#i feel like i’m a happier content creator when i’m not emotionally stressed by other things

[as8bakwthesage]

My Experience With Lily Orchard + Fuck Her

Now, if those of you who know me or have been following me for a while will know that I used to be a massive Lily Orchard fan. I used to support her, I defended her, and I was once a member of her patron even.

I’ve heard stories from people, former friends, former fans, about how much of a manipulating and nasty bitch she is. At best, she’s lashed out at fans for drawing innocuous fanart and for bringing up topics in stream that she doesn’t approve of (I’ve been there, I’ve seen it), and at worst she’s a lying abusive cunt who can’t help but make people around her miserable.

And while I’ve not been the subject of Lily’s abuse, I have been witness and bore the blunt of her passive aggressive horseshit, her manipulating situations to make me appear like a cunt for daring to correct her on an opinion of a book she never fucking read, her shamelessly putting me on blast in one of her videos where she insinuated I was stupid for asking a question about LGBT+ rep, for telling me and other fans to stop talking when we tried to defend our positions in chat.

I’ve had to walk on eggshells around her because I feel like every word I say or anything I do will be seen as an attack on her despite me being a fan of hers for literally fucking years and she knows this. I’ve been a fan of hers since I was 15-16 and I’m 22 now. With no other content creator have I felt the need to be so fucking careful of what I say.

And when I sent her an ask telling her that her yelling at others on stream for seemingly no reason was actively triggering me (mind you, in the nicest way possible because I couldn’t hurt Ms. Orchard’s feewings oh nuuuu) she ignored my ask. Do I have proof she saw it? No. Is she a large enough content creator that she receives so much interaction/asks on her tumblr that my ask got swallowed? Also No.

If you’re a Lily Orchard fan, I am not a needless hater, I am not a stalker or a troll or a bigot. I’m a transgender and biromantic/asexual person myself who is Native and actively participates in activities regarding my tribe and culture. I’m white passing like Lily is. I used to be a fan of hers for fuck’s sake and an active one too.

But here’s the thing - she’ll suck you in with her bold commentary and criticisms and some of it is genuinely really thought provoking and interesting. On the outset she has a “no tolerance for abusers” policy and she’s charismatic to an audience of teenagers who were being abused. Fuck, she helped me realise I was being abused and when the Toonkritic shit came out, that slowly started to help me realise I was being groomed by my exe (TheHauntedReader)

I convinced myself for the longest time that just because Lily wrote “Stockholm” that it didn’t mean anything. That all of her weird takes and opinions were just a quirky “haha i did this in my youth and i regret it” moment. But this isn’t 13-year-old me writing weird fanfiction between an adult and a child when I didn’t fucking know any better and was being actively groomed and abused, this was an adult who wrote CP and romanticised it and tried to get away with it and who should have known better!

And once you are a fan of hers, it’s hard not to become emotionally invested, especially if you’ve always seen her behaviour as normal, which I did. A lot of her fans are abuse/trauma survivors and she knows that. So many of us have confided to her that she helped us realise we could be happier and that we could escape. That we were more than our abuse. These are powerful things to talk about.

But she doesn’t care about us. Never has. Never will. She convinced me and has convinced others that us asking her stupid/silly questions is damaging to her. That it’s caused her so much emotional damage and stress that she can justify lashing out and verbally abusing her audience, y’know - the people who gave her a career. By her own admission, she hates us, but expects our support when she’s being harassed??

Girl, fuck off.

But that is just my own experience. I’ve seen some shit in the past couple of days that I can’t unsee and I encourage you all to look into it because it’s such a dark hole that the phrase “stare into the abyss for too long and it stares back” is what I feel like right now.

And I know why I feel like this - I invested energy and money and emotions into this woman and her channel. I’ve supported her. And no, Lily, this is not about me wanting to be your friend. It’s about me asking for some fucking decency as someone you at least know of and at most you know supported you? To not lie and misrepresent what I’ve said and then vaguepost about me?

Have I made mistakes? Yes. But that’s no excuse to berate and yell at people who have only asked stupid questions or fuck, even made goddamn harmless jokes??

