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hawkland · 3 years

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Destiel fic recs (round #4) + commentary

Time for another (mostly) Destiel fic rec round-up post before my bookmarks get out of control! This one’s a mix of longer and some shorter fics (or series thereof), no particular theme except I guess a lot of angst, hurting Cas, and all the other things that tickle my Id. Several Season 9 human!Cas divergence fics, plus some later season angst-fests and rewrites.

In the Shadow of your Wings by Enochian Things (Salr323) (52k) The first of two fics by this author which I absolutely fell in love with! Canon-divergence from the end of Season 11. Cas finds himself blasted to Naples, Italy by the banishing sigil in the bunker and he stumbles — almost literally — into a sexy, delightful Italian Man of Letters, Luca. When he makes his way back to the bunker and finds Dean still alive, he tries to confess his feelings but Dean panics and shuts him down. Cas goes back in Italy soon thereafter and ends up beginning a relationship with Luca, much to Dean’s chagrin. Meanwhile Sam is still missing and it turns out there may be some dangerous individuals who are out for Cas more so than even the Winchesters.

I loved everything about this fic so much - Luca is an amazing OC, the Naples and London locations are wonderfully evoked and took me straight back to places I’d been. The angst, the pacing, the plotting and the eventual Dean/Cas getting together are all amazing and this is definitely on my re-read in the future list.

The rest of my recs below the cut!

My heart is beating from me by Enochian Things (Salr323) (55k) The other fic by this author that I literally inhaled in one day! Season 9 Human!Cas canon divergence. It’s been months since Sam and Dean have heard from Cas, and when they do, it’s in the form of a wedding invitation. Cas is getting married to Daphne - the woman who “rescued” him and named him Emmanuel when he’d lost all his memories post-Leviathans. It seems Cas went back to her while on his own and they’ve rekindled their relationship...whatever it is. Dean just knows something isn’t right about her, so he sets out to investigate and try to figure out WTF Cas is doing before it’s too late.

This story is so, so good! The case Dean gets Cas to come along on is unique and provides a neat investigation subplot, but what’s so especially wonderful is the explanation the author gives of who Daphne really is — and why she’d been so cool about just having a strange man with no memories move in to be her “husband” (and then want to marry him for real a couple years later, after he’d vanished from her life!) In fact it’s so brilliant I’m basically accepting it as my Daphne headcanon from now on and I don’t want to spoil it. The fic is also great in exploring Cas still struggling with understanding human emotions, customs and etiquette, Sam is A Very Good Friend, and Dean is, well, Dean. (I’m just sad this author hasn’t written more SPN fics because what they have is just brilliant.)

The wilderness. by orange_crushed (8k) Wonderful, shorter Season 9 canon divergence fic by an author who consistently makes me happy. Human!Cas leaves the bunker with a few things to get off the ground from Dean and directions to connect with Garth...but he ditches that plan to try to find his way on his own. It’s wonderfully detailed about the basic struggles of survival, finding work, making ends meet and trying to make some new friends...and why it’s important for him to prove he can make it on his own before he’s willing to welcome Dean (back) into his life.

I Through My Window See by deHavilland (26k) This is an interesting one, written well before we had canon human!Cas in Season 9. Canon-divergence in which Cas remains human after they avert the apocalypse in Season 5. Sam and Dean set him up in an apartment in Sioux Falls and then...just kind of abandon him there. He spends most of a year just barely existing before a visit from Sam finally stirs him out of his inertia and depression, to eventually get a job and also start hunting on his own. This is an interesting read, if just to see an author exploring the idea of human!Cas abandoned by Dean a few years before it actually...ended up becoming canon! I love how Cas is written in this (it’s a story much like the next one on my list that I thought does an amazing, realistic job of capturing what depression feels like), but I do have some issues with Dean. It’s never fully resolved or explained why Dean was being such an ass so I honestly wasn’t totally sold on the ending - I wanted some more out of Dean, some more explanation or apology or something. It’s a story that would have been great to have a sequel from Dean’s POV but after all this time, that will just have to exist in my brain, I suppose! Still worth a read because it’s excellently written, Cas becomes totally bad ass again by the end and it’s always fun to read early SPN fic speculating on future developments.

I Shall Not Want by domesticadventures (20k) I found myself inhaling a bunch of wonderful short ficlets by this author the other day, but this is the one I had to stop at to rec. It’s another Season 9 divergence fic, of a sort - Cas is newly human, for the sake of the story there’s no Abbadon to worry about, Sam is healed...and Sam wants to move out and get on with his own life. Cas and Dean are both struggling with adapting to their new lives and it’s a hauntingly rich and stark portrayal of depression, inertia, and the slow healing process of accepting and adapting to change. I also liked that this story gives us a Dean who is a little more aware of his feelings for Cas and they both struggle to reach out to each other - for once it’s not sexuality causing a crisis of identity but all the other shit they are coping with.

Don't Sing Love Songs by ireallydidthistomyself (17k). I’m not normally a big fan of baby/toddler!Jack fics - I like the angst that he was forced to grow up too quickly, and in general I’m not big on kid!fic in fandom. This author’s work is a big exception to that. They’ve written several stories along a similar theme: Cas raising Jack on his own/in secret for years, Dean only finding them or coming back into their lives later on. But this is the version of that idea that really packed the most punch for me and was incredibly emotionally satisfying. Dean finds Cas after 6 years, where he’s kept Jack mostly isolated and safe from the world. But with Dean allowed back into his life, Cas may be inviting grave danger upon Jack as well. This one ripped my heart out but managed to make it all better by the end.

Better Ways to Kill Our Time by always_a_birthday_girl (8k) I don’t know why I torture myself reading Dean-in-the-Ma’lak-box AUs, but I do. I think because it’s pretty much my biggest nightmare/horror and for some reason it’s cathartic while terrifying? Anyway here’s one where Dean goes through with his plan, Cas crashes and burns for most of a year, until Dean finally starts doing what he promised he wouldn’t: praying to him. Cas figures out a way to communicate back and over the distance, they manage to have certain conversations they should have years before. It’s painful but lovely and there is a happy ending, so it’s well worth the read!

Time Flows Like Water and We're Drowning by triedunture (7.9k) A little break from the later-seasons stuff I (mostly?) read, featuring a seriously hot (but angsty) Cas/Endverse!Cas/Dean threesome. When Zacariah’s plan to show Dean the future doesn’t change his mind about taking on his “responsibility”, he sends Endverse!Cas back in time to try to convince Cas instead, showing him what he’s to become. I don’t think Zac expected it to turn into a threesome, but it’s hot and beautiful and sad and wonderful all at once.

hachikireru by vaudelin (23k) At one point I went on a wallow-fest of reading a bunch of sad 14x20-15x03 divorce-arc fics. Just to hurt myself more, I guess. I know this fic’s been recced around a lot (at least on fail_fandomanon) and I can see why! After leaving the bunker, Cas ends up in Sioux Falls to visit Claire. She’s busy tracking down leads to find Kaia’s killer and he decides to go along with her on one such hunt. But what they find is an unexpected supernatural threat targeting those with broken hearts. Well. I think you know where that might be leading. This is a wonderful casefic with lots of character moments between Cas & Claire and then Cas & Dean, working through their pain and angst and just...it’s a very satisfying read.

