#i really hope im being paranoid

[ezraphobicsoup]

can i please request a fun fact about anything ever

#i would like that that would be nice #this is an open request not necessary a specific target (i mean there is one person who will definitely see this (hello #sorry about all of this i think i’m slightly silly hoursing and also just exploding like i dunno #i am alright i’m just also uaaaaaaaaaaaa #i hope you’re alright too i yeah i hope you are ok (this is me being paranoid #not because of you it’s a hormones thing i think cause this is just the feeling) #(man this was supposed to be a non specific post fuck ok oh well) #what was i saying anyway uhhhhh jonah is not the whale right??? i don’t think so im a fake jonah and the whale fan i’m sorry #i swear if it’s not even actually jonah like i’m not just getting confused with job and weezer my name is jonas am i #(like i say. i have no idea what i am thinking right now really i do slightly sorry that’s an exaggeration) #ok ending this ramble sorry everyone else that is not my girlfriend i don’t think she knows what i’m on about either here probably #i certainly don’t so if you can decipher this that’s very impressive #anyway anyway. fun facts !!!! #ezra’s real life rambles

[xannerz]

#everything is terrible. my mom's nosy and paranoid. her bp spiked so much yday she had to take her emergency pill for it. #ill be out of town starting tomorrow and im afraid to leave her. she's just. unreal rn. i messaged my aunt to keep an eye on her for me. #she keeps spiraling into actual anxiety/panic attacks bc she's convinced i've been influenced by predatory lesbians online #ik it sounds goofy but i hope i get hit by a truck so it's not really that funny to me bc i'm the one dealing with it #ive been considering asking if i can go on a brief leave of absence in jan but i'm already about to go on a week of pto. #idk what our general leave policies are and my family relies on my income so (: #im venting but i really do wanna die. i'm being hydraulically pressed into nothingness by my job and family lmao #xangoeswah

[todayisafridaynight]

One of my fave jackets is this green jacket with a fur hood im wearin rn because 1.) its green 2.) my dad gave it to me 3.) it reminds me of saejima. Who also reminds me of my dad

#snap chats #p sure i talked bout this jacket before but idc read my diary #sorry that every other middle aged man i see i say reminds me of my dad its a compliment #tbh love how i clowned on ichi for being on premium copium bout arakawa but highkey i woulda done the same bout my dad.. i get it ichi.. #anyway :) i legally get to talk about my day with him now :)) HE SAID THE FUNNIEST SHIT UPON SEEING ME #HE SAID ‘oh wow we dress similar :)’ and keep in mind. he was wearing a latte brown coat with a black turtleneck and pants and shoes #meanwhile. i approach With Black Pants And Shoes Admittedly but then im in this goofy old ass jacket with a red scarf #and a crane-decorated dress shirt that i got two buttons undone on like DAAD you are senile. hes so funny #so fun my dad actually recognized this was the jacket he got me- it was one of the first things he bought for me after i told My Secret 🙈 #also i finally asked how tall he was and i can’t believe my dad matches the criteria to be an rgg character he’s fuckin 6’1 like i thought #AH but today was really nice- i got to hang with my sis and her husband as well as my dad’s wife :) #it was awful tho cause the second my sis saw my dad’s outfit she’s just like ‘it’s so kdramacore’ AND SHES RIIIGHT 😭😭 #we later found out dad’s wife loves kpop…. and she bought him his new clothes…. so we are no longer surprised….. AWFUL. #honestly i could write a drama based off my dad’s life i really could it has elements for it. i mean ig i kinda do that already dont i #i borrow. anyways. today was fun :) even if i almost lost my mind trying to take the train the first time #this train system was weird… it wa worth tho it was great seein popop again #yeah….. ugh i have to still drive home from the station. and hope my car is still there #i get very paranoid leaving my car alone so openly i dont like it… #anyways. bye bye :) i might nap til my stop or work on a fic i started #‘snap what happened to’ dont worry about it i need to look at something else or ill scream #ok bye 👋

[hella1975]

for the first time EVER i have spent actual Big Bucks on jewellery and im so so excited about it. another bisexual win!

