#i got him waterproof Uno because he had a pool

[kittybug99]

I think it's important that elementary schoolers have embarrassing moments from time to time like barfing or sneezing and getting snot all over because that is how child-hood crushes die.

If my kindergarten crush hadn't barfed inside of his shirt in the 5th grade I'd probably still be pining over him.

#I literally had a crush on one guy from kindergarten until the day he barfed #and like in kindergarten i got invited to his birthday party because his mom felt bad for me #it was a sleepover #i got him waterproof Uno because he had a pool #I don't think he ever said two words to me #i think he had a lisp? #anyway it was like 80% humidity and we were running outside for gym class #and when were lined up to use the drinking fountains #he lifted up his shirt to cough in it #(also gross I hate when people cough in their shirts it's not sanitary use your elbow) #he barfed #like half inside his shirt #half outside #it was nasty #the teacher said #no wonder you all feel sick it's like running through a swimming pool outside #anyway I'm not really sure what my point was #but like childhood crushes need to get quashed somehow

[invaderdoom78]

Heehoo x GN Reader

Just a normal camping trip with your friends. Or is it?

“How much farther?” Wade asked as you, he, and Bob trekked through the forest that made up your backyard

“It’s just up ahead,” You said “where the creek water starts to pool”

“I didn’t need to waterproof my lunch did I?” Bob asked

“No,” You chuckled

“Good,” Bob said as the campsite came into view

You’d already set up the campsite before the two had gotten to your house so everything was ready to go.

“Look at the Eagle Scout over here,” Wade said setting down his backpack

“You’re welcome,” You said, rolling your eyes

“Yeah,” Bob said “I was not looking forward to setting up the tents. What do we do with the food?”

“Tie it in a tree I think,” Wade said, pulling the food he’d brought out of his bag

“Yeah,” You said grabbing the cooler you’d brought to keep the food in “put it in here. I bought a lock for it”

“Cool,” Wade said, looking through all the food that had been brought, “I thought you didn’t like Taki’s”

“Don’t worry about it” You said taking the bag from him, and tossing it into your tent

As you set up the food into the cooler Wade and Bob went out to gather firewood, coming back about fifteen minutes later with enough wood to keep you all warm for the night.

“How close are your neighbors?” Wade asked dropping his wood

“Not close,” You said

“Then we might want to keep an eye out then because I swear I saw someone out there”

“We’ll be fine” You assured, pulling the cooler into the tree

It was already getting dark by the time you got there so you all decided to use the last of the sunlight to play UNO.

“I hate you guys” Wade pouted as you finished up your last game

“Annus” A voice yelled out from somewhere in the forest

“What was that?” Bob asked

“Don’t worry about it” You said lighting the fire

“I am going to worry about it,” Wade said putting away the cards, “you think it was that guy?”

“Don’t worry about it”

“Why not?” Bob asked

“Because I come camping out here all the time and nothing’s happened yet,” You said as the fire began roaring

“Good,” Bob said with a sigh of relief

“Ok,” Wade asked, poking at the fire “who can see in the darkness?”

“Yeah,” Bob said grabbing a bag of marshmallows “who’s the ax murder?”

“Now why would the ax murderer give themselves up like that?” You asked

Both Bob and Wade gasped at you. After that s’mores were had everyone crawled into their tents and got as comfortable as they could in their sleeping bags. It took a while but eventually, all of you started falling asleep until Wade realized he needed to pee. Groaning he got up and left his tent as quietly as he could manage, sneaking behind a tree so he could relieve himself. As he was peeing he heard someone moving around the campsite; at first, he just thought it was Bob until he heard the grunting. Peaking around the edge of the tree Wade saw a naked man rummaging around the camp.

“Oh, shit!” Wade exclaimed

He was being no where as sneaky as he thought he was and Heehoo’s attention was immediately drawn to the tree, planning to investigate the sound when Bob stepped out of his tent for the same reason Wade had.

“Oh shit” Bob said falling back into the tent “Wade!”

“Bob” Wade said, leaving his hiding spot behind the tree

Growling Heehoo turned his attention to Wade, as he was the closest and was about to charge at him when Bob grabbed a thick stick from the wood pile and went to swing it at Heehoo, but he was able to grab it before Bob could do anything with it.

“Hey!” You exclaimed stepping out of you tent, getting everyones attention “enough of that”

“Y/N” Bob said, struggling to pull the stick away form Heehoo “get your tactical shovel”

“Oh just stop” You said, grabbing the matches so you could re-light the fire pit

Snarling at Bob and Wade Heehoo let go of the stick and came over to you; watching you as you poked at the embers to get them to spread to the fire. Both Bob and Wade looked at you in confusion, carefully shuffling their way to the opposite side of the pit; all the while Heehoo growled at them, leaning into your side, and resting his head on your shoulder

“The fuck, Y/N?” Bob asked, after a long stare down from Heehoo “why didn’t you tell us about him?”

“Yeah!” Wade chimed in

“I told you not to worry!” You said grabbing the bag of Taki’s you’d brought, handing it to Heehoo “here”

Taking the bag Heehoo nuzzled his face against yours before he opened up the bag, remaining leaned up against your side.

“I thought he was just a guy who got lost in the forest” Wade said indignantly “I didn’t think he was some feral wild man!”

“Does he... leave dead mice on your doorstep?” Bob asked

“He used to” You said, running your finger through Heehoo’s hair

“Gross” Wade winced at the mental image

“Has he been inside your house yet?” Bob asked

“The garage is the farthest I’ve managed to get him in, but only when the doors open” You sighed, silently lamenting on all of the disastrous attempts you’d made on trying to bring him inside “oh!” You pulled out your phone to show them a video you’d recorded “there’s also this”

The video you’d shown them was one you’d recorded of Heehoo trying to grab a bag of Taki’s, through your window, off of a table that was at least two feet away. All the while you were laughing at him in the background as he struggled to reach the bag.

“Heehoo, honey” You chuckled, stepping outside once Heehoo grabbed the bag “the doors open. You could have just come through it”

The video ended with Heehoo eyeing you as he “ate” the Taki’s he’d grabbed.

“Well” Bob started standing back up “this entire experience has been exhausting. I’m going back to bed” he shuffled back around the fire making sure to keep his distance from you and Heehoo

“Yeah” Wade said getting up as well

“Come on” You said, standing up before Heehoo followed you into your tent

“If any type of noise starts coming from that tent I am running” Wade said to Bob before they both stepped into their own tents

#markiplier #markiplier egos #in space with markiplier #unus annus #heehoo #heehoo x reader #heehoo x y/n #wade and bob