Moriah Codas: A Trilogy by Toomanyfandoms99 (11k total) A series of 3 shorter fics spinning off the events of 14x20, developing a slightly divergent universe the author’s written where Cas does have his wings back and has helped resurrect a few of the angels (Balthazar, Gabriel, and Samandriel in particular). This series is absolutely heartbreaking — Cas is completely broken by Jack’s loss, has “fallen out of love” with Dean after he was ready to kill Jack, and sees no way back to what he’d had and felt before. He’s determined to just let the Empty take him...but not until he and his assembled squad of “avenging angels” clean up the mess Chuck has created, smiting zombies and taking out super-powered monsters across North America.

Cas’s motorcycle gang/angel squad is so fucking awesome (I want a happy fic where they do this!) and this is BAMF!Cas at his finest. I just have to include a quote:

He set down the empty glass, and Gabriel said, “well, dearly beloved, we have gathered here today to kick some zombie ass. Since they have chosen to amass in Carthage, we are here to take out as many as we can without causing this town to flip the fuck out. Are we in agreement?”

“I expect,” Balthazar grinned, “a full-on bar brawl. Do not disappoint me.”

“Cassie, Driel,” Gabriel addressed the duo, “how are we with weapons?”

“I have enough machetes in a storage facility uptown to film a Jackie Chan movie,” Castiel said.

But it’s also utterly and completely heartbreaking, so don’t read this one if you need a happy ending. If you do read, check out the author’s other later-season coda fics and fic series as they are all really great.

to mend what is not broken by gothyringwald (2.6k) This last short one I’ve mentioned before, but I just have to rec it again! It was my gift for the 2021 Hurt Comfort Gift Exchange and it’s everything I wanted, and more. Sweet and caring Dean, wounded but still prideful Cas, and some lovely wing!kink/wing!care that pushes all of my button just right.

Anyway, that’s it for now as I think this is long enough. If you enjoy my recs, could you let me know? I try to not just list titles but give some commentary...as it helps me re-find stories I enjoyed the most, too!

#destiel recs #my fic recs #deancas fic recs #my destiel recs

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inked-out-trees · 3 years

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⭐ for The Keep Going Song? Thanks! :)

(anh i would die for you)

Thank you for asking! I am going to be talking about the whole thing because it's fun, and because there's not really many ~secrets~ within the text to ramble about, just little fun snippets!

I'll do it under a cut because I will definitely ramble. Woohoo!

I came across The Keep Going Song (the song) after my Lookout 3 Companion Playlist (& my spotify discovery) introduced me to the Bengsons. The effect was almost instantaneous - it's the kind of warmth I try to encompass in everything I do, and for the next few days I had it on repeat as I worked. This was around the time I was finishing my Lookout script, and I had been toying with the idea of writing a Cornleyverse fic after absolutely devouring all 10 fics in the tag. What I knew was that I wanted it to be sweet, I wanted it to pull them all together, and I wanted it to be a progression. Despite only having seen the Goes Wrong Show, jumping into the fandom made me want to dimensionalize these characters and give them a story beyond everything that had already occured.

I also watched Christmas Carol before / during the writing process, but to date I have not watched Peter Pan or the full-length TPTGW. My prior knowledge comes from Wikipedia, the delightul amateur TPTGW production on YouTube, a friend's excellent transcription of the Haversham Manor script, and tumblr meta analysis. I think I did a reasonable enough job pretending I knew what I was doing.

Let's get going!

I knew off the top that it was going to be vignettes - they would give me room to spread the story over the long period of time it takes for a group of people to grow into something resembling a family. Like I said in the original author's note, there was supposed to be more of the early, snippy days - but I got so focused on making them kinder that I found I couldn't properly write a fight. In hindsight, it probably would have been easier if I tried writing that first, but, well. Once I realized that it was too late. The alphabet idea came later, once I had them all finished: I wanted to organize them somehow, but numbers felt too open, too infinite - closing the story on an organizational endpoint was just really satisfying.

a - Every good story needs a good beginning.

c - Starting with the end of Peter Pan is my sneaky way of slipping past the fact that I haven't seen the earlier shows! The Max and Sandra storyline is just so sweet, and I wanted to let it exist a little bit in between our jump from Peter Pan to Christmas Carol. This vignette came so easily when I wrote it and I love love love the feelings and the tentativity about the whole thing.

f - This was actually the last vignette I wrote. I realized I needed some front-end padding because otherwise my angst plot came rather abruptly, and what better way? At this point, too, I was trying to bring in POVs from each one of our characters, and when deciding on Trevor's POV I thought the exasperation-excitement combination would be an excellent choice. It turns out Trevor is my favourite to write, mostly because I can find his voice a lot easier than some of the others - and probably also because I hold a lot of fondness and nostalgia for stage crew work. Also, I wrote most of this one on a long evening walk in the notes app on my phone. Fun fact.

h - I did my original idea slam in a draft tumblr post, and this one just says "birthday party but one without all the drama of christmas carol". And what do you know, that's exactly what it is! I definitely took the birthday party (in CCGW as well as in this fic) as a kind of proof that they really do like each other, if they're doing things like this and if they want to do things like this - and that theme of okay, they want to be here formed the basis for this part. I think it's exceptionally sweet that Dennis came looking for friends and ended up finding, well, something. And I popped in a little MMNI reference with "one of the Janines" - Backwards Janine? Frontwards Janine? Original Janine? Who knows! It's one of them!

l - The thing about this plot is that it's actually one of the first ideas I had when dreaming up this fic, and I couldn't quite let it go. The point was, what if I somehow split them up? How can they get on when half the society is out of commission? And the most reasonable way I could find to actually get half of them out of commission was the car accident. To be honest, this one is mostly filler - it's also the second vignette I wrote, and it found its birth in the email drafts of my work laptop.

m - Trying to map out this little plotline without overdoing it might have been the most difficult part of this fic, and I'm still not 100% sure I succeeded. This is our explanation for the unease from the vignette above, and it took me 3 rewrites before I finally found something that settled in my brain. "Dennis gets chased by a goose" might be one of my favourite lines in the fic though.

Also, putting these letters right next to each other made me feel really clever for no reason.

n - My Jonathan perspective also took a few stutter-steps in its beginning, but this one ultimately came from the promo video's reveal that Robert and Dennis live together, and me playing with the continual idea of the remaining cast members being rather unmoored in their injured castmates' absence. Robert in particular because I love his character and I love making him Feel Things(TM) (fun hint: this will also be a small theme in the new cpds fic I have in the works!) and I want to see so much from this odd relationship between him and Dennis. Obviously they have to tolerate each other if they are willingly roommates - how far can I go with that? I love how this one turned out.

o - All I have to say about this one is that I still really love the sweetness between these two, and they deserve the world. Also, at some point during writing this I was really caught up with how striking Dave's face silhouette is (don't ask) so that ended up making it in somehow.

q - Girls' Night is SO important to me. After all the work they've done to make these gals friends I needed to capture it, and a pleasant night in just made a lot of sense. This one is the home of a few of my headcanons - Annie has a chef roommate and Max does a lot of the cooking, thus the "neither of us are the usual household cooks" comments, and I also think they're at the point where they can joke about their previous failures (especially with these three together) so the nod to A Trial To Watch (my favourite gws episode) was so fun. Also, Waking Ned really is a silly pick-me-up of a movie - would recommend. Special thanks to CBC for giving us Canadians quality British TV alongside our occasionally questionable homegrown programming.

r - It wouldn't be a fic about progress and growth with this crew without a disheartening moment turned into gold. I wrote this one while barbecuing, another fun fact, and no joke the hardest part was figuring out what to name the play they were doing. I kept pace with the whole "Jonathan can't get onscreen" gag, which was personally hilarious and made me cackle as I wrote it, and the rest of it just felt good. I will always have a soft spot for comfort and reassurance in a story and getting to write it has just been an absolute delight.

