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#i dont even feel like i madd progress
oflgtfol · 1 year
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also i finally made my first step towards talking to counseling on campus. this shit is so bs because they say first steps: book an appointment on the website or call us. but rhe website doesnt work. so youre forced to call. and then they wont even let you book an appointment the first time you call the first call is just to get your information then you have to csll back the next day. Like what
#brot posts#so despite finally calling after months of saying i would and then Not#i dont even feel like i madd progress#bc the only readon i finally DID was my friends sat me down and forced me to do it with them nearby#and now i havr to call back tomorrow monring ???#like as if i’ll remember? or want to when my friends arent forcing me to?#so until tomorrow i dont feel like i even accomplishee snything 🙄#anyway i told my friends im suicidal and it sounds so underwhelming when i try to explain ir in words 👍#have never done therapy before so idk whst to expect#but i cant wait to make it seem so underwhelming and downplay every mental agony ive been experiencing for the past. year and a half 👍#part of it is bc i just talk really monotone so saying ‘well i hate admitting this out loud but ive been suicidal’ in a flat voice is. well#idk i just feel so stupid like when it gets really bad i feel like im in like. a funhouse like im just twisting and turning and everything#looks bad st all angles and i cant escape#and then i inevitably have to break out of it for whatever reason whether thats going to sleep or going to class or going to work#and then when im out of it its like. well im fine now :/#idk it just feels like im blowing things out of proportions. every single time#but then yknow i inevitably get bad again and its like bangs my head into the wall#rinse and repeat endless cycle of ‘oh my god the agonies are endless’ and ‘well im actually totally fine :/ im just being stupid’#so making an appointment while im currently levelheaded just feels so. stupid#its like going to the doctor for a cold or something but of course when youre there you dont cough or sneeze or anything so its like oh god#‘im here becsuse i have a bad cough’ <- has not coughed at all the entire time in the doctors office
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davisbette · 2 years
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i feel like i was doing so well keeping my MADD/ED in check until like 2 weeks ago. i was feeling positive i was eating healthy i was starting to open up/expressing myself a little bit more and then BOOM i feel like all my progress is just erased. i took so many steps back and i can't stop crying i feel like such a loser. maybe i should just delete this blog, i don't really engage with fandom, i'm not a content creator, i have nothing interesting to contribute and lately i dont even feel like reblogging things
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ravenmailey · 4 years
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Living with madd
So I'm 20 years old, I am a mother, and a girlfriend and i have madd. Among other things, depression etc.
So to start my madd is something I still do all the time. It's really hard having a regular relationship when you live like this. I had never had a full long term relationship before the man I'm with and I only recently discovered madd as a real thing. I told this man I had imaginary friends, and he just kinda went with it, cause I also never talk about it. But what I'm getting to is that he has helped me in ways I have no idea to explain to him. I used to daydream through every social interaction and it always put me out in groups of people where I'd fall away from the conversation and I wouldn't know how to Come Back In but at 16 I had started working on that because I realized it was really hurting me and I had got new friends and I wanted to be a part of things well after I got my boyfriend he helped a lot with that because I felt terrible for not paying attention to him, and and now when he's awake and home I don't really daydream because I need to be invested and involved in my life. And he had done a good job of unknowingly taking up my, main para, Ander, his mantle. Ander has been with me for a long time he isnt the first para but he is the one that is always there, he is the para that took up the place as a soulmate role in my life, as a lover and a protector. And im now not leaning on him during every moment, Ander isnt just always there next to me now. Because I'm often not alone and honestly I feel like I'm cheating on my Boyfriend sometimes with him, and I feel so so terrible to have ander with me when my Boyfriend is around. And now ander also has started to change some to look like him in the face. But being loved and supported by someone I love and also want to support has made slowing down my madd even at all possible.
