#i could have made this so depressing

[stil-lindigo]

scorched earth.

a comic about a princess who died in a fire.

(this is a sequel to bite of winter, a comic about Snow and what became of her after her death.)

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creative notes:

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all my other comics

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#cw: blood #cw: beheading #cw:death #cw: gore #cw: burning alive #so nice of ash to have prepared a barbequed buffet ready for snow when she arrives #if it wasn't made clear enough ash did die in that fire #she just did it while taking down as many people as she could in the process. and now shes a smoke monster #and yes. the fire powers do imply she's not quite human. but shes human enough to fall in love and die and thats enough. #im sorry this comic took me so long. i had about a week where i was very depressed and nothing got done. #thank you for your patience #and as always #thank you for reading #comic art #sapphic art #lgbt #horror #somehow not as scary as snow but ash is still fearsome in her own way #stillindigo art #stillindigo comics

[factual-fantasy]

I’m absolutely OBSESSED with the concept of “Glamrock DJ Music Man”.

Not only can he give like, the BEST hugs ever, and kids likely wouldn’t be as scared of him, and he can DRAW, But there’s also so many ways that DJ being this shape would drastically change the flow of my AU!

If DJ looked like this? He would no longer be confined to the Arcade. He would have the freedom to roam where ever he wants to like the others do. So when DA starts acting weird and eventually disappears? Instead of just sitting there and hoping for the best.. DJ would just straight up leave the Arcade and go check on him. In which Sunny would be able to explain what was going on in the safety of the Daycare.

DJ would have access to so much more information as well! When Freddy and the gang started acting weird and disappeared, DJ would be able to actually go and talk to them. In which he would find out that something is wrong with all of them. DJ being unable to leave the Arcade has greatly limited everyone’s flow of information, considering the “bug” didn’t effect DJ the same way it did the others.. He could have witnessed everyone's slow decline into malfunction with clear eyes. And probably could have stopped it. He could have even told Freddy and the others about their weird behavior once they were fixed. But alas, in cannon he just simply cant leave the Arcade. And thus couldn’t help any of his friends in their time of need.🥺

#dj music man #daycare attendant #fnaf security breach #for real tho this was a lot of fun #to draw #this is like only half of the sketches I made for this idea #it also felt cool to fully color some characters for a change XD #DJ would have the most comforting hugs ;-; #depression who? #anxiety who? #Not in DJs arms #This way DJ could visit SUNNY instead #He could spend time with him every night #they could talk and talk and he would always be there to comfort him about his malfunctioning moon side #DJ could give Sunny constant updates on what's happening outside the daycare #That level of comfort and security would have done WONDERS for Sunny #DJ too actually #he wouldn't be lonely in the Arcade this way #aaaa so many ideas!

[carlyraejepsans]

i don't think I've ever enjoyed a birthday party with friends as much as today i am genuinely getting a bit teary eyed

#initially i wasn't planning to do anything but then i thought what the hell what if we go out to drink something #except it was all very up in the air so a good deal of folks couldn't come (which is fine that one's on me) #but the two who COULD make it are genuinely some of the funniest motherfuckers I've ever met and one of them brought his gf along #and we hit it off IMMEDIATELY and THEN we ran into another pal I hadn't seen in a while and hadn't had the chance to invite in person #who also joined in after he finished hanging out with other people and they got me a present????? 😭 #i haven't had a birthday with friends in fucking . 3 years between covid and everyone i knew moving away #I'm so happy i think my heart is going to explode #which ik. hey isn't that a very boring and simple hangout YES but also not to me baby i have been in a depression isolation all my teens #i started to genuinely enjoy my day to day life like. 4 months ago ever since starting uni #it feels like turning a new leaf yknow? like. i made it. i made it out. god i could cry #sorry I'm a little drunk

[sciderman]

How do you feel about the increase in really weird NSFW ads on here (advertising panels that look like sexual encounters, and AI art apps that pride themselves on porn) but will take down NSFW posts from their users, even if it isn't technically sexual.

i hate all social media and it's consistent prioritising the advertisers over the users and the internet simply was a better place before capitalism sunk its hooks into it

