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collecting-stories · 3 years

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I Feel it all Over - t. 04 - JJ Maybank

Summary: Kiara surprises you at church and you spend the day with her, JJ, and Pope.

A/N: If you haven't ever listened to them...can I just highly recommended listening to The Maine (whose album You Are Ok this is based on)? They’re music is amazing...You Are Ok, American Candy, and Pioneer are probably my favorite albums of theirs. Plus they did an incredible cover of Watermelon Sugar...if you’re a fan of Harry Styles.

You Are Ok Masterlist | Outer Banks Masterlist

✞ I swear to every god I feel everything tonight with you ✞

New patrons to the church were usually whole families that came to services, whose fathers or mothers agreed your father’s lesson and felt drawn to the “community” of the Baptist denomination. They responded to the clickbait phrases and did feel lost in their everyday life. It was very rare that any new member, or anyone testing the church out for the first time, would be a single person, a teenager far removed from the beliefs and traditions of the church. But there was Kiara, walking up the few steps into the vestibule. She wasn’t here because of any lost feelings; she was here because she wanted to get to know you more. What JJ had told her, and what she had seen for herself on Friday, was someone that she definitely wanted to be friends with.

She had no bet to dictate how or when she became friends with you. She slipped into the line of people entering the church, catching sight of you standing by the door handing out pamphlets for that morning’s service. Making sure she was at the end of the line, she waved as she approached, happy to see you.

“What are you doing here?” You asked, glancing into the church before giving her a quick hug. If your parents or any other family saw they would ask how you knew this complete stranger and why you seemed so friendly with someone who had never been to the church before.

“JJ stole you on Friday,” she shrugged, “thought maybe we could hang out after church?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, a story already formulating in your head to tell your parents. Your mother always said that a lie was the devil on your tongue and the first time she’d said it you were convinced that the devil had taken out real estate because you lied constantly, and with ease. Sometimes just to see if you could get away with it. “That would be amazing.”

As far as friends went, you had very few. Your main source of companionship had come from your brothers and sisters, other friends were just acquaintances from youth group or church retreats that you never really felt any deeper connection with. The further away from the fold you felt, the less you found a community for yourself. You had been doubting for so long now that anything within the church felt like a show you were putting on for other people’s amusement, the emotions weren’t real and niether were you.

JJ wasn’t the first boy you had ever let yourself like but he was the first person you had ever felt comfortable being yourself around. There was no fear of judgement or rejection with him, nothing you said was turned into a weapon to make you feel guilty or unworthy, you didn’t have to pretend to be someone you weren’t. You had been nervous to meet his friends, feeling so different from them, but Kiara and Pope had been nice, welcoming, and all you felt was ease. Even now, seeing Kiara had put a more genuine smile on your face than seeing your family visiting for church.

“I wore my best ‘church’ outfit,” Kiara said, gesturing to the maxi dress and sweater she was wearing. The dress was backless and strappy but it was the only thing she owned that wasn’t short. She’d thrown a sweater overtop, hoping she could play off the dress better.

“You blend right in,” you laughed, “I’m relegated to sit up front...I don’t know if you wanna sit with me up there?”

“Lead the way.”

The “peace be with you’s” weren’t too bad and you lied to your mom when she asked how you knew Kiara, telling her that you had met at Heyward's and invited Kiara to church because she was interested in the tract you had. Your mother’s love for testimony and her conviction that people really did want to be approached on the street and harassed about their faith were enough to convince her that your story was solid. It was enough, even, to give you permission to go to lunch with Kiara after service was over.

Kiara hadn’t been to church since she was thirteen and her mom decided that she was old enough to choose whether or not she actually wanted to be there. That sort of power and responsibility had been all Kiara needed to ditch Sunday service altogether and spend her mornings out on the waves with the pogues, worshipping a different sort of force. She was a lot less religious and a lot more spiritual now though she listened intently to your father preaching. The opinions were hogwash, nothing to bat an eye at, but the actual teachings were interesting. You seemed relatively invested in those parts too, your notes, Kiara realized, looked a lot more like a theology lesson than a preacher’s condemnation of society.

“You know a lot about the bible,” Kiara mentioned once you were out of church and back at her house, changing into jeans and a shirt of hers.

“I like studying religion, theology,” you clarified, “my grandfather knew a lot about the texts. Not like my dad, he’s just...got his own ideas. My grandfather knew the Greek and Hebrew translations and spent years studying other religions as well. It was so cool to talk to him about it. I like that part, the history, the context, more than the ‘fundamentalist/evangelical crap’ my dad touts.”

“Is that something you’d study?” She asked, pulling a tank top on over her bathing suit, “like in college?”

“My parents won’t let me go to college.” You replied.

“That’s so crazy, my parents would kill me if I didn’t go.”

You spent the drive to Kiara’s dad’s restaurant explaining your parents future plan for your life, including telling her about the boy that your parents wanted you to marry. When she asked if JJ knew you admitted that he did and that you weren’t really sure what was going to happen when you turned eighteen. You knew what your parents wanted, for you to get engaged and then quickly married, but that wasn’t what you wanted at all.

“If I say that though...there’s a good chance I’d be ex-communicated. Not just from the church but from my family. One of my cousins defected and no one speaks to her anymore.” You said, “it’s like a massive stain on her family’s reputation.”

“Yeah but if she’s happy, does it matter?”

“It’s...it’s not just that I haven’t worn jeans or drank a soda,” you said, following Kiara out onto the back deck to eat, “it’s that I don’t have anyone outside my family. It’s not just being sheltered, it’s being isolated. And I know that, and I hate it but...it’s all I know.”

“None of your siblings have done it differently?”

“No.” You shook your head, “I think I would’ve been fine coasting too...I was pretty much set that this was it ya know? But then...JJ asked me out.” You admitted.

Kiara frowned, “yeah but you don’t know what’s gonna happen with JJ in the future.”

You shrugged, “it’s not just about him...it’s me, feeling happier and more confident.”