t - This was one of my other unplanned vignettes. It was originally to fill out Robert's POV, but also to express a bit of how things have changed in Chris's attitude towards his cast - if there's one thing I would change from Mischief's characerisation thus far, it's this brand of almost-kindness that I consistently need to write him with. It takes the aftermath of the car accident and uses it to kind of make him understand - this is a valuable group of people and I don't want to lose it. But of course he's not the type of person to actually express that in any way, so I thought the frenetic hovering was a good way to get the point across. As well, the kind-of-bonding between Chris and Robert - the two of them are such powerhouses of insistent personality that conflict so easily but they've also got a more secret kind of friendship that deserves to be explored a little more. I really like this vignette and how it ended up portraying how they are around each other, how they really do know each other, especially when they're not fighting. Makes me soft.

w - This is the first vignette I wrote! I honestly didn't realize until writing this just how much I identify with Annie - best of both worlds re. crew and cast, a bit of tenacity regarding getting through things, overall personality - I just love her so so much. She also seems like the most sensible of the cast, so the collective "why are we really here?" moment with Trevor really spoke to me. I love their friendship, I love the kind of quiet vibe this vignette gives off - this is one of the ones I can feel most strongly, the one I can step into and exist inside. I also spent most of my old drama rehearsals and classes without shoes, so that had to make it in just by virtue of the sock brigade (me).

z - One thing I knew for sure since the inception of the fic was that it needed to end on a victory. I took the images I had of this victorious adrenaline, everyone together having a good time, kind of getting smashed, and karaoke (I really wanted the karaoke, for some reason) and went the obvious route: the wedding. Ending on Chris POV also felt so right - possibly because he's the one with the most growth in this fic - and getting to finally feel this triumph with him after all these other trials and tribulations was an absolute joy. The wedding hall, in my head, looks like the one my cousin used (it was at a zoo... my sister and I went on a night walk and heard a lot of screaming peacocks) and I definitely threw all my wistfulness, all my love for the characters I'd developed, and all my love for this fantastic fandom into this part. The incorrect lyrics that Annie sings are exactly what I think every time I hear that song, because I've never looked up the lyrics before and my brain likes to play Mad Libs with my super-questionable auditory processing. And the image of the ballroom staff getting really exasperated with them and shutting all the lights off came to me at night and is hastily scribbled on a sticky note (it's a wonder it's legible) but I still strongly believe that it's the perfect, perfect way to end. I still get the warm feelings when I reread this part, even now, after so many reads.

And, finally - our end quote is exactly what started this whole thing. What is this drama society if not a rough beginning? But the concept that we'll make it through, that we can just take a step and then another and it'll be okay because we're together... it's hard to describe just how much it means to me, to my place in the world, to the world itself. I think one of my rather consistent aims in writing, no matter what it is, is to be able to have this collective - characters that become family, people that are important to each other, this constellation to lean on - because it's all I can say for the human experience. It's probably quite a bit of wishful thinking (as I said to another friend, "I am apparently letting loose on all my repressed social feelings of the past year and shoving them into fics") and a sort of subconscious confirmation that if I write it, I can be it. So this force of understanding and kindness and ultimately good people helping each other through the world is something I can't help but include, something that means the absolute world to me.

I'm so glad to have been able to share this fic with everyone, and extra glad that it's been able to touch some people along the way. I've found such an incredible community in Mischief and coincidentally I think The Keep Going Song represents that warmth, too - the community I've been so lucky to exist inside, how we're helping each other along, step by step. What a beautiful thing to be a part of! Thank you for reading and allowing me to give you a bit of my heart. 💖💖

#director's cut #the keep going song

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yanderehellhole · 4 years

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Victim

Shinra Kusakabe × GN!Escaped!Reader

Summary | You finally escape from Shinra, but your joy is shortlived. How sad.

Warnings | death, yandere themes, demonization

Notice | I do not condone any of the inappropriate behavior in my writings, nor do I consent to my writings being posted on other sites.

Devin Notes | Had to rewrite this five times because Tumblr just kept dying on me. I planned on doing general headcanons for Shinra but I had this concept idea and I couldnt let it passs me by! Requests are open, please give me feedback!

You were a victim.

A victim of what? Circumstance? Luck?

No, you were a victim of love. That sounds like an exaggeration, but it was every bit true. His love was dangerous. He was delusional. He was akin to the devil.

And that devil was named Shinra Kusakabe.

The man in question was looking down on you now. You came towards the alleyway because this was themeeting place. An old friend of yours was going to let you stay until you got your bearings. But that wasn't anything less than a fantasy, you knew as much when the smell of smoke filled the air around you. It was quick and suffocating, It felt like it was trying to kill you, save you from the hell this demon was going to trap you in.

Your eyes bore into your friend’s corpse ahead of you. They were supposed to save you. They were supposed to hide you from him. It took you so long to go through with your plan. Everything you worked for was gone. All those nights plotting, being on your best behavior for him was all thrown down the drain as blood pooled around the cadaver of your friend. You didn't understand why you hadn't looked away yet. Why your hand was clasped over your mouth as you cried in silence. Why you thought Shinra wouldn't find you. You couldn't do anything other than stare in silent shock. It felt like time had stopped then. That all life ceased and only left you and your friend. Like reality was slipping as you tried to grasp that your friend was no longer here, that they were dead. That you couldn't be saved. And that it was his fault. Why would he do something like this? Why? Why? Why?

“_-_____…”

Shinra started slowly, your name coming out as a stutter yet it was all you needed to center you back down to earth. His crimson orbs stuck onto you as the smile was stretched across his features. He was tense. You felt disgusted, insulted and something you couldn’t place. How can he be tense? When it was your friend lying dead on the ground and not one of his?

“I was saving you, you gotta believe me, _____.”

He tried to reassure you with his soft tone. It felt patronizing, as if he was truly saving you. As if he was the hero you needed just in the nick of time. Like you needed your friend to be murdered to save you. You didn't know what sin you committed to The Great Sol to see this. What iniquity you did to force his hand like this. You wracked your brain on what you did, on what your friend did to deserve that.

A soft crunch was sounded ahead of you. Finally, your eyes tore from the deceased body of your friend, seeing a worried, but smiling Shinra. Your captor's arms outstretched towards you, step after step he got closer. And step by step you backed away, shaking your head at him. You didn't want to touch him. You took this time to look at him, really look at him. His onyx hair looked as messy as ever, his toned body was slightly shaking, and his smoking feet were in a pool of blood. Your stomach lurched, your eyes focusing on the scarlet liquid caking his feet and the ground beneath and around him. You couldn't bring yourself to say anything, your emotions and urge to vomit stopped your voice from even presenting itself. All you felt was betrayal, disgust, and overall fear. Your feet shuffled backward, still silent by the horrors you were witnessing.

"C'mon, _____... don't be like that.. I did this for you. For us!"

His voice held it's stone from before but it was slicked with something you couldn't place. Was he trying to comfort you? Reason with you? Did he really think this was okay? He was at least lucid enough to know what he did was messed up right? That murder was wrong, especially that of innocents? You didn't want to be here, you didn't feel safe, not with him. Your head hurt, your body felt heavy, it was so much to take. The blood, the smoke, the iron smell, it was too much. Him and his love was too much.

So you ran.

“S-Stay away from me!”