#like in the grand scheme of jewellery it is NOT big bucks at all #but for fucking agesssss now ive been moaning bc i like wearing rings AND i have several piercings #but i dont have ANY nice jewellery so im in perpetual green stains and just once i wanted to have actual nice jewellery #that i could wear again and again without feeling grubby #like does anyone else get hyperaware of the TEXTURE of cheap rings? i do it's like i can FEEL the metal getting into my skin #like i get super paranoid and start picturing it getting into my blood and poisoning me... haha... #it's v uncomfortable and i will avoid wearing jewellery altogether as a result despite how much i love wearing jewellery #BUT NO MORE!!! #i bought two rings that were £8 EACH one of which is from a really good brand that's known in the city for being affordable but good qualit #and that one is SUPER chunky and cool but also has the same rock in it that my grandad's ring had #and i have v complicated thoughts about my grandad but i ALWAYS loved his ring and it's weirdly comforting #but like i said. complicated. but in a nice way for once? #and i bought a single set of earrings for £10 which is. so silly to me #like tbf it's SIX earings for a tenner so it's still decent (again the good brand ones so no green ears for me!) #but i have thirds and will wear them as a single set so in my head it works out as £10 for one pair of earrings #if that makes ANY sense #but yeah! my hope is to just gradually build up my Good Quality rings until i have a collection of ones that i can wear daily #and still be comfortable AND hot #and im very much intending to keep this one earring set in for weeks like we're 4lifers now #okay so maybe this was a comfort thing but also a laziness thing lmao im just sick of constantly changing earrings #BUT YEAH!!! £26 ON JEWELLERY IN ONE DAY!!! EVERYONE CLAP THIS IS BIG FOR ME!!! #hella goes to uni

[dreamsy990]

okay normally i like mark rober but what the FUCK is this?????

#im really hoping this was staged #like!!!! they were causing almost NO disturbance #maybe im being unreasonable #but somehow i think dumping popcorn on someone because they were on their phone is worse than them BEING on their phone #also im just thinking like #i have a lot of anxiety and get paranoid very easily #especially in spaces like theaters #so i have a whole collection of puzzle games i play since they help me calm down #we dont know WHY they were on their phone #and either way i dont see why its an issue #so long as their brightness is low and theyre not disturbing people then i dont get the problem #am i wrong here tho???? #because i might be #but idk

[bluebellhairpin]

I'm giving everyone such big wet kisses tonight. I love you all so much. Your hair looks great. That dress is sexy. I love you. I'll buy you a drink the prosecco here is amazing. Try my lipstick on. God I love you. Music is bumpin. I saw a guy out there who had a friend who's a cowboy I'm going now. I love you. Conversation was fire my friend. Stay apathetic but cool. Remember to drink water. Much love to yee.

#you all are so cool #no wonder i can never talk to anyone alk my moots are all so OUT of my leauge omg #im always so paranoid im being annoying but omfg who cares #i care but thats not the point #the point is im so full of LOVE right now and i really hope the right people read this #the ones who need it most yk #i love you #nemos thoughts #mutual appreciation

[ei-mugi]

i realise that even tho its obvious what circles i associate with ive never explicitly said what my shipping views are. so. in light of being made aware of that google sheet blocklist ive edited my pinned to include my views

basically to say it here i dont ship anything thats incestuous or pedophilic & i avoid looking at fanwork depicting characters too much younger than me in pornographic contexts, because it makes me uncomfortable.

i will be honest i dont totally understand the anti vs pro ship debate (it seems like everyone has a different interpretation of it) but i am sure of my personal preferences so there they are

#i always get pretty paranoid about being ostracised over stuff haha #its happened so many times that people think just the way i TALK is weird or suspicious so they shun or bully me #that i get really worried about people misinterpreting me in general #so im hoping outright saying what my preferences are will avoid people jumping the gun and assuming im some freak haha #ive been spontaneously blocked/banned from places for less a bit too much to feel secure

[thanksfortheflaglove]

.

