#i have no idea how to tag these; hope nobody minds the gender tags lol

[assignedsleepyatbirth]

HTMLgizmo: A Gizmorial term where ones identity functions the same way HTML functions. This could be ones gender, orientation, aldernic identity, etc.

#-coining #HTMLgizmo #gizmorial #neogender #neogenders #mogai #mogai gender #mogai coining #mogai flag #pemogai #gender coining #liom #liom gender #liom coining #liom flag #my terms #my flags #i have no idea how to tag these; hope nobody minds the gender tags lol

[bigcutebutt]

oh yes, i wanted to talk about this. omegle shut down last year. i only found out in the last week or so

i'm going to be weirdly honest about something i would have otherwise kept to myself forever, but i spent far too much time there, for many, many years of my life. only in text chat, i dont know who in their right mind would want to do the video chat lol. mostly, it was a fruitless and self-destructive behavior that left me feeling not good, but i can't help feeling sad it's just outright gone now, since it was always there for me on and off over so long

as you can probably guess, i used it to talk about what i like to call "weird things" and what now most people call "kinks" - but it's always more complicated than that for me. generally i would roleplay as some exaggerated ideal self - deliberately too exaggerated to be believable, of course (i wasn't trying to deceive). i didn't like to "roleplay" as if i was actually physically interacting with people, i just liked to roleplay that i was someone else, an ideal me, typing on a computer on omegle.com

what made it so special to me was that it was completely ephemeral. usually i'm someone who likes to hoard data, but the way omegle worked was absolutely ideal for exploring myself. every conversation was fresh, and i could try new approaches to "being myself" that had generally zero consequences (with the caveat that of course i never tried to upset or hurt anyone!). nobody had a pre-existing idea of who i was. there was no false image i could possibly build around myself. i could try out human interaction in a distinctly private way. (when people wished to keep in touch outside of omegle, i almost invariably failed completely at keeping anything going)

the relation this has to gender is blindingly obvious, of course. just like literally everything i post about

(though the recurring faces who would show up in the same tags over years and years were an exception to this, but interesting to think about. a weird sense of texture, other lonely people repeating the same fantasies over years of their lives just as i was, for better or worse. fuck you, michael) (sorry to any michaels reading this)

it is probably a good thing that the temptation to go on omegle can never recur for me, given how many nights i ended up disgusted with myself. but again, something is lost forever. a kind of opportunity for self-exploration is lost - one uniquely suited to my own neuroses about being observed. not to mention the general trend of the internet of my youth vanishing piece by piece

as i often complain about, im not sure how to explore myself now when im on my own. its harder for me than it is for others. i dont masturbate, so i cant do what literally everyone else ive met does. i guess i'm just saying that publicly now. i might be too old to even need to explore myself now (but a philosophy of "its never too late" is certainly admirable). but damn it, sometimes i'm just in a mood!

i can only hope that i keep evolving and changing, indefinitely. and hopefully in a way that involves becoming even weirder

theres so much more to say about omegle culture - there were truly so many little quirks that will remain with me forever, especially in the weirder tags. it's an embarrassing part of my life, but also, i think, an important and telling one. sometimes i wanted desperately to have close friends who would keep me from going on it, as if helping me with an addiction - but i never quite achieved that with anyone. but it's still sad. it's an ending. and like most endings on the internet for me, nothing takes its place. i refuse to adapt to the new internet, the web of smartphone apps. its just another part of me that is now vanished. sealed. retired

[raxistaicho]

Are we not engaged?

What, did you think I wouldn’t buy Engage just ‘cause I had ill hopes for it? You’d be wrong, bucko. Raxis from the past took notes while he was playing :)

Spoilers under the tags, I guess.

-Raxis from the past here

-Fuckin’ Timerra gets no real estate space on the cover because Marth has to have cover to leer at us.

-The game opens with a still image of the cover art why?

-Title screen is pretty at least.

-Skip power rangers intro.

-“Select a form” instead of “gender” again, that’ll piss off the shitbags on twitter who complain about this.

-Casual’s the default setting now, is that how it’s been for a while? Not sure. Still neat.

-Invisible Ties-like intro, I see.

-Timerra’s voice is young.

-Marth says the thing.

-Wait this flash-forward has no bad end? Boring. It’s like “hey here’s Marth” and a basic gameplay intro. Was I supposed to be tricked that this is a flashback instead of forward? But that wouldn’t work because Alfred, Ivy, Timerra, and Diamant are here, unless they inexplicably had duplicates in the past. Did we time travel or something?

-Why the fuck were the kids standing over Alear.

-”No way,” “no way.” Riveting dialogue.

-Game indofumps on me about how cool Alear is right away.

-The game wastes no time kissing Alear’s ass.

-Alfred and Celine coming to worship Alear while she was asleep is super creepy.

-ENEMY JUMP SCARE WTF LOL. Just BAM! Suddenly an enemy in front of you!

-”Let run!” okay Alear’s actually fine lol.

-So Vander is supposed to be a veteran knight but he’s all “your courage is legendary, Divine One, let us fite!” Dude, your charge just woke up and has no memory and you have no idea how good she is at fighting, are you TRYING to risk her life?

-And then Clanne and Framme decide to give tanking a try, who the fuck trained these clowns? They’ve got no discipline between the three of them and they’re making a mockery of the supposed sanctity of their position and the Divine Dragon by extension.

-”Remember Fire Emblem?” asked Marth.

Chapter one was just another basic tutorial, I don’t see anyone struggling, even though it’s made to look tense at first with Clanne and Framme appearing to be in danger.

-Lumera is introduced tits first okay.

-Lumera’s infodumping us again.

-Does this war have a name?

-Nobody knows where Sombrom came from. What, was my guess about time travel right?

-What does Lumera DO? Does anyone live in this holy land?

-Lumera was gonna gather the rings herself but she didn’t get around to it. Fucking incompetent protector.

-The game’s rushing into fights.

-Lumera’s defeat quote doesn’t sound appropriate for a training battle, so whatever happens to her after this I’ll see her again after this chapter.

-I didn’t get a chance to fight the two sword cavs because Lumera rushed wtf ahead to lay the smackdown on Vander lol.

Chapter two you just gotta mind archer range and Lumera’s mobility with Sigurd.

-Lumera’s spike clips through her shawl thingy. I can’t unsee it.

-This game’s pacing is unreal, it’s just blitzing through everything to get to the next fight.

-Red Alear dream. Marth’s cadgy about Alear’s past.

-Alfred’s a fucking goofball. Can’t take flower country seriously after seeing its prince and his retainers.

-At least Etie’s abs aren’t spray-painted like Rinkah’s, what with her rocking 10 base strength.

-First human boss is a generic woman, that’s actually pretty cool.

-Why didn’t Lumera pick Alear up and fly her away instead of just tank the dark magic.

-”Divine Dragon” keeps being used like a noun. My “Divine Dragon” energy. Really clunky.

-I don’t think Lumera is Alear’s real mom, she said she was happy to “become” Alear’s mother.

-Lumera dies way too early for me to care. It lacks both the time spent getting to know her that Greil and Jeralt had and also it drags out way too long to have the cruel suddenness Mikoto had.

-Alear’s voice actress is doing her damndest to save the scene though.

-Lol pinky promise.

-Lumera says she’ll talk with Alear again? So I doubt she’s dead for good.

-Lumera has enough life in her for an extended infodump while DYING. Is she operating under Practical Guide to Evil rules?

Chapter Three is getting better, you have to carefully be aggressive so you don’t have to fight too many of them at once. This game’s pretty well playtested mostly, Etie exactly one-shots these pegasi. That said, Framme does dick-all for damage so it’s healbotting for her.

-So Corrupted have been attacking Freline long enough for Alfred to sail to the holy land seeking help. Alear just woke up this same day so what the fuck has Lumera been DOING? Isn’t she supposed to be protecting the land?

-The Somniel can only be reached by Divine Dragons, so WHY NOT KEEP THE RINGS THERE? Why doesn’t Lumera just live there, she didn’t appear to be doing any actual protecting from the holy land!

-Vander Alear C: Vander is devoted, Alear is awkward about it. Nothing new learned.

-Framme Alear C: “Four three two one, who’s our favorite dragon?” Fucking kill me. Framme’s a fangirl but that was obvious during her literal first moment.

-Framme Clanne C: Framme and Clanne are the same fucking character, jesus christ.

-Framme Vander C: Vander is devoted, Framme is kinda lazy. Scene feels like it ends before it’s supposed to, like one of those Three Houses cutscenes with multiple scenes but it stops at the first.

-Bam! Jump cut to Firene!

-Alfred infodumps us on the land. Apparently Firene is a land of plenty, next to a shitty canyon and a shitty desert, and yet nobody attacks them because Solm is chill and Brodia is busy attacking Elucia.

-Brodia is trying to expand their territory yet they’re on the good guy side. Imperialism okay then?

