#i guess im just sorta jealous the aboriginal folk all have a connection and sense of belonging to this land

[bengallemon]

belonging is such a weird thing.

i'm technically european, specifically dutch/scottish. i've lived in Australia my whole life, my parents have lived here their whole lives. I'm confident my grandparents have lived here their whole lives. my great-grandparents were the ones to migrate to australia.

for all intents and purposes, im australian. i don't have a bit of indigenous blood in me. i know nothing about my country, its people, its geography, or its wildlife and plants, especially its history.

ive grown up, especially now, seeing indigenous Australians constantly fight for the rights to their home and their culture. i listen to the welcome to country speeches during assemblies and gatherings.

i learned that during 2020 the indigenous people of the area of land I live on (that I've only been living on for almost 8 years), they were fighting for the removal of cairns dedicated to a pioneer that sentenced them to a horrible life and reality.

ive grown up hearing how the only people that are truly Australian are the indigenous people, because they have been here for so much longer than all of us. it's becoming so much more prominent and louder now that they are the first people. that's how they've been referred to so much in my education.

i dont know anything about the countries my great-grandparents all come from. i know the names, I know the nationalities. i know van diemen was the first one to actually discover australia.

it's kinda funny because it makes me realise I have no sense of belonging in either place. i don't have any connection to the land or people here in Australia, and I don't have any connection to anywhere in Europe, where all my ancestors are.

im just sorta... here? there is no place I feel connected to, and I want a place I can be connected to.

#lemon time #vent #?????? #i think???? #its been a time. #ive just been thinking about me and where I come from #its kinda funky #i guess im just sorta jealous the aboriginal folk all have a connection and sense of belonging to this land #i dont know if anyone else really feels or thinks like this #but i would love to be able to one day explore where I come from and get to know stuff #i mean i know someone whos a little similar #hes south african and was born there tho they moved down here #belonging and spiritual connections are strange #i dont have a real community here that I belong to #im a hermit who only really has a close group of friends #no extracurriculars and im very much an atheis #atheist*** i cant spell