Also, if fans/friends of Lily’s are harassing @asunnycoffee you guys are the fucking worst. Don’t fucking attack my friend you raging cunts. I have a couple ideas of who you might be, but I know you won’t air out your dirty laundry with me, Ginger.

You guys are pathetic.

Lily doesn’t care about her fans, she doesn’t care about her friends, and she’s certainly not going to start anytime soon.

#fuck lily orchard #lily orchard #sage writes an essay again #sage rambles

[haknew]

Your gifs are so pretty , I could get them tattooed on my forehead lol❤

i’m honored 🤣🤧🤩✨💖 thank you for thinking so 🥺💗 i actually take a lot of pride in gif making which is a pretty rare feeling for me so knowing that others think my gifs are neat is really nice 🥺✨ makes me happie ^^

#jonghos-left-airpod #asks #not tbz #jess.replies #i’ll try to make more stuff soon i just was away from home this weekend #and it’s messing with my head so i need to settle back in and take some time to recharge 😭 #i feel like i’ve been saying this a lot but i’m really burned out ;-; #and bc i like talking in the tags and saying nice stuff i really want to be energetic and happy to do so #and same with gif making #i feel like i’m a happier content creator when i’m not emotionally stressed by other things #cuz then i just make stuff that makes me happie ya know ? no grinding or getting anxious about notes >.< #just wanna have fun and be happie and make others smile too ! ;-; #just my two cents ig ^^

[road2nf]