Furthermore being a mother is hard, I have a 11 month old little girl, and she relies on me for everything and I have to be active and apart of her development, not just active I have to push it along and find new and creative ways to help her grow and become a person. But madd is very intrusive. I feel like a terrible mom, I feel like I dont spend enough time doing active play with her. And its true I dont. ( on a side note my daughter is excelling and ahead on her milestones and I love her soooooooo much) but having my paras do things with me is something I have done for a while so it helps that in small ways i just include the daydreaming in with being a mom. But having a kid terrifies me, what if she falls behind because I'm not doing good, or if her speach isn't progressing right because I listen to earbuds and dont talk much. Or when she gets older how will I hide this. For now I just try not to think about it and anxiety over doing the wrong thing pushes me to be the mom she needs me to be, maybe not to the best of my ability but I try. Also thet i dont want my animals to watch me be a freak thing wayyy worse with a kid then a pet.
Having madd has made my life hard, probably in equal or greater amounts then it ever helped. I dont know how or if I ever will stop. But its getting easier and knowing really is half the battle. I'm not saying go get a Boyfriend to stop daydreaming, it totally dose not work. I have to stop myself from holding mine to ander's standard as far as comforting me or how he says things goes and that's so far from fair. But I am saying to find a good friend or a roommate someone you really trust, like talking to and being around ALOT. ( remember kids 72 hours non stop at least before moving in with someone.) And try to just be apart of being with them as.much as possible. Tell your paras being hydrated is important offer them some water and drink some yourself. Your paras are your coping mechanism and you should use them to help you move around interact with your world.
I know this is super long, but I never see anyone talk about relationships or being a parent and it's hard. If anyone wants to talk or had questions about whether or not I figured out how to get over something feel free to message me. I'm a stay at home mom and a homemaker, my whole life is self driven apparently I figure something out lol. Or if you want to know more about madd or my paras. I hope this helps show that there is hope for regular things in life like love and success even for people with madd. ( this was super hard for me to write hope it's not to bad)
@valiantlyfuturisticbarbarian thank you you have come to mean so much to me, and I could never quite thank you for being there for me.
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"nevada dmv no insurance
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I live In London Ontario and I'm 16 I'm about to get my g1 if I pass use my parents car for a year and do drivers Ed and if I buy a Honda civic 2009 manuel transmission, hOw much would insurance be ? Please list a bunch insurance companies and tell me the price thanks!""
Car insurance for young drivers?
hi, im turning seventeen this year and im thinking of getting a car so i can get a job to support my family and my girlfriend i was wondering how much it would cost me to insure a 1999 ford fiesta as my first car, i just need a rough idea so i know how much im looking at thanks in advance""
""It would seem,by the comments I've gathered, it really isn't about affordable health insurance ...?""
it is about lifestyle. If that is the case then isn't this debate about Health Care simply over CONTROL? Should YOUR insurance rates go up if you have many health problems? I think so if you health problems stem from overeating and smoking and things like that you can help. People who engage in unhealthy habits like the 1st answer said should be charged very high rates that way when they do have problems, their rates won't go up. That depends on whether it's real insurance, where the costs are spread across a pool, or funny health insurance like we have now, which isn't really insurance at all, more like a form of extortion. The overwhelming majority of illnesses are not the fault of the sick person, and those who have the greatest costs are often so sick they are unable to work. ` Absolutely. If the insurance company faces higher outlays on your behalf, why wouldn't they charge you more in order to offset the difference? I would say that your insurance rates should be based more on your lifestyle habits than anything else. I have no problem with making people who smoke, are overweight or have other unhealthy habits pay more for thier health insurance. (It works this way with life insurance.)""
Speeding ticket...how much will my insurance go up?
I received a speeding ticket. If found guilty of it, how much can I expect of an increase in my insurance premium? It is my first ticket. I have USAA insurance. It is a minor infraction. (1 point in here in Cali.) Thanks for the help!""
Looking for cheap insurance?
just baught a van and looking for insurance companys numbers,thanks sean""
Car insurance confusion?
I have full comp. insurance for my car and I can drive any other vehicle as 3rd party (As per policy). I also own another car which is not insured to anyone...Can I drive my this car (un insured) under my existing policy as 3rd party ?
Where can i find insurance without license?
Most of the insurance companies that I call will not provide insurance because I do not have a license I have to have insurance before I can get my license. What should I do?
Speeding ticket in a rental car raises my insurance?
