#i really need to learn how to fail with grace and embrace being mediocre | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

infolearn · 5 years

Text

5 Reasons Why Everything Happens For A Reason In Life

“Remember, life happens for us, not to us.” Some time ago, I walked away from a business. I still remember the feeling when I did it. I was overcome with this sensation of animosity and guilt. I was engulfed in defeat and despair. I had spent three years building that business and it could have easily become a 9-figure empire at the bare minimum. But I walked away. When I did, I really questioned whether everything happens in life for a reason. But somewhere, in the back of my mind, I heard the voice of God. I knew that only He could turn a mess into a message, a test into a testimony, a trial into a triumph and a victim into a victory. I knew there had to be a reason for it all. I just couldn’t find it at the time. Anytime we fail at something, we’re overcome by a sense of defeat. It’s nature. And it’s part of life. We all go through it. Does it feel good? Nope. Not in the slightest. But you can’t always expect life to be rainbows and sunshine. But there is a reason for the things that happen to you. In fact, the greatest lessons you could ever learn in life are born from failure. I think that too often, people are so afraid of failure that they spend most of their lives running from it, when, in fact, it should be embraced and welcomed. You will never learn from success. You will never improve if you’re always living on easy street. There is true strength and progress to gain just outside of your comfort zone. Still, I know that this doesn’t make it feel any better. I can only relate the journey. I can only convey how it feels. I can relate the pain and help others discover ways through it. I can’t make it better. No one can. But through the pain of failure and our most trying experiences, something wonderful is born. It’s a renewal of spirit, a birth of rejuvenation and an overall belief in greater things to come. If you have faith in God, Allah, Buddha, or simply the universal oneness that binds us all, you’ve likely realized that everything in life does happen for a reason. And, even when you can’t understand it at that very moment, it does. Because, down the line, somewhere in the future, somewhere in the unknown, something else happens that’s so wonderful, that it’s only then that you realize it would have never come to fruition had you not suffered that earlier tragedy in the first place.

