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drunkengodsofslaughter · 1 year

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I had a conversation with a Nancy stan and their take on Stancy, which they first said I have no idea what that relationship truly was and so on. They believe Nancy did nothing wrong, and Stancy ended because Steve was slutshaming her in s1, left her at the party in a drunken state, and suppressed Nancy's trauma. Like there is so much to unpack here. First of all, if him slutshaming her in s1 was a huge deal-breaker for her, why was she in a relationship with him, after the fact. She told Jonathan she waited a month, meaning Stancy wasn't together for that time, and yet she still chose Steve after Jonathan didn't make a move. To hold that against Steve as a failure for Stancy is really unfair because, in canon, Nancy doesn't seem to hold that against him. And it's conveniently ignoring the fact that he was the second choice from the beginning.

Second, yes, Steve left her alone, but he made sure Jonathan took her home. Idc Steve cares about Nancy. He just couldn't be around her after she dropped those bombs, but he is still the type of guy who would make sure she's safe. Him storming out there was him cooling down and not wanting to be seen as weak (by Billy) bc he was about to cry. I'm sure he found Jonathan shortly after that and asked him. Jonathan had no reason to lie to Nancy about it because he doesn't like Steve, plus Steve knew about it when confronting her in the alley.

Stancy ended because Nancy decided she couldn't pretend anymore, trauma wise, and finally coming clean she doesn't love Steve, and she was just playing along because she felt like she had to. I believe she cared about him at one point. At least I think she wanted to love him, but she was never fully in it.

I don't think the relationship ended in that alley, Nancy still referred to him as her boyfriend when talking to Murray. Jonathan also acknowledged Steve being in the way, and yet they slept together. But if you believe they broke up, she still emotionally cheated, and Nancy had no problems sleeping with Jonathan two days after ending a one year relationship.

To say Nancy was innocent is so wrong because we see Steve being all in. If he were to be so horrible to her, why was he looking love sick and going to the dinners with her. He was trying, but him coping with the trauma from a year prior in a "it didn't happen way" made it difficult because Nancy needed something else. He didn't purposefully make her miserable, I also doubt they never talked about it. I mean them going to Barbs parents meant them talking about it. I guess after those talks, he thought the best thing for both was to try to be normal because it's easier to pretend. He thought this would also help Nancy because it helped him. Again, the only time we saw Steve being dismissive was when Nancy started talking about revenge on the lab. And maybe him not wanting to go to the Hollands for dinner, but tbh he was in the right for that. First, he knew it upset Nancy, and second, going there for a year every week while knowing their daughter died in his pool probably took a toll on him as well. Having to look at Barb's parents' faces, Steve isn't heartless or didn't care.

It always gets me when people then also in R//nance context say Nancy would care about him or wouldn't mind being around Steve, when in reality she didn't give a fuck about Steve's feelings. She made him believe to this day he was the sole reason why their relationship ended. We see how much this destroyed Steve to a point he thinks he needs to change himself because he's so hung up and also comparing everyone to Nancy. If he knew about the emotional cheating and Jancy sleeping together at Murray's I doubt he would be so hung up. I feel like a lot of Nancy stans think Steve deserved it because of s1. Nobody deserves to be lied to in their relationship. Steve wasn't perfect, he couldn't be there for her in a way she needed it bc both parties couldn't communicate properly with each other, but he was never deceitful when it came to his feelings for her. He made sure she knew he loved her. She was the one pretending. Nancy hurt Steve and at least emotionally cheated if you think Stancy ended in that alley.

