#i only drew all this bc we watched lotr for the first time

[orderforbrian]

my personal hc is that martin forces jon to watch all of the films (extended version) like this:

[Start ID: 9 crudely drawn doodles of Jon and Martin from the Magnus Archives. Jon is a thin Persian man with shoulder length curly hair, a beard, and rectangular glasses. He's wearing a t shirt and sweatpants. Martin is a fat mixed Polish/Korean man with wavy hair kind of styled in a modern mullet. He's wearing browline glasses, a t shirt and sweatpants, and has a beauty mark under his lip. 1st image: Text says "Fellowship of the Ring (Extended Edition)" above Jon's head and he looks forward in horror. A line buzzes past him and cracks at the end, with the sound effect "glass shatters sfx". 2nd image: Jon attempts to get up but Martin's arm shoots in front of him. 3rd image: Close up of Martin from a downward angle, he looks down menancingly at Jon and says "Sit. Back. Down." You can see his breath as he says it. In the bottom corner, Jon has big dewy eyes that are pleading for mercy.

4th image: Martin is holding a crudely drawn gun to Jon's head as they sit on the sofa together, Martin has his other arm around Jon's shoulder and Jon looks mildly terrified and sweaty (mostly due to the impending film). 5th image: One half of Jon's face is shown, he apprehensively says "H-how long did you say this was...". 6th image: One half of Martin's face is shown and he blankly responds, "3 hours. I made popcorn...".

7th image: The film is presumably over. Jon looks deep fried, he has many creases under his eyes and his hair is a mess, an arrow pointing says his eyes are bloodshot. He proclaims with heavy sarcasm, "Wow! What a great movie!". He thinks to himself, "Jesus Christ, I'm glad that's over." 8th image: Martin smirks and says, "Hah! Just wait until the next one. It's a trilogy." In the bottom, Martin sits on the sofa with a fanged smile. Jon is laying on the ground in the Family Guy death pose with an artificially big butt. 9th image: Text above says "Return of the King (Extended Edition)". Martin has presumably made Jon watch all the movies at once. Jon looks like a husk of a dried corpse, he has creases all over his face and has a single hair sticking up from his head. Martin beside him says, "Yeah, that's one of the many interesting behind the scenes facts-". Jon exhaustedly replies "Cool". End ID.]

#i only drew all this bc we watched lotr for the first time #i had never seen it and leo has never watched it all the way thru (my adhd king) #so i think martin would nerd out about lotr #also he is samwise gamgee FR #cw gun #order up! art tag #jmart #jonmartin #the magnus archives #tma shitpost

[freebooter4ever]

i’ve seen the discussion going back and forth on boundaries and sexual objectification, and i don’t have much to add to the conversation other than to say everyone is allowed to determine their OWN ‘lines’ and just because we don’t vocalize them doesn’t make them any less valid. but here’s the limits i set for my blog if anyone feels it is important for them to know (<3):

personally I consider ‘characters’ fair game for anything goes, with ‘public personas’ a little more iffy. ‘RPF’ isn’t new - it just takes on a new more accessible/visible form nowadays. i remember reading my first fic about a ‘real person’ back in my LOTR fandom days - it was a story in first person perspective about the main character meeting orlando bloom on a plane before he was ‘famous’. like a lot of these types of stories, it wasnt so much about the person as it was about the meet cute. the actor was just a convenient placeholder with a handsome face and some personality quirks thrown in to make the romance/dialogue more specific. i personally dont read much xReader fic nowadays, but mostly only cause i’m an old fart who can’t relate to the ‘you’ format. i miss the good old days when people actually created OC’s and then inserted them into things LOL. but also LOL if you think i’ve gone an entire year of quarantine without some imagined personal fantasies of joe mazzello (or steve aoki in the years before)(ramilicious can attest to this. she can also attest to most of these fantasies ending in friendship rather than anything explicit cause that’s just how i roll these days lol). the line i draw is i would never post these types of fics in a place where the subject could accidentally find them - you have to go looking for this stuff on tumblr, most fics are given explicit ratings and under read-mores. with the blacklist tags it’s pretty easy to filter things out. its even easier to add filters to ao3 searches. i am NOT going to do something like message steve aoki and say ‘yeah i watched that movie Ibiza like five times, here is my 1k fic where you’re the dj and i’m the one night stand’. but obviously people still enjoy imagining scenarios like these otherwise movies like Ibiza wouldn’t exist?

for art, i consider anything already on display up for grabs, we all know a certain person’s ass is all over the place...all you have to do is google ‘need for speed’ and rami’s name. HOWEVER, in the case of actors i personally would not draw anything more explicit than what’s already there. i’m not gonna draw full frontal nudity for rami (unless he gifts us with it in a movie, i suppose) or anyone. this is 100% a personal choice for me. 

