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ladyreapermc · 4 years

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Fic: Without You (Keanu x Reader)

Summary: Part 4 of Always the quiet ones series. Keanu is gone and you have to deal with his absence and fixing your brandnew apartment on your own. Part 1 - Always the quiet ones | Part 2 - The Proposal | Part 3 - Dark Paradise

Author’s notes: Finally a new part of this series. I’m still in love with it, I promise. Feedback is always appreciated. I always want to know what you folks think!

Wordcount: 7115

Warnings: alcohol consumption; smut (masturbation; use of toys; dirty talk and squirting)

You woke up with soft lips pressing wet kisses all over the exposed skin of your shoulder, coarse beard tickling you, and making you smile against the goose feather pillow beneath your head.

Soft rays of sunshine warmed your body, trying to pierce through your closed eyelids but you refused to give in. You were cozy and comfortable, the only thing missing was the solid body next to you but you had a feeling that if you put a bit of effort, you could maybe convince Keanu to return to bed and sleep in a little longer.

“Come on, sweetheart. Time to get up. I know you’re awake.” The sharp slap on your ass made you jolt and yelp. Keanu’s deep and throaty chuckle making you glare at him. “I did try a nice way first.”

He pressed his lips to your pout for a quick kiss before he got up from the bed, revealing his attire of dark trousers and white button-down, not formal enough for meetings at Arch but not casual enough for a stroll in the city. Your gaze moved past him and you caught sight of his suitcase resting against the wall next to the empty closet.

You had forgotten Keanu would be leaving today. Or maybe you were in denial about the fact because this past week had been one of the best of your life and you didn’t want it to end. You had spent all your free time with Keanu, mostly in bed, talking and fucking and just getting to know one another a little better.

At first glance, Keanu had appeared to you as smooth and charming, completely in control of everything but as you spent more time together, you began to realize that, yes he was all that, as well as a genius, his interests varying from technology – as expected considering his company – to motorcycles, art, literature, cinema, and music. However, you were pleasantly surprised to realize that, once Keanu let that carefully constructed public image fade away, he was a complete, lovable dork.

It was in the way his eyes burned brighter with excitement when he was talking about the latest book he was reading or the wild hand gestures that accompanied. His awkward little laugh whenever he was unable to operate something simple like a coffee machine, or the outraged tone of his voice whenever you made him watch a movie or a show he didn’t like and Keanu was left to complain to you and the screen at the absurdity of the characters’ actions.

You were beginning to realize that the real Keanu was quite different from what he let out to the world and you were thrilled and touched that he was beginning to trust you enough to let you see this side of him.

You only feared that this was making it even easier for you to fall for him and you had to keep reminding yourself that this was mostly business and casual for him, so it should be the same to you. Maybe it was for the best that Keanu was leaving again, give you room to shield your heart instead of getting caught up in his spell.

“What time’s your flight?” You asked, stretching and yawning. Letting his gaze drink in your naked body.

You were starting to feel much more comfortable being completely bare whenever you were together especially because you never knew when Keanu might pounce you and ruin a perfectly good pair of underwear.

“In four hours,” he replied and you smirked, crawling closer to the edge of the bed, your face hovering inches away from his crotch as you looked up at him through your lashes.

“So we could stay in bed a little longer?”

“We could,” Keanu smirked down at you. “If someone didn’t have class.”He pulled away from you, walking over to the small sitting room of the master suite and you groaned in disappointment, getting up and putting on a shirt so you could follow him.

“I can skip it,” you said, humming appreciatively as the smell of coffee reached your nose. Keanu had ordered room service and food was already set on the dining table.

“You could, but you’re not going to.” There was a warning in his eyes and even if you knew he was just thinking about the best for you, you couldn’t help but pout. You wanted to spend a little longer with him. “Besides, I can’t stay. Apparently, I’m needed at Arch.”

Keanu rolled his eyes and pulled the chair for you, waiting until you were seated to push it in place and start serving you. It was kind of his thing, taking care of you like this even if you insisted he didn’t have to. Keanu just liked to do it and after a couple of days, you stopped arguing and just let him get his way, as he always did.

“Well, the branch is just starting, makes sense they rely a little more on you,” you reasoned and Keanu snorted as he poured your coffee: two sugars, just a splash of milk like you liked it, setting on your left.

“I pay these people a lot of money, so they don’t need to rely on me.” Keanu settled on his chair across from you once he had filled your plate, sipping on his coffee. “What I need is someone I can trust to oversee things for me, be my representative.”

“Maybe you should stay a little longer, find someone to fill that role,” you said, trying for a nonchalant tone but from the little smirk Keanu flashed over the rim of his cup, it didn’t go unnoticed by him.

“I really wished I could, but I have a lecture at MIT this afternoon, a conference in London in two days, and several meetings back in LA for the next three weeks.”

You knew that Keanu was a busy man, of course. Being CEO of one of the leading technology companies in the US took time and effort, still, you couldn’t help the pang of disappointment in your heart. This week, you had him mostly to yourself so you were going to miss not having him at all.

“I guess we’re going to have to learn to do this long-distance,” you said, managing a smile that didn’t really reach your eyes.

“That reminds me…” Keanu said, getting up and for the first time you noticed the dark paper bags on the couch. “I got you a few things.”

With a frown, you got up too and stood next to him as he unveiled the items. You gasped when you realized he just got you the most expensive laptop from his company, as well as an ARCHpad, one of those tablets everyone in your class seemed to have.

“Keanu, I can’t take this…” you said, even if your fingers were running over the smooth dark surface of the laptop, the sunken lines of the word ARCH in bright red making the device slick and modern.

“You can and you will,” he took a seat next to you on the couch, one arm around your shoulders as you explored the illuminated keys of the laptop. “I’ve seen that piece of junk you call a laptop and I’m surprised you can get anything done with a thing that old. Besides, having an ARCHbook will make it easier for you to sync up your account with your ARCHpad and phone.”

“I don’t have an ARCHphone,” you told him, and Keanu just smirked, reaching inside his pocket, and pulling a mobile. “Keanu, I…”

Before you could form a protest, he sealed your lips with his, distracting you with a searing kiss that had you burning with need for him.

“Ok…” you sighed against his mouth once he let you away for breath and Keanu grinned. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart,” setting the phone on your hands so you could explore it. “Just don’t let anyone take too close of a look. That model isn’t out yet.”

You nodded, still distracted by the device, noticing that it was already set up and there was only one name on its contact list: Keanu’s, along with one of the silliest looking ID pictures you had ever seen, which made you giggle.

“Seriously, I can’t thank you enough,” you said turning your attention back to him and finding him with another box in his hand and a big smile on his lips. “What’s that now?”

“Take a look,” he encouraged with a wiggle of his eyebrows and you tugged on the ribbon, untying the box before you could lift the lid.

“It’s a key,” you frowned in confusion and it took you a second to realize what that meant. “Oh my GOD! Is this…?”

“Yeah,” Keanu chuckled.

“So, I can…”

“Whenever you want,” he assured and you couldn’t contain yourself, you just climbed on his lap and pressed kisses all over his face, chanting your gratitude as he laughed. “One last thing and I promise I’m done.”

“You’re spoiling me,” you slowed your kisses, focusing on his lips now and making them longer, sensuous and you could already feel him hardening underneath you.

“That’s the point, sweetheart.” He lifted his hand by his head, a black credit card between his fingers and you knew what that was without even looking. “For furniture and other expenses as you settle in the new apartment.”

You hesitated in taking the card and you had no idea why. Keanu gave you an apartment, why a credit card linked to his account was the thing that gave you pause? Why taking his money made you guilty when you had been very willing to enjoy the nice, expensive things he bought you with it?

“I can hear you overthinking it,” he whispered, freehand coming to your nape to pull you closer and catch your mouth in another searing kissing that left you gasping and rolling your hips against him. “You don’t have to take it if you don’t feel comfortable with it, but if you don’t you’ll have to wait a month for me to come back and we can get that place furnished. Do you really want to wait?”

You didn’t and he knew it too. For this week, you had experimented the heaven that it was to have an actual comfortable place to live with plenty of space and without a noisy and annoying roommate. A place where you didn’t have to share a bathroom with several other people and you could study without anyone interrupting you or worrying about slow wi-fi or working hours.

You had had the taste of freedom and Keanu knew you weren’t ready to go back to the hell that was your dorm. So, you snatched the card from his hand with narrowed eyes at his little victorious smirk.

“You’re sure I shouldn’t skip my class and you shouldn’t tell everyone at Arch to fuck off?” you asked, lips brushing against his as you grabbed his hand and brought between your legs, to your soaked folds.

