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lykkefm · 4 years

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hello my lovely humans ! it’s lina , back again w another muse bc lbr i have no self control n u deserve better than the piece of trash that is atlas ! so , i hereby introduce u to my entirely new bby aka lykke ! it’s the first time i’ve played a muse like this so pls bear w me angels while i figure her out adkjfgkn but if u would like to plot , pls hit that ❤️ or if u prefer msg me on my discord @𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐟𝐚𝐧’𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝖕𝖔𝖗𝖘𝖈𝖍𝖊#0369 !

chicago’s very own 𝐥𝐲𝐤𝐤𝐞 𝐳𝐚̈𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 has been spotted on madison avenue driving a 𝐛𝐦𝐰 𝟐 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐞́ , welcome ! your resemblance to 𝒋𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒑𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝒔𝒌𝒓𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒓 is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 - 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐡 birthday bash . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 , but being 𝐮𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐱 might help you . i think being a 𝒍𝒆𝒐 explains that . 3 things that would paint a better picture of you would be 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 , 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐫 , 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 . ( 𝒎𝒚 𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒖𝒍𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒊𝒏 𝒎𝒚 𝒕𝒆𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒔 𝒊𝒏𝒋𝒖𝒓𝒚 ) & ( 𝚌𝚒𝚜𝚏𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚕𝚎 + 𝚜𝚑𝚎/𝚑𝚎𝚛 )

: / / 𝒃𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒔 .

𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄 : lykke ( happiness , good fortune ) freja ( lady , noblewoman ) zähringer ( i couldn’t find a meaning but it’s probs smth Schmancy ) .

𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 : alright listen , , her parents chose her name so it wouldn’t b shortened so ! have fun w this !

𝐀𝐆𝐄 : twenty - four .

𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐃𝐀𝐘 : august 3rd .

𝐙𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐂 : leo .

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 : female .

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐒 : she & her .

𝐒𝐄𝐗𝐔𝐀𝐋 & 𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐂 𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 : pansexual & panromantic .

𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 : american .

𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐍𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐓𝐘 : caucasian ( danish & american )

𝐋𝐀𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐒 : the astrophile , the paracosmist , the aquaphile .

𝐎𝐂𝐂𝐔𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 : former olympic swimmer , currently a lead actress in netflix’s fiercer things .

𝐍𝐄𝐓𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐇 : 10 million dollars .

𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐒 : adaptive , affability , benevolent , creative , compassionate , dependable , enthusiastic , honest , merciful , open - minded , sincere .

𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒 : absentminded , ascetic , breezy , competitive , dreamy , earthy , emotional , predictable , questioning , whimsical .

: / / 𝒂𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔 .

deep conversations , loose hair , the constellations of a cloudless night , messy ponytails , bare feet in the mornings , half finished mugs of coffee , music through iphone speakers , the smell of rain in the air , tangled hair ties , half used tubs of hand cream , rolled up sleeves of an oversized sweater , dogeared pages , paint stained jeans , an unchanged bedside clock , warm tea , good books , soft pillows , blinking neon lights .

: / / 𝒃𝒊𝒐𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒑𝒉𝒚 .

as the daughter of a well - known danish director & a world - renowned american makeup mogul , lykke was born into a world of luxury & a world full of endless possibilities . she had , essentially , the whole world resting on the palm of her hand . raised in chicago , but bouncing between her family’s permanent home there to the residence they owned in los angeles was difficult , but as the youngest of four & a child who’s mind was constantly buzzing with ideas , lykke didn’t mind .

her upbringing was relatively relaxed . her parents , who had busy lives as it was always tried to make time for their children , & as their oldest began to disperse & follow their own path , lykke was left alone most of the time . she didn’t mind , however , because with alone time came more time to let her imagination run wild . she was always a creative child , always thinking that believing isn’t seeing & so the thought of adventure & it’s endless possibilities was enthralling to her .

she was young & free ; she had a magnetic aura that captivated just about everyone in the room , but that’s not what made her special . lykke was , as her teachers would say , an enigma . she was smart all the while being unburdened by knowledge . she was skeptical of life’s meaning but at the same time , she believed in the impossible . she pushed the boundaries & in the end , it not only made her a valuable friend but an extraordinary student . she was inquisitive , always keen to learn new things , & always dove head first into new opportunities .

