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#i just like to think that ghiaccio likes it
yamsgarden · 5 months
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Wow OK so… I just finished reading the 🧊🍈 short novel and I'm in denial, how good it was
I laughed so much, idk if it was intentional, but just…
I love it so much
That's all the words that I can say atm… I still need to digest how good it was
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oddverse · 28 days
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i forgot how much i loved pesi until now. thank you for reminding me of my roots as a pesci enjoyer. i shld draw him
He definitely has a hold on me, I remember reading these two for the first time completely indifferent to them until AFTER I finished part 5, I just couldn’t get either out of my head, I eventually found one of those uquizs that was like “who’s your la squadra kinnie” and for funnies I did it and got Pesci! Thats the first time I ever put him on paper! 4 years later I am still his thrall
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shoechoe · 1 year
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the fact that a large portion of Vento Aureo fans mostly just like la squadra is kinda weird to me. it's like we're looking at the same picture but we enjoy completely different things about it
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arklaycomplex · 1 year
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im beginning to realise youre never coming home
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dark-side-blog3 · 10 months
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Horny meme below
+++++++
The restaurant scene may exist but it's okay because I can just forget anyways </3 Selective memory activate!
Formaggio has a choking kink, Proscittio is into bondage and tradwife/forced feminization, Ghiaccio is into puppyplay and fake-castration, and Pesci is into rigging in my heart. We don't technically know Risottos deal at least-- no canon reaction to fetishes. Yay~
Also technically no canon reaction from Ghiaccio or Illuso, its ironically just the top three fanon kinksters who canonically are repulsed.
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hakugreenfinch · 6 months
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huh... the bucci gang never meets sorbet, gelato or melone
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soupbabe · 5 months
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Can I request la squadra with a reader with a biting problem? NOT in a kinky way, like they basically chew on anything they can like a dog. That pen that someone lost? Readers chewing on it. The strings on your hoodie are busted? They were chewed on by reader. THANK YOU 🙏
La Squadra x Reader with a Biting Problem Headcanons
I'm so sorry for taking so long to get to this 😅😅 been focusing on other stuff lately and been forgetting to write
Formaggio
- Oh he also has a biting problem!!
- If you had a nickel for every time you saw Formaggio get ink all over him for biting a pen too hard, you'd get two nickels
- He doesn't mind your bad habit, he thinks it's adorable!
- It's not a big deal to him, just another cute quirk you both share
- Bite him he'd bite you back <3
Illuso
- He's going to act disgusted even though you know he has the same biting habit
- You'd loan him a pencil and he'd return it with the eraser accidentally bit off
- He's in complete denial about it though. Might try to convince you that you did it.
- He's a terrible liar and stubborn so it's useless trying to argue about it
- Tease him and he'd get so pouty about it, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes at you
Prosciutto
- Okay yeah I think he's the only one who doesn't share anything with you because he fears you chewing on his stuff
- And also unfortunately for you he will always be in someone's business
- He'd see you chew on the neckline of your shirt and he'd lightly scold you like "What are you, a goat? Stop it."
- I promise you he can be caring about it
- For example he cares a lot about the condition of your clothes. That's why you don't chew on it. See, he's helpful.
Pesci
- He's a chronic biter too, but he does it out of nerves!
- Constantly asks if you're okay when he sees you fidgeting and biting something
- Sure he knows you just do it when you're bored, but this man is always stressed and worries that you might be getting anxious over something too
- Pesci has a bad habit of biting his nails, thinking about you both reminding each other to break the habit!
- Pesci is just super supportive, having someone like him to help him to stop biting is a major relief
Melone
- Melone doesn't care for the most part, he just asks you to refrain from chewing around his juniors
- He doesn't like to think about the chaos that'd bring if Babyface decided to eat anything and everything they see because they wanted to copy your behavior
- But Melone is ever the teasing type, he sees you chewing on a pen or him, and he's always going to make it something more than it actually is
- Like he's the kind of guy to ask for one of your chewed up pencils just bite and lick at it, all while maintaining eye contact.
- All in the efforts to fluster, make you mad, etc. Everything you do is amusing to him
Ghiaccio
- Reader you are so lucky he likes you because it's one of his major pet peeves
- Ghiaccio doesn't like it, you will get certain privileges revoked because you chew on his things
- Things you're banned from: His pens, pencils, hoodies, erasers, literally anything in his room
- But also it irritates him that he's picked up your biting habit
- It's when he's in deep thought and working, he'll occasionally chew on a pen or bite through the wires on his headphones
Risotto
- I think he tries to mind his business about it, he doesn't outwardly say his thoughts on the biting problem, but it's telling that you have never even held one of his pens
- Risotto doesn't think it's gross, he just likes to have things without bite marks, y'know?
- Literally he only cares if it's his own stuff getting bit, with everything else he believes you and the others can talk it out
- If you're even closer to him, he may find it endearing.
- It's like seeing someone focussing with their tongue poking out, it's just a weirdly cute quirk of yours
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rae-pss · 4 months
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Hello, may I please ask for headcanons for la squadra reacting to their s/o turning absolutely feral when they got backed to a corner. They got kidnapped and they turned crazy, like they bite their captor’s throat and rip it out, blood and all and scratch their eyes out. Please
masterlist
˗ˏˋ꒰ 💭 ꒱ . . . okay, read this one and got quite of like "huh...?", imagine the scene was something for sure. i'll make this as them all dating reader, simply because it wasn't specified. hope you like it, dear anon (&lt;3).
˗ˏˋ꒰ 💭 ꒱ . . . lowercase intended, mentions of blood and slight gore.
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–the nerve someone had to kidnap you wasn't anything normal, especially considering who you were affiliated with.
–to say that madness spread through the base as soon as they realized your absence was an understatement.
–there were hours in which the group of seven men did everything and more to find where you were and, once they found out your exact location, plan in detail how to attack and get you out of there with the least possible damage.
–so, imagine their surprises when upon entering where you were, they found themselves face to face with a scene that not even in their worst dreams they could fathom.
more under the cut
–blood, a lot of blood on the walls and floor.
–two limp bodies on the ground, neither being yours, their throats bitten to the point where their heads almost looked decapitated. crimson puddles surrounded the corpses, an expression of horror evident on their faces.