Jensen McRae | The Road to Nerdfighteria

DFTBA. If you are not subscribed to the vlogbrothers YouTube channel, and if you never have been, you might not know what that stands for. It’s an initialism (because acronyms are pronounceable, fact c/o of a vlogbrothers video) that stands for Don’t Forget To Be Awesome. It is the official (or perhaps unofficial) motto of the nerdfighter community. (Nerdfighters are people who are fans of vlogbrothers, the content creators therein, or the community therein. I think that’s enough definitions for now). When I was 14 years old, this book called The Fault in Our Stars came out. A good friend of mine was kind of obsessed with the author, this slightly sub-middle-aged white guy named John Green, and she insisted that I read both The Fault in Our Stars and Looking for Alaska, this John Green guy’s first book. I was a reader in childhood, having developed nearsightedness due to my predilection for reading in the dark after my bedtime by flashlight (at least that’s the explanation my mother gave me). However, recently I’d found myself frustrated by books. I would tear through middle-grade chick lit (that’s the best way I can describe these terribly formulaic books with dull characters and contrived plots that always involved two straight/white/able-bodied/middle-class best friends falling in love) when I found it, but other than that, I wasn’t reading as much as I used to. I can’t really remember what I did with my free time. I guess I was writing songs? I think I was mostly playing The Sims 3. I digress. In any case, I was in ninth grade and on the precipice of Maybe Being Cool, and this friend was one of the cooler girls in class, so I bought TFiOS (hip shorthand) about two months after its publication and read it over spring break in ninth grade. I read it in one three or four hour sitting, and I cried. Like a lot. It was the first time since early childhood that I could remember a book moving me in such a poignant way. I was attached to the characters, I was absorbed by the plot, and the language! The LANGUAGE in that story was so compelling. I was picking up on subtext and metaphors in a way that I’d only ever done when I was forced to in English class. The book had reinvigorated my love for words in stories that no other book could have. Then I took a brief reading hiatus. The second half of my ninth grade year was me continuing to ascend the social ladder, however slowly. I still joked that I was a dork, but the truth of the matter was, I had friends from every rung. I was sociable with tech geeks, theater nerds, football players, and cheerleaders alike. I felt like people had stopped looking through me like I was invisible. It was largely due to my presence on the school newspaper, which drew both the ambitious popular kids and the ambitious nerdy kids to its ranks. Also, I had a boyfriend. We never kissed or held hands or even went on dates, but we hung out every day at school and told people we were dating. This was enough to get me at least a bit of social buying power. (I promise this is all relevant to the story). Then, at the end of freshman year, I realized that I was sick of having a boyfriend who did not kiss me or hold my hand or go on dates with me, and also didn’t answer my texts or calls once school let out. So I called his house and dumped him over the phone. I spent the summer feeling sorry for myself, turning to the Internet and its thriving subculture of fame and infamy. Whenever I get heartbroken in real life, I fall deeply and inconsolably in love with fictional characters and/or celebrities who are too old for me. That summer, it was Jack and Finn Harries, Dan Howell, and any other British 20-year-old who made funny sketches and made me feel like I was loved, even though they were thousands of miles away, several years older, and had no idea who I was. It was during this summer that I discovered a channel featuring two much older men named Hank Green and John Green (yes relation, they’re brothers). Their videos were all at least somewhat informational, whether they be about politics, science, literature, or just about the personal lives of the men who made the videos. About five videos in, I realized that John Green of the vlogbrothers was John Green of TFiOS fame. I was elated! There were hundreds of videos on the channel going back to 2007. In between reading self-insert fanfic about the Harries twins, I would watch vlogbrothers videos, reminding myself to read John’s other books when I got the chance. When I returned to school, all the work that I’d done to become popular seemed to dissolve before my very eyes. Sophomore year was when we switched campuses, to the Upper School, and all the actual popular kids were going to parties with upperclassmen and trying alcohol and getting into real relationships. I was stuck in the past, pining over boys who only hung out with me so I would help them write their essays and obsessing over Tumblr and YouTube. I was also experiencing turbulence in my personal life unlike any I’d ever had before. It’s so clear to me now that I was afraid of the social rejection and emotional darkness in the real world, so I holed myself up online, laughing while handsome young Brits wore wigs on camera and rewatching John Green speed-talk his way through a fake television show he titled “Hitler and Sex.” In the midst of this Internet-ing, I read that other John Green book my old friend had mentioned, even though she’d already begun the slow and painful process of outgrowing me (the death knell of our friendship was when she told me about having sex with her boyfriend in her car and my response was some combination of a prudish, judgmental face and an exclamation of “Ew!”). Looking for Alaska leveled me just as profoundly as TFiOS had, and with no social life to worry about, I was hungry for more. I read the other books that John Green had talked about on his channel–Fahrenheit 451 and The Great Gatsby, plus other works that his recommendations had led me to, like Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, The Taming of the Shrew, and one of my all-time favorites to this day, Slaughterhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut. I was reading a book almost every week, downloading them to my iPad and going back to my old