it was because of her determination & participation in school’s extracurricular activities that she was persuaded to join her high school’s swim team . swimming was , of course , the activity she enjoyed the most at school , but she never thought she would create a career out of it . but still , she agreed & was fast approaching becoming the best in her class . she was a fast learner , taking every opportunity to practice & before she knew it , she was at the top of her class . she was extremely valued not only by her team members but by her coach , & at one particular swimming competition , a representative for the olympic swim team came scouting for recruits & took lykke under his wing almost immediately .

she was a promising little thing , however a little too inexperienced in big competitions , but she would go far . so , to prepare for when she’d join the olympic team . she was thrown into national competitions , opting for homeschooling while she travelled for all the competitions she had to attend . needless to say , she loved it . being in the water gave her a sort of freedom she’d never felt before , & the thrill of the competition strove her to do better . she rose to success so quickly that , on the eve of her eighteenth birthday , it was announced she would be join the olympic team in the 2016 olympic games .

the build up to the olympics was immense . lykke was thrown into training more arduous than what she’d ever experienced , but she loved every part of it . she loved the adrenaline running through her veins & she loved more than anything , being a part of a team . in the games she would compete in the 800 metre freestyle race & the 4 x 200 metre freestyle relay , & the faster the games approached , the more nervous she felt . she had already successfully won nearly every competition she faced leading up to the olympics , but this was the real test in her eyes .

when it came to the games , despite her nervous state , lykke won her solo race . the thrill of this made her want to win more , but she was nervous . after watching the other team practice & perform their own races , & that her own team would need to be faster & better in order to beat them . so , in her nervous panic , when it was her turn to take over the relay , she jumped too early , even though she knew she wouldn’t clear her teammate in time , & they both ended up in hospital ; her teammate with a injury to the head & lykke with a broken collarbone .

the guilt almost destroyed her , & she thought her life to be over until her father paid off all involved parties to keep the truth quiet & instead spread the word that what happened was an accident . lykke still felt guilty , though , & couldn’t face the humiliation of being a part of the team again , so she quite acting & instead opted for a career less damaging & more achievable ; acting . her father was a director , & she was pretty involved in the drama department in school , so it made the most sense .

she landed small roles at first , but more recently lykke landed a role in netflix’s brand new hit series called ‘ fiercer things ’ . the show surrounds vampires , witches , & just about all things that go bump in the night , & lykke portrays the female lead called vita , a vampire a little like rebekah mikaelson !

: / / 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 .

lykke is a very bubbly , very curious person . she’s the sort of girl who will try anything once , which to her could be absolutely anything . she’s not afraid of pushing the boundaries & is the sort of person to test the waters before making a decision on something . want that new dress but not sure how it’ll look on ? lykke is your girl . the new hot & spicy bargain bucket at the most popular takeaway ? lykke will take the bullet for you & try it first . she’s very adventurous & is the sort of person who will jump feet first into any opportunity she comes across .

but lykke has a sort of childish naivety . she tries to be friends with everyone & is very good at blending in social situations , but she always believes the best in people & very often ends up being disappointed when it turns out the person wasn’t what she expected them to be . although she’s loving & very affectionate , she has never been in love . she’s the sort of person who dates , is in love with the idea of love but she has a very set view on what love should be like , so she crushes a lot on people only to dip when she doesn’t feel the way she wants to feel .

however she is very peculiar . she’s smart in a conventional way , & is always striving to learn more in order to be better . in this way she is very competitive , & has a habit of pushing the boundaries to become the best of the best , which often leaves other people being pushed out . but she’s a very loyal friend & if you know her well , you’ll be dragged into an abundance of philosophical conversations that will go on through early hours in the morning over a bottle of wine & takeaway food .

: / / 𝒇𝒖𝒏 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒔 .

ok im gna put this out there before someone * coughs * drea * coughs * miranda decides to joke abt it again , but u pronounce lykke’s name like LEA - KAY ! not lykke totally , not lykke pipe ( altho that would b a funny snapchat user ty miranda ) but LEA - KAY . ty v MUCH that is all for this section .

i’m joking akdjfn lykke has a pet pig called dakota ! bc she’s weird ! n loves pigs !

when i say she’s weird , i mean she’s RLY weird n a huge nerd

she’s incredibly involved in aliens / the supernatural ( as if playing a vampire isn’t enough smh ) n probs has a yt channel where she goes ghost hunting ! talk abt OBSESSED

speaking of obsessed . . . she loves marvel n cries over tony stark every . single . day . she’s still not over endgame n neither am I SIR !