–however, what caught the group's attention the most was, without a doubt, how your lips, your jaw, you were stained with the blood of those two… what had you just done?
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—of all, the most concerned duo is, without a doubt, prosciutto and pesci. they both can't help: one, fearing that you had hurt yourself, and two, worrying about how you had done that. even the older one screaming at you for doing that, although, he later apologized for shouting at you after such a stressful event. and, the younger one, almost started crying, yet with some words from yours he managed to relax.
—risotto was, to no one's surprise, the one that reacted the calmest; simply asking if you were okay and sending the others to help clean up any evidence that could incriminate you. yes, once in the solitude of his room, he hugged you as if it were the last time he'd do so and whispered in your ear how worried he actually was.
—the first thing illuso and formaggio did, after putting on an expression of pure surprise, was laugh and joke about the massacre you did. in spite of their concern for you, knowing that you were fine, they both decided to take it more as something funny that you'd laugh at in the future, yes, they both gave you hugs (illuso did so in secret).
—melone was in charge of checking to see if you had any injuries or physical wounds, which you didn't have, much less the marks from the ropes with which they tied your hands and possible damage to your jaw from such bites that you launched. he laughed softly, and despite that, he left a kiss on your forehead telling you not to do that again and to give them a little more time to get there.
—if you think prosciutto yelled at you, wait until you see the reaction ghiaccio had. the poor guy lost his temper faster than usual, commenting loudly on the madness of it all. more exalted one couldn't be. although, later, once he had calmed down, he also asked for your forgiveness.
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nicherayyy · 1 year
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ok. i have the most amazing idea. child reader, but they're from south park and hung around stan's group all the time before moving. (the list of crimes is astronomical, just like cartman and them). basically la squadra and south park! child! reader. bonus points if they have immortality like kenny
Anon you are genius!! And South Park is literally one of my fav shows
TW: cursing, mention of really disturbing crimes and cannibalism (not from reader's side ofc) but it's South Park so there's nothing to be shocked with
La Squadra x Child! South Park! Reader
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No one in La Squadra has any idea how they ended up in this situation.. with you.. the most feral 8 year old they ever saw.
Risotto def didn't expect this, I mean, you're just a child, what can go wrong?
Everything.
Everything goes wrong.
At first he didn't even want to tell you about the whole assassin thing. Cuz you know, you're a literal child. You actually found out by accident, finding some random documents on Risotto's desk.
And the last thing Ris wanted was to scare you. He was about to explain himself and that whatever they do, they have no intentions to hurt you while you just listened, like.. it didn't even bothered you?
The only thing you said was:
"Dude I don't really care what you do for a living"
The poor man was too stunned to speak.
Prosciutto HATES your cursing habit. Sometimes he thinks you're an old sailor that saw some things, not a child. You've got a bigger vocabulary than the whole La Squadra combined, I'm not even joking.
He tried to make you stop cursing, he really did.
Pros, in fact, didn't succeed.
"Oh fuck"
"Language"
"Shut up old fart"
"What did you just say??"
Yeah, he can't do this anymore.
Poor Pesci is terrified. How can a child be like.. this??! Children must be naive and innocent, but you?? Ohhh you're the other case.
You actually find it funny that Pesci is so scared of your stories about your old times in South Park. Pls stop traumatising him.
And you're just telling this at random times, which scares him even more.
"Oh, that's a nice chili, I remember my friend ate something like that once"
"Oh.. was it with beef too?"
"No, it was with his enemy's parents"
"WHAT"
Can I just say no one ate chili that day?
Illuso thinks it's amusing, really.
"I'll pay 200 lira if you go and say all curse words you know to Formaggio right now"
"400 lira and we have a deal"
But I won't lie, your stories are scaring him sometimes.
"You know I died once"
"Eh??"
Sometimes he thinks you saw more than him.
Formaggio really likes your stories. But one small issue, he thinks that most of your stories are a joke. Because how can an 8 year old saw so many disturbing things? Of course, it must be just your imagination.
Oh how wrong he was.
"I once was arrested for starting a Peruvian flute band with my friends"
"Haha, yeah, nice"
"And the government sent us to Peru"
"Of course, I believe you"
Actually, Melone is more interested in all your "I died once" thing. Like how?? You just rise from the dead?
"Dude, chill, my friend literally does the same"
So there's another immortal child?? What are you two, Jesus??
"I don't know it's because of some shitty cult I guess?"
"What cult??"
But anyway, he's interested in you in scientific way and doesn't care much about your little crime stories.
Ohhh, Ghiaccio and you are buffing every day. Morning, day, and night.
You just take any opportunity to piss him off. One day for example you pronounced your words wrong (he still remembers that).
Or you can start an argument with him about anything. No matter how small it is. The whole team now tries to distract you so they won't hear Ghiaccio's screams.
"Would you ever stop being so annoying?"
"I don't know, would you ever stop being such a bitch?"
And there it goes.
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lemonflavoreddishsoap · 2 months
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Can i request like la squadra and their s/o but they are the complete opposite of them?
Like Risotto is stoic and his s/o is emotional or Ghiaccio who is short tempered and his s/o is calm and very nice
ooh this is actually a very cool prompt to write - personality descriptions in prompts make writing feel way less daunting but I understand if readers may not like a less applicable reader. Oh well, gonna write anyways.
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Formaggio
You're finicky, on-edge, and I suppose a bit of a perfectionist(?)...maybe "control freak" is a better way to word it? Either way, you need things to go right, perfectly as you plan.
Not to say Formaggio is careless, but he does things on-the-go (you telling me he planned to jump into the sewers?) and doesn't mind if things get messy.
You two are each other's reasonable thoughts. If you think one of his ideas is too risky and need him to weigh the consequences he'll listen to you completely, and in return he opens you up to just...letting some things happen.
He eases your anxieties when they're excessive, but is beyond attracted to your work ethic and smarts. He'll hold your hands and listen to your every idea if you'll listen to his.
Illuso
Soft-spoken and definitely not a confident one, it's difficult for most people to look at you two and understand how you could've ever gotten together in the first place. Maybe you even have these doubts yourself.