Why Things Happen For a Reason

If you’re suffering through a tragedy right now, then my heart goes out to you. I know the feeling of despair all too well. Maybe I’m just an extremely sensitive person, but it affects me deeply. Yet, then again, failure and tragedy affects everyone. It might impact us differently, but at the end of the day, it does impact us. But there’s a reason why those things happen to you. Failure and tragedy are by design. They are part of nature’s chisel, chipping away at us in an attempt to improve our lives. However, it doesn’t happen by sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself. You have to turn that mess into a message. You might not realize it today, but there is a grand design. When I walked away from that business, there was one thing going through my mind. All I could think about was the fact that human beings were meant to thrive, not just survive. I was living in survival mode. Mentally and emotionally and even spiritually, I was on survival autopilot. I was trying to survive the emotions that had engulfed me and altered my perspective. But I realized that this experience and this situation was meant for me to thrive. And thrive I have. It’s funny how things can really alter your trajectory if you embrace them rather than run from them. I was put here for a reason. I was meant to help others realize the utility in their failures and not to run from them. Sure, there are other reasons for my existence, but that’s certainly one of the cornerstones. What had happened to me was that I was getting further and further away from helping others. I was so immersed in my own sh*t that I couldn’t see the proverbial forest through the trees. But since that experience, some extraordinary things have happened to me. For a long time, I had ignored networking and building deep and lasting relationships with people. But after that experience, I drowned myself in helping others. I created immense value for others without anyone ever asking me to do so. I built bridges, not walls. Now, if you want to go forward in life, then that’s exactly what you need to do. Because, by adding value in this world, and by helping others achieve their own success, you form the deepest and longest-lasting bonds. Yes, everything does happen for a reason in life. Everything. We might not realize it. But it does. And they do. However, there are 5 underlying reasons why I feel that everything happens for a reason in life. These 5 reasons are fundamental to our greater understanding of the meaning of our lives. No, I’m not trying to get existential on you here. I’m being serious. #1 — It prepares you for what’s to come One very powerful realization is that everything happens for a reason because it’s preparing you for what’s to come in life. It’s helping to get you ready for a bigger and brighter future. You can’t have the pleasure of success without suffering through the pain of defeat. Even when these are tragedies outside of our control, there is a reason for them. Cognitively, it doesn’t make sense. I know that. You can’t understand the reasons why someone dies, someone leaves you for someone else, or why a business might collapse. All you’re dealing with at the time is pain. But once that pain washes over you, and you move slowly into the future, things begin happening that wouldn’t have happened had you not suffered through that pain in the first place. #2 — It makes you more resilient Failure, tragedy and defeat makes you more resilient. Not at the time when you’re suffering through it. But over time as the weeks, months and years wear on. Often, you will never get over those biggest heartbreaks in life. But that’s okay. Because it shapes you into a more resilient person. It hardens you for what’s to come. The truth is that tough times never last. But tough people do. And the scars that we receive in life will remind of us where we’ve been, but they don’t necessarily need to dictate where we will go. Don’t wallow too far in misery. Lift yourself up. Find the beauty in the simple things in life because that’s what’s important sometimes. Ultimately, you understand that not everything is in your control, nor should it be. You simply can’t control everything that happens to you in life. But you can control how you respond. There’s an old quote that says life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. #3 — It helps you to shatter your old beliefs When something bad happens to us, and it’s within our control, as in, the circumstances were a product of our own behavior, it makes a big impact on our ego. In fact, it shatters our old beliefs. We fall from grace and realize that whatever it is that we were doing, however it is that we were behaving, wasn’t at all proper. You look at things differently. You learn to approach it in another way. That’s the thing about beliefs. They’re ingrained in us from childhood. They’re baked into our minds. And it’s so hard to overcome those old beliefs when we’re stuck in our ways living in mediocrity. I’m not talking about tragedies here. I’m talking about failures that we played a role in. It’s pretty powerful to shatter your old beliefs. It’s essentially your ego crashing down to the floor. We’re able to reason so much of our limiting behavior because it’s steeped in habits. We go after pleasure while trying to avoid pain in the short term. Not in the long term. If we were avoiding pain in the long term we would always do what it took to make big progress and improve over time. #4 — It helps invite progress not perfection It’s all about progress and not perfection. Imagine being able to improve any area of your life by just one percent every day. That one percent compounds on itself over time. But too often, we don’t improve. We actually stay stagnant. That is, until we’re jolted out of our old limiting patterns of behavior by some deep amount of pain or failure. That’s when life’s real lessons kick into high gear. However, too often, when something goes wrong, we fall of the proverbial wagon. We don’t make a little bit of progress. We actually go backwards. However, when that deep and sudden failure occurs, it opens your eyes to the necessity of making progress. #5 — It makes you more empathetic and real It’s hard to be empathetic when you haven’t really suffered through major defeat and tragedy. It just is. Sure, you can be sympathetic still. But not empathetic. Empathy only happens when you can truly relate through an experience with someone else. There’s real power in that. It also makes you far more real and far less superficial. It’s easy to be superficial. We all have 3 faces. The face we show the world, the face we show family and friends, and our other face that we show no one. The latter is our true self. What happens when you suffer through a big tragedy is oftentimes those faces merge and you are left with a much more true and real face. Why is that important? Because authenticity and transparency is so hard to come by these days. But when you find a person who’s real and authentic and transparent, it really does make you stop dead in your tracks. Those are the types of people that I choose to surround myself with. Not fake people who are only concerned with what others think of them. Read the full article

#everythinghappensforareason

0 notes

ab-cogitation · 4 years

Text

I almost wanted to complain about how cold it is this morning, But I don’t have a reason to, because truthfully, I’m happy to be back home in Detroit.

Being here means to embrace all the Seasons and their temperament.

Sometimes the Sun shines and sometimes the Sun need a break, desiring hugs from Clouds. The Sun letting it’s many emotions eject as rain, lightning, snow or to simply seek refuge in the Cloud’s shadow.