“No,” he heaved a sigh, biting your lip before he grabbed his phone and brought it to his ear. “Cheryl I can’t make it to the meeting. Just email me the issues and I’ll take a look at the plane.”

Keanu hung up before there was even a word out from the other side of the line, which made you smirk. Especially when he wrapped his arms tight around you and got up from the couch, your legs coming around his waist to give yourself some more support.

“You, young lady, are a bad influence,” he declared, walking back to the suite.

“I learned with the best,” you grinned, catching his lips in a new kiss.

You could feel the weight of the stares at your back as you made your way to the breakroom. After a week of coming and going from the presidential suite, everyone in the hotel knew about you and Keanu and the whispers and rumors started flying. You were trying your best not to let it affect you but it was hard when every time you stepped into a room, everyone fell silent making painfully obvious that you had been the topic of conversation.

Still, you only had to deal with it for another week since you had delivered your two weeks’ notice. You could handle some gossip for another week. It wouldn’t be enough to make you fall from your high of having a brand-new apartment and the shot of a better life for yourself

Leaned on the reception desk, you flashed a big grin at Maggie, showing her the key. Her eyes widened and she covered her mouth with her hands, muffling her little squeal of excitement, getting weird looks from one of the other receptionists.

“Already?”

“Yes!” you grinned, happiness brimming in your heart. “What time do you get out? We’re going to celebrate.”

“Seven.”

“Perfect!” you pulled one of the notepads closer, scribbling down the address before pushing it her way. “Just drop by when you’re done.”

“I’m so happy for you!” Maggie grinned wide and you could feel the sincerity in her tone and her eyes. She had been your first real friend in New York and supported you through thick and thin. You knew she would support you through this too.

You waved at her, walking out of the hotel with that silly grin in your lips, wide enough your cheeks were starting to hurt but you couldn’t help yourself. Things were really starting to brighten up for you and it was hard to disguise the relief and excitement. Maybe it wasn’t the way you have pictured, but was that so bad? Plans didn’t always happen how we imagine, but that doesn’t make it a bad thing, right?

You took a taxi to your dorm room, having way too much expensive stuff to risk taking the subway and as you strolled around campus you couldn’t avoid having a little spring on your step, giddiness filling your chest. You were almost hoping that your roommate was around so you could give her the finger as you left your personal hell.

However, she didn’t show up, so you had to settle for leaving a note while you hauled the two suitcases with your possessions, plus your backpack out of the dorm. You paused at the sidewalk just outside the building that had been your home for the last three years. They had been good years despite everything, but you weren’t going to miss it. Not when you knew what was waiting for you on the other side of the cab ride to Morningside Heights.

You rested your forehead against the cool window of the car, watching the city lights passing you by in flashes, excitement bubbling in your chest as the metal of the key heated up against your hand. You couldn’t let it go. It was the ultimate sign that your life would never be the same.

The cabbie parked by the front doors and helped you with your bags, leaving the doorman to take them inside for you while you paused by the front desk to sign up, all the documents needed in your phone.

Once all formalities were concluded, you could take the elevator to your apartment. No, penthouse. The giddiness growing as the numbers moved up and finally the polished metal doors slid open, revealing the well-illuminated hall with one solitary door.

With your suitcases resting by the wall, your hands trembled as you tried to push the key in the hole and you giggled like a kid at the click of the lock and the silent sway of the door, revealing the ample space of the living room, dark except for the dotted lights of the buildings all around you the came through the window panels.

You hesitated, wishing Keanu could be doing this with you, stepping inside your home for the first time. The thought was almost enough to deflate your entire mood, so you quickly shoved aside, taking your first step into your new life. This was it. This was your world now and you would be damned if you were going to let anyone stand in your way.

Flickering the lights on as you walked through the empty space, you took deep breaths, letting the smell of polish wood floors and gleaming new metal fill your nose. There wasn’t any furniture except for the kitchen cabinets and basic appliances, and you tried to imagine how each space would look as you walked around, hands touching the walls and windows.

You wanted a big dinner table and a long couch so you could always have people over and a chandelier – nothing too flashy – above to brighten up the room. You wanted the halls in a light shade of grey and the rooms white to soak up natural lights.

In the master bedroom, you wanted the bed to face the windows so you could always wake up to the sun rising in between the buildings, the orange hues of the sky turning blue as the sun brightened up. You also wanted a window bench so you could sit and read with the city as a background. Your work desk, however, couldn’t face the windows. You would get lost in the view.

Sitting on the duvet you spread on the ground in the exact place where you envisioned your bed, you let your mind wander with home design options and ideas until you heard the intercom and jumped to your feet, knowing Maggie would be waiting outside.

“Oh. My. God!” she said with round eyes as she shoved the sparkling wine in your hands and walked around the apartment. “Oh. My. God.”

You just chuckled, putting the bottle in the fridge and following as she explored the place. When she stepped on the terrace, her eyes grew even wider and her grin brighter.

“OH. MY. GOD!”

“I know!” you giggled covering your mouth. You couldn’t believe yourself just yet.

“I’m so happy for you, sweetie,” Maggie’s smile was soft and sincere as she drew you into her arms. “I really am. You’re one of kindest, good-hearted people I’ve ever met in this city and you deserve a good life.”

“Thanks, Mags,” you grinned, your eyes burning with the unshed tears. Your heart bursting with emotion. She really was such an amazing friend. “Let’s pop that bottle and order Chinese?”

“Fuck yes!” she cheered, following you back to the kitchen.

The days blurred together as they went by. You still had class every day and finished your two weeks-notice at last, which gave you plenty of free time. More than you knew what to do with. So you focused your energy on getting the apartment livable.

You took Maggie shopping for furniture. Your first purchase was a bed because your back was starting to hurt from sleeping on the floor. You got a king-size bed with padded headboard, bedside tables, and an office desk and chair because you were never good at working in bed without falling asleep or getting distracted. Next was the kitchen stuff you needed since you couldn’t live off takeout forever.

You never knew nice china and cutlery were that expensive. It was almost as if the uglier they got, the price went up, even more, to convince buyers it was worth it. Fortunately, you weren’t a moron, so you settled for plain white ones because you were planning to eat from them not put it on display.

Keanu was less than thrilled with your picks though, and everything you two video chatted and you showed your latest buy, he would get that look on his face that told you he was trying to pretend he didn’t hate it. Or when you sent a link of something you were planning to get, and he just shot it down in three seconds.

“Oh my God! You’re so pretentious,” you complained good-naturedly at your nightly chat as Keanu vetoed the couch you intended to by.

“It’s not being pretentious, sweetheart. It’s having a taste for the finer things in life,” he replied with a smirk, laying back on his luxurious bed in LA.

You could see dark sheets and an elegant bedframe of twisted metal in decorative loops. His torso was bare, and his hair curled slightly behind his ears, showing he had showered recently and let it dry naturally.

“You’re saying that just because your bed cost twice as mine…”

“A little more than twice,” he corrected, making you roll your eyes.

“Fine! Just because your bed cost an obscene amount of money, doesn’t mean it’s better than mine.”

“Ours,” he corrected again and this time, you smiled. “Our bed and yes, it does. I make sure to only get the best for my places and that penthouse isn’t going to be an exception.”

You mulled over his words, tapping your index finger on your jaw. Truth was, you did walk by Horchow and Modani that first day, but the posh looks of the displays and salesperson made you run to the familiar halls of Ikea. At least there you could blend in. Everyone went to Ikea and you still remembered the days that you walked between their products, picking the furniture for your dream house, which you were doing right now.

“You shouldn’t be afraid of dreaming a little bigger, love,” he smiled gently at you once you confessed that and that familiar warmth that you always felt when Keanu granted you that look, all soft and caring, filled your chest. Damn you missed him.

Saturday after your conversation with him, you were awakened by someone leaning heavily on the doorbell and when you finally managed to groggily drag yourself from your bed and pad barefoot to the open it, your apartment was invaded by a small entourage of overly energetic and sharply dressed people.

“He was right! It is perfect!” the man that seemed to be leading the party cooed, walking past you like you were part of the furniture as he admired the window panels and the morning light that filtered through it.

“I’m sorry, but who the hell are you?” you asked after a moment of watching them scattering around your place, browsing through everything, measuring tapes coming out every once in a while.

“Didn’t Mr. Reeves tell you?” he asked, spinning on his heel to look at you, his lips crisping in distaste at your messy hair and oversized sleeping shirt. “I’m Ryan, the interior designer that did his offices here in New York.”

