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duhragonball · 3 years

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Hellsing Liveblog Afterward

So, this is just a place for me to toss in some other Hellsing stuff I wanted to talk about outside the reading of Hellsing itself.

Okay so first off, I wanted to document this cool trivia I noticed about Rip van Winkle, the werewolf(?) with the musket that fires magic bullets. Her weapon is based on the 19th Century German opera Der Freischütz. The opera is based on a story published by Johann August Apel in 1811, and this writing was based on German folklore. The legend involves a marksman who makes a contract with the devil and receives seven magic bullets. Six will hit whatever the marksman wants, but the seventh is at the sole discretion of the devil himself. In Hellsing, the Major speaks to Rip about her own musket and reminds her that the opera ends with Zamiel, the devil, coming to claim his due. This is intended to foreshadow Alucard counterattack on the H.M.S. Eagle, where he plows through Rip’s defenses and kills her in gruesome fashion.

So I went back and counted all the times Rip van Winkle shoots her musket, just to see if there was any special significant to it. The first was when the old Nazi officers complain to the Major, and Rip shoots the Colonel’s cane before he can strike the Major with it. At least, I’m pretty sure that was the idea here. The cane breaks and everyone looks around and Zorin points to the lady with the gun to indicate who just did that. So that’s one bullet.

After assuming control of the H.M.S. Eagle, Rip van Winkle meets with the Eagle’s first officer, who betrayed the crew to Millennium in exchange for vampire powers. She then betrays him and his fellow traitors, killing them all with a single shot from her musket. This is where we first find out what her ability is. So that’s two.

The British Navy tries to take back the ship by sending a helicopter full of SEALs, but Rip destroys the entire team with another shot from her musket. So that’s three shots fired.

While Hellsing prepares their own response, the Navy tries again, this time sending a fighter plane to sink the Eagle with missiles, but Rip shoots down the missiles and the plane with one bullet. Four.

This is where I started to wonder if there was a particular pattern to Rip’s use of the musket. I’m pretty sure she just uses one bullet and can fire it as many times as she pleases, but she was literally singing songs from the opera and it seemed kind of superfluous to have her foil two separate attack by the Navy. The first one showed us that conventional forces wouldn’t get the job done, so the second one only makes sense if Kouta Hirano was just trying to add to the count.

Then Alucard arrives aboard a modified SR-71 Blackbird. At 85,000 ft in the air, he’s out of range, but then he nosedives onto the deck of the ship. Rip fires again to destroy the Blackbird before it crashes into them. Five.

Alucard survives the crash and wipes out all of Rip’s soldiers while she has a panic attack. Cornered, she finally gathers her wits and attacks Alucard. Her bullet hurts him, but he eventually catches it in his teeth, neutralizing her weapon and leaving her at his mercy. That’s shot number six.

I was hoping this shot would be the seventh, since the seventh bullet in Der Freischütz belongs to the devil, and Alucard caught this one in his teeth, but no. Then I remembered that the musket gets fired one last time...

... in London, when Alucard releases the familiars of all the victims he’s consumed over the centuries, including Rip Van Winkle. She fires the musket once more, but this time it’s Alucard directing the shot into the helicopters of the Ninth Crusade. Shot number seven is at the discretion of the devil himself, and “Dracula” is a diminutive of “Dracul”, a Romanian word for “devil”. Neat stuff.

Okay, so now let’s talk about Seras, because that’s kind of my jam. What’s the deal with this line? “Her existence is somewhat of a marvel. You could say it’s somewhat of a joke. Perhaps she herself has not even noticed yet!!”

That’s the Major discussing Sir Integra and Seras in Volume 5. He stresses that neither is to be underestimates, and I think he makes a good case for Integra, but with Seras he never actually comes to the point. So what’s up with that?

Of course, there’s the truth we saw in the final battle. Once she finally drank blood of her own volition, Seras became a full-on vampire and one of the most powerful warriors on the field. She destroyed the Captain quite handily, and he was the strongest guy Millennium had. But this seems a tad obvious? Why not just spell it out for Zorin. “Hey, our intel says she’s weaker than expected because she won’t drink blood, but that could change at a moment’s notice, and she’s still strong enough to take down a lot of our soldiers, so proceed with caution.”

I’m not saying the Major is wrong. He told Zorin not to engage, and he made the right call. I’m just wondering what the “joke” is exactly.

I think it might be one of two things. By the end of Hellsing, Seras demonstrates a similar level of ability to Alucard. Sunlight appears to have no effect on her, she can summon familiars like Alucard, and regenerate her wounds with great alacrity. I’m pretty sure she’d be about as hard to kill as Alucard himself, which Integra said was a product of Hellsing “enhancements”, rather than natural vampire power. Except Seras was never “enhanced”, she seems to have just inherited these “super-vampire” powers from Alucard when he turned her. The Major and Doctor may have anticipated this, and the “joke” was that Seras could completely upset the balance of their plans, except she’s too squeamish to drink the blood that would make this possible.

Or, the joke might be that Alucard turned Seras at all. He just sort of did this out of nowhere, and I’m pretty sure no one saw that coming. Millennium and Walter had been keeping tabs on Hellsing for decades, and not much changed until Alucard decided to add Seras to the group. The vampires in Millennium’s Last Battalion were all produced through the Doctor’s artificial vampire research, which was based upon intense study of Mina Harker, the last person Alucard turned into a vampire before he met Seras.

So from that standpoint, Seras represents a superior version of Mina, who represents the ideal that the Doctor was trying to achieve. At best, his finest artificial vampires could only be as strong as Mina Harker, and Seras got that way in one night by a twist of fate.

I guess there’s no way to be sure what the Major meant. I checked the OVA subs and dubs and they basically repeat the same line, so there’s nothing for me to triangulate there. And maybe it only refers to Seras being a joke in the sense that she was mostly comic relief up to that point. Even that badass moment she had against Jan Valentine’s ghouls probably didn’t impress anyone at the Millennium office.

Finally, I checked out Hellsing: The Dawn, and it really wasn’t worth the trouble. I couldn’t find any official English release, so I sort of gave up on it, but I finally ran across it last week and decided to check it out.

Basically, it’s only six chapters, and very little actually gets done in those six chapters. I’m not sure if Kouta Hirano is just running super late on the thing, of if he abandoned it completely, but my guess is he got this far in and decided there really wasn’t any point in continuing.

Let me break it down for you.

Chapter 1: Walter is sent to the Major’s facility in Warsaw, to destroy the vampire research. He jumps out of a plane with Alucard’s coffin.

Chapter 2: The Doctor reports on his progress to the Major, and they briefly discuss “She” aka Mina Harker. From what I gather, Mina is still alive/undead in 1944. Then Walter crashes into their facility and declares his intentions to kill them all.

Chapter 3: The Major is impressed with Walter’s power and offers him a place in his command. Walter refuses and the Major leaves him to die at the hands of the Captain.