Nancy stans ignore her faults in Stancy because that would mean sympathizing with Steve. I know they hate him because of the fandom pointing out her faults because the show sweeps them under the rug. So they grew resentful towards Steve bc yeah, some fans take it too far, but that resulted in them overlooking Nancy's negative character traits all together.

i’m so sorry that you had to deal with that person.i always get annoyed when everyone uses those excuses to paint steve as bad because yes the spray painting thing was wild ngl and he did do something wrong there. but also nancy did take him back after that! but those two things of steve leaving nancy which 1. we legit don’t even see those scenes of what goes on during those scenes. like there are multiple scenarios of how this could have gone so it’s wild how people keep stating it like it’s true. we just see steve go out for one second and then we see jonathan be with nancy and take her home. WE DO NOT SEE THE SCENES INBETWEEN!! what people say about steve leaving nancy is not completely true as we do not see it!!! anyway i got carried away first: with the slut shaming because you’re so right! like nancy has already forgiven steve so to hold that against them is kind of annoying and just so old.

everything you said about that second paragraph!!! also i touched on it in the first paragraph i wrote so i won’t touch in it again lol. yes!! stancy ended because nancy didn’t want to pretend anymore! yeah like the whole reason stancy didn’t work out is because nancy doesn’t want to pretend anymore! doesn’t want to pretend that she loves steve, doesn’t want to pretend that she’s not been affected by barb’s death. same i also don’t think their breakup happened in the alley cuz like you said murray and nancy and jonathan confirm that steve is nancy’s bf. legit she still emotionally cheated!! she fr didn’t care about the time either cuz it was in the span of 1-2 days which like that’s a big ouch and yikes.

LITERALLY LIKE NANCY IS NOT AT ALL INNOCENT! like you said steve was all in and very much did go all the way to try and make nancy happy. it was nancy who wasn’t able to communicate with steve. it’s just sometimes i see people just fully blaming steve in the hollands dinner which like what the fuck?!? what else was he supposed to do?!? just completely say fuck all to the hollands and leave the house?!? like some of these people will genuinely blame steve for everything despite the circumstances and because they see nancy as a goddess.

literally this last paragraph is everything!! it’s always bizarre how they just think that nancy wouldn’t mind being around steve because she would be around steve all the time because robin loves being around steve all the time. it’s just so funny to me like no she really would mind having to hang around him. oh god it fucks me up how she doesn’t say a thing about steve saying he’s a bad bf in season 2 so he thinks he’s the sole reason for the relationship going bad. and i just want to fucking scream! ngl the entire thing i’d thinking steve deserves it pisses me off because the sole reason people believe that is because of the narrative twist in season 1. IT PISSES ME OFF! god those last two sentences in that paragraph is sooo true.

yep yep yep that last paragraph. like some of them just don’t even care enough to try to sympathize with steve despite nancy’s faults in the relationship. also i’m convinced that people just have a crush on natalia so they also just can’t see nancy’s faults because they’re attracted to her. but yeah as you said with those last sentences!! you are so correct! some just don’t want to see nancy’s faults at all

#answered asks

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dovechim · 6 years

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After a hectic week I can finally sit down and dedicate the next hour or so to continue my story because I really want to get to the part which I'd like to hear your opinion - and everyone else's - about!! ☆ Long Story Anon

So we kept messaging for the following days, both busy with our respective classes; but before I knew it and I can't say I was surprised, he invited me to do something again less than a week later. We're from a considerably small city, there isn't much to do around here, so we had a hard time coming up with an idea. Well, he suggested to pick me up and we'd go back to his house to eat something, to which I agreed. I was with my friend and we were both jumping around from excitement ☆ 1

Needless to say my friends all loved him; they were happy that after such a long time and with such bad luck in love I finally found what seemed to be the last guy on earth who was worth more than two seconds of my life. I knew going to his house implied something more serious than making out could happen, but honestly I didn't mind if it did. In context, he lived with his little brother and parents; where we're from it's common at our age to still live at home since we've not graduated yet ☆2

But he'd mentioned during the first date that his parents were away for an anniversary holiday and his little brother was staying with the oldest one who lived in his own apartment with his fiance; meaning we had the house for ourselves. As planned he picked me up and took me there, had some food delivered and we watched terrible horror films on netflix. He'd cheesily try to put his arm around me on the couch and I'd move closer, ending up snuggled together with my heart about to burst ☆ 3