she’s also in love w stefan salvatore bc 😊 i need to channel that energy somewhere ! idc !

she’s also in love w space n is 100% the sort of person to ask for ur star sign when u first meet so she can peep at ur horoscope n check ur compatibility

she’s not rly ? a girl-y girl ? like she loves wearing dresses n stuff but she’s more comfortable in a pair of sneakers w some jeans , like she jus likes being comfy !

idk abt making her a model yet , it depends on how i’m feeliN abt the muse so bear w me , so rn she’s a retired swimmer n an actress !

she probs paints in her spare time , but doesn’t let anyone see her paintings

um that’s abt it i think . . . we’ll see ASKJDFNKJ

: / / 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 .

𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒 ( 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 ) : honestly jus ppl lykke vibes w , ppl who can accept her vibrant n weird nature n ppl who she trusts more than ANYTHING . these can be from childhood or pretty recent , n the amount doesn’t matter bc we all love some cute bffs ! [ open . ]

𝐄𝐗𝐄𝐒 ( 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 ) : again these can come in a variety of ways n i’m not fussy abt how many exes she’s had , either ! lykke is 100% a relationship person but she’s not one who settles , so this can either bring drama / maybe they had a mutual understanding / honestly anything ! [ donna marchesi , open to more . ]

𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒 ( 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 ) : * gasps * n then they were roommates ! we all love these sort of plots n lykke is definitely the sort of person who HATES being alone ! i’m imagining cute movie nights n awkward run - ins sfgkjnsd . [ elissa altera , 1/2 open . ]

𝐅𝐖𝐁 / 𝐄𝐖𝐁 ( 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 ) : ah the classic ! i couldn’t do this w atlas so lykke sry hun ! could literally be anything , besties who hook up sometimes , a literal booty call w ‘ u up ’ texts , or maybe they Hate each other n this is how they let their frustrations out ! [ open . ]

𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐋𝐔𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 ( 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 ) : this person would be a bad influence on lykke . gets her to go out partying , do dr*gs n basically dumb shit that she’s sry abt later . corrupt her sweet lil heart ! [ open . ]

𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐋𝐔𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 ( 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 ) : someone who lykke acts as a good influence on ! she’s the typical mom friend , n needs someone who she feels protective over bc they make so many dumb decisions so she’s just there like . . . don’t do that ! [ open . ]

𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐒 ( 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 ) : could be totally unrequited or mutual ! i just need the cuteness . ok ty . [ open . ]

𝐂𝐎 - 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒 ( 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 ) : if ur chara is an actor n u want them to be in fiercer things , i’m 100% here to support u on that ! let’s make it a whole thing ! [ taylor perry open to more . ]

𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐂𝐀𝐆𝐎 ( 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 ) : lykke lived in chicago all her life n has only recently moved to nyc , so i’d love for her to have friends she knows from home ! [ open . ]

#wealthyhq:intro #op here i go again sdkfgnskjd

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surveysonfleek · 6 years

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574.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 35

3301. When someone is 'crazy' why do we call them 'nuts' or 'fruitcakes'? i actually have no idea. 3302. What's the dillio? oh no... i hope this survey isn’t gna be full of nonsense questions like this. 3303. Where did the slang term 'dillio' come from? idk, google it. 3304. How many even whole numbers are there between -5 and 5? idk. 3305. What words can you make useing only these letters: E N O? one, neo, eon... i think that’s it?