Chapter 4: Walter fights the Captain, and Alucard finally emerges from his coffin in Girlycard form.

Chapter 5: Walter and Alucard fight the Captain, who now stands revealed as a werewolf. The Major somehow recognizes Alucard on sight and takes an interest in observing the battle.

Chapter 6: Alucard leaves to go hunt down the Captain’s superiors, leaving Walter to fight alone. Alucard then encounters Rip van Winkle and defeats her with ease. He seems like he’s about to kill her when some menacing figures approach from the shadows...

In other words, not a whole lot actually happens that we couldn’t have guessed from the original Hellsing manga. At the rate he was going, it would have taken Hirano maybe 30 or 40 chapters to actually get to anything truly juicy, and I’m not sure the audience would have wanted to wait around for that. The main problem is that we already know how this ends. None of the good guys or bad guys die, because they all show up in Hellsing 55 years later. The Major will lose badly enough that he has to evacuate the whole operation to Brazil, and that interests me because somehow he has to lose this battle, but not so badly that he can’t escape.

What disappoints me is that there’s really only three things of interest about this part of the Hellsing mythos: Walter’s decision to betray England, Alucard’s relationship with Walter, and the Major’s relocation from Euope to South America. The Dawn appears to gloss over all of these. The Major asks Walter to switch sides in their very first encounter. Walter refuses, but we know he’ll say yes later, so there doesn’t feel like there’s any conflict to this. So far, Walter comes off like a little shithead, so if he changes his mind at the end of this story it’ll seem completely capricious. I’d like to think the Major could say something persuasive to convince him, or Alucard could piss Walter off enough to push him into the Major’s arms, but none of that seems to be happening.

The Girlycard form is taken completely for granted. Al shows up and Walter immediately takes offense. He knows Alucard doesn’t normally look like this and he sees no reason for this new look. Al just says the same thing he says about it in 1999, that form and appearance mean nothing to him. Well if it doesn’t mean anything to Alucard or Walter, what’s the point?

The way I always imagined it, the Girlycard form had a lot of emotional baggage for Walter. I figured he met Alucard in this form, and they spent some time together hunting down the Major. Walter fell in love with Girlycard, even though he should have known better, and when Alucard finally abandoned the form, he knew that there was no way his feelings would ever be returned. And this would build resentment within Walter, making him more interested in joining the Major.

Instead, none of that seems to be happening. This is just one big long fight in one building. Hirano already threw his biggest gun at Walter, so there’s no buildup to the Captain. Alucard won’t fight the Captain, but it’s unclear what else he’s supposed to do instead. There might be a good story in all of this, but these first six chapters don’t encourage me. Also, they keep jumping over to check in on Arthur Hellsing in London. I don’t think this guy is Integra’s father, but maybe her grandfather had the same first name? He looks cool, but he has nothing to do. He’s like thousands of miles removed from the action, so anything he says or does just comes back to him talking about how tough and cool Walter is. So yeah, I think The Dawn is a huge waste of time, and maybe Kouta Hirano reached the same conclusion.

And... yeah, that’s all I’ve got. In May, I’ll be liveblogging another comic. Will it be as successful? Only time will tell...

#2021hellsingliveblog #hellsing #hellsing: the dawn #alucard #rip van winkle #seras victoria #walter c dornez

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yourstreetserenade · 4 years

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So as I mentioned I do have a holiday fic which I’ll be posting in December, until then though I thought I’d share the details on another holiday fic idea I had. I had two ideas and I debated on which story to write and in the end, I decided that the following idea would be more time consuming and I just didn’t have it in me. So the following is my nixed holiday fic idea.

It was a future fic in which Brittana were celebrating their first holiday season as a married couple. The gist of it was this...as a newly married pair Santana would introduce Brittany to a long standing tradition in the Lopez household: Black Friday shopping.

Santana would explain that she and her mother, Maribel, take their Black Friday shopping very seriously. Every year, no matter what, Santana and Maribel would meticulously map out their plans weeks in advance, scouting ads for the best deals at the best stores. Even though Santana lives in NY with Brittany and there are better shops in the city, it’s a very important mother-daughter tradition that they do their shopping in Lima at the one huge outlet mall. It’s their turf. So Brittana fly back home to enjoy Thanksgiving with both of their families and it’s over dinner that Whitney learns that Brittany is going to join Santana and Maribel for Black Friday shopping. Feeling as if they should include her as well, the Lopez ladies extend an invitation to Whitney. Later that evening, after filling their bellies with food they prepare for retail war.

Whitney and Brittany are a little taken back by how serious Santana and Maribel are about this. They have laminated maps of the mall, food rations in their bags, mace (in case they encounter any unruly shoppers), perhaps Santana even has a set of brass knuckles (which Maribel confiscates from her daughter). Santana and Maribel approach Black Friday with as much intensity and detail as a military maneuver. Whitney and Brittany side eye how ridiculous they are but they overlook it, Brittany loves Santana and Whitney is just jazzed to be included.

So at midnight, Thanksgiving night, the four women set out on their mission and head to the Lima mall. There’s a few very specific deals they have their eyes on but Maribel has her eyes on a very expensive, very rare handbag. I don’t know handbags, it can be whatever. Hermes, Gucci, whatever. The ladies all agree, the fancy handbag is the priority.

Our characters walk into Lima Mall to utter chaos. Their friends and neighbors have turned savage, Santana and Maribel are nonchalant about this, after all, they’ve done this all their lives. Brittany and Whitney are a little out of their element however, perhaps a little bit overwhelmed and maybe even slightly amused to see the usually calm, professional and articulate Maribel Lopez go absolutely apeshit on someone over an air-fryer. The four ladies navigate the mall without incident and manage to bag some sweet swag. Eventually they take a break, refueling with protein bars between stores, it’s then that Santana and Maribel break it down for the Pierce women. Santana explains that everyone in town - everyone in the mall - knows the Lopez women run that mall each and every Black Friday. The name Lopez strikes fear in most people so for the most part all soccer moms and dads know not to mess with them when they’re after a deal but there’s a couple of families in town that like to play and butt against them in a bid to win more power.

‘’The Cohen-Changs and the Fabrays,’’ Santana identifies the two other mother-daughter pairs she and Maribel have been warring with for decades.

‘’You mean our friends?’’ Brittany would ask.

To which Santana would reply, ‘’They’re not our friends, at least not on Black Friday.’’

Because what happens in the Lima Mall stays in the Lima Mall and it turns out that outside of Mckinely and outside of the Glee club the Lopez’s, Cohen-Changs and the Fabrays have been in competition to be the best, most badass Black Friday deal shoppers. Years of sabotaging each other, one-upping each other and so on. Brittany laughs, but Santana is straight-faced.

