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#i feel like i'll soon become mad as well 😭
ifellinlovewithpersona ¡ 8 months
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Sorry if that blog is kinda boring lately (cuz I'm only reblogging art because that takes almost zero effort tbh) but I have so many research work for my masters thesis ( but not only for that) lately that I don't have any time to play any megaten game and when I DO have free time, I'm actually playing other cozy/relaxing/not needing that much effort/not making me stressed games (like sims 3/4 lol) or just watch some dumb things on youtube or anime to unwind (or just go straight to sleep) cause I'm so stressed 😭😭
I realized only 10 days left until my self-made deadline for finishing dds duology (I wanted to finish this game by halloween and start smt iv in halloween...) but I have so many research work that I'm working almost 24/7 lately (around 6 hrs in lab from mon-fri & then in home on computer) lol so idk if I'll be able to meet my own deadline for finishing this game lmaooo
I'm almost at the end of the game tho if anyone is wondering, I just.. don't have time (or energy) to finish. Hope that at least I'll finish it this year hahaha
So yeah, sorry if anyone is waiting for liveblog or wondering what is happening to me that I stopped liveblogging completely- yeah, I'm having just so many work that I have barely time to play anything 😭
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hwaslayer ¡ 4 months
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project: make you love me (jyh) | sixteen.
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♣︎ spotify playlist | series masterlist
—summary: yunho can’t stand how you’re so wrapped up in the notorious campus fuckboy, park seonghwa. he would gladly love you the way you deserve, despite being shy, awkward and the complete opposite of seonghwa. thus, when he finds himself spending more time with you over literature reviews and random study sessions, he decides to take on the challenge to win you over.
—pairing: jeong yunho x f. reader
—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers/friends to lovers, college au | fluff, angst, smut
—word count: 3.6k
—chapter content/warnings: cussing/mature language, seonghwa, physical fighting, mingi calling his friend out on his stupidity, crying, sorry if i missed anything.. quickly edited this lol, yunho is just mad and overwhelmed with his feelings rn 😭
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yunho: baby
yunho: wait at the science building later, please? i'll come get you so we can walk to my car together
you: okee ☺️
yunho: ☺️ see you later? enjoy the rest of your classes
you: you too, my bighead!
Yunho smiles at his phone before tucking it away, slowly following Yeosang to their group study session.
"Should I even ask why you're smiling like that?" Yunho looks up at Yeosang and chuckles.
"Just Y/N."
"Of course. Is she in class?"
"Yup. She's in the back row being all distracted."
"Perfect way to pass time in my honest opinion." Yeo clears his throat. "I've been meaning to ask you out of curiosity."
"What's up?"
"Have you guys told each other 'I love you' and everything?" 
"Mm, no. Not yet at least."
"Not yet?" Yeosang smiles. "You feel that way for her, don't you?"
"I do. I just.. I don't know? I don't know if it's too soon. What if I scare her off?"
"Nah, doubt that. You can't put a timer on these things."
"True. Plus, it sounds clichĂŠ and like it's out of a movie, but I truly wanna wait 'till it feels right to say it to her."
"That makes sense."
"Trust me, I really do feel that way for her." He lets out a breath as they look towards the library building, the sun from behind slightly blinding them as they approach the doors. "She has literally become my bestfriend. It's crazy how life works."
"I know. I remember when you first told me you were helping her out for literature." Yeosang chuckles. "Or when you'd save her in the back lot."
"Still can't believe that was even real." Yunho does a tiny head tilt. "He's really something."
"What was up with Y/N's birthday thing? How did he even know?"
"I don't know. Word gets around fast. Why wouldn't Seonghwa know? Especially since it has to do with Y/N."
"Can't wait till the day he leaves you two alone. Must be fucking annoying to deal with."
"I try not to mind it. Though, I think he's been getting bolder lately and I can't put my finger on it."
"Has Y/N said anything?" He shakes his head.
"No. Maybe I'm just overthinking. She just seemed a little weird about him at her birthday party."
"Well, yeah. It's Seonghwa." Yeosang waves at their study group sitting at the far end of the library in the loud section.
"Yeah, but, I don't know. It was different. She seemed bothered about something but she hasn't told me anything. I assume it's not a big deal."
"Hm. Well, I'm sure it's not either. Just Seonghwa being himself, maybe."
"Mm, whatever though." Yunho greets the study group as they approach the table. "She's my girlfriend now, and that won't change." Yeosang gives him a small smile before they settle with the group and begin their long study session together.
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"Remember, we have a test next class. Make sure you study everything I included in the study guide. Don't skip on anything just because you think it's a minor detail! Nothing is minor!" Your professor says before dismissing the class. You let out a sigh, already stressing over the next test. You didn't do bad on the first test, but you also didn't do the greatest. Thankfully, you're still at a good point in the semester, which gives you enough time to pull your grade up.
Once the initial rush of people leaving the classroom dies down, you pack up your things and head out the door. You hurry out of the classroom and down the steps, excited to see your boyfriend after yet another long day. For a split second, the building is crowded with other students leaving their classes and heading to their next destination— whether it be the next class, the library or to their cars. It's a sudden swarm of people that you don't even realize Seonghwa had stepped out of his own class, following you down the corridor.
"Y/N." You hear Seonghwa's voice behind you. You try to mind your own business, subtly rolling your eyes as you walk out of the science building to reunite with Yunho. 
Except, he isn't exactly there yet and Seonghwa grabs you by the wrist.
"Y/N." He repeats, turning you to face him.
"What are you doing?" You question him.
"Just a second." You let out a loud, heavy sigh. "Why are you being like this?"
"Like what?"
"Like you ignoring me. You haven't answered any of my texts or calls—"
"Why do I need to?" You raise a brow. "You're not actually serious, right? I have no reason to respond to you, Seonghwa. Don't you have places to be, people to see?" You pause. "Don't you realize you're a little too late? This was something I needed from you way before. I don't need it from you now."
"I know it's late, but I don't wanna give up on this."
"This? This has been done for a long time, you and I both know that. You're only worried about losing the only safety blanket you've ever had. Why can't you just move on and let me be happy?"
"Happy?" Seonghwa almost scoffs. "With him? Okay, baby." He shakes his head. "Listen. Enough of this for real. Can you please just hear me out, I'll explain and apologize properly—"
"Seonghwa, stop calling me that. What don't you understand about no?" You say almost at a whine, his hand still having a grip on the edge of your wrist. You truly don't want to entertain this, but Seonghwa almost gives you no way out, no way around his bullshit, and unfortunately, that'll be the root of everything that unfolds tonight. Yunho is happily [and eagerly] making his way down to you after the long, heavy study group session, while Yeosang decides he's gonna stay behind in order to hit the gym and get his workout in. Yunho is a few minutes late, but he knows you'll still flash him that beautiful, million-watt smile he adores so much before wrapping your arms around him.
