt like her teeth were too big and she wasn't all that great at it. Then, when Tiffany told her about how empowering giving fellatio was, Issa tried it on Daniel, only for him to ejaculate on her face and totally piss her off.

First, doing anything sexually with the objective of "overtaking someone" is probably not the best idea. On the sexual tip, do things because 1) you enjoy it and 2) you want to please your partner; not manipulate them. And second, while I would be lying to you if I said that all oral sex is the same (some folks really are better at it than others), what I will say is if you're with a partner who is truly worthy of you, it's not a "performance pageant" or competition of some sort. In other words, he's not looking at the top of your head and imagining a scorecard. He's simply enjoying being with you. If you're willing to check your fears and your ego (not one or the other—both) at the door, he will be willing to share with you what works for him. Also, if he's a really great lover, he will want you to do the same when it comes to pleasuring you too.

Is Giving Fellatio a Deal-Breaker for You?

Now if after all of what I just said, you're still like, "Yeah girl, I'll pass", then this is what I've got to say on that—be upfront with your partner. The reason why is because, while oral sex may not be that big of a deal to you, it might be for him. By the way, that doesn't make him a bad person. Not in the least. Matter of fact, I've said in more than a few interviews, that if I fall in love with a man and he is not completely enthralled with oral sex, he's someone I am going to have to take a pass on, on the marriage tip. I take the marriage covenant seriously, so I'm not signing up to spend the rest of my life with someone who isn't all-the-way-dirty-down on both the giving and receiving end of head. Are y'all kidding me?

Men have the right to feel the same way. So, if you are someone who doesn't like to give fellatio and/or receive cunnilingus, once the two of you enter the sexual part of your relationship, it is definitely something that you need to put on the table. If what you're thinking is, "Why? It shouldn't be that big of a deal" then the checkmate I have for you is, if it isn't a big deal, why are you hiding it?

I am all about the right couples being a great complement for one another. So, look at it this way—if he really is your "the one", then he will Kanye shrug at your reservations and all will be fine. But if he's honest that it's something that he can't go without (whether it's giving or receiving), don't penalize him for that. Sexual satisfaction is a very real and justifiable priority in a relationship. It's always best to wait for the one who will fulfill you, as you fulfill him, fully, in this area.

Always Remember That Great Sex Comes with Some Compromise

Compromise. It's what makes relationships go 'round. That said, if you're someone who basically hurls at the mere thought of giving or receiving oral sex, it would be totally irresponsible of me if I didn't advise that you absolutely not push yourself past your comfort zone. Sex, of any kind, should never feel violating. Yet if fellatio or cunnilingus are simply no more or less than not your favorite things to do—like maybe you've got a sexual position that you prefer over another—consider "being down" more often, simply because your partner wants to be pleased andplease. Also, keep in mind that oral sex tends to have levels. What I mean by that is things like how long you do it and up to what point you do it can both take some of the "edge" off.

Bottom line, sometimes focusing more on simply being close to your partner can take some of the "eww" out of acts like oral sex. You won't know unless you try. So…why not try it?

Join our xoTribe, an exclusive community dedicated to YOU and your stories and all things xoNecole. Be a part of a growing community of women from all over the world who come together to uplift, inspire, and inform each other on all things related to the glow up.

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artemis-fowl-incident-report · 3 years

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Parenting of the Fowl siblings

Inspired by @orangerosebush's dissection of Artemis and Butler's strange child/parent relationship, I started reflecting on the relationship between Artemis, Myles, and Beckett to their own parents and... I've been angry every since. This is basically my rant about how they failed their children.

Artemis

It's made pretty clear at the beginning of the series that Artemis doesn't have... the best relationship with his parents. His father is described in rather distant and cold terms (rather befitting, given he was missing in the arctic), and his mother is dealing with severe mental health issues, which means Artemis has to take on a more care based role in their relationship. As the series progresses, however, we start to uncover aspects of their dynamic before the events of the books, back when Artemis had to make appointments to see his father.

The Fowl parents parenting strategy at this time seem to be "All the rules". As the Time Paradox says (chap 1, p14) "His [Artemis's] childhood had been a time of order and discipline". This was a time where his father was shaping Artemis to the be the perfect little heir for their criminal empire, forcing this child into a very ridged mould he was always going to be too small for. And being a child, Artemis thought that was what he wanted to be, because he was given no other direction to follow. Yes, he's good at crime. Yes, he enjoys it. But he wasn't given much of a choice either way. And because his father was mentioned to be absent from the home a lot, even before his disappearance, and all they'd talk about is business matters when he returns, Artemis learns to associate affection and monetary gain.