Hey forum, I got a 34mph-over speeding ticket in some tiny texas town in my rental. I didn't give the cop my insurance b/c the car was insured through my credit card. How will this affect my Texas Farmers insurance rate? Thanks heaps""
Which insurance is cheap for 20 years old new drivers in WA Everett.?
Which insurance is cheap for 20 years old new drivers in WA Everett.?
nevada dmv no insurance
nevada dmv no insurance
Would insurance on a 2005 pontiac GTO be cheaper then insurance on a 2000 Grand Prix GTP (Supercharged)?
jw
What is better - socialized medicine or affordable health insurance?
What is better - socialized medicine or affordable health insurance?
How much is my health/car insurance going to be?
i am a 18 year old girl in california. ive never gotten a ticket or pulled over and i drive a 2010 ford fusion se(4 cyllinder) with all the safety features it offers. i dont think i have bad credit because all i have is a debit card that is attached to my parents accounts and they deposit money in it when i need it. so if i try to go over my limit it doesnt let me. we have triple a insurance and our bank is wells fargo. i dont know if having a job changes the price but ive had 2 other jobs and am currently employed in a new one. ive never been fired only laid off once because i was a seasonal worker and i quit another for not enough hours. all 3 jobs are retail jobs not making more than 9 dollars an hour. also i am a full time student with 12 units in a community college. My parents have basically perfect credit, both of them. does anyone know how much it will be for both health and car insurance if i start paying?""
How much could my car insurance increase if I pay a 90.00 fine that included 1 point on my record?
I have a clean driving record so would it be worth paying the ticket and watching my insurance go up a few bucks? I can't imagine my insurance going up too much for a single point, but maybe I am totally wrong. Any advice on this matter would be much appreciated.""
Approximately how much will car insurance cost me in the usa?
im 19 years old im getting a mazda rx8 2004 it has 55k millage on it. i will use my foreigner license in the states. im live in new york and im a student on an f1 visa.
Second Owner of a Car = Insurance? (FL)?
This is for the state of Florida. Yes, I could have looked it up, but there are too many answers to get a straight one. Scenario: Say a parent owns a car. They pay insurance. There's an 18-year-old who still has their permit but wants to get a license. They should become a second owner of their parent's car. However, there's word going around that there would be a second insurance? 1) How will the second insurance work? 2) Do you LEGALLY HAVE to have insurance? I'm not sure what else to ask, but, if someone could shed some light on how this has to be done, just let me know. Thanks.""
Insurance getting cancelled on an SR22 in VA?
I was so excited about good news I received, that I forgot that my insurance was going to cancel at midnight. I have an SR22 filing, even though I no longer require it. I left it there until it was time to renew. My question is how soon is DMV notified? Will I have time to call my agent first thing in the morning?""
File auto insurance claim or pay out-of-pocket in NJ?
My 17yo daughter just got her graduated NJ license, skidded on wet corner, causing $1300 in damage to wheel & susp. We have $500 deductible. Can we ask our insurance co. how much our rates will go up if we file a claim, or will that automatically flag her for additional points?""
Can I rent a car without insurance in Texas?
I haven't had a car for awhile but manage to get around easily. However my main ride source goes out of town for a month on Tuesday. I booked a rental through Enterprise online for use until main ride returns. Having not owned a car for awhile, I have no insurance, so my question is: will enterprise still allow me the rental without having personal insurance? I know they have insurance to purchase at time of rental, but I need to know if I will be denied rental without my own insurance. Please know what your talking about and be sure of your answer! It's very frustrating when people who don't know the answer respond with inaccurate information.""
Is this true about insurance?
i recently tried to tell my insurance agency (freeway insurance) in california that i want to remove a vehicle from my plan. however, they told me that i would still have to pay them the next month regardless because its a law or something. is this true? and can they really charge me a serivce fee for something like that? Thanks in advance!""
Teen car insurance questions?
ok i am 17 and i am looking for car insurance and confused can i get a policy of my own or do i have to be added to my parents policy ? and i went to progressive and they said it be lik 2500 is that pretty cheap or hella expensive ?
CAR INSURANCE FOR A 16 YEAR OLD?
would it be more expensive for car insurance for a brand new car or a used car.
