#i like to think that next homecoming Cecil either went see his mom by himself or brought Carlos | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

solange-lol · 4 years

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not so typical love song - ch. 7/13

Chapter Title: Love Me

Words: 3,332

Art by @lizzybizzyo! <3

read on ao3

—

Thanksgiving came and went, and soon Bianca was on her train back to college, leaving a quiet house in her absence.

They talked, of course, more than they had talked over the phone. But they never went in deep about anything. Nico never brought up his secret, and Bianca dropped asking about homecoming all together.

It felt like she already knew. Nico came so close to telling her just to get that weight off his chest, but every time he was about to bring it up, he didn’t.

It felt so dangerous with the circumstance he was already under. Technically, he had already come out to two people, but something about telling someone face to face out of his own will terrified him.

Deep down, he knew Bianca wouldn’t care. So why was he so scared?

The same reason he was scared to tell any of his friends, probably. He didn’t want anything to change, didn’t want their view on him to change. And if word got out, the best thing to ever happen to him would slip away. He couldn’t lose Blue, not now.

Not ever.

Drew’s voice cut through his thoughts, as she finished her long list of plans for Christmas break, before asking “Anybody else going somewhere for Christmas?” they had been folding programs for the show at this rehearsal as people were getting fitted for costumes.

Nico shrugged as if he had been listening to what she had been saying the entire time. “Staying here. We have a classic di Angelo gingerbread decorating contest.” He said as he folded the program in his hand that he realized he had been clutching, unfolded for a few minutes now.

Piper grinned next to him. “I was the judge last year with Jason. You should have seen Nico’s house! Covered it with red frosting to look like blood with dead gingerbread men and ghosts! Called it his gingerdead house”

Nico tried to ignore the sound of Will laughing across from him, blue eyes squinting as his smile grew. He was there helping out backstage, mainly just to bother Lou Ellen and Cecil. (And to not let Nico get over his crush, apparently.) His gaze moved quickly from Octavian (ew) to Drew, who was rolling her eyes.

“What about you, Piper?” she asked, switching focus.

Piper shifted uncomfortably. “My dad will probably be away on a shoot, so either I’ll fly out to be with him, or I’ll be home alone,” she said, trying to shrug it off, but Nco could see the sadness in her eyes.

He patted her knee. “Come over to my house if you need to. I’m sure my parents would love to have you as a judge again.”

When he looked up, Will was smiling at him again, making Nico’s chest clench.

“I’m going to a cabin with my mom,” Percy grinned from where he was sitting, not helping them at all. “No WiFi, just me and my mom and the lake.”

“In the middle of the winter?” Piper asked. “Won’t it be frozen?”

“Yup. Prime ice skating conditions.”

Nico rolled his eyes. “I hope you fall in,” her muttered, earning another laugh from Will, making his chest even tighter.

“We don’t usually go anywhere, but I think my mom is planning a trip for me and my siblings this year. Bonding, or something,” Will says after a moment.

“You have siblings?” Nico asked, surprised. He never recalled Will ever mentioning them. “Do they go here?”

Now it was Will’s turn to look uncomfortable. “Oh, um, yeah. I have a sister and a brother. Kayla and Austin.” His smile was still there, but there was an emotion in his eyes that Nico couldn’t quite read.

“Cool,” he said, softly, not wanting to push Will any further, although it left him with more questions than answers.

Next to Will, Octavian suddenly sucked in air through his teeth, dramatically dropping the program he had been folding. If that weren’t enough to convince Nico that he wasn’t actually hurt, he grabbed his finger with a dramatic “Owww.”

Nico sighed. Wherever Octavian was going with this, he didn’t like it. “You good?”

“Yeah, paper cut,” he responded, giving Nico a look saying come with me. Nico could see that perfectly clear, but he chose to ignore it. When he did, Octavian continued. “Nico, do you know where the bandages are?”

“Yeah, they’re right back there in the supply closet,” Nico said, still not giving in.

“You mind showing me?”