See even the Sun knows when to be humble; to stand down, take a step back and be behind the scenes. Likely recharging, resurging then emerging from the night to lead the Moon back to her sanctury. Because the Sun knows that when it’s own inner glow is too bright, it too is blinded. Caught up in the lime lights and lemon drops that it rejects the idea of even lowering itself for recollections which indebted it’s riches. Riches being the fruit of it’s Spirit, its Light, it’s loathing and longing to be recognized beyond warming sensations.

Like how it kisses our skin, draws up sweat and get us in heat to BBQ, bike, bathing suits and seeing the details of one’s frame. A lust we often have no shame in sharing. It’s obvious with how we are staring. Hormones flaring. Emotions blaring like sirens. The kind of vibration that draws courage into hiding and on lookers to confiding with a God they often forget besides Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas. The inadvertently abuse emitted by the Sun is endless.

Which is why it often hide in Clouds us human call emotions.

Coming back home to Detroit has been just that; A Cloud of emotions. There’s a light in me that has been wired into us all, but quite frequently forgotten victories make us uncloth from our armor. Thus becoming susceptible to being sieged by every vice there is.

I learned this hard truth every time I handed out my still tattered Heart. Instead of bandaids and gauze pads with dressing, I opted to hold my Heart together using left over ribbon from holidays and coating it with Modge Podge and glitter.

I gift wrapped my shit, and stood back in the corner awaiting the receiver to be slapped with the element of surprise.

They thought I was perfect, because I’m pretty. Better yet they assumed that the tenderness in my words meant I would be hesitant to aim where it hurts— Accountability. Moreso towards myself, because people really believed the inner Peace I speak so freely of came without consequence. People really thought that I don’t go through things or make mistakes. Yes I’m prone to a fuck up or 10, but I view this shit as lessons given I choose to be a student.

Like….

Returning home to Detroit from Phoenix with the same amount of money I left with ($150) humbled the fuck out of me, but engulfed me to shame more than any feeling. I were under the impression that I were supposed to return with a lot more money and mantras they recited the spiritual journey I embarked on in the West Coast.

I were supposed to come back feeling like that bitch, but being broke to the point all of my mom friends had to join their coins together to get my ass back to Detroit. Which I’m grateful for that. Totally grateful. Super appreciative and thankful that they came through for me minutely, because I were days away from being put out of my apartment.

Why?

Love.

I thought I found Love in a man who was deep in a union with his childhood issues, manic anger and addiction to cigarettes and meth..

Yes… Meth.

But I tried to Love him anyway. I tried to support him anyway. I tried to make sure every morning was greeting with hot breakfast and sucking his dick on the whim so he’d never feel inclined to ask.

I tried to treat that nigga like a King. A God maybe. I saw beyond his conflicting ass flaws and sought a treaty with his Potential. I tried to nurse his symptoms from withdrawal by diving deep into studying herbs and tantric touches.

I tried to support his moves, no matter how mediocre, by investing in his aesthetics and trying to connect the many dots he failed to revisit.

I tried to Love this man. Be the mother he wished he had. Be the Lover he claimed never existed and be the light, the Sun to conquer his darkness.

I tried so damn hard to be what this man needed that the absence of reciprocity made me bitter. Damn near resentful, not vengeful, but definitely irrational from still keeping him around until he decided to leave cuz the well ran dry; both my pussy and pockets.

How about my sense of self worth?

I let the Sun in Phoenix illuminate a light in me to the degree I were blinded by my own insecurities.

How did I end up so desperate? Breaking my contract with Celibacy? I mean.. Ya girl was 1 year and 4 months in without dick. I were craving a booty rub, but what I wanted was Love. I wantrd to be celebrated and honored in the same fashion as our ancestors honored the Sun and now rever the Son of God named Jesus.

I felt saving this man would equal out our yolks as he unknowingly saved me from being lost in my own darkness. He saved me from loneliness just by being there. His company and conversation alone was enough until that shit became arguments, and drove me away from being at my own apartment— my name on the lease; my money paying the bills; my money putting in groceries; yet he somehow would get an attitude when I returned home too soon to MY place… A place that never felt like my own until he left.