i was a sophomore or junior in college when i volunteered as a figure drawing monitor where i’d time the nude model’s poses and help them set up the stage and lighting and such. there was this one guy in his mid forties probably, a regular who came every week, and i always thought of him fondly till one day (the day after i ran into my Hot Programming TA during dinner and later sent him an email begging him to go on a date with me because i was desperate for kissing experience)(and Hot Programming TA emailed me back within minutes saying yes) this artist guy who i saw all the time and thought i knew fairly well, decided to draw me instead of the model. which would have been fine except he drew me naked. i was NOT naked at the time, i was wearing a shirt, and a bra, and a full prairie skirt with alternating calico and floral patterns. he drew what he imagined was underneath all that. he came up to me after the figure drawing session and showed me his drawings and told me i had been ‘glowing’ and my response was to laugh it off awkwardly and get the hell out of there as soon as i gave the model their pay check. but inwardly i was thinking a) i was NOT glowing for this creepy man twice my age and b) i did NOT give him consent to sexualize my body under my clothes and then SHOW me that objectification. i never said anything to him or anything else, i continued to be the monitor, and i continued to field off creepy advances from him including multiple job offers, but when i finally realized i could just...stop..and i passed the student volunteer monitor job on to my friend naeem, i also realized that what that older male artist did was NOT ok in my book. and it was probably not something he would do while naeem was monitoring.

nowadays im working in an industry that regularly objectifies female bodies. in the past year alone i have had to deal with requests to make breasts bigger, i have been given character rigs that in addition to the usual elbow, knee, and spine joints also have ‘nipple’ joints but ONLY for the women (to make them jiggle for animation), every time i send out a female pose i get it back with notes that push it further into the sexy type of body language reserved for women (twist the spine more! sway the back more! give it ‘energy!’), i have been told to erase wrinkles and fat and pores but ONLY for the women (men you ADD pores bc realism! and manliness!) and this is all me working for a company that is actually fairly progressive in terms of sexism compared to OTHER studios.

like it or not, sexual objectification is a huge part of specifically women’s lives and how we react to that is our business. for me, turning the tables and putting men on display feels like fair’s fair. i cant stop the men from doing it, so if i want to enjoy sexualizing male bodies, damn it im gonna! like dang it, boy do i want to send steve aoki a thank you note every time he posts a video of himself doing those ice baths during the sunset golden hour bc holy shit gorgeous or working out in his gym wearing VERY little clothes, but i dont because i know what its like when someone imposes their personal fantasies on the subject. or, god, there was that time i had to unfollow nicole’s insta for a while bc i had a very explicit dream about her and realized, shit, i need to take a break and get my emotions under control before i can refollow. and god some of the stuff i see dudes sending her during her live videos on mental illness/meditation is TOTALLY gross and not something they should be confronting her with. and she’s not even ‘famous’ famous. or how some fans send their idols explicit direct messages without consent. THAT feels inappropriate to me.

a part of me feels like i shouldn’t have to defend this. men don’t. they’re even encouraged in mass media to sexualize women. but i also recognize the importance of talking about consent. the importance of recognizing that a celebrity deserves to have their boundaries respected. these are my lines in fandom. other people have different lines they won’t cross, and that’s okay to me. i block or blacklist any blogs or tags i think go over the top.

heck, even in fandom-only spaces i still try to keep my own more sexual fantasies off this blog and only in private messages with my friends and mutuals, and i feel like that might come across as unintentionally prudish or judgmental sometimes. i’m not ‘horny on main’ very often. but like...every time i reblog that particular ‘washing machine’ gif of joe mazzello am i thinking about him naked and thinking about how he’s got very loooooong feet, and ‘gee i wonder if that means /other/ things are Too Big for my tastes’ but also ‘gosh wouldnt that make a pretty picture to draw’???? hell yeah.

i dont know who is gonna actually read this essay but yolo i guess :)

#journal shit

[period-dramallama]

Spanish Princess episode 6: my tired chronological thoughts

Say it with me now: “previously, on the Spanish Princess!”

-Is it just me or is tsp!koa sympathetic in this episode? 

-charlotte was actually acting really well in the first scenes. I really felt for her. Probably because she wasn’t spouting any stupid dialogue. 

-SO WE’RE JUST GOING TO FORGET ABOUT BABY STEALING HUH

-i wish i could forget

-”Cardinal Wolsey has been speaking with your daughter” if More and Maggie are now Mary’s adopted co-parents, can Wolsey please be the cool uncle?

-Please can we have wolsey speaking to mary in the fawning tone he uses with Henry and Mary’s just like...unimpressed.

-I will say this for tsp!koa, she does give good Hugs

-Yet again, Thomas More is babysitting the girls. While it’s good that Mary has adopted parents, it’s only sadder given her biological dad will execute both of them.

-it is actually historically accurate to have maggie p looking after Mary, she was Mary’s governess IRL, IIRC.

