#i dont havé the mental fortitude to look at the long ass new years resolution list i made in my notes app when my phone was dying on the bu

[devilofthepit]

i am so much more mentally ill than i was last year but also in different ways. the problems i had a year ago have not gone away but i care significantly less now #growth unfortunately my current problems are now worse.

#i dont havé the mental fortitude to look at the long ass new years resolution list i made in my notes app when my phone was dying on the bu #s back from school #but i saw someone posting abt their resolutions and i remembered tjem and man everything i cared about was so stupid likr none of it mattere #d all my problems were so small #i mean i remember the state i was in around this time last year and thays not entirely true i was dealing witj scjool and a job etc but most #of my resolutions were just to stop caring so much abt things that #i never should have cared about in the first place #not that my problems are that bad now. many of them would be solved by not having a fever and not pmsing #some of them tho. are representative of larger issues. but i handle them #i just want to mot have to handle them for once i think having a fever is my body’s way of telling me to slow down and relax and not try to #have everything together but ive been sick for so many days that its getting old and i want to be done and there are legit things to do like #fucking finals #but i will survive life goes on etc #im not usually a new years resolution person but i think it might help to be more thoughtful and introspective instead of repressing #everything so perhaps i shall try again this year