That’s when the weight loss journey took place.

After walking my son to school in the morning, I would walk around the neighborhood with my headphones on. Taking in the scenic sunrise, the mountains and the buzz from busy commuters.

Hike, Hike, Hike

Hiking up North Mountain

Strolling around the water Basin on 10th St

I learned of parks and cool ass places in my neighborhood I didn’t know existed. I started testing out my photography skills. I tried my hand as running around the water basin and sitting on bare land with insects under trees.

I began to adopt the diet of the hummingbirds around me; seeds, nectar from flowers, berries and water.

I observed all the plants, trees and flowers around me. Absorbing their divine nature to get an organic understanding of how I want to be; rooted, budding and blossoming, letting the beauty of my essence be conceived.

Unsure of what this plant is, but it smells good as gawk!

More importantly, I cultivated a relationship with the Sun whom really shed light on who I AM.

Sunrise in North Phoenix

Taking the information downloaded home to create vision boards, a plant based diet and staying in the Rhythm with God through dance, yoga and prayer.

My vision board and cluster of craft supplies that I still regret leaving behind.

Introspection, solidarity and manifesting some shit.

It was through these regimens, practices and form of worship that enabled me to cope with being alone. I had to deal with heartbreak and anger. I had to master the emotions of grief and guilt. I had to really take the time to learn and LOVE ME.

Who I AM…

Phoenix was chosen as a healing space given that it was revealed in my name interpretation rendered by BlaqFire Nation. In my birth name, Ashley, rising from the ashes like the Phoenix is said to be apart of my story in this lifetime. Given that prior to my decision to flee Detroit I endured the death of my mother, were exposed on social media for something personal, and learning that I’ve been my baby daddy’s side bitch all these years, I were in a dire need to escape. And since I were too chicken to commit suicide after contemplating the shit over and over, relocating suited best.

And I dipped out Detroit with $150 and my son who was 4 years old at the time on a mentally excruciating three days on the Greyhound.

The rest is the journey of The Alchemist, which is also the title of a book recommended by a great friend of mine.

It was a parable that spoke to me, because much like the character, Santiago, I too were on a quest to find my treasure and love. I also communicated with the wind, the rain, the Clouds, and the Sun, which all led me to speaking with God.

That is when I learned that the treasure I dreamed of could only be discovered at home, in Detroit…

And I have located that treasure.

It was ME all along. It was ME that I found.

So while I don’t possess the material monetary shit that society says define who my status, I own something greater, more profound and infinite—It is the realization that I can only save myself. It’s a knowing that regardless of who or what I encounter, I only have control over me and that is more than manageable.

So while I wanted to complain about the cold weather, grey skies and the Sun playing hide n seek with a nigga after being spoiled in a city where the Sun shines boastfully 300 days a year, the coldest it get is 40 degrees at night during winter month (yes literally a month of cold), and no snow? I ALMOST wanted to regret returning.

You see what comparison does right? It generates a divide in the spectrum, thus taking away the Light that all is worthy of experiencing. Shit even the darkness want to be enveloped in the Sun’s grace.

The Sun… I’m so grateful for it’s solar power. It’s a star that’s assisted with my personal evolution. It’s been the formula to my countless issues. Being in the Sun, feeling the Sun; gazing at the Sun; it’s been my saving grace. Interesting how the simple things, most of which is taken for granted, become the epitome of our healing. Much gratitude to the TRUE SUN of GOD.

Had I not left Detroit, who knows where I’d be mentally…

Can’t ponder on the hypotheticals tho as they’ll strip away where I AM NOW.

Speaking of now… I went from 190 lbs to a solid one fiddy.

I had a great solo Hot Girl Summer. Bike riding, river running and being grounded by Mother Earth to be refined in feminine energy.

The journey continues….