He can't wait.
But, Yunho slows in his steps just as he's close to the front doors; familiar voices filling the surprisingly empty, quiet space.  It's you, and he already feels himself boiling with anger when he hears who else is occupying your time right now.
"Why haven't you even said anything about the flowers and the card I gave you? Did you even get them?" Yunho overhears Seonghwa ask you, and he furrows his brows. What flowers and card? You don't answer right away, and Seonghwa is quick to follow up. Yunho doesn't even get to hear your response about it and the most upsetting part of all this— is that this is how he finds out about everything.
Not from you, but from Seonghwa.
"You couldn't even send me a text? I was worried you didn't get it. I wanted to talk to you afterwards."
"What is there to talk about?"
"Yeah, what is there to talk about?" You and Seonghwa turn towards Yunho, who stands there with his hands dug deep into his pockets. His jaw is slightly clenched, head titled to the side while he waits for a response. Seonghwa lets out a pathetic chuckle, hand slipping down your wrist as he fully faces him.
"Loverboy sounds upset over a little talk."
"A little talk? Is that an add-on for the flowers and card you sent her?" Yunho sounds more stern, more angry. You can't even blame him, but at the same time, it's unusual for you to hear him this way. You're not sure what could come out of this and you don't necessarily want to find out.
"I'm sorry, should I have sent you some, too?" Seonghwa steps closer to him and the panic starts to settle in for you. You wish someone, anyone, was around to help. Because although you don't think Yunho will let this blow out of proportion, you aren't 100% about your answer. You're not sure how Yunho manages his anger in these situations and you're not sure what triggers him; what tips him over the edge and is the 'cherry on top.' Seonghwa has always rubbed him the wrong way and you don't think this could end remotely pretty. "I'll take note of that for next time so you don't have to sit there and stare at Y/N's."
How you wish Seonghwa had just gotten the point. Why couldn't he just let you be? Why was he out to ruin your happiness so badly?
"Seonghwa. This is done. Let it go." You warn him, but it doesn't clear anything. You aren't getting through to any of them.
"Back up. I'm not asking." Yunho clenches his jaw as he comes face to face with Seonghwa, making him give off a small scoff.
"Aw. Loverboy's mad—" And that's exactly the tipping point for Yunho. He's not sure why, he usually has a lot of patience. He usually brushes things off easily, doesn't hold a grudge or stay angry for long. But, Seonghwa? He was a different story, especially because of the history you have with him. Every little thing about Seonghwa pisses him off— down to the way he moves, breathes, acts like he can always get his way so easily, so quickly. Before he can even think about the consequences, or how you'd feel, Yunho swings at him, making Seonghwa stumble backwards. 
"Yunho!—" You gasp, Yunho's initial punch is pretty rough that it had Seonghwa in shock before being able to register what just happened.
"Fuck you—" Is all Seonghwa spits out before going at Yunho. The two continue to go at it, pushing and gripping at each other's shirts, rough attempts at landing punches;
They're almost successful with tearing each other's heads off until you step in between and get involved.
"Stop!" You step in between to try and prevent the fight from escalating even more. "Stop it!" You push Seonghwa back when he tries coming for Yunho, a campus security guard dashing towards all of you to completely break up the scuffle.
"Knock it off! The hell are you two doing acting like this on campus? I suggest you two part ways now before we call the cops over!"
"Yo, what the fuck?!" Mingi comes from around the corner, grabbing at Seonghwa's arm to pull him back. "The fuck are you doing, dude?" He looks at his bestfriend in disbelief.
"Why don't you ask your friend who fucking started it—"
"Me?" Yunho spits, while Seonghwa wipes the blood at the corner of his lip. "I wouldn't have had to if you just knew how to back the fuck off!" Yunho is angry, continuing to raise his voice. "Let me catch you sending shit to my girlfriend one more time and see what the fuck I'll do—" 
"Yunho." You say softly, tugging back at his arm.
"Are you serious?" Mingi looks at Seonghwa. "You don't go messing around with people's relationships, Hwa. You need to let this go, you look crazy!" 
"Oh, so all of a sudden you're sticking up for your friend?"
"Yeah, because he is my friend and it's just shit you don't do! What the fuck don't you understand about that?! You fucking deserved that shit!" Mingi shakes his head before pushing Hwa forward, pulling him off to the side to continue talking to him. 
"Babe." You turn to Yunho after Mingi and Seonghwa create good distance, hand coming up to cup Yunho's cheek. But, he turns, slightly shaking his head at you. You pull your hand back and feel your heart drop, the look in Yunho's eyes being one that you've never experienced before.
Sadness, hurt, anger. 
Mostly sadness, hurt.
"What flowers was he talking about, Y/N?" His chest is still rising at a somewhat uneven pace, doing his best to calm down after the adrenaline rush.
"H-he left them at my doorstep after we came back from the snow. I'm really sorry, Yunho, I didn't tell you because I tossed it out and—"
"But still, it's the fact that you didn't tell me after all this time." Yunho's brows are tightly knitted together, and the look causes your heart to sink even deeper. "Why did you have to let me find out this way? Were you going to tell me about this too if I hadn't come right away?"
"I just didn't get around to telling you because I didn't think it would matter— Seonghwa doesn't matter."
"If he didn't, then wouldn't you be able to tell me without questioning it so much?"
"Yunho, no. I'm sorry, no." You repeat, tears pricking your eye lids. "I didn't mean for it to seem like that. I really didn't mean to hide this from you."
"Did you think about keeping them?"
"I—I, no. I thought—" Yunho hears you stuttering and his throat suddenly feels dry. Why can't you just tell him? Even if Seonghwa didn't matter to you, why couldn't you trust him enough to tell him? 
Why couldn't you feel comfortable enough to tell him?
"Be honest with me, Y/N. That's all I've ever asked. Did you or did you not think about it keeping it?" Silence. And god, it is the most gut-wrenching silence Yunho has ever endured.
Yup. Got it. 
The answer is clear.
You did think about Seonghwa. You thought about accepting the flowers as his apology, you thought about the possibility— even if it was for a brief, splitting second. Seonghwa did matter for one fucking second, and that's what bothers him.
"Yunho, please. I just thought—" You can barely get through your sentences.
"Did you, or did you not?"