‘’Babe, this isn’t a joke,’’ Santana declares. ‘’Our three families have had bad blood for years, okay? You’re an official Lopez now which means you’re a part of this. This is important information that you need to know. Now I haven’t seen the Fabrays or the Cohen Changs today but that doesn’t mean they’re not here. This handbag is the holy grail - the it item of the season. My moms wants it but word is the department store has a very limited stock. We gotta make sure we get our hands on one before either of those bitch ass families do!’’

Meanwhile! Interspersed with all of the action scenes in the mall there will be a handful of cutaway scenes that take place in the parking lot as Brittany’s dad and Santana’s dad wait for the women in the Pierce family’s old minivan. Lots of silly banter, with Santana’s dad being the serious straight laced one and Pierce being...Pierce.

The four ladies gear up at the mall, arming themselves with walkies and essentials before storming the department store in question. They wade through the mass of people, elbowing and kicking and screaming and through team work they manage to get their hand on the very last handbag - the handbag of Maribel’s dreams. There’s a moment of celebration between them all until they realize - where’s Brittany?

It seems in the kerfuffle to get their hands on the bag Brittany has vanished, swallowed up into the crowds.

The three women are confused but don’t panic until they hear a message over their walkies. It seems someone has ‘’intercepted’’ Brittany.

‘’You hand over the bag, we hand over your wife,’’ says the person who has taken Brittany and is using Britt’s walkie to make demands on the Lopez-Pierce women.

Santana doesn’t need to be told who it is, she already knows. ‘’Fabray,’’ Santana seethes.

Insert a FaceTime call. Santana and Quinn glare at each other down via their devices. ‘’What do you want, Quinn?’’

‘’I think I’ve made my demands fairly clear, Santana. I want the bag. The choice is yours, you can either trade the bag for your wife or you can keep the bag and suffer the consequences. Who knows what horrible things will be inflicted upon Brittany in the meantime.’’

‘’Hey, babe,’’ Brittany would greet Santana, pushing up against Quinn in order to be in the video frame. ‘’Quinn just bought me a bunch of churros!’’

‘’Brittany, go sit down!’’ Quinn shoves a perfectly safe, perfectly intact Brittany away because obviously this is more of a mind game than a lethal game, but Quinn and Santana are both playing up the intensity for all it’s worth, cause comedy. ‘’As I was saying, Lopez, if you want to see your wife again, you’ll hand over the bag. She’s being held captive at an undisclosed location. You have two hours to make your decision. I’ll contact you again with the location of the trade off, if you dare contact mall security, well...I can’t promise Brittany’s safe return.’’

‘’Quinn, can we go get some Panda Express?’’

‘’Yes, Brittany, we can go get some Panda Express.’’

End call.

Insert some crazed primal scream from Santana. Because of course!

Of course Fabray would play it like this. Of course Quinn would be after this hot bag and of course she would play dirty. This was Quinn’s plan all along, Santana concludes, Quinn would let Santana, Maribel, Whitney and Brittany do the dirty work of actually going through the great unwashed crowds, only to ‘kidnap’ Brittany for the trade off. Quinn would get the bag without having to do any of the work. Evil genius! Santana is mildly impressed but she isn’t about to submit. Maribel is worried and Whitney is on edge so Santana takes the lead in this.

‘’Here’s what we’re going to do - we’re going to play along,’’ she tells her mother and mother in law. ‘’We’re going to make Quinn think we’re going to meet for a trade off but it’ll be trap. We’re going to walk away with Brittany and the bag. They’re somewhere in the mall and we just have to find them.’’

Then insert lots of little scenes as the ladies make their way through the mall, perhaps even bumping into other Glee characters (because everyone is home for Thanksgiving and there’s literally nothing else to do in town). Maybe there’s a short montage as they travel from level to level, occasionally stopping to buy and eat a hot cookie as they search for Quinn’s makeshift lair in the mall.

Eventually all of their running around and clue collecting leads them to believe that Quinn is keeping Brittany in the back stockroom of a Claire’s (which is really sort of a nod to the fact that Claire’s used to sell a lot of silly Glee merch back in the day, like there were Rachel and Quinn themed makeup ‘’palettes’’ lol - also does anyone wish they could go back in time and actually buy all of the dumb Glee merch just to have for shits and giggles and nostaglia, sometimes I do, I remember once going into a Barnes and Noble and seeing a backpack with Finn’s face on it, god, 2009 was a simpler, stupider time and I miss it). Anyway! They make their way to the Claire’s in the mall, bust into the back stock room to find Brittany - again perfectly safe and totally nonchalant. And because they outnumber Quinn they’re able to take back Brittany...briefly.

Once they defeat Quinn (who is left beneath a huge pile of headbands or something) they make their way out back into the main walkway of the mall only to find some giant dance mob demonstration happening with carollers and all kinds of nonsense. It’s there that Brittany gets ‘intercepted’ once again!

They may have just defeated Quinn but they forgot about their other bitter rival: one Tina Cohen Chang.

‘’I’m gonna kick your sneaky ninja ass when I see you Tina,’’ Santana declares over FaceTime.

Tina isn’t amused. ‘’First of all, racist, second of all, how does it feel to lose your wife not once, but twice, Santana?’’

‘’You should know by how I handled Fabray that I don’t negotiate with terrorists, Chang.’’

Thus begins another mission through the mall to find Brittany and again Santana, Whitney and Maribel have to navigate through several stores which have turned into complete war zones. Soccer moms fighting over big screen tvs and people punching each other out over shoes, etc. As they move through stores, kiosks and the food court Santana is in a rage. This wasn’t how their first joint Black Friday as a married couple was supposed to go, she should’ve known once she brought Brittany into the fold others would use her as pawn to gain more power and knock the Lopez family down. Revenge for all those years of the Lopez family tricking, manipulating and fighting dirty on every Black Friday for the past ten years.

Maribel honestly doesn’t care at this point. ‘’Look if they want the bag we can just give them the bag, I’m tired, I just want to get Brittany so we can all go home.’’

But Santana isn’t having it. ‘’No, we’re getting Brittany but we’re not handing over that bag, mom. This mall is our turf - we run it. Retaliation must be swift and brutal. Gangland rules. We figured out where Quinn’s hideout was, we can find Tina’s too and then I’m going to bust a metaphorical cap in her metaphorical ass!’’

After some brief brainstorming Santana decides to make some calls. Insert Face Time with Mercedes, who’s bleary eyed because unlike her idiot friends, she’s at her family home in Lima in bed where all the normal people are Thanksgiving night at 2am.

‘’If Tina were to set up a secret ninja liar in any store at a mall, what store would it be?’’ Santana would ask in greeting.

‘’What the hell are you talking about?’’ Mercedes would scramble to look at the time. ‘’What, it’s 2am, what’s going on - oh wait. Black Friday. Let me guess.’’

‘’Tina has Brittany and she’s holding her hostage somewhere in the mall unless I hand over a Hermes bag!’’

‘’It’s too damn early for any of this nonsense, I’m hanging up.’’