But he never lets you feel those doubts for long. At first he honestly probably wasn't the nicest! But when you managed to capture his heart and hints of a connection began to show, he allowed himself to slow down a bit and really understand you. Care about you.
And when you feel anxious about the relationship, he always reminds you how much he loves you (take it sexually if you want, but I don't mean it like that). Just...only in the mirror world. Trust me, he's not embarrassed about loving you, it's just more comfortable for both of you. His image and your nerves.
In the privacy of his own safe world, he doesn't need to worry about how vulnerable he is, and he can praise and encourage you as much as you need. A moment for him to feel softer and you to feel stronger.
Prosciutto
You must be Pesci's twin or something - difference is he isn't as harsh with you. Sensitive and a follower, not a leader, maybe you feel security in Prosciutto's straightforward, no-nonsense demeanor.
Prosciutto is good at seeing the strengths in someone and raising their confidence as we see in canon, and he surely does it with you. He can see how gentle and well-meaning you are in everything you do and he reminds you of your greatness whenever you fear being "too soft"
In turn you offer the quiet he needs sometimes. He is relatively fine with spending a life alone, but a balance of peace and your company is better than he could've imagined. And don't worry about not being good at comforting others with words, he was never one to enjoy that kind of comfort anyways.
I don't know how else to end this section so....imagine him holding your hand :) DO IT NOW
Pesci
If someone were to describe you, they sure would call you brave, headstrong, and....maybe not the brightest? You aren't stupid! You just...aren't the smartest, and it's very clear. However, your open nature makes it easy for Pesci to talk to you.
You see the sides of Pesci that a lot of people take way too long to notice, like how observant and clever he can be. You don't see him as too soft, you know that he takes his job as seriously as he can.
While his meeker nature doesn't do much to dilute your chaos, he never feels bad about it! You're the light of his life, and honestly he really looks up to you!
If you want to stand up for him when his teammates pick on him, go ahead! I mean, the only thing you'll achieve is becoming their second target, but uh....maybe it's a bonding opportunity?? Even if nothing comes from it, he will love you forever.
Melone
What a fucking prude you are. A prude based on NOTHING. My goodness. Were you a sheltered child perhaps? Jokes aside it's a miracle you two can stand each other. Melone isn't picky with partners but someone like you? You're so incompatible at first that the gang assumed he had other plans for chasing you.
Emphasis on at first. Maybe you were a challenge to him, a "passion project" to see how much he could open you up one way or another. I can't say which ways it worked or not, that's for your own interpretation, but in time you became the most annoying couple the team had ever seen.
If you weren't teasing each other, you were bickering in a tease-y way. And if you weren't bickering, Melone was teaching you some sciencey shit in a voice so syrupy sweet that Ghiaccio's practically retching.
Maybe you try to flip the script, try to pick his brain and open him up like he tries to do to you; oh you're lucky he loves you so much, you're the one person he will do anything for.
Ghiaccio
Growing up the way he did, he learned that everything about him is wrong, and everyone is a threat at worst, liability at best. Even you, with your patient smile and kind words and....how you actually...listened to him rant.
He's scared of you, then pissed at you, then so confused by you he doesn't know what to do. If you didn't make the first move then a relationship just isn't happening. While he's the more assertive of you two, you'll have to do the heavy lifting just that once.
Falling for a person so different is easier, but maintaining the relationship is harder on his end, I'm not even going to lie. Sometimes he's frustrated by your unconditional love, sometimes there's a savior-like feeling he has about you, sometimes he fears these ever-changing feelings, and tried to distance himself from you. But you...always help him through it.
And don't think it's only you changing him, he also encourages you to stand up for yourself, to speak your mind, to put your own mask on first sometimes. (insert italian screaming)
Risotto
He's not emotionless, at least...he doesn't like to think so. But in this line of work he needs to keep a tight lip and blank stare. Something he's perfected. So when he watches you openly sob at a movie, curled against his body as you sniffle and choke, he doesn't get moved to the same extent.
Do you get to see Risotto's true emotions? Yes...in time. You've both got targets tattooed to your back, so if he ever thinks it's safe enough to get close to you to the point of being openly emotional, it's because you've spent several YEARS together.
But he understands you, he feels the same as you as you shout or grin or cry. Not only does he understand your emotions, but you may be secretly amplifying his own. There's no tears, but a tearing, clawing feeling in his heart. No smile, but a fuzz in his face that he can't clear out.
You are the ocean and he is a rock, standing strong through every storm and watching both the rage and the calm with equal admiration.
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gayboyasher · 4 months
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Can you please do la squadra reacting to the reader calling them “cute”? (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)
I just really need some fluff rn
FLUFF is the WAY!! I had to re-do this because my dumbass closed out the app and forgot to save, and I was just about to Melone 😭😔 anyway, I gave them things that they probably do that are cute. I’m sorry if you don’t agree with them
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Rissotto
Rissotto does this thing where when he’s concentrated, he furrows his brows and looks frustrated, but it’s so cute at the same time. He was doing this whole working, and you just had to tell him how cute he was!
At first, he seemed confused, cute?? Really?
He laughs softly, trying to think of something to say to that.
“Sole mio, I’m working.”
He doesn’t mean it in a mean way, but now he’s distracted from you pointing it out.
His focus turns to stopping his “quirk”, and then that gets him distracted.
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Prosciutto
Prosciutto taps his fingers. He taps them on any surface, or he’ll just tap his fingers against his thumb. He’ll especially do this while he’s taking a phone call. Once he gets off the phone you tell him about it.
He looks at you like your crazy. He thinks it’s crazy.
Prosciutto is very much a macho man. He believes that the word cute is something not to describe masculine things, especially him.
He sighs and shakes his head in disappointment, finger wag and all. He doesn’t even say anything.
He’s another one who tries to stop it, and boy was he not able to do it.
Someone needs to explain to this poor boy he doesn’t have to be embarrassed to be called cute
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Pesci
Pesci tends to hum. He’ll hum a tune that’s been stuck in his head and it’ll get stuck into your head. He’s also just cute doing absolutely nothing. He’s cute in general. Someone needs to say it.
Once you tell him that, he goes red. He doesn’t know how to take a compliment, so he’s just stuttering and stammering, trying to compliment you.