Anybody knows reliable insurance companies that insure summer houses?
I've recently bought a summer house in Tavira, Portugal, which my family and I would like to insure because we won't use it constantly. Anybody knows reliable insurance companies that insure summer houses?""
How much would car insurance and tax cost?
I am a 23-year-old female living in a small English town. I have not even had driving lessons yet but I am considering it but first I want to know how much would car insurance and tax cost?
Is it possible to get really cheap or special low insurance coverage for?
HAVING MY CAR PARKED IN A LOT FOR THE NEXT 2 MONTHS (in Ft. Lauderdale FL), but Still Keep my Plates, so I can park legally? (I'll be out of the country until July)""
How much is insurance per month?
Insurance for a car. I'm going to buy a used car for no more than $3000, for getting to and fro school. How much would insurance be? Is insurance where you take out a loan and pay back on it month by month, forever? Or can you cease it at anytime?""
How much would a health insurance company charge to insure a 55yr. man with colitis?
How much would a health insurance company charge to insure a 55yr. man with colitis?
""How much does house insurance cost on a $500,000 house?""
How much does house insurance cost on a $500,000 house?""
Why has the cost of Car insurance suddenly shot up?
Got my renewal quote today, car insurance has risen by over 250 extra, I phoned around and the companies are saying that the quotes have just gone up without explanation. Is this just sheer exploitation and profiteering?, in this time of recession how can they seriously do this and ask for such things hand over fist.? Rip of Britain indeed. Is there an insurance regulator people can go to to get an opinion on it?""
Insurance rates of a new leased car vs. a used car?
I am looking for a car to drive, and it's my first car. I am wondering what the difference in insurance costs would be between: a) A brand new leased car b) A fairly old used car I know it depends on the type of car, but lets go with a honda accord, because that's what I would buy/lease. Also, I am 16. Is it possible for my dad to own the lease but designate me as the driver of the car?""
Motorcycle insurance?
I live in Southern California, what insurance compnay can I contact that will provide really cheap motorcycle insurance. Some of the rates out there are unbelieveable""
""How much would insurance be for a 17 year old with a 06 Altima,?
I live in Texas. I have no driving history. How can I bring down that cost?
What auto insurance offices offer reduced cost auto insurance program in the San Fernando Valley?
Details below if you do not know which one I am referring to? I'm not talking about the cliche low cost auto insurance that is available to everyone. etc...I'm talking about a specific plan offered by the state of California available at some insurance offices for low income individuals. I found one office with it, it isn't close enough, does anyone know of any more offices ? The California Low Cost Automobile Insurance Program (LCA): The California Low Cost Automobile Insurance Pilot Program, created in 1999, established a low-cost automobile insurance policy for residents of Los Angeles County and the City and County of San Francisco. California Law requires that all drivers be insured. However, too many low-income drivers remain uninsured because the costs of standard auto insurance premiums are beyond their financial reach. The programs purpose is to provide low-cost automobile liability insurance to good drivers who demonstrate financial need.""
I have lost my car insurance details and paid in full how can I find out who I am insured with?
After paying for my car insurance in full I have lost the documentation and cannot remember which company I am insured with is there any way to find out who my insurance company is?
Having difficulty cancelling auto insurance with allstate?
I switched from Allstate to Geico on Feb 21st (a Sunday). I called my local Allstate guy on Monday the 22nd. He said he'd cancel the policy, and I logged into my Allstate account online on the 27th and it still wasn't cancelled. I called their 24 hour customer service and spoke with someone who said they'd put in the request to cancel the policy again. I log into my bank today and they WITHDREW my March payment! So I called them again and they said the policy was still active. The lady I spoke with tonight said they will need to see proof that I'm with Geico now. Why didn't anyone tell me that the first two times? What do I need to do to get my policy to be cancelled? I've been with a few other auto insurance companies in my day and I've NEVER had this much of an issue getting the policy cancelled! As of now they owe me well over $200 and I'm afraid they're going to play games with me before I get my money back. What are my rights and options??""
nevada dmv no insurance
nevada dmv no insurance
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/tip-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-louisiana-alejandro-keat/"
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