“I guess he forgot to mention,” you replied, rubbing your eyes and moving towards the counter to get some coffee. “I’m guessing you’re here to fix the apartment?”

“I wouldn’t say fix…” he trailed off, looking around, but his grimace was quite obvious. “Alright, I would. Honey, do you have any idea how lucky you are? You got a high-end apartment in one of the best areas of the city and unlimited funds to get it just the right way. Think big!”

“People keep telling me that,” you sighed, leaning against the counter, holding your mug like it was a lifeline in the brand new world you had just been thrown into. “I’m a simple girl with simple needs.”

‘I can work with that,” he smiled at you and this time you could actually feel some warmth behind his words as he moved closer, ARCHpad in hand. “And simple doesn’t have to mean cheap.”

You spent the rest of the day with Ryan and his team, going through each room of the apartment selecting the right color scheme, wallpapers, and furniture, browsing the website of some of the most expensive design stores you had ever seen.

Ryan tried his best to be gentle and kind with you but you could tell he was losing patience with your hesitation every time your gaze landed on the price of a specific product, making you once again scared by the amount you were spending.

“You know we could furniture several small houses with what we’re investing in this one apartment?” you asked Ryan as he kept pushing you into buying this gorgeous couch that costed more than what your mother made in a month.

“Yes, and that’s dreadful,” Ryan heaved an annoyed sigh. “Would not buying this couch fix anything?”

“Well, no…”

“Good!” he cut you off, clicking on the purchase button. “That settles then. And we’re done for today, tomorrow Alicia will come over with options for your wardrobe.”

You looked down at yourself. After Ryan and his team invaded your home, you put on a pair of leggings under your sleeping shirt and pulled your hair up in a bun. You didn’t think you looked that bad, did you?

“What’s wrong with my wardrobe right now?” You asked and Ryan let out a sharp laugh, putting away his things in his briefcase.

“You’re funny. I can see why Mr. Reeves likes you,” he pecked your cheek like you two were best friends and led his crew to the door, handing you a card. “Call if you need anything else.”

You waited until they were out of sight to grab your phone and text Keanu, asking if he was available to talk. His answer was to make a videocall you.

“I have five minutes before an acquisition meeting, so talk fast.” You could see the tension in his shoulders, on the crease of his brow and the steel in his eyes. It made you immediately regret having reached out at all.

“It’s not important. Have a good meeting,” you said, thumb already hovering over the end button.

“Wait,” Keanu sighed, squeezing the bridge of his nose. “I’m sorry. It’s been a shit week. Are you alright? Do you need anything?”

“No, I just…” you paused, looking away. Part of you wanted to be there to ease whatever tension seemed to be lingering in his frame. Part of you didn’t know if you should feel like that considering you were just his… you didn’t even know how to describe it. “Do you not like how I look? How I dress?”

“What?” Keanu frowned in confusion. “Of course, I do. What makes you…” he paused realization coloring his features. “Alicia.”

“Yeah,” you nodded, sitting cross-legged on the bed.

“It’s not like that, sweetheart,” he explained. “One: I could care less about how you dress. As a matter of fact, if you could walk naked for the rest of your life, I’d die a happy man.” That made you giggle, a blush creeping up your cheeks because Keanu was talking about you two in the long-term and that made you undeniably happy. “Unfortunately, I can’t take you to a charity ball in t-shirt and leggings… I mean, I could…” he smirked, and you chuckled again. “That’s where Alicia comes in. I’ll make sure to tell her not to bug you with anything other than event clothes. How about that?”

“I can handle that,” you smiled at him, tucking one lock of hair behind your ear as you looked at his considerably more relaxed expression. The creases in his face this time from amusement and not tension. You preferred those much better. “I miss you.”

The words escaped you and for a moment you regretted, but Keanu’s expression softened up even more as he gazed at the screen.

“I miss you too,” he breathed out. “Wish I could fly over for the weekend, but there’s so much shit going on…”

“It’s alright, Ke, We can handle another two weeks,” you tried to fake a cheerful tone but from the look in his face, he didn’t buy it and neither did you. Someone called his name from out of the frame and he looked away for a second, nodding before glancing back at you. “Have a good meeting.”

“Thank you. Call you tonight.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

The next day, you were dressed and caffeinated when Alicia knocked on your door, also with her small crew of people. You had given a lot of thought about the entire thing after talking to Keanu and even if you didn’t want to do a complete makeover, you wouldn’t mind changing a bit to better fit in his world. In your new world.

Maggie agreed that if you had the chance to look a little nicer, with fancier clothes and professional help for your hair and nails, what would be the harm? It would even help with job interviews. Every advisor you had even been to always told you that the way one looked could make or break their chances.

So, you let Alicia and her team work on you. Waxing every hair of your body – and sweet Jesus that hurt – leaving you so smooth your skin felt soft like a baby’s. Cut your hair in a modern new long bob that flattered your face; fix your eyebrows and give you tutorials on makeup for different occasions as well as saddle you with so many beauty products the marble counter of your sink looked like it housed a small army.

When it came to clothing, Alicia took time to hear your needs as she offered several new choices with your style in mind and you loved every single one of them, from the basic tees and jeans to the pencil skirts and button-downs for business occasion and the party gowns and cocktail dresses. They were all gorgeous.

“Now, lingerie…” she said, opening a different case and giving you a sly smile. “There are a few sets that Mr. Reeves picked himself.”

“He did?” Your voice squeaked slightly, as you rubbed your nape and looked anywhere but, Alicia.

“Yes. He has excellent taste,” she said, spreading five pairs of bra and panties, three corsets, two slips, and a robe on the bed.

You swallowed around the lump in your throat, touching the rich lace and silky soft satin of the slip and the robe. They were all gorgeous and heat rose to your cheeks at the thought of putting these on for Keanu, letting him devour your shape and curves as you paraded for him. A shiver ran down your spine and you finally met Alicia’s eyes.

“Yes, to all of those,” your gaze moved to her case. “What else do you have?”

By the time you were done picking all kinds of lingerie imaginable, the sun was starting to set and you knew Keanu would be calling soon, so you said your goodbyes to Alicia, thanking her profusely as you guided the way to the front door.

“One more thing,” she said, digging something out of her bag, a square black box and handing it to you. “He told me to give you this.”

“What is it?” you asked with a frown, undoing the bow on top, but before you could open the lid, she rested a hand over yours.

“Maybe you should take a look in private,” she smirked at you, eyebrows raised and the rush of blood to your cheeks made your face hot.

“Oh.” Alicia winked at you before stepping out, leaving you alone with the black box and your thoughts.

You let the box on the bed, still too afraid of opening it; choosing instead to take a long bath. It had been a long weekend with too many people coming and going. You just wanted the chance of soaking up in the bubbly water, enjoy yourself before putting on one the slips Keanu picked and settling in bed to take a look inside the box.

It wasn’t as terrifying as you first thought, just a purple silicone thing, shaped like a U and for a while, you wondered how exactly it worked. You had never owned a sex toy before, so you had no clue what to do with that one. And from what you could see, there weren’t instructions included.

The vibrations of your phone made you startle and you scrabbled to put the toy out of view before picking up, sighing in relief when you saw it was Keanu. You accepted his video call, leaning back on the headboard to make yourself more comfortable.

“Wow!” he breathed out when the video connected and he saw you, making you grin. “You look… wow.”

‘I made you speechless,” you chuckled. “That has to be a first.”

“Not a first, but very rare,” he said, his voice turning lower and you could already feel the shiver running down your spine. “Let me see all of you.”

With a nod, you moved to stand in front of the mirror, shifting cameras, and Keanu let out a sharp and shaky exhale, shifting in his own bed and you could once again see his bare torso.

“You look amazing, sweetheart.” The hunger in his eyes was enough to make you flush, your skin suddenly hot. “Did you get my gift?”

“You mean this?” you asked, returning to bed and showing the toy. “Yes, though I have no idea what to do with it.”

“Don’t worry. I didn’t get it for you to play alone,” he smirked at you. “Now, I’m going to send you a link so we can move this to a private channel. You’re gonna need your computer for this.”

You obeyed his instructions, setting up the computer between your legs and clicking the link he emailed you, it loaded into a simple videoconference app with no identification and you wondered if Keanu made this especially for these occasions.

“That’s better,” he smiled at you and now you could see more of him, of his naked body and you swallowed hard at the sight of his cock resting on the nest of dark hair.

You could never get tired of looking at Keanu like this, completely naked for your hungry gaze. He was fit, but not overly defined. You knew his broad torso housed solid muscles, hard and strong and he was capable to pin you down or lift you up and that was all that mattered. The sight was much more appealing than a model’s six-pack.