At one point both brothers and the fiance show up with some food, for some reason and that's when I knew half his family on the second date lol. But they moved upstairs quite quickly after eating and left us alone to watch the movies. Eventually he'd kiss my cheek, not-so-subtly letting me know he wanted to KISS-kiss me, but me being the nervous little shit I am didn't really know what to do. It'd been two whole years since I even attempted to make out with someone!! ☆ 4

So he had to move even closer and he said, which I'll never forget: "you're so shy", which I wasn't surprised about, it's not common for a 22 year old to be that reserved, I guess, but with a little bit of patience that single moment turned into the best first kiss I've ever had. I was so scared he'd be a terrible kisser, like I'd experienced before bc that's just a deal breaker for me and everything else about him was so perfect; but boy...was I wrong. We ended up making out for so long that ☆5

Our lips hurt, and he didn't even try to go too far, already noticing that I wasn't the kind of girl to tear off our clothes and start fucking (not that I didn't wish I were lol), so he just held me tight and took me home eventually. God, the memory of his kisses will never leave my mind. To this day I still get butterflies because it was the kind of kiss that makes you feel like your bodies fit together and makes your toes curl :') ☆ 6

im so soft for you and him already :”)))) it’s so sweet that he wasn't afraid of scaring you off and still went for it!! a lot of guys i know are hesitant about dating an inexperienced girl bc they’re scared they will scare her off, and once my friend asked me how he should chase after a girl who has never dated. i literally got so pissed lmao i just said “just fucking treat her like a fucking normal person!!! what are you intending to do that might scare her off???”

We had a third date after that, about a week later. We went out to eat and it was the day he started posting instagram stories with me and tbh I was surprised. In our generation it takes more than just a couple of dates for a guy to 'announce' he's not 'single' anymore. You know, like if he had intention of seeing other girls at the same time he wouldn't be parading me around for everyone to see, which only fed my hopes of him being 'the one' even more ☆ 7

omg yes :/ the dating culture is so complicated lmao like ppl can be going out with different people at the same time and there’s a certain time after which you’re considered exclusive... it’s so tiring tbh

Another week passed and out of the blue he was asking me to meet his parents. He was very lowkey about it; he said he missed me, mentioning they'd returned from NY and asking if we could meet again that night, but "my parents would be there too, is that a problem?" lol. So I said no, obviously, even though I was shitting my pants, I'd never met a boy's parents in that context before but he seemed excited. He picked me up and we drove back to his place where they were waiting for me ☆ 8

I decided I didn't want to read too much into it back then, but still couldn't help but notice that the older borther+fiance had dropped plans to go to dinner with us so 'the whole family would be there to meet me'. Did that mean him bringing a girl home wasn't that common? Was I actually that special? As if I didn't notice myself falling fast and hard for me enough, his whole family welcomed me with huge open arms. His little brother, extroverted as they come at the age of 10 did everything ☆9

To include me in the conversations; the older brother would tell embarrassing stories. The parents, both doctors, both dating since college and pretty much the whole family (fiancee included) were some of the most welcoming people I'd ever met. They treated me like a family member from the very beginning and noticing how nervous I was they would try to make the dinner as easy going as they could. The guy in question, let's call him Jed? Would hold my hand under the table to calm me down ☆ 10

Or rub soothing circles over my the fabric of my jeans to distract me when a family member would embarrass him. I fell in love with his family as fast as I fell in love with him and I just couldn't believe I'd found someone so perfect. We'd make out until our lips were sore and he'd drop me off at home always leaving me with a feeling of sadness that I had to say goodbye. He made me so happy that I started to go out more, meeting my friends I was just in such a good mood because of him ☆ 11

no you must have been so nervous!!!!! i mean i get that he was low key but still... parents are a big deal. i hope his intentions were rly pure and that he was that into you!! but im glad they were nice :”)

I'd even dare to say he made me a better person in ways only I can understand. He'd text me what he was doing or who he was with every day, all the time, even if I didn't ask -which I never did. Sure, he wasn't perfect; sometimes he'd forget we had plans. I have a feeling he lied to me a couple of times but about nothing really major; sometimes he'd be in a bad mood and be sarcastic and annoying af but honestly nothing too bad. All in all I had absolutely nothing to complain about him☆ 12