3306. What's the differance between foods that are low fat and foods that are lite? i’m assuming light foods like have more fat in it idk. 3307. White or brown rise? did you mean rice? lol. 3308. Can you be content if you are physically uncomfortable? i guess so. if you don’t plan to be physically ‘comfortable’, isn’t that being content? 3309. What is the differance between discomfort and pain? i’m assuming pain is more uncomfortable. 3310. What is the most uncomfortable thing you can think of? being around someone that smells with no escape. 3311. What do these names make you think of: britney spears? walt whitman? buddah? william shakespere? pablo picasso? adam ant? franz kafka? nietzche? madonna? orson scott card? frieda kahlo? god? salvidor dali? david bowie? jesus? lars ulrich? jim henson? cbf answering. plus many of these names are spelt wrong. 3312. What are your favorite games to play? cranium, taboo, the resistance, codenames, monopoly etc. i just like board games i guess. 3313. Are you quick to judge something as stupid just because you don't understand it? nope. 3314. Are you obnoxious to others? no, unless they’re being obnoxious to me. 3315. Do you feel superior to anyone? no. 3316. Shouldn't people take a good look at themselves before they criticize others? they should but they don’t. 3317. Which is better and why: writing or saying obnoxious things about someone who isn't around to defend themselves or saying it straight to them? saying it straight to them. i hate finding out that people have talked about me behind my back and don’t have the courage to just say it to my face. Which do YOU do more often? i’m not an obnoxious person, but i’d say saying it straight to someone’s face. 3318. Do you appologize too often? eh, not really. 3319. Does your mind play tricks on you? sometimes. 3320. Have you read (any of): the bible? only this. the koran? the torah? the kama sutra? the satanic bible? Are these mystical texts or historical ones? they can be taken as both. 3321. Do you own any possessions that you hide from parents, friends, visitors? nope. What? - 3322. Why does the cheese stand alone? idk. 3323. Do you watch any soaps? no. 3324. Have you learned something new today? yes. 3325. Do you believe in an 'oversoul' of all humanity? eh, never heard of it. 3326. Have you invented your own style, just for you? well i guess so. i just wear what i want. 3327. have you invented your own religion, just for you? nope. 3328. What files have you recently downloaded? e-books for my kindle. 3329. Some people think little girls should be seen and not heard but I think: they should be heard too. 3330. Do you dance around a lot? no. 3331. Is the unexamined life worth living or not? why not. 3332. What are you like when you're at your most beautiful? haha i have no idea. 3333. What are you like when you are at your worst? probably a blubbering mess. 3334. Why do you hide things about yourself? i don’t usually tbh. 3335. Why is anything 'too personal' to talk to others about? it just means they’re not comfortable enough to talk about it with others. 3336. Why should we be embarressed, afraid, or appologetic for ANYTHING we think, say or do? it’s just the way society works. 3337. Can true freedom exist in this world of doubt and guilt? to some individuals, yes. 3338. What do you have no control over? the dollar. 3339. Do you own a vibrating pillow? no lol wtf. How about a vibrating back massager? we have one somewhere in the house. 3340. Can you dance away your emotional pain? sure. 3341. When you dance is it a celebration of life? you can put it that way i guess. 3342. When do you feel the most immortal? que? 3343. Are you more of a painting, a poem or a song? painting. 3344. Is lonliness a crowded room full of open hearts turned to stone? possibly. 3345. Is YOUR heart ever stone? no. 3346. Are we alltogether all alone? idk. 3347. Does life end in a happily ever after way? idk. 3348. What's the warmest part of your body? my neck. 3349. Are you more verbal or visual? visual. 3350. What do you long for? happiness. 3351. True or false: When someone hates you it is because: they're jealous of you? false. the things you say are frightening to them because what you say makes them think about things they would rather avoid thinking about? w t f. they don't understand you? bye. 3352. True or false: When you hate someone it is because: you're jealous of them? false. the things they say are frightening to you because what they say makes them think about things you would rather avoid thinking about? you don't understand them? 3353. Have you ever been fascinated by someone who hated you? nope. 3354. Since the human brain has defense mechanisms against feeling bad (meaning the brain lies to itself to avoid feeling bad about something it said or did) how can we ever know if we are truly being honest? just ignore the damn mechanisms and take it for what it is. How do we know our brains are not tricking us into believeing we are good people when we aren't all good? we don’t know, so whatever. 