“This is safe?” you asked, the idea of doing this on camera making you shy.

“Perfectly safe. I promise,” Keanu smiled reassuringly. “Now, I want you to touch yourself. Pretend it’s my hand.”

You settled back on the pillows, letting your fingertips travel down over the hollow of your throat, and the valley of your breasts. You closed your eyes to try and imagine his hand, his touch, but your digits were too small, too soft in comparison. Still, his pleased hum was enough to spur you one and you, circled one nipple over the silk of your slip, making the nub harden, raising goosebumps on your arms and legs. You could feel the slow, lazy tendrils of pleasure waking up in your center, sending tiny sparks of enjoyment and heat through your veins.

“You look so fucking sexy like that,” Keanu breathed out, his voice rougher than before, breathier. “God! I miss your taste. I miss your smell. I just wanna bury my face on your cunt, lick you up until you’re writhing and riding my mouth.”

You keened softly, pressing your legs together as the throb in your core started, his words panting such an enticing picture.

“We haven’t done that yet, have we? Have you sitting on my face, let you ride it, suffocate me with your juices.” His smirk was one of the dirtiest things you have ever seen and as the need grew inside you, your grip on your breast tightened, making you moan. “Do you want that? Do you want to ride my face?”

“Yes, sir,” you breathed out, shoving the straps of your slip down so you could better touch your breasts. You sucked a thumb, flickering against your nipples and you arched at the sensation, your skin so hot, your lungs tight, making your breath come out in desperate pants.

“And after you drench my face, I’ll put you in all fours and fuck that pretty cunt,” Keanu continued, making the throb more intense and your core wetter. “Are you soaked, sweetheart? Dripping on the bed?”

You lifted your skirt and spread your legs to the camera, watching as Keanu cursed and fisted his hardening cock.

“Yes, sir,” you pushed one finger inside yourself and swirled your clit with your thumb, making a bolt of pleasure shot through you. “So wet.”

“Good,” he growled. “Get the toy. You’re gonna put the larger end inside your cunt, the smaller one should press against your clit.”

You obeyed through the hazy of your pleasure. It felt weird at first, the texture foreign against your entrance and your walls clenched slightly, keeping the toy out, but you played with your clit a little more, while you teased your slit with the rubber and finally, your walls allowed the toy passage.

It wasn’t a large as Keanu’s cock, but it did give you a sort of fullness and it teased your g-spot slightly, but not enough to do anything for you. You figured there should be some kind of vibrating function, but as far as you could see, there weren’t any buttons.

Before you could ask Keanu, the toy came to life, making you shout and shake, the vibrations coursing through your clit and center, kindling your pleasure like an erupting volcano and when you managed to finally open your eyes and look at the screen, Keanu had a huge, shit-eating smirk and was holding his phone in hand. He was controlling the toy.

“Feels good, sweetheart?” he asked, stroking his cock and you nodded, getting lost in the sensations. “Keep those thighs open, baby. I wanna see you.”

“Sorry, Mr. Reeves,” you whimpered, forcing your legs apart. The pleasure was so intense your first instinct was to close up, keep that pulsing deep inside so you could enjoy every second.

“Tell me how good it feels,” he asked.

“So, fucking good,” you sighed, rolling your hips, trying to find more of that sweet pleasure, your hands squeezing your breasts and pinching your nipples.

“Better than my cock?”

“No,” you whimpered, looking at him with heavy lids. “Never.”

“Good answer,” he smirked, and the vibrations went up, making you moan and writhe, your walls convulsing around the toy, as if unsure if they should try to push it away or deeper inside you. “Fuck! You looked so pretty all flushed and undone for me. I wish I could record this. I can almost taste how desperate you are to cum.”

“Please, sir,” you whined, head thrown back, back arched. The knot in your center so tight and so good but you still needed something, that little nudge to send you over the edge.

“If I was there,” Keanu said, his hand working faster around his hard, leaking cock. His words punctuated by little grunts. “I’d have you on your knees, sucking my cock while that toy worked that cunt. I’d make you choke on my cock until you could feel your throat around my head. Do you want that?”

“Fuck! Yes, Mr. Reeves,” you were rocking your hips steadily now, tears of frustration running down your temples as the pleasure got unbearable, but not enough to make you come undone.

“Or maybe I could fuck that tight ass? Take yet another virginity of yours?”

The mere suggestion coupled with a sudden increase of vibrations nearly made you scream as your orgasm surged through you like a crashing wave, pulling you under. You cried out his name, feeling the gush of warm liquid soak your thighs and the sheet beneath you.

“Well that was unexpected,” Keanu chuckled at little, breathless and flushed himself, his belly and chest smeared with pearly white cum as he turned off the toy. “I didn’t know you could squirt, sweetheart.”

“I, uh, I didn’t know either…” you panted, your cheeks burning, and you could barely look at the screen, too busy staring at the huge wet spot under you.

“It was fucking hot,” he called out, making you peer at him. “Next time, I want you to do it all over my cock.”

“Yes, sir…” you gasped, your center pulsing as you looked at him. “Thirteen days and counting.”

“Too fucking long,” he sighed, looking almost angry as he cleaned his chest with a tissue. “I just want you with me. One week together and I already miss having you pressed against me when I sleep.” Keanu chuckled to himself. “I’m spending most of the night awake because you’re not there. How pathetic is that?”

You bit your lip and shifted in the bed, avoiding the wet spot as you met his brown eyes, your hearts doing acrobatic flips due to his confession.

“It’s not,” you whispered. “I miss you too. I miss your smell. I even bought a pack of cigarettes and some bourbon to see if I can get the room to smell like you. It didn’t work.”

Keanu snorted, his gaze locking you in place as he stared through the screen.

“What did you do to me, sweetheart? I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way.”

“Me either,” you confessed, that giddiness returning along with a boldness you didn’t recognize. “Keanu, I think…”

Before you could finish your words, his phone started ringing and he looked over at the caller ID and cursed.

“I need to take this, sweetheart. Talk to you tomorrow. Sweet dreams.”

He turned off the videocall before you could reply and you sighed, lowering the lid of your laptop down and cuddling the pillow. Were you really about to tell Keanu you loved him? A man you barely knew? That your entire relationship was based on a contract? Did you lose your mind?

Then again, could you even deny to yourself anymore? You did love him. You were pretty sure you fell the second your lips touched his that first time around. Even if you shouldn’t have. Even if it would only bring you trouble.

But whenever Keanu said stuff like that; bared himself to you like that, you felt maybe you weren’t crazy in wanting him as much as you did. You thought you saw through the cracks of the armor he kept raised something that went beyond the contract. More than plain affection or desire.

Maybe, just maybe, there could be more to his, but if you were to find out, you needed to be with him in person, push past his walls until you could find out if you were right or out of your mind.

You needed to go to LA.

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#keanu reeves fanfic #keanu reeves imagine #keanu reeves x reader #keeanu reeves x you #fanfic #alternate universe #always the quiet ones

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klaumiel · 3 years

Text

Bad Boy’s comeback.// Fanfic Skylar Quinn.

Another boring business class, why do we need to know this? How will this help me with my future designer projects? Egh …I’m so glad is the last year.

I stared at my laptop, trying to focus on the class, but I found it boring as hell. I looked around; everyone else looked no less bored than me.

I checked some of my old emails- might as well clean my mailbox I’m sure it would be less boring than this class. I stopped seeing an email that I sent to Mrs Price a few weeks ago. I looked at the attached photo of Skylar Quinn; I didn’t forget him… who would? This unbelievably hot bad boy who I met on Lovelink just a few weeks ago.

Heir of the Europen candy manufacturing business, passionate about robotics, in that kind of nerdy way, what I've learned later on.He wanted to quit his Business studies that were only needed for the family business that he inherited, but he didn’t enjoy it, well, he hated it. I decided to help him with the first step and sent his projects to his teacher Mrs Price.

Just a couple of days in our chatting he tried to steal a car from Mrs Price to visit me, it was the craziest idea ever. I knew then that this guy means trouble, but instead of cutting him off, I was more intrigued by him, I wanted to get to know him better. I could say that this guy definitely deserves an official nickname Adrenaline Junkie.

A few days later, Skylar invited me to -what I thought at the time –his house, for a date. This was our first time seeing each other in the flesh. I still remember the moment I saw him in for the first time in his red tight swimsuit showing all the right things the way it should. Even now, the thought of those abs and muscled arms give me hots. We spend some excellent time, but just before we got to the best part of the date, the house's real owner showed up.