It wasn't until around a month and a half into the 'relationship' that we went out for drinks and then back to his place that he tried to have sex with me (he'd waited to bring it up more than any other guy I'd ever met lol). I didn't directly tell him I was a virgin, he kinda guessed, and he was more than okay with it, even saying 'I'll wait as long as you want to'; and damn I didn't really want to wait that long, it was just that the time was never right! ☆ 13

At this point we'd both had dinner with his parents several times already. They told me in that household they'd set the habit of having dinner together every night, and were more than happy to let me into their little tradition. At more casual nights we'd sit down and watch some film on netflix, the parents and little brother always moving upstairs at the end and leaving us both alone to make out some more lol. I was even invited to his dad's birthday dinner at a fancy ass restaurant ☆ 14

this is so cute 😭 im just very ugh whenever a guy kinda hints at sex bc dude u gotta make me WANT it not just ask for it :/ but it sounds like he was super respectful!! and tbh im just very bad with other ppl’s parents, but his sounds rly perfect 😭 do such ppl even exist??? i cant even remember the last time i ate w my family :/

So by the third month I already felt part of that family tbh. I'd cooked alongside the mother like lifelong friends, and sat down for coffee after dinner to talk about how fast technology is moving with his dad. His little brother would tell jokes or ask me to teach him some guitar and I think they began to love me as much and as fast as I loved them, honestly. I was even invited to the dog's birthday part lmfao I was just unable to attend but was kindly provided with video memories ☆ 15

Everything was going so perfect, I think we could've lasted so much longer but maybe just the timing wasn't right. I still remember him dearly though, but back then I had my heart broken so bad that I simply wish I'd never met him. What hurt the most was growing so attached to his family and then out of the blue, and without a single chance to say goodbye I never saw any of them again. I should've known life isn't a movie or a book and nothing that starts so well can end just as happily ☆ 16

WHY ARE YOU USING PAST TENSE?????????? NO!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO SHAKEN RIGHT NOW bc this feels like that part in a book where the author’s just leading u towards that horribly devastating ending and that’s exactly what ur doing 😭

The last night I went to his house - btw we never visited MY house because MY family as much as I love them to death aren't as welcoming as his was with me, so until I knew FOR SURE this guy and I were serious, I decided to suggest activities that required not being at my place lol - the whole evening started weirdly. He'd been taking longer than usual to text me, and it was getting too late so I though we just weren't doing anything but he insisted he wanted to see me ☆ 17

And fuck, I wanted to see him to, once or twice a week just wasn't enough anymore and I missed his touch so badly. So I agreed for him to pick me up, even though he kind of strung me along for a few hours. By the time he picked me up I hadn't eaten, not knowing wth we were going to do but he said he'd had dinner before picking me up. Why would he though? He knew we had plans, which usually involved dinner, why not wait for me for eating? Either way, I'd missed him, I wasn't about to fight ☆ 18

We reached his place and his mom was already going upstairs for sleeping along with the little brother; the father was performing a surgery so we were alone at the living room together. He was a little tense and I didn't understand why, he said he was tired because he'd had class up until late and I asked if he just wanted me to leave but he asked me not to; he wanted to see me, he wanted me to stay. We cuddled on the couch and I had to wake him back up several times, growing annoyed ☆ 19

And when the dad got home he quickly got up and pretended to do something in the kitchen. The man had to eat and we had to wait for him to leave to sit back together, the whole situation was awkward af. I was wondering if I should just call a cab and leave, but he insisted not to. At around 2am (it was a friday) while making out he asked if I wanted to go up to his room, to which I said yes. He knew what that meant, so he was excited about it, going upstairs to check if his room was clear ☆ 20