His ears are already hot and his mind is blank.
“You really mean it? You’re cuter!”
God, he’s completely flustered.
He doesn’t try to get rid of the habit, but still thinks about it
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Formaggio
Formaggio actually is also another cutie. He could sit there and be cute. But I see him acting all cute trying on clothes and flexing in them.
Once you tell him he’s cute he’s a little shocked, but not in any bad way.
He’s another macho man, but he’s not gonna be upset by being called cute!
He thinks of it as you hyping him up even more.
“Awh, you really think so? You must think I’m handsome too, huh? You’re pretty cute yourself.”
He just tries to embarrass you.
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Illuso
He uses his computer quite a bit, and he focuses hard. When ever he does, he sticks his tongue out just slightly and squints his eyes. It’s actually adorable if you think about it.
Knowing his online history, he was probably in the middle of cyber bullying while you said that.
He’s a little flustered, but he understands the hype, he is the finest one out of the team (in his opinion)
“You really think so? Even when I’m being so mean?”
Another teaser. He’s gonna be cocky.
He doesn’t try to get rid of the quirk either, but he stops squinting his eyes.
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Melone
ANOTHER one on his computer. You don’t even wanna know what’s on his computer, but his face looks so gentle and calm. He’s another one who can just sit there and be cute.
When you first initially call him cute, he doesn’t realize you’re even talking to him.
It takes him a second and once he notices, he smiles and looks up at you
His face gets a tad bit hot, and he wants to make you feel the same way.
“Miele, you really think so? I think you’re cuter.”
He teases, and he teases well.
He teases in a nice way. It’s actually cute
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Ghiaccio
When he’s concentrated, he bites his lip gently. It’s actually very cute, and it seems to be one of the only times he’s not angry.
He takes it like an insult at first
He’s not a macho man, but he thinks it was passive aggressive.
“What does that mean Amore?? Was that backhanded or something??”
You have to explain to him that you’re not trying to be mean
Another poor boy who can’t take compliments.
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lady-of-endless · 7 days
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Things you do that make their heart melt
(La Squadra Esecuzioni x reader hcs)
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Author's Note: Those are random but that's the point. I tried to be a bit explicit for those who are at the start of Jojo part 5 and maybe don't remember each character's Stand name or ability. I couldn't write this only for my 3 darlings from La Squadra as I started it because I love them all too much. Proud La Squadra stan. Excuse any grammar mistakes. Enjoy!
Risotto Nero
- How you can balance being serious and being affectionate so easily. This is something he admires a lot and wishes to be capable of too sometimes. Yes, he's a serious and stoic man but the whole La Squadra knows just how big his heart is. Sometimes Risotto wishes he could show a bit of affection to the ones dear to him. Risotto is a softie inside but the nature of his occupation forces him to be as reserved and stern as he is now.
- How you can protect yourself. Being a hitman is tough, nothing new under the sun, but being the leader of the team is even worse. It's hard to watch out for others when he also must make sure that everything is working out smoothly. But he cares about you and your safety so damn much it's almost dangerous. So seeing you handle enemies alone helps him fall asleep at night with fewer worries. Also, watching you fight and come up with strategies makes him smile slightly and so subtly that of course, no one can notice it.
- How you look dressed in black with silver accessories. Aesthetically wise, black is one of his favorite colors and no one can tell otherwise. When you decide to match him with a dark outfit, his gaze will follow you more than usual. Be sure of the fact that he'll use his Stand, Metallica, to give you subtle signals, or not so subtle, by pulling onto your belt or necklace.
(it's loving Risotto hours)
Prosciutto
- How you calm yourself down after an intense moment. Prosciutto himself is not proud of when he snaps at people, thinking that it's not graceful behavior so he starts studying you from afar while calming down. He analyzes your soft tone, your calm face but alert eyes after being harsh, to learn from you but he finds himself falling for it. Like his brother, he also craves a bit of softness in his life but will never admit it, not even to himself so seeing you simmer down and transform into someone calm and understanding makes him want your presence more.
- How you counter him when he is too cruel to his brother. He is harsh with Pesci and he knows it, but he thinks it's only for good. It's not about how you're stubborn enough to argue with him but about how it reminds him that if something ever goes wrong with him on a mission, someone else will make sure that his brother is still alright and progressing. Also, as you two are arguing, things get pretty heated in no time and as the distance between you closes in, everyone knows that it's better to leave you two alone.
- How focused you look when deciding on an outfit. That and how you ask him for an opinion. You can see him leaning back in an armchair just looking at you searching through your clothes with an amused but admirative look on his face. Prosciutto likes to make himself look presentable and if you do the same, he can't help but find that fact attractive. Plus he can play dress up with you without you even suspecting it and he can't get enough of it.
(why is he like that? Love him though)
Ghiaccio
- How you let yourself be angry sometimes. To him, almost anyone seems calmer than him, but seeing someone being as furious as him from time to time and that someone being you? That's new. It doesn't happen often and in some odd way, he finds it fascinating. As much as he enjoys teasing you, he'll never be the type to say "Just calm down" or "You're exaggerating" because he knows how much it enrages someone already angry to hear this. He will be very understanding when you're like that. Plus, if someone or something gets you angry, he gets angry too so it will end up with the two of you being a scary couple.
- How your eyes shine when you smile and your smile in general. He is baffled by how when your lips are curved into a smile, your eyes are radiant too. Usually, he uses this expressiveness of yours against you, teasing you about it but when you smile so warmly, he feels like he's looking at the sun and that's unnerving because it makes him blush. He can't understand it.
- How your nose scrunches when you get a brain freeze from consuming something cold. This along with how your cheeks and nose redden when you're cold. He rolls his eyes at himself for like such a shallow and obvious thing but can't help it. It's not how adorable you look it's more how no one notices such details but him. It's his guilty pleasure. He has a kink when it comes to your reactions to cold temperatures.
(ugh I love him so much it's pathetic)
Pesci
- How you encourage him randomly sometimes. Pesci's already having a hard time adjusting to hitman life and constantly being scolded by his brother. At first, when you encourage him, he's stunned, flustered, embarrassed even but in time he starts to feel so much better overall because of it. His stress goes down and he gets more confident and sure of his actions because of your praise.