"I thought about keeping it, but it was so stupid. I was just blinded for a second, and I realized it didn't matter to me. He doesn't matter to me. At all. I promise. Everything just caught me off guard." You try to grab for his hand but he steps back. "Yunho, it was all stupid. I tossed it out so quickly. I wasn't going to do anything, I wasn't going to text, nothing."
"But, why does it feel like after everything he's put you through, you still believe he'd genuinely change? Why does it feel like a part of you is still actually holding onto that?" Well, when Yunho says it to your face like that, you feel dumb. Not once did you ever think about running back to Seonghwa and leaving this behind. But, you were blinded in that quick second from your history with Hwa, being close and sharing moments for months. Asking Seonghwa for little gestures like this, for more attention; even though it was a ride, you still had history.
And yes, maybe at one point you wanted to be the girl that changed him.
But today, you can't even imagine going back to that point. Not after being with Yunho, not after the happiness he's brought you.
Not after you realize how much you genuinely and truly love Yunho. 
You don't wanna lose him.
This is all so stupid, and a huge misunderstanding. But, you're the only person to blame here— if you hadn't given Seonghwa the time of day, if you had just told Yunho right away without second-guessing it, if you hadn't hesitated; you wouldn't be here right now.
"I'm not!" Your tone raises and it sounds like a whine at this point. "I'm not, Yunho. Please."
"Look, tonight was a lot." He sighs, running his hand through his hair before wincing and looking down at his knuckles. "I was excited to see you after a long day, Y/N. I was really looking forward to being with you. I wasn't expecting all of this and honestly, I don't know what's worse? Stumbling upon all of this the way I did, or not knowing at all."
"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. It was stupid and fucked up of me, and I'm sorry." You repeat, tears streaming down your cheeks.
"Maybe you just need to think about what you really want." Yunho shrugs. "I thought you were over the whole thing with Seonghwa, but clearly not if you're still considering on giving him the time of day."
"No, no, Yunho. Please don't. It's not that." You try to lace your hand with his, but he gently brushes it off with a shaky sigh. He doesn't wanna leave you. He never wants to be without you. But, tonight was a lot for him to handle, and it is overwhelming. He hasn't really felt this protective over someone. Of course, it's only natural since you're his girlfriend. He'll always protect you. It's just that Seonghwa brings something out of him that he doesn't necessarily like, and he wants it to be gone for good. It feels unhealthy and icky;
The anger, the frustration, the anxiety.
He hates it. And he doesn't want this to be a thing in your relationship. Plus, he still feels himself fuming with anger and he just can't possibly talk to you while he feels that way.
So yes, he's overwhelmed and he needs to get over this.
"No, seriously. You really should think about it. I know where I stand but I'm not so sure you do." He lets out another disappointed sigh. "I'll take you home, but we should probably just be in our own places tonight."
"Okay." You say close to a whisper, sniffling as you wipe away at your face. You don't even try to fight it anymore simply because you know Yunho needs his space right now. He begins to walk off with you slowly trailing behind, head hung low after everything that happened tonight. Everything happened so fast you're also having to process it all on this walk over to the lot. Suddenly, you're pulled out of your thoughts when you hear footsteps picking up behind you, followed by a familiar, deep voice.
"Yo, wait up!" Mingi says. "You good? I'm sorry about him, he's actually losing it."
"You're sorry? Mingi, when the fuck is your friend gonna grow up so that you're not apologizing on his behalf?" Mingi lets out a breath as his eyes dart from you, back to Yunho's. "Seriously. I don't mean to throw that your way, but it's not even just about tonight. Your friend knows no boundaries and that's crazy to me."
"I know, he's got things to sort through but that's his own problem now. I already told him multiple times. Me and San did." Mingi shakes his head.
"Doesn't take much to grow the fuck up and take ownership of your own fuck-ups once in awhile."
"Let him keep learning the hard way. He will, eventually. He deserved that tonight."
"He can try all he wants, nothing's gonna change between me and her. Hope he understands I'm not going anywhere after tonight."
"Of course." Is all Mingi could respond with because of course Yunho wouldn't go anywhere— why the fuck would he let Seonghwa get in the way? He shouldn't. And Seonghwa needs to know that. "Anyway, just wanted to see if you two were okay. For real." Yunho sighs.
"Mmyeah. Thanks." He responds as Mingi daps it up. "We're just gonna head home."
"Drive safely. Text me if you need me." Mingi gives you a small smile before running off to tend to his friends, San now also getting dragged into all his mess. 
The walk over is quiet, but Yunho still opens the passenger door for you when you finally get to his car. You hate the silence that falls between you two, but you understand Yunho is upset and needs his own time away from everything, from you, even. You can't help but cry even more into your hands when he pulls into the apartment lot, Yunho letting out a breath as he puts the car in park. He looks over at you and his heart breaks because he truly hates to see you cry, and he never wants to be the reason behind you being sad or hurt.
"Hey. Don't." He says softly, hands coming up to pry your own hands away from your face. He gently wipes the tears away, making sure no drop is missed. 
"I'm sorry, Yuyu." You repeat.
"I know, it's okay."  He says, even though right now, it's not.
"Is it?"
"Let's get you home, okay?" He just looks at you with a soft expression before unbuckling his seatbelt. He comes over to open your door, locking his car when you step out and slowly make your way to your apartment. When you get to the steps, you turn towards him with a small pout. Yunho pulls you into a hug and kisses the top of your head, wiping any remaining stragglers from staining your cheeks. He's not happy, but he's trying to send you off on a calm note— hoping this could at least ease you for the night. "Get some rest."
"I'll see you tomorrow, right?" He doesn't say anything before he pulls away and takes a few steps backwards. "Yunho." You call for him in that tone of yours that always makes him so weak.
"Y/N, please. I just need to shake this off. That's all. Goodnight." All you can do is simply walk away before running up the steps and into your apartment. Chaery is the only one home, cleaning her dishes after cooking a good meal for all of you to share.
"My love is home! I cooked!" She says happily, but her smile dies when she sees you set your bags down and cry into your hands. She drops everything and rushes over, throwing her arms around you while guiding you to the couch. "Hey, what's wrong? What happened?" She brushes the hair away from your face while you continue to cry. You don't respond for a bit, signaling for Chaery to just hold you and let you be.
You cry, and you cry.
Because you already miss Yunho, and you feel so dumb for overthinking the entire thing, for not being honest with him. It was a stupid mistake, but you hope Yunho knows you truly weren't out to hurt him. 
You hope he can forgive you and move past this— with you, together.
Because today and so on, he's all you want. You love Yunho, and there's no one else that completes you the way that he does.