#ABCogitation

Heartbreak and the Sun Saved Me: A Narrative on why I Returned to Detroit I almost wanted to complain about how cold it is this morning,But I don't have a reason to, because truthfully, I'm happy to be back home in Detroit.

#addiction #alchemist travels #detroit #Healing #heart chakra #inner peace #Losing a parent #Mental Health #phoenix #pisces #self love #weight loss journey

0 notes

foursprout-blog · 6 years

Text

18 Uncomfortable Things You Need to Do If You Don’t Want to Regret 2018

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/18-uncomfortable-things-you-need-to-do-if-you-dont-want-to-regret-2018/

18 Uncomfortable Things You Need to Do If You Don’t Want to Regret 2018

When you look back on the past year, don’t think of the pain you felt. Think of the strength you gained, and appreciate how far you’ve come. You’ve been through a lot, but you’ve grown a lot too. Give yourself credit for your resilience, and then step forward again with grace.

The next best step forward?

Doing something uncomfortable that will move your life forward. Let me explain…

Almost two decades ago, when I told my grandmother I was worried about taking a chance and regretting my choice, she hugged me and said, “Trust me, kiddo, that’s not what you’re going to regret when you’re my age. If anything, you will likely kick yourself for not taking more chances on the very real and accessible opportunities you have today.” And the older I get, the more I realize how right she was. Life is about trusting yourself and taking chances, losing and finding happiness, learning from experience, appreciating the journey, and realizing that every step is worth it.

But (and this is a big “but”)… you have to be willing to take each step. You have to give yourself a fair chance. Because in the end, more than anything else, we regret the chances we didn’t take, the relationships we were too busy to nurture, and the decisions we waited too long to make.

Think about it…

The big opportunity you procrastinated on. That friend you never called. Those important words you left unspoken.

You know what I’m talking about.

But why?

Why do we do these things to ourselves?

Why do we make so many regretful decisions along the way?

In most cases the poor decisions we continuously make, and the ensuing regrets we face, are caused not by physical problems in our lives, but instead by common weaknesses of the inner mind—weaknesses that encourage us to avoid discomfort.

Discomfort is a form of pain, but it isn’t a deep pain—it’s a very shallow one. It’s that feeling you get when you’ve stepped outside of your comfort zone. The idea of exercising every morning, for example, brings discomfort—so we don’t do it. Eating green vegetables brings discomfort too. So does meditating, or focusing on a difficult task, or saying no to others. Of course, these are just examples, because all of us find discomfort in different things at different times, but you get the general idea.

The bottom line is most of us don’t want to be uncomfortable, so we subconsciously run from discomfort constantly. The problem with this is that, by running from discomfort, we are forced to participate in only the (easy) activities and (unexciting) opportunities within our comfort zones. And since our comfort zones are relativity small, we miss out on most of life’s greatest and healthiest experiences, and we get stuck in a debilitating cycle that often leads to regret.

Turning Things Around in 2018

Are you tired of dealing with the same types of headaches and heartache over and over again?

Then it’s time to break the cycle, purge some bad habits, and embrace discomfort as you prepare for the year ahead. It’s time to learn from your mistakes rather than be conquered by them, and let your errors be of commission rather than omission.

Remember, you ultimately become what you repeatedly do. If your habits aren’t helping you, they’re hurting you. Which means it’s time for a change.

Here are 18 uncomfortable things to start doing for yourself in the year ahead…

Challenge your understandings and certainties. – Life’s richness does not come from always residing within familiar territory. It’s when you venture out, away from the familiar, that you grow stronger and more capable. You must hold tightly to your core values while at the same time opening your heart and mind to new ideas, feelings and experiences. Your own perspective will become clearer when you look at things from different angles. Find ways to provide a healthy challenge to your current understandings of life, and you will discover and experience far more of life’s magic in the year ahead.