Only then Skylar told me this was the Chief police officer's house and not as stupid me thought –his. We ran for our lives, I hid in the bushes, but Skylar left me there- alone. I was furious, that’s not how you treat your date!

After a few clumsy attempts to apologise, I forgave him this small fuck up and demanded a proper date. Unfortunately, before we managed to have one, his school lab caught on fire, and he was accused of being behind it, because of his previous clashes with police.

He decided to escape, but he promised me he would come back for me. This was the last time I heard from him; I had no idea what happened to him. Did he got caught? Did his grandparents help him disappear?

Damn you, Skylar Quinn! Why do I always fall for bad boys? What they have in them that is so damn hot? Why couldn’t I fall for some sweet nerd who would bring me chocolates and flowers and take me to the cinema and snuggle under the blanket, and shit? Instead, I was head over hills for a guy who steals cars and runs from the police, breaks into the Chief officer’s house to impress a girl on their first date, and then just runs off and then gets in trouble for something he actually didn’t do this time.

He didn’t reach out to me for over a month since he left and it was concerning. I thought for a second that maybe he forgot about me already, we saw each other twice, we weren’t a couple, we weren’t even dating. He probably ran away somewhere and just forgot about his promise; I guess he is that type—a heartbreaker.

I’ve been thinking about him from time to time; I wasn’t able to use Lovelink again. After all that I give up, for now, I didn’t need more troubles in my head, or maybe it was hope that pushed me away from meeting anyone else? Hope that he will text eventually? Come on, woman! You are not fifteen, and this is not a movie. He simply ghosted you!

I got snapped from my thoughts by people getting ready to leave the class. Thank God, this is over.

After class as always, I went to the gym to let out some steam, came back to my empty apartment sat my single ass on the couch with the box of chow main nuddles and beer scrolling through Netflix looking for something to watch. Bridgerton, for the third time … because why not.

Few minutes into the series, I saw my phone flashing from the coffee table, I reached to see who could want my attention on Tuesday afternoon. It was a message from an unknown number, a photo of me in the class looking out the window- today! I started to panic; someone is watching me! Started to type ‘’Who are you…’’ when another message popped. ‘’ You look like you can use some fun J… I missed you. S.’’

S? Skylar!? Holy shit! I instantly replied ‘’ Skylar? Is that you?’’ I saw three dots jumping on the screen; I was getting impatient. ‘’Maybe…come to the roof and find out for yourself ;)’’ Roof!?

I was puzzled, but as always before using the useful part of my brain used for logical thinking, I turned off the TV, put my shoes on and walked out the door right to the elevator. I lived in one of the tallest apartment blocks in town and never been on the roof.

I pressed the level 25 and looked in the mirror, fixing my messy hair. What if this is not Skylar? What if is some kind of serial killer? Fuck it; my life is dull anyway. At least they will talk about me in the news; I will be dead but famous.

The elevator’s door opened, suddenly I felt stressed, scared but walked out towards the last few stairs, leading to the roof. I opened the door, and the warm summer breeze hit my face. I could see the whole town from there, the sun was going down on the horizon behind me, the view was mesmerising, but that wasn’t the reason I was there. I walked forward and looked around, but I didn’t see anyone…great … this must’ve been some stupid joke.

I turned around to go back to the elevator and go back home, already properly annoyed, cursing whoever decided to make that stupid joke and myself for falling for it.

Then I saw him leaning on the door with his arms crossed, and his signature cocky smirk on his face. His black hair messy from the breeze, his blue eyes sparkling in the sunset, tight burgundy shirt exposing his muscular arms, God he looked like a masterpiece.

Without saying anything or leaving my gaze, Skylar approached me slowly, grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckles ‘Hi, gorgeous.’ he smiled, with ‘this’ look in his eyes that give me butterflies when I first saw him. Did I missed him? Hell yes, I did!

‘What are you doing here ?’ I asked, pointing with my other hand at the roof, my other hand still firmly in his.

‘I promised I would come back for you, remember? So here I am.’ He smiled, squeezing my hand ‘It’s silly, but … I missed you.’ He said and looked away shyly like he was scared to see my reaction. Skylar Quinn, shy? Unbelievable.

‘It’s not … I missed you too.’ I said, he looked at me again ‘I’m delighted to see you; also, I was worried. What happened to you after?’ I asked, he took a small step closer and looked me in the eyes.

‘I will tell you everything, in just a moment, but first …’ he said touching my cheek with his fingers which gently slipped behind my neck and pulled me closer for our lips to meet, he kissed me gently but urgently, I returned the kiss burring my fingers in his soft black hair. His lips were soft and gentle; I felt the butterflies dancing in my stomach and warmth reaching my body. Skylar traced his fingers down my back with the other hand, still firmly holding the back of my neck, rubbing my cheek with his thumb. I felt the heat building between us. After a few precious minutes; we pulled away, Skylar grabbed my hand and pulled me to the other side roof. I saw a blanket and some cushions neatly laid on the ground with lanterns on each side, a bottle of wine and some snacks waiting for us.

‘Oh wow, Skylar Quinn… what happened to you?’ I giggled.

‘I owe you a date, and that’s all I could think of that doesn’t involve breaking the law.’ He laughed.

‘Impressive, I am shocked.’ I smiled, sitting on the blanket next to him. He reached for two glasses and a bottle of wine and then I touched the cushions and realised ‘What the hell!? Are those my cushions!?... and blanket?’ I raised my eyebrow. ‘Did you break into my house, Skylar?’ he started to laugh, for some reason I wasn’t surprised, he’s laugh was so adorable and hot. I couldn’t be angry at him; after all, he was here, he kept his promise. I will have plenty of time to be mad at him to break into my apartment.

‘I did borrow a couple of items from you, indeed.’ He said, not feeling sorry what so ever, and passed me the glass.

‘Well, so tell me… what happened after you left the library?’ I asked sipping the wine.

‘Police caught me; there was no way I could escape. I’ve spent the last month in jail…’ he said looking down.

‘Oh my God, Skylar! That’s horrible … why they kept you so long?.’

‘Chill, all is good now. They found the guy who did it, and they let me out. It wasn’t that bad; I was lucky to have a cool cellmate for most of the time there, Damien made this whole experience a lot easier. I hope to meet him again once he is out, rough around the ages but a cool guy, good friend material. He helped me realise a few things, and I am grateful. ’ Skylar said with a warm smile.

‘I’m glad everything is good now, I was worried that you escaped and ghosted me, we weren’t really dating or anything, so I thought you forgot about me and just moved on.’ I said, looking at my wine glass.

‘I actually want to tell you something, but please don’t laugh, ok?... Promise you won’t laugh.’ He looked at me, with his piercing blue eyes sending shivers down my spine, I nodded. ‘I’ve been thinking about you every day. You showed me a different view on life. Thanks to you, I understood that it is important to pump the breaks from time to time for the right person. And I am ready to do that, for you… I’m willing to slow down a bit. After our date, I realised I put you in danger, and that wasn’t cool, I care about you, you know?’ Skylar brushed his hand down my arm, his eyes not leaving mine.

‘I had no idea you felt that way, Skylar… Well, it’s not like we had much time to develop anything yet, but in that short time I think I started to like you.’ I said smiling, somehow deep inside I was glad he was willing to change. ‘I'm really glad I met you, even though you fucked up from the start by leaving me nearly naked in the bushes in the broken in the house.’ I gave him a slightly angry look, but still smiling.

‘Damn it! You will never forgive me this small fuck up, huh? He said, rubbing the back of his neck; I could see in his eyes that he was sincerely sorry.

‘I’m only teasing you silly.’ I laughed and gently pushed his shoulder.’ I hated you for a split of a second, but I had fun after all.’ I smiled; I could see the relief on his face but looked nervous playing with strings of the cushion, there was something on his mind, and I couldn’t put my finger on it ‘Something wrong?’ I asked, tipping my head down to him, to meet his eyes.

‘No, everything is perfect. I am just trying to think how to… hell … I’m not good at these things.’ He said

‘Just spill it.’ I said, holding his hand, Skylar shifted a bit closed.

‘So, I know we aren’t dating or anything, but I like you, and I would like to see where this thing between us go. So my question is, would YOU like to continue where we left off and see where this goes?.’ He asked a little bit shy, looking so precious and adorable, like a completely different Skylar. ‘Listen, if you are already dating someone, that’s fine … just tell me.’ He said, getting more nervous.

‘I am not, actually since you left I didn’t open Lovelink once. I kind of hoped that you would come back, and to answer your question… yes I would like to pick it up from when we left it.’ I smiled ‘How about we come back to the moment in the pool, before the whole running away happened?’ He shot me a cocky smirk.