- How you're kind to the innocent - animals, kids, etc. Since he followed his brother and joined the team, the shock from seeing so much violence in his life all of a sudden left a mark on him. When he notices you being soft to the innocent and helpless while still being a hitman, he starts to heal. His only wish is for you to keep this side of yours so he can keep his too.
- How peaceful you look while sleeping. Again, being in an Italian hitman team is not easy, it distorted any perspective on peacefulness he had before. Seeing you rest without a frown on your face reminds him that there still is peacefulness in this way of living.
Melone
- How you're intelligent enough but don't flaunt it. Sure, he likes good looks but that's not as important as intelligence, any type. Melone is a bit of a sapiosexual, he knows it. If you come up with smart questions during meetings, his attention is immediately on you from that point on until the end of the meeting. Also, if you're genuinely curious about how his stand, Baby Face, works, it only adds to your charm.
- How you pick up on his "di molto" catchphrase. Melone works a lot. I mean A LOT. Besides progenation, he's skilled at finding out hidden info about the target, too. But usually, he does it alone, no one accompanies him and sometimes he can't help but feel slightly ignored. So when you start spending enough time with him to start using his phrases, he starts to feel less alone.
- How you walk. Simple as that. He has been caught many times staring at how some people walk, it's a well-known fact. So if you walk a bit slower and move your hips a bit more intentionally, making it look natural, he's dead. To hell with the mission for a few moments of pure admiration.
Illuso
- How confident you are. You don't need him to hype you up and he won't, but you'll always catch him looking at you with a proud look on his face. However, not everyone can be confident all the time and Illuso knows it very well. When he finds you letting your guard down and looking disappointed with yourself, he'll act right away. He hates seeing you struggle with shallow insecurities as you are just so wonderful in his eyes...
- How you take time to relax. He always insists on you taking everything a bit more slowly, so when you finally do it, he's more than pleased. He likes to see your facial muscles loosen up, causing a relaxed expression. He wishes to see it more often and he wishes for you to prioritise taking care of yourself.
- How you study yourself in the mirror while getting ready. He will use his Stand's ability to enter that mirror's dimension just to look at you from that perspective. This applies to intimate moments as well, just a heads-up. However, his favorite moment to do that is when you're fixing your hair, there's something about it that he finds so damn attractive.
Formaggio
- How you focus on the mission at hand. That, and how serious you look while doing it. Don't get it wrong, he's also focused on the missions but he looks more laid-back, like a natural. He finds it funny and adorable how you look so stern and even suggest him to pay more attention.
- How you always mention Sorbet and Gelato after their death. Everyone knows that Risotto said to forget about it after the funeral to focus on getting back on track as fast as possible and avenging them afterward but to Formaggio, this never felt right. So when you mention a memory from time to time to everyone, his heart feels a little bit lighter.
- How you dance to your favorite songs. He thinks that the majority of members of La Squadra are too stiff and grim sometimes so catching you dancing around alone to your playlist makes him smile. For him, it's like a breath of fresh air. Expect him to join you.
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La Squadra NSFW headcanons because I'm feral ♡
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Cut for length (and content ofc)
Risotto
- Literally one of the most vanilla guys you'll meet in the Mafia. Don't get me wrong my man has his kinks but he's pretty bare bones
- Contrary to popular belief he's not a big fan of blood play and doesn't like to mix work with intimate affairs. He does have a bit of an oral fixation (giving and receiving) and really likes saliva though
- His member is pretty average sized actually. I mean compared to this mountain of a man it may look a bit small but trust me, he knows how to use it
- Does in fact have a cock piercing. It's a magic cross, have fun looking that up. Apparently it helps stimulate too
- His favorite position is cowgirl
Prosciutto
- Sleeps around a lot tbh but really wants to settle down with a special someone after leaving the gang
- Honestly I would not trust him with aftercare he thinks it's lighting a cigarette with a glass of (insert liquor because idk wtf Italians drink)
- Super lazy but can be a really good brat tamer if you push him
- Doesn't have a daddy kink but loves being called "Sir" and likes a power imbalance
- Will smack that ass and it will hurt
- Will fall asleep after finishing his glass but will at least offer to cuddle
Pesci
- Dreams of becoming the perfect man in bed. But I mean he's already got 5/5 stars with aftercare so he's halfway there. Like he can be buck naked and shaking but he'll still ask you if you're okay and try to comfort you afterwards
- Has the BIGGEST dick in the group I won't take criticism or notes my man is PACKING HEAT he just doesn't know how to use it (yet) take caution
- Low-key a masochist and likes to be bossed around but can be a little fragile, please be good and make sure to check up on him uwu. If things get too heavy he might try to force himself to do something to the point he ruins the experience for himself :( communication is key with him
- On a lighter note he VERY MUCH enjoys queening/kinging and will gladly let you sit on his face
- PRAISE HIM PLEASE HE'S A GOOD BOY TRYING HIS BEST AND HE NEEDS TO KNOW IT
Formaggio
- Okay yes he likes pet play are you happy. Luckily he's a major bisexual switch so it can go both ways. He likes being your good puppy <3
- STOP GIVING RISOTTO THE SIZE KINK WHEN IT RIGHTFULLY BELONGS TO THIS KING HIMSELF. He WILL use his Stand on you when you least expect it because he's an ass this is your warning
- Like stated before big switch energy, is a nasty dom when he wants to be but will only bottom if you soft dom him because he does not believe in equality
- He FALLS ASLEEP IMMEDIATELY afterwards and he SNORES because he HATES HIS S/O /j
- Also really loves oral and giving sloppy head. Mf DROOLS EVERYWHERE
Illuso
- Likes to act like a bad bitch but loves when he gets pampered like he will melt if you play with his hair
- Another switch (like most of the JoJo cast but whatever) but it's easier for him to bottom because he's lazy.