“Talking about me?” JJ’s voice came from behind you and you turned around, watching him and Pope walk up to the railing of the deck. He put his hands on the railing, pulling himself up so he could lean over and kiss your cheek.

“I should’ve known you guys would crash.” Kiara said, rolling her eyes as JJ climbed the rest of the way up, hopping over the railing onto the deck.

“What’re you guys up to?” Pope asked, staying on the other side.

“Kie mentioned taking the ferry to Chapel Hill.” You replied, “I have to be back before dark though.”

“So what’re we waiting for?” JJ said, grabbing your soda and taking a sip.

The four of you rode the ferry over to Chapel Hill, standing on the back deck the whole time talking. Kiara suggested shopping the moment you got off the ferry, telling you that all she wanted was to see you pick out an actual outfit.

“Nothing hand-me-down or borrowed, just like a real, honest outfit that you pick out.” Kiara said, taking your hand in hers as she pushed open the door to one of the small stores along the main road.

JJ followed you to the back of the store where the sale racks were, skimming through clothes, holding up different things that were still a little too far out of your comfort zone. You shook your head at a spaghetti strapped mini dress, pulling a crossover out to show him, “I like this one.”

“Try it on.” He shrugged.

“Where’s the changing area?” You asked, looking around the small area.

JJ grabbed your hand, “over here.” He led you to the curtained off stalls, pulling you into one of them and hanging the dress up.

“I have a very strong feeling that if anyone caught us we would be in massive trouble.” You whispered, biting your lip to stop from laughing as JJ moved so that you were looking in the mirror and he was behind you, hands on your hips. He rested his head on your shoulder, nudging his face into the space between your shirt and your neck, kissing the exposed skin.

“Yeah but you’ve never been shopping so what do you know?” JJ replied, as if it was obvious and he wasn’t just bullshitting you to stay in the changing room.

You turned in his arms, putting your hands over his, “I’m not changing with you in here.”

“Fine,” he groaned, “If I leave will you try on something for me?”

“Fine.” You mimicked. You kissed him, initiating it for yourself this time, before pushing him into the curtain. He gave another exasperated sigh as he swept the curtain out of the way and left you to change.

Alone in the dressing room, you changed out of your clothes and tried on the floral wrap dress. It tied off at the waist, cutting a deep V and a slit up to your thigh. It was a dress but not like any you had ever worn before. You pushed the curtain enough that you could peek out to see JJ. He was slouched in the chair, texting, while he waited for you.

“I thought you were picking something out?” You said, looking over at him.

He shrugged, “I’d rather see what you like then pick something out for you.”

“Thanks,” you nodded.

JJ watched you as you pushed the curtain back and stepped out of the changing room. “Holy shit,” he mouthed. “Wait, don’t move!”

“What? Why?” You asked as he lifted his phone in front of his face.

“I wanna picture of this.” He replied. Sure, he had seen you in a dress before but he had never seen you in a dress like this, one that actually fit you well, that wasn’t trying to hide your figure but accentuate it. One that you looked so incredibly happy in.

“So I take it I don’t look half bad?” You joked, stepping further out when he had stashed his phone and stood up.

“Half bad? You look...incredible.” JJ replied. Deciding it was worth mentioning, he added, “you look really happy.”

“I really like this dress. I’ve never really...liked anything I’ve worn before. Like, it’s just always felt like, clothes. This is different.” You admitted.

Your clothes were just whatever hand-me-downs fit you. From siblings, relatives, church members, it was never your stuff, you never chose it, never got to say what you liked or disliked.

“Oh my god!” Kiara exclaimed, coming over and interrupting your moment with JJ, “you look so pretty.”

“Thanks.” You nodded, smiling at her, “I think I’m gonna get it.”

“Let me.” JJ piped up and you looked over at him.

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.” He insisted.

There was little further discussion to be had about it, JJ purchasing the dress for you and the four of you wandering around the rest of Chapel Hill, heading in and out of a few different shops. Pope talked to you about his future college plans and you listened intently. Being with JJ was amazing but being able to be friends with a guy, just sitting with Pope and not having to consider anything other that friendship, was so underrated in your life. You had never been friends with a boy either.

Kiara drove you back to your house after you changed, just getting inside as your sister Praise was setting the table. “Hi! I’m so sorry I’m late!” You apologized, “Kie and I were just chatting and I lost track of time.”

“That’s okay Ace, mom was just telling us about Timothy’s visit. Are you excited?” Praise asked, wrapping her arms around you in a hug.

You hugged her back, “I’m very excited.” You lied.

Robert gave you a hug as you walked further into the house, handing off a baby and soon you were outside, supervising kids while your other siblings sat and chatted with your parents around the table. You were only two years younger than Robert but he was married with a kid and another on the way and that automatically made you still a kid. Though you felt less and less like a kid every day.

Your parents talked about Timothy’s visit and their own upcoming trip, ignoring anything that actually had to do with you or your interests. Even Praise, in talking about your upcoming nuptials, mentioned that her dress was still in good condition if you needed one.

“Oh, wouldn’t that be amazing Ace? You could wear Praise’s dress?” Your mother mentioned from across the table, smiling at you as if all her dreams were being realized right there at the table.

“Amazing.”

The sound of tapping at your window startled you as you sat on the bed, reading before sleep. You walked over, lifting the blinds to see JJ standing there. He waved as you opened the window for him.

“What are you doing here?”

“I missed you, I wanted to see you.” He replied, leaning into the window space.

“You just saw me earlier.” You pointed out.

“I also wanted to know if you wanted to go for a ‘midnight swim’ with me, Kie, and Pope?” JJ said, “we’re taking the HMS out. John B and Sarah don’t feel like going out and I figured you might.”

“I’m lucky no one caught me last time JJ,” you replied, “I don’t know if I can risk it.”

“That’s fine,” he said, “you don’t have to.”

You bit your bottom lip, glancing back over at your door. Your parents were asleep for the night and the thought of getting to spend more time with JJ was just too tempting for you to say no too. You were sure your dad had some bible verse to offer for you as proof that this was an evil infatuation but you could care less, agreeing to go and grabbing the swimsuit that JJ had given you. “Just let me change.”

