#i don't care about the furry reality thing im long over that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shadale-s-safe-space · 6 months

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I don't know much about you as a person, but from what I can gather you've had a long journey with art, but still have the motivation to continue even when its rough. I'm sure you didn't start out making masterpieces, so if its not too much trouble, do you have any advice for a 16 year old artist losing motivation? i feel like im stagnating right now and its awful

Idk man, all I can say is, draw watchu want without the care who's gonna see it or what they gonna say , commit to new ideas and care less about pleasing everyone, because I know that way too well, I started learning by drawing animals, flowers and nature, "you should draw something else", switches to furries " No you must do human portraits", draws humans *no one fuckin cares*, and I felt miserable drawing what I didn't want all the damn time just trying to please everyone and be liked, hell, I still do that sometimes cuz I'm a dumbass. When in reality, when you do your own thing is when you're the happiest, this internet bullshit? Yeah don't trust the likes and favs, people like what they find relatable, no one really knows how much time you've spent on your drawing or how much you love it, when a 5 min doodle you did could do more than a painting that took 2 whole days to complete just to be scrapped in a new speedy record, paint what you love for yourself and you only.

Don't be shy to learn new things, I have tons of stuff I don't post here cuz I know people wouldn't care about it, but here for this post, have this that I practiced when I felt too depressed to think of anything good and wanted to step back from the MD artstyle

You'll see, you'll thrive when you draw what you want, and get yourself a drawing buddy! That way you'll stop focusing on the internet and more on each other, and each other's improvement. Tbh I struggled with that one. Since everyone I had were not into art irl, I somehow managed to find someone after 10 years of drawing alone. I honestly wanted more people to join in and make an improvement circle, but unfortunately that never happened.

I found myself twice as productive now than ever, even though I'm not active here as much I am still drawing and making things, ofc giving you more comics! And other fun things in the future I hope.

If you're struggling to draw something just do it, man commit, i was uncomfortable drawing men and male characters for years, I've wasted so many years being "too uncomfortable" and draw a naked person like yeesh who fucking cares, it's for studying.

And ofc if you feel like you're not improving at all please, please experiment with your artstyle and try something new, please refresh your mind, I was stuck for years doing the same thing over and over, same colors, same 2px brush, drawing like a machine same shit over and over, I felt so stuck and lost, but also afraid to do something new, idk why, I guess I never felt good enough or deserving of it. I also didn't go to art school, I am NOT a professional, nor will i ever be in my opinion. Hell, me feeling like I'll never be good enough left me afraid to try and apply for art school, they were asking for sculptures, different mediums all that scary stuff and I was like, I don't.. know.. how to do those things... I can't build a portfolio in less than 3 months?!?! I don't even know how to use half of what they're asking for!!

In reality at the end of the day, art is what you make of it and no one can stop you, search for inspirations and don't be afraid to try, yes you'll fail fist 2 or 10 or hell even 100 times, but you'll come back with more knowledge than ever.

For ending I give you the most confusing drawing to ever exist [dw he's just sleeping on top of her and she's just ghasping for air but awe romance or sum lol] is it weird? Yeah but I had a fun time making it hahaha

Idk I'm bad at putting my thoughts together, but hopefully some of this helps.

#murder drones #murder drones oc #artists on tumblr #digital painting

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auranunderscore · 3 months

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while im at it posting demos, here's a Long Song im working on about a kinda shitty co-dependent longterm situationship i ended in with someone that ended because of her getting in a monogamous relationship with a girl she met on 4chan

i dont have a beginning yet. also this demo is just voice and guitar...

lyrics:

[part 2]

you bled for me and i was so grateful when i wanted to you told me to be careful but none of that seems to matter anymore i told you i was hurt and you shut the door

we were never a thing like we wanted to be at least one of us now is no longer lonely i confess that i wish that i could fly then i'd crash into your arms and slowly die

i would rip out my eyes just to feel your embrace i would give everything up for just a little taste i've grown so attached after so many nights and i longed for you to ruin my life

SO FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR TALL EMO GIRLFRIEND I'M SHITTY, I'M JEALOUS, I WANNA DRINK TO FORGET I WANNA PUKE ALL OVER THE GODDAMN FLOOR THEN CUM IN MY WOUNDS WHILE THEY'RE STILL SORE

MAYBE I'LL FIND A CHASER TO CHOKE ME OUT CALL ME A SISSY BITCH AND WITHOUT A DOUBT HE'D BITE MY THIGHS WHILE I'M ALL DRUGGED UP AND CARVE HIS NAME IN ME, I'D BE SO FUCKED

(FREE ME FROM THIS EARTH, FREE ME FROM MY FEELINGS) (I WANNA TRANSCEND, DON'T WANNA BE HUMAN) (I WANNA BE DETATCHED FROM REALITY) (TO THE POINT WHERE DEATH WOULD BE RELIEF)