‘’Wait, no, Mercedes, I need your help.’’

‘’Well, junior year whenever Tina and I would hang out at the mall, her favorite store was always Hot Topic.’’

‘’Of course, goth phase era Tina. Why didn’t I think of that?’’

And this of course would be a nod to the Hot Topic tour the cast did when the show first started. They surround the corner Hot Topic to find Tina holding Brittany captive among a bunch of emo shit. Then begins a brief but hilarious tussle between Santana and Tina who is eventually restrained and tied up using like, tattered emo black lace tights.

The gang of ladies walks out of the Hot Topic, again to madness going on all around them within the mall. There’s fist fights, there’s screaming, maybe even a small fire, the residents of Lima have mad this Black Friday and the mall is a warzone. People have gone straight up gorilla and now the mission is to escape the front doors but before they can there’s another interception!

Except this time it’s Maribel and Whitney who are whisked away, vanished into the crazy crowds. Brittany and Santana are confused but once Quinn and Tina join them in their spot, our pair realizes neither Quinn nor Tina are responsible for their moms going MIA. One, they’re standing right in front of them so they couldn’t have and two, they’re not that organized or powerful.

Who could it be this time? And why take their mothers?

The answer comes when they get a FaceTime call from someone from their past. The only person who could and would hire henchmen and go to crazy lengths to get her way. Sue. On screen Sue is sitting in a chair, petting a cat, full villian mode.

‘’Let me guess, you want the handbag?’’ Santana huffs. ‘’Why, it isn’t even your style, what the hell would you want with it?’’

Sue shrugs. ‘’When I travel by plane I tend to get sick in the air and I’d like to use it as my primary vomit bag. If I’m flying first class I’d prefer to vomit in style. I’ve been watching you, your friends and family run around the mall all night, sandbags. Quinn and Tina are amateurs but you know that unlike those two boobs, I can do serious damage if I so chose. So hand over the bag and I’ll hand over your mothers.’’

End call. Brittany and Santana, as well as Tina and Quinn converge to discuss. Yes, Tina and Quinn kidnapped Brittany earlier but those were harmless power plays, but Sue? Who the hell knows what she’s capable of, Quinn reminds them, after all, she almost shot Brittany out a cannon junior year. Sue could ship their moms off to some deserted island or frame them for tax fraud or waterboard them or all kinds of crazy shit.

‘’I’m not handing over this Hermes bag so Sue can puke in it during plane rides,’’ Santana declares.

‘’She has our moms, Santana,’’ Brittany urges.

‘’Look, I got you back twice, didn’t I? I’ll get our moms back.’’

‘’Yeah but what were you up against? Tina? Quinn? No offense, ladies, but you never stood a chance. But Sue? She’s like a legit Disney villian, Santana.’’

Thus begins ANOTHER trek through the mall, this one takes them through employees only section, security camera rooms and air vents. Like all of the action movie tropes, but in this instance played for laughs and all taking place in a shopping mall. Eventually it all leads to a big showdown on the mall rooftop where Sue is leaning into the villian role, even going so far as to tie up Maribel and Whitney to chairs and putting bags over their heads.

‘’Tweedledee, Tweedle fakeboobs, you’ve arrived,’’ Sue greets them.

‘’Here’s the damn bag now let our moms go.’’ Santana tosses the bag in Sue’s direction like this is some kind of mob pay off or drug deal.

Sue inspects the bag and then nudges the moms up and our of their chairs, the moms blindly walk towards their daughters. Lots of hugging and embracing as they work to release Maribel and Whitney of their blindfolds and hand restraints. All the while Sue stands tall, observing the tiny dots of people exiting the building with shopping bags in tow. She has a long and ridiculous spiel about consumerism, american greed, materialism and such. ‘’Look at those unwashed idiots, screaming and trampling and stabbing each other and for what? Big screen TVs and seventy five percent off of mom jeans at Old Navy. Have they no sanctity for the holiday? Then again this holiday is based on a false narrative to erase the very real pillaging and destruction of a native culture so perhaps this…’’ she makes a wave to the barbiac acts and people below them. ‘’...is very much in line with what the holiday represents. Either way, I’m off to spend the next two weeks on my private island so I have a plane to catch and a bag to vomit into. Always a pleasure, Lopez, Pierce.’’

And with that Sue zooms off - taken away by some helicopter that swoops in and scoops her up and all of them are like ‘what the hell’ cause where the hell did the helicopter come from. It’s no matter because they start their way back down off the roof and into the mall. Their all a little worse for wear, some have limps or bruises or small injuries from the evening’s events but they all survived Black Friday at least. Wearily they go down and collect their belongings from where they had hidden/stored them earlier before all the action went down and slowly they FINALLY make their way out of the mall after several hours inside.

The four women enter the Pierce minivan, injured and disheveled. Santana’s father and Brittany’s father jointly turn in their seats.

‘’You girls have fun with your shopping? You get any good deals?’’ Pierce Pierce asks.

‘’I think my ear is broken. Can ears be broken? I got punched in the ear earlier and it feels broken to me,’’ Santana states dryly and to no one in particular.

‘’Honey,’’ Maribel sighs to her husband in the driver’s seat. ‘’Just get us home.’’

Cut to later that night (or technically it’d be the wee hours of the morning, since they start Black Friday shopping at midnight, so when they arrive home it’d be 3 or 4am). Whitney and Pierce have retired to their home. Maribel and Santana’s father have gone to bed as well. Santana and Brittany are in Santana’s old bedroom. Brittany has stitched Santana’s little scraps and bruises up as they prepare for bed.

‘’I’m sorry we all got kidnapped so much tonight,’’ Brittany says.

‘’Babe, it’s not your fault.’’

‘’I know but I feel like me being there got in the way of you and your mom doing your thing, you know?’’

‘’I mean, Black Friday shopping has been a mother-daughter tradition for us since forever, but you’re my family, Britt, that means you’re a part of all the traditions now too, if you want to take part. Although I’m guessing after tonight you’ll never want to go Black Friday shopping with us again.’’

‘’What, are you kidding? If you ask me tonight was a blast! I mean yeah I was a little worried when Sue took our moms for a second but it was also kind of cool, the four of us being a family and doing family things. Like battling the crowds and all of the insanity was a lot but it was also kind of fun. Plus, it was super hot how you got all take chargey and came to rescue me.’’

‘’Hot huh?’’

‘’Totally hot. All that smoldering and chest-heaving…’’ Brittany makes a show of fanning her face.

Santana does her bashful thing but relishes the attention and the kisses and affection Brittany lays on her.

‘’But it also meant a lot to see that you would go to the end of the earth for each of us, all of us and that’s really what this season is all about,’’ Brittany continues, hugging and smooching on Santana. ‘’Family.’’