#i could write essays about how capitalism ruined the internet. #i was actually talking to someone earlier today about how youtube was kind of effectively ruined by monetisation. #and they were raised in the soviet union and we had a bit of a talk about how art was better because it wasn't for profit. #the people who made art made it because they wanted to do it and because they loved it. #she said that communism was terrible for every aspect of life for her. people's lives under communism wasn't pretty. #but the art was better. and i feel like it's true for the internet – it was better when it was a free-for-all. #the companies didn't know how to exploit it yet and turn it into a neverending profit-driven hellscape. #people created content because they wanted to. because they wanted to make something silly to make people laugh. #not for profit. not for gain. not for numbers. not to further their career. #i miss the days of newgrounds and youtube before monetisation. #capitalism has soiled everything that's joyful and good in this world. #people should be able to share whatever they want. #people should be able to tell any story they want without the fear of being silenced by advertisers. #that's what made the internet so beautiful before. anyone could do anything and we all had equal footing. #but now we're victims of the algorithm. and it makes me sick. #i'm quitting my job in social media. i'm quitting it. it makes me too depressed. i have an existential crisis every freaking day. #every day i wake up and say "ah. this is the fucking hell we live in #i'm so sorry i feel so passionate about this. #social media is a black hole and it is actively destroying humanity. forget ai. social media is what's doing it. #i miss how beautiful the internet used to be. it should've been a tool for good. but it's corrupt and evil now. #sci speaks

[mountainashes]

I love Until Dawn (evidently) but omg everytime I play the game or think abt the game I end up feeling so gd sad. Like damn its bleak. Josh Washington genuinely has made me cry more times than I can count.

#until dawn #josh washington #joshua washington #its just the saddest thing ever #Id have it no other way of course #but like ow #its just tragedy after tragedy #theres no real comfort in any of the endings #josh always dies or becomes a monster #and he was doomed to that fate the second they made the choice to play that prank on hannah #theres literally nothing that could be done and it makes you feel so helpless #even in the best case scenario where the other 7 live they have to live with all that trauma and knowledge they cant share with anyone ever #their friends are dead. The Washington kids are dead and its all because of a stupid prank most of them played. #and with Sam she literally loses all her actual close friends #all of them just have to live with the guilt #UD has no happy ending for anyone and its so painfully depressing and thats why the story is good. It makes an impact. #god I love this stupid game sm

[dailypokemoncrochet]

There's just something so ?¿? about how I'm only able to actively work on this project when I'm at objectively the lowest points of my life (deepest depression, lonely, unemployed, no income, lot of time) and only because I have family that I can be wholly financially dependent on. All of the work I've done is cool and an accomplishment but also nearly the entire time spent on it I've felt like a failure because I can't do anything else.

But when I'm working full time and even when I love my job and coworkers, I am so tired I can't do any art or anything after work, and then I seemingly out of nowhere have a meltdown and quit. Idk. Something here about needing art to live but not being able to live off making art and the disparate ways art is tied to survival

#text #depression has been here the whole time but making itself Known atm #im so tired and sad and wish i didnt have to be this way #i wish i could separate the guilt of everything else from making my crochets #but the circumstances that let me crochet to this extent. come with massive amounts of guilt. and its just all bad. #society wasnt made for people like me. and that sucks. #i quit my last job because they changed my seat. thats the stupidest fucking thing. but my brain could not get over it and #also i never wanted to work for [company] and management wouldnt accommodate me without medical documentation and so i just quit #and im back making my art. (positive) (negative) (?¿¿)

[alsojnpie]

hey. um. i love him

#O_O i really love him #it's getting warmer every day and i can't draw him in a sweater for much longer #by the way. is this site going to. yknow. die #sigh........i kept telling myself I'd get better at it one day #kind of like the way i tell myself i can get together courage to speak up but i never do #using another website just sounds so depressing #im not good at social media. im tired of pretending like i can get good at it #but you can't even pretend like you can jump into a conversation if no one is having a conversation #i wanted to be part of a community here but i never could figure out what belonging looked like or how i could do it #and maybe it's my fundamental misunderstanding of that that prevents it but how can i understand it without experience #I'm so jealous of everyone who looks like they achieved what i couldn't even put my finger on. but since i didn't even understand it #i can't even be sure what exactly im jealous of #the other day i walked past a trio of friends and they had their arms around each other and were laughing as they walked #and i felt really strongly that even though I've always wanted a friend like that I'm actually fundamentally incompatible with that. #there's several reasons #but it made me feel really sad. but it made me feel a little better too. i guess it's really not my fault. maybe. i don't really know #in that moment it felt very much like something that was not my fault. and it was nice and sad at the same time #idk what's going to happen here. but one thing i know for sure is that i can have a happy tomorrow. no matter what #no matter what i have to give up on. i can find joy in other things. even in myself #and if there's one idea that he is about. it's that one

[ryssbelle]

My cousins made their own troll Ocs and I drew them in my style.