Artemis is also, in a way, informed that he will never truly be a good person, since crime and criminal acts are the only thing set to define him as a person, and his legacy in the world, and the psychological repercussions of that are evident all the way through the series, from his questioning his own morality and evaluating what that means, to his near constant atonement for things he's done wrong.

Meanwhile Angeline is doing very little to stop this, or at the very least we don't hear any anecdotes where she tries to give Artemis that freedom that he's not receiving from his father. It's sort of evident in the way he addresses her. "Mother". Strict and formal. Something they used as a term of endearment for years, and that Artemis was comfortable with, until it suited Angeline, at which time she more or less goes on a mini campaign to make him feel bad about it.

And so, when his father disappears, Artemis carries out what he's be trained to do. Crime.

Then, when his father comes back The Rules Change. Because Artemis Sr has a change of heart, arbitrarily switching his moral compass, he invalidating everything Artemis has worked so hard for in order to gain his approval, and get him back. He invalidates the years of Artemis training himself to be the perfect son, of hurting himself and others to achieve his goals, of doing exactly what he was told to do by his father!

And instead of communicating about it honestly, reassuring Artemis that this is truly how things are going to be from then on, they simply tell him what to do again without taking his feelings, and his active trauma, into account. When Artemis Sr first wakes up and announces this revelation of wholesomeness, Artemis just thinks its down to his "good mood" at being alive, or the fairy magic in his system, and that he'll "soon return to his usual gruffness" Eternity Code (chap 3, p86)

Indeed the way Artemis describes his father throughout that entire section in the Eternity Code is much like how one would describe a changeling, left by the fairies in someone else's place.

"I could not believe what I was hearing. One of my most persistent memories was of Father repeatedly quoting the family motto, 'aurum potestas est' - 'Gold is power'. And now, here he was, turning his back on the Fowl principles. What had the magic done to him?" - Eternity Code (Chap 3, p87)

And, worst of all, Artemis has no idea if they'll be any consistency in it, because Fowl Sr has never been around Artemis long enough to show him consistency in the past, so he's afraid. And what do scared children do? They act out, or return to previous patterns of behaviour that made more sense to them. Aka Crime.

All the while Angeline repeatedly uses emotional manipulation and black mail with Artemis, in order for him to do what she wants. There are occurrences of it The Eternity Code, The Opal Deception, and The Atlantis Complex.

"Angeline Fowl played her trump card. 'Well, you know, Arty dear, sometimes people are not who they think they are.'

This was a none-too-subtle dig at Artemis for mesmerizing his parents" The Atlantis Complex - (Chap8, p217)

Angeline is actively making Artemis feel bad about traumatic events and his reaction to them, as a child wanting his parents to not be in pain!

Both parents prove more than once that their love is conditional upon obedience no matter how much they say otherwise, or at the very least this is how they make their children feel. We often forget that, through the entire series of books, Artemis is a child. A brilliant child, yes, but a child non the less. With that context, everything else seems all the more heart breaking.

The Twins

Myles and Beckett, on the other hand, were raised pretty much the opposite to Artemis in what I'm deeming "Free Range Child Care". They were allowed to do and be pretty much anything they wanted, something Artemis reflects on in the books:

"The twins charged in here [their parents bedroom] at all hours of the day and night, flinging themselves on the four-poster bed to wrestle with their protesting mother and father. But Artemis had never experienced that" - Time Paradox (Chap 1, p14)

This has its benefits. Children raised in more hands off environments tend to be more independent, and the twins seem to have a better relationship with their parents on an emotional level than Artemis.

However, problems start to show in this parenting style when the events of the Fowl Twins comes about.

Firstly, there is no doubt in my mind that Beckett is somewhere on the neurodivergent spectrum, as he had all the hallmarks of someone with ADHD. But, away from that, it's clear Beckett needs help with certain behavioural elements. He has no sense of danger, he has issues retaining invisible information (aka information that is theoretical, or does not have examples immediately in front of him), he struggles with reading comprehension, memory issues, and a short attention span. This kid would get absolutely destroyed in a typical school environment. And what do his parents do? Learn Mindfulness, not for Beckett, but to "cope with Beckett's behaviour".

What?

They don't try to help Beckett in seemingly any way. They just shrug their shoulders and be all "well that's Beckett for you". Who does that help? No one. It's not addressing the problem, nor is it helping Beckett learn to do better by himself and others in the long run. It's like covering an open wound with duck tape. It's still bleeding, it's not the right tool for the job, and it's gonna be more painful once you eventually have to remove it.