- LOVES receiving overstimulation for some reason like suck this man dry until he cries he'll be living it up. Safe words exist for a reason and he use it to his (dis)advantage
- VOICE KINK !! All types of noises from you can get him off. With good ole' Lulu it's important to be vocal, tell him how you feel, make noise, dirty talk, the whole nine yards
- Has a little issue with self worth so like praise this baby, worship this baby, he'll be in heaven
- Shockingly? Pretty good with aftercare
Ghiaccio
- Oh my god it's so easy for him to get overwhelmed and he HATES IT I'm begging for your sake treat him gently
- Easy to fluster because he's pretty new to relationship stuff and he'll need you to show him the ropes. You could very well be one of his first, sex is very intimate for him and he'd like to stick with one person
- Low-key bites
- Due to Stand reasons his limbs are very cold, he will use this against you
- I said Risotto was vanilla but man Ghia might take the cake, he's a bit of a stiff when it comes to the bedroom, but that isn't always bad. He likes good old missionary and making sure he takes care of you, but if he's overly stressed he'll give you the reigns for the night
- If all goes well, and he isn't overstimulated, sex actually really helps him relax, he's a lot more bubbly afterwards and likes to stay up with you, talking, drinking water (but not eating anything because he refuses to have crumbs in the bed)
Melone
- Has the WEIRDEST fixation on bodily fluids like I get where he's coming from but WHY
- As smooth as a baby. Everywhere. We think he waxes but we haven't seen proof yet. He's also got a pretty dick.
- Ribbons, ropes, chains, leather, he's a really big fan of restraints as long as there's a safe word and you're both on the right track
- Totally down to try anything, just ask. He's eager to please.
- Yes.... He has a breeding kink. He wants a big family
- Idk what you call it but pls pls pls let him suck on your titties while you jerk him off. He can die happily
- Really likes the 69 position (with him on top)
Sorbet & Gelato
- Buy one get one free, you cannot get one without the other let's make that clear. They're both sadistic meanies and will not let you top
- Double penetration or spit roasting is a MUST
- Being in a relationship with each other for so long they've gotten good with aftercare, Gelato is more touchy feely while Sorbet is all about snacks and vitamins
- Sorbet bites, Gelato fucking claws. They're both very into marking you up everywhere and love the embarrassment they get from you
- They love you, they really do... But sometimes they can get a little caught up in the moment with their own makeout sessions
- Afterwards you all just collapse into a pile of limbs lol
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depravitymoon · 5 months
Note
Does the Yandere la squadra have room preferences for the darling post kidnapping?
This is the oldest ask sitting in my inbox and today’s the day I answer it. Right now, I’m gonna be honest. Part of the reason this sat in my inbox for so long is because I was trying to figure out the question. Hence, I’m going to try to guess what it’s asking. 
The questions I’m gonna be asking myself:
What are the general house rules post-kidnapping?
Would your yandere even give you a room?
Would your yandere change their own room for you?
And just to make this simple: This is an Everyone Lives AU where Giorno is Don and actually increased La Squadra's pay by 1000%. La Squadra are roommates in a big ass villa, so it feels like live in through own private apartment complex... but richer. lol
(Some of the pictures of rooms come from here.)
(Warning: Other than yandere, kidnapping, and implied forced labor, Melone also wants kids with you.))
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RIsotto Nero
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Risotto’s rules:
Don’t get sassy with him.
Do what he says.
Do not attempt to run away from him.
If he is not there, then have Pesci or Prosciutto guide you.
Would your yandere even give you a room? NO.
Risotto isn’t as fucked up as some of his teammates, but he likes having control of you. Also, it’s easier to intimidate you when he’s always so close to you (and is a giant). Having your own room might make you feel too comfortable disobeying him and he refuses to let you think that’s an option.
Would your yandere change their own room for you? Yes. You behave and he’s willing to even make the room look like Enid and Wednesday’s. 
Prosciutto
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Prosciutto’s rules:
Be a good housewife.
Cook the meals.
Clean the ‘house’.
Run errands with Pesci.
Don’t sass him.
Greet him when he gets home.
Would your yandere even give you a room?  HAHAHAHAHA, NO. You’re funny.  You two are married and married couples sleep together.  Also, you’re in charge of cleaning, do you really want your own room to clean in addition of his room and Pesci’s.
Would your yandere change their own room for you? He will negotiate with you. Have you been a good wife? Have you been completing the chores? What are you willing to give in return to drastically change his room for you? 
Sidenote 01: Prosciutto gets the biggest room because Risotto didn't care to get the Master bedroom. 
Sidenote 02: Proscuitto just wants you taking care of his portion of the villa. If you're being annoying, he'll force you to clean of Pesci's portion (but Pesci's nice enough to help you with your cleaning).
Pesci
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Pesci’s rules:
Be polite to Risotto.
Listen to what big brother says.
If big bro gets handsy on you, look for Pesci.
Avoid the others except Ghiaccio.
Stay away from Ghiaccio when he’s mad. Don’t walk, RUN.
Would your yandere even give you a room? Pesci would never force you to stay in his room unless he actually thought you were in danger. At worse, he'd manipulate you into staying with him. If La Squadra has room (no pun intended) you can have your own room.
Would he change his room for you? Absolutely! He just wants you comfortable! Hell, you can have half of his room AND your own room. 
Melone
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Melone’s Rules:
Be a good parent to his future offspring.
Don’t ask for anything unless you’re willing to do some Not Safe For Work activities for it.
At least pretend you're happy to see Melone once in awhile, especially around bambino!
Would your yandere even give you a room? Honestly, yes. He did kidnap you to force you to have his future children. The least he can do is accommodate you.
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He'll only let you roam the villa if he believes you'll behave. The moment you try leaving is the moment you're literally chained to his bedroom and has to have Pesci follow you around when Melone can't.  Yes, he knows you're mad that he plans to baby trap you. At least you'll be a rich mom, not a pauper with 'freedom'.
Would he change his room for you?  No. If anything, he’d probably make your room also your future baby’s room too, which would force you to come to his room for some peace and quiet.
Ghiaccio
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((Author's Note: Let's pretend that the floor is an all white carpet. Apparently, most people know better than to have white carpet.))
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Ghiaccio’s Rule:
DO NOT stain his room.
DO NOT yell at him.
DO NOT talk to the other members unless it’s an emergency.
DO NOT be alone with Melone.
DONT. STAIN. ANYTHING.
You may be asking "Why would you have a white room? Why not just let me go if you dont want a stained room-" SHUT UP AND DONT SASS HIM.