You yell out at him, backing towards the street behind you.. You dashed towards the outside of the alleyway, pushing yourself to get faster than you ever could. You heard the sound of a fire starting, like a candle flickering to life but much louder. You felt a shiver overcome you. Nerves telling you that something bad came with that sound. That you needed to get out the way of him, if you didn't, you'd be caught. And that's everything but what you needed. You immediately dropped to the ground. Ducking as you felt heat pass you over your head. You didn't waste time, you didn't have time to waste. You needed to leave. You push yourself to turn towards the back of the alleyway since that demon had flown in your original path. It felt like you couldn't breathe, Like air refusing to enter your lungs, like everything was against you. You wanted nothing but to get away from him, to never be near him or his love again.

Yet, The Great Sol wasn't on your side now was he?

You felt something knock the rest of the wind out your lungs. Slamming you onto the street that was once under your feet. You thrashed, trying to move away and turn from the person you didn't want to be near. The person that filled you with those emotions you felt before, but now you knew what that feeling was.

It was Despair.

That's what that feeling that was pooling in your stomach. The dread of knowing you were hopeless. You felt foolish for even thinking you could get away. That you were stupid for trying to run from this demon.

“Hey, Hey, Hey. There’s no need to be scared, I'd never hurt you, and neither will anyone else!”

Just hearing his voice made you want to sock him in his face. You have to look at him to know he was smiling. To know that somehow he was nervous. You wanted to cry, to scream, to kick, punch, scratch, and burn him. Just to get him away from you.

“You really scared me for a sec, babe. Looks like there weren't enough locks, huh?”

His arms pulled you up with him as he sat up, pushing you towards his chest as he nuzzled into the crook of your neck. You didn bother to move, you felt exhausted, overwhelmed and helpless.

“Don't be so down, _____! Take this as a lesson. That pipsqueak couldn't possibly protect you like I can! It’s a lesson that you need a hero! And aren't you so lucky that I came to the rescue?”

He spoke with such confidence you'd think he was a hero. You could at least agree you needed one. A hero that could save you from him. From his overbearing protection, and delusional pep talks. You needed to be saved from him, not by him.

Because you were a victim.

A victim of love.

#yandere fire force #fire force x reader #yandere Shinra #yandere shinra kusakabe #shinra x reader #shinra kusakabe #Shinra kusakabe x reader #yandere enen no shouboutai

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yeats-infection · 4 years

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@sqvalors tagged me in a lil writing meme... if you’d like to participate please do and tag me!

ao3 name: fluorescentgrey but i also post some things as drglass (dr. glass is the second song on the fluorescent grey EP by deerhunter, so if i make another pseud it will be likenew, then washoff, etc.)

fandoms: about two thirds of my fics are harry potter or star wars but there are a lot of random little goodies. currently i have shifted into the terror (2018) mode.

number of fics: 59 right now... i will throw a party when i get to 69...

fic i spent the most time on: this is funny because some of these technically took me like six months or more of working on them extremely intermittently... namely, bone machine. the series in the garden has taken me the most time generally... and in that, minuet did take me several months of working really hard while i had a schedule / commute that was not conducive to having a creative practice...

fic i spent the least amount of time on: hilariously, literally my most popular fic by ninety miles, the witcher PWP that i wrote out of spite in two or three hours.

longest fic: the source codes series... particularly heelstone which is 102k. i wrote these two stories in a single summer like a crazy person and i hate talking about them because i find them WAY too gooey. honestly, that’s why they are so long. it’s all the gooeyness!!!!!!

shortest fic: yes, the answer is the witcher porn again (this silly thing is going to be the answer for many other questions in this little meme but i’m just going to stop talking about it while i’m ahead). the west end is just about 50 words longer and is much better and is a much better and more interesting story.

most hits: we’re just going to pretend it’s sex and dying in high society, which has the second most hits. this is certainly due to the fact that @wolfstarwarehouse hypes this story a lot for which i am endlessly grateful!

most kudos: recovery position has the second most kudos so let’s go with that one! i have been very touched by the response to this story, though i do personally like the sequel beachcoma a little more... i understand why not everyone wants to read it because it is a little more bittersweet. but it also comes from my soul.

most comment threads: the two stories in the source codes series are leading here, because i only posted two chapters at a time so that i would get maximal validation, lol.

most bookmarks: in order to talk about a story i haven’t talked about yet, the rosary has the fourth-most. i think this fic is truly my r/s swan song... i said everything i wanted to say and did everything i wanted to do. it’s a really good mystery/noir story that i didn’t think i could pull off until i did! and i love the OCs in it who have sort of manifested these secret headcanons for me that i may expostulate upon someday. thank you to @piovascosimo for the inspiration to write it.

total word count: 1,000,478. lol!

favorite fic i wrote: cannot possibly choose but probably the top five in order of date posted are: desperado, a handful of dust, doom town, beachcoma, jump into the fire

fic i’d rewrite / expand on: i already said all of source codes because it’s way too gooey, i also could make hard time killing floor blues a lot tighter, and a memoir of the flesh deserves a way better ending because i was rushing to make the yuletide deadline...

share a bit of a WIP: i was trying for a while to write a band of brothers AU where they are vietnam vets who start growing cannabis... based on the steve earle song “copperhead road.” this could have been SO good but the plot was too huge and unwieldy so i gave up. my roommate is obsessed with this idea and keeps asking me how it’s going so i may yet finish. but there’s a bit below the cut.

The knock at the door in the night was a sharp shock, bright as lightning, that sent them both back to Khe Sanh and before. Nix ducked. Dick went behind the doorframe. They kept low into the kitchen, where Nix took his old officer’s pistol out from where he kept it hidden behind the fridge. Then they went to the door, keeping to the edges of the hallways.

On the porch was Liebgott. He could have made his own way in likely right onto the couch without either of them noticing, so it was something that he had knocked on the goddamn door. It was particularly something given that none of the boys from Easy should have known about the grow operation, or even about Dick’s farm, being as Dick’s address on file at the V.A. was a post office box in town and Nix’s was still in Jersey. These considerations were nil to somebody who had spent the better part of five years in the bush of Vietnam. He took a last draw from his cigarette and put it out against the rubber sole of his boot, then he put the butt in his pocket. As far as Nix knew, he hadn’t said a word since January 1970.

“Joe,” said Dick diplomatically. He put his hand out and Liebgott took it. Then he took Nix’s. He had handsome dark eyes, but they were full of a wall. You could tell he saw you, but it was like nothing followed the necessary channels to the brain to spur emotional response. It had been like this even while he was still talking, and after a while you got used to it.

“You comin' in,” said Nix, knowing he probably would even if he wasn’t invited.

Inside, they all three sat at the kitchen table in silence nobody was about to break. Finally Dick got up and went to the drawer where they kept the rollies and their share of the product. He passed a sheaf of papers and a film canister full of bud to Liebgott across the table. Nix understood as well as Dick apparently did that there would be no getting anything over on this kid, who had eyes in the back and sides of his head. He’d probably had a nice tour of the property before coming inside. “You hungry, son,” Dick said.

Liebgott shook his head. He extracted one of the buds from the canister and inspected it. They did look mighty good if Nix said so himself. They looked artful in Liebgott’s hand. There were black scabs across his knuckles and a dark rime of filth under those fingernails which still existed. He seemed satisfied enough with what he saw to take a paper out of the sheaf and start shredding the flower into it.

“Captain Nixon calls it Easy Diesel,” said Dick, like he was trying to pretend it wasn’t the funniest thing in the world.