And Beckett obviously feels the affects of this:

"Beckett shook off the Pixel's small hands. 'They'll say what everyone always says when I know something and they don't: You're wrong Beckett. Leave the thinking to Myles, Beckett. You're the dumb brother, Beckett. Animals can't talk, Beckett Fowl, and, even if they could, they wouldn't talk to you because you're the stupid twin." - Fowl Twins: Deny All Charges. (Chap 6, p113)

And what's the one thing that neurodivergent kids respond to as a rule? Stability. Something the Fowl parents seem incapable of providing.

After years of being hands off with them, there's no basis for communication, or healthy patterns of time spent together in this family. Simply put, these kids don't have a dialogue with their parents. Both Angeline and Artemis Sr are off somewhere else most of the time, meaning the kids learn to be self reliant. As a result, when they start getting into dangerous situations, they don't tell their parents. Why would they? There's never been any consequences for their actions before. And if the parents just start imposing rules on them out of no where, they're simply not going to follow them, because they don't have any concept of what a repercussion will be after.

And this all comes to ahead in the second book, were the infamous "Wrist Bump Promise" happens, where Artemis Sr forces the twins to use a wrist pump promise to say that they won't try interacting with the fairies again. Let me repeat, Fowl Sr uses a coping mechanism that the Twins developed as a means of trust between the two of them, which was a central point of how they cope with a lot of the traumatic experiences they went through in the series, and used it as a tool of obedience. It's an abuse of authority, and trust. No matter what Fowl Sr's motives are, driven by love or not, that's not okay.

All the while Angeline is in another room, smiling and polite, taking away the main means of protection her sons have against the very real threats they are still facing, aka Lazuli, whom she is specifically using her motherly kindness as an insipid weapon. She is removing not just their protector, but their friend, same with Whistle-blower.

And at the end of it all, they were wrong, not just on a parenting front, but on a logical front. Their children were still in danger, even as Artemis Sr and Angeline were forcing them to comply with things which they thought would make them safe. The kids had to solve their own problems, behind their parents back, blatantly skirting around their rules, and putting themselves in more danger than if their parents had been supportive and asked them "what do you need? How can we help? How do we solve this problem together".

All this means is that Myles and Beckett don't learn to come to their parents when things go wrong. They just learn to hide things better. Instead of opening up a judgment free dialogue, with unconditional love and support, they make it clear that if the Twins come to their parents when they mess up, they will get punished for it

Artemis Parenting his brothers

We don't get much of Artemis in the Fowl Twins (sad Gaby is sad about that). But what we get proves that Artemis is doing a better job than his parents at raising his brothers, even from space.

From his small video message in the first Fowl Twins book, Artemis does all the things that his parents should have been doing the entirety of the series.

1) He sets up a support structure for them, gives them all the information they may need free from judgement.

2) He trusts them to be intelligent and wily enough to solve their own problems, but makes it clear that their first priority should be their safety.

3) He gives them resources they can tap into if they get too over their heads, saying to call him if they need help or if they want to talk about it afterwards because in his words "I do worry".

If anything, Artemis is excited for them, because he trusts in their independence and the possible benefits that could come with this adventure for them as people (I mean, he knew they were gonna get up to some BS while he was gone, they're Fowl's. It's like a genetic predisposition. Something their parents really should have come to terms with for their kids sake)

In conclusion, the Fowl parents are just... No. And I, for one, can't wait for the day Artemis comes back to earth and takes custody of his siblings until his parents start showing signs of real change.

#artemis fowl

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af1899 · 3 years

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FEH — Calendar for Nov/2021 is out + own thoughts and plans

(Twitter thread)

The calendar for the month is finally out, and we can plan ahead for who/what I want to pull on, as well as look out for other potentially interesting events.

I'll dump my own plans and thoughts as per usual below the cut, feel free to read on.

Banners

I didn't include links and mentions from the leaks' contents, in case you're avoiding those.

From the looks of it, the dates are still the same for my timezone, but I've read that'll change starting next calendar for some months, due to the Daylight Savings.

Anyway, as it turns out, Ryoma was indeed our next Resplendent Hero, he looks good, but I care very little about him, so I didn't make the usual thought post — but Ryoma being the next Resplendent upgrade candidate means that the leak for the whole month is turning out to be true, it's still soon to say it's trustworthy, but I'm assuming it is to motivate myself to keep saving, as there wouldn't be anything of interest coming for the remainder of November.