Skylar took an empty glass from my hand and put it aside, and sifted closer to me, grabbing the back of my neck and gently pulled towards him.

‘So... where were we?’ He asked with a hungry voice; I could feel his breath on my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck, burring my lips in his. He kissed me gently at first but with each touch deepened. Skylar lied me gently on the cushions, exploring my body with his hands. His touch was caring and loving, but at the same time hungry and passionate, he slipped his hands under my shirt, teasing my bare skin with his fingers, my hands tracing trough his hard abs under his shirt, unable to wait any longer we pulled from the kiss and quickly tossed our tops aside for our bodies to touch.

We kissed and touched each other all over, completely lost in time. He stopped for a second and looked at me with his piercing blue eyes and smiled.

‘You are beautiful; you know that?... Thank you.’ He brushed my cheek with his thumb.

‘For what?’ I asked, trying to catch my breath.

‘For waiting, you are special, and I don’t want fuck this up … I am glad I swiped right.’ He said, sliding his hand under my leggings, I tilted my head and moaned with pleasure when he reached my most tender spot, he kissed and sucked my neck while teasing me with his hand pushing me to the edge, the view of his perfect muscles from that angle only fueled my desire. I wanted him, all of him, I moved my hand from his chest to his jeans undoing the button and the zip reaching for his excitement already waiting for me ‘Oh Fuck!.’ He moaned into my ear when I started to move my hand on him.

The sun completely disappeared from the horizon; the city's lights and stars surrounded us, warm summer breeze danced between our now naked, sweaty bodies. Skylar knew exactly where to touch me where to kiss me driving me crazy; we didn’t care that someone could see us, this moment was perfect. We could hear the echo of our moans bouncing around us, creating a perfect melody; we could definitely be heard, and that adrenaline made it even more special.

Who would’ve thought that my afternoon would turn from eating nuddles on the sofa alone working myself by the view of the Duke, to making love with the hottest bad boy on this planet on the roof of my apartment block under the stars, feeling like I own the world. You know what Bridgerton? You can go an hide yourself; this is a million times better.

If someone asked me to choose where I want to be, I would choose this moment a hundred times over.

The fact that this sweet guy came back to me, gave me a boost of confidence and made me realise how much I like him, I didn’t know what future will hold for us, but I was ready to find out. Goodbye my dull life, welcome Skylar Quinn.

#skylarquinn #skylar #lovelink #lovelink fanfic #skylarfanfic #comeback #badboy

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zainbap · 5 years

Text

like autumn leaves, we fall

BangDae college/university AU • masterpost • AO3

words: 4515 warnings: FLUFF

part six

Studying together isn't the same after that.

They meet up a few times the following week, in between classes at the campus library, or in the afternoons at the coffee shop. They sit across from another, just like always, with eyes meeting every so often, faint smiles being exchanged and hands brushing when reaching for something on the table. It's the same as it's been for months, only it isn't.

Daehyun knows something's changed between them, but it's impossible to pinpoint what exactly. He sees the same thing in Yongguk's eyes as he has for weeks; hears the same fondness in Yongguk's voice when they talk. Nothing's changed, other than perhaps Daehyun's confidence in that it's not just him. It's not all in his head. Something is developing between them, something intense and soft and real, and they both know it.

They're not just friends, anymore. If they ever were.

Sungwon keeps his promise and pays for their coffees the first time he serves them. Yongguk doesn't push to know why, but Daehyun has a feeling he probably suspects what it's about, anyway. They don't talk about what happened last weekend, other than Yongguk assuring him that he's better and that he's got everything under control again. Daehyun makes a habit of dropping the question how he slept every morning they meet up, hoping it's casual enough. And while he has no doubt Yongguk knows what he's really asking, he doesn't seem to mind. If anything, he almost seems moved.

"Are you going home for Christmas?" Yongguk asks on Friday.

They're walking through one of the central parks, bags slung over their shoulders. Fall is coming to an end, the chilly bite in the air getting stronger every day. Leaves are everywhere, heaps of color scattered around the world. The fountain that'd still been running when Daehyun first moved here is empty now, looking like a big, ugly bowl of concrete surrounded by withering blower beds.

Yongguk is wearing his usual beanie, the collar of his coat pulled up close to his chin. Daehyun's got both hands in the pockets of his jacket, despite wearing gloves.

"I guess so," Daehyun replies with a small shrug. Christmas break is still several weeks away, but he's been curious to ask Yongguk the same thing. "Are you?"

"Not exactly," Yongguk hums, smiling faintly. "Tasha lives really close, so mom and Nam usually come down here over the holidays. Nam usually stays with me for a new nights."

At this point, Daehyun has heard quite a bit about Yongguk's siblings, but it's still mind blowing to think Yongguk's got a twin brother. His older sister, Natasha, sounds really cool and only a little scary. Yongguk keeps saying he and Yongnam are complete opposites in everything but looks, and Daehyun wonders what that even means. He can't imagine someone wearing Yongguk's face while acting nothing like him.

"You should meet them," Yongguk says then.

Daehyun looks over to meet his eyes, warmth spreading from the center of his chest at the soft smile resting on Yongguk's lips. Yongguk's arms are slack at his sides, his right hand brushing up against Daehyun's jacket as they walk. Daehyun's fingers jerk inside his left-handed pocket.

He wonders how much Yongguk's family knows about him, what Yongguk may have told them.

"Okay," Daehyun says.

The tips of Yongguk's ears are poking out from under the beanie, and they look slightly pink as he ducks his head down with a smile.

"Okay."

Saturday evening Daehyun arrives to the library with several minutes to spare before Yongguk's shift ends. He'd been unsure how much he should dress up, finally settling for a pair of jeans and one of his newer sweaters. Comfortable, but put together. He'd taken the bus, not wanting the humidity to ruin his hair on the bike. Still, he can't help but run his fingers through it as he steps through the door of the building, unzipping his jacket.

He's not prepared to find Yongguk sitting behind the desk in a goddamn blazer. For a split second Daehyun considers turning around and running back home to change, but Yongguk has already seen him. He smiles, standing from his chair.

"I wasn't— I didn't know what to wear," Daehyun mumbles in way of greeting, awkwardly gesturing to his casual clothing peeking out from under the jacket.

Yongguk chuckles, eyes soft, and Daehyun instantly feels all tension leave his shoulders.

"No, it's— You look nice."

"You too," Daehyun exhales.

First then does he notice the three people sitting by a table nearby, hunched over their notebooks, pens at the ready, but with their wide eyes on the two of them. They look both nervous and expectant, somehow. Daehyun feels his face heat up.

"I'll just… go wait over here," Daehyun mumbles, gesturing with a thumb over his shoulder as he awkwardly backs away from the desk.

Yongguk, who doesn't look nearly as embarrassed as Daehyun feels, despite the flush coloring his cheeks, smiles sheepishly and nods. Daehyun flees into the forest of bookshelves, grabbing a random book and uselessly convinces himself he's keeping himself busy as he sits down in a corner to read it.

He stays there until closing time, listening to the three students packing up and walking out. When it's all quiet, he re-emerges from the depths again to find Yongguk just stepping out from behind the desk. He grins when he spots Daehyun, and he's so beautiful Daehyun's chest hurts.

"You ready?" He asks, trying to sound nonchalant enough.

"Yeah," Yongguk smiles. "Come on."

The cinema isn't far, and the air isn't as humid as yesterday, but Daehyun still feels self-conscious of what his hair might look like by the time they arrive. The movie has already been showing for nearly two weeks, so the salon is far from crowded. He and Yongguk get a row all to themselves, which Daehyun can't decide if it makes him more anxious or excited.

Sungwon was right — Yongguk clearly enjoys the movie. Daehyun likes it too, though he keeps being distracted by the amused and fascinated noises Yongguk makes. And he spends more time than he'd like to admit wondering if Yongguk's hand on the armrest between them means something. He thinks about reaching over and touch his knuckles a dozen times, but never gathers up enough courage to actually do it.

By the time the movie ends, the lights coming back on, Yongguk has moved his hand back into his own lap, and Daehyun can't help but feel like he missed an invitation that's now expired. The two of them stay close as they walk out the doors with the other movie-goers, moving in a herd before all dispersing outside.

There's something heavy and electric hanging in the air as they come to a stop around the corner. Daehyun's heart is beating too fast. Yongguk nudges him with his foot.

"I'll walk you home," he whispers.

They talk about the movie as they walk, Yongguk sharing his thoughts about a deeper meaning, about how much he appreciated a certain shot, a certain line. Daehyun gladly listens, not realizing he's smiling until his face starts to hurt. He playfully teases Yongguk about his enthusiasm, making Yongguk's shy laugh echo down a dark street.