“Can do.” JJ turned around, back to the window, and you almost laughed.

You changed quickly before climbing out the window, “I better not get in trouble for this.”

JJ led you through the woods to John B’s house, just like the night of the kegger, taking you down to the jetty. Kiara waved when she saw you and Pope helped you onto the HMS.

“I can’t believe you let him sneak you out.” Pope joked as JJ boarded the boat.

He drove you out on the marsh, parking in an open area where they couldn’t be seen by lights at the edge of anyone’s yard. The HMS didn’t have lights itself and they banked on that to keep themselves mostly out of trouble. Kiara lit a lantern in the middle of the boat but otherwise it was dark as they jumped in, JJ hanging back with you.

The two of you sat on the bench together, in your own little world seemingly. “Can I try a sip?” You asked, holding your hand out for the beer he was drinking.

“You sure?” He asked.

“Yeah, positive.”

He passed the beer over, laughing when you took a big gulp and then practically spit in out. “Oh my god, that’s horrible!” You cried, sticking your tongue out.

“I warned you.” He laughed.

“Not enough,” you replied, “that’s really gross.”

“Sorry babe,” he wrapped his arm around you, pulling you against him and kissing your cheeks and then your lips. “We’ll stick to soda for now.”

“Yes please.” You replied, kissing him back.

“Quit macking on each other and get in the water!” Pope shouted, grabbing on to the side of the boat and pushing himself up so that the HMS would rock slightly.

You grabbed onto JJ more, laughing as the boat swayed.

“What the fuck Pope, we’re coming.” He grumbled. “I’m trying to spend time with my girlfriend.”

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142 notes · View notes

currywaifu · 4 years

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𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: save file 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩: chigasaki itaru/reader 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: sfw 𝐰𝐜: 3.0k words

𝐚𝐧: itaru event? itaru fic! me loving fake dating + direct af titles? nothing changed~ sequencing of events might be weird, oops~

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Itaru’s not the least bit surprised at the sight of your wrinkled nose; neither is he shocked at the crease that formed between your brows nor the narrowing of your eyes. It must be a lot to take in, truly, but it had to be done.

“Chigasaki-kun,” you said, immediately trailing off as though you couldn’t convey the rest of your thoughts. That was fine, he thought, he can wait for his SP to fill up for 100 minutes so surely he can wait a couple more minutes for your response.

It’s a bit embarrassing, but maybe he needs to explain a bit more? He doesn’t mind too much, he was putting you on the spot, after all.

“I know it’s sudden,” Itaru said apologetically, “but I need you. You’re the only one who can—“

“Chigasaki-kun,” you repeated, sounding firmer this time around. At this point, Itaru noticed that your eyes never left the cafe table that separated the two of you, or rather what laid right smack in the centre of it. As soon as he slid it towards you, your eyes had gone from wide and surprised to squinting, almost as though it had offended you.

He was so focused on your line of sight that he failed to notice the sudden rush of red that raced across your cheeks. After a moment of silence, you let out a deep breath.

“Why the fuck did you just give me a replica of Byleth��s ring from Fire Emblem?”

“Oh, don’t worry,” he dug through his pocket to bring out another ring, the exact same design, “I have another one.”

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“Hey, you made it! Thanks for coming, Chigasaki-sa—“ as he took in the sight of your locked hands, his co-worker let out a comically loud gasp, before trying and failing to cover it up with an awkward cough.

Itaru’s not stupid, at the very least he’s definitely not blind or deaf. Besides the gracious host, he can tell everyone is shocked and staring. They’re not even trying to be discrete about it anymore.

The people from his department had been gossiping for all of last week, creating speculations on his love life. The theories had a lot of exaggeration, a lot of denial.

You squeezed his hand a little tighter, him reciprocating to reassure you.

Envy. Judgement.

Still, as he glanced at your face to check for any sign of discomfort only to find a poised smile, he was once again reminded by your strength and fortitude. He always admired that from you, and it was always so enthralling to see that side of you in action.

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“You’ll come, won’t you?” Itaru let out a quiet hum, yet refusing to answer immediately. Though he’d prefer to sit out of most gatherings, he particularly disliked going to non-essential get-togethers where the only real purpose was for his co-workers to eat and drink less restrained as they would with the higher-ups around.

Normally he would have some excuse conjured up, maybe even pretend to check his phone calendar and reject the invite apologetically. However, he had already skipped out three times, consecutively.

He already breached the three strikes and you’re out rule, and he’s not so sure risking going for four would be the smartest play for his reputation… but it probably wouldn’t hurt to save game and set aside his decision making for later.

“I’ll have to check my schedule. I just need to check with someone first,” he said, thinking back to the director and the rest of spring troupe. Would any of them give him an excuse he has yet to use?

“Ahh, feel free to bring your sister then!” the man paused, a small smirk appearing as his eyebrows waggled. “Unless you wanna bring, you know, a friend.”

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“You just don’t want to suffer alone,” you said, using your fork to prod at the meal he treated you to. Surely a one time gathering wasn’t all there is to it? Chigasaki Itaru, who always kept his life outside work private, suddenly wanting people to know he had a significant other?

Even though he didn’t?

“I’ve been to those— I know they suck,” you continued, your eyes darting away from the silver band to look at him properly, “will this even benefit you?”

“It’ll probably be annoying at first,” he replied, keeping eye contact to let you know how serious he was, “dealing with everyone’s questions, but they’ll eventually just accept it and stop bothering me.”

“What about me?”

“You work somewhere else— they won’t get the chance to bother you,” he pointed out, propping his elbow on the table as he rest his cheek on his knuckles. He continued seeing as you stayed silent, “plus, don’t you have anyone bothering you about your lack of a love life?”