Nico had to stop himself from groaning. He wanted to scream at Octavian to just leave him alone for once, but there was no way out of this situation he was stuck in. Octavian, always concerned about himself, didn’t know how to take a hint either. He nodded his head towards the closet, and Nico just sighed as he stood up. Worried glances from both Piper and Will followed him, but he shook it off.

“Be right back,” he assured them, which only seemed to settle Piper as he followed Octavian to the back.

When they walked into the closet, Octavian spun on his heel. “I don’t actually have a paper cut.”

“Yeah, I got that,” Nico muttered.

“I don’t want to have to leak your emails, di Angelo, but-”

“Look, you can’t bring Blue into this,” Nico cut him off angrily. “If he found out my emails got leaked, he would disappear. He’d never talk to me again.” Just the idea of it made tears prick at his eyes.

One of these days, Octavian is going to push too far, and Nico is going to break.

Octavian just shrugged. “Yeah, he probably would. Internet’s a freaky place to meet people.”

Just as Nico was about to argue back at him, Piper walked through the door, causing them both to panic.

“..Freaky Friday!” Nico said suddenly, trying to recover from anything she might have overheard.

Octavian nodded along. “Fun movie.” It wasn’t great acting (better than his fake paper cut bit) but Nico appreciated the coverup. Octavian was still far from a decent human being, but at least he didn’t out Nico. Yet.

Piper looked between the two of them, a confused smile growing on her face. “You guys are weird,” he states, before moving to look around the closet. “I just came to get a band-aid. You were right, those programs are a bitch.”

Octavian elbowed him, signaling Nico to say something. He quickly thought of an idea, bracing himself as he began to talk. Please don’t hate me, Piper.

“So, um, Octavian was having some trouble with his lines, so we were thinking of going to the Waffle House tonight and go over them, run a few scenes, if you wanna come,” he said quickly, trying his best to seem natural about it. Please don’t hate me, Piper. Please don’t hate me.

For a moment, Piper’s face dropped, as did Nico’s stomach. Please don’t hate him. He messed up. Please don’t hate him.

Then, the smile was back. “Really?” she asked earnestly. “That would be great, actually!” Both relief and guilt flooded Nico.

Octavian patted him on the back the moment Piper was out of sight again. “Good work di Angelo.”

“Go to hell, Octavian.”

—

Nico slipped out of the Waffle House the moment he noticed Leo standing outside, most likely on his break.

Actually, he was escaping the hell that was his booth with Piper and Octavian, as well as Octavian’s multiple attempts of flirting. He was hurting Piper, not that she realized, and it was hurting him in the process. Leo just happened to be the perfect excuse to get him away from all that.

Leo Valdez is a junior, though Nico’s never really talked to him that much before. They’ve had a few classes together over the years, and Nico knows he’s good friends with Piper and Jason, but for some reason, he’s never really seen him around. He’s also a waiter at Waffle House, apparently, and something about him is setting off bells in Nico’s head.

Nico doesn’t think he’s Blue. Leo is like a ball of fire, while Blue is a calming wave. And yet, there’s more than one side to a person, so he hasn’t ruled him out yet. And besides, maybe he’ll at least be interesting to get to know.

He shivered, pulling his jacket tighter as he walked over to Leo, who was typing something on his phone. “Were you in my Bio class last year?” Nico asked, and Leo looked up from his phone, surprised.

“I think so, yeah.”

“Were you there last year when some kid ate the flower we were experimenting on while we had a sub, and she emailed our teacher who had to email the class because it turned out the flower was poisonous?”

Leo grinned. “Yep. That was me, actually, who ate the flower.”

Not the response Nico was expecting, but he’ll take it. “Wait, really? What happened?”

“Called poison control, got it all sorted out.” Leo was still grinning, sort of mischievously like he was planning it all over again. “Somehow I lived through.”

Nico smiled. “Somehow.”

Leo glanced back at the restaurant. “Nancy’s glaring, that’s my cue to go. See ya, di Angelo,” he said, tapping one last thing on his phone before he walked back inside while Nico just stood there and watched.