3355. How highly do you value innovation? very much so. 3356. Is there a name where all the people you've ever met haveing that name had something in common with each other(ex. all the jens you've ever met had blue eyes)? nope. 3357. Are you focused more outward or inward? outward. 3358. What is the most affectionate nickname you ever came up with for someone? haha idk. 3359. Are the questions STILL still interesting this deep into the survey? no, sorry. i’m getting really bored of them but i’m too far in to give up. 3360. If someone else makes their desicions based on their intuition instead of on facts and proofs what do you think of that person? that’s fine. it’s their life. 3361. Do you trust your own intuition? yes. 3362. Finish the phrase... danger is the: just keep: never trust: the way I live my life: don't change: maybe someday: no. 3363. Would you rather live in Frodo's world or Harry Potter's? harry potter’s. 3364. Do you believe that the dead are with us? in some ways. If yes in what form? memory. 3365. Do you believe that those who haven't been born are with us? possibly. If yes, in what form? dreams. 3366. Are you made of timid stuff? no. 3367. Is there anyone in this world who is not CRAZY? yes. 3368. What word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? shorter. 3369. Can you mashed potatoe? lame. Can you do the twist? lame. 3370. What does your family do for thanksgiving..or if you don't celebrate it what do you picture when you think of thanksgiving? i picture family gathering together and having a huge feast and sharing what they’re thankful for. 3371. What is your earliest memory? running to my dad after coming back from vacation with my mum. 3372. Have you ever taken an IQ test? yes. What'd you get? i forgot. i’d probably do one again. What do you think of those things? no that accurate since i just do them online. 3373. How do you make 'fishcakes'? idk. Put the potatoe in the fish... cool. 3374. Which is the better band..the offspring or the damned? i don’t listen to either. 3375. Do you ever think about world destruction? not really. 3376. Do you think humans are becoming more robotic? yes. 3377. Do you think we'll ever be replaced by robots? it’s possible. some jobs are being replaced by robots. 3378. What do you feel a part of? my family. 3379. Does it freak you out to know that yogurt is ALiVe?? no. 3380. What current band d o you think is doing something particularly interesting or innovative? majid jordan. 3381. Golf course, do you remember? what. 3382. Which is more important, books and cleverness or friendship and bravery? friendship and bravery. 3383. If i promise to miss you, will you go away? no. 3384. stool, ball, powder...Can you think of a 4th word that connects these three? no. 3385. Who's afraid of the big bad wolf? no. 3386. Why are blondes considered 'dumb'? idk. 3387. What's more important..intuitiveness/creativity or factual knowledge and practicallity? i possess creativity and practicality so idk. 3388. Who are the two worst terrorists you can think of? they’re all terrible people. 3389. What is jello made of? gelatin. 3390. Pick a country: australia. What do you believe is wrong with that country? everything. we are so backwards, it kills my life. 3391. Do you have strong opinions? yes. 3392. Do you do what it takes to stand up for those opinions? yes. especially when people are arguing over something they have no knowledge about. 3393. Have you ever been to a rally, protest or demonstration? no. If yes was it effective and in what ways? 3394. When people say, 'yeah it sucks but there's nothing I can do' do you believe them? it depends what the situation is. 3395. Do you know what you can do to make this world a better place? sure. Do you care? yes. 3396. Why is peace so important anyway? it’s not like it isn’t important? Why is freedom important? everyone has the right to be free. 3397. As long as you have your house and your family and you can go to the movies and the mall who cares about peace and freedom. Right? wrong. 3398.Do you try to avoid anything involving work? no. 3399. If you are not actively wrking to stop the horrors and injustices of the world (war, hunger, poverty) than aren't you partially responsible for them? thanks for assuming i’m not doing anything.... 3400. Are you in denial? nope.