They were very excited about it

#my art #not my art #both #trolls #dreamworks trolls #they had a lot of fun making these #i actually really love the color palette for princess i think my cpusin did a very good job on that #claw is something else #he is a unicorn troll #neon green was an interesting choice but hey claw is an interesting guy #is it obvious idk how to draw country trolls lmao #ever since i told them i also liked trolls we have had our own little club #im their person who they can talk to about it #they will also just sit and ask me to draw tiny diamond and guy diamond over and over and over and over and over again #they really like tiny diamond #but hey i love those little guys so i draw the trolls they demand of me #they also asked me to draw poppy and branch so they could color them #i still have to finish my viva coloring page for them #the younger of the two who made princess is really good at color picking and color matching #she colored poppy without a ref and its p accurate to her colors #the older one who made claw used the ref for every color but he got pretty close when he tried to guess #the older one also misunderstood me when i said id been practicing art since i was 5 and thought i was this good since i was 5 #he was very depressed for about 15 minutes #it was really funny but dw i assured him that was not the case #but like for those 15 min he did not believe me #even his sister was like 'nono you didnt hear it right' but he was already in the emo zone #he was fine later tho and continued on making his troll #and also proud teacher moment but i had taught princesses creator some art techniques off handedly #not expecting her to remember any of it but then she did and apparent shes been using it ever since #im like omg i actually taught another human bsing something its insane

[spaghett-onaplate]

depression is really weird actually wdym i spent 2.5 years of my life in bed

#and wdym that lifestyle changed so quickly into being out and about and an active member of the world?? #very proud of myself #and i mean it wasn't that quick of a change #it was like 1.5 years primarily depression bedrotting with occasional school -> primarily depression bedrotting -> #primarily depression bedrotting with 3-9 hours of work weekly -> straight into 31+ hours school+9-12 hours work weekly #so there was somewhat of a gradual progression #but still #also wowza i wake up 7-7:30am every morning now. 1pm was an early wake up for a not so insignificant amount of time #i mean of all fundamental growth years to miss out on the ages like what 12/13-15 aren't too bad? they would suck in a different way if i #had been socially involved #anyway it's just. yea i'm proud of myself but it is a crazy lifestyle change #and even when i was deeply depressed in a horrible routine i feel like i learned a lot. how to regulate my emotions and cope well and find #the joy in everything. bc if i stayed in bed all day then i would at least be happy about the sun or whatever #and for the while of being not at school at all i WANTED to be at school i just could not find one bc our school system is so cute like tha #(basically every school is at capacity and the local school that has a guaranteed place for me would have been an all boys or girls 😭) #but i miraculously found and got into this school and miraculously made it work so well for me socially and now academically #it's also a good time to get back into school for my education bc any later and it woulda been pretty bad for all my certifications and uni #ive missed out on so much maths that its not worth it to me to try and catch up but my teacher knows that #but ive always hated maths regardless i only ever understood it for the first half of yr 7 then my attendance dropped #and after my recent exam i decided to try harder at school. but i still got an A on the exam i didn't study for!! academic weapon fr #i'm just idk thinking back to myself in the past few years #and how hopeless it all felt. but i got out of it!! i beat the depression and social anxiety and found a good place and made the most of it #and during the peak of my depression i remember i went out someplace near my old school and panicked so so badly about seeing #kids from my old school. and the friends at the time didnt really check on me when i went to shake and cry in a side street lmao #i kept the best of that friendgroup and have better friends now. but anyway now i take a bus each morning with some kids from my old school #and you see these hands? they look like they're shaking to you? #anyway yeah it's just cool i got to this point :) i really had no hope for so long but now i have a life i'm living and a future i'm build #--ing towards #which is funny i just decided some random day last november after watching some better call saul 'huh actually lawyer would b pretty cool' #and will i get there? we'll see but i do have hope now

[spaceratprodigy]

🎉 [ Art from 2022-2023 ] 🎉

Happy Birthday to my most favorite person in the world, the love of my life 🖤

I still can't believe this'll make our 10th year of being best friends and even more I can't believe we get to celebrate our 8th anniversary this summer 💖💕