He wasn’t completely sure if Leo was Blue or not. Sure, he wouldn’t mind if Leo was Blue. He was funny and charismatic, which was helpful to have in social situations. And he was pretty good looking. (Or maybe Nico just had a thing for curly hair.) At the same time, though, it felt like maybe their personalities were completely different. So was Nico just making it up because he liked the idea of it, or did he actually believe it? He wasn’t really sure.

Until his phone buzzed in his pocket.

Only a second ago had Leo been typing something on his phone. That last tap before he went inside could have been him hitting the send button. If it was that perfectly lined up, could it really be a coincidence?

Leo’s voice echoed in his head as he read the email.

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Date: Nov 30 at 5:57 PM

Subject: Holiday Horrors

My mom is currently planning a trip for Hanukkah, which I don’t think we’ve ever done before, but I think she just wants my siblings (still weird to say) to feel okay coming into this family. Obviously, I still don’t really know that much about them, but I really hope they like me and feel as safe here as I do.

It’s also sort of scary because I imagine when I tell my mom, I’ll probably have to tell them too. I just hope that doesn’t change anything/

My dad wanted me to see him, spend a day with him over the holidays, but I passed up. He’s already shown me all that he can give me, I don’t need anything more. On the other hand, though, my mom told me he’s bisexual, so maybe I could get my first real coming out over with him. Or not, I don’t know. Do I trade up my first experience just for it to be easy? I feel like I need to get used to it not being easy.

Maybe I’m just going crazy.

Love, Blue

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Date: Nov 30 at 6:01

Subject: re: Holiday Horrors

I don’t think you’re going crazy Blue. Crazy brave, if that’s what you meant. And crazy caring and compassionate at that. I’m sure your siblings love you for all your efforts. If they haven’t yet, they will. Take it from experience.

Love, Angel.

Nico grinned to himself all the way through Blue’s email, as well as his own. He might not know who Blue is, but he knows what kind of person he is. Maybe it’s better that way. And something about that email made him consider maybe, maybe coming out to Hazel. She’s the one person Nico knows would love him through anything.

Oh, and Leo isn’t completely ruled out yet either.

Nico’s got a lot to think about now as he heads back inside to the table from hell.

When he slid back into the booth, Octavian was dramatically leaning over the table, pointing his finger at a smiling Piper. “You, Piper McLean, deserve a goddamn superhero.” Immediately, his good mood is gone as he rolls his eyes.

Ugh, give him a break.

—

“Octavian used to annoy the crap outta me, but he’s actually kind of...” Piper shrugged, looking out the window. “I don’t know. Not as bad.”

Nico sighed, gripping the steering wheel. There was a pit in his stomach that was weighing him down with guilt. He so desperately wanted to do the right thing, but honestly, he didn’t even know what that would be anymore. Tricking Piper like this, though, he knew that wasn’t right. He wasn’t sure what would make it better by this point, so he brought up something that could distract him.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you about your parents,” he said quietly as if he might be waking a monster. He found out pretty quick what was happening inside the restaurant when he got back. Octavian had pushed her, maybe a little too far, about her past. While it sort of hurt that she easily told him over Nico, he assumed it was his fault for never asking. “I just never wanted to make you uncomfortable.”

Piper shrugs, turning away from the window but still not looking at him. “Yeah, I don’t mention them that much. Kind of messes with my image.”

“What image?”

She shrugs again. “The girl who's only been at this school for a year and doesn’t want to be known as the one with the famous dad, or the mom that left them. The girl who's angry and sad all the time and has a history of being a kleptomaniac. A girl who still believes in love.”

Oh. “I didn’t know that.”

“I didn’t know if you wanted to.”

Nico cleared his throat. “You still believe in love?” he attempted to scoff, but his heart was beating so fast he just sounded nervous.

“I don’t know, maybe.” Piper glanced over at him. “Have you ever been in love?”

Nico didn’t say anything for a moment. He didn’t know what to say. What could he say right now? Anything, really. He could tell her everything. But at what cost?

“I think so,” he said, before he pulled the car over.

Nico could see Piper glancing around in confusion, maybe almost nervous as they slowed to a stop. God, what if she thinks he’s in love with her? There’s no way he’s getting out of this without telling her.