habits, reading by dim light long after I should have already gone to sleep. My schoolwork wasn’t where it needed to be, but I was thriving. Awakened, even. Though my junior year marked another ascent into minor popularity, I crash-landed my senior year, coming off a painful rejection from a summer romance and a position in student government that should have won me acceptance but largely isolated me from everyone but my fellow council mates and steady friends. College applications were stressing me out, I felt alienated from even my immediate circle, and I was worried about my social future. Though I was accepted to the only two universities I applied to, I felt inert and emotionally itchy. I descended back into what I knew best: books. I read more Vonnegut, bizarre stories by delightful authors like Graeme Cameron and Douglas Coupland, and of course, my current #1 all-time, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Díaz. After my brain literally exploded from reading Oscar Wao in all its sprawling, multilingual, multigenerational, magical realistic/science fictional glory, I devoured Díaz’s two books of short stories, Drown and This Is How You Lose Her. I vividly remember those days in the spring of 2015, using my seemingly endless multitude of free periods to sit in the sweaty, iron-hot bleachers, nose burrowed in a book, ignoring the festivities of senior year around me. I was happier alone, laughing at Kurt’s crude drawings and Díaz’s matter-of-factness about love and sex, experiences I’d still yet to have at 17. I graduated, and I went to USC, where within a month of starting school I met Junot Díaz and got him to sign my copy of Oscar Wao. I dealt with the Usual College Stuff, like homesickness (from half an hour away…I’m weak) and social anxiety and academic adjustments and figuring out what the hell it actually means to major in popular music. I stopped judging people for drinking alcohol and having sex, I stopped being afraid of parties (though I’m still terrified of boys…and rightly so), I stopped being disappointed in my real life because it doesn’t follow a neat narrative (or at least I do it less now). However, I never stopped reading, and I never stopped watching vlogbrothers videos. I am a faithful nerdfighter, because that online community and John’s books have seen me through some dark times. Somewhere in the last five years, I read An Abundance of Katherines (not my favorite), Paper Towns (used to be my favorite but TFiOS ranks supreme at the moment), and Will Grayson Will Grayson (absolutely ACES but technically cowritten with David Levithan so to me it is in a separate category). I’ve watched thousands of videos from vlogbrothers and Crash Course. I went to Vidcon in 2014 and met John in person for about five seconds, handing him my business card and a #JustinCarrWantsWorldPeace luggage tag before he was escorted to his next event by security. My love of language has blossomed into three young adult manuscripts, two feature films, a handful of short films, and hundreds of poems, songs, and essays. Though my inner and outer lives have changed substantially since I first wept onto the pages of TFiOS, I’m still anxious, and often. I’m still terrified of romantic rejection and I still put myself out there frequently and embarrassingly. I’m still a bookworm and I’m still a writer and I’m still a nerdfighter. And I think I always will be. John Green and his books have a special place in my heart. So when he announced that his first new book in almost six years is coming out this fall, I was overcome with emotion. Turtles All The Way Down isn’t just a book. It’s a historical artifact from the future, a piece of my past hurtling towards me from the opposite direction. When I think of John Green’s work, I think of my cringey adolescence, my weirdly small glasses and then my weirdly big glasses, my difficulty with my weight and my stunted social development. I think of the hours I spent reblogging fan art and GIF sets of real people that I’d mythologized into characters by watching their YouTube videos for so long. I think of my transition from Cute Little Girl to Awkward Bookish Teen to Real Human Woman. I was 14 when I read my first John Green book. I will be 20 when I read Turtles All The Way Down. The chasm between who I was and who I will be then is huge. Un-crossable by anyone but me. Right now, we’re a little less than four months out from the release of Turtles All The Way Down. Not much is known about the book, and I’d like to keep it that way. I’m feeling those tingly “no spoilers!” feelings I felt when I was in high school and enamored with the purity of an untouched literary experience. But as much as this book’s impending release is inspiring a unique kind of nostalgia in me, it’s also reminding me that I cannot go back. I cannot return to the innocent girl of 14 I was when I first heard John Green’s name, and I can’t get back the years I spent/lost/lived in between then and now. I can only move forward. I can only grow up. This book, in all likelihood, will not live up to my expectations. It will not change my life. It can’t, because though it will be my first time reading this particular book, it won’t be my first time becoming infatuated with literature. I’ve done that already. I may love this book, but there is a difference between falling in love with someone new and falling in love for the very first time. Before I met books with sweaty palms, dress askew, tongue heavy in my mouth. So…come here often? Now, each story is met with a knowing smile, legs crossed at the ankles like they’re supposed to be, no lipstick on the wine glass. Your place or mine? Before this book comes out, and I form any opinions about the content or the style, I would like to extend a heartfelt thank you to John Green. If not for his careful handiwork, if not for the immense trust that he puts in his young readers, if not for his heart-wrenching stories, I might never have been drawn to great books the way I am now. Thank you for caring. Thank you for writing even when your illness handcuffed you, tried to make you stop. Thank you for making videos about hard topics and silly ones. I may grow up, but I will never outgrow you and your words, John. Keep publishing books, and I’ll keep reading them, no matter how old we both get.