-Celine’s retainers aren’t as annoying as Alfred’s. Also Celine herself seems to be more mature than Alfred, which is... not remotely what I expected, to be honest.

-I feel like the game’s trying to trick me into warping Celine into danger to save Chloe and Louis.

-”Village pillage” fml.

That’s all for now.

#fire emblem engage

[homosociallyyours]

Your last post about the ideal stunt girlfriend! I have some thoughts on this as well. I think first of all as you said the preference is that they just do not exist that is essentially why anything and everything they do seems to be picked apart. I am not sure what it is that someone can do then if their existence is the problem. (This is only in context of the 1D fandom because I have no idea how stunt girlfriend might be treated elsewhere). The blame for the closeting is placed entirely on the shoulders of the stunt girlfriend as if she is the one forcing a closeting whereas we do not know anything going on behind the scenes. (Just want to add that there is nothing wrong with someone choosing to be closeted in order to navigate a homophobic industry and world and to protect oneself.) I know the common story told about larry is that external people are forcing things upon them or are sabotaging them and there may well have been times where they were advised strongly (or manipulated and mistreated when they were younger by those who should have tried to help them in the industry) to stay in the closet but that does not mean that they do not have any agency at all for anything especially not in the present day. Perhaps in an ideal world they may choose to disclose their sexuality and their relationship (but even if they did not they do not owe that to anyone. Anyways the problem is heteronormativity and assuming people are straight by default). I do personally believe that both Louis and Harry want to at least be recognized as part of the LBTQA community for as long as they do not state things publicly (and also show that they are together to those that recognize it. I am a larrie so that is my belief lol) and possibly do want to come out at some point (both about their individual sexualities and their relationship) but until then they do have to perform heterosexuality for many numbers of reasons. And while they do that there is a need for a stunt girlfriend whether as PR or just for the purpose of appearing straight depending on their career needs. I know people who will speak out against attacks on Olivia might still have issues with Eleanor because one is PR and one is not (this is a simplified version of the reasons and I don't want to go into comparisons or reasonings people have for anything. At the end of the day neither attacks is justified to me.)

Okay this is already quite long and I haven't yet got to the point sorry about that. I think at the end of the day the purpose of the stunt girlfriend (when there is no PR involved) is to help maintain the closet until the closet is required. It doesn't matter who the person is tbh. If it were not Eleanor it would have been someone else so people who say things about Eleanor's personality, looks, character, mistakes she may have made do not make sense to me. None of these people know her yet they have made their own head canon version of her which is always a negative version. It would be the same no matter who was in her place. I think Louis' purpose for Eleanor specifically has to do with the story he wants to tell with his music and in interviews (a story that could possibly be most similar to his actual relationship perhaps even if not entirely the same) and I do believe Eleanor specifically helps tell it (as his longest public relationship). It allows him to mention a girlfriend that has "helped him" through tough times and give anecdotes about his "girlfriend". I think Eleanor probably does other things behind the scenes like a personal assistant as well we just do not see it. But the Eleanor we do see is the image that we are shown, the image that tells the story that Louis wants told. And that story in itself is so interesting and to me just confirms things that I believe about his actual relationship. So its more intriguing to me than something to stress over or look at negatively. I don't know Eleanor but what I know is this is her job and she will do it. It is work and I don't know why it has been villainized. I understand being frustrated by the situation and feeling like Louis (and Harry) may have not been happy through stunts in the past (potentially) but that does not translate to hating the stunt girlfriend. Disliking a situation you are in does not mean you dislike everyone who is part of it. But yeah anyways the end point is I do not see any situation in which people would be happy with a stunt girlfriend.

It doesn't matter which song she posts there will always be some criticism over it. It doesn't matter if she just posts herself with dogs or doing influencing there will be a problem. It doesn't matter whether she posts about Louis or not there will be criticism in either case. Lastly it doesn't matter if she talks with Louis' sisters or not either way there will be arguments that they are not on good terms. So I am not quite sure what it is that an ideal stunt girlfriend can do for fans. I don't see any situation where people who have already decided to have a problem just based on the concept of her being a stunt girlfriend will suddenly stop. But talking about these things might help at least some people understand the bias? I just think the best approach is that she keep doing what she feels is best according to the story that she has to tell and ignore the criticism (which can be tough I know because of the immense amount of hate you can get for it). I think if I were to find and guide someone my focus would be on guiding them on how to navigate the hate and I guess general tips based on the story that needs telling. And I think when it comes to finding someone it is probably a mix of finding someone who would look like what the ideal image of a girlfriend to a popstar should look like (which has its own problems and really we need to reevaluate standards of deciding these things) and also someone who can do the other behind the scenes work too?

Idk I have done a lot of rambling (and still probably haven't got all my thoughts down lol) but it was definitely an interesting post that led to some thoughts I felt like discussing. I hope you do not mind my sending an anon with all these thoughts. You do not have to post it if you are afraid of the reaction and can instead reply in tags?

I just want to end with agreeing with what you said about considering bearding to be like sex work. And also thankyou for your post.

hi nonny! thank you for your long and thoughtful response :) i hope you don't mind that i'm publishing it-- i think you made some good points and i appreciate that you really tried to answer the question of who to pick and what to guide them to do. image would definitely be key, as would an internet presence of some kind. i imagine celeb pairings would mean more frequent but less involved appearances while a famous/not famous pair would be able to get away with fewer public spottings but maybe more in depth/intimate scenarios.

and i really think there's just no way to please everyone, but you're right that the blame for closeting seems to fall on the shoulders of the woman who's bearding. :/// that often goes hand in hand with the narrative that they're (still) being forcibly closeted instead of looking at the very real history of ex-boybanders and performers who came out, which is relatively bleak/unsuccessful and making a decision to try to gain more credibility as solo artists.

meanwhile i share your perception that they want to be seen/read as LGBTQ+ by those of us who are part of that community. signalling is real, and it's not based on stereotypes like "oh he wore makeup! he has a limp wrist!" i mean as a queer femme from the south, when i go home i tone myself down quite a lot, but i still wear/use symbols that other queer people are more likely to notice, tell stories about myself that indirectly mention my gender and sexuality, and engage with queer history when possible in ways that straight people just. wouldn't perceive.

but of course you can do all of that and STILL want or need to be in the closet!

i really appreciate you responding to my question, even though i think you're right that there's no answer that would make the hatred these women get any less virulent. i do hope that, like you said, talking about it is at least useful in getting more people to realize that maybe it's undeserved? beards don't build the closets, they just stand there to make sure nobody walks in on the person they're working with while they're half naked, basically.

#long post #closeting #stunt mention #1d #if i get anyone trying to say HL don't signal queerness you're getting blocked #as i hopefully made it clear this is simply how i (and the anon) view the situation #other people can post their perceptions on their own blogs-- that's what they're for :)

[cruelangelstheses]

every nasty thought

fandom: dragon age rating: T characters: anders/hawke words: 2.4k additional tags: canon compliant, mental illness, ocd, trichotillomania, angst with a happy ending, intrusive thoughts, solitary confinement, gender neutral hawke description: anders has been dealing with intrusive thoughts his whole life. an exploration of anders’s character through the lens of ocd and trichotillomania. a/n: HELLO i’ve been very busy recently and haven't had much time to write but i’ve been wanting to do something like this for a while based somewhat on my experience (im projecting lol) so i banged this out for day 5 of @proandersweek - neurodivergent anders! title from “obsessions” by marina and the diamonds. for the full tag list that goes into a bit more of specifics wrt the intrusive thoughts, check the ao3 link

read it on ao3

—

After Anders’s magic manifests for the first time, in the quiet solitude of his bedroom, he finds his fingers itching with the power in his blood. It was always there, he supposes, but now he knows it’s there. Now he can feel it, can recognize the fire always pulsing through his veins, the sparks he could bring to his fingertips in an instant if he so willed it. The magic calls to him, like the feeling of standing at the edge of a cliff and wondering how it would feel to jump, or like a book he’s forbidden to read. The world screams danger, but his hands ache to break the rules.

He’s not stupid. He knows what would happen if anyone in the village discovered his powers. Still, it feels strange trying to continue on living as if nothing has changed now that he knows what he is. Suddenly he no longer feels perfectly at home; when he looks around at his friends and neighbors, all he can think of is how he’s different. He no longer feels like one of them.

Anders lives in a small house in a small village, so he doesn’t get a whole lot of privacy. Before he found out he was a mage, he didn’t really mind it. He likes having friends, likes having a group of people he can think of as his second family. He likes talking to the neighbors and helping to take care of animals or children. Now, though, he finds himself wishing for some alone time, a place where he can practice his magic without getting caught. He’ll sometimes conjure ice in his bedroom at night, but other than that, he doesn’t really have anywhere to go. He could maybe practice in the barn when nobody’s in it, but he’s afraid he might harm one of the animals.