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

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fairycosmos · 6 years

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hello mutual ~ im am a baby so i will stay anon but you are the one person here that i think will help. I did the thing i thought was right, but it was stupid. i confessed to smoking and now im “banned” and grounded for a few weeks. weed just helps so much, with my anxiety and irritibality and it was a really good crutch because im at a point where i dont enjoy much (as in i cant find anything to make me happy 🙃) im just really fucking sad and obviously regretful but i feel like such an idiot

hey man, don’t say that. you’re not an idiot just for trying to cope, and you’re obviously still very young so you’re going to do things that you regret - it’s how you mature. beating yourself up about it now isn’t going to change anything, and it’s not going to make the situation any better. doing what you think is right and then having it turn out wrong is literally one of the most inevitable things ever, and it’s going to happen over n over again as you grow up. tbh i totally get where you’re coming from because i started smoking when i was 14 and it helped with my anxiety and stuff but at the same time i’d really really recommend waiting until you’re a little older before you do it regularly. weed isn’t exactly a harmful drug in most cases, but your brain is still developing and in the long run it’s going to make your anxiety worse + stop you from reaching your full potential. that’s what it did for me n a lot of people i know who started smoking heavily when they were young - it’s simply not worth it. you don’t need it right now, especially when there are so many others ways to find that sort of outlet. finding what works best for you and what calms you down might take a little while, but there are so many different things you can look into/try out. your anxiety isn’t some sort of monster, it’s something that can be controlled. i get that you feel like you only have one option, but just because you feel that way doesn’t mean it’s true. your anxiety is clouding your perception of everything, and making you believe things that aren’t based in rationality/reality. and honestly, i understand that it’s shitty to have your parents be so disappointed in you, but they’re not going to hold it against you forever. this is something that you’re going to be able to move past, something that is ultimately quite manageable. if you feel comfortable with telling your parents about your anxiety, even if you think they don’t want to hear it, then i’d really recommend doing so. at the end of the day they care about you, and you genuinely don’t have to fight this alone (tho obviously if they’re abusive or something i can’t recommend that, but if not just know that it’s okay to tell them how you’re feeling, you have a right to ask for help if you need it.) you don’t need to hide what you’re going through from them, you can talk to them - they’ve been through it themselves, and even though it might feel a little awkward it really will make your worries feel a little less intense.

and even if telling them isn’t an option, you’d be surprised to know how many people can relate to exactly what you’re going through right now, and how many resources there are out there that will help you. it sounds like bullshit, but it’s not. you are not a lost cause, and there is no reason for you to give up on yourself. you are a lot younger than you realize, and you don’t need to have it all figured out just yet. i have so much belief in you, so much certainty in your ability to do what’s best for your own mindset. when it comes down to it, if you actively seek ways to make your mental health a priority in your life, then you will notice positive results in time. whether it’s by talking to a school counselor, or making an appointment with your actual doctor - either one is a really solid place to start. they’ll be able to offer some better coping techniques and tips on how to manage it when it’s all too much. yeah, it’s a process. and yes, it can be scary and odd to think about talking to someone and drawing attention to yourself/your anxiety, but you have to to know on a really deep and fundamental level that it’s going to improve the quality of your life eventually. force yourself to care about what happens to you, look out for yourself as much as you can. remember, anxiety is an actual disorder and in a lot of cases it needs real medical attention in order to overcome, you know? if it’s seriously impacting your life and your overall happiness, then you DO have the control to reach out, even if your mind is telling you that you’re powerless and weak. you need to take your mental health as seriously as you take your physical health, because it’s really just as important. i get that all of this is a lot easier said than done, dude. and i’m not i’m not saying that you have to make any big decisions right now - fighting this is going to take time and effort and some days it may feel like you’re losing the battle, but as long as you are trying then you are doing more than enough. you are going to be alright. i’m not gna put any more pressure on you to talk to someone, but i hope you know that the option is there and that it won’t be anywhere near as bad as you’re expecting it to be. don’t write the idea off before you’ve even tried it, because it’s really one of the best alternatives to smoking/unhealthy coping mechanisms. you need to find the root causes of why you feel the way that you do before you can truly face it, you know? but whatever you decide, try to remember that you are dealing with something that is very very painful and hard, and that the fact that you are getting up each day and attempting to do the right thing is an achievement in itself. every day is a new opportunity to change something for the better, and to try again. the way that you’re feeling right now is a lot less permanent than it feels, i promise. each negative thought and emotion you have is temporary, and it has no baring on reality unless you say that it does. i’ll leave a few links that might be able to help when you feel an anxiety bout/attack coming on, check them out if you have the time. i’m always here if you need to talk lil angel, n i hope you find some peace of mind soon, and that you figure things out w your parents. hmu if you need a friend :)

https://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/management

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/finding-cloud9/201308/5-quick-tips-reduce-stress-and-stop-anxiety

https://www.realsimple.com/health/mind-mood/emotional-health/ten-ways-to-cope-with-anxiety

http://www.anxietycentre.com/anxiety-tips/stop-anxiety-attacks.shtml

http://bigthink.com/21st-century-spirituality/wired-for-anxiety

https://www.everydayhealth.com/anxiety/how-to-handle-panic-attacks.aspx

https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/mental-health-newsletter/are-you-afraid-to-ask-for-mental-health-help/

https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2012/04/06/too-anxious-to-get-help-for-my-anxiety/

#fuck i feel like this 1 makes no sense !!!!!!!#im sry i'm hope yr okay love

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