Daehyun's heart jolts every time their hands brush against one another as they walk side by side. It'd be so easy, to catch Yongguk's hand and slide his fingers between Yongguk's knuckles. He wonders if Yongguk would mind, if he'd care if someone saw him holding hands with a guy. Daehyun wonders if he would.

It starts to drizzle just as they reach the building, and they quickly duck under the small roofing above the door, chuckling quietly as Daehyun digs for his keys. Daehyun waits for Yongguk to say something, to acknowledge the fact that they've reached their destination and that he should probably head home. But Yongguk doesn't say anything, and so Daehyun doesn't either. They both just watch Daehyun's hand unlock the door in silence before stepping inside.

The hallway on the second floor is unnaturally dark and quiet, most of Daehyun's dorm mates away at another party across campus. Daehyun feels both excited and nervous as he leads Yongguk to his door, only vaguely remembering doing this once before.

"I didn't clean," he says as they step inside, embarrassed.

"It's fine," Yongguk assures him.

No lights are on, the room lit up only by the moonlight coming through the window. His floor is a mess, as is his desk, and Daehyun anxiously runs his fingers through his bangs. He watches Yongguk slip out of his jacket and step further into the room. He adjusts his glasses, eyes sweeping over the room and lingering on the bookshelf. He's taken his hat off, and his hair is a wild, dark mess.

"Not gonna lie," Yongguk hums, tipping his head back to give Daehyun a wry smile. "I expected a bigger collection from an English major."

Daehyun huffs, running another hand through his hair.

"I didn't bring all my books from back home," he explains, moving to stand next to Yongguk, eyeing the shelves as well. It's next to impossible to read any of the titles in this light. "Didn't think it was worth it. Not while living in a dorm room. Figured I should wait till I found an actual apartment before moving my entire library."

Yongguk hums, amused, turning back to look at the books again.

"You're looking for apartments, then?" He asks.

Daehyun shrugs with one shoulder.

"I mean, I never planned on living out all my college days in a dorm. But. You know. Money."

Yongguk hums, again, in understanding.

He moves away from the bookcase, and Daehyun just awkwardly watches Yongguk look around his messy dorm room. He wonders if this is how Yongguk felt when he first invited Daehyun to his apartment; if he feels the same kind of intimacy Daehyun did to be in someone's space like this. He wonders if this room smells of him, and if it's a smell Yongguk doesn't mind.

Ironically, that's when Yongguk spots his own hoodie hanging off Daehyun's bedpost. Daehyun feels his face go hot, struggling to come up with what to say as Yongguk goes to pick it up.

"I was, uh— I'm sorry. I… forgot to return it."

He knows it's blatantly obvious that he didn't just forget to return it, that he's clearly used it again after borrowing it that one night. That's so embarrassing, and possibly creepy, and Daehyun kind of wishes the ground would open up and swallow him.

But Yongguk just chuckles, turning back around to smile at him. He looks so soft just then — standing next to Daehyun's bed in the small dorm room with his hair all tousled, the blue light from outside caressing one side of his face.

"It's okay," Yongguk murmurs, still smiling gently. "I don't mind… you having it."

It's hard to tell, but Daehyun is pretty sure he's not imagining the blush coloring Yongguk's cheeks. It helps, knowing he's not the only one who's nervous about what's happening.

Despite having had a crush on Yongguk pretty much from the moment Daehyun first met him, he's never really let himself think about it too much. He's never let himself daydream about what it would be like, if they finally crossed that line — the one he knows they've been balancing on for quite some time now. He's never allowed himself to imagine what it'd be like to actually be with Yongguk; to be allowed to hold his hand, to reach out and adjust his glasses for him, to steal his clothes.

But he lets himself think about it now. Lets himself feel it. And Daehyun's heart clenches. With how much he wants it. And it's terrifying, realizing the loaded silence stretching between them means there is no going back after this. It's already too late. They'll never just be what they used to be, after this. It can only be more, or less.

Yongguk visibly swallows, dropping the hoodie back onto Daehyun's bed. Daehyun's breath hitches as Yongguk moves closer, his own breathing suddenly feeling incredibly loud in the room. Yongguk stops just a couple inches away, close enough for Daehyun to feel the heat of his breath on his face. He can feel the hesitation in Yongguk's breath when he opens his mouth.

"It's not just in my head, right?" Yongguk asks, and his voice is barely more than a whisper. He licks his lips, pupils dilated. "That you and I are..?"

And Daehyun wants to laugh, because he's so relieved and happy, but also because that's such a ridiculous question.

But he doesn't laugh, and he doesn't answer. He just takes one step forward, closing the final distance between them, and captures Yongguk's mouth with his own.

It's just a brush of lips at first, eager but tentative. Yongguk's lips are still cold from the outside, the smell of autumn air filling his nose as Daehyun breathes in. Then Yongguk sighs into the kiss, sending a hot shiver down Daehyun's spine, and gently cups Daehyun's face with both hands. Yongguk's fingers are cold against his warm cheeks, and Daehyun's breath hitches. His heart is pounding hard against his ribs, and he completely forgets he's supposed to breathe through his nose, which leaves him out of breath in seconds.

He breaks away, just enough for their lips to disconnect, panting into the small space of air between them. Yongguk laughs softly, that wheezy sound Daehyun loves so much. And Daehyun grins, even though he's embarrassed, because he feels fucking giddy. Their noses are still touching, bumping against one another while Daehyun catches his breath. Yongguk's hands are still cupping his face, his thumb swiping over one of his cheekbones.

"God," he mumbles, still grinning. The sound of his deep voice makes heat pool in Daehyun's belly. "Fuck, you're—"

Daehyun is leaning back in before discovering just what he is, interrupting Yongguk with another kiss. His hands instinctively land on Yongguk's hips, pulling himself even closer. Yongguk groans against his mouth, sending another shudder through Daehyun. One of his hands move from Daehyun's face to cup the back of his neck instead, lips parting as the heat builds between them.

The sturdy frames of Yongguk's glasses push into his brows for the first time, making him smile into the kiss, and he can feel Yongguk smile back. His heart is still beating too fast, but he's breathing quickly through his nose this time, and the sound of their joined, harsh breathing is making something stir deep in his gut.

When they break apart the second time, they're both panting. Daehyun's lips feel funny, and he can't stop smiling. Yongguk is smiling too, leaning forward to rest his forehead against Daehyun with a soft hum. They catch their breaths, slowly calming down.

"Wanna sit down?" Yongguk asks after a moment, voice quiet.

His hand is still resting on the back of Daehyun's neck, and the way his thumb moves ever so slightly against his sensitive skin makes Daehyun shiver.

"Yeah," he breathes out, swiping his tongue over his kiss-bruised lips.

Yongguk smiles shyly, and they take their hands off each other somewhat awkwardly before moving to the bed. Daehyun sits on the edge at first, immediately fumbling with his hands in his lap. But Yongguk scoots back to rest his back against the wall, so Daehyun follows his example.

Daehyun expects it to get horribly awkward as soon as they're just sitting there, next to each other, but Yongguk just smiles softly and reaches for his hand. He slides his palm over Daehyun's wrist, locking their fingers together and letting their hands rest on top of the covers between them. Daehyun doesn't realize he's smiling until Yongguk chuckles, ducking his head down when Daehyun seeks his gaze.

God, they're really just two big, shy idiots, aren't they?

"One could think we've never held hands with someone before," Daehyun mutters, still smiling as he keeps his eyes on their hands.

Yongguk scoffs, tilting his head back against the wall. He swallows, Daehyun seeing his Adam's apple bob in the corner of his eye.

"Well," Yongguk says, voice a little hesitant. "Not… a lot."

Daehyun looks up then, arching an eyebrow at him curiously. Yongguk meets his eyes steadily, and it's unclear if he's embarrassed about the admission or not.

"Are you—" Daehyun cuts himself off, heart skipping a beat. Because asking will make everything so much more real. He starts over. "Are you…out?"

He doesn't even know what Yongguk would be out as, and Daehyun doesn't care what label Yongguk chooses to identify with, but their relations to the closet are going to affect whatever happens next.

Perhaps it's a too big of a question right off the bat, and Daehyun almost wishes he could take it back as soon as it's out of his mouth. But Yongguk just smiles faintly, and nods. Daehyun thinks he shouldn't be surprised, considering how Sungwon had casually assumed the two of them were already dating way back, but somehow he is.