In any other instance, you probably would have made a remark about him being too dedicated to his waifus to date as well, but you could only grimace as you recalled the upcoming family reunion. If your aunts teased you again for not being in a relationship… if your mom kept insisting that you were just hiding a secret boyfriend to delude herself…

“Fine, but in exchange—“

Itaru let out a chuckle, “so the matching rings aren’t enough? I’ll have you know, they’re Class A replicas.”

You snorted, “stop, stop! I’m being serious here!” you said, lightly kicking his feet from beneath the table. When he moved to retaliate, you hastily pushed your feet beneath your chair.

“Oi—“

“Just kidding, just kidding!“ he said, raising his hands up in surrender, “so, how can I help you?”

“… you up for a family reunion lunch on Sunday?”

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“So, like, do we need to prepare any— dude, dude, dude what the…? This part of your island is—” Even without heading over to where you were, he immediately knew which area you were cackling about.

“That’s the nature dump! Obviously not gonna terraform it yet?” Itaru replied, “I need a place to place all the normie flowers?”

He heard you scoff, your animal crossing character running up to his and hitting him with a net.

“Not that dump, dummy! Why are there toilets? The fences— toilets—“ you trailed off, unable to help yourself from bursting back into laughter. He instinctively laughed alongside you, knowing the monstrosity you were talking about.

“What kind of idiot makes a pathway out of toilets?”

“Hey! They create a cool effect when you walk past it!” he said, defending himself as your character hit his on the head again, “kind of like a clam opening up—“

“It’s a toilet! Not a clam!”

“Ya? Well I, Taruchi, am a resident of Urinetown, subtitle: actually an island and not a town,” Itaru said, almost as if he was proud of himself. “Before you come from me, Urinetown is a musical about capitalism. What’s your excuse, Pen Island?”

You gasped, obviously fake but dramatic enough to continue your banter “I’ll have you know, the actual name is Pen Isles? Also, you named our Stardew Valley farm—“ you paused, as though realising something, “wait, wasn’t I going to ask you something?”

“… pfft, GJ.”

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Itaru watched you introduce yourself to the rest of the room, your words polite but brimming with a confidence that was rare to see from his friend turned pretend s/o… or at least, that was what he initially thought.

Maybe this side of you just so happened to be particularly evident tonight, ringing throughout your voice and exhibited by your body language; that didn’t mean it was hidden before this instance.

There was a certain charm to you. Always been, but he never really acknowledged it. It was the little things, like how you were never hesitant about adding to his commentary when you two played Co-Op, or the playfulness you showed from time to time, or your genuineness around him— kind, but not taking bullshit from him or anyone.

If he was reading the room right, he can’t blame them for being even a little bit enthralled with you.

Even if it didn’t exactly sit right with him.

“I didn’t know Chigasaki-kun was dating someone!” a brave soul piped up from the sidelines, probably vocalising what everyone else was holding back from saying. Huh, wasn’t she one of the people who fiercely denied the rumour that he was in a relationship?

He doesn’t miss the way the corners of your lips quirked downwards for a split second, before lifting back upwards as though it never happened.

“Well, Itaru can be a bit private,” you replied, a muffled but silvery giggle escaping escaping your lips, “though I suppose I’m a bit of the same? Might be why we’re compatible.”

The woman who asked flushed slightly, and he was sure it wasn’t from any alcohol consumed. Even still, he found himself mirroring the pink hue.

Itaru?

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“Itaru,” he repeated to you for the third time tonight.

“Shoot, sorry,” you apologised, making your animal crossing character portray your shock at your slip-up again. Lmao, that was cute. “Damn… it’s weird going from Chigasaki-kun to just Itaru.”

It was his turn to hit your character with a net.

“Taruchi isn’t that far from Itaru, and you call me that all the time,” he stated, snorting at the little huff that was somehow still audible on call.

“Calling you your IGN is way different though?” you protested, “I can’t just call you that in public?”

“Shame it might expose me irl,” he sighed in disappointment, “it would have been cute to have my gamer s/o go ‘uwu Taruchi, fighto!’”

“Hahhh? Was it ever cute any time I called you Taruchi?” you asked, incredulousness present in your tone as you proceeded to mock him, “uwu, Taruchi, fighto!… there, was that cute at all?”

Itaru’s hand slid up to cover his face, his growing smile lifting his cheeks upward. You were clearly just joking around, but, well, “who knows? Maybe if you said ‘Taruchi-sama, ganbatte! I’d be able to—“

“Itaru!” you interrupted, immediately making the human equivalent noise of a keyboard smash, your little avatar running around in circles as he imagined what expression your face had right now.

Amidst his unrestrained laughter, he managed to squeeze in his next sentence in parts. “You— you finally said it! Otsu~”

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You had only called him ‘Itaru’ that one time, every other time being ‘Taruchi’ in private or ‘Itaru-kun’ in public. Still, hearing you say his name in person instead of on the phone made it feel like the first time again.

Luckily for him, he didn’t get that much time to dwell on it. Someone had lead you two to sit somewhere, surrounded by more of his polite and friendlier coworkers. Exchanging pleasantries with them was easy enough, as was answering questions about your relationship.

They’ve had multiple test runs after all. There was no way they were messing up any details, there was no room or possibility of either of them even fumbling.

“How long have you two known each other?”

“We’ve been friends since university,” you replied, something that was actually true, “it took years for me to even confess! I’m just glad Itaru accepted,” you gave him a purposeful glance, your bashful expression nearly enough to lead him to believe that you really did have a crush on him all this time.

“So you two have been together since—?”

“After my graduation,” Itaru supplied helpfully, “so it’s been a few years.”

“That’s so sweet! You know,” the woman in front of you lowered her voice, and you leaned in a little closer to listen in, “a lot of us were wondering if Chigasaki was dating anyone after we saw his ring. I thought it was just a fashion statement, but now I know it’s the real deal!”

She eyed the silver band on your ring finger, one that completely matched his.

“The rings are beautiful! The design is completely unique,” another person commented. Itaru felt your ring finger loop around his own, and the two of you turned to look at each other, sharing an amused grin.

If only they knew it was actually really well-done game merch.

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“What’s the point of the rings, though?” you asked, curious of just how far Itaru was taking this plan anyway.