The desire to learn spells, the temptation of the taboo, wages war with Anders’s fear of hurting someone. The thoughts come late at night, when he’s lying awake overthinking, but they also come in the middle of the day, when he’s walking around in the village square or talking with a friend: I could kill any one of these people. I could do it right now if I’m not careful. What if I snap and electrocute my father? What if I try to pet one of the barn cats and accidentally freeze it?

Anders has had distressing thoughts before, thoughts of someone he loves dying, or thoughts of being harmed himself. The difference this time is simply that he’s talked about these kinds of thoughts with his mother; he’s had her remind him that his fears are unfounded, that he’s safe, that they’re all safe. He still feels the need to perform rituals, like feeding the animals just the right amount of food or touching both his shoulders with his fingertips when he wakes up each morning, to ensure that nothing bad will happen, but when he has someone in his corner, the thoughts don’t consume him as much as they could if he were dealing with them alone.

Unfortunately, his newest obsessions all have to do with him being a mage. He can’t even attempt to use logic to fight the bad thoughts, because all of his fears are not only possible, but probable. It’s all he’s ever heard about mages. They can snap at any moment. They can kill twenty people in one fell swoop. They can lose control. They need to be locked up, for everyone else’s safety. He can’t confide in anyone, can’t rely on anyone to tell him that he isn’t going to set his friends on fire. So he deals with the thoughts in silence, the fear mounting with every passing day.

It’s around this time, then, that Anders starts pulling at his hair.

He likes keeping it fairly long, though he often puts it up in a ponytail so it doesn’t get in his face while he’s working or playing. There are always stray hairs, though, and soon he finds that they serve two purposes: to give his fingers something to do so that they no longer twitch with energy, and to help him cope with his obsessions. When he pulls, he goes into a trance, his mind almost empty as he focuses on the feeling of the hair on his fingertips, the slight pinch when he plucks it from his scalp. It’s oddly satisfying, even calming, and it makes him feel safe.

—

About a month after that first surge of magic bloomed in his hands, Anders accidentally starts a fire in the barn.

They get all the animals out in time, but his secret is out. His parents saw him trip and fall, saw as his hand shot out a blast of fire. It may have been his body’s method of self-defense, but it doesn’t matter, because now his mother is looking at him with tears in her eyes, and his father is staring at him in horror.

“I—I’m sorry,” he sputters desperately. “I didn’t mean to, I swear, it won’t happen again, I—”

His mother steps toward him and puts her arms around him, but his father might as well not have heard him. Anders has to fight the urge to push his mother away, the terror crowding in his head: You have no self-control. You’re going to kill her. You’re going to kill your own mother like the monster you are.

That night, Anders lies awake in bed, listening to his parents argue back and forth. His mother wants to protect him. His father, however, thinks it would be best to call the templars. Anders can hear the fear in his voice: fear not just of magic, but of him, his own son, twelve years old and a danger to everyone around him.

Anders pulls almost frantically at the hair on his scalp, but it doesn’t feel like enough, so he starts pulling at his eyebrows too, the coarser hair providing a different sensation. If he pulls enough, maybe it’ll serve as penance.

By morning, his eyebrows are half gone, the skin bright red and rubbed raw. His father contacts the templars anyway. His friends and neighbors stop talking to him. All Anders can think is that it wasn’t enough.

—

It’s strange. His obsessions tell him that he is dangerous, that he needs to be locked up to protect everyone else, that he will kill innocent people if left unchecked. Yet, on his good days, days where he’s better able to fend off those thoughts, he decides that the Circle is bad. In his moments of clarity, Anders recognizes his desire to be free. He daydreams about being able to live a life without being a slave to the Chantry or to his own fears. He starts taking an interest in healing spells in the hope that he can challenge the idea in his mind that magic means pain.

Anders soon realizes that everything he’s been told about mages is a lie. He meets mages who are in complete control, who have been studying magic for decades, people who could live outside of the Circle for the rest of their lives and probably never fall prey to a demon or hurt a civilian with their magic. He meets mages who are compassionate and kind. He meets mages that he could dare to love.

His year in solitary confinement is the worst year of his life. Alone with no one but himself and nothing to do but sit and think, his brain has a fucking field day. This is for the best, you know, it tells him the first few days. You should be locked up in here forever, not just a year. You could snap at any moment. You could kill an apprentice. You would’ve if they hadn’t put you in here.

His mind blames him for Karl being transferred to Kirkwall, has been blaming him for years. He got too comfortable. He let himself feel happiness, feel love. He didn’t perform his rituals enough, didn’t pull enough, and because of it Karl is gone.

During his time in the Circle, his obsessions sometimes take a more religious turn, probably due to the immense amount of Chantry ideology that permeates every corner. He’s gone through periods where all he can think about is how he is unworthy in the eyes of the Maker, how his magic is punishment for all the horrible things inside him, and his time in solitary is no exception. He has intrusive thoughts about the intrusive thoughts. You’re an affront to the Maker. You think about killing your peers and loved ones, and for that you’re going to suffer for eternity. He uses praying and repenting as one of his rituals in the vain hope that it’ll make his brain stop, just stop.

Then the thoughts take a turn for the morbid. He has visions of hurting himself, of electrocuting or immolating himself, of digging his fingernails into his skin until he draws blood or hitting his head against the wall so hard he passes out. I could do it. I could do it right now. I could set myself on fire and be done with it. The thought terrifies him. He doesn’t want to die. He just wants to be able to live.

It’s during solitary, though, that he has his revelation, a revelation that he feels he should’ve figured out a long time ago: all of his obsessions are about things that are the exact opposite of what he really thinks or wants. He doesn’t want to kill. He doesn’t want to die. He doesn’t truly believe that the Maker gives people magic to punish them. And he certainly doesn’t believe that he should be locked up forever simply for an accident of birth.

Two things make his time in solitary bearable: that realization, and the cat Mister Wiggums, who listens to him talk about these things without judgment, and who curls up in his lap when he senses that Anders is in distress. He pulls a lot of his hair out, though. When he’s let back out, the other mages comment that he looks like a different person.

—

Anders isn’t sure if merging with Justice has made things better or worse. On the one hand, it’s comforting, having a friend always with him in some way. On the other, now he has a new fear to obsess over: the fear that Justice will take over and hurt someone.

He realizes, though, that that fear is actually just one of his old fears, rebranded to look like something new. He’s come full circle. He’s twelve years old again, unsure how to handle this newfound power, feeling out of control and hurtling into a strange world.

—

Kirkwall’s Circle is awful, and Darktown is...well, Darktown, but the people that visit Anders in his clinic make it worth it.

It’s incredible, seeing ordinary people, refugees from the Blight, who look at him not with fear but with respect and even a sort of reverence. Children whose sicknesses he’s healed gaze up at him with a spark in their eyes and a thank you on their lips. Even people who aren’t sick or injured start to visit him every once in a while, to check up on him or talk to him or even give him a couple bandages, in the case of Lirene. He hears about them sticking their necks out for him when templars comes snooping around—for him, an apostate mage with obsessions that have made him believe he’s nothing but a danger to everyone around him. It doesn’t make the thoughts stop—nothing does—but it makes them easier to bear, at least somewhat.

Anders’s hair has mostly grown back since his time in solitary, but his eyebrows are a bit sparse, and he still sort of looks like he’s balding already, at the ripe old age of thirty-two. He’s not usually very self-conscious about his looks, but he’ll admit, it catches him off guard when the next person to take an interest in him is none other than a fellow apostate and Fereldan refugee named Hawke, who turns to him one night a few weeks after their initial meeting and says, “You know I’m not kidding when I flirt with you, right?”

It comes out of nowhere. They’re heading down to Lowtown to check out a job. Behind them, Hawke’s brother scoffs in annoyance, and the dwarf, Varric, chuckles knowingly.

Anders raises an eyebrow, suddenly aware of how he must look. Hawke is younger and more muscled than he is, with thick, dark hair that’s probably softer and smoother than his. “You’re...not?” he says slowly. He has to refrain from asking, What do you even see in me? He already warned Hawke to stay away from him, and he hasn’t been able to figure out if the subsequent flirting was serious or not.

Hawke laughs. “Of course not. You’re passionate. You’re serious when you need to be, but you’re also funny. You understand me. You’re attractive. You’re—”

Anders holds a hand up, unable to contain the surprised little smile working its way onto his face. “Did you just say I’m attractive?”

Hawke snorts. “That’s what you got from all that?”

“No, I—” Anders lowers his hand as they both laugh. “It’s just...kind of startling. I mean, even when I’m like...this?” He gestures to all of himself. Hawke noticed his hair-pulling not too soon after they met, and Anders decided he might as well explain at least a little bit of his state of mind.

The fact that Hawke didn’t leave after that, didn’t even seem too fazed, was enough for Anders to trust them almost completely. He’s only told two other people about his obsessions: his mother and Karl. Thank you for not running away, he’d said after he told Hawke about Justice, and he felt the need to say it again then. He feels like he needs to say it now, too, like if he says it enough times, it’ll erase everything bad that could ever happen.

