#i just wanted some creepy fae fun man. tf is this.

[eerna]

Congratulations Spiderwick on beating PJO and ATLA for the title of Worst Adaptation of 2024!!!!!

#i cant. literally nothing was preserved. except names. #but even if you ignore the changes it is still such a bad show #NOTHING IN IT MAKES SENSE!!! NOTHING!!!! IT ISN'T EVEN A KIDS SHOW IT IS A TEEN SHOW AND IT IS DUMBER AND MORE NONSENSICAL!!!! #AND it ends on a cliffhanger setting up s2. if i had half the confidence these producers do #eernatalk #i just wanted some creepy fae fun man. tf is this.

[finding-the-daylight]

It’s been a long, stressful week. So, I’m going to drunk-watch Twilight (this is part 1, I’ll do a part 2 later). So far, I have drunk watched and reviewed Eclipse, Breaking Dawn Part 1, and Breaking Dawn Part 2. I will probably drunk-watch and review New Moon some time in the near future. My sober review of Twilight is that it is the best of all the movies (But New Moon though, I know, it’s a very close second for me). I love that it was meant to be like a cool, niche indie film and Catherine Hardwicke is the best. The baseball scene. The meadow scene. The bio scene. Iconic. Anyway, my drunken thoughts are below the cut as per usual:

- So I know it’s like .0 seconds into this ish, but I just realized when Bella’s tlakign about dying in the place of someone she loves @ the beginning, we see the deer and then in BD2, when the mountain lion tries to kill the deer, Bella kills the mountain lion. Feels like symbolism idk.

- Phil really is like 25 years old lmao. Does it ever say how old he is? He looks young af. 

- Forks seems super depressing. Like the scenery is cool, but like there’s no one there? Only 3,000 people? Boring af.

- everything is so green and blue and aesthetically pleasing, thank you catherine

- i just realized the picture above the shelf with cds is also of a deer. the deer is important.

- the friendship between charlie and billy is all i want in life

- the truck literally brought a smile to my face. and the whsikey. 

- the high shcool looks more like a fancy ass mansion and idk why no one else has ever called out this fake shit

- eric is so precious an we deserved more of hom

- bella playing volleybal is me lamo i’m so uncoordinated at throwing shit liek that hahaha

- i just keep thinking about how anna kendrick forgot she was in this movie. if i played a character as written in canon by smeyer, i’d probably choose to forget it too. 

- mike is so fcking creepy lmao he could’ve been written better but smey r said no

- if people don’t look @ me and my mans on my wedding day the wya they look @ rosalie and emmett int he cafeteria scenr then imma fuking fight

- do not disrecpt carlisle like that hoe he is a flawless mna and deserve your full respecgt

- what the fuck i hate this scnee now that ik now abotu banner fck smyer’s nast y ass

- also lmao @ rob’s face he was foin to fuckng mucj

- wy the fuc did bella wear a bowling shirt over al ong gray shirt?

- my arms feel heavy af right now lmaooooo

- the lady they had play renene lowkey looks like krisen they did a good job casting them

- oooooh hell yeah eyes on fire time bitch

- emmett is my fave pullign up on top the jeep and hopping out like it’s nothing

- this scene is actually pwowrful because bella’s wathcin g the cullens but her human friends try to get her attention so it’s liek she’s being torn between the two worlds. cahterine’s mind

- i duckinf love the aesthetic and scnery of this movie

- mike really said how you likin da rain girlllllll lmao

- when edward apologizes though lowkey that shit’ cute and i would’ve fotgiven him too

- this bitch lied. tlaking about i don’t like any cold thing. homie. you a damn lie.

- “i’m just trying to figure you out” mhy ex said th  same damn thing lmaoooo bitch i ain’t about to let you figre me out unless yo uput a ring on it-

- whne i say edward stopping the van was ome iconic shit i mena inconng

- awww hell ya the hot doc is almost here

the moment i’ve ukjng been waiting on

- i love carlisle i’m so fucking thirsty for this bitch even though i just downed som mufng whiskey

- literally carlisle could get it period.

- rosalie is 1000% a daddy’s girl like anytime someone gives her shit she runs to carlisle and he’s got her back. he only supported edward and bella becaus esme did and she’s a hopeless romatic and carlisle loves that about her. but if it wans;t for esme, edward would’ve gotten his as sent lmao.

- if you see acreepy dude int eh corne of your room what ar you gonna do?

- agaain with the shot of bella being town between the humans vand vamps chathetiner’s mind

- tbh i eel like i know what should’v happened in canon better than smeyr at this poijtn and it’s not canpn that the cullens would’ve gone on a field trip. they just wouldn’t have like it’s extra risk and it’s unnecsary.

- edwar’ds fae when jessica rna upt talking about mike lmaoooooooo

- not gonan lie i love thsit shirt bella’s wearing when they’ra tlaking about la push kind of wanti kt

- the dumbas s salsd

- i want an edward fanvid to  bad guy by bullie easihr lish

- love thatb ella encouageed angela to ask etic to prom. a feminsit quenenne

- why di d theyr rcarst the original embry and quil? 

- when taylor said old scar tsotry the midwest accent popped thef ick out

- i love jow bellas all serious baout this shit and jake doesnt give af he’s like bitch it aint real lmaoooo

- i stan laurent and i’m so angry about what smeer did to him

why do people just layo out in the sun like this lmaoooo

- awww i’m so happy fro angela i love her

- bella was ahrdore fucking femimnist and it should’ee been more cental to the plot fmeinist bella never would’ve tolerated half the shit she tolerated from jale and edwar.snmeyr has no consitnency

- why tf would opu statt wlaking down a dark alley @ night

- edward saves the day from thos ecuckgjn scumbags

- i just relaized they/re usposed to be in wahsingtob but they have fucmngn oregon plates on the car lmaooooo

- but if a dude whopeped his car lioke that idc what kinda car he drove even a volvo that shti sexy aaf

- he looks so fcking angry lmaooooo @ jess and angela

- yhis scene is cute but it also looks like this is where rob regretted his decision t op lay an emo edodei boi

- the older ig et the creeperi it gets to me that edward followed her like yeah it worked and he ended up resuing her but like still creep yas fuk

- carlisle in that coat at the staitons does a lot for me

- if i was chalrie iw ould’ve given her a hwoel ass taser

- someone tell me why bella tbought the book if she was just goign to golg.e it all

- edward weares the same thign evry damn day lmaooooo

- why werent the yf facgtin eah other when bella was tlaking this shit is too mcuh 

- i wouldn’t be afriad eitgher @ carlise

- it would be fun to run tlike that thou lnao m

- the spakrling skin thuing is funny af while durnki thogjh

- eddie bou is so damn emo and overramatic liek bitch yo uuahgt feelings too chill thf out 

- efawrd remind sme s omcuhg of chuck in gossip girl has anyone else thoguth this

- bella striahgtu p toldthis dumbass she was aafrianf onky of losing him and he left her in the next one

- the meadowa as fucking iconing as everrrrrrr

- i;m not gonna make it through this hwole  movie i’m tired watch out for part 2

#Twilight #Twilight Renaissance #Twilight Review #Drunken Twilight Review #Drunken Reviews