Damn, I hit ask limit again :'( I'll have to leave it here right now but I swear I'll get to the point eventually lol I'm sorry!! also thank you for giving me your patience and space to tell this story, I feel like this way I can tell it without filters about what really happened or how I felt and actually receive honest unbiased opinions

omg i literally cannot believe u ended right there??????? i hate tumblr’s ask limit. im on the edge of my seat right now!!! thank you for taking the time to send me these, im so invested in ur story now its insane!!

come back whenever you have time bb

#answered #long story anon #Anonymous

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astra-inclined · 7 years

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Just realized I didn’t put a read more...sorry x.x

So like, when my boyfriend lied to me and hung out with his ex (who I’d already asked him to to hang out with for many reasons that I feel...make sense???) I pretty much told him me or her. I have friends who feel like ultimatums are an automatic breakup because they could never be with someone who would do that, but I disagree. There’s nothing WRONG with telling someone this or we’re over, that’s just another way of putting your deal breaker out there. Because ofc he also had as much a right as me to be like oh I won’t date someone who gives me ultimatums, that’s fine.

anyway, he said fine and then basically asked to write her an email explaining and I said....yes? And in hindsight....idk i just feel so shitty about that. Like what the fuck. Why would I say yes to that? you lie to me, disrespect me and what I thought our relationship boundaries are then you want to EXPLAIN to this bitch why you’re doing it??? Let me tell you how much of a real apology I got lol. It definitely wasn’t nearly as long and thorough as this email was. (she constantly disrespected me, sent him emails about how lonely she is and how she knows him better than I do, and that he should break up with me and be her friend.....l o l she even text him on his last birthday....they’d broken up 3 years at that point and not talking for 2......and he still doesn’t believe me when I’m like she definitely??? never got over you??? cause what other reason would you even do that “Happy Birthday, Asshole” to someone you dumped....3 years...previously.......)

Anyway. Couple months later I found out more disrespect was had with 2 other girls to which he AGAIN asked for another “goodbye” email essentially and I said yes again(and said k that’s it...and he couldn’t even respect that and ended up responding to her response like whaaaat hahahahaha) (also chelsea is you’re ever on my tumblr, i want you to know that I actively hate you and view you as the shittiest friend I’ve ever had in my life? thanks for filling that role!) and just wtf was I thinking. Where was my “hey I’m gonna disrespect you and ruin your trust and subconscious and everything you are for the next couple years sorry” email? Like damn.

I’ve been feeling really shitty about that and I don’t want to talk to my friends about it because I’m always like ~dump your shitty boyfriend~ ~love yourself~ but I sure as fuck didn’t so why would I even begin to preach that to other people lmao. and yanno we’re still together and I don’t want them to hate him?! (tho my friends are good at like....ignoring relationship issues between us, thankfully) And it’s even harder because this was literally 2 years ago and we’re both very different people and I mean, I’m no saint and definitely haven’t been in this relationship and I love him a lot now and things are great but I have all these excess feelings of rage that is so hard to let go of (I also have a problem with feeling things.....like wayy after the fact??? after something bad happens I usually just don’t feel anything at all for a long time. but as time progresses, how fucked up an event was finally hits me. example, childhood molestation/rape feels that literally keep getting worse the older I get.)

idk. the gall though. to do that to someone and then ask for forgiveness and then ask to say goodbye to that person..........??? why was I faithful that first year of being together? i shoulda been sharing nudes with my hot irish friend apparently??? (who i don’t even talk to anymore/deleted off snapchat bc he was lowkey jealous. he didn’t even ask me to, i just did it...bc through his bullshit I realized that’s what’s right morally to me???? also he kept throwing it in my face with fights “you have that one guy that sends you shirtless things every once in a while!!” yeh across the seas...but i guess that’s the same as trying to fuck a coworker/ex/friend??? lmao)

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i hate myselfffffffffffffffffffffffffff

dear ocean god, pls help me get into nursing school so I can be run ragged the next 2 years. pls and thank you, I’ll visit you in the ocean when california gets it’s weather out of its ass.

#personal #close friends don't need to read lmao just let me shout my misery into the void #helps me feel better to write it down here #for #the internet world to see #because I can't share it irl #tw rape #tw child molestation #to delete

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