Liebgott looked up and a smile flashed across his face like the savage golden light of a flare falling over the far hills. His smile was sort of brutal, like the edge of a knife in a barfight, or like a seething animal. Luckily it went away as quickly as it had come. He rolled the joint with a quick grace and lit the business end with his old silver Zippo Nixon hadn’t seen since the war. There was a skull engraved on one side and on the other it read IF YOU ARE RECOVERING MY BODY, FUCK YOU.

“I don’t know how you found us, Joe,” Dick said thoughtfully. “You don’t have to… tell us. But we ain’t exactly keen to have just anybody here.” He paused and looked quickly to Nix, who tried to make it abundantly clear by means of eyebrows that he wasn’t sure they ought to go down this road, wherever it was leading. Dick ignored him. Liebgott was watching them, fully understanding their attempted clandestine exchange. “We ain’t exactly keen to have the DEA here,” Dick said at last.

The cherry at the end of the joint atomized with a crackling hiss. Liebgott looked between Dick and Nix with extreme seriousness sullied only by his exhaling a dignified white cloud out his nose. Then he nodded, once, curtly, demonstrating he understood his orders as they had been relayed.

Nix flashed Dick what he thought was a what have you done type look. But Dick looked totally unbothered. He should have gone into this business years ago for how violently unflappable he was. He said to Liebgott, “I’ll get some blankets and you can make up the couch.”

Liebgott shook his head to say no need. He got up, careful not to scrape the chair against the floor, shook each of their hands again, and in less than a minute’s time he was back out the door with nothing more than what he’d come in with except the joint.

Nix and Dick, on the porch, listening to the crickets, watched him disappear into the darkness.

“Are we hallucinating,” said Nix eventually.

“I sure as hell hope not,” Dick replied. “We’ve got to ship all that product or we’ll starve.”

In the morning Nix was in the field, inspecting the plants. Liebgott was standing there at his quarter for god knew how long before he cleared his throat and Nix jumped about six feet in the air. There was a smirk shifting across Liebgott’s face that he would have been better about hiding when Nix had been his commanding officer. He looked like he hadn't slept. Back over there he had looked like that a lot, but it had been different, because of all the uppers they were taking. He cocked his head back over toward the long driveway and then he was off across the dew-wet grass which had already soaked through the hems of his canvas pants and his destroyed shoes.

Nix followed, like a duckling behind a hen. Liebgott still walked as though there were eyes in all sides of his head quickly processing information as he moved. Nix doubted you ever lost that kind of skill, even if in the real world it made you look like a mental patient. He caught up so they could walk side by side through the dew-wet grass. “What did you think,” he asked Liebgott.

Liebgott passed Nix the universal sign of furrowed brow that meant please clarify.

Nix gestured with pinched fingers to his own mouth as though Liebgott were also deaf. “The grass.”

He shaped his hand into an a-ok sign.

“You get any sleep?”

He nodded an infinitesimal nod, like the answer was a secret just for Nix to know.

“Well if you think it could be better just tell me how.”

Nix had had a high school friend whose sister was deaf from scarlet fever and whom he had watched on occasion communicate with her by means of sign language. Early on, back over there, he had sent off to command for a book, but by the time it came he understood it wasn’t that Liebgott couldn’t speak, he just didn’t want to. It was something like how people’s hair supposedly turned white if they witnessed some evil thing, or how people became ascetics in the name of god. If you were really fucked up on drugs or fear or otherwise, or if the natural magical thinking from childhood hadn’t been fully beaten out of you, you might have seen it as the sacrifice he had given to the forest for letting him out without a scratch so many goddamn times. It had been a bit of a trial to explain this to Spiers, who was practical almost to a fault, sometimes.

Liebgott showed another a-ok sign. Then he did a thumbs up which Nix knew meant it was good.

All in all it was smart. If he was still talking, Nix might have asked him, what have you been up to? You been sleeping on the street? You been to the V.A.? What did they tell you? And the answer would’ve been nothing good. Instead they just walked in the cool grass together in the sunshine and the morning was beautiful, and the air was sweet. It was all lovely until Liebgott had to physically stop him, laughing, somehow silently but also hysterically, from stepping right onto the razor-thin tripwire stretched invisibly across the dark gravel.

In the kitchen, Dick was doing the numbers. He took his glasses off when Nix came in and put the coffee on. “He learned a thing or two from Charlie,” Nix said, leaning against the counters.

“Who, Joe?”

“Our driveway is thoroughly ratfucked.”

“Hmm,” said Dick. He put the glasses back on and turned back to the accounting book. He was going to do this whole thing as above board as was humanly possible. The vivid daylight came through the window and struck the lens of his unstylish Ray-Bans and threw a kind of prism of color upon the white paper and the chicken-scratch sums. Nix felt like maybe this was something you would paint if you had the necessary implements and artistic ability. “Maybe we should see if we can get any more help.”

He was mildly ashamed to say it, but the doc had always kind of creeped Nix out. He imagined a hypothetical conversation with Dick, who he knew loved the kid, almost like a son: Listen, don’t get me wrong, he’s a good kid, I owe him my life, yadda yadda. But either he’s dropped the brown acid one too many times or the voodoo exorcism went FUBAR.

The doc had arrived on the farm on the heels of Sunshine and Rainbows, aka Mr. Bright Eyed and Bushy Tailed, aka one Edward “Babe” Heffron. Nix had written Babe in South Philly, being as he was a connoisseur of bud and once upon a time had been famed among their company for smoking anything anyone put in his hand, often to his own detriment. The operation was getting big enough that Nix needed another pair of hands, other than Liebgott, of course, who was still fortifying the long driveway whilst giving away his cover by playing Led Zeppelin IV as loudly as was possible. It was a tough calculation, because Babe was a genius of pot, but he couldn’t keep a damn secret, and lo and behold he had dragged along with him a dark shadow in the human form of Eugene Roe. They came up the driveway in a big old Ford pickup that rattled its rust off in the potholes. Liebgott had dismantled the traps specially for their arrival when they had called from Williamsport to say they were an hour out.

“I figured we could use a medical professional to lend some credibility to the operation,” said Babe thoughtfully, sparking a joint on the porch over sweating jam jars of iced tea.

Roe snorted or something but it wasn’t really a normal person’s self-effacing laugh. Winters clapped his back. Nixon knew Roe had dropped out of medical school after two years but there was no need to say anything. Everyone knew that. Now he was working construction and Babe claimed to be working as a mechanic in a garage, but this seemed suspect given the state of the car they had driven up in.

“Well we sure as hell are glad you boys are here,” said Dick magnanimously.

Babe exhaled an opaque cloud that rivaled Nix’s own father’s ability with a stogie. “Can we see the bush?”

They went out all together to the field and ducked between the rows of corn. Babe knelt in the soil. It was damp with dew and quiet in here. It would have been almost like over there except it smelled good. “What’s the cross,” Babe said, inspecting the plants.

“It’s an indica blend…”

“Well, I can tell that,” he said.

“So you’re an expert on the plant now too?”

“I’ve just smoked an awful lot of joints in my life, Captain Nixon.”

Roe snorted again. When they all looked to him he said, “You said in the letter there was some kind of altruistic reason for all this.”

“It’s medicine, Gene,” Babe said gently, but also like they had had this conversation thirty thousand times. Nix filed away for later the intimation that Roe had read the letter he’d sent Babe at home in South Philadelphia.

“I guess you don’t remember the psychic break you had at the Do Lung Bridge.”