Cut to a month later. Thanksgiving and Black Friday have passed. Brittany and Santana are once again back in Lima with their families to celebrate Christmas. Everyone is happy and enjoying themselves but Santana’s a little sad she couldn’t give her mother the beautiful rare handbag she had wanted. Maribel waves her daughter off, yes they lost the bag but it doesn’t matter. They still have their tradition and their bond, and now they get to share the experience every single year with Brittany and Whitney now too.

‘’As wild as it was that night, it’s also felt like an adventure with those two along for the ride. I may not have a purse or any material thing to show for the experience but that doesn’t matter. The experience was a gift in itself. Now I have another daughter, now you have another mother, that makes this mother-daughter tradition we have even more wonderful. Plus it means we have an extra two pairs of hands so it’s easier to loot stores.’’

Insert some sweet brief exchanges between Brittany, Santana, Whitney and Maribel who have bonded over the hell that was the first annual Lopez-Pierce Black Friday Shopping Extravaganza.

...

There would be lots of little details and kinks to work out, not to mention a ton of interaction between Santana-Whitney, Whitney-Maribel, Maribel-Brittany in between all of the running around. The characters would have to be moving through the mall constantly and, it would be a lot. Also I don’t know if anyone has noticed but I tend to write things that are very contained. Bachelorette takes place in the span of one night, so does You Instead, IWLTM takes place over the course of one summer. I have this habit of containing the characters either within a space of time or in a specific physical area or both and making that work is always a tricky thing. I just didn’t feel like creating another sprawling fic like that so, I opted for something a little more simple.

I doubt I’ll ever use this Black Friday fic idea but I feel like if I ever had the time to devote to it, it would be a fun and hilarious ride. I wish I could take you readers on it, but, I hope you got a chuckle out of this maybe?

Anyways, if you go Black Friday shopping, be safe and don’t get kidnapped! :)

#brittana #santana lopez #brittany s. pierce #i'll never write this but imagine the comedic possibilites!

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inhumansforever · 7 years

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Black Bolt #3 Review

spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers

It's another wild and gorgeously rendered installment of Saladin Ahmed and Christian Ward’s Black Bolt. Full recap and review following the jump.

Maximus’ trickery has left Black Bolt stranded in a strange cosmic prison nestled off in the corner of some far off galaxy. The prison is lorded over by the immensely powerful Jailer and his chief lieutenant, The Spyder. Black Bolt has made allies among his fellow inmates, specially Crusher ‘The Absorbing Man’ Creel, The Metal Master, a Skrull pirate named Raava and a telepathic alien child incarcerated simply due to poor circumstances named Blinky.

Black Bolt has agreed to participate in a break-out and no sooner than he agrees then the plan is engaged. The Metal Master has somehow regained the use of his magnetic powers which he employs to tear open the cell holding BB and his new allies. It’s a good first step, but only a first step and if they are to make it all the way to freedom they are going to need to regain the use of their own powers. This is Black Bolt’s role in the scheme. He has to take on The Spyder, defeat the villain and procure from him a box-like device that works the prison’s power dampeners.

Searching through the labyrinth of the prison, Black Bolt comes across the Spyder, who is in the process of paying the intergalactic bounty hunter, Death’s Head, for his delivery of a new inmate. Death’s Head originates from marvel comics United Kingdom imprint; although he has only appeared in a handful of comics here in the States, the cyborg mercenary enjoyed a good deal popularity overseas. He’s also a total badass and, without his powers, BB really has no chance against him.

The matter aside, Black Bolt leaps into action, attacking The Spyder and taking the box from him. The Spyder orders Death’s Head to attack and a firefight ensues.

BB is outmatched, yet before Death’s Head can go in for the kill a slight signal goes off. The signal indicates that the transfer of funds that Death’s Head has been paid for delivering new prisoner has successfully gone through. The cyborg is only interested in fees for service and now that he has been paid his interest in the affairs of the prison is over. He disengaged from Black Bolt and goes about his merry way; leaving the Spyder at Black Bolt’s mercy.

Having accomplished his task, Black Bolt rejoins the others. Young Blinky embraces Black Bolt, so happy to see him. It’s a neat scene that highlights artist Christian Ward’s skill for relating story and emotion in subtle facial features. It’s quite clear that Blinky is very much in need of a parental figure; as is it clear that BB is quite uncomfortable fulfilling this role. It looks quite likely that we are going to get to see a lot more of the father/daughter relationship developing between these two as the series progresses and I’m quite looking forward to seeing how it goes down.

Disabling the control box returns Black Bolt and the others their powers. Which is fortunate fore as Black Bolt and his colleagues open a new corridor then come face to face with the giant creature known as Monstroso (the new inmate that Death’s Head had delivered to the prison). Rather than fighting the behemoth, Blinky uses her psychic powers to communicate with it. It turns out that the creature is little more than a child whose destructive acts were simply the results of his being scared and separated from his parents.

They leave the child-like Monstroso in peace. Raava expresses her annoyance that they opted not to recruit the creature to their cause; The Metal Master retorts that using the creature to their bidding would make them no better than the sinister Jailer who has toyed with them all with such cruelty (though the explanation does little to assuage Raava’s bemusement).

As for Black Bolt, he in no longer interested in simply escaping. This whole torture chamber of a prison is an effrontery to his sensibilities and he is now committed to destroying The Jailer and bringing an end to his sadistic ways.

Venturing deeper into the shifting labyrinth of the group come across what appears to be an enormous engine. Creel (showing a bit more insight than one might expect from him) ascertains that the whole thing is a power cell, a dynamo through which The Jailer fuels himself, feeds, off the anguish and pain that he subjects to his inmates. The Jailer is some sort of psychic energy vampire who gains sustenance from the pain brought about from killing and resurrecting his prisoners.

The Jailer himself arrives, still prattling on about penance and repentance. The team attacks. Black Bolt summons his willpower and control over molecular energy into a single punch, a move referred to as ‘the master blow.’ This tactic has fallen the likes of The Thing and the Incredible Hulk, yet The Jailer is able to endure it without falling. Left with no option, Black Botl releases his ultimately weapon, his voice, uttering the word ‘die.’

The resulting sonic blast knocks the jailer through a wall, opening up into a large antechamber where The Jailer’s true being resides. The Jailer’s body as we have seen it thus far appears to be little more than an automaton... a psychical vessel for his psychic powers. The true Jailer is a series of organs, brains, eyes and hearts each contained within orbs of crackling psychic energy. Somehow these disparate, dissected organ work in concert, wielding an awesome power. The sight of it, the raw power created by this grotesque mechanism, strikes fear into Black Bolt’s heart.

Yet this fear will not stop him and Black Bolt rats forward, attacking the being head-on. And it is with Black Bolt’s valiant thrust into action that the issue comes to a cliffhanger end, to be continued with the next installment.