Commission Info | Ko-Fi | My Links

#I was gonna type out more but I decided I didn't want to be too sappy and emotional on main #so much has happened in these past 10 years #I can't believe I made it this far I really did not think I was going to have a future #but I did and I do #I have the most wonderful partner who I connect with in a way I never thought was possible #I am capable of being loved I am capable of loving in return #I learned how to love myself and be unapologetically myself for myself #I lost a lot of people and some very much for the better #I've become so so much happier my god I never thought I'd ever know what this felt like #I'm still angry and numb and having to battle depression but I've grown I've finally become someone worth being proud of #I'm no longer letting that anger and grief and everything that comes with it take over #I can't believe I've actually become gentler and kinder #I can't believe I've actually made genuine friends with people who are nice and caring and supportive #and are actually happy to see me and not trying to take advantage of me at every opportunity I'm finally seen as a person #I can't believe I'm finally in a safe environment I don't have to be terrified anymore I'm not going to be hurt anymore #I can't believe how far I've come creatively bc of how much bf has supported my every passion wholeheartedly #he is the reason I have a drawing tablet he is the one who encourages me and cheers on everything I do #god I still don't know how I could ever in my life thank you enough for every goddamn wonderful thing you do for me #you have changed everything for the better none of this would have ever happened if it wasn't for you #it's always been you #I fucking love you #more than anything in this universe and the next #forever and always #my art #glad I listened to my first tag lmao

[bunnihearted]

funny that therapists whose job it is to listen to u are the WORST listeners in society lmaooooooo. they dont hear a single word u say. they genuinely dont care abt what u say at all, they're just gnna take what theyve read in some textbook and apply it on to u. whatever u say you're not a person speaking words, your just a box filled with their judgements and pre constructed notions abt whatever diagnosis theyve assigned to u. therapists and psychiatrists are the most useless and incompetent ppl in society lmao. such a fkn joke it's insane how theyre even allowed to get paid for the shit quality job they perform ._.

#im not even convinced they process or register anything i say #also do they even have an education.....? #i've tried bringing up my depersonalization experiences and they just sit there like blank pages #and look at me like I AM THE WEIRD ONE!!!!!! u have gone to school for it yet i am familiar w more concepts than u?!?!?????? #they dont even know what DEPERSONALIZATION or derealization or any of that is!!!!!!!!! #they just look at me w a bored dead look in their eyes and say yeah u are depressed #i've even been called WEIRD!! by therapists!!!!!!!!!!! #i now know that it was avpd behaviors but when i didnt know and i talked abt it w therapists #they scrunched their eyebrows and got frustrated w me for not just having social anxiety so i could be easy to deal e #and they were like 'uh huh thats strange' ?!?!!???? #that made it SO much harder to talk in therapy bc now i just constantly overthink every single thing i say and wonder if theyre gonna call #me weird. like idk i just rlly... hate therapists. i hate them so much #and psychiatrists? 🤢🤮 they look at u like a lab rat or a statistic or an annoyance #they dont give a single fuck abt u. they arent even competent enough to help u!!! #like idk maybe u have to be rich and buy quality care but every single one of them i have met have been utterly worthless #rndz

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.