Track how you invest your energy and make productive shifts. – To attract better outcomes in life, you have to become better on the inside. Again, you can’t do the same things and expect change. You can’t blame someone else. Take full responsibility for the next step. Start transforming your mindset. Start upgrading your habits. Your life is 90% your choice! Seriously, don’t settle! Don’t exchange what you want most for what’s easiest at the moment. Study your agendas and routines closely. Figure out where your time goes, and remove needless distractions. It’s time to focus on what really matters.

Work diligently and consistently on meaningful goals. – When you focus your heart and mind upon a purpose, and commit yourself to fulfill that purpose through small daily steps, positive energy floods into your life. Sadly, many of us miss the mark. A few years ago when the Guardian asked a hospice nurse, Bronnie Ware, about The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, one of the most common regrets she noticed was that people regretted not being true to their goals. In fact, she said that most of the people she cared for admitted to not honoring even half of the goals that were meaningful to them, and so they ended up dying with regrets. Let this be your wake-up call! Good health brings a level of freedom and opportunity very few of us realize until we no longer have it. As they say, there are seven days in the week and “someday” isn’t one of them.

Do the hard things. – Lose the expectation that everything in life should be easier. There are rarely shortcuts to any place worth going. Enjoy the challenge of your achievements. See the value in your efforts and be patient with yourself. And realize that patience is not just about waiting, it’s the ability to keep a good attitude while working hard on your important goals. It’s knowing deep down that doing the hard things is worth it. Why? Because those are the things that ultimately define you. Those are the things that make the difference between existing and living—between knowing the path and walking the path—between a life of mediocrity and a life filled with progress and fulfillment.

Study your mistakes closely and learn from them. – Disappointments and failure are two of the surest stepping-stones to the places you want to go. Don’t let a hard lesson harden your heart. When things go wrong, learn what you can and then push the heartbreak aside by refocusing your energy on the present step. Remember that life’s best lessons are often learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes. We must fail in order to know, and hurt in order to grow. Good things often fall apart so better things can fall together in their place. And what’s better already is the more informed step you’re able to take right now.

Choose a positive and effective response. – Happiness doesn’t start with a relationship, a vacation, a job or money. It starts with you. If you want life to be happier, you need to be mindful of your present response. It’s how you deal with stress in each little moment that determines how well you achieve happiness in the end.

Directly confront the thoughts that worry you. – A tiny part of your life is decided by completely uncontrollable circumstances, while the vast majority of your life is decided by how you respond to them. Whenever our Getting Back to Happy course students and Think Better, Live Better conference attendees come to us feeling down about a life situation they can’t control, we typically start by reinforcing the hard truth: sometimes changing your situation isn’t possible—or simply not possible soon enough. But you CAN always choose a mindset that moves you forward. And doing so will help you change things from the inside out, and ultimately allow you to grow beyond the struggles you can’t control at any given moment. Here’s a powerful question that will support you with an attitude adjustment when you need it most: Who would you be, and what else would you see, if you removed the thought that’s worrying you?

Learn to be more human again. – Don’t avoid eye contact. Don’t hide behind gadgets. Smile often. Ask about people’s stories. Listen. You can’t connect with anyone, including yourself, unless you are undistracted and present. And you can’t be either of the two when you’re Facebooking, Instagramming or Snapchatting your life away on your smartphone. You just can’t! If you are constantly attached to your smartphone and only listening with your ears as your eyes check for the next social update, you are ripping yourself off of actually experiencing real relationships and real life. The same is true for texting too. Yes, someday you will be slapped with the reality of a missed MEMORY being far more unsettling than a missed TEXT!

Be strict about making time for the right people. – At some point, when it comes to relationships, you’ll just want to be around the few people who make you smile for all the right reasons. So be intentional about spending more quality time with those who help you love yourself more. And remember that nothing you can give them will ever be more appreciated than your sincere, focused attention—your full presence. Truly being with them, and listening without a clock and without anticipation of the next event, is the highest form of compliment.