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cannellee ¡ 7 months
Note
I really love your Tokyo Revengers a/b/o-verse very much and there’s smth about it that’s satisfying.
If possible would it be ok for you to write head canons of Draken being the alpha is in a relationship with two sweet omega’s who’s Emma and Reader. I thought that this would be very interesting to look at!
Here’s some ideas…
- An A/O/O relationship in which one Omega (Emma Sano) is very anxious and gets depressed a lot when left alone so the Alpha suggests adding another Omega to the relationship so they won’t be as lonely anymore when the Alpha is busy. Both agreeing but being nervous as the Alpha tries to find an Omega that they think will be suitable and quickly becoming attached to a very sweet and cheerful Omega (the reader) …the Alpha being thrilled when their current Omega forms an immediate attachment to the new mate that they chose
- An A/O/O relationship and whenever one Omega (Reader) gets mad at the Alpha, the other Omega (Emma) almost always takes their side because they are extremely sensitive to their Omega mate’s distress and they get very upset with the Alpha for making them unhappy
Source copied from: https://www.tumblr.com/omegaversethings/154244909092/poly-relationship-headcanons (Im also new to the a/b/o-verse so that’s why I had to look through some sources so plz forgive me 🙏)
TOKYO REVENGERS OMEGAVERSE ★
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୨୧ alpha! Draken x omega! Reader x omega! Emma
— tokyo revengers a/b/o headcanons (if it's too long you can start reading after the cut, the first part is not necessary to understand the rest of the fic)
my masterlist : ☆
(I love this request so much! I hope you like it!! btw I'm sorry for the long wait😭 I'll also probably do something similar in the future bc I'm not satisfied with what I wrote, but the idea is just so cute!!)
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emma and draken have been in a relationship over a year now.
draken was the one who started courting a very impatient emma and soon after they became inseparable.
both were very happy, a clear dynamic had settled between them.
emma had finished high school and planned to definitely stop her studies to focus on herself and her relationship, while draken worked at his bike shop the day and often participated in gang's meetings at night.
as emma's alpha, draken vowed to provide for his omega the most he could and to protect her until the very end.
he is very dedicated and takes care of emma the best he can.
that's why he rarely comes home, he's so focused on making sure he can guarantee emma's well being, making enough money she won't have to work herself.
and emma understands that, she's really moved by her alpha's motives, she's glad draken is here to cater for her.
but emma's stressed, she gets anxious rather easily and not having her alpha around most of the day is hard. especially since she spends most of her time alone.
sure she goes out a bit, sees some of her friends, but nothing can compares with a few hours with draken.
she desperately feels lonesome and out of things. her alpha wasn't there when she needed it and draken's absence, no matter how noble his intentions were, took a toll on emma's mood.
it didn't go unnoticed by draken though.
he was coming back from the shop, emma didn't know exactly when but only that it was pitch black outside, his hands black and greasy from fixing bikes. his white clothes only showed how hard he was working for the both of them, and this thought alone made emma feel even worse for unconsciously blaming draken's.
she knew he was doing all of that for her. draken never cared for anything else more than her.
when draken stepped inside, a sour smell straight away invaded his nostrils. so used to his sweet omega's flowery and sugary scent, he was stunned.
he immediately dropped all of his belongings and followed the scent that he was sure belonged to emma, worried sick and hoping nothing bad happened to her.
when he saw her, curled up in a messy nest, curtains and windows closed despite the heat and the horribly distressed smell she was emitting, draken's eyes softened and he relaxed a bit knowing she was there.
he approached slowly, making his presence known as to not alert his omega any further and spread his own pheromones. he hoped that would appease emma.
he then called her name quietly and carefully caressed her head. he took his time comforting her, making sure she knew he was here and was not planning on leaving her anytime soon.
and when she felt better and her crying had stopped, draken urged her to spill everything she's been bottling up. his instincts were screaming at him to resolve and fix anything that was wrong in his sweet omega's life.
and when she did, draken's whole world went crashing down. he hated not taking care better of his omega who eagerly needed him, he thought he had done everything right. sadly, he couldn't just suppress some of his work hours ; he had to make sure emma could count on him in terms of incomes, make sure he could feed her, assure her a roof and a stable life.
he was torn apart and couldn't come up with a conclusion that would satisfy his omega. draken who was ordinarily so composed and thoughtful couldn't stop his brain from fidgeting.
upon hearing his mate crying, draken came out with a solution. he didn't know whether this would please emma and he wasn't sure himself if his idea was going to work anyways.
if his omega was so lonely, what's better than a new companion? he carefully explained his thoughts, that he was busy and that it wouldn't change, no matter how much he wished he could spend his days clinging to his omega.
emma didn't appear offended, they both had often brought up adding someone to their little pack and she seemed to be seriously considering this idea.
though hesitant at first, she agreed and asked draken to find a suitable omega for them...
══════════ ⋆★⋆ ══════════
when draken first met you, you were visiting the bike shop he was working at, hoping to find a few pieces to fix your brother's motorbike.
you looked absolutely clueless and shyly asked draken to help you out.
he was tall, and strong and exuded a really strong aura that made your knees tremble.
to say draken was definitely your type is an understatement, in fact, he probably was everything you were looking for in an alpha.
you ending up with emma and draken was due to a serie of unexpected events, leading you to coincidentally meeting draken multiple times in the streets and chatting for a bit, before eventually meeting his omega, emma.
she was the sweetest and you guys clicked instantly. sharing the same interests and tastes, you found out you both had a lot in common.
you found yourself hanging out with her more often, with draken or not, depending on his work days.
draken noticed a change in emma not long after you started hanging out. uncharacteristically of her, she reached out to you and initiated your outings. having a friend to fill her lonely days seemed to lift up her mood considerably.
her alpha was so relieved to see such a change in her. his worries persisted, but he knew it was only a matter of time before you completely healed emma.
he was glad he found you and emma was ecstatic each time he mentioned your name, becoming more and more enthusiastic when the three of you met up.
the more you guys met, the more draken and emma knew you were the perfect match for them.
and now you & emma were practically always together.
wherever you went, you could be sure emma was as well. she was not leaving you anytime soon.
you guys spent most of your days inside, cuddling with each other and draken would always fondly watch the scene, happy with how well you suited each other.
emma and you were now the 2 most precious people for him, and he was glad you were there for one another. now he didn't feel as guilty for leaving you so often and knew you had each other to rely on0.
now your daily life is filled with warmth, laughter and a lot of cuddles.
draken loves scenting you both and emma especially likes it when you smell just like her. now draken has put his claim on the both of you and you couldn't be happier.