#have been an anxious lil piece of shit since my mother walked past/then in my room bc she smelled something- #this was yesterday btw .. first thing she said was 'u dont vape do u?' and i was like 'no' *queue john mulaney voice: like a liar* #ok well technically only on occasion like if i dont have w**d #anyway she steps into my room and starts fuckin sniffing around and goes 'it smells like .. weed 😐' and just looked at me and guys .. #i am the WORST but my mothers brother aka my gay uncle got kicked out when they were younger bc he smoked too and my mother has grown to #not be fond of it since . so BASICALLY i lightly gaslit her and was like 'mom. seriously ? 🙄' #bc we joke about it on occasion like she went to denver and came back with a fuckin pot that says 'a little pot from colorado' meant for #weed and in my head im like 😭 bro i could actually use this 😭 #so thats how we joke but obviously for me its genuinely funny bc of the irony but anyway . #my anxiety was so high after that bc i literally had my pen on me and i just left the situation and started petting my dog and filled up my #waterbottle trying to think of what the fuck i was going to do next but that was literally the end of that #(at least for now but i dont even want to jinx it) #to be proactive tho bc newsflash i do smoke! i got smart as shit and wrapped my smell proof combo bag to make it look like a gift for my #my friends when i go back to school so she wont think anything of it #and then put my pen old battery and vape in a box hidden away so i can still access them if i need but god DAMN #i was def just being stupid tho bc i forget when im at home i cant be so lax and rip the shit out of my pen with my door closed and no fan #anymore like 😐 u dumb fuck i was smarter at 16 with this shit #anyway. its definitely on me and im just mad at myself for it and hope it doesnt come up again/that she isnt overly paranoid with me like i #am with myself rn #also just for some more background my mom and i have never been super close but im really close with my dad but i love with my mom ? so #after this semester not just bc of this situation but i might be like. ive never had a room at dads and id like to at least for summer #and go from there. they just moved and its so cozy and id love to make my room mine over there for once even if it means moving in for abit #but the one thing that would absolutely break my heart is that my dog lives with my mom and its not like i couldnt still see her but i feel #like id feel guilty/like im abandoning her or something :'( #idk if anyone read this far pls lmk ur thoughts #oh and i work right by my moms so its not like i couldnt still visit her but it would break my heart #kylas thoughts #drugs /

[gundamlfrith-remade]

aaah fuck lol

#*gets scared* #literally always paranoid people wont talk to me about problems they have with me #doooopeople like. idk #im afraid of being unapproachable. i think i handle things well. if someone has a problem with me id hope they can just say it to me #speak the mind . bbh. god #feels really bad to be scared of this! #750 dispel

[dearingue]

you realize things are really bad when you realize that you are not getting rid of the frames that limit your mind but rather allowing your madness to seep in and keep you out of touch with reason

#im definitely not feeling okay #im sure that im dead #silly #lol #im too nervous #im paranoid #I'm tired of looking for symptoms of various mental illnesses #hoping #hoping that I can really be cured #i really need help im afraid of being insane i just want it to stop and be normal again #less than six months have passed and so much has happened #and now im scared of being laughed at #perfect #i hate everyone #i don't understand why do others hate me i do whatever i can to be the best i can be but nothing changes #im so sad #im tired of it #a year ago I said that I was full of love and mourned how they betrayed me and tore out my heart by stabbing me in the back #and now I

[transgaysex]

today was such a big anxiety day for me

#wind howls #not a fan #i think being around my parents for an extended amount of time is bad for my mental health. #i cannot wait to be in minnesota in two weeks. i hope they miss me so bad it makes them look stupid. #went to costco. it was a terrible experience (not particularly bad actually but it really badly overstimulated me i think) #and my parents wouldnt stop arguing and then being cool then arguing again and again and again except they didnt end on cool #so my mom (as usual) flaked out on an outing both my parents were supposed to go to bc shes mad at my dad #and it makes my dad feel bad and makes me anxious bc i hate when he drives to places on his own i get so anxious and paranoid #its truly great. i do not feel good but im really being so brave about it. im being brave. im being brave. im being so brave. #im being brave bc if i were strong i would start biting them but instead i am being brave. urgh.