Ahmed and Ward’s tale continues to be the kind of Inhumans book I have very much longed for. It feels less like your typical Marvel Comic and more like a neat science fiction tale one might come across in an old issue of Métal Hurlant. The ideas and visuals make for a bizarre feast for the mind and eyes. Although Ahmed draws a lot of random characters from Marvel’s backlog, the story stands very much on its own. It’s kind of like an Image Comic that’s been furtively snuck into Marvel.

Ahmed is still building upon and developing the characters who make up the ensemble cast. At times this process ends up a little heavy on the dialogue, with a bit more spoken exposition than is necessary. Yet I don’t mind it in that the characters themselves are rich and a lot of fun to get to know. Whereas Crusher Creel kind of stole the show last issue, Raava takes over some of the spotlight in this issue. She’s fascinating; I’m really digging her.

This is not to say that Black Bolt himself isn’t being offered further character development. Unlike his newfound colleagues, BB’s development is handled with a good deal more subtly. Ward’s style is a bit minimalistic when it comes to facial expression, yet he still manages to relay a great deal with the few lines he utilizes. BB’s feelings are easy to read on his face. He’s no longer a king, but that sense of responsibility and need for justice is still a significant part of who he is. He is determined to end The Jailer not just for what the Jailer had done to him, but rather because he is a blight on the universe and BB feels it his duty to end this menace.

Yet, while fulfilling what he sees as his kingly duties comes naturally to Black Bolt, being close with others, the bond he has forged with Blinky and his colleagues seems to strike him as unfamiliar and difficult. Creel’s playful banter, Raava’s flirtation and Blinky’s affection all seem to make BB bristle and he reacts in a clumsy fashion to it, It feels like, though he is unaccustomed to such closeness, what is actually jarring about it all is that it is nice, that it’s something that he actually wants. The action is all exciting and wonderfully, richly depicted… yet it is BB’s emotional, interpersonal journey that I find myself the most interested in seeing more of.

Some further notes:

Although a Skrull, Raava chooses not to utilize her powers for shapeshifting. She had never leaned to cultivate this power and explains that it is because she likes how she looks and has no interest to altering it. It’s not exactly a good decision on a tactical level, but has a nice body-positive feel to it.

Rather than shapeshifting, Raava possesses powers not usually seen in Scrulls, such as the ability to fly and generate energy swords. Each of her swords are named after her dead son and daughter.

It was an interesting twist to hear that The Metal Master had once had a husband. Some might roll their eyes over what they see as the progressively-mandated mindset of including a gay character into he cast. Yet, keep in mind that The Metal Master heralds from an alien world and the idea that heterosexuality is the de facto norm on other worlds is a presumptive fallacy.

Monstroso is one of the lessor known entries of the bevy of monsters that Kirby, Ditko and Lee created in the early issues of Tales to Astonish. Monstroso himself first appeared in a backstory to Tales to Astonish #18 written and illustrated by Steve Ditcko. The creature also made a brief appearance in the much more recent Monsters Unleashed miniseries. Although, given this version of Monstroso’s more child-like nature, it is possible that he is the offspring of the original Monstroso.

It remains unclear what exactly The Jailer is and how he came to be. The dissected pieces that work in concert to generate his powers must have been built by someone or something; and I’m not sure if or when we will learn how he came to be. The technology employed in the prison is of a higher order than anything we have seen from such peoples as the Kree or Shi’Ar. The whole matter remains a mystery.

Fans of Death’s Head will appreciate that Ahmed’s dialogue is very much in tune with the signature cadence of how the character talks.

Blinky’s telepathic powers will allow her to continue to communicate with Black Bolt now that he has his powers back.

Ward illustrates Black Bolt in his own unique way. His costume appears quite a bit different compared to his original outfit as well as the redesign he’s been sporting of late. I quite like Ward’s take on BB’s look, although I’m not that into how he draws BB’s wing’s. Rather than the accordion bat-like wings, Eard draws BB’s wings as being more like a slight filament that generates from his wrist to hip, appear and disappearing as needed. It’s a neat looking effect, but personally I prefer the bat style wings.

Christian Ward sneaks in a neat homage to fellow artist, Steve McNiven, in the scene where BB first enters into the antechamber where the Jailer’s true form resides. Black Bolt’s silhouette is reminiscent to the cover art McNiven provided for Uncanny Inhumans #0.

Another can’t miss issue. Five out of five Lockjaws!