-also you wouldn’t leave the princess with just one person. She’d surely be supervised by at least 2 people, in case like one person had a heart attack or smth.

-PLEASE go back to calling her Lady Pole. AND GIVE THOMAS MORE TO DO

-”it will all come to nothing” sounds like something that WON’T come to nothing

-and now Henry and Wolsey have had a lover’s quarrel, they are such boyfriends they even quarrel like boyfriends.

-’summit’ sounds too modern

-Are Angus beefburgers named thus because of hard Meg roasted him this episode?

-”I wasn’t expecting to see you” yeah bc wasn’t the Field just F and H? 

-The cinematography was great last episode, and now we have weird close ups on the riot ringleader’s face. Why. I can practically see his saliva. Yum.

-Someone else got to the “Wolsey whispers like David Attenborough” joke first.

-What is that weird af flooring? It looks like they stole it from the set of Rivendell in LOTR.

-No dancing? No revels? No tongue in cheek allusions to Glastonbury or Woodstock? This Field feels more like parent’s evening at school.

-I’m now certain Flodden swallowed the budget whole and it was not worth it.

-”we are being threatened” “they drew a gallows in pig’s blood” This is so frustrating. You didn’t need Lina to spell it out for the audience. It would have been so much more suspenseful if you just saw the drawing, and then Lina’s terrified face, and we cut to the next scene. But you think the audience is so dumb we won’t realise a gallows drawn in blood is a threat? GTFO. And stop making Lina state the obvious!

-How good is Rosa’s hubby at his navigator job if they’re wearing brocade at a royal summit?

-To be fair to the show, “she’s only six years old,” is said by Rosa, not Catherine, and Rosa has been living outside England, so easy mistake.

-I like the compass gift, that was cute.

-Maggie watching the shadow play reminds me of the shadow puppets her mother and aunt played with in twq :’)

-THE WINE FOUNTAIN YES I CAN SEE THE WINE FOUNTAIN i was worried we wouldn’t see it

-I misheard Rosa and thought she called Buckingham Aardvark instead of Edward. I will now call him Aardvark. Yes I am very mature.

-I get that Wolsey is meant to be the Bad Guy, but he was literally just standing there with his wine, doing nothing. Stop shouting at him, Aardvark, YOU walked into HIM.

-”raise the price of ale” do you have any idea how much ale people were drinking in this period, Henry? That’s like the government putting up the price of water. You raise the price of ale and you’ll make the unrest worse. 

-People have been discussing Bessie’s behaviour, I think the issue is classism rather than xenophobia, cause she's worried for Lina and Oviedo and their kids but they’re servants of the crown, like she is, so they’re not ‘riff raff’, and she’s also dismissive of the rioters and wants “order restored” she said “heads on spikes” but I assume the heads are the rioters’ heads. Idk, either way the dialogue is clunky and stupid and this whole plotline is badly handled anyway and i do not care enough to rewatch that scene. 

-given how rude Francois was to Mary, IN PUBLIC, I kinda love the idea of her taking the mickey out of him. and look at that, Reggie Pole’s silence finally has a plot purpose! Given that Reggie was Mary Tudor’s archbishop and right hand man, it’s kind of touching that they’re connected in this way.

-Twenty minutes left of episode and the Field is over. Le disappointment. 

-”he’s gone!” Oviedo, I get that you’re probably in shock but... are you honestly trying to do CPR on a man who’s been skewered with a sword. I love you, Oviedo, but you were holding the show’s single braincell and now you’ve dropped it. I’ll give you a pass if you genuinely panicked.

-wtf henry pole your mother will hear about this

-The climax was very emotional...but ruined by the fact it’s total nonsense. Everyone in this show continues to be a total idiot. FINALLY we can be finished with the “not loving Mary” BS that should have lasted no more than 1 ep, if you had to do it at all.

-To be fair to the show, Mary comes across to me at least as traumatised, not as a gleeful baby tyrant. She’s not happy about men getting executed

-”My father cuts their heads off” it would have been such black comedy if koa was like “No darling, he won’t cut their heads off. Beheading’s for rich people”.

-please tell me you’re not hanging them by trapdoor method. The trapdoor method was invented in the nineteenth century.

-”grant them mercy” dude you said “they can die without me watching” so they’re probably all dead by now. 

-”first time he’s agreed” I will give the show a tiny tiny benefit of doubt and say maybe they mean this particular pope?? Actually scrap that they probably mean all popes.

-This should have been Thomas More’s time to shine, IRL he was involved in the govt response to Evil May Day, (I think he even addressed the mob to get them to surrender to the king) which I assume this riot is based off of. But because he was also at the Field, and the showrunners forced these two events to happen simultaneously, the showrunners decided to keep him at the Field...doing nothing. 0/10. 

-some lovely choral singing this episode. 

#the spanish princess #i liked this ep more than ep 4 #but less than ep 5