Would your yandere even give you a room?  Depending on if you two are own good terms, he might let you stay in the tinier room right next to his. Just behave. Your room has no bed, because he'll be forcing you to sleep in his bed with him. You're the most likely darling to be allowed to roam the villa, but you can't go outside. 
Would he change his room for you?  No, which is why you get your own room if you behave. 
Illuso
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Illuso's rules:
Do as he says.
Do as he says.
Do as he says.
Do as he says.
Oh, he keeps you in the mirror world with food all day when he's not with you. Rights? lol Silly darling, you have no rights.
Everything you have is solely due to his desires. While Risotto's darling spends 90% of the time in his room, Illuso's darling spends 99.99% of the time in Illuso's room and the mirror world.
Formaggio
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Doesn’t need rules because he can just shrink you down when he wants.
I imagine the only thing that stands out about Formaggio's room is that it's filled with a dollhouse, dolls, pet cages, and a hamster ball. Why all of that? So he can entertain himself messing with you. 
There is more than enough room for you to be in Formaggio's room. And he doesn't want to break you like Illuso would. Formaggio just likes bullying you, but he does want you functioning like a human being. Having a person he can actually converse with is better han some doll that obeys him, gross. 
Obviously, you wont get your own room, but he will customize your dollhouse room if you behave! Oh and he does like you room the mansion. Keep in mind if you ever try to flee, that privilege is revoked forever.
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mrsvalentinefucker1 · 9 months
Text
La squadra with a s/o Who likes to be spanked and have their hair pulled
With a s/o who likes being choked and spanked
Risotto: Ris has obviously done these things to people in bed before.. I mean look at him…But with this comes some degrading, if you don’t like it tell him but it’s basically just a habit for him. He does praise you as well so… He will not hesitate to fuck you while he yanks you hair and puts your back to his chest, I mean- honestly it’s hot as hell to him as well as it is for you. Risotto isn’t really into spanking as much though, he will do it but it hurts his hand and he doesn’t know why you like it so much. Still hot to him tho.
Prosciutto: He lives for this. His daddy kink shows so bright when you ask him to do these nasty things. Smacks you across the face “you’re too much for daddy, Troia..” he huffs out as he pulls your hair and kissed you neck. He spanks you over his knee all the time. If your acting bratty he will punish you, your ass will be red and you will be crying after, but not crying from pain.. from sexual frustration. He absolutely adores it and you HAVE to count aloud.
Formaggio: Formaggio is such a spanking fan, he loves to spank you all the time. Just smacking your ass in general but he likes to hear you whimper as he fingers you and spanks you. He doesn’t mind hair pulling but it’s not his all time favorite, he just loves to spank you more than anything!
“Oh come on! You weren’t whimpering when you were acting like a bratty slut earlier!” Then another smack comes across your ass
Ghiaccio: Ghiaccio is R O U G H! He loves to be rough and he loves to spank you. Hair pulling isn’t complete if he’s not spanking you while he’s doing it though. Degrading you is all apart of the process. You can’t get through a session without him saying some kind of nasty degrading thing too you. He likes to take his anger out on you so hair pulling and spanking are the way to goooo😩 he absolutely can not get over it. But you will be hurting… everywhere
Melone: melo loves to spank and loves to hair pull. But he pulls hair lightly unlike some people.. (ghiaccio). He pulls you in by your hair and kisses you passionately before you beg him to fuck you, then he spanks you for even thinking to beg like a slut.
“Tsk.. principessa.. begging like a slut isn’t going to get you what you want. Now you know what to do” he points at his lap and you already know to lay over his knees and he makes you out too.
Illuso: He only likes hair pulling no spanking. It hurts his delicate hands and he doesn’t like it. Maybe once in a while he’ll do it but it’s very rare, it only happens when he’s super angry at something and he wants to take it out during sex.
He loves to hair pull tho, yanking you by the hair and hearing you gasp as he pulls you close to him
“What did you say, y/n? You like it when i pull your hair don’t you!?” You whimper and he bites your neck
————
Buy me a Kofi! ☕️
Definitely not required but they do help:)
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jar-of-ectoplasm · 1 year
Text
Just Teasin: La Squadra x Reader
a/n: ehehehe la squadra flirting with/teasing their crush also hi again here is content this has been in my drafts for about a year now and i finally finished it !!!
Genre/Warnings: Fluff, playful teasing, flirting, pre-relationship, a little bit suggestive at some parts, implied short-ish reader, hinted polyamory (sorlato)
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~Risotto~
-for someone that's supposed to be the mature, stoic leader of an assassin team he teases you a lot. pretty much any chance he gets, he'll take
-his ways of teasing are more subtle and he doesn't do it around the team very much
-he will definitely scare you, he'll turn invisible and sneak up behind you before grabbing your shoulders and probably making you drop whatever you were holding
How He Flirts With/Teases You:
-Placing his hand on your waist and pressing his chest to your back when he reaches for something you're standing under
-On missions he'll whisper in your ear and stand really really close to you
-Puts his hand on your shoulder and rubs the place between your neck and shoulder with his thumb
-Calls you stuff like cara/caro (dear) or piccolo tesoro (little darling)
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~Prosciutto~
-Also another squad member who's supposed to be mature and serious but totally isn't
-Pros will tease you all the fucking time. On a mission? Teasing. Trying to relax at HQ? Teasing. Literally he won't stop
-Even though he does it literally every day, nobody really knows he's teasing you because he doesn't make it super obvious
How He Flirts With/Teases You:
-Resting his hand just above your ass while you two are out in public
-Caressing your cheek with the back of his hand when nobody's looking
-Calling you into his room to pick which shirt he should wear that day (when he doesn't have one on)
-Putting his hand on your thigh/leg when you sit next to him
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~Pesci~
-You'd think since he freaks out about how you perceive him he wouldn't mess with you too much right? incorrect.