#Inhumans #Black Bolt #spoilers #Christian Ward #Saladin Ahmed #review

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kayostesting · 7 years

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"With every death comes honor. With honor, redemption." Voiced by: Paul Nakauchi (English), Dan Osorio (Latin American Spanish), Miguel Ángel Montero (European Spanish), Shuhei Sakaguchi (Japanese), Lionel Tua (French), Reginaldo Primo (Brazilian Portuguese), Lorenzo Scattorin (Italian), Bernd Vollbrecht (German), Hanshin (Korean), Kang Dian-Hong (Taiwanese Chinese), Liú Běichén (Mandarin Chinese), Krzysztof Cybiński (Polish), Ilya Isayev (Russian) The Shimada family was established centuries ago, a clan of assassins whose power grew over the years, enabling them to build a vast criminal empire that profited from lucrative trade in arms and illegal substances. As the eldest son of the family's head, Hanzo was bound by duty to succeed his father and rule the Shimada empire. From a young age, he was trained for that responsibility, displaying a natural aptitude for leadership and possessing an innate understanding of strategy and tactics. He also excelled in more practical areas: he was a prodigy in martial arts, swordplay, and bowmanship. Upon the death of his father, the clan elders instructed Hanzo to straighten out his wayward younger brother so that he, too, might help rule the Shimada empire. When his brother refused, Hanzo was forced to kill him. This act broke Hanzo's heart and drove him to reject his father's legacy, ultimately leading him to abandon the clan and all that he had worked so hard to attain. Now, Hanzo travels the world, perfecting his skills as a warrior, attempting to restore his honor and put the ghosts of his past to rest. Once a year, he snuck into his old home, which now sends assassins to kill him for his desertion. His goal was mostly to honor the spirit of his brother. Until one day, he was assaulted in the same place by a mysterious Cyber Ninja that lectured him about his actions, or rather, his inaction towards the changing world. The lecture turned into a fierce battle and, to Hanzo's shock, the ninja revealed himself as Genji, saved from death by Overwatch. Genji forgives him, but Hanzo becomes furious after realizing that Genji's survival rendered the Redemption Quest to honor him meaningless, and calls Genji foolish to still believe in childish ideals from fairy tales. Even so, Genji's words left him conflicted about the future and his feelings for his brother. Hanzo is a Defensive character who can sneak into an enemy's holdout and silently kill them before moving on to his next target. Eschewing the favored weapons of his time, his weapon is the Storm Bow, a mechanical bow that can fire all sorts of mechanical, or mundane, arrows at enemies. He has the ability to Wall Climb, which lets him climb up a vertical surface. His first ability is Sonic Arrow. Hanzo fires at arrow at the location that releases a pulse of sound, signaling to him whether or not nearby enemies are beyond the wall or nearby. His second ability, Scatter Arrow, fires an arrow that ricochets off walls and objects, enabling him to strike at angles and hit multiple targets. His ultimate, Dragonstrike, takes off the guise of stealth and summons a pair of Spirit Dragons that travel forward from his location, killing any enemies in its path. Animal Motifs: Besides the obvious dragon, Hanzo has several Legendary skins that give him a wolf-based look instead; he wears wolf pelts on his head and shoulders, and his ultimate ability replaces the Spirit Dragons with howling wolves. On a symbolic level, dragons in some Asian cultures represent prosperity, strength, and good fortune and are typically benevolent creatures, but because the dragon is the family icon of the Shimada clan's criminal empire, the Western depiction of dragons being creatures of evil applies as well. Wolves, on the other hand, represent freedom as well as family and community, but they also symbolize a lack of trust in others and/or yourself - despite having had broken away from his family after nearly killing Genji, Hanzo still feels a lingering sense of loyalty and duty, and much of his inner conflict stems from his choice of either following his clan's footsteps or forgive himself and pursue the heroic path like Genji did. The Atoner: He seeks to regain his honor for both killing his brother and for being a part of a criminal clan that would force him to do such a thing. Arrogant Kung-Fu Guy: He's quite cocky and contemptuous towards his enemies, and openly gloats about his skills in combat. Awesome Anachronistic Apparel: His outfit is based on feudal Japanese ninja clothing with modern touches such as futuristic boots and a waist pack. Doesn't stop it from looking awesome. Badass Beard: He has a small one along with a Badass Mustache. Badass Boast: Gives one to Genji in Dragons, mistaking him for an assassin: Hanzo: You are not the first assassin sent to kill me. And you will not be the last. Beard of Sorrow: The mustache and small beard he has now? He didn't start growing it until after he was forced to kill his younger brother Genji. Becoming the Costume: Hanzo's Okami and Lone Wolf skins change a large number of lines, replacing his dragon motif with a wolf one. For example, when launching his Sonic Arrow, instead of saying "Marked by the dragon," he'll say "The wolf marks its prey." His Ultimate line changes from "Let the dragon consume you!"/"Ryū ga waga teki o kurau!" to "The wolf hunts for his prey!"/"Ōkami yo, waga teki o kurae!" Additionally, the projectile itself becomes two wolves instead of dragons, changing the roar sound to howling, and if it gets any kills, Hanzo says "The wolf is sated" instead of "The dragon is sated." Berserk Button: Genji. As if being forced to kill him wasn't enough to leave Hanzo a remorseful wreck, he now finds out that his brother is alive and well and is willing to forgive him for an act that caused him to abandon his family and spend his entire life on an ultimately-pointless redemption quest for something he began to view as irredeemable. Mentioning Genji or bringing up the fact that the two are similar will result in Hanzo furiously and spitefully denying him. Bottomless Magazines: While played straight in the game itself, in the animated short "Dragons" he runs out of arrows during his fight with Genji and has to pick them up from where he fired them. Bring It: One of his taunts is a classic "Come and get me" gesture. Cain and Abel: After their father's death, tensions rose between him and his brother Genji until he was forced by the clan elders to kill him. Even after his brother shows up alive again, Hanzo has very conflicted feelings about him, despite Genji forgiving him. Genji: "It is not too late to change your course, brother." Hanzo: "You may call yourself my brother, but you are not the Genji I knew." Charged Attack: His Storm Bow is Hold-type; simply tapping the fire button fires a very weak arrow, but holding it down for full power allows it to One-Hit Kill non-tanks with a headshot. Dark is Not Evil: Despite wearing mostly black, having an evil looking scowl most of the time, and is not the White Sheep of his criminal empire family, he's far from evil himself; having performed a Heel–Face Turn after (almost) murdering Genji. Death Seeker: Implied: he tells Genji to kill him in Dragons and Genji replies that he will not grant him the death he wishes for. There's also his Halloween "R.I.P." victory pose, where unlike everybody else who is bursting from out of their graves, Hanzo seems perfectly content staying put.◊ Decomposite Character: He and his brother were originally one cyber ninja in concept. The character however was too unfocused in design due to being crammed with too many ninja weapons and gimmicks. Rather than scrap the idea though, the character was made into two brothers. Hanzo inherited the clothes, bow usage, and name the original character had. Defector from Decadence: He left his family and the criminal empire he could have ruled since it cost him his brother. Downplayed as a few of his quotes imply he regret having left the Yakuza lifestyle. Difficult but Awesome: He's rated 3 stars for a reason. He's difficult in that his arrows require draw time and are projectiles instead of hitscan-based which also avert No "Arc" in "Archery", meaning actually hitting a target requires consistent aim and prediction, not helped by the lack of a scope making it more difficult to aim precisely. His kit is entirely based around dealing burst damage and getting picks, and if he fails to do so, he might be considered The Millstone by his team. His Dragonstrike ultimate is also difficult to use effectively, as while it has huge damage and AoE, it's a Painfully Slow Projectile that can be easily avoided through experience, meaning you'll have to get crafty to use it properly. He's awesome in that his arrows' lack of a scope prevents him from suffering tunnel vision, he requires virtually no reloading, he has one of the only abilities in the game that can provide team-wide vision, and his potential mid-to-long-range damage output is absolutely absurd. A well-trained Hanzo can easily shut down enemy teams before they can touch the objective. Don't You Dare Pity Me!: In every interaction where Genji shows Hanzo sympathy or tries to give him a speech, Hanzo lashes out and insults Genji. Drowning My Sorrows: The Halloween