The only banner I'm worried about is [Heroes with Bonfire], there are 14 sources in the regular pool but only 3 will comprise the banner itself, and among them is Idoun (best girl 💜🙏🏻), if she's there (extremely unlikely doubtfully but who knows), I'll try to aim for at least one merge, otherwise I'm hard skipping this month; I even had to pass up on the other 3 tempting red stones from the monthly refines banner, Summer Tana doesn't need merges right away and I think pulling on her home banner would be best.

There's also yet another {Double Special Heroes} banner coming... what's with I.S. breaking patterns? That should come out every 2 months. 🤨

Anyway, last time we got a rerun for an assortment of seasonals released this year, from the Valentine's banner to the Young Heroes one, the next banner... well, here are my guesses, just what remains of some of the thematics that appeared in the previous one:

Red

→ Duo Young Eirika+Ephraim

→ Bridal Shanna

Blue

→ Bridal Juno

→ Young Lyon

Green

→ Spring Inigo

→ Summer Caspar

Colorless

→ Summer Duo Hilda+Marianne

→ Groom Saul

...

Hm... assuming I got it right, I'd pick colorless, but unlike last time, we'll need to wait two weeks for the banner reveal, maybe less if it's datamined and shared, but as I've expressed before, these banners are [Orb] scavengers, so I'll skip it in the end.

The New Heroes were also leaked, of which none are my interest (again, assuming the leaks are true).

So yeah, gonna save and see what's in store this month.

Events

Just the usual without much of interest.

[Heroes Journey] (three days) and [Pawns of Loki] (two days) will run once like past months, [Røkkr Sieges] is also coming back and starting today, it's a fun game mode with rather acceptable reward value, but I don't have much motivation to aim for the top in my world, I'll just waste whatever [Stamina] and score as well as I can like usual.

We'll get [Limited Hero Battles] soon, perhaps I'll feel inspired to record a video of my own solution of an abyssal map unless it covers Three Houses units, of which I have very little and stand no chance.

Palla and Catria also get their [Bound Hero Battle], since it's the first run, I'm guessing their banner will have Est as the last unit? Minerva would fit too, but not as well. Either way, it reminded me Palla — best Whitewing! — is +9 among my projects, I'm looking forward to finish merging her.

No free unit will get a rerun after Veld until maybe later next month, but we'll get a few new maps and free units, the next New Heroes are also coming early next month, we can expect the next [Feh Channel] by then, to announce the theme for [Book VI], among the usual celebratory stuff and whatever, I'm quite thrilled to find out what's in store.

So... overall?

I think it's an average month without much of interest (not even the themed banners hold much of interest barring the [Bonfire] one), if you've seen the leaks, chances are you won't be as thrilled for which Heroes you'll see later on, and I can see that, specially since now it's gaining credibility so I don't feel the same thrill but I like planning ahead when given the resources... maybe the fodder will be interesting at least? Who knows, but I plan to skip all along.

Anyway, that's it for me, take care and thanks for reading!

#FEH #feh calendar #fe heroes #fire emblem heroes

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90363462 · 2 years

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So...15 Men Told Me About What They LOVE During Sex

Ever wonder what men think about during the actual act?

Shellie R. Warren

Sep. 17, 2021 06:18PM EST

I've got quite a few male friends. Also, because of what I do for a living, I have many male clients too. While there are a billion-and-one reasons why I'm actually grateful to be able to say this, probably my top favorite one is that I get to hear a lot of men's innermost thoughts — things that sometimes they are hesitant to say because they're not sure how we'll take it and/or things they've never really felt comfortable being very open about and/or — and yes, this happens — things they never get asked their thoughts on and so, they never bring those things up.

Interestingly enough, this is something that falls into the "Door #3" category. Do men talk about sex? Y'all already know the answer to that. Yet when I asked 15 of them (middle names were used; usually are) about what they actually adore about what transpires during the actual act, I found the answers to be "Oh, really?" enough to share with y'all. With their permission, of course. #wink

Chavez. 25. Single.

"This is my kinda topic right here. Damn, I can only mention one thing? Hmm. I think what I like the most about sex is right when I enter into a woman. The sound she makes, the way our breathing shifts and how our bodies flow — damn, that's my s — t right there."

Kiran. 33. In a Relationship.

"This question needs to have a qualifier — if you're in a relationship or not. When I wasn't only having sex with one woman, I liked the newness of learning about someone's body that I had never been with before. That's seductive as hell. Now, I love to find a 'new spot' on my partner. It's like pushing a button that you didn't know led you to someplace you didn't realize you wanted to go."