Choose yourself, too. – You won’t always be a priority to others, and that’s why you have to be a top priority to yourself. Learn to respect yourself, take care of yourself, and become your own support system. Love yourself first and foremost every day, instead of simply loving the idea of other people loving you. Your needs matter. Start meeting them. Don’t wait on others to choose you—choose yourself! And remember that once your needs are met, you will be better equipped and capable of meeting the needs of those few people who matter most to you. (We discuss this in more detail in the “Self-Love” chapter of our book.)

Invest in your health. – There’s no getting around it: no matter how much you think you dislike exercise and healthy eating, both will make you feel better in the long run. If you don’t have your physical energy tuned up, then your mental energy (your focus), your emotional energy (your feelings), and your spiritual energy (your purpose) will all be negatively affected. In fact, did you know that recent studies conducted on people who were battling depression showed that consistent exercise combined with a healthy diet raises happiness levels just as much as Zoloft? Even better, six months later the people who participated in this exercise were less likely to relapse because they had a higher sense of self-accomplishment and self-worth.

Walk away from the drama you feel inclined to engage in. – Say less when less means more. Sometimes, you are as wise as the silence you leave behind, because sometimes the right words aren’t words. Deep down you know this is true. Live accordingly. Do your best not to judge other people, for you do not know their pain or sorrows. If you cannot speak a kind word, say nothing at all. And if they cannot speak a kind word, say nothing at all. Enjoy the inner glow you get from letting go and not engaging in drama. When you no longer waste your energy worrying about things that don’t evolve you, everything gradually changes. You stop doing the wrong things, and the right things suddenly have a chance to catch up with you.

Say “no” when you need to. – Saying “yes” to everything puts you on the fast track to a regretful existence. Feeling like you’re constantly busy and overwhelmed is typically the result of saying “yes” to too often. We all have obligations, but a healthy, effective pace can only be found by properly managing your yeses. So stop saying “yes” when you want to say “no.” You can’t always be agreeable; that’s how people and situations take advantage of you. Sometimes you have to set clear boundaries.

Distance yourself from hurtful relationships. – One of the absolute hardest parts of loving someone: you have to give things up because of them. And sometimes you even have to give them up. Of course, it’s difficult to distance yourself from someone you care about (or cared about) without getting hurt in the process. Even if this person has hurt you a hundred times, you start thinking of all these “what ifs”—these “maybes” about the future. But that’s just the thing, there’s nothing concrete and reliable about these fantasies. The reality of this person’s consistent actions has disproven them. When someone shows you their true colors time and time again, it’s best to believe them and distance yourself. (We discuss this in more detail in the “Relationships” chapter of our book.)

Forgive the people who don’t necessarily deserve it. – Distance yourself, but don’t forget them; forgive them. Forgetting about the people who hurt you is your gift to them; forgiving the people who hurt you is your gift to yourself. Let this sink in. You need to forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness at the moment, but because you deserve peace of mind going forward. And also keep in mind that some relationships will temporarily split, only to heal and grow back together over time. Forgiveness alone makes this possible, if it’s meant to be.

Find joy in less. – People who spend all their time trying to make money, spend all their money trying to make time. Don’t do this to yourself. Remind yourself that the richest human isn’t the one who has the most, but the one who needs less. Wealth is a mindset. Want less and appreciate more today. Challenge yourself to be less impressed by the things you own, and be more impressed by the life you live. You are incredibly fortunate to be experiencing this moment right here, right now. And the more you appreciate it, the better it will be. (Read Soulful Simplicity in the New Year—we read an advance copy and it’s a true game-changer.)

Say “goodbye” so you can say “hello.” – Learn to trust the journey, even when you do not understand it. When people and circumstances close their doors on you, it’s a hint that your personal growth requires someone different and something more. Life is simply making room. So embrace your goodbyes, because every “goodbye” you receive in life sets you up for an important “hello.”