update reveals his canteen is always full of sake. And it's one of the biggest canteens among the cast members who have them. Presumably it's to dull the constant guilt and regret he feels. Due to the Dead: It's revealed in "Dragons" that every year he returns to Hanamura, his former home, to pay tribute to his dead younger brother Genji. Until he learns Genji is not dead as previously thought. The Dutiful Son: While he has renounced his family ties after being forced to kill Genji, pre-match dialogue implies that he on some level regrets his decision and wants to make his family great again, yet it is implied that he has some clear standards on how to do it, such as when he turns down Widowmaker's offer to join Talon in exchange for his family's restoration. And part of the reason why Hanzo resents Genji is because of the latter's refusal to toe the line, resulting in their fated battle and causing everything to fall apart. And now that brother is revealed to be still alive, all of that grief and the journey to atone for his sins had been completely for nothing. Fingerless Gloves: Of a sort. He wears a special archery glove note on his right hand that covers everything except his ring finger and pinky. Foolish Sibling, Responsible Sibling: The dutiful, responsible older brother of the foolish, hedonistic Genji, back when both of them were living in Hanamura and their scuffle that led to Genji's cybernetic transformation didn't happen yet. Glass Cannon: Can deal high damage with his arrows and ultimate ability, however, he has mediocre health and no mobility-boosting abilities other than wall-climbing. Gameplay and Story Segregation: In-game, Hanzo can only shoot his arrows straight, even if they will eventually fall to gravity. In the Dragons animated short, his arrows can make a sideway arc, shoot to the side, and the arrow takes a turn to straight in front of Hanzo. Hazy Feel Turn: Hanzo did not leave the life of a criminal behind, seeing as he still carries out assassinations. He did, however, leave the Shimada clan behind, and, even if he express regret at doing it, refuses to associate with outright villainous groups like Talon. Heroic B.S.O.D.: Upon learning in the end of "Dragons" that Genji is still alive (albeit as a cyborg) and has forgiven him for nearly killing him on the orders of their clan elders, Hanzo's response is to continue burning incense as tribute to his brother like nothing happened as if he's in complete denial. It's suggested that his hostile banter with Genji during gameplay may have stemmed from this. Heroes Prefer Swords: Averted. He was trained in the use of one, but after he was forced to kill Genji, he swore never to pick up another blade, instead using a bow and arrow. Hitbox Dissonance: The Hero. Hanzo's arrow hitbox is roughly twice as wide as the actual character model, and just hitting in the upper portion of that giant hitbox counts as a headshot. I Did What I Had to Do: He considers his act of killing Genji as something he had to do in order to placate his clan's elders and restore order to his already broken family, but it's clear that he deeply regrets it. Important Haircut: He used to have much longer hair in his twenties, and in "Reflections" (which takes place after "Dragons") he sports an undercut. Improbable Aiming Skills: A good chunk of what he does with his arrows in "Dragons", most notably the part where he shoots an arrow which curves to hit and destroy a cellphone when a) he's grappling someone at the same time, b) the cellphone is moving and c) from where he shoots, Hanzo couldn't possibly see the point where his arrow lands. Improbable Use of a Weapon: He's shown to be quite versatile with his bow in "Dragons," using it as a melee weapon in several instances. In fact, in his fight against Genji, he actually finds more success this way than through firing arrows. Instant Awesome, Just Add Dragons: His ultimate summons two Spirit Dragons that go through walls and kills everything in their path. Jerkass Façade: Usually his default persona is The Atoner. But, he's usually very nasty to Genji even after what he did, for ill-defined reasons. Mage Marksman: Uses Trick Arrows to fight, and then there's the whole "shooting out two spirit dragons" thing. Master Swordsman: Word of God says he's actually a master swordsman who's probably even better than his brother. However because of what happened with Genji, Hanzo put down the sword for good and picked up the bow instead. His old sword can still be found displayed in the Hanamura dojo with a chipped blade. Meaningful Name: His name alludes to Hattori Hanzo, one of the most famous Real Life samurai.* Mr. Fanservice: Half-shirtless, with a very extensive dragon tattoo. My God, What Have I Done?: Seemingly killing his brother Genji broke his heart and caused him to leave the clan to atone for what he had done. My Greatest Failure: The day he was forced to kill his little brother by his clan's elders was this for Hanzo. It's one of the main reasons he became The Atoner. Nice Job Fixing It, Villain!: When he (apparently) murdered his own brother to appease the clan elders and prevent the families dissolution, he instead accidentally turned Genji into the hero who would single-handedly dismantle the clan and leave it a pale husk of its former self. Ninja: Since the Shimada Clan was a family of ninjas before becoming Yakuza, Hanzo was trained as a ninja himself. Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: His Halloween skin basically makes him into a Zombie Ninja. No "Arc" in "Archery": Averted! Unlike every other primary weapon in the game other than Torbjörn's, all of Hanzo's arrows are affected by gravity, including those spawning from his Scatter Arrow. Judging how to aim at a distance based on this arc is one of the reasons aiming with him can be quite tough. Not So Different: From Genji, at least in the eyes of Zenyatta. Zenyatta: I sense within you the same rage that once consumed your brother. Hanzo: We are nothing alike! Not So Stoic: His in-game lines are pretty chill and monotonous, but mentioning his younger brother (as seen in the "Dragons" short) makes him rash and angry. Perpetual Frowner: With good reason, admittedly. Pinball Projectile: Scatter Arrow causes Hanzo's arrow to explode into several more upon hitting a surface, each of which retain a normal arrow's general damage. An easy strategy for taking out squishy targets is to aim one right at their feet, so multiple arrows explode from under them. Or just have some really, really lucky geometry working for you. Power Tattoo: In the animated short "Dragons", his dragon tattoo glows as he unleashes his Dragonstrike. In fact the spirit dragons seem to appear from the tattoo before being unleashed through the arrow he fires. Redemption Rejection: Self-invoked example. He simply won't forgive himself for what he did to Genji and refused to redeem himself with Overwatch even after Genji explicitly forgave him with a You Are Better Than You Think You Are speech at the end of "Dragons". Sibling Rivalry: Despite wishing to atone for nearly killing Genji, Hanzo still prides himself on honor and looks down upon his brother for his hedonistic lifestyle even after he had become a cyborg and mellowed out. This conversation before a match begins says it all. Hanzo: You will never amount to anything! Genji: We shall see...brother. Silly Rabbit, Idealism Is for Kids!: To Genji in Dragons: Hanzo: Real life is not like the stories our father told us! You are a fool for believing it so! Summon Magic: He summons two giant spirit dragons to kill anything in their path. No explanation for this magic is offered, except that only a Shimada can control these dragons. Tattooed Crook: Has a dragon tattoo on his left arm and was formerly the heir of a powerful Yakuza clan. The Straight and Arrow Path: In a world with guns and rockets and robot suits and teleporters, Hanzo uses a humble bow. A technologically enhanced bow, but a bow nonetheless. Thicker Than Water: Hanzo is a firm believer of traditional family loyalty and that honor lies in family loyalty, which was why he's The Dutiful Son who didn't seem to mind much about how the criminal activities of the clan are not good deeds, they're still his family, and while he left the clan in shame, he still held some regrets that he somehow wanted to return to his family. This is also why he's rather cross at Genji for his actions to shut down the Shimada clan, he cannot see honor in betraying one's own family even if it was for the greater good or common morality. Trademark Favorite Food: Ramen, just like his brother. Thankfully for Hanzo, he's still able to enjoy it as he's still full human. Trick Arrow: His Scatter Shot explodes when it hits a wall, releasing ricocheting arrows that bounce off walls and hit foes. He also has Sonic Arrow, which alerts him to nearby enemies. Additionally, in Dragons his normal arrows are apparently electric and homing. Walking Shirtless Scene: He wears a kimono, but the left side is not on his body, showing off his left pec, left side of his torso, and an impressive arm-length dragon tattoo. Wall Crawl: Thanks to his Wall Climb ability. White Sheep: Became this to his clan after he defected out of guilt for killing his little brother on the clan elders' orders. Yakuza: Former heir to the Shimada Clan's criminal empire and still has the tattoo to prove it.

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