Hawke flashes him a soft smile, eyes twinkling. “Yes, even when you’re like that.”

Hawke’s brother gags exaggeratedly, so Hawke turns around and makes an obscene hand gesture at him. In the back of his mind, Anders hears those familiar voices threatening to take hold again, telling him that he’ll only hurt Hawke if he allows himself to get close. They’ll never really go away, he knows, but he has someone in his corner, and that makes all the difference.

#dragon age #dragon age 2 #anders #proandersweek #handers #hawke #da2 #dragon age ii #my fics #im making myself cry over here but its Fine

[adaline-hiero]

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? My son

2. Are you outgoing or shy? Shy when I am around people I don’t know or know well. And outgoing with my close friends and family

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My babies

4. Are you easy to get along with? I am

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Myself lol

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Funny, caring, compassionate, nerdy, musician, artist types 

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? I am married, so yes.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? M.Shadows and Benny C.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? I have always been a bit awkward when it comes to talking about sex.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My best friend 

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Like amazon 3 years ago, lol.”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? All Avenged Sevenfold Songs: Victim, Exist, Roman Sky, Higher & I won’t see you tonight

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? No, I only like to touch my hair.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? I do

15. What good thing happened this summer? Last summer my sweet little boy turned 4 and I got to enjoy alot of time with my babies

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yes

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? I do

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? I do not

19. Do you like bubble baths? Fuck yeah

20. Do you like your neighbors? Yes, they seem to be nice

21. What are you bad habits? I get distracted easily

22. Where would you like to travel? London, Paris, Florence, Japan

23. Do you have trust issues? Oh buddy, I could tell you some stories. But yes I do

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Going home to my kids

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My thighs and stomach, because I birthed two children

26. What do you do when you wake up? I sit in bed before I roll out and get ready for work

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? I would like a bit more color. I am pasty white right now. Fuck you winter

28. Who are you most comfortable around? My mum

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? No

30. Do you ever want to get married? I am married lol

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? Down to my waist

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? B.C & RDJ

33. Spell your name with your chin. I’m working right now!

34. Do you play sports? What sports? I chase toddlers

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Tv

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Oh yeah

37. What do you say during awkward silences? So, then change the subject

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Does M.Shadows count? 

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Sephora 

40. What do you want to do after high school? I am 11 years out of high school

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Some yes, others no.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I am in a bad depressed state.

43. Do you smile at strangers? Out of habit yes

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Space

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Work and my children

46. What are you paranoid about? I have sleep paranoia so that’s cool. But I have a list

47. Have you ever been high? No

48. Have you ever been drunk? Yes

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? No, I am pretty chill

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Black A7X hoodie

51. Ever wished you were someone else? Yes

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? More confident 

53. Favourite makeup brand? Urban decay

54. Favourite store? Sephora 

55. Favourite blog? @sobeautifullyobsessed

56. Favourite colour? Black and Red

57. Favourite food? Pizza for life

58. Last thing you ate? A wrap

59. First thing you ate this morning? a banana

60. Ever won a competition? No

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? No

62. Been arrested? For what? No

63. Ever been in love? Yes

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? Basically me, my 2 brothers and my mum and all of our close friends stayed in one hotel room and I stayed up all night drawing with one of my older brothers best friends and I had my first kiss with him while everyone slept

65. Are you hungry right now? No, I just had lunch

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? They are all my friends so 

67. Facebook or Twitter? I don’t use twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr ftw

69. Are you watching tv right now? No

70. Names of your bestfriends? Michelle and Rachel

71. Craving something? What? Not at the moment

72. What colour are your towels? A mix 

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two 

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? Me none, my babies, no idea

75. Favourite animal? Penguin 

76. What colour is your underwear? Light rose gold color

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Cold stone birthday cake remix

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Maroon

80. What colour pants? Black leggins

81. Favourite tv show? Sherlock

82. Favourite movie? Avengers in general 

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? They have a second one?

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? I guess 21 jump street

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? No idea

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Crush

87. First person you talked to today? My husband

88. Last person you talked to today? My mum

89. Name a person you hate? My father

90. Name a person you love? My family

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Not at the moment 

92. In a fight with someone? No

93. How many sweatpants do you have? Two or three

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? Ten plus

95. Last movie you watched? The hobbit, battle of the five armies 

96. Favourite actress? Karen Gillian 

97. Favourite actor? Benedict Cumberbatch.

98. Do you tan a lot? Not much 

99. Have any pets? One pupper

100. How are you feeling? Ok? I am at work so 

101. Do you type fast? Yes

102. Do you regret anything from your past? Oh yeah

103. Can you spell well? Not the best speller

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? I do

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yes

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? A few times yes

107. Have you ever been on a horse? Once, I did not enjoy it

108. What should you be doing? Working

109. Is something irritating you right now? No

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Yes

111. Do you have trust issues? Yes

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? My mum

113. What was your childhood nickname? Bambi

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yes

115. Do you play the Wii? I used to

116. Are you listening to music right now? Yes, Avenged Sevenfold

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? No

118. Do you like Chinese food? Yes

119. Favourite book? Maia

120. Are you afraid of the dark? Not much 

121. Are you mean? No

122. Is cheating ever okay? No

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? Mmmm, no

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes

125. Do you believe in true love? Yes

126. Are you currently bored? No

127. What makes you happy? My art and friends and family

128. Would you change your name? Yes

129. What your zodiac sign? Virgo

130. Do you like subway? It’s ok

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Hmm, er I’m married?

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? My bestie

133. Favourite lyrics right now? “Meet you in the stars tonight, there you find me drifting in the ether within the lull”

134. Can you count to one million? Never tried

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I didn’t order that pizza

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed door

137. How tall are you? 5’3′

138. Curly or Straight hair? Wavy

139. Brunette or Blonde? Dark brown

140. Summer or Winter? Fall

141. Night or Day? Night

142. Favourite month? October

143. Are you a vegetarian? NO

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Milk or white chocolate

145. Tea or Coffee? Tea

146. Was today a good day? It’s been fine so far

147. Mars or Snickers? Mars

148. What’s your favourite quote? “Seize the day, or die regretting the time you lost.”

149. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes

150. Do you tag anyone else to do this? I do, also thank you to @jumbledfangirl for tagging me @sobeautifullyobsessed @wurwurz @julaerenee

[wurwurz]

I was tagged by @adaline-hiero, thank you sweetie.

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? My mother.

2. Are you outgoing or shy? I used to be very shy at school and university era, even as a young adult. I wouldn't say I'm outgoing now. But not shy anymore. Right in the middle.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My mother and my brother because they are all the family I have left. My dog because he's my baby.

4. Are you easy to get along with? Yes

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? I've never ever been drunk in my life. No interest.

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? The ones who could not be attracted to me. The Hiddleston and Cumberbatch kind (funny, smart, artist, educated, gentleman, caring, giving, handsome but doesn't act like he God knows it, heartful, sensitive...)

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Nah.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? My dash shows me a lot of Brie Larson content these days (due to Marvel) and I envy her silhouette, mainly her boobs.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Online ? Nah. Face to face, depends.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My dog. "How not to pee in the kitchen when mom is in the bedroom".

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Damned Quasimodo !” to my brother (Notre Dame de Paris burning).

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? I don't listen to the radio, so I barely listen to "new" songs.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Kids, no. Lover, yes.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? As much as I believe in Nessy.

15. What good thing happened this summer? I went to the Provence.

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? No.

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? That's not even a question. Just logic. Yes there is life on other planets and I hope it is nothing like humans.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? No.

19. Do you like bubble baths? I prefer showers.

20. Do you like your neighbors? Two look like serial killers, one is 110 years old, one obviously doesn't know what a shower is for, two other kill my nose sensitivity everytime they open their door, one loves to play music until 4 in the morning. Noooope.

21. What are you bad habits? I try to do 10 things at once. Worse is that I do succeed.

22. Where would you like to travel? London.

23. Do you have trust issues? If I understand the question right, ooooh yes.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Going back home in the evening.

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My thumbs because I've got brachydactyly.

26. What do you do when you wake up? I rub my eyes and I complain about me not sleeping enough.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? My skin is as white as Olaf and I love it. It never gets tanned, it's fascinating. I turn red and then all white again.

28. Who are you most comfortable around? My mum.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? No.

30. Do you ever want to get married? Not really.

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? Yes.

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Tom and Benedict and meeeee.

33. Spell your name with your chin. I have no dea what that one means.

34. Do you play sports? What sports? Yes, shopping and I've very good at it.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Depends. Sometimes I listen to music for hours everyday and sometimes I don't listen to a single tune. Same for TV.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yes.

37. What do you say during awkward silences? I laugh.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? The answer will sound so teenish. The two actors I feel for.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Decoration stores.

40. What do you want to do after high school? I am 43, honey.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Some yes, others neva eva.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I've just woken up.