Glenn. 27. Single.

"Assertive women are what I like. Someone who is like, 'We're gonna do it this way and you're gonna like it'. Women who just kinda lay there are boring. But a woman who likes to switch up positions, doesn't mind doing some tying up and tells me when it's time to go another round…that's the kind of sex that I'm all about."

DeShawn. 39. Married.

"I like it when a woman knows the difference between when I ejaculate and when I cum. My wife is really good at that. When she is able to give me an orgasm, my favorite part is trying to 'one up her' by trying to give her at least three more right after. Going down on her is my favorite way to do that."

Harold. 42. Divorced.

"It might sound wild but the thing I miss most about my ex is our sex life. Let's not get into all of that, though."

"Let me just say that what I liked was her dirty talk — barely above a whisper, nasty as f — k and super confident. People always talk about how visual men are. Yeah, we like to hear s — t too."

Armon. 35. In a Relationship.

"There is nothing like opening your eyes and seeing a beautiful woman on top of you. She's looking you dead in the eyes with a smirk on her face and riding you like she's about to eat you alive. Damn."

Gideon. 28. Single.

"Two things that a woman can't fake are her vagina contracting and her body getting wetter. That's why I don't understand how men can't pick up on ladies that fake it. Anyway, those are my favorite things. When you are in a zone and you can feel that you're turning your lady on, that s — t is absolutely amazin'."

Merlin. 29. Married.

"You ever spoon until you both cum and then fall asleep spooning in the same position afterwards? When you are so connected that you can have an orgasm at the same time and then you don't want it to end, so you let your man stay inside of you and you fall asleep like that? Get someone you can do that with all of the time. Nothin' better."

Michael. 44. Married.

"I like how my wife smells. I don't mean when she has an essential oil on. I mean, just her regular scent. It's crazy because when we're having sex, it's like I want to get as deep into her skin as possible — just take her all in."

Patrick. 23. Single.

"I like the time before intercourse happens. You both know that's where it's headed but you try and build up the anticipation for as long as possible."

"I know I probably seem young, but I've been having sex for a while and learning not to underestimate foreplay is the ultimate sex hack. When two people make each other want each other, that's when the sex is really great."

Orrin. 32. Divorced.

"I like getting my head pulled in. You know you're doing a great job going down on a woman when all she can do is breathe really fast and pull your head in. Hell yeah."

Hayes. 48. Single.

"There is nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, like the taste of a woman. Her mouth tastes one way. Her skin tastes another way. And her walls — there's nothing like it. I can just lick and kiss for hours and be perfectly content. What's crazy is while women might think it's for them, it's actually for me. Tasting a woman is what I love the most."

Kristopher. 32. Single.

"'Round three is what I love about sex. The first one is all about getting the stress out. The second is about building some stamina. Three? That's when it's all about just enjoying your partner. There's no rush. There's no pressure. You're just 'in it'. I like being in it."

Danyel. 40. In a Relationship.

"You know what I really like? Undressing a woman. I like lingerie but I honestly don't care what she has on. It doesn't matter how long I've been with her either. The build-up of seeing different parts of her body as I go at my own pace…it's like unwrapping a Christmas gift, damn near every time."

Everson. 36. Single.

"Whenever a woman trusts you enough to let you literally enter into her being, there is no higher privilege. Might sound like a line to some but it's the truth. Being one with someone whose energy and spirit you vibe with already gives you a climax before one ever happens."

"Will never know how to get enough of that."

Featured image by Giphy

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Shellie R. Warren

Shellie R. Warren is a lover of quotes, lip gloss, graphic t-shirts, silver jewelry and Pumas. She's an author with two published books (thus far) on matters of the heart. In fact, 2019 was the 15-year anniversary of her first release ' Inside of Me: Lessons of Lust, Love and Redemption' (she's seriously mulling over penning a sequel to it) and 2020 marked her 20-year anniversary of being a (mostly) full-time writer. Aside from that, when Shellie's not tellin' all her business, she's helping couples (marriage life coach) or assisting with birthing babies (doula). Her byline is all over cyberspace, but where you won't find her is on social media. Like anywhere. At all. If you need to hit her up, she's (usually) reachable at missnosipho at gmail.com, though. HOWEVER, pitches for xoNecole need to go to editor@xonecole. Hit her up for *strictly* Shellie-related stuff. Again, pitch article ideas to the site addy NOT HER. Much appreciated.

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