Babe waved this remark off, even though Nix remembered it too. It threw a chill down his back, like a water balloon had hit him at the base of his neck. “That was laced,” Babe said.

“With what!”

“I don’t know! Something bad!” Babe turned to Dick and Nix. “Gene’s teetotal,” he said, like this was a big old point of contention.

So that counted out the bad acid. Maybe he was just like this. Maybe he had had those big sad bug eyes as a child or an infant or a fetus in the womb. “Good on you, Doc,” Nix said.

“I ain’t trying it,” Roe said, folding his arms over his narrow chest, “no matter what it does.”

The doc was a tough cookie. Babe had claimed, over there, about as high as the Byrds song, that the doc came from a long line of the kind of folks described in Dr. John’s “Gris-Gris Gumbo Ya Ya” and that, as such, he could heal wounds with his mind. When it didn’t work, as on the night when Jackson died, or the night when Hoobler died, or in the forest when Muck and Penkala died, or the night when Liebgott stopped speaking, he went to sit for a while on the edge of camp until Dick went over and made him eat something. Nix watched them in a state of confused envy, and then he went to write the letters to the families, so that Dick wouldn’t have to.

At dusk, after they ate a light dinner of corn on the cob and rice and beans, he took the boys up into the hayloft with an armful of blankets. “Sorry this is the best we got,” he said. He had said that about a hundred god damn times since they got here.

Roe looked like he wanted to say, you’ve got to stop apologizing for everything. Instead he said, “Where does Lieb sleep.”

Babe perked up. “Joe’s here?”

“You didn’t see him in the driveway?”

Nix sighed. “He’s gonna want to know what he did wrong that you saw him,” he said.

“Does he still — ”

Nix shook his head. “Not a peep.”

In a couple days time, he couldn’t take it anymore, and he was hot and tired and stoned, up to his elbows in earth in the field, showing Babe how to replant the hatchlings he’d grown from seed. “You guys room together or what?”

“Me and Gene?” Babe’s eyes were red in the corners from smoking and from the sun. “What about you and Dick?”

Dick, who had the radio on inside turned up as loud as it would go, so that they would hear it in the field, playing Crosby Stills and Nash doing “Suite: Judy Blue Eyes.” “What about me and Dick?” said Nix.

Babe was a smart kid. He realized this was going nowhere. With muddy hands he popped one of the seedlings out of its little pot and cradled it into the ground. “Well, I think he thinks he’s looking after me, but in actuality, I am looking after him.”

#my fic #asks

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nblesbianbenhanscom · 4 years

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Will you get mad at me if I ask you to answer ALL of the fanfic Day questions because I just really enjoy your writing and I want to know everything I can. ♡.♡

OMGosh Lock, lol. Nah, I’ll answer them all. Lol.

It got long, surprise surprise, so I put it all under the cut.

What is your favorite fic you have under your belt?

I mean, the all time favorite one I’ve written is It Was Only a Kiss from my Teen Wolf days because of all the emotional hurt/comfort.

For It, I think, other than Death Is Just So Full, it has to be I Want to Hold Your Hand. It’s a preslash reddie fic that’s just so fucking soft.

What is your favorite snippet of dialogue?

I... Have such a hard time remembering what I wrote once it’s up. Lol. I’m looking over my fics rn like..? I wrote this?

The only thing that’s coming to mind is from my unfinished steddie fic, Leaning Out for Love-

It will be a cold day in hell before I fuck someone in a public bathroom, Eddie told the voice.

What inspired Fresh Raviolis?

You! Lol. Um. If I’m not mistaken, I think that was another @dysregulardyke helped fic. I was going to try and write some angst, and it was like. I don’t wanna write angst. I also think I just really liked the idea of Stan being the needy one. Usually it’s the other two, but like Stan always seems so solid, or at least the way I write/interpret him.

Do you prefer writing long or short fics?

So. Dijsf is actually the longest fic I’ve finished. When Leaning Out for Love is done, it will probably be longer. Historically, I have written much shorter fics, the longest coming in around 40k. It just depends on my mood. I’ve been writing a lot of short fics/drabbles lately because I don’t have the emotional energy for the bigger ones and I get bored easily. I do need to get back to that steddie though. It’s so good.

What’s your favorite headcanon you use in fics?

I’m just gonna say it. It’s. It’s unpopular. I’ve been avoiding saying it out loud to anyone but Lou. I’ve vague posted about it A LOT, but like. It is a common theme in my writing...

Richie’s parents don’t like him. They don’t get him, they think he’s weird and a freak. They don’t like that he’s queer. They just want him to be Normal.

Do I appreciate fics where Richie’s parents are loving and caring and so forth? Yes. I’ve read lots of drabbles and short fics where Went and Maggie are great parents, love him, and support him, but like. That’s not what I saw. That’s not how I took it.

Richie’s parents aren’t in the movies/miniseries. We have absolutely no idea what they are like. In the book, from what I remember, they have zero idea as to how to handle him. I know, I know that just because a parent doesn’t know how to handle their kid doesn’t mean they don’t like him, but. *shrug*

I don’t know if it’s even a favorite headcanon, it’s just one that seems to come up a lot.

What’s the detail you wait on bated breath for readers to notice?

The stuff I want people to notice is almost always stuff my first readers don’t get, so it usually gets cut. Like in dijsf, I had a part where Richie was going over stuff in his head and was like “A happened, and 2 was wrong, and c none of the above,” type something and both Lou and my other friend were like THIS MUST BE CORRECTED, and I did a sad.

How much do you like symbolism in your fics?

I don’t? I am a chaotic writer. I do not use outlines. I just write. The closest I come to outlines is making a calendar but that’s filled in as I go so I can have some idea when things happened.

How often do people catch onto your little details?

I honestly have no idea? No one mentions anything. I think sometimes I ask Lou about stuff, but like my brain is so not remembering shit right now about little details that I may have wanted people to notice.

What’s the fic you like the least?

... My most popular It fic Not Gonna Lose Me. Like I have no idea why. It’s good, it’s really good. But... I don’t like it. I almost didn’t even publish it, but both Lou and my other friend were like, it’s a solid fic, so... ??? I have no idea.

What would you change if you had it all to do again?

... i killed stan in dijsf and i felt so guilty about it i started writing Leaning Out for Love.

Like, my friend was over halfway done editing when I was like, I should- I should rewrite this. I should rewrite this so Stan lives, because I love Stan and he deserves to live.

Lou had to tell me very firmly that the fic would not have been the same if I kept Stan alive, and let me tell you, Leaning Out for Love is SOOOOOO different. It’s like literal polar opposite.

What’s a fanfic idea you haven’t done yet?

Any of the Losers as trans, nonbinary, asexual, or aromantic. There’s... thoughts that swirl around, but I hesitate. I wrote a lot of stuff like that in my Teen Wolf days, and they were good and I know helped people, but like. I don’t know. I don’t know why I can’t quite do that here. I probably will someday though.

What’s the hardest thing to write for you?

Describing what things/people look like. I have no ideas. Also sex positions?? And often emotions.

Do you have a favorite character to write for?

Eddie. Eddie spaghetti. I love Eddie so much. He’s fucking everything. Stan and Richie are close seconds though.

What’s your favorite shipping fic you’ve written? Favorite gen fic?

If we focus on It and push dijsf aside, my favorite shipping fic is probably my streddie fic We Won’t Settle for Less. The proposal scene is just... pure delight, lol. My favorite gen fic is I Want to Hold Your Hand. It’s just... So Good. So pure. Like. Just Richie and Eddie going on their first (not) date when they both only kind of know it’s a date? I don’t know. It just warm fuzzies.