43. Do you smile at strangers? If they walk their dog, yes. Though I first smile at the dog.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Asgard.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? An invisible force stronger than me.

46. What are you paranoid about? Losing the 2 only members of my family.

47. Have you ever been high? No and not willing to be.

48. Have you ever been drunk? No, police officer.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? I was made for acting bad. ^^

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? I don't wear hoodies.

51. Ever wished you were someone else? Yes. Currently wishing I was Bobby Hiddleston. But I wouldn't enjoy being that furry for long.

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? More confident.

53. Favourite makeup brand? Revolution Beauty for cheap brand. Make Up For Ever.

54. Favourite store? Make up ? Sephora

55. Favourite blog? Some I love equaly, so no name.

56. Favourite colour? Green.

57. Favourite food? Pizza.

58. Last thing you ate? Foret noire (Bonte Divina).

59. First thing you ate this morning? Nesquik + Princes Lu.

60. Ever won a competition? Yes, if work competition are included. My boss didn't know if he should keep me or the other girl (I knew he preferd the other girl because of her short skirts), so he gave us tests. I won. Hehehe.

61. Been suspended/expelled? No comprendo.

62. Been arrested? For what? No.

63. Ever been in love? Yes.

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? No, I won't.

65. Are you hungry right now? A bit. But on a diet for one day so I'm not gonna ruin it already !

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? I hate them all !!! lol

67. Facebook or Twitter? Sick of Facebook. Too unpretty for my standards and too full of boring stuff. Twitter.

68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr !

69. Are you watching tv right now? Yes.

70. Names of your bestfriends? Tic and Tac.

71. Craving something? What? Another one I don't get. What is to crave ?

72. What colour are your towels? Taupe (light brown).

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? One ergonomic.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No but I wished that my real living animal would like to sleep with me, but he doesn't. Chihuahuas...

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? Me, none. My dog has over 20.

75. Favourite animal? Except dogs, gorillas.

76. What colour is your underwear? White.

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate.

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Pistachio / Mint.

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Depends.

80. What colour pants? Depends.

81. Favourite tv show? Sherlock.

82. Favourite movie? Bram Stoker's Dracula.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Since I don't know what it is, I guess... none !

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? I used to watch 21 Jump Street when I was a teenie with Depp that I already didn't like... Overrated actor.

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Stop asking.

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? The mean shark. Kidding. Dory.

87. First person you talked to today? My dog asking him if he had slept well. He never answered.

88. Last person you talked to today? My dog wishing him a good night. He never replied.

89. Name a person you hate? My grandmother. Wishing her the worst on earth (loooooong story).

90. Name a person you love? My mother + my own Myscroft.

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? My grandmother now that you brought that back.

92. In a fight with someone? No.

93. How many sweatpants do you have? None. That's a fashion no for anybody.

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? No hoodie. Sweaters a bunch.

95. Last movie you watched? Crappy movies on Netflix and I have no idea how they were called...

96. Favourite actress? Sigourney Weaver.

97. Favourite actor? Benedict Cumberbatch because he blew me away too many times. Tom Hiddleston is a great contender.

98. Do you tan a lot? Not at all. But I do get red.

99. Have any pets? One chihuahua, Cookie, 9 years old. Had another chihuahua named Bobby who passed away last year. He was 11.

100. How are you feeling? Ok? I'm at home watching Notre Dame burning. I'm sad.

101. Do you type fast? Kind of.

102. Do you regret anything from your past? Sadly yes.

103. Can you spell well? Yes.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? My father. He passed away in 2015.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? No idea what it is.

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? Happened.

107. Have you ever been on a horse? My friend told me it was a horse and confessed it was just a big poney afterwards.

108. What should you be doing? Giffing !

109. Is something irritating you right now? I'm biting a nail and I've just ruined it.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Yes.

111. Do you have trust issues? You've already asked that one, parrot.

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? My mother.

113. What was your childhood nickname? "Nini la sauce".

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? I went to Germany to meet an actor I don't care about now. I met online buddies, visited Germany. Was great.

115. Do you play the Wii? PLAYSTATION !!!

116. Are you listening to music right now? Nope.

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? No.

118. Do you like Chinese food? No.

119. Favourite book? The vampire Lestat, Anne Rice.

120. Are you afraid of the dark? No. Love it.

121. Are you mean? Hehehe, yesssss.

122. Is cheating ever okay? No. Never.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? No, not with a doggie.

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes.

125. Do you believe in true love? Yes.

126. Are you currently bored? A bit, that thing is too long.

127. What makes you happy? When my bank doesn't call to complain about my empty account.

128. Would you change your name? Noooo. Marilyn is a beautiful name. Merci, maman.

129. What your zodiac sign? Aquarius.

130. Do you like subway? Never used subway.

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? God that silly thing happened. That was embarrassing. He was just a friend, not someone I ever felt for. That has ruined our friendship, he was kind of married.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Not kidding, you have already asked the same question, right ?

133. Favourite lyrics right now? “shoo-be-doo-be-doo" by Madonna. Yeah, that's deep.

134. Can you count to one million? Happy to know I have always had better things to do.

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? "I hadn't noticed that Cookie had vomited right there, mom, promise". For the record, she cleaned. *g*

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed door ! I live in the french Bronx !

137. How tall are you? 162 cm. Something like... 28 cm shorter than Tom Hiddleston.

138. Curly or Straight hair? Wavy.

139. Brunette or Blonde? Brunette with one or two white hair already.

140. Summer or Winter? Summer. I hate, like really really hate winter.

141. Night or Day? Night.

142. Favourite month? July.

143. Are you a vegetarian? I'm weirdian. I don't like meat, I don't like vegetables. I am a pain in the ass when you ask me to come diner.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Milk chocolate.

145. Tea or Coffee? Coffee. Benedict can keep all the tea.

146. Was today a good day? Until my country lost one of its most iconic monument, yes.

147. Mars or Snickers? Mars.

148. What’s your favourite quote? “If it bleeds, we can kill it”. ^^

149. Do you believe in ghosts? No but Zach Bagans would make me say yes.

150. Do you tag anyone else to do this? I always fear I bore my mutuals with these, so nope.

#I was tagged #ask game #that was a damn long one #thank you !

[lululawrence]

lululawrence’s May 2018 Fic List

Click here for previous months’ fic lists

And we’re back for another month of reading! I didn’t do a lot of writing this month, but I read a LOT so this list is long! So buckle up, and let’s look back on the amazing fics I read this month! (There’s a lot of Tomlinshaw, but I promise there’s Larry too! Keep reading and don’t give up on me pls hehe)

but tonight (you’re on my mind) by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16 There’s a lot of Tomlinshaw on this list this month because I was wanting some awesome banter and high angst due to lack of communication and who does that better than Tomlinshaw? ANYWAY, this fic was almost too much for me hahahaha! Anitra has a way of writing that makes you feel every bit of pain and the anticipation building up to where I knew it was going was killing me, but DAMN was the resolution of it all amazing! If Tomlinshaw is your thing, defo give this one a try.

Know You Know You Got It Bad by @taggiecb / taggiecb This one had me cackling but also horrified at the amount of WOW THAT TOTALLY CAME OUT WRONG and misunderstandings, and that is exactly what made this such a fantastic ride. Another fab Tomlinshaw to read, should that be your thing!

Do You Smile To Tempt A Lover by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16 A MUSEUM AU WHERE NICK PAYS HOMAGE TO PAINTINGS OF MAGGIE SMITH AND JUDI DENCH AFTER OGGLING LOUIS? Yes please. Featuring matchmaker Zayn. AND Louis secretly writes erotica during his lunch breaks? This fic is sooooo fun. A defo Tomlinshaw read.

A Royal Wedding by @reminiscingintherain / reminiscingintherain This short ditty is SO CUTE!!! A short and sweet Larry meet-cute surrounding the royal wedding. It is the best little fic snack to leave you feeling good!

We Used To Wait by @magicalrocketships / sunsetmog I read this as I was on my period and started it around 1 am. Both of these life decisions I do not recommend, because I ended up just shoving a tissue between my face and my pillow so I could keep reading without creating a puddle on my pillow as Nick freaked out in the hospital over Louis possibly not surviving. All the same, the fact I kept reading despite all of this should be one of the highest recommendations. This fic destroyed me and put me back together again in all of the best ways. A Tomlinshaw must read.