[part 3]

why is everyone that i ever loved so far away, makes me wanna give up i'm not stable with no one to hold and i feel my life forever unfold

we wanted to be something special we wanted to see where our life goes we wanted to be like the couples in comics the queer furry ones about death, drugs and vomit

we couldn't be there we couldn't stay there we couldn't move on could we be inhuman?

maybe i could sell all my cheap shit and save up work my ass off at a minimum wage job fly to seattle then make the drive just to see your face, just to say goodbye

i wish you well, i wish you're fine i think you'll do great things in life … i just wish that i could be part of it

[part 4] - 4/4

baby do you love me? i don't even love me baby look above me baby please don't shove me baby if you spoon me i will let you moon me baby if you suck me i will let you fuck me

#music #indie music #lgbt music #lgbt #slacker rock #demo #yes im twin fantasying her lol #she knows she's cool with it we're on good terms now #emo #i think this counts as emo?#idk lol #also the last part interpolates county fair by the moldy peaches #i love that song #i don't think i'm ever going to seattle btw that place fucking scares me lmao #that and portland #she doesn't even live in seattle just near it

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lesbiankermit-moved · 5 years

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as a butch lesbian, how does someone tell the difference between actual body dysphoria (hating my secondary sex characteristics in a trans way (?) versus body dysmorphia (hating them because they don't conform to society's expectations of me as a woman/the male gaze? I've been thinking about binding, but i'm not sure how that fits into my butchness/womanhood? This is a lot of questions that you don't have to answer I just really connect with the way you present and communicate your ideas. Thank!

(im v tired so lemme know if this is too rambly or messy to understand by the end eeeee)

it’s hard to define, especially for me as an outsider to your personal experience, because there isn’t yknow.. a Trans Test. there’s no right or wrong answer to the way you interpret your feelings and choose to label them. we all just out here tryna survive the bullshit that is Gender. and i don’t think dysphoria is necessarily a trans specific experience either, there are a LOT of women/lesbians and especially butches who experience dysphoria because of the trauma and hardships of living as a woman, living as a lesbian, etc.

and it’s not mutually exclusive either since yknow, there are a lot of butches who currently or formerly identified as trans, trans ppl who currently or formerly identified as butch, there’s butches who consider themselves nonbinary, or on the line btwn considering themselves exactly butch or exactly trans. there’s often a huge amount of overlap for our communities, and even the phrase “cis butch” still surprises me to see at times bc it’s just so far away from how i and a lot of other ppl conceptualize butchness. and i think it’s kind of a recent terminology too. like dysphoria and alienation from womanhood are like uhh butch staples tbh, and we don’t experience womanhood the same way feminine women do a lot of the time.

but yes yeah. the expectations of womanhood are a very odd, alienating thing when you’re butch/gender non conforming, and when you’re a trans masc/trans guy, or nb. if you do choose to bind your chest, that definitely “fits” with butchness and gnc womanhood though. there have been butches binding and taking hormones and getting top surgery and transitioning to varying degrees for a long time! you won’t be kicked out or anything for doing so. and if anyones ever a dick over it, they’re just not worth having around.

that being said! definitely make sure you research binding before you start, if you do end up doing it!. don’t use duct tape or ace bandages, get a proper tanktop style binder (i recommend gc2b or underworks), don’t sleep or exercise in it, don’t wear it longer than 8 hours, give yourself breaks and let your body rest.

the other thing i rec too is researching in the sense of like, even when binding safely, it’s still not a Safe thing to do exactly. it can have long term effects on your breast tissue, some people lose feeling, it can fuck up your back, etc. it’s generally not the most comfortable thing physically, esp if you have other health issues. it’s like a good tool if your dysphoria is so bad you can’t do things without it, or if you absolutely need to pass as male for smth.

but also there’s nothing wrong with seeking out other means of dysphoria management too - personally i’ve been working more on the mental side lately and like practicing self love and self healing and self care.. like when i was always binding it kind of made it worse for me, bc i was used to that image of myself, so when i wasn’t binding i felt even more dysphoric if tht makes sense? but now i just try to focus on like, adjusting myself to the reality of my body, letting myself exist, reminding myself i don’t need to be perfect or skinny or appealing to men; my body is just a home and i should appreciate being it.

this might be dorky but i think a lot about the mary oliver quote “let the soft furry animal of your body want what it wants” and it kinda grounds me n reminds me like.. i’m just an animal! i don’t need to be “feminine” or “womanly” or anything at all, i can just Be.

sorry this went REAL long n longer than i meant it to but aaaa i hope this was at least kinda helpful!! hfjf

#asks #anonymous #dysphoria #binding #long post #SOZ FR THE LATE ANSWER TOO BTW

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