via @withfeelingoncemore

#nfstories #john green #hank green #tfios #turtles all the way down #nerdfighteria #reading #submission

[capturedrook]

Getting Way Too Into An Online Astrology Reading

So I decided to check out a full astrology thing with the Chaos Astology site, and while I know a lot of it is purposefully vague so as to apply to everyone...It's super fun. Now, here's a really long post of me commenting on some of the stuff it said about me!

Firstly, it's worth acknowledging that I'm a Cancer Sun. So the baseline is emotional, maternal, homebody type stuff. Nourishing and moody and all that. Post is sorted by quotes that relate to each other rather than by planet or house or whatever.

Atmosphere

There was a lot of stuff about 'atmosphere' and 'imagination'.   "With the Sun placed in Cancer, you are very good at creating the receptive atmosphere and nurturing climate necessary for desires to grow and flourish." - From Sun in Cancer Well, I've kind of heard that my whole life. I think most people hear a lot of stuff about their sun sign growing up. I wonder how much that informs the way they act, knowing what's expected of them because of something like that? "A born creator of atmosphere, especially when it comes to the home and domestic surroundings." - From Moon Trine Neptune Cancer Suns are supposed to like, super love being home (and I do) so I guess that's fair enough...But doesn't everything kind of make atmosphere? Even no atmosphere or a clusterfuck is its own kind of atmosphere.   "You have real vision and insight into the unity that ties this world together. Your brilliant imagination and enchanting manner transport all who meet you beyond the mundane and into the extraordinary regions where you spend a lot of your time. You are a seer, in the true sense of the word, and possess a waking experience of that part of us that is mystical and dreamlike. You find new ways to bring people together, to unify situations. Unusual music." - From Uranus Conjunct Neptune What a fuckin' swerve at the end there. Unity, brilliant, enchanting, transport, extraordinary, seer, mystical, but your taste in music is weird. "You tend to radiate a dream-like quality that draws others to you. You are also highly receptive to environmental influences and to other people. More positively, you have a keen imagination, intuitive and creative gifts, coupled with the power of inspiration." - From Neptune in the 1st House Again with the 'dream-like' stuff. You know what else "radiates a dream-like quality"? Head trauma. Sleepiness. Brain fog. Some medications. Any scene in a movie that has fog and trees. The room where you fight Dark Link. Music by "In Love With a Ghost" (especially "Flowers"). Rainy, sleepy days with blankets. Afternoon burn-out from an overproductive morning. Metronomes, sometimes? "A built-in sense of what the public wants and the ability to come up with just the right image." -  From Moon Trine Neptune "You have great insights into what motivates the public, crowds, and the mind in general." - From Uranus Sextile Pluto I do?! That would be really handy, if it were true. "Yours is a lightning wit. You somehow know everything about everybody."  From Mercury in Gemini Apparently I don't, since I didn't know that about me. Checkmate.

Intensity

There was also a LOT of stuff about me being, uh, intense. I did say there was a lot of 'imagination' type stuff but the amount of messages that had 'intense' in it or similar ideas is...Intense. Hm.

"You are a hard worker; however, you need to pace yourself well in order to avoid stress-related illnesses." -  From Mercury in the 6th House Okay, that's not so bad. I know that's a problem I have and I can deal with it. That's fine.

"Ambitions are backed-up by the will to get things done, but can be very driven to the point of being too aggressive." -  From Sun Semisquare Mars Yeah, all right. I've also been told that from being a Slytherin...But I never really seem to get anything done, now do I?

"Comes on strong and tends to intimidate."  From Sun Sesquiquadrate Pluto (That's absurdly specfic) Especially when I'm excited. I try to keep a cap on it but when I get happy or excited about a New Thing, I tend to get loud and energetic. I also stand up during difficult fights in video games. "Not afraid of a good confrontation. This intensity puts self and others through a lot of changes." I am *very* afraid of a good confrontation, thank you very much! I don't even like going to the grocery store if there's too many people. Or talking to doctors. Or making phone calls.

"Big heart, big love, you are seldom petty. Given to grand gestures and dramatic scenes, you love freedom and greatness of feeling in your relationships."  -  From Venus in Leo This explains how dramatic absolutely all of my characters are but yeah, that can definitely come across as intense.

"Your drive to innovate, invent, and find new ways to use things is both well coordinated and intense." -  From Mars Trine Uranus  Intense again.