Somebody Hurt You (I Know A Place) by @writsgrimmyblog / writcraft I...well looking back on this I thought this fic was a lot shorter than it actually is because I devoured it so fast and it reads so well I had no idea it was 20k. ha! So, that being said: Tomlinshaw featuring amnesia. There’s a few of these coming because I NEEDED IT sorry not sorry. The structure of the fic was beautiful too!

loose lips sink ship all the damn time (not this time) by @mediawhorefics / MediaWhore THIS FIC OMGOSHHHHHHHH I loved it. Gosh I loved it. Secret relationship AGAIN, forced outing, exes to lovers, ALL THE EMOTIONS! The way Nick was written too just had me in LOVE. Sigh. Another fab Tomlinshaw with some incredible structuring that allows you to watch the relationship begin and fall apart all while seeing them come back together again. (I promise, there’s more Larry coming, please don’t give up on me lol)

The Disgruntled Novelist's Bodacious Pornographer (or, that time Nick and Louis were rival romance writers) by aliferuined This fic had me laughing so hard on my porch while my son played with bubbles he actually climbed on my lap to see if I was watching a funny video. I was crying and wheezing. This was just... the most hilarious. Tomlinshaw, again hehe

wait for me to come home by carissima TOMLINSHAW TIME TRAVEL!!! And it’s done in such a beautiful way! It completely satisfies all desires for knowing what happens where and I just LOVE it! 

Once every day your life starts again by blackmustache This fic also features Tomlinshaw amnesia (see a theme for me? lol) and soccer aid and secret relationships and Jay helping them find each other again, which is lovely!

Nobody compares to you by @headband-husbands / fallenflowercrowns (meggiewrites) Larry returns! haha It’s all Larry from here on out on the list, promise :) Tumblr AU! Canon Compliant! Best Friends to Lovers! What more could you want in a fic? I honestly don’t know, which obviously means I loved this one lolll

Seeing Blind by @sugarbabyomega / zedi BLIND ALPHA LOUIS, SAUCY OMEGA HARRY! Gosh this fic just. WOW. It flips between POVs and gives such a full and lovely feel for the entire thing. Involving surprise early heats! No Strings Attached hook ups that turn into Feelings! What could go wrong?? hehehe A new favorite A/B/O for me!

Stay Close, Hold Steady by @jaerie / jaerie THIS FIC FAM! It is one of my fic babies that I didn’t write. hahaha My random ramblings to Jenna as I drove in the car back in March might have helped form this amazing fic and I love it so much. “Brothers” A/B/O Larry fic involving finding your lost family, gender presentation, and so much more. Read while listening to The Tide. It’s a good choice. Promise.

Among Friends by @theficwritersblock / secretswekeepxx This fic, y’all. I’d never seen the film it was based on, so I was a bit wary going into it but IT WAS SO GOOD! SOOOO GOOOOOD!  Be prepared for the pain, the ridiculousness, stupid boys, and love conquering all. Duh.

And I Will Steady Your Hand by @icanhazzalou / kiwikero Another great A/B/O fic! Keri pulls out all the stops with late presentation support group amazingness and the changes and confusion/frustration that come with them, especially at a time of life where it feels like EVERYTHING is changing. It’s such a great fic. Defo read it.

All That You Are by @iamasphodelknox / asphodelknox Y’ALL. This fic. It’s historical fiction at it’s finest. WWII soldier OT5 and Shawn friendship and period typical homophobia and dreams and relying on each other and love and I keep talking and it’s just not enough. All the love for this fic. It is art and beauty and wow. Defo read it.

Getting Naked on Camera (NOT CLICKBAIT) by @velvetnoodle / velvetnoodle (goldfishsunglasses) This little thing had me giggling. A great, light little fic to help you smile on a hard day!

Bijou by @fullonlarrie / FullOnLarrie Lauren did such amazing things with this! Micropenises. Who knew? I didn’t until now, but I can’t wait for the other fics that will eventually be a part of this!

my favourite colour is you by @velvetnoodle / velvetnoodle (goldfishsunglasses) SO CUTE. MUCH CUTE. ALL THE CUTE. It’s so soft and lovely and a happy place to escape.

Slow Hands (Slow Days) by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry This fic, y’all. Farmer Harry, Vet Louis. Softness. Country living. Good friends. It feels so lovely and yet I couldn’t stop giggling at the slow hands aspect of it. haha Defo recommend reading this to understand what slow hands has to do with any of this. 

Your Shadow Running Round by @harrystanslouis / harrystanslouis This fic is lovely! So lovely! Stupid boys who made stupid decisions and have to fix things are a soft spot for me, and that is definitely featured in this fic.

Run With Your Mind by @larryandgaystuff / larryandgaystuff (cnd8544) Another great story with such a great connection to the song it was written for! Full of stupid boys with feelings they aren’t talking about even though they really should. Maybe that was this month’s theme. Next month’s should be communication. HAH! 

Took Me by Surprise by @becomeawendybird / QuickedWeen This is a fic that Molly teased me with the idea for AGES ago and when it finally came to fruition I was not disappointed! Such an amazing read and a fic all around! The kid aspect was so believable and wonderful and just a lovely added bonus to the entire thing.

All My Friends Are Here by abrighteryellow This was the cutest fic! Pub quiz hosted by Harry becomes more than just a little appealing to Louis, despite the fact he doesn’t want it to be. A short little meet-cute to make you smile!

Mars Needs Irishmen by @fakedeepplantjerker / kassio Listen. This is a fic where the relationship tagged is Niall and Space. It’s got a great narrative structure and the story is so lovely! I really enjoyed it. So fulfilling and a great read!

maybe by @gaycousinlarry / momentofclarity This story!!! Two little nerdy boys who don’t think they have a chance with the other falling for each other anyway? Yes please. A beautifully fulfiling story considering how few words there are!

Beat the Odds Together by @ireallysawanangel / crimsontheory Cute! That’s all I can really say. It was so cute! A short little thing with surprising amounts of emotion packed in. 

walk down our aisles first by @jumperlouis / musketrois (B_kate) THIS. WAS. SO. SWEET. I keep saying that, but these short fics for the short fic fest gave me life when I was dealing with stress from my mom’s big open heart surgery and the aftermath of that. This was was particularly lovely as a meet cute with a slight twist to it that I really enjoyed.

Redwood Seedlings Prefer Full Sunlight by @polkadotsvstripes / polka_stripes Girl!Direction short fic featuring a meet-cute! I really enjoyed this one too. A fun quick read that also makes you hope they make it work hehe

Sea of Love by @kinglouisxxviii / theweightofmywords Mermaids and Princes! What more could you ask for?

If Anyone Knew by @marastarfar / StarFar Listen. This was one of the first A/B/O fics I ever read, and it was a WIP. A WIP I thought had been abandoned but then the amazing Mara almost made me cry by completing it! This fic is so great. Please be warned though, there are a LOT of triggers and it very much is a dark!fic in many ways, so be cautious before jumping in. Worth it if you can handle it, though! A great read, as StarFar’s stuff always is.

tell me what you need by @disgruntledkittenface / disgruntledkittenface This fic!!! I laughed hard enough to have my husband pause his movie and take out his headphones to ask me what in the world was going on lollll The pacing of this fic! It had me gasping and having to pause reading on numerous occasions so I could see clearly enough to keep reading. Definitely up there as one of the funniest fics I’ve ever read. 

Not yet a breach, but an expansion by @kinglouisxxviii / theweightofmywords GOSH THIS FIC! Heartwrenching and beautiful and so powerful in so few words! How?!?! I have no idea. Gorgeous and an amazing twist on soulmates.

when i'm pipe and slippers and rocking chair by nightwideopen Whoops. I lied. Another Tomlinshaw. Whatcha gonna do? This was such a cute little thing, though. Such a fun little established relationship fic hehe

head over feet by @kinglouisxxviii / theweightofmywords This fic was so good I went yelling in my GCs until I could find someone who know the tumblr associated with this AO3 and then I immediately ran and began screaming at Caryn, okay? Please read it. Love yourself. Read this fic.

Wish You Were Here by @undersummerstars / alittlewicked SELKIE HARRYYYYYYY!!! I need all the selkie Harry fics. Amazing. This one absolutely did not disappoint. I loved it and it made me crave more. 

Surrender to Seduction by @laynefaire / Layne Faire (HisDarlin) Layne’s tag “fast and loose with canon” had me giggling but those giggles stopped as I read this fic because the way she writes has such power and draw I was immediately in the story. A great read!

Until You Use Me Up by @fullonlarrie / FullOnLarrie OKAY LISTEN. Before I knew this was Lauren’s I read it and was just like FANNING MYSELF. It was so hot and so well done and amazing. It was just...amazing.

AND THAT, in reverse chronological order (because apparently that’s how I roll today), is a list of the fics I read and loved this month! Thank you to all of the amazing writers who shared your amazing works with us! You provided me with so much help in difficult days and entertainment. 