[fishersquisher]

Muahahahhahahahaaa

#i feel like shes getting sick of me #or maybe shes just tired #her tones and texting styles are getting more bland and casual im a little worried about her #maybe im just being paranoid shes probably ok #maybe #bro i have nothing better to do than worry abour people constantly #i really am worried though i hope shes ok #vent #muahaha

[girl-bateman]

Ok I'm like 90% sure I've given myself a metacarpal fucking fracture 😀👊 and its on my right hand too 😭

most idiotic thing I've ever done god bless 🙌

#i literally cant do anything with my right hand i am FUCKED until this heals #good thing is that its a minor injury and most ppl dont have to have surgery #so ill just wait it out #but god it fucking sucks 😒😒😒 #lets all hope im being overly sensitive and paranoid and that tomorrow ill forget all about it and ill just be a lil bruised up #(the reason why i really do think its a fracture is bc in all other cases where my hand has gotten fucked) #(the pain only last for a couple of hours #maybe the rest of the night) #(but its never so bad i cant move it so thats whats having me worried ig) #anyways this is worse than when i gave myself a scar trying to iron my clothes while wearing them

[chqnified]

Knowing someone is there and will give you an honest opinion of a situation and will protect you. Is all you'll ever need.

#i told my partner is a passing joke what was happening at college #and they were sharp on picking it up. #confirmed my suspicion that I wasn't just being paranoid. something is genuinely off. #but i worried them. and i hate that. because they shouldn't be worrying about me when they have enough going on in their own life #i was a little emotional over how much they cared and were making sure i had a plan in place if something was to happen #and also in preventing anything from happening. #i hope we're both wrong. but. tbh. despite me not ever really bringing up everything to people i tell about him #they all say the same thing. 'prick' and ' #'dont trust him' #so after this. probably a reality check. #i dont want to believe it still. but nobody has ever said anything normal about the situation #sometimes it makes me think. am i twisting the narrative subconsciously? do other people who actually know him think the same #but idk. #im grateful that i have them. and that they are always there. #personal rambles tag

[luvyeni]

𐙚 : BOTH OF YOU BEING YANDERE FOR EACH OTHER ( reaction ) ֶָ֢ !

request: hi hi! Can you do enhypen yandere when there gf is also a yandere for them.

authors note. i hope you like it , i hope you don't mind that i just did the hyung line 😭🩷

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

𐙚 : HEESEUNG ֶָ֢ !

he's definitely more calmer than you are — if anything you have the most blood on your hands , and he's so in love and obsessed with you that he couldn't bare to see the love of his life go away, so he was often cleaning up your messages. "baby im home." he closed the door to your house , noticing the blood on the floor, sighing. "im in here." he heard you humming in the kitchen , you sounded so beautiful in his eyes , he felt like he was floating as he made his way into the kitchen. "hi baby." you smiled innocently , standing in the kitchen with his shirt on , covered in the blood, standing over a dead girls body. "what happened this time princess." you pouted. "i saw her dming you trying to get your number, so i lured her here." you said , like it was normal thing. "she made too much noise." he walked up to you, kissing your forehead. "good girl."

"how about you go clean up , let me handle this , then we'll order your favorite okay?"