"You have a relentless drive to get at the heart of things, whatever is under the surface or behind the scenes. Your relentless pursuit of anything hidden or secret makes you a researcher or investigator bar none. Emotionally you are also hot stuff, rushing into areas and handling subject matter that others would never come near. Vulnerable issues, sensitive areas of the self, and psychology are the first places you head. This amounts to a passion with you. Those around you may find you just too intense to be around." -  From Mars opposite Pluto  More intense! Does this add or multiply?!

"You can work with sensitive and vulnerable psychological areas without batting an eye, and would be good at instructing others in these areas. Your keen mind and great analytical powers always manage to get at whatever motivation is beyond apparent behavior. You can see what is behind touchy and very personal matters." -  From Uranus Sextile Pluto For all that I'm making jokes about this, this kind of is a problem that I have. I tend to just cut right into it with total strangers and most people...Don't want that. But then some of them do and seek it out themselves, and so I end up spending my lunch break at work talking someone through trauma from her childhood and we're both happier for it, and I'm still proud that I got to help someone. That shouldn't take precedence over the fact that it makes people uncomfortable, though; I need to take care to slow down, check signals, and start with just...Being chill. I need to chill.

"You work with real imagination and understanding in areas of the mind that are the most personal or private -- depth psychology. You are like a midwife of the spirit, assisting at the birth of each individual going through a spiritual or re-birth process. You accept the natural process of birth, spiritual and physical, and have dedicated yourself to helping it along. You would make a great teacher in these areas." -  From Neptune Sextile Pluto  That isn't chilling, and "Midwife of the spirit" is both a very cool and very unsettling phrase.

"An in-fighter, with animal-like instincts, you love being where the action is most intense. Your penetrating mind gets through the B.S. and straight to the bottom line." -  From Jupiter in Scorpio  1. No, I don't like intensity! I get anxious! Bad! 2. Again, with the cutting to the core stuff. This is getting absurd.

"When you do enact a change, it is always at the deepest or core level and affects everything else in your life." -  From Saturn Semisquare Uranus  I think a core might have done something to me in a previous life because apparently I'm hunting them down systematically.

"You tear through appearances in an effort to get beneath, behind, and at the heart or essence. You may find psychology, initiation, mysticism and the occult of great interest. Intense personal change and inner growth are lifelong habits." -  From Pluto in Scorpio See?? But really, the occult and mysticism are both pretty interesting to me, obviously, since I'm reading this to begin with.

"Scorpio is intense, passionate, and very personal. It rushes past superficialities and right to the heart of any matter." "Scorpio loves to get involved, going down deeper, coming up dirtier, and laying bare anything that lies hidden there." -  From Scorpio on the 11th House Cusp How many things do this? I know 'intense' is a pretty vague direction for it to take but this is getting to be a really crazy amount of the same thing being said at me over and over. Can someone else do theirs and let me know how often it uses the word 'intense'? Maybe the writer just didn't have a thesaurus. Or had a list of buzzwords.

"Sagittarius is nothing if not direct, candid, and to the point, for this sign is always concerned with the absolute truth of the subject at hand." -  From Sagittarius on the 12th House Cusp   Is there such a thing as absolute truth, though? Truth is relative. 

"You value personal contact, cutting through all the externals and getting to the heart of things. You understand and appreciate vulnerability and have no compunction about presenting your own sensitive spots to others. You enjoy working behind the scenes, getting at secret and hidden areas of the mind and psyche. Changes and transformative experiences are where you like to be most.” - From Venus Square Pluto I do actually really dislike small talk and love when people just act like we've known each other for years already. Show up and talk to me about some personal shit. Tell me if you want me to just listen, advise, or comfort. Tell me how you feel about dreams and space and stuff. Talk about how much you've changed since you were in school, and how that makes you feel.

"You have an inner need for communication of all kinds and may have too many irons in the fire at times. You can be all over the place, always trying to make one more connection. Speaking and writing are natural interests."  - From Mars in Gemini Shhhhh. Let me have my irons. It's a very big forge, it'll be fine.