#I've sort of made a new friend? Like we met at the same art group and he's also trans which was like pleasantly surprising in our small town #but like. We have Differences Of Opinion #and it's not totally his fault because it sounds like he's had a Lot of bad shit in his past that's obviously made him wary and closed off #but like. He's slightly older than me (only 4 years) and keeps blaming a load of his problems on other trans folks? #like you know the type. The like 'all these nonbinary/other identities the kids are doing are complicating shit' #the 'it hurts to see people younger than me inc. kids get hormones thrown at them when I still can't get 'em' (which... yeah not even true) #and he's told me himself he doesn't engage much with the queer community bc it's too 'toxic' #and like. I can absolutely understand why he could've had some bad experiences esp. since he has some mental health shit going on #but he wants to be friends bc he doesn't know anyone else going through the medical shit and it's like. Yeah no shit you don't? #you decided the community you'd find them in is toxic? and that people in them are doing being trans wrong? #and I think if he was just some guy online I'd like roll my eyes and ignore him #but he's a real person in my vicinity and I feel fucking bad for him #and I can see how much self loathing he has and how much that probably informs the bullshit #like he told me he thinks that trans men and cis men are fundamentally different categories and trans men will never be cis men #but not in a 'the experiences are just different and come with different perspectives way' #in like a self defeating way. Like a I just have to settle for being a trans man way. #and it made me SO SAD #like bro #I'm so sorry for whoever the fuck made you feel like you're fighting an unwinnable battle #and I want to be a friend to him. I want him to feel like there's other queer people out there and there's friends and hope #but also I genuinely could see him being the kind of person who would get really angry at you for no fault of your own #like I already get the distinct feeling he resents me a little #like obviously not too much since he still wants to hang #but he's been trying and failing to get HRT for years and I got it super quickly basically by sheer luck/a doctor who looks out for me #like I'm so fucking lucky. And I just genuinely feel like he's the kind of person who might take that personally. #I just do not think I have the fucking. Emotional tool kit to salvage this shit #But I also can't exactly text him and say sorry I don't think we should hang out so. What do. #.....I wasn't even LOOKING for a new friend! I have enough friends!!! I wanted to make clay faces and look at pretty buildings dammit!!! #now I have to be the emotionally mature one who goes hmmm maybe let's not blame other depressed trans kids for our problems buddy #I'm just gonna have to be like. Upfront about my stance and if he doesn't like it well he doesn't have to hang out with me

[symbiotic-slime]

would you guys be interested in venom/the magnus archives crossover fan art

#I wanna draw the guys as avatars #also I think it would be a fun challenge to try to make Venom visibly an avatar of the hunt #because they already look like that #but I have ideas for the others :3 #venom #venom comics #venom movies #the magnus archives #I’m going to elaborate in the tags because I can #so Eddie is 100% an avatar of the corruption #and is also the type of guy who willingly became an avatar #he’s so deranged he would be enthralled by the wasp nest in his attic #he would be a victim of the lonely though #like especially comics!Eddie #because his bond with the symbiote is so deep that like. being singular sends him into a depressive spiral #flash is an avatar of the slaughter #but he’s not deranged like Eddie his was more of a result of his situation #like being a bully and then joining the military #very slaughter coded #and yes he’s made up for the bullying so I’m not sure how that would play in?? but he still does have some anger issues #he’s a victim of the web #like one the alcoholism is classic web #and two being manipulated. like the whole agent venom arc where he was essentially being blackmailed by jack olantern #venom is a manifestation of the corruption #an avatar of the hunt #and probably also a victim of the lonely #like I think the idea of being alone as a being who’s whole purpose is to bond and connect with a host would be devastating #recently I think they could probably also be a victim of the desolation given that everyone important to them keeps fucking dying lmao #I’m kinda second guessing myself with flash because he’s just so damn normal like he doesn’t revel in war but I also want to give him one #do any of my followers know both of these. if so please help me out I’m struggling with flash 😭

[volivolition]

if i do not make like. a comic? a ficlet? even a drabble of a piece about voli making that 7:30 vow with harry i will probably perish.

i think about this all the time.

VOLITION - "You'll wake up in the morning. I understand it's hard, to get out of bed. To do anything. But the sun will rise and you will too, again and again. And I will do *everything* I can to keep you alive, as long as you wake up in the morning for me. Promise that you'll try. Promise me."

#volition to harry is what harry is to revachol. ''I NEED YOU. YOU CAN KEEP ME ON THIS EARTH. BE VIGILANT. I LOVE YOU'' #just a small part of something so large and chaotic and sprawling. so bad and so good. and trying to do the right thing amidst it all #because you need; because you /want/ so desperately for this larger being to live (not for your sake but because you love the being) #i'd probably call it The Sunrise Momentum or something. this could be something simple. oh voli wants you to set an alarm big whoop. #but i know there's something deeper there. the fact that voli brings it up so specifically as you wake up on the second day. #''waking up is the worst part'' buddy i have woken up on bad depression days to know /exactly/ why this promise was made #as long as you get up. as long as you are there in the morning i can keep you alive. i just gotta be able to write it in a way i like. #chemi chats #task: sunrise momentum

[muiromem]

You know, it would be a LOT easier to explain to doctors where my pain is on my body

A: If the pain wasn’t in my BACK and therefore impossible for me to SEE or properly POINT TO with my short fucking arms

B: If every diagram of the human body available to me wasn’t made for TALL PEOPLE and therefore way harder guess where I should be pointing in reference to my own short fucking body

C: If the doctors examining me would just PUSH HARDER ALREADY. I literally have so much radiating pain, your fucking butterfly taps of “does it hurt here?” are NOT HELPING. You need to DIG IN THERE or I can’t TELL YOU WHAT HURTS MOST.