when you guys are cuddling, you're either in draken's soft embrace while emma is attached to his side, or you're emma's little spoon while draken is hugging her.
in those moments your pheromones are all mixing up to form one single scent that emma can't get enough of. she's purring so loudly and draken is just releasing the best protective pheromones you could ask for. it makes you feel so safe!
the softness of it all reminds you of your first couring gifts. you had learned emma was very strict during the courting process, she didn't let draken give you anything that didn't get her approval ; she wanted to impress you and show you that they were perfect for you & could make you happy!
emma knows how to sew, so she made you all sorts of things. from clothes to blankets, you can't even count the amount of gifts the both gave you.
even now, emma gifts you all sort of things all the time.
when the three of you are out, emma is usually grabbing at your arm and guiding you wherever. you both don't have a care in the world when draken has been scenting you for a few minutes before going out and especially since he's right behind you looking all big and menacing. he's your private guard dog and nobody even dares looking your way.
now you and emma rarely get into arguments, you both nag a little but that's about it.
however, it's a different story when draken is involved.
you remember the day of your 1st anniversary, you went out to a fancy restaurant to celebrate it. but draken had to ruin it all and leave early because of work >:(
the moment he came home after finishing his urgent matters, he was excluded from your nest and couldn't join you.
you made him sleep on the couch and forgave him a few days later after countless of apologies and gifts from him.
emma is always one to follow you no matter what.
the day draken forgot to bring home your favourite snack while you were the most sick you ever were, your scent had never been this sour.
looking back, it was a bit exaggerated but your sick state made you more sensitive than usual!
your displeased pheromones made emma upset as well and she nagged draken for you since you weren't able to.
her solidarity with you is unbreakable and you love that about her.
a life with the both of them is indeed hectic but they take such good care of you. your mates are so devoted you wouldn't trade them for anything <3
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alittleobsessedbitch ¡ 2 months
Text
Shocker || E.L x Reader
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Warnings; Fluff? Cheating, profanities, idk
Summary; You have the most perfect girlfriend in the world, you think. You figure out that your girlfriend was cheating on you, with Ethan Landry. You guys become best friends, knowing it was neither of your guy's fault. Hanging out with you had made Ethan catch feelings.
A/N; Hi! This is the story idea I had that you guys begged me to write. 😭 Me being the lovely person I am, I GOCHU. I hope you enjoy this!!!! 🫡🫶
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Being bisexual can be hard for people, but not for you. You have the best girlfriend anyone could possibly ask for! She is literally the definition of perfect.
Speaking of your girlfriend, you pull out your phone to message her. Asking to hangout.
You - Babe, can we hangout? I miss you. -12:56
Leah❤️ - Awh, I'm busy right now. How bout in an hour? -12:58
You - Yayy! I'll see you soon! ☺️ -12:58
"Yes!!" You celebrate, throwing your fist in the air as if winning a battle. It had been such a long time since you've seen her. Your heart flutters at the thought of her. You throw your phone next to you on your bed and sit up.
"MINDYYYYYY!!" You yell. Yes, you were indeed Mindy Meek's roommate. You both like girls, both hate a majority of the world. Perfect fit!
"YES Y/N?" Mindy yells back. You ignore her knowing she'll be in your door way any second.
"Yes?" She asks, now in your door way. "Can you pick out an outfit for me?" She groans, still saying yes. She runs over to your closet, grabbing a shirt and sweatpants. She throws them at you and you go to thank her but she shushes you.
"Thank me later, I put on a movie." She says as she spins and walks back out of your room. You laugh and roll your eyes, changing into the fresh clothing.
You slip on a pair of white tall socks and then your shoes. Grabbing your phone off your bed and walking into the living room. You take a seat on the couch and scroll through your phone.
Every few seconds you look at the time. You still had an hour until you could go over, which in your opinion, felt like an eternity. She wouldn't be mad if you came early, right? Probably not. And you do have a spare key.
You decide to just go, already being ready. Sliding off the couch, you grab your keys from the TV stand.
"Bye Minds!" You say as you blow Mindy a kiss. She waves, pretending to catch the kiss and bring it to her chest.
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The drive to your girlfriend's was short, only being five minutes or so. You were so excited you could feel electricity shooting through your body. When you pulled into a random parking spot you immediately got out of your car and locked it, running into the apartment building.
"3rd floor.." You muttered to yourself as you walked into the elevator and pressed the 3rd floor button. The elevator arrived and you took a deep breath, trying to calm your excitement. You stood in front of her door and unlocked it, walking down the hallway to the living room.
"What the fuck?" Your eyes widen as the only words that came to mind fell out of your mouth. Your girlfriend, YOUR fucking girlfriend on the lap of Ethan Landry's. Kissing his lips numb. The surprised girl jumps off Ethan's lap. Ethan stares at you, no clue in the world what was happening.
"Y/N.." Leah whispers. Your eyes are still wide, tears begining to occupy them. "No," You say, your voice just above a whisper. "Babe, fuck. It's not what it looks like." Leah pleads. Ethan's eyes widen as well. "Babe?" He questions.
You nod. Ethan stands, shaking his head. "Leah what the hell?" He turns to you. "Fuck Y/N, I had no idea-" You put your hand up. "It's fine Ethan."
You point to Leah, tears finally streaming down your pink cheeks.
"We're done."
You try to make your voice bitter, shoving your emotions down, your voice still slightly cracking. Leah stays quiet, knowing she has done enough damage.
Ethan nods his head, as if agreeing with you. "Yeah, Leah. We're done too." He says. You wanted to laugh at his awkwardness, but your body was taken over by anger. Anger and sadness.
"Don't call my phone, don't even talk to me." You yell as you turn and leave, walking out the door and to the elevator. You can hear footsteps behind you, thinking it's Leah you ignore them. A hand lands on your shoulder, causing you to turn around.
"Leah-" You begin to say, Ethan's doe eyes meet yours, immediately calming you down. "Y/N, I'm sorry." He says, bringing you into a hug. His arms wrapping around your lower back. You take no time to wrap your arms around him, shoving your face into the crook of his neck, sobbing your heart out.
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Since the hug, you hung out as much as you could, having picnics, gas station trips, studying for tests, movie nights. Though it was awkward sometimes, you made the most of it and had fun. Ethan on the other hand had more fun than you. He would send you SO many warnings that he liked you. I mean he stared at you in the most loving way, cuddled you, held your hand. IT WAS SO OBVIOUS. You were so oblivious to him which made him hopeless, but that didn't make him stop.