“Do you not like it?” Itaru asked. Undeniably, he would be a bit upset if you ended up not liking the ring. After all, he bought it because—

“It’s lovely,” you said sincerely, carefully picking up the ring, “just surprised you already had rings on hand?”

He chuckled apprehensively, “I was going to save it as a friendship anniversary gift,” he explained, “I still feel a little guilty I didn’t get you anything last year.”

“You don’t have to get me anything anyway,” you said reassuringly, “but I appreciate it.”

He watched you slip the ring on your left ring finger, mouth opening up to apologise as he saw how loose the ring was on you, about to offer to have it resized immediately before you interrupted with quiet laughter.

“It’s a bit awkward right now, but I love it.”

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The get-together was going really well, surprisingly. He still would have preferred to be in the comfort of his room, but your presence just made everything so much easier. Even the questions people threw at the two of you weren’t so bothersome, dodging the more nosy people and sticking with anything general.

It had somehow become a game between the two of you. It was like an act off, almost, of who could give the more impressive or heart fluttering statement. Whether it was for the sake of your audience or to just affect each other remains unsaid.

“What do you like about Itaru?”

You looked away from him, closing your eyes as though you were thinking. To be fair, anything real personality or gaming related was out of bounds. Would you cater your response to his work persona, or—

“Everything!”

He nearly choked on air, trying to ignore the urge to clutch at his heart.

“That’s no fair, give something more specific!”

“I do like everything about Itaru, though?” you said with a cute pout, “but I guess I like his kindness the most. He’s always so thoughtful and considerate. He’s a busy man, but he always finds the time to help me out when I need it.”

Everyone cooed at the two of them, but he found it difficult to concentrate on that when he could only cling onto the words that started to sound more and more real as the night went by.

Out of context, everything you said could be interpreted as you just being friendly, but there was something in the way you pronounced his name and the expression on your face as you talked about him that was… different.

“What about you, Chigasaki?”

Escaping from his thoughts, his mind was filled to the brim with thoughts, but the words refused to spill from his lips.

Was there a way to describe how captivated he was at your little quirks, from the random filler noises you’d make on call or text when words failed you, to the literal quirk of the corner of your lips as you shifted expressions.

Was there a way express his appreciation for sticking by him for years, regardless of his hidden side? Was there a way to express his gratefulness for the laughter rendered and the tears wiped off by you; the smile blooming on his face as he imitated your own subconsciously?

This was the one thing he couldn’t have a manual or guide to study, so he could only hope that he went with the right dialogue choice.

“Everything too, actually.”

■■■■■■■■■■■■■□ AUTOSAVING AUTOSAVE SUCCESSFUL!

The drive back home was quiet. He was exhausted, and he could tell you were too, but as he neared your street his driving got slower and slower, almost unmoving. From the corner of his eye, he saw you fiddle with your ring, twisting it around your fourth finger before pulling it off completely.

“Oh, we’re here,” you said out loud, yet you didn’t make a move to reattach your seatbelt.

“Itaru.”

Oh, wow. If hearing it a while ago trumped hearing it over call, then hearing you murmur his name in private, with just the two of you present, was…

“You look like you have something on your mind,” you continued, “all throughout the whole get-together, actually. Are you okay?”

When everything about this, about you simultaneously felt so new yet so familiar to him, how could he possibly convey his feelings? His admiration, no, his love for you?

He took the ring from your grasp, and before you could question what was up, he had grabbed your hand as well. With a serendipitous conscientiousness, he slid the ring back onto your ring finger, admiring your rosy glow that managed to be visible even with how dark out it was outside.

“The things you said a while ago,” he began, some hesitance still remaining as his thumb glided over your ring, “sounded really convincing.”

You wouldn’t meet his eyes. For a few seconds the both of you kept silent, until you finally broke it off, “maybe I wasn’t lying in the first place.”

He stiffened, pausing his previous ministrations as you continued, “… were you?”

Looking back at the past week, he almost laughed. Other than already being in a relationship, was anything between the two of you ever a lie to begin with?

“I wasn’t, either,” he replied. Taking in a deep breath, your gaze finally locked with his, he took the next step.

“If… if I promise to always be there for you, to hold your hand, help you fight your battles, and shield you from attacks… would you have me?”

want to order again?

#a3!#a3! act! addict! actors!#itaru chigasaki #a3! itaru #chigasaki itaru #cafe: dessert menu #a3! actor training game #a3! game #a3 actor training game

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billyhardgrove · 4 years

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precious and rare, THAT’S HAPPINESS

A/N: So @hoppersj messaged me with this request and during the process of writing they helped me to capture the reader’s perspective so give them a cheeky follow!! I hope you enjoy this one xx

You remembered staring at the two girls across from you, the three of you in the food court of the mall, as they giggled and clung onto each other’s every word, and the shallow dejection that began to fill you as you watched the couple. Robin had been seeing Katie Fraser for three weeks at that point, the honeymoon phase in full swing at the beginning of their relationship and as happy as you were for your best friend, you couldn’t help the disheartening feeling that seemed to follow.

You had never been in a relationship yourself, the thought of something being both appealing and terrifying at the same time. You couldn’t deny you wanted a boyfriend, someone to care for you, to love you. But the little gremlin in the back of your head unjustly told you that they wouldn’t want you. And that thought taunted you. Glancing down to your wheelchair, you frowned to yourself, the sight of the thing you felt was holding you back from finding happiness in someone causing your stomach to sink.

Your mind fought with emotion, it taking a toll on you. You found it so emotionally draining, for the wheelchair and Cerebral Palsy brought with them the awareness of other’s judgement. People didn’t treat you the same as another, with them either falling nosy and intrusive of the reason as to why you were in the chair or else instead treating you as though you were a child, with their condescending tones and slow words, it never ceased to bother you and took a heavy toll on your self-esteem and anxiety. The stares, the remarks, the lack of understanding, it was unfair how ignorant and rude some could be.