Please spread love to the fandom writers and leave them comments and kudos on their fics! I’ll be back next month with what will likely be a much shorter list lollll

#mine #my fic rec #fic rec #fic writer appreciation #28th appreciation #fic list #may 2018 fic list

[moldypieceoflasagna]

36 questions that nobody asked me

(except @lollipoppedchainsaw )

(the 36 questions that lead to love or whatever) https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

I hate going out to dinner so much i probably wouldnt be able to enjoy it properly

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

It would be interesting to see what it’s like for a short period of time, but i’d never be able to keep it up; i’d probably have an identity crisis

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

yes i have to mentally prepare myself 100% of the time

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

hanging out with the people i love is enough to keep me happy for a good while tbh. sitting around doing nothing literally nothing with them is endlessly entertaining to me even though sometimes i might make that hard to believe 

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

i sing to myself a lot, not so much to others- although i AM a slut for karaoke

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

body because i feel thats probably what old people complain about most. plus like,, 90 years of life knowledge? sounds great to me

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

probably an accident that’s almost statistically impossible

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

single rn (ladies) but i usually try to find friends with similar music tastes because scream-singing in the car is the most fun one can have

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

im most grateful for my dogs and for my friends! i love them and it means the world to me to have people that i can call family. also i would die without my dog juno, she is my rock (and my therapist)

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

Not rly how i was raised, but i wish i had a closer relationship with my older siblings. Three of them had moved out before i was rly old enough to not be an asshole child, so most of them still see me as an asshole child and they never take me seriously. im glad i have an alright relationship with them, but that’s kinda all it is and i know i could do better

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

Lived in Texas my whole life yeehaw. I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters; 2 of them dont like me, and my relationship with the other 2 is,, certainly not bad. Had a lot of physical and mental illness in the past, but 20gayteen is definitely my year, yeet

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

either speaking a different language or playing the piano. im very jealous of good piano players, and at some point i need to be able to speak a more useful language than french because so far in texas it’s proved absolutely useless (other than talking to my mom but that doesnt count)

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

I’d wanna know wtf im supposed to do with my life because sweaty i still have no idea. passion? dont know her please introduce me

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

i wanna go skydiving bitch, no one wants to go with me! pussies!!! the lot of you

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

that one time i did an entire semester’s worth of work in the last three days of the school year

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

being able to put up with my huge fucking mouth. also honesty is super important, even if it’ll make me feel shitty

17. What is your most treasured memory?

when i went camping with a bunch of friends and they were bitter i got to be in the middle of the tent because they were all cold. either that or the time i was getting really bad sleep paralysis and @lonelywaterfall & @skity stayed over so my paranoia didnt render me completely useless,,, also the paramore concert lol ive never been more vulnerable in my life.

18. What is your most terrible memory?

coming out to my mom haha

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

i’d go on a trip around the world to explore/to see a few people, and i’d put extra effort into my gender expression

20. What does friendship mean to you?

comfortable silence is my kink. also emotional vulnerability and SAD BOY HOURS we cant forget those

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

I’m such a slut for physical affection yall have no idea please hug me as much as possible and play with my hair or my hands

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

i guess ill do the same with previous partners so.. i think being funny is probably the #1 thing i appreciate in someone. when you make me laugh so hard i cry, just know that’s like. peak. also stubbornness is strangely attractive to me, plus like,,, uh having an unexpected soft side? an appreciation of art is super important, too. also SPOON VERSATILITY.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

it was probably happier than a lot of people’s but there wasnt much to it. plus being the youngest in my ENTIRE family really sucked during my childhood because everyone picked on me and i think that’s probably what started a lot of my issues lol

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

better than it could be, but definitely not what i want it to be. we both love each other and i admire her work ethic, but she gave me a lot of anxiety problems (both genetically and not) and she isnt the most understanding person. i have hope though, people change

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling …

I’m hungry and sitting alone in front of my computer feeling like OVERSHARING ON THIS BEAUTIFUL THURSDAY MORNING, BOYS

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share …

many, MANY animals and a lighthouse in the middle of nowhere

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

I’m REALLY insecure about my body xd

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

LOVE feeling safe. 

29. Share an embarrassing moment in your life.

probably every time that i’ve ever worn a dress, because i really,, really dont like wearing dresses and that’s it

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

last cried by myself this morning and last cried in front of another person at my friend’s birthday party

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

no partner but if youre reading this im rly proud of ur attention span. gj buddy

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

i think most things can be joked about after a certain amount of time, but like,, it has to actually be funny and it has to come from someone i know isnt serious about it. if a joke is made just for the purpose of being offensive and edgy, it’s never funny no tea just truth. 

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

i’d regret not spending enough time with people that i love, not traveling as much as i should have, and also i’d regret not formally coming out of the closet to my family (they probably already been done knew but like. yknow). i came out to myself & the people closest to me a LONG ass time ago, but i’ve kinda seen what it did to my immediate family so im not too excited to do that to my extended family. if i’m not too much of a pussy, ill probably do it in the summer when i see them next, bc ive been meaning to for a while.

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

is it bad of me to say my computer? i feel like everyone else has a much more meaningful answer lol. it would probably either be that or the papers i keep on my bulletin board, bc most of them hold a lot of sentimental value (also my prescriptions  would be a pain to get copies of)

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

either of my parents because i dont want them dying before i reach the point where i can expect them to be happy for me when i marry a girl

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

personal problems? what’re those lmfao dont have any srry try me again later

 i’m too much of a pussy to tag certain people so if you see this and I've had any sort of conversation with you, do it coward

(also @skity  @drawinintherain )

#love exposing myself to people on the internet #hot

[love-jesus-but-i-drink-a-little]

whole heartedly agree with all of that. you’re probably right. you could probably tell i’m pretty curious. if i want to know someone i want to know everything. not immediately but eventually. i like the vulnerability it takes in really getting to know someone fully. i think that’s what makes this newer era magical, as you said, because from my experience, it’s difficult to find people like this in person. i’ll stop here bc this is gonna have to be a four parter oops (1/4)

who i am? just a curious web roamer that likes the vibe you give off 😌 in all seriousness, i follow you on insta, don’t quite remember how i came across your tumblr, think maybe i recognized your Dani/Jamie drawings from mindlessly scrolling tags? i don’t think that sounds strange, i can appreciate your view on this & from what i’m learning about you i’m not sure any other answer would have sufficed. full disclosure, i asked that in hopes that there’d be a chance to see them up close 😂 (2/4)

BUT instead you’ve opened my mind to challenge my weird relationship with possessions. i have 3! i mentioned my “nobody is wired wrong” tattoo. i got it as soon as i turned 18 for coming out as gay (held true when later i came out as nb) then i have a small upside down triangle & 3 little trees, i let my friend practice those on me for fun. i have ideas of course, i wanna go all out on this back tattoo i have planned. (3/4)

yikes i think your rambling may have triggered my rambling. i’ll consider coming off of anon to avoid this bc i feel bad 😅 and then maybe i wouldn’t have to dissect my side of the convo for the sake of a fucking character limit (4/4)

Alright, let me start by saying, please, keep rambling away. I don't mind it. I actually quite enjoy it if i'm being honest here.

I agree. Both with wanting to know someone thoroughly and with meeting amazing humans all over the internet. I have met such beautiful people online, so many good friends. I actually met two of my favourite people online. One, here. About ten years ago. And another one on instagram. So i'm all for meeting your people away from "real life". I have never met such lovely people in person. I've met all sorts of amazing souls, but the best are definitely were from all over the world.

I have to say, anon. This is one of the best compliments i could ever ask for. You like the vibe i give off. Means i do something right 😚

Lol! Listen, friend. I'm not opposed to showing my tattoos, trust me. And if you want to see them up close, you can always get off anon, get my address and come visit me 😉

LOVE your tattoos. And i can understand the coming out story. I've never had to come out to my family as a lesbian, but i'm struggling with gender and identity and i find it hard to speak to them about my non-binary identity. Now that i think about it, there is one special tattoo that was done in a whim of the moment. It's a little fucked up, come to think of it, but it says: "parce que je suis une femme" (because i'm a woman) coupled with me coming to terms with my slightly skewed non-binarity... well. It's difficult to explain.

Anon, let me be very clear here. You do what makes you feel safe. You don't have to get off anon if it doesn't feel right. I'd love to get to know you either way. You want to stay anon? please, i don't mind this type of conversation. Just know that if you do, i don't bite 😆 (well. I actually do. But only when asked nicely 😉)

Cmon, anon. Tell me something. Anything.

[redefining-normal]

Ask Me?

Tagged by Georgia so I am tagging @msmisty-eyed21 (sophie?)

Ask me these things!