He loved getting close to you, making your breath hitch and tint your cheeks. Your eyes would close and it would make Ethan laugh. It angered you but oh how he loved it. The next time you both hung out, he would do something different.
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You were sitting on the couch in your apartment, watching a movie. Ethan sat right next to you, practically on top of you. Neither of you minded though, enjoying each other's presence.
"Hey Ethan?" You ask. He hums, eyes still stuck on the screen. "Thank you." You say quietly. "—For the whole Leah thing. And not being upset." He turns to you and smiles.
"It wasn't your fault." You nod slowly as he leans closer. Your noses almost touching. Your breath catches in your throat, not being able to stop yourself from leaning towards him and brushing your noses together.
"I could never be mad at you." He whispers. You couldn't take it. You lean in fully, closing the gap. Your lips on his, feeling as if this is how it should have been since the beginning. The movie was long forgotten, making this moment about you and Ethan.
It was silly to think about it. Now you were the one kissing his lips numb.
Shocker.
@a1exxq @cyan1decandy @sflame15-blog
96 notes ¡ View notes
darkbluekies ¡ 1 year
Text
Silas asks #1
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Next one
Concept: I've put multiple asks into one post to avoid too much loose posts on my account! This way, you have more to read too<3
Warnings: mentions of death, suicide, breaking the reader, guns, yandere
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— What would Silas do if we died?
He would break down. You're the reason why he lives, why he breathes. His work is unforgiving and cold. You're his light in the darkness. This man would probably not be able to take it. The loneliness would kill his spirit until finally a bullet took care of the rest of him.
"I'm coming, Y/N, don't worry. You don't have to be scared. I'll be there soon."
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— Hiii! Sorry if this is too dark just feel free to ignore it but how do you think silas would act if darling slowly breaks and k*lls theirselves why he was away
Oh God. He'd feel so horrible. He'd blame himself. As stated in the ask above, Silas would probably not be able to live without you. He needs you to feel the slightest bit of human and if you're not here, then why bother trying?
"I'm sorry, Y/N ... but don't be mad at me. I will fix everything. We'll live together after death. And there I'll take good care of you — better than ever."
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— Hello!! I was wondering how would Silas react if reader asked one of those stupid questions like ‘would you still love me if I were a worm?
He'd laugh and throw a pillow at you.
"Why are you always asking me such silly questions, baby? Where do you even get these from?"
He'd hug you tightly, tickle you and nibble playfully at your skin. If you laugh, he'd break out into the most beautiful smile.
"I'd love you even if you were a four eyed monster with tentacles. Duh. I adore you, baby. Besides, you're not getting rid of me that easily. Love you."
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— I loved Silas and reader on valentines day, imagine reader eating like a pig though 😂 Especially if they ordered spaghetti
It wouldn't matter!!! You were the only ones in the restaurant, and Silas would probably already be used to your sloppy eating. If any of the waiters looked at you though ... that's a different story.
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— omg can we please get more of silas breaking reader like idk why but i love that fic sm😭
If you men breaking as in "Let's throw the darling into the basement until they become obedient" then I'm sure we can make it work!! :]
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— I don't have an Achilles heel, I hate my parents and "friends" guts, kiss my sociopathic poop, Silas (⁠´⁠ε⁠`⁠ ⁠)
Well, you got to have something???? Silas will win
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having-conniptions ¡ 11 months
Text
Love In The Air episode 5 live reaction under the cut (long post)
Awwww Payu is checking if Rain got sick OHMYGOD HOW MANY HICKEYS CAN A GUY- awwwwww little forehead kiss <3
And Payu with his hair down AAAAA
At least Rain is finally getting some sleep
"I was gonna flirt then dump him, but willingly became his instead" AYYYYYYYY
MOM ALERT
"I don't get why architecture students study so hard." Rain, under his breath: "Do something else hard, more like" BOYYY HAHAHAHA
And he's borrowing Payu's sweater 😭❤️
RAIN'S ABSOLUTELY DELIGHTED FACE WHEN HE SEES PAYU WORKING OUT TOPLESS AND SWEATY
Ohhh is Payu gonna be mad? Worried? Mad about being worried?
Meeting the mom so soon huh?
Yeah he's mad cause he's worried
And he's getting a little controlling idk what to think of this
"Are you ready to be punished?" You guys just made up so I'm gonna assume you mean in a sexy way
Was not expecting "fever reducer. Rectal suppository." HELP I'M DYING HAHAHA
Oh no Rain don't call for your mom what if she actually comes in huh
Annnnd there she is with snacks. Rain under the covers thinking "don't be suspicious, don't beeeee suspicious" while Payu plays it cool - I bet he already got Rain's pants off and that's why Rain is hiding like that lol
Payu is such a smooth talker
Yup, pants were off. This was not the scene I expected but it was the scene I needed lmao
Prapai!!!! He's sooooooooo
"I was gonna ask about the cutie's friend. But it's okay. I can wait for Payu. Cause if he's a devil, then I'm a beast." TELL ME NOW HAVE THEY BEEN HOOKING UP I REMEMBER PRAPAI BEING IN A GOOD MOOD RANDOMLY AND THEN DISAPPEARING FOR SEVERAL EPISODES AND SKY HAD THAT GIANT HICKEY ON HIS NECK I SAW THE CLUES THEY'VE BEEN HOOKING UP HAVEN'T THEY
PRAPAI I BARELY KNOW YOU BUT I LOVE YOU
Not Sky sneezing because someone is talking about him I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON
"Should I address myself as 'Wife' instead?" RAIN STOPPP HAHAHA
"We're just junior and senior. Your time to win me over is up." PAYU DON'T MAKE HIM SUFFER LIKE THAT SAY SIKE RIGHT NOW
"From now on... I'll be the one to pursue you." OH the game is ON. THE GAME IS ON I SAY
Yeah hit him with that pillow knock him the fuck out Rain I support you
"You left scratch marks all over my back last night" WELL YOU LEFT HICKEYS ALL OVER HIS CHEST I THINK YOU GUYS ARE EVEN
Rain being a little tsundere but literally only lasting for two seconds is what I live for
"I want you to choose... between becoming my wife or having me as your husband" PAYU THAT'S LITERALLY NOT HOW IT WORKS also why are they getting engaged already is this the gay version of uhaul leabians??
PAYU BUSTING OUT A WHOLE ASS SPEECH WHY RAIN SHOULD AGREE TO BE HIS BOYFRIEND (WIFE?)