Give us a snippet of something from your WiPs!

Have something from Leaning Out for Love-

Eddie smiled a little as he leaned up against a tree. He bit his lip as he looked around. He still couldn’t believe how much had and hadn’t changed in the Barrens. Stan leaned close to Eddie but didn’t touch him. Eddie grabbed his sleeve to pull him close, but Stan pulled away, shaking his head.

“No, talk to me,” Stan said.

Eddie shrugged a little. “There’s nothing to tell.”

“Clearly.”

“What? What do you want me to say? That I’m fucking terrified that I’m a disappointment? That I’m scared that you don’t actually like me? That I’ll never be good enough for this? For- For-” Eddie yelled, his voice raising with each word. He wrapped his arms around himself as he stared down at his feet. Stan didn’t say anything, just stood there watching him. “For you,” he whispered. He took a deep breath and chanced a look up at Stan who was just watching him, clearly lost for words. “Well are you going to say something?” Eddie snapped despite himself.

Stan opened his mouth and closed it. He started to reach for Eddie but stopped.

“Eddie, you’re- You don’t need to put so much pressure on yourself,” Stan said. “You’re one of the best people I know.”

Eddie huffed. “Yeah, I’m really fucking great.” He shook his head. “I live with my fucking- with fucking Sonia. I don’t even have a fucking job or savings! I’m a twenty-four year old gay man who’s most serious relationship was with a woman just like my mom!” He laughed again. “Real fucking catch.” Breathing hard, he looked down at his feet again.

“Hey!” Stan growled. He grabbed Eddie’s face roughly, his fingers digging into Eddie’s cheeks so Eddie would look up at him. “You are great. You are a catch. You are so fucking caring, and sweet, and hot. And strong.” Eddie tried to pull away, but Stan shifted, pushing him back. “You’re so fucking strong. You’re one of the strongest people I know. Yeah, life sucks right now. I get it. Mine does too. But it’s not going to suck forever.” A tear trickled down Eddie’s cheek. “It’s not going to suck forever.”

Eddie sucked in a deep breath. “I just- I don’t even know what I’m really doing here.”

“You’re doing your best,” Stan said gently. “And your best is good enough.” Eddie sighed, all the fight leaving his body, and he brought his hands up to Stan’s wrists.

#i'm not going to tag this #because reasons #but tysm #<3 #i really should get back to writing that steddie #it's so soft #thelxckblog

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bestworstcase · 4 years

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6, 7, and 9 for the Tangled ask meme!!

post-series questions

6. What did you think of Zhan Tiri as the big bad?

stares at blog Well,

watching season three was a bit of an exercise in managing expectations and constantly reminding myself that at the end of the day this is a children’s show on disney channel and they were never going to go as hard with the horrifying protean eldritch horror angle as i would have liked, but i’ve been super into zhan tiri as a concept since queen for a day and when i watched painter’s block for the first time i was delighted because it seemed like a pretty strong signal that zhan tiri wouldn’t be a one time deal; i love the lore and her eclectic aesthetic and her quirky followers and the gremlin baby look (shdhsfbdsh), i love the manipulative chessmaster angle.

also season three validated a lot of the way i wrote zhan tiri pre-season three; i had her pegged as a skillful manipulator and in once a handmaiden in particular… man, the bitter snow vibes were strong in handmaiden. and it’s a sort of small silly thing the way she introduces herself to rapunzel and cassandra by making them say her name gave me so much life because that’s how i did it in bitter snow too (and so did pathygen in strings which everybody should read) and i love winning

and when season three wasn’t validating my headcanons it was very politely leaving them untouched. i think the only zhan tiri headcanon of mine that season three broke was the specific nature of her manipulation of demanitus, wherein i imagined her betraying him first.

my one disappointment is with… sort of everything after she actually gets her hands on the drops. my favorite thing about zhan tiri throughout the rest of season three was that, despite her evidently having powers once she was released in cassandra’s revenge,* she still relied on manipulation to get what she wanted. she earned every single one of her wins by out-thinking, out-planning and out-maneuvering her opponents and i love that it’s so unclear whether being in the lost realm for two thousand years weakened her or if she just prefers to achieve her ends through cunning and artifice. also a boomerang is such a thematically perfect weapon for her to use because it requires precision, skill, and forethought and it attacks in ways and from angles that most people don’t think to defend.

(*she floats in cassandra’s revenge; teleports in race to the spire at least once and i think arguably twice [the spire appears to have only one entrance, and ziti either sneaks back in through it while rapunzel and eugene are right there, or she teleports in behind the staircase]; possibly teleports and possibly is invisible in tale of two sisters given how quickly she pops in and out and the fact that cass doesn’t see her even though she’s in cass’s line of sight when she slips the broken mirror into rapunzel’s bag; gives cass some kind of telepathic glimpse into her own mind in handmaiden and again, more implied teleporting and invisibility plus the grapes and potion which personally i think she just conjured; and in plus est en vous we see her shapeshift on a small scale when she goes full gremlin and hisses at rapunzel. plus there’s the recurring theme of her shadow appearing as the monster form.)

my absolute favorite zhan tiri moments are when, in race to the spire, she steals the key from rapunzel by throwing the boomerang directly underneath rapunzel’s hand, causing rapunzel to reflexively lift her hand into the returning flight path, allowing the boomerang to snatch the key on its way back; and the implication in plus est en vous that zhan tiri (1) knew cass didn’t trust her, (2) would react to this distrust by putting her in a rock cage, and (3) would forget to extend the rock cage through the floor on which it sat, and to counter this she picked up a vial of acid in the demanitus chamber hours before cass actually turned against her. both are small moments that suggest so much cleverness, foresight, ability to improvise, to use people’s strengths and weaknesses to her advantage, to always have a contingency plan. also it’s funny as hell

so when she got her hands on the drops, turned into a giant monster, and just clobbered everyone through raw brute strength… i mean, don’t get me wrong, that was cool and i loved every second of it but it was also, kind of, zhan tiri where did your brain go? and i know the point is that she gets what she wants and arrogantly assumes nobody can stand against her now, but the thing is… zhan tiri just spent a whole season running around in the tiny body of a six year old and relying on mundane methods and the occasional magical party trick to get what she wants so it does feel a little out of character to me that she would take this left turn into Raw Power Is The Only Thing That Matters when cleverness has always been her greatest asset.

then again if she had kept her brain she probably would have won so like +1 for the demonic idiot ball for saving the day lmao

bonus round: look at all my ziti discord emojis i love her SO MUCH

7. Do you have any post-series headcanons?

almost all of my non-zhan tiri headcanons revolve around bitter snow / the saporian cass au/rewrite thing i’m writing so i haven’t even begun to consider post-series headcanon stuff but i will say that immediately after the group shot at the end of plus est stalyan dumps brock and hooks up with caine and they run off and become pirate queens together and also sing a lot it’s a crime they didn’t let laura benanti sing

9. Pick your top 3 favorite songs from the series.

1. crossing the line

2. waiting in the wings

3. ready as i’ll ever be

#punziesdream #tts finale spoilers #rta #zhan tiri

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droewyn · 7 years

Text

Question Game!

