#i cried my fking eyes out so ill share the pain

[daemon-in-my-head]

I'm not over it, but really, Durgetash is just a story about loss and loneliness.

These two people have lost literally everything, their homes, their families (if they even had one to begin with), their freedom, they even lost their own godforsaken personhood. They were stripped of absolutely everything. They were reduced to less than nothing.

And then they turned around and found each other, somehow, by a twisted blessing of the fates they got to start building a home, reclaiming their personhood, working hard on gaining that freedom. Gortash literally welcomes Durge back home. It's not welcome back. It's specifically welcome back home. They made themselves a new home. Perhaps the first one they ever had.

And then they had everything ripped away from them yet again. Every last bit they worked so hard on crushed and crumbled to nothing with no way to fix it ever again. Because the loss had been so great, there was no way for recovery. No way to repair their little, frail shack they called home. And that loss must've been far more painful, because now, at least one of them, still knew what it was like to have a home. And yet it was taken away from them once again.

But despite that I still think about what would've happened if Durge had woken up with their memories intact. If they had taken on that journey knowing fully well who they were and what was on the line. I wonder if that time could've changed them or if they would've just ran back home, utterly blinded. Because yes it was shit back there. Yes they were doing unspeakable things and forced to do unspeakable things. But at least they had a home. They had someone. At least they weren't alone after decades of having nothing. After years of being so alone they found belonging and companionship in a literal murder cult. I wonder if they would've just hurried back because getting to save yourself is great, but perhaps just getting home a day earlier would be even greater.

Did not mean to post that post from earlier so I actually had to go wade thru my fucking drafts. This is hell.

#also i just watched grave of the fireflies again #mightve contributed to this post #i cried my fking eyes out so ill share the pain #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #bg3 gortash #enver gortash #durgetash #bg3 durge #lord gortash #gortash x durge #durge #dark urge