WHAT DID HE WHISPER IN RAIN'S EAR I NEED TO KNOW
That's a lot of tongue ayyyyyy
Payu is so happy and in love aaaaaa why is this episode called calm before the storm I'm scared
Rain is so shy and giggly while texting Payu aaaa I love them
OH so that's what Payu whispered awwwww <3
Sky is 100% done again lmao
Oh Ple...
"I would have been happier if I hadn't just gotten a husband" for the 100th time babe you did not get married
SHE REALLY ASKED RAIN FOR PAYU'S NUMBER I AM CACKLING GIRL YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT YOU JUST STEPPED INTO
Not Rain almost publicly calling Payu his boyfriend aaaa
"I think... my brother likes P'Payu too." IS THIS GONNA BE A RAIN JEALOUSY ARC???
Rain still has tea on his nose lmao
"Damn these fruity siblings" NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I AM WHEEZING
Whoever wrote these subtitles deserves a raise
Good to know everyone looks a little dumb with a helmet like that, even Rain
Motorcycle ride giving me kpts flashbacks
My pet peeve is that we can always hear the fabric of their clothes etc moving/rustling because they were probably wearing mics while filming, it makes me feel like I'm hiding in Payu's shirt lmao
Oh hi Sky! Rain don't be shy he knows anyway - not just because you talked about it but also because I still suspect he's already hooking up with Payu's best friend (who obviously also knows about everything that's going on in Payu's love life)
AWWWW SKYYYYY aaaaa I love himmmmmmm
Lmao Payu asking about Ple
Not Payu calling Rain's mom asking for permission for Rain to stay over 👀👀👀 boy has plans I suppose
Which is exactly why we have a timeskip to the next morning lmao
Payu is humming while making coffee and I am once again reminded of the fact that this episode is called calm before the storm WHAT IS GONNA HAPPEN
PAYU I'M ALL FOR YOU LIFTING RAIN UP ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER BUT COULD YOU PLEASE PUT THE KNIFE DOWN FIRST
Oh my gaaaaahddddd the singing scene
"If anyone asks, just say that you're P'Payu's wife" xD
Bonus scene: wait that was before Rain even started studying there and Payu wrote him a good luck note IT IS FATE AAAA
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imhereforscm ¡ 1 year
Note
Hate to do this to you, but could you rank the SCM gods from favorite to least favorite?? Sorry! <3
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*SOBBING LOUDLY AT 6:00 AM* OKAYಥ⁠╭⁠╮⁠ಥ *SNIFFLING*
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1. Scorpio
He's my bias, my bae, my boo and my little submissive sweetie pie. Pretty sure the reputation I got on Tumblr is "The Scorpio-obsessed, crazy lady of the woods", so I don't think I need to elaborate much on this.
(and now this is when it begins to hurt.... I promise I love all the gods.... I don't dislike ANY of them, but I need to fulfill your wish, anon.)
2. Huedhaut
Ah, look what the cat dragged in!。⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠。 The dude I ALMOST picked when I first downloaded the game(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠) Which makes it harder to know that I was his past lover, because it's like- "I ALMOST picked you. I ALMOST gave you happiness. And I didn't do it."
But I'm not regretting Scorpio AT ALL, LOL!
3. Dui
I want to adopt him. Who can I talk to so we can negotiate the adoption? You, @acefaun ?? Are you the one in charge?? Doesn't matter that he's a fully grown adult. He's my child. I'm a mother of 3, okay?? My children are Georgiana drom pride and prejudice, Adele from Jane Eyre and Dui. Dui would blatantly obviously give me to drink poison and I'd be like- "Awwww, thank you!(⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠`⁠*⁠)" JUST BECAUSE IT'S DUI. I'M STILL MAD AT HIYORI FOR SLAPPING HIM IN THAT ONE AU STORY AND MAKING HIM CRY (I'm pretty sure he cried. I think Scorpio said it) ("if you were a goddess: Scorpio")
4. Ichthys
I roast him too much, but damn him, I do love him. He can scare me shitless at times, because I'm like- "I know merely stepping onto this floor with get me in trouble, but I'm blaming you, just so you know" but he's such a good boy。⁠:゚⁠(⁠;⁠´⁠∩⁠`⁠;⁠)゚⁠:⁠。 He's like SWEATIE PIE IDK WHAT ELSE TO SAY!! I MEAN, LOOK AT HIM!!!! LOOK AT THAT ONE PICTURE OF HIM EATING!!!
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(looking closely, my top 4 are all guys I can dom lmao)
5. Krioff
Listen up.... We'd have a brother-sister relationship! Like- he's so sweet and relatable. Idk what else to say, he's very dear to me.😭 I just wanna give him a hug and ice cream.
6. Leon
Yet another guy I roast to the moon and back, but damn his mom it, do I really like him. At first I genuinely hated his ass, but getting deeper into the game, I realized how wonderful he is. He's altruistic, his caring, protective. He's good at his job, just lazy lol, which becomes a bit cute and endearing if you look at it long enough. He's a small, whiny oversized baby(⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)⁠♥(⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)⁠♥
Disclaimer!! We passed the middle and we're heading for the bottom!! That doesn't mean I don't like those gods. I love all of them a lot!! But I'm trying to sort them in order of which I like them.
7. Partheno
This guy's ✨✨FABULOUS✨✨ He's bestie material!!!ಠ⁠ಗ⁠ಠ✨✨✨✨ We'd be B E S T I E S with that man! We're both dirty kiddos, so we'd vibe well😩😩 I can also see Partheno and I enjoying setting people up, if we see people with good connection, but they just DON'T make the freaking move. So if you want to see you and your god(s) together, but you're shy to tell him/them, hit us up(⁠ ͡⁠◉⁠ ͜⁠ ⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠◉⁠)🤙
8. Zyglavis
He oozes respect, but I wouldn't hesitate to call him a camel if he disrespected me, because BOI no one disrespects me(⁠ノ⁠`⁠Д⁠´⁠)⁠ノ⁠彡⁠┻⁠━⁠┻ But yeah *heavy breathing* look at that hair(⁠๑⁠♡⁠⌓⁠♡⁠๑⁠)
9. Tauxolouve
Another dude I'd be friends with. (See how I vibe with all the dirty ones? Lol) So to all the Tauxolouve anons filling up my inbox, I'm here to make your dreams come true and set you up with this man ꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡♡⁠˖⁠꒰⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠⑅⁠꒱*wiggling eyebrows at you*
10. Karno
He's not getting paid enough. I'm telling you.
11. Teorus
His zero sense of direction is so relatable. I literally lost the door to a store two days ago and had to call my best friend, like- "help, idk where the door is. Where are you? It feels like I lost my mom at the grocery store."