#really cranky tonight #and pissed about having chronic pain for THREE YEARS #and not a SINGLE DOCTOR can actually tell me what's WRONG #oh they want to give me drugs and physical therapy #and the PT only made me hurt MORE #but they didn't LISTEN #stop fucking trying to give me bandaid measures #when you can't even tell me WHY I hurt #and now I have to listen to my little sister #fucking moan and whine and have fucking drawing room anguish #every goddamn night #because she's been fighting a bladder infection #for a few months #bitch I was never ALLOWED to bitch this much #all I got was my mom getting mad at me #for being vocal #when there was nothing she or anyone else could do about it #so I had to keep my depression to my damn fucking self #god get a fucking grip

[averlym]

whshdfhfjf.,,,

#close up!! because i firstly Did Not render them with such insanity in order for tumblr's lack of general resolution to make it blur #look at all the lines!!! teehee i still really really like this style of digital painting it's super super fun to do!!! and also secondly #because i went back and added a tag ramble and as i seem to often be doing??? lately?? reached the 30 tag limit and went 'hm ok how else..' #anyway the tag essay on that one is now up and talks about the artwork generally and miscellaneous thoughts!! that said. i need a space to #ramble about beatrix at Length because look you don't draw and paint etc a character for like ten hours without having a lot of thoughts #anyways ! i digress terrifically. tag rambles are more like trains of thoughts masquerading as subways and you get on and it's unfortunately #a rollercoaster track. but this is My Blog and i can do Whatever I Want as long as i don't hurt anyone <- affirmations!! also Harm Principle #lately it's been like *kicks up feet* *opens tumblr tags* *treats it as own personal journal* and tbh Good for me!! anyways back to beatrix #fun fact ! the thing that pushed me over the edge to go watch the musical after looking through the tumblr tag was a very specific poll. #and the fact that the winning option was blue hair and pronouns made me double over laughing so hard i had to go see the source material #mm i feel like lately the academic Context has been tossing me essentially into a blender HAHA ;-; so everyone in adamandi is to some extent #a Mood. but bea-specific (haha be specific)(sorry!)(wow this is the same reaction mechanism of my friend who points out innuendos)(...) #i think it's the wanting to prove herself. like from the whole abuela etc thing there's proof here she's got a Stable Support System of sort #and instead what beatrix continues to do is push themselves. 'i guess u could say i'm married to my work? god that's depressing' // no one #here to enforce that // abuela tells me to rest says i'm constantly stressed and i'll just get depressed like before but i still have to try #like. that shred of desperation that pushes you to the brink to neglect yourself (well i guess physically but also your morals..) and like!! #the whole 'lose half your soul thing' proves she's self aware!! like they know what they're doing is super dubious yknow! but they're still #they're still doing it even if it goes into conflict with their morality system in a way and then they justify it to themselves (see pt 1 #of ghostwriter) and the whole wanting to achieve at all costs Despite the self awareness. (i think? this aspect also applied to quincy. but #thoughts on him will come later). more beatrix specific also is the fact that they genuinely adore their work.. 'i just love it here where #you know they'll be printing forever and you are just part of it' because that does kind of resonate with me. also the being behind in the #competition is real!!! i'm maybe talking about Art as a subject because that same drive for it exists on my good days i think. even #even when nothing seems to be going right and you've ended up at the back the intent passion inherent in what you do is still there!!! #the genuine. care she has for reporting. is so !!!!! to me... other beatrix thoughts include 'why reveal yourself at the end' aka vincent's #'u should have stayed silent u had a smart plan' like rip to them but i would not // it feels with bea's complex character i can't imagine h #her Not doing that. like the guilt is real i guess. and i am running out of tags but! smth also about her fervent hope or smth that she'll #eventually get to where she wants. and the resilient determination.. 'i won't let their deaths be pointless there's more good i'm gonna do' #they're so so real for that. i'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing; seeing myself reflected in aspects of characters like this.. but it's #it's there regardless. smth smth just make your peace with the person you are ig!! tldr beatrix campbell my beloved. hehe #adamandi