Philosophy

"Outlook is mainly philosophical, optimistic and content. " -  From Sun Trine Jupiter If you have to tell someone they're content...

"You also have a great interest in ideas, the more true and lasting the better. Philosophical concepts will be a lifelong concern for you. " -  From Mercury Trine Jupiter Gee, that doesn't sound fun. Can we not do that?

"You may fear the deeper, mystical side of life and need to give more freely of both your time and understanding, for you will find that giving out to others in this way helps to lessen your own burdens." -  From Saturn in Pisces ...What did I *just* say?

Misc:

"Restless. Good memory and strong powers of recall." -  From Moon Semisquare Mercury Maybe long-term; I can remember the pattern on the fabric inside my baby swing looked like. Short-term, I'm not even sure what I ate today, let alone for breakfast yesterday.

”You are well suited to dealing with the public and could enjoy professional success in personnel work, sales, the arts, entertainment industry, or the counseling fields.” - From Venus in the 7th House

The Seventh House: "The seventh house, the descendant - opposite of the ascendant - is connected with partnerships, relationships and 'significant others'. Here is where we learn to strike a balance - the art of give and take." Oh, okay. I wonder how mine contradicts with- Cancer on the 7th House Cusp “Cancer is the mother of the zodiac, always making a home, protecting and providing a foundation for others. A sensitive sign where feelings and real experience count more than cold logic, it doesn't get any more physical and emotional than this." I have doubled down, repeat, DOUBLED DOWN on feelings. "You have stable emotions and tend to form strong attachments to the past, perhaps to the extent of making you resistant to change." - From Moon in Taurus Does this lessen the other stuff? Are we bad to a x1 emotional multiplier instead of a x2? "Capricorn is the business head of the zodiac, for it is the very opposite of the emotional Cancer."  -  From Capricorn on the 1st House Cusp Is that...Is that bad for a Cancer Sun? Am I gonna split in half? Or, wait. Does that even it out to a 0 because of the Taurus thing?

"Magnificent willpower. " - From  Sun Sesquiquadrate Pluto Roll to disbelieve. Also, can we acknowledge what ‘ Sesquiquadrate’ means? “An aspect in which two planets are separated by an angle of 135 degrees.”  It’s like the pose in Bloodborne where you show the Great Ones you do, in fact, understand math.  “-however, you may need to guard against dictatorial inclinations, as these will cause unfavorable reactions in others.” - From Pluto in 10th House I may need to WHAT "A special gift for spanning generation gaps; bringing older and younger spirits together."   - From Sun Sextile Moon I know what this actually means, but I love the idea of it implying I’m some kind of ghost relationship expert. 

Blatantly wrong, so wrong it offends me:

"You are very interested in tradition and tend to be dignified and conservative. You believe in an orderly society led by benevolent monarchs - those who can see what to do." - From Neptune in Capricorn No??? That sounds HORRIBLE. What?! Tradition is stupid, dignity is overrated, I am never conservative about anything, an orderly society is how people lose their spark, and monarchies are the worst decision you could make. Okay? Okay. "Voluptuousness and eroticism are implied." - From  Moon Square Venus I'm 5'3" and 100lb, how "voluptuous" do you think I can be?? "An optimistic and charming nature; this is a very favourable feminine combination." - From Moon Square Venus This is just flat-out gross.

And then I reopened the page to check something, and now it says the Sun is in the 6th House, not the Seventh. Is this checking where it is now, not where it was when I was born? Next I ought to use a different site and see if it says planets are in literally any of the same places this does.  EDIT: I went through and updated/removed the stuff that was out of whack. For some reason, sometimes it opened using one timezone and sometimes using another. I don’t know why. I changed it to only use info from the one with the accurate timezone. Disappointingly, none of the ones I really hate changed.  Anyway, that’s it! If anyone who actually knows anything about astrology wants to give their take on it or talk about this, let me know! It’s been...Something. 

#kit rambles #astrology #a completely unnecessary post #i wouldn't take any of this to heart but it's good for introspection #cancer sun #taurus moon #can't wait to see how tumblr murders my formatting