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? Miles 2. Are you outgoing or shy? Bit of both depending who I’m with 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? Idk 4. Are you easy to get along with? I think so??? 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? Yeah 6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Guys that are dicks apparently 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Who knows?? 8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? idk 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? nah lol we all do it 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Jaidan or Mel?? 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “Cant wait to see your cute face” 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? iDK 13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? YES YES YES 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? ehh  15. What good thing happened this summer? I have no idea 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yes 17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Yes  18. Do you still talk to your first crush? No 19. Do you like bubble baths? Yes 20. Do you like your neighbors? NO 21. What are you bad habits? Overthinking 22. Where would you like to travel? everywhere 23. Do you have trust issues? yes 24. Favorite part of your daily routine? going to bed 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? boobs  26. What do you do when you wake up? Snooze my alarm 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Bit darker 28. Who are you most comfortable around? Jaidan 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Yep 30. Do you ever want to get married? maaaaybe 31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? yes 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? oooo leonardo dicaprio and ed sheeran hahahaha 33. Spell your name with your chin... 

vbsecca 34. Do you play sports? What sports? swimming???? 35. Would you rather live without TV or music? music 36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? yessss 37. What do you say during awkward silences? nothing because i like silence 38. Describe your dream girl/guy? nah lol 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? online shops 40. What do you want to do after high school? become a vet nurse 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? 42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? i am most likely very depressed 43. Do you smile at strangers? sometimes 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? outer space 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? seeing cats at work i guess 46. What are you paranoid about? life 47. Have you ever been high? no 48. Have you ever been drunk? hahaha yes  49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? now that would be telling 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? navy blue 51. Ever wished you were someone else? yup 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? mental health 53. Favourite makeup brand? nah 54. Favourite store? LUSH 55. Favourite blog? mine?? does that count 56. Favourite colour? blue 57. Favourite food? pizza/chicken 58. Last thing you ate? noodles 59. First thing you ate this morning? coco pops 60. Ever won a competition? For what? no 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? suspended for a day because i ran out of lesson?? 62. Been arrested? For what? nope 63. Ever been in love? yes 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? it was great 65. Are you hungry right now? nope 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? nah 67. Facebook or Twitter? twitter 68. Twitter or Tumblr? tumblr 69. Are you watching tv right now? yes 70. Names of your bestfriends? just jaidan she is the bomb 71. Craving something? What? nope 72. What colour are your towels? blue 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 6 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? no 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? idk 75. Favourite animal? cats 76. What colour is your underwear? blue?? 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? chocolate 78. Favourite ice cream flavour? 79. What colour shirt are you wearing? bubblegum

80. What colour pants? blue

81. Favourite tv show? KUWTK

82. Favourite movie? titanic 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? neither 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? neither 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? idk 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? nemo? duh 87. First person you talked to today? Holly 88. Last person you talked to today? Mum 89. Name a person you hate?  90. Name a person you love? Miles oops 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? yes 92. In a fight with someone? nope 93. How many sweatpants do you have? idk 94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? LOTS 95. Last movie you watched? mamma mia 96. Favourite actress? idk 97. Favourite actor? leonardo dicaprio 98. Do you tan a lot? nope 99. Have any pets? 3 cats and a rabbit BUT I WANT A HAMSTER 100. How are you feeling? shit 101. Do you type fast? yes as someone pointed out yesterday 102. Do you regret anything from your past? yup 103. Can you spell well? yes? 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? yep 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? yep 106. Ever broken someone’s heart? dont think so 107. Have you ever been on a horse? yes and never again  108. What should you be doing? being motivated 109. Is something irritating you right now? yes my life 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? YES YES YES 111. Do you have trust issues? yep (I'm sure this question was already here) 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Miles 113. What was your childhood nickname? Bex 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? yes 115. Do you play the Wii? not anymore 116. Are you listening to music right now? no 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? ehh 118. Do you like Chinese food? nope 119. Favourite book? not sure 120. Are you afraid of the dark? ehh 121. Are you mean? i hope not 122. Is cheating ever okay? no no no 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? yes 124. Do you believe in love at first sight? yes 125. Do you believe in true love? i think so 126. Are you currently bored? ehhh 127. What makes you happy? cats 128. Would you change your name? maybe 129. What your zodiac sign? Aquarius  130. Do you like subway? nope 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? talk about it? 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Jaidan or Mel? 133. Favourite lyrics right now? idk 134. Can you count to one million? no effort 135. Dumbest lie you ever told? idk 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? closed 137. How tall are you?5′1″ 138. Curly or Straight hair? curly 139. Brunette or Blonde? brunette 140. Summer or Winter? winter 141. Night or Day? night 142. Favourite month? december 143. Are you a vegetarian? nope 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? milk 145. Tea or Coffee? neither 146. Was today a good day? boring 147. Mars or Snickers? neither 148. What’s your favourite quote? “be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle” 149. Do you believe in ghosts? yes 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “i hate you” 

[bloonstuff]

92 Truths

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, choose however many people you want to tag! 

Thank you to the lovely @hjertetssunnegalskap for tagging me. <3

LAST...

[1] drink: Coke Zero.

[2] phone call: Bank.

[3] text message: ‘Dad is picking you up xo’ to my sister.

[4] song you listened to: You Are A Memory - Message To Bears

[5] time you cried: Last week.

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: Nope.

[7] been cheated on: Not that I know of.

[8] kissed someone and regretted it: Yes.

[9] lost someone special: Yes.

[10] been depressed: Yes.

[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: Twice.

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS:

[12] Blue.

[13] Purple

[14] Pink.

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

[15] made new friends: Yes. Skamily.

[16] fallen out of love: No.

[17] laughed until you cried: Probably.

[18] found out someone was talking about you: Not in a negative way.

[19] met someone who changed you: Yes. Skamily.

[20] found out who your true friends are: Yes. Especially in the last couple of weeks when I’ve been going through a difficult time.

[21] kissed someone on your Facebook list: I don’t think so.

GENERAL…

[22] how many of your tumblr friends do you know in real life: None. (Nobody that I’ve met through Tumblr). 

[23] do you have any pets: Yes. Two dogs, two cats and about ten snails.

[24] do you want to change your name: Yes. Something more gender neutral. I prefer going by Bloo though.

[25] what did you do for your last birthday: I don’t remember. Probably dinner with my family or perhaps visited the farm to pet animals.

[26] what time did you wake up: Around 1pm.

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: In bed scrolling Tumblr.

[28] name something you cannot wait for: To fall in love again.

[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: Around 30 mins ago.

[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I’d be better at friendships.

[31] what are you listening to right now: Saturn - Sleeping At Last

[32] have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes.

[33] something that is getting on your nerves: People who can’t have a civil discussion. I live for the discourse but have no time for name calling. 

[35] elementary: Uh, what?

[36] high school: Yep.

[37] college: Nope.

[38] hair colour: Dark brown.

[39] long or short hair: Short. Needs trimmed soon.

[40] do you have a crush on someone: I wish. (Fictional/Famous people don’t count...)

[41] what do you like about yourself?: My analytical mind. 

[42] piercings: None.

[43] blood type: Tf if I know.

[44] nickname: Bloo. 

[45] relationship status: Single af.

[46] zodiac sign: Taurus.

[47] pronouns: Whatever.

[48] fave tv show: Skam. Shadowhunters. The 100. Riverdale. The Vampire Diaries. Please Like Me. Degrassi. Emmerdale. Friday Night Lights. (These are just right now. I have so many more. I’ve probably forgotten some too).

[49] tattoos: None. I’m scared of needles but hopefully in the future.

[50] right or left handed: Right.

FIRST…

[51] surgery: At a few months old. On my neck.

[52] piercing: My ears.

[53] best friend: Moya. We were even in a book together and she won a young carer award. We also went to a Christmas party on Downing Street. 

[54] sport: I’ve never done sport but the first sport I was a fan of was ice hockey.

[55] vacation: Spain.

[56] pair of trainers: No idea.

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: Nothing. Just had steak and sweet potatoes though.

[58] drinking: Tea and Coke Zero.

[59] i’m about to: Procrastinate.

[60] listening to: Never Had - Oscar Isaac 

[61] waiting for: Inspiration and motivation to write.

[62] want: To fall in love.

[63] get married: Maybe.

[64] career: I don’t have one but I’d love to be a romance writer.

[65] hugs or kisses: Depends who it’s from. 

[66] lips or eyes: Lips.

[67] shorter or taller: Taller. Height before beauty. 

[68] older or younger: Usually younger. 

[69] romantic or spontaneous:  I don’t know?

[70] nice arms or nice stomach: Arms.

[71] sensitive or loud: A balance?

[72] hook up or relationship: I wish I could hook up but I’m more of a relationship person. 

[73] troublemaker or hesitant: A balance? Lol.

HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger? Nope.

[75] drank hard liquor? Yes.

[76] lost glasses/contact lenses? Yes. Currently can’t find a pair of my glasses.

[77] turned someone down: Yes.

[78] sex on first date? Nope. I’ve not really done ‘dating’. 

[79] broken someone’s heart? You’d have to ask them.

[80] had your own heart broken? Yes.

[81] been arrested? Nope.

[82] cried when someone died? Yes.

[83] fallen for a friend: Yes.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself? I believe I exist. Does that count?

[85] miracles? Not in the magical sense.

[86] love at first sight? Yes. Love is only a feeling. 

[87] santa claus? Yes. Santa is Christmas spirit. 

[88] kiss on the first date? Yes, I believe that kisses on first dates are a thing that exists. 

[89] angels? Nope.

OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: I don’t like naming things like this. It gives me anxiety. I hope they know who they are though. <3

[91] eye colour: blue

[92] favourite movie: I don’t believe in favourites. 

#i tag everyone that likes this stuff #tagged