12. Aigonorus
All I'm asking is for his goats heralds to not try and eat the cacti I'll be getting soon. Just because they're plants, doesn't mean they ought to eat them, alright??? >:C 1) they'll kill my babies 2) they'll get hurt themselves with the spikes as well, so they're still not winning
That was vile, anon............... But, yeah, like I said many times in this post, I love all the gods.
Have a wonderful day everyone!!! 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
(it's 7:00 am... If I made any typos, I cannot be help responsible)
12 notes ¡ View notes
onwriting-hrarby ¡ 2 years
Note
i didn’t finish my thought <\3 but yes I agree to an extent! for me even though I really enjoy groups like itzy and aespa there are aspects that kinda push me away from enjoying them fully! i think itzy are some of the most talented performers but their music quality has sorta stagnated since wannabe which is tragic. aespa on the other hand are wonderfully talented but at they have more cbs the messier their performances become. i think they’ll grow more so I still enjoy them hehe!
like I was saying I really enjoy I’ve and new jeans currently. While I liked ives debut song what really sold me was love dive (which I recommend if you’re interested 👀) they’re a really solid group and their music is of my taste! the new jeans girls are so fun to watch on stage, they’re kinda going in the opposite way of flashy rn very reminiscent of early sm girl groups where they let the girls shine. i think they’re really breaking away from the intense choreo where everything has to be perfect to look right. they have a lot of charisma to them!
g-idle as red velvets follow ups 👀 my dear we may have to disagree for once! I think my contender for that would be the stay-c girls or ive. It could be that GIDLE is more distinct for me that I can’t see them in the position of taking on a mantle when they’ve already created one themselves plus they feel more intense than rv (so jealous of the people who can go to their concerts rn 😭💔)
Oh nonono don't get me wrong! GIDLE is a fategory on their own, but I feel that as talent and quality of their music, they are on par with Red Velvet! But they are so distinct, yet there are some things that bring a lot of Red Velvet to me and that is that their comebacks have never ONCE been the same! Every Gidle comeback is distinctively different, so that's why I am remembered of RV, who almost never repeat concepts.
About BTS, I must say I caught up during DNA, actually! And I do agree on your take about Stay C as RV, I thought the same too! But for now their concepts kinda feel on the same paths, but vocally and harmonization? COMPLETELY. And New Jeans?? I love this new group, but it's too soon to say so, I'll need to wait for another comeback. But these 4 songs are a vibe, and problematics aside, all of them are incredibly talented. While, I have to say, I couldn't get into IVE 😭😭 I think it' me having quite a prejudice with gg that come from shows or debuted with other groups (minus Twice).
What you say about Itzy and Aespa, I can just agree. At first I was very struck by Itzy, but for me JYP doesn't stick to good concepts... Like they have so many comebacks and I feel like all JYP gg have the *factor* but musically, they lack. Whereas Aespa does have all the potential (the girls and the concept, it's SM, which ppl might hate, but for me SM pulls the most interesting concepts) to do SO MUCH MORE but they are keeping them in this closed like music? I feel like, just like ITZY, their concept will die off. Unless they pull a Twice and change it mid-career.
(Agree with Twice and Blackpink. Specially Blackpink, I was a huge fan at the beginningz but I'm just so mad with the management and how they are *influencers* before musicians. Twice I loved them forever but since I grew up I was really thankful that their concept matured along with them, too, and I think it' a shame they don't do more solo works, although at the same time, I don't think all of them could pull a solo because each has their characteristics so strong it merges so well within the group.)
0 notes
wkemeup ¡ 3 years
Note
Hi. I feel terrible for asking you this and bringing this kind of content on your blog and in your free time, but if, and only if, you feel like it, I'd really need an advice from someone who treats mental health if possible, please.
It's a lot of stuff, I'm so sorry 😭: a good friend of mine is in a really bad place mentally. She's been talking to me about it for months now, sometimes even two or three times a week. Every time we spend hours talking about this stuff, but she never asks me if I'm in a decent mood to listen to her even though she knows I'm not doing well at all either. But I keep listening to her. I'm not really good at comforting people, so I try to give her some little advice to distract herself etc, but she once told me very openly she doesn't follow any advice she's given (not even her therapist's, whom I convinced her to start seeing), so now I feel even more powerless about the whole situation. To get to the point, I realized that being used as a therapist for so long is deteriorating my mental health even more. I do my best to distract myself from my own shit but she keeps bringing negativity in. I do truly care about her and I'm scared for her because she's told me some very dark things, but I think I just can't keep up like this anymore and I have no idea how to tell her without her feeling like I'm tired of her or rejecting her. Being trapped in this situation made me very anxious; every time she texts me about anything I get anxious because I'm scared she'll start ranting again. I need some peace too. Sometimes I even feel like I'm mad at her for putting me in this situation without asking me if I could handle it, but for the reasons above I never told her. Being there for a friend once in a while is a thing, but being used as a therapist when you're not trained to handle and treat someone else's mental illnesses is another, especially if you're fighting against it yourself. I so don't know what to do. I don't know how to tell her I'm incredibly tired because I'm almost sure she'll take it personally and stop talking to me completely or do something extreme if she feels like she hasn't anyone to rant to anymore... As a trained therapist, knowing all of this about her, what would you do in my place realistically speaking? Being honest would be the best thing, but she's become paranoid lately and she thinks everyone is either trying to make fun of her, talk behind her back or hurt her all the time even if it's not true at all. There's no reassuring that works with her. She's going down, I feel like a terrible friend for not being able to help her and on top of that I'll probably go down with her soon. Sorry again for passing this on you, but I'm quite desperate
I think the important thing to remember here is that you can not take ownership of her choices and behaviors. You have every right to take care of yourself and your mental health and if you need to set boundaries to do so, you are owed that. If she reacts poorly to that, it is on her. Not on you.
Maybe decide for yourself what kind of conversations are okay to have as friends who support one another and what constitutes something that should be directed to her therapist. You could say, “have you talked to your therapist about that? I don’t think I’m the best person to have that convo with.” And then try to redirect to distractions. Its normal for friends to lean on one another and vent, but it is not okay for her to use you as her therapist. It’s too much to put on a friend, especially one who is struggle with their own mental health.
So I think it’s ok for you to try to redirect her to talk to her therapist about it and that you’re not the best person to talk about that with. If you’re comfortable enough for it, you could say you’ve been struggling with your own mental health and it’s tough to talk about that stuff but you still want her to know you support her and want her to be okay. Offer a distraction. If she takes it poorly, that’s something she needs to deal with. You can not control anything in this world beside yourself.
Hope that helps ❤️
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