Start over again, and again. – No one wins a game of chess by only moving forward; sometimes you have to move backward to put yourself in a position to win. Think about how this relates to your life. Sometimes when it feels like you’re running into one dead end after another, it’s actually a sign that you’re not on the right path. Maybe you were meant to hang a left back when you took a right, and that’s perfectly fine. Life gradually teaches us that U-turns are allowed. So turn around when you must! There’s a big difference between giving up and starting over in the right direction. And there are three little words that can release you from your past mistakes and regrets, and get you back on track in the year ahead. These words are: “From now on…”

A Daily Challenge for 2018

I sincerely hope you found value in the reminders above. No doubt, they are important to think about. But right now, with 2018 literally knocking hard at the door, these reminders are even more important to act upon. And since taking action is where most of us get hung up, let me ask you a few quick questions…

How many times in the past year has the psychological draw of comfort plagued your best intentions?

How many workouts have you missed in the past year because your mind, not your body, told you that you were too tired?

How many workout reps have you skipped in the past year because your mind, not your body, said, “Nine reps is enough. Don’t worry about the tenth”?

In the past year alone the answer to all three questions is probably dozens for most people, including myself. And obviously these questions can be slightly tweaked and applied to various areas of our lives too. The bottom line is that weakness of the mind combined with lack of action devastates our potential. When we avoid discomfort, nothing worthwhile gets done. And the only way to fix this predicament is daily practice.

Your mind needs to be exercised to gain strength. It needs to be worked on a daily basis to grow. If you haven’t pushed yourself in lots of small ways over time—if you always avoid doing the uncomfortable things—you’ll almost certainly crumble on the inevitable days that are harder than you expected. (Note: Angel and I build small, uncomfortable, life-changing daily habits with our students in the “Goals and Growth” module of Getting Back to Happy.)

So, my challenge to you in 2018 is this:

Choose to go to the gym when it would be more comfortable to sleep in. Choose to do the tenth rep when it would be more comfortable to quit at nine. Choose to create something special when it would be more comfortable to consume something mediocre. Choose to raise your hand and ask that extra question when it would be more comfortable to stay silent. Choose to stand your ground when it would be more comfortable to fit in. Just keep proving to yourself, in lots of little ways every day, that you have the guts to get in the ring and wrestle with life. And reference the list of 18 above anytime you feel like you’re slipping off track.

Your turn…

Please leave a comment below and let us know:

Which point above resonates the most with you right now?

Anything else to share about this article, or your plans for 2018?

We would love to hear from YOU.

Happy holidays! 🙂

Also, our next annual Think Better, Live Better conference is taking place February 10-11, 2018 in San Diego. A few tickets are still available today (while they last).

#Happiness

0 notes

foursprouthappiness-blog · 6 years

Text

18 Uncomfortable Things You Need to Do If You Don’t Want to Regret 2018

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/18-uncomfortable-things-you-need-to-do-if-you-dont-want-to-regret-2018/

18 Uncomfortable Things You Need to Do If You Don’t Want to Regret 2018

The next best step forward?

Doing something uncomfortable that will move your life forward. Let me explain…

Think about it…

The big opportunity you procrastinated on. That friend you never called. Those important words you left unspoken.

You know what I’m talking about.

But why?

Why do we do these things to ourselves?

Why do we make so many regretful decisions along the way?

Turning Things Around in 2018

Are you tired of dealing with the same types of headaches and heartache over and over again?

Remember, you ultimately become what you repeatedly do. If your habits aren’t helping you, they’re hurting you. Which means it’s time for a change.

Here are 18 uncomfortable things to start doing for yourself in the year ahead…

A Daily Challenge for 2018

How many times in the past year has the psychological draw of comfort plagued your best intentions?

How many workouts have you missed in the past year because your mind, not your body, told you that you were too tired?

How many workout reps have you skipped in the past year because your mind, not your body, said, “Nine reps is enough. Don’t worry about the tenth”?

So, my challenge to you in 2018 is this:

Your turn…

Please leave a comment below and let us know:

Which point above resonates the most with you right now?

Anything else to share about this article, or your plans for 2018?

We would love to hear from YOU.

Happy holidays! 🙂

Also, our next annual Think Better, Live Better conference is taking place February 10-11, 2018 in San Diego. A few tickets are still available today (while they last).

#Happiness

0 notes