I was tagged by @phlintandsteel!

rules:

1. answer the questions given by the person who tagged you

2. write 10 questions of your own and tag 10 people

1. Have you ever truly hated another human being?

Yes. My stepmom’s son. She raised him as a single mom, and while she didn’t have much of anything, she gave it all to him. He wanted to go to broadcasting school to be a radio DJ. She was terrified that he’d fail, but supported him anyway, and when he didn’t fail, she was his biggest fan. Then he met and married Old Southern Money, and became ashamed of his roots. He cut off all contact with her -- told her via fucking certified mail that she didn’t “do enough” for him and he wanted nothing more to do with her. Periodically he calls just to fuck with her brain, saying that he wants to talk, only to go off on her and belittle her. When his first kid was born, he invited her and my dad to the baptism, and when they flew down to New Orleans on their own dime he bitched her out and told her he didn’t want her there. Like he'd never intended for her to attend, he just wanted to humiliate her in person. We had her on suicide watch for weeks after that little trick. I've actually wondered if driving her to suicide is his goal. He is staggeringly cruel, an absolute waste of humanity, and the world would be so much better off without him in it. At least then my stepmom could have some goddamn closure and stop getting tortured every six months. I hope his wife has a billion affairs, gives him crotch rot, and leaves him for the mailman. I hope his kids grow up to break his heart. I’d also really like to kick his balls into his throat. Repeatedly.

... sorry. You asked. :/

2. How do YOU pronounce caramel?

CARE-uh-mel.

3. What was your first fandom?

Um. Okay, so, like. I'm old. Tumblr OldTM, but still. So I'm kind of not sure how to answer this question.

The first thing I went absolutely nuts over was My Little Pony. I was four, and there were these pastel unicorns and I. Had. To have. Them all.

The first thing I made up stories in my head about was Rainbow Brite.

The first thing I had headcanon for was She-Ra, Princess of Power. When the DVDs came out and I rewatched the series as an adult, I was genuinely shocked that the episode where Adora had to earn everyone's trust because hello, there's usually a step between "I've decided to quit being the enemy's greatest general" and "I accept the position of leadership in your rebellion", didn't actually exist. I still "remember" it vividly, and I'm not entirely convinced that there wasn't some history rewriting or parallel universe involved.

The first fanfiction I wrote was for Final Fantasy I. I wrote a Save Our Princess! flyer for some spelling test or something in sixth grade.

My first actual online fandom was Sailor Moon. I had a 2400 baud modem, and the tiny, distorted, 300x400 video of the Japanese opening credits took two days to download. Fanfiction.net didn't exist yet, never mind AO3. We had WEBRINGS. It was barbaric.

4. Guys in high heels, yes or no?

Doesn't do anything for me, but then I'm demi, and my boy has never been into that. You do you and don't worry about what I think.

5. Did you go to college, and if so, was it worth it?

I dropped out as a sophomore, so no. It was not worth it. I'm making decent money as an entirely self-taught Salesforce admin.

6. What is your favorite type of AU?

Something that gives me an entirely new experience while staying true to the characters. I've loved me some A/B/O, and I've also been utterly revolted by A/B/O. Ditto for soulmates, fake relationships, pretty much all of it. It's all the writer and their storytelling for me, not a specific setting.

...

OKAY FINE GIVE ME ALL THE LEVERAGE YOI AU IN THE WORLD AND I WILL BE SO HAPPY THERE I SAID IT

7. Would you hide your orientation/stay in the closet to get ahead in your career (I guess I’m assuming since this is tumblr that we’re all queer here)?

I joined the workforce in the late 1990's. Of course I have been in the closet at various workplaces, though much of it was less being concerned about possible advancement or lack thereof and more not wanting to deal with being the freak in the triad relationship. These days I'm open about being queer with my coworkers, though I have not laid out any actual details to anyone. Except for the one adorable little baby gay who worried that I might find some people's behavior shocking if I went to Detroit Pride this year. Then I was all oh sweetie you think I'm vanilla that's so cute let me tell you exactly how wrong you are.

8. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

So I take about a quarter cup of olive oil, right? The regular stuff, not EVOO; EVOO can't take being heated without losing flavor so there's no point in spending the extra money for the sake of being fancy. I grind up some salt and pepper with a mortar and pestle until it's super fine and add it to the oil, stirring so the particles are evenly suspended throughout. Then I crush about 4-6 cloves of garlic and add them. Yes, cloves. More than that if they're small. Next, I turn the stove on to the popcorn sweet spot (just past the 7 line on my range) and add a single kernel of corn. When that pops, it’s time to add the rest of the popcorn, about a half cup. It has to be kept moving! I use one of those hand-cranked popcorn kettles that lets me continually stir; if I don't have that it's shaking the (lidded) pot like a savage and trying not to get burned by escaping steam. When the popcorn is done, it gets dumped in a very large bowl and sprinkled immediately with powdered parmesan cheese so that the remaining oil will allow the cheese to stick to the popcorn. Sometimes I add some fresh chives if I'm feeling precious.

That is my favorite popcorn, and it is the fucking bomb.

9. What character do you think deserved a better redemption arc (or to get one when they didn’t)?

Actually, I'm going to go back to my She-Ra headcanon from above. I know it was a child's cartoon from the 1980's. But even when I was a child I understood that some transgressions are just too big for "Whoops, sorry I was like brainwashed and stuff" to cut it. She needed trials, tribulations. She needed to earn her place. Earn the right for redemption. I'd love to see a take on the series that digs into that. (That and the Hordak/Adora relationship. Why the fuck did he raise her to be innocent when keeping her that way was so much trouble? Was she a trophy? Was she the one good thing in his life? If so, why did he make her fight for him? Did he ever care for her at all? These questions should keep her up at night. She should be torn between hatred and love for the father figure she thought she'd had. IT WOULD BE SO DELICIOUS)

10. What element would you choose if you could bend/control ONE.

Carbon. I'd basically have control over everything organic and RULE THE WORLD MUA HA HA HA HA

I’m tagging the following people (entirely voluntary, of course):

@mercury01, @minttytea, @doesitlooklikeineedanotherfandom, @silvercrystal1, @basedpandesal, @cinnamonviking, @spideypool-snarryalways, @planeoftheeclectic, @ihaveacrappyusername, and all of the porn bots.

My questions:

1. What would your ideal T-shirt slogan read?

2. What is your comfort food, activity, and/or piece of clothing, and why?

3. Which fandom are you the most proud to be part of? Which fandom are you ashamed of? They can be the same fandom.

4. Name one thing about yourself that you like. This must be genuine. NO SIDESTEPPING, SELF-NEGGING, OR BACKHANDED SHIT. IF I CAN DO IT YOU CAN.

5. Do you have any traditions in your family that you’ve inherited and are happy to carry forward? Are there any traditions that you’d like to start yourself?

6. What are your pet(s) name(s)? If you don’t have a pet, what would you name your fantasy pet?

7. What of yours would you like archaeologists (alien or future humans; your choice) to dig up one day? Why?

8. You’ve done all of those “What’s your porn/writer/Star Wars/etc name” memes. We all have. What’s your favorite one?

9. What song summarizes you?

10. What’s your superpower? Will you be a hero or a villain?

BONUS QUESTION BECAUSE MY HUSBAND WANTS TO CONTRIBUTE BUT IS A SMARTASS:

11. If Richard the Lionheart had actually taken his shit seriously, do you think he could have spanked Saladin, or did existing socioeconomic and political conditions doom his Crusade to failure?

#question game #phlintandsteel #tumblr game #original content #i kind of want to answer my own questions now #personal stuff #question 1 basically sums up why i'm a slytherin btw #i try to be kind #but nice is situational #and DO NOT FUCK WITH MY TRIBE

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