𐙚 : JAY ֶָ֢ !

you were so obsessed with jay, that you often plagued with the thought of him leaving you so you often did things so he'd prove to you how much you loved him , where as jay, he's sadistic — meaning he'll kill any and everyone just to show you. "i-im sorry." the guy begged in front of you. "she came on to me." see jay didn't like that— granted he knew you probably did, knowing you often did this just to see how far he was willing to for you, but who was he to call his baby girl out , to even look your way and accuse. "really?" jay turned to, you pouted. "i might've, i can't remember." you shrugged. "see she can't remember so." the last thing you heard before the gunshot go off was the guys pleas. "now." your body ran cold, his hand coming up to your neck, squeezing. "how many times are you gonna do this?" you whimpered. "ju-just felt like you didn't love me anymore." you felt your airways being obstructed. "needed a remember." he nodded, unimpressed. "yeah , how about i show you." he dragged you to room.

"marry you , then keep you tied to the bed and fucked full of my children."

𐙚 : JAKE ֶָ֢ !

both of you are so obsessed with each other , neither one of you wanting to murder anyone , you'd rather stay in the comforts of your own home , snuggled together — so when the awful time comes where you have to go out , both of you would become so paranoid that one of you would run away, that you'd end coming up with the same method — drugging each other. "i don't want you to go baby , how about i go food shopping." jake said , but you were already losing it , because he went out last time and came home 10 minutes later— what was he doing? who was he with? "no jakey , it's okay i can go this time." you said taking a sip of the coffee he made you , putting the cup in the sink, your mind already feeling fuzzy. "jakey." he grabbed a hold of your shoulder , holding you up. "i know baby , you're sleeping it's okay." he dragged you to the room. "no." he shushed you , holding your hand , kissing your forehead. "when you get up , the food will be here and we can watch movie." he stood up , his vision suddenly getting hazy , before he dropped to the floor next to you , still holding your hand, both of you out cold.

you had drugged his coffee not only 5 minutes after he spiked yours.

𐙚 : SUNGHOON ֶָ֢ !

both of you are crazy for each other; it's almost like a competition of who can be the craziest over the other— sunghoon will win every single time, but that doesn't mean anything. "did i say you could do that?" sunghoon yanked your hair back , your face covered in blood as you look down at the girl on the floor. "did you ask me for permission last week when you killed that driver; besides this bitch deserved it, i told her to stop texting you." you yanked at his back, both of you covered in blood as you tussled around with each other , both of you fighting for dominance— sunghoon holding the knife up to your neck, pinning you to the wall. "i admit , you look hot like this." he smirked , pressing his knee in between your legs, you moaned as he moved his knee along your covered cunt. "but if you try this shit again with my permission, it won't be pretty." he said , pinning you down.

"i don't crazy you are , i'll kill us both."

©️LUVYENI

#kpop x reader #kpop smut #enhypen smut #enhypen x reader #enhypen reactions #enhypen hard headcanons #enhypen hard thoughts #enhypen scenarios #enhypen imagines #heeseung x reader #lee heeseung smut #jay park smut #jay park x reader #jake sim smut #jake sim x reader #park sunghoon x reader #park sunghoon smut

[fleshdyke]

shebejej

#dont read tags if ur uncomfortable w csa #i still cant fucking rememer who raped me. i cant remember how it happened or how old i was or anything about it #i know i was under 10. and thats about it #i remember pretty much nothing from my childhood save for a few vague memories here and there #which is super fucking helpful when im paranoid about who tf raped me #and im absolutely terrified they’re still in my life. i’m absolutely terrified they got someone else #because i guess im glad i can’t really remember it but like. i cant protect anyone else #i cant tell anyone who raped me or warn anyone or give them any sort of consequences bc i dont fucking know who it is #literally the only person i can think of is this one guy that worked at my daycare/kindergarten who was later fired for being a predator #and i fucking hope to god it was him bc i know he got consequences and he can’t hurt anyone else #but i have no proof it was him at all. it could be anyone #and thay fucking scares me so bad. what if they’re still in my life. what if they’re still hurting other kids and it’s my fault bc i didnt #say anything. im so fucking scared. #rambles #vent