But then someone you didn’t expect entered your life and restored a small amount of hope in humanity that you thought would not return, someone who didn’t treat you like the majority did.

It was on that same day that you saw him in his sex god glory and it was on that same day that you first spoke to him. Your water bottle had accidentally been knocked to the floor, it dancing across the ground to where it interrupted the path of Billy Hargrove. His posse were behind him, Tommy, Carol, Jack and Lesley, and they all came to a halt upon Billy taking notice of the bottle. Annoyance was thrown into the air by Carol at the abrupt stop, but Billy ignored her, as he picked up the bottle and glanced around him to see who owned it.

And his eyes noticed your own staring right at him though you said nothing to claim the bottle as your own. Instead, Robin had noticed the brief episode and called out to the blonde boy herself; “It’s Y/N’s.” She shouted over, pointing slightly towards you and Billy’s eyes fell back to you, a small warm smile on his lips. Your eyes widened slightly as he began to walk over to you and you felt your heart pick up as you realised what was happening.

You had had a crush on Billy ever since he had arrived at Hawkins, but just like every girl it seemed. You had watched how he would go through different girls each week, how he would flirt with them, charming and charismatic. And you couldn’t deny the mild jealousy you felt that you hadn’t been one of them. But every good thing always came with a price it seemed, because you had heard things, heard how aggressive and troubled the boy was. You had seen the cuts and bruises that littered Steve Harrington’s face back in November and you had heard the rumour that Billy had been the one to do it. And you couldn’t deny that you were horrified at the thought. Though a new rumour a few months after had started to circle the student body, a rumour that suggested that Billy wasn’t all bad, that he wasn’t as angry and aggressive as he used to be, that he didn’t get into trouble as much, that he was, dare you say, good. And although that frightful thought of how he beat up Harrington had tainted your crush on the boy, this new news seemed to slowly reverse that flaw.

And with his gorgeous curls accentuating his Hollywood face, he looked nothing short of a movie star, and your stomach fluttered at the thought of him approaching you.

He was now right next to you, hadn’t even said a single word, and your cheeks were heating up at his mere presence. Letting your eyes flutter back and forth from his own to the ground, your mind was screaming at what was happening.

“I believe this is yours, princess.” Billy smirked at you, setting the bottle in front of you and you felt your throat run dry, words struggling to leave your mouth in response.

“T-thanks.” You finally managed out, your cheeks tinting a warm red and Billy’s lips turned into a closed smile at your shyness, his eyes seeming to sparkle at you. He let his hand tap against the table once before backing away from you but not before calling back.

“Try not to trip up anyone else, yeah?” He had teased you, sending you his dazzling smile that had your stomach erupting at the sight. And it was directed at you!

I won’t, you thought, though you only gave him a timid smile in response before the boy turned and walked away.

And that was it, that was the day Billy first noticed you, that was the first day that you had captivated his interest, though he knew you were so much more than any girl he had been with. And it had all been over a stupid water bottle. Who knew a situation so trivial and simple would lead to something so wonderful.

Two months on, you still thought about that day quite a bit, including now as you glanced over to the tanned Californian. The pair of you were watching a movie at yours but really you hadn’t been paying much attention. Taking in your boyfriend next to you, he continued to stare straight at the TV, although a small knowing smirk started to grow on his lips.

“Wow, you’re paying more attention to me than your favourite movie. I am flattered Y/N.” Billy cockily joked, turning his own gaze to you now. You felt your cheeks heat up at his flirtatious words. Two months of knowing the boy, two months of him flirting with you constantly and you still couldn’t help but blush every time.

“Sorry,” you mumbled, feeling shy now that he had called you out.

“Don’t apologise, princess. You know I love when you check me out.”

Again, goddammit, why could you feel your cheeks tinging red?

“What’re you thinking about?” Billy then asked, curious as to what could possibly distract you from the movie you adored.

“Nothing, really.” You replied, deciding not to get into it, but Billy wasn’t having it.

“Nah, bullshit. Tell me, baby.”

“I was just thinking about the day we first properly met, and how insecure I felt about being in my chair. The thought of having a boyfriend seemed far-fetched to me.”

Billy nodded his head listening to you intently.

“I don’t know, it’s stupid.” You tried to back out of telling him the full extent of what you felt.

“Don’t belittle your feelings like that.” Billy told you, placing the palm of his hand against your cheek, as you stared at the ground for a moment before looking back up to meet his gaze. Those gorgeous eyes of his never failed to hypnotise you into some sort of trance. “And now?” He asked and you fell confused for a moment, not knowing exactly what he was asking.

“How do you feel now? Are you happy?”

“More than anything, Billy, you make me so happy, I just-“ you cut yourself off, collecting your thoughts for a moment before trying again

“But why...” you trail off, not really sure how to word your question. “I just don’t get why you’d wanna be... you know...”

“I like you, Y/N” Billy got the gist of what you were saying, about your hesitance as to why he wanted you.

“But-“

“Why do you have to question it? I like you so much, baby. So much that it scares me.” Billy told you, his words suffocating with so much genuineness. “In fact, I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and… you know what, fuck it. I love you, y/n.”

And your mind raced at those words. It wasn’t quite sure if it had registered exactly what Billy had just said to you and you couldn’t help the silence that fell between the two of you.

“Shit, I shouldn’t have told you that.” He began to backtrack, regretting telling you since it had left you so shocked and caught off guard. To him that meant that you didn’t feel it back, to him that meant that he had scared you off, to him that meant that he had fucked it and he began to beat himself up at the thought. That was the last thing he wanted to do. “It’s not possible for you to forget the last 30 seconds, is it? No? Ok I’ll-“

“Billy stop.” You laughed lightly at him, a grin taking over your face at his distress. “I’m glad you told me that. I just, I didn’t expect it really.” You told him, the words I love you echoing in your ears. “I love you too.” You told him truthfully, you had known it for some time now but had been too scared to tell him. Thank God he had told you he felt the same way first because you didn’t think you could keep it in any longer.

The biggest smile you had ever seen on the boy spread across his lips, his entire face lighting up at your words. “Really?” His voice broke slightly.

You nodded your head, smiling at him and he just looked at you lovingly before leaning in, his hand finding your cheek once more and his lips finding your own.

And your stomach began to flutter the way it always did when you were around Billy, except now it was amplified, it was much more intense, it was a feeling that felt precious to you, something that was somewhat rare, and you were certain it was happiness.

#billy #hargrove #billy hargrove drabble #billy hargrove writing #Billy Hargrove #billy hargrove imagine #dacre #montgomery #dacre montgomery #dacre montgomery imagine #dacre montgomery writing #dacre montgomery x reader #billy hargrove x reader #stranger things #stranger things series #stranger things imagine #stranger things writing

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thedaywebuiltthefort-blog · 5 years

Text

No 109 - List Lightening Round

WARNING: The below post and accompanying videos may* contain swearing

*It does

Bold = Kyli. Unbold(?) = Holly

In which the Listers make a nostalgic breakfast, do a ridiculous dance, Holly comes face to face with a foe more frightful than cows, they play a song, hi-jack a shopping trolley and Kyli points at a bus station and they masticate some poultry.

This one has been in the pipeline for a few weeks now. The world seems to have been hell-bent on throwing so many curveballs into the path that neither of us has been able to walk in a straight line for awhile. Time has been creeping past, every day life has just taken over. The idea came about after it had been a while since I had looked at doing anything on the list. Holly had done a couple of them in the run up to her birthday, even going off piste and coming up with a whole new challenge for herself (have a look at her post about Sweatember) and I was feeling a bit left in the dust.

So I picked up the folder in which we stored all our original postits and flicked through to find something I could do that would be worth while and get me back in the game. Whilst looking through them it occurred to me that quite a few of them, whilst all important parts of the list, are actually quite small, easily done and wouldn't take up an awful lot of time or energy. This made me wonder how interesting a post we could really write about them if we were to do them individually. So I decided that we should find away to make it more challenging and more entertaining.

Ironically, my motivation has been running on empty recently and not being able to fall back on the list has been a challenge in itself. You see, that’s the dirty little secret about this whole thing, it’s more than just a silly blog where we do crazy nonsensical things. It actually takes a lot of hard work and energy to be this positive and upbeat all the damned time. There are a lot of days where lying face down on the floor eating biscuits seems like a much better option! But anyway, Kyli and I discussed the idea of completing a ‘lightening round’ of list challenges.

We agreed to give ourselves ONE day in which we try to tick off as many of the smaller things on the list as we can and collaboratively post about it!!

A few days ago we finally got the chance to get together and speed through some of the items that were easy to do with very little organizing. The nominations were;

No 17 - Ride in a shopping trolley

No 27 - Play ‘Fight Song’

No 58 - Do the ‘Poison’ dance

No 64 - Make drop scones

No 70 - Eat chicken on a bench

No 88 - Hold a snake

On Wednesday 13th October 2018 we successfully checked all of the above things off the list!! Woooooooo yeahhhhhhhh!!

We started the day by making drop scones (well Holly made them, I just ate them!). When we were kids our Nan used to make these as a quite regular treat so they were a big part of our childhood. I’m not sure anyone really knows what drop scones are actually meant to be. Apparently they’re supposed to be Scotch pancakes but having eaten those too, I can confirm they taste nothing alike. Unless we’re making them wrong, which is very possible.

Chances are high Nan was making them wrong too, she had a unique talent for burning things and drop scones were rarely an exception! Somehow though they were still so good!

Fuelled up and ready to go, we then completed the Poison dance in the kitchen, mentally and emotionally scarring my dog in the process. Just to clarify, the poison dance is a choreographed routine to Alice Cooper’s ‘Poison’ that we made up. I think a lot of people can relate to that experience of being a kid, making up dances in the house. I was about twenty when we made up this routine. I’d love to say it’s a step up from the dance we made up to the Spice Girls whilst dressed in bin bag dresses a few years prior, but I’d be lying! Say what you like about our lack of talent, rhythm or style - there is nothing not cool about making up dance routines. Unless you do them wearing bin bag dresses.

Dancing completed, it was time to move on to more serious things. We decided pretty early on that this was the day I was going to hold a snake. Let me be very clear, I have never once in my life touched a snake. They are one of two animals that I have an irrational phobia of, the other being cows.

I have a list of very real phobias as long as my arm – things that bite, things that move too fast, being in small spaces, flying, and on it goes. I have never had a bad experience with a snake, having never gotten close enough to one to get the chance. My fear is based purely on my certainty that all snakes are basically death tubes designed to kill you. I don’t even care if they’re non-venomous. They might be lying.

About five minutes from the local exotic zoo, my palms start sweating. Honestly, even I was a little surprised by my reaction. I genuinely thought that as with so many situations that I am uncomfortable with, I could just bullshit my way through it. I am the biggest coward on the planet. Bravado is my armour and I generally do a great job of joking my way through situations. It’s all about deflection.

The closer we get, the more I start to become convinced that something is going to go horribly wrong and this is all a terrible idea. I make a joke that perhaps all the snakes are out for the day. Secretly I’m hoping that might be true. Sadly, they were very much there. After falling victim to the judgmental stare of a teeny tiny owl I met a corn snake called Pumpkin.

Beware judgemental owls

I will point out now that giving something a cute name does NOT make it any less terrifying. You can call a shark ‘toothy jeff’ but it’s still going to rip your arm off. Anyway, much to the amusement of the young man holding Pumpkin for the visitors, I have to do a few laps of the room before I can even look at her. We let him know straight away the reason we’re there and try to reassure him that I’m not just a crazy person. I am relieved to hear I am not the first person to go there for the very same reason. There is a very real chance I am going to projectile vomit all over this nice guy and Pumpkin. Every time she moves I am convinced she can smell my fear and is ready to launch herself like a haunted hose pipe towards my face.