Yongguk must notice whatever flickers across Daehyun's face just then — doubt, maybe — because his smile morphs into a genuine look of concern.

"I'm not— I don't plan on hiding, if that's what you were worried about," he murmurs, gently squeezing Daehyun's fingers. It's such a sweet gesture, and it makes Daehyun's heart swell. He doesn't know what to say, how to express how good it feels to hear Yongguk say that.

Yongguk opens his mouth again, then hesitates for a bit.

"Are… you out?"

Daehyun parts his lips, about to say yes, but the silence stretches on for a moment longer.

"I guess?" He says, making it sound like a question. When Yongguk looks confused, Daehyun sighs and offers him a faint smile. "I mean— I am back home. But. You never really stop coming out, do you? You don't get to do it just once, and then never have to do it again. If you're famous, maybe. But otherwise, no new person is gonna know when you first meet them. You constantly have to come out, over and over again."

Yongguk makes a thoughtful nose, nodding.

"That's true," he murmurs. He adjusts his grip on Daehyun's hand, turning his body slightly to face him more. "Do you… wanna keep this on the low, then?"

Daehyun blinks, taken aback. And the way Yongguk says it — sad, but so understanding, accepting — makes his heart ache.

"No," he whispers, watching Yongguk's eyes light up again. "That's not— That'd be awful, wouldn't it? For you. You shouldn't… go back into the closet, for me. For anyone."

"I'm not gonna force you to come out, though," Yongguk reasons, still so understanding. "Not if you don't feel comfortable with it. I wouldn't mind, keeping this between us. If that's what you want."

"That's not what I want," Daehyun says, shaking his head.

Yongguk meets his eyes, and Daehyun's chest burns at how hopeful he looks. He pushes himself off the wall and turns to face Yongguk, crossing his legs. Their joined hands come to rest on top of his knee, and Daehyun can feel the butterflies swirl inside his belly. Everything feels so intimate, down to the very air they breathe.

"I— I wanna be with you," Daehyun murmurs, gaze dropped to where he starts to play with Yongguk's fingers. Yongguk lets him, relaxing his hand. "I've wanted it for a long time. I just… never thought it'd actually happen," he admits, blushing. "And I— I haven't come out to any of my classmates yet."

Yongguk hums, nodding. He waits, perhaps for Daehyun to look at him, before turning to sit in front of Daehyun on the bed, mirroring him. Their knees touch, and Yongguk gently moves their hands to rest on top of their crossed ankles.

"If you don't want us to openly do anything—"

"I do," Daehyun assures him, face hot. Yongguk looks surprised, but he visibly relaxes. "I'm— I'm sorry if I come across as really unsure. I am, I guess. In a way. But I—" He sighs, jaw setting. "I don't wanna have to come out to every single person. I just wanna live my life, do what I wanna do, and have people not make a big deal out of it."

Yongguk makes a soft, agreeing noise. He squeezes Daehyun's fingers. Daehyun smiles. Yongguk waits for him to say something else, but Daehyun can't think of anything else to say.

"All my friends think we've already been dating for weeks," Yongguk says after a while.

Daehyun huffs, smiling.

"I know," he admits, glancing up to find Yongguk watching him with both amusement and confusion. He smiles sheepishly. "Sungwon… told me. Kind of."

Yongguk chuckles, shaking his head.

"Of course he did."

Daehyun grins, ducking his head back down to watch at his own hand fumble with Yongguk's when the eye-contact gets too intense. Yongguk is looking at him so fondly, Daehyun doesn't know what to do with himself.

Silence reigns for a while, but it's a comfortable one.

"I haven't been with a lot of people," Yongguk says eventually, voice quiet. Daehyun looks up, but this time Yongguk's the one to keep his eyes lowered. "So this is— I want you to know, that this isn't just… whatever, to me."

Daehyun swallows, heart swelling, and he can't help but smile.

"I know," he says, meaning it. He knows Yongguk isn't as outgoing as he first seemed. He knows Yongguk wouldn't bring just anyone to study with him most days of the week. He knows Yongguk only went to that party because of him. He hadn't known all that at the time, but he does now. "Me, too."

Yongguk lifts his head then, giving him a soft smile. His glasses have slid down on his nose a bit. He reaches out with his free hand, carding his fingers through Daehyun's hair the same way Daehyun has been doing all night. Daehyun can't help the way his eyes flutter closed at the tender touch, arching into it.

"I really care about you," Yongguk murmurs, letting his hand drop to touch Daehyun's cheek again.

Daehyun smiles, making Yongguk's thumb brush over the corner of his mouth. Somehow it feels more powerful than anything else Yongguk could've said. More powerful than 'I like you', 'I wanna date you', or 'I've been crushing on you for an embarrassing amount of months'. He knows Yongguk has cared for him since they first met, but now it's a far cry from that initial sympathy for a troubled stranger.

"I care about you, too," Daehyun says, reaching up to carefully push Yongguk's glasses further up his nose. "Like, a lot."

Yongguk grins, crowfeet appearing around his eyes, and Daehyun feels overwhelmed by the affection bursting inside him at the sight. He grins back, feeling so happy and ridiculous. He can't remember feeling this at ease ever since he left home. There's no one else here he feels so comfortable with.

"Come here," Yongguk whispers, still smiling as he pulls Daehyun into another kiss.

Daehyun huffs against Yongguk's mouth, eyes falling shut as he presses back against Yongguk's lips. It's gentle this time, neither of them wired as tight. Daehyun sighs into it, arching his back a little to lean forward. One of his hands lands on Yongguk's leg, and though he hadn't meant anything by it, he can't stop his face from heating up. Yongguk makes a soft noise low in his throat, the vibration of it traveling between them. His hand abandons Daehyun's face, reaching back to run his fingers through Daehyun's hair before settling on the back of his head. Holding him close.

They kiss for a long time, getting familiar with each other. More than once they end up just smiling against one another, having to take breaks where they just chuckle into each other's faces before locking lips again. Daehyun's nose keeps bumping into Yongguk's glasses, but he doesn't mind.

It's the sound of a door slamming shut down the hall that breaks them up, both of them going still. Daehyun swallows, looking towards the door even though there's no reason to. His door is locked, but even if it wasn't, his dorm mates have never just barged into his room without knocking. He has no reason to worry at all.

He looks back to Yongguk. They're still sitting as close as they possibly can, their hands still touching in their laps. A bashful smile rests on Yongguk's kiss-bruised lips.

"Maybe I should go," he offers.

Daehyun licks his lips.

"Or you could stay," he says.

Yongguk pauses, the two of them staring at each other for a moment. But then Yongguk's shoulders sag, and he shakes his head.

"I shouldn't," he murmurs, even as his fingers slide against Daehyun's hand. "I don't… have my pills."

"Oh," Daehyun says, instantly feeling stupid for even suggesting it. "Right."

Yongguk grins, ducking his head down.

"Maybe I should start carrying them with me sometimes," he mumbles.

Daehyun's pulse jumps.

"Yeah," he agrees casually, knowing he must be blushing like crazy. "Maybe."

Yongguk chuckles, nodding. He squeezes Daehyun's fingers one more time before letting go of his hand, uncrossing his legs and makes to stand. Daehyun follows.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Yongguk asks a little later, when he's standing by the door with his shoes and jacket back on.

Daehyun is standing with his hands in his pockets, just sort of hovering behind him. He doesn't want Yongguk to leave, hands already itching to reach out and touch him again. He nods, struggling to imagine what studying together is going to be like after tonight. Impossible, probably.

"Yeah," he exhales, smiling. "Sure."

Yongguk huffs, pausing where he'd just been about to reach for the door, and instead moves in to place a quick kiss in the corner of Daehyun's mouth. Daehyun laughs, wanting to return it but Yongguk has already moved away. It feels like his whole body is buzzing, the butterflies in his belly going mad.

"Goodnight," Yongguk tells him warmly, looking over his shoulder as he opens the door.

"Goodnight," Daehyun echoes, trailing behind him to lock the door after he leaves.

The hallway outside is empty, but Daehyun still feels his heart beating faster at the mere possibility of someone opening their door to see a boy coming out of his room. It wouldn't even be suspicious, and Daehyun isn't sure why he's so nervous about it. He doesn't want to be nervous.

Whether Yongguk senses this or not, he doesn't try to kiss him again. He just smiles, waving briefly before heading down the hall towards the stairs. Daehyun looks after him for a few seconds before retreating back into his room, locking the door again.

He flops down on the bed, burying his face in the closest pillow.

"Oh my god," he groans, smiling like a goddamn idiot.

#bangdae #b.a.p #bang yongguk #jung daehyun #my writing

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