“Piper?” Nico asks, not really sure what he’s asking. He takes a breath.

Piper gave him a look he couldn't read. “Yeah?”

“I’m gay.”

It came out almost like a question like he’s asking for acceptance. The words hung in the air for just a moment, then-

“Oh,” she smiled, and the tension broke. “Okay.”

“You can’t tell anyone though. Nobody really knows, and I don’t really want people to find out yet-”

She shook her head. “I won’t, I promise.”

“Okay,” he whispered. His heart was still beating fast, but warmth filled his chest.

He did it.

They sat in silence for a moment, not making eye contact, before Nico asked, “You surprised?”

“No.”

“So, you knew?” he asked, fearfully glancing over at her. How many other people knew?

“No,” she assured him.

“But you’re not surprised?”

Piper smiled again, and any nerves he had left completely drained from his body. “Do you want me to be surprised?” she asked genuinely.

For the first time, Nico smiled softly too. “I don’t know,” he said almost laughing as he looked back out the window.

“Okay,” she was still looking at him; he could see her smile out of the corner of his eye. “Well, I love you, so…”

He let himself glance over at her, trying to ignore the pegging thoughts in his brain reminding him how much he would be hurting her right now if she knew. The warmth in his chest was gone, and now it was just tight with all the love and the hurt. Maybe he didn’t believe in romantic love (he honestly didn’t know yet) but there was some kind of love in this world, and he was so lucky to have it.

But what if she knew? “I love you too.”

Her smile, softer than before, hurt more than anything else.

Nico let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, turning on his blinker as he began to drive again.

“There’s no one behind us you don’t need to-” Piper started and Nico almost laughed. The moment was over, maybe he could stop thinking about it.

“I know, just being safe.”

“Okay,” she whispered, and Nico could tell she was still smiling at him.

He tried to ignore the tightness that still remained in his chest as they drove away.

—

When Nico got home that night, he went straight to his room. He opened the window that led to a small balcony and climbed through. He sat down, leaning his head against the fence and looked up at the stars.

When he was younger, so much younger that the memories were faint, his mom would take him out here before she died every time he was scared or upset. He could hear her voice in his ear as he stared up at the sky.

“If things are changing-” she would tell him. “Just remember the stars are still there. Even if it's cloudy at night or if the sun is out, they’re still there. Find peace in that.”

What would she think of him now?

He pulled his phone out, wiping away a stray tear that tried to escape, and opened his email.

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Date: Nov 30 at 9:05 PM

Subject: You inspired me

You inspired me tonight, Blue. I came out to one of my friends and it went really well, so thank you.

I hope everything goes okay with your mom and your siblings, but I’m pretty sure it will.

Maybe afterward we can ride this bravery train and come out to each other for real? I’m dying to know who you are.

Love, Angel

He sent the email before he could overthink it, and went back inside to do homework, giving the stars one last glance.

Right before he was about to fall asleep later that night, he got a response.

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Date: Dec 1 at 12:11 AM

Subject: re: You inspired me

I actually came out to everyone tonight. I thought it would be easier to just air it out now and let them think before we were stuck together with no escape on whatever vacation we’re going on.

Everything went surprisingly okay. My mom of course was supportive, saying she would make me flag cookies for pride month and everything which was very sweet (literally). And my siblings were also nice about it. I really don’t think they care as much as I thought they would. (I almost made a joke about how I got it from my dad, but I didn’t want to push things.)

And you’ve got it all wrong. It’s you who inspires me.

I’m really glad everything went well with your friend. I’m just not ready yet for you to tell me. The real me. I’m sorry.

Love, Blue

(P.S- if it helps, I can’t stop thinking about who you are either. Someday soon I’ll tell you. Just not yet).

(P.P.S- Happy December! Rabbits Rabbits Rabbits and all that)

Sure, Nico was disappointed, but it was okay. Blue had said someday soon, and all Nico had to do was hold onto that promise.

#solangelo #nico di angelo #will solace #pjo #heros of olympus #nstls #pjo hoo big bang 2019 #liz writes.com

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