-Sort of like a high school boy about it tbh, he's more similar to Formaggio in that way even though his mentor is such a stickler about behavior and manners
-Totally gets red in the face if anybody mentions how he acts different around you when you've left the room though
How He Flirts With/Teases You:
-Compares your hand sizes a LOT, you guys could be doing literally anything (including running from an enemy) and he'd make a comment about how your hands were compared to his
-Fake punches you on the shoulder whenever he passes by you; he'll also throw fake slow-motion punches at you and instigate silly "arguments" over the tiniest things
-Pesci is a pretty big dude, he's the second tallest (beat out by risotto obviously) in the group so unless you're also 6'2 he'll steal things out of your hands and make you jump to get whatever it is back
-Always suggests you guys pretend to be a couple when you're trying to blend in when you guys are paired up on missions and he'll play it up a bunch
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~Formaggio~
-Literally nobody is surprised about how not-subtle he is when he's flirting with/teasing you
-It'll hardly ever stop either, so get ready for that too. The only time he'll quit doing it is if it's an insanely serious situation (i.e.: someone [not illuso] is dying)
-Like Pesci, he flirts like a teenager, so most of the shit he says to you is really stupid and is more to annoy you than try winning your affection
How He Flirts With/Teases You
-Always always always breaking out some absolutely horrendous pick-up lines on you, he looks up top 50 worst pick up lines and uses them all within the day
-Is also always trying to get you to agree to go on a date with him; a lot of him getting melone, illuso, and ghiaccio to play waiter after setting up some candles in the headquarter's shitty dining room
-Kind of talks to you how he would talk to his cat?? He uses a lot of stupid ass nicknames when referring and speaking to you and breaks out the baby talk to really annoy you
-Hangs all over you. There isn't a single place you could be where he wouldn't immediately follow (except like, the bathroom but you get what i'm saying); he especially loves making himself tiny and chilling out in one of your pockets (whether or not you notice doesn't matter to him)
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~Illuso~
-He is genuinely so awful oml
-When you guys are both around the team he makes fun of and is mean to you so much you'd think he hated you
-But, when you're both alone, he's very similar to Prosciutto in the way he speaks to and interacts with you. It's very confusing
How He Flirts With/Teases You
-Like I said, when you're around the team he's a massive prick. He'll pick at every little thing you do; your performance levels on your missions, your stand, your outfit that day (even though he's dressed like that)
-He thinks he's being clever, throwing any suspicions of his feelings towards you away, but everybody just thinks it's super obvious and weird how much he talks about you even when you aren't there
-When you guys are alone though, it's a whole other game. He'll intentionally make his voice lower and softer, so you'll have to be closer to him to hear what he's saying properly. He'll sprinkle in a lot of almost suggestive comments so you can never really tell what he's trying to convey to you
-He'll also turn his prior statements into something he can use to get physically closer to you; holding your face in his hands to "inspect it for any unsightly blemishes" and running his hands along the material of your clothing (and your body, by proxy) so he can "properly gauge how cheap your tastes are"
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~Melone~
-Also awful just in a completely different way compared to Illuso
-Very affectionate, almost treats you like a pet with how much he dotes on and touches you
-Obviously this weirdo is gonna say some freaky shit to try getting you flustered or embarrassed
How He Flirts With/Teases You
-Like I said, he's very touchy. He'll drape his entire body across your own when you guys are trying to sit and watch TV, he'll hang off of you when you're trying to cook, he'll have his hands on some part of you as long as he has you within the same general area
-Loves to spoil you with material items too, so he'll drag you along on shopping trips a lot. Most of the time, he wants to get you clothing, so there will be a lot of him picking out some rather revealing outfits and loudly encouraging you to try them on and model for him
-When you guys are paired on long-distance missions, he always books a hotel/motel room with only one bed so the two of you will have to sleep together. You usually wake up with him drooling all over the side of your face, which is gross, but whatever
-He isn't all weird though, Mel keeps a notebook full of everyone on the team's favorite things, and he uses your page quite often. He'll pick up your favorite food or drink if he sees it when he's out, he'll get some random bit of merchandise from your favorite media if he finds it, though he always leaves this stuff right outside your bedroom door instead of giving it to you directly
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~Ghiaccio~
-God this guy can't flirt for shit
-He tries really hard to come across as mysterious and cool but he really just...isn't good at it. It makes him look a lot meaner than he already is with how his resting face looks and the way he phrases a lot of his sentences
-Sometimes it can be really cute when you guys are all alone and he decides he doesn't have to keep up his extreme-asshole personality
How He Flirts With/Teases You
-Loves sneaking up on you and demanding you accompany him on a drive; doesn't matter what you were doing beforehand you are in the car and getting a CD booklet shoved into your lap. He's pretty quite during the whole thing, which kinda makes you second guess his intentions with bringing you out into the country at 11 pm, but eventually he'll drop the scowl and work up the courage to keep his hand on your thigh
-Likes spouting a bunch of random facts about literally anything around you so it makes him look smart. It really just makes him look douchey, but he really doesn't know any other way to impress someone
-Sometimes he'll get Melone to have a fake argument with him so he can go to you and just spend time around you. He doesn't know how to ask to hang out with someone without sounding like he's trying to kill them, so this is the best he can do
-Has definitely made the base much colder than it should be and has hidden most of your heavier jackets/sweaters so he can give you some of his own
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~Sorbet and Gelato~
-They're both so scary but they're also both really good at making that scary insanely hot
-Gelato is a lot more touchy with you than Sorbet is, and Sorbet definitely is touchy but he's more prone to flirting through words rather than touch alone
-They are so so weird and Gelato definitely bites
How They Flirt With/Tease You
-They both talk very loudly about the prospect of adding a third person to their relationship when you're around; if you have the courage to look at them during these conversations you'll usually find their eyes already on you
-Gelato likes to corner you in a random room in the house that nobody else is in, grab you, them lean in really close to your face until your noses are practically touching. He'll stare at you like that for a couple minutes before giggling like a weirdo and running off to find Sorbet again
-Sometimes Sorbet will call you into the kitchen to help him cook, and while you're reaching for something in the cabinets or refrigerator he'll come up behind you and keep his hands on your waist and whisper some random sexy bullshit in your ear before walking back to the stove
-Sometimes if it's just the three of you in a room, or god forbid the whole house, they'll never leave you alone. Sorbet likes to creep up behind you to scare you while Gelato keeps you in place from the front, effectively trapping you in between the two
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