After a few minutes, I actually manage to look at her and give her a slight prod with one finger. Pumpkin feels like the inner tube of a bicycle. It’s all just part of her plan to get me to let my guard down. Jokes on you Pumpkin, you can’t fool me. Again, it takes a few laps of the room before I’m able to touch her again. I hold her with help from the guy from the zoo who repeatedly reassures me that I’m not about to die in a snake-related accident.

The whole time my heart is pumping in my mouth. Eventually, I know that I need to hold her by myself or I can’t count this as a completed task. I hold her for about three seconds on my own, she moves slightly and I give her back. I do not enjoy any of it and am a little disappointed I don’t feel a great sense of accomplishment. Still, I did it and I can take something from that. I still hate snakes, Pumpkin included.

However, nothing bad happened. Not every victory comes with a parade and a euphoric sense of self-satisfaction. Sometimes you just have to get through something you don’t really want to be involved with and come out the other side.

After recovering from my snake holding, we head over to the local Asda to get a chicken to eat on a bench, possibly one of the stranger things on the list and one Kyli is better equipped to explain. I’ll go back to that one in a moment. Lastly, we went down to a local field where I had noted an abandoned shopping trolley a few days ago, in the hope that it would still be there. I’ve ridden in a shopping trolley before, but I still wanted to add it to the list. Now I’m not saying it’s big or clever to be in your early to mid-thirties (or late twenties… just getting that in there while I still can) and want to ride around in a shopping trolley, but nothing about the list is big or clever. The shopping trolley represents something to me. It’s not just a trolley. It’s a trolley full of missed opportunity.

For me, it’s all those times I walked past something stupid and silly because I was too afraid of what people might think. The fear that I might, shock horror, fall out and knock out all of my teeth and have to live the rest of my life as a toothless hermit eating soup. I tend to over think everything. As it turns out, I did fall out. I blame Kylie entirely. Muahahahahaha!

It did hurt. My teeth, fortunately, are all still where they are meant to be. It was pretty funny and not at all dignified. Anyway, as this is turning into quite a long post I feel like it would be appropriate to end it by going back to the whole chicken on a bench thing. As mentioned, Kyli is the best person to explain why eating chicken on a bench made the list.

No, it’s not an innuendo or a weird euphemism for something else, it is exactly what it says on the tin. Eat a chicken whilst sitting on a bench. The inaugural eating of a chicken whilst in a benched state happened when I was 16. I’m not about to go into the details of the background sob story but, suffice to say, I was going through a really rough time and I had gone to my happy place, my Nanna’s house in Chapel St Leonards, to straighten my head out. After having poured my heart out to my Nan she did what I believe to be one of the best things anyone could ever do for a person. She took me by the hand… walked arm in arm with me to the local supermarket… and bought a pre-cooked rotisserie chicken. We went and sat on a bench, by the bus stop and she just made me feel like I would be OK. She was never the sort to make the world out to be cupcakes and rainbows, she never gave me delusions of grandure. She had a way of just making you feel like you would be alright. No judgment. No attempts to steer me in the right direction. She just… was. With me. On a bench. Eating chicken.

There was nothing special about the bench. There was nothing special about the chicken. But there was something very special in that little picnic with just the right person. That is one of my most vivid and cherished memories of one of the most cherished people in my life and what she did for me. It was nothing really, but it was everything.

I haven’t eaten a chicken on a bench (until the other day) since that day in Chapel with my Nanna. But it is my go to memory when I feel low and need reminding that I’m just fine.

For me it was one of the more poignant moments of the day. We were chatting about the list and Kyli said something along the lines of how eating a chicken on a bench wouldn’t mean much to anyone else but how people should find their own chicken on a bench. That’s the thing, for people that still don’t understand what this is, why it is that we are doing this – it’s very simple. This is therapy. It can be disguised as stupidity, dressed up as silliness and passed off as fun, but ultimately and most importantly, this is healing. This is facing fear and finding hope, growing and learning. There are millions of people trying to wade their way through life, with millions of ways of coping with all the worries, the disappointments, the failures, and the pitfalls. Some people medicate, some people meditate, some people have their sister push them around a field in a shopping trolley. Shit things happen in life. You get hurt, you get challenged and you don’t always get what you want. It can sometimes seem like you don’t have the time or the ability to stop for a second and work out what it is you really need to get you through. It turns out I needed a chicken on a bench, just as much as Kyli did, and probably a lot more than I (or I) realised.

We appreciate that you may look at some of these things and think to yourself, "How did that even get on the list? That's not a challenge!" and you'd be right. Not everything on the list is a challenge. Quite a few of the things we'll be doing are purely there for shits and giggles, the idea was never for everything to be uber difficult.

We created the list after realising how easy it is to get stuck in a monotonous rut in life, when daily routines become dull and dreary, and something happened to make us realise that life is too short for dreary monotony. Breaking habits, any habits, is hard and takes time and effort. The list includes lots of seemingly easy, unchallenging things to do, but try to remember that the list, in it's ever evolving entirety, is one massive challenge and the point is to make changes, big ones and small ones, to make life better and more exciting. What makes life better and more exciting than just being a bit silly sometimes? That, my friends, is how those things made it onto the list and these are the sorts of things you should absolutely make sure you include in your own lists!! (You should totally make your own lists!)

You may have read Holly's post about being patient and her dismay when she realised that after creating the list there are actually a lot of days where nothing really happens at all. We can't all be running marathons, climbing mountains and bungee jumping every day to keep the excitement going. Unfortunately, not only would that get very expensive and probably very tiring, it'd quite likely take some of the excitement away from it. I'd be tempted to say that the little things are more important than the big, difficult things because the little things are the ones that get you through those inbetweeny days that don't feel quite so accomplished.

If I had one hope for this blog, it isn’t for lots of readers or to gain anything from it in terms of recognition – it is that people will share this journey with us. I hope that by reading it you can laugh with us (and often at us) and maybe make your own list. I hope that you can celebrate the small, seemingly mundane things that get you through. I hope that you can do things you never thought you could do. Most of all, I sincerely